#and took out the sauce bottles and cleaned the container and everything

[dragons-and-yellow-roses]

My coworker and I are both enjoying Adderall today but we're also dealing with starting a project and concentrating so hard that you can't stop, even though it's taking so much longer than you thought you just gotta keep concentrating and concentrating until your coworkers are worried because you've been scrubbing the rack that holds fry baskets for at least thirty minutes and refuse to stop even though it's really not an important task, you gotta finish. You have no choice in the matter.

[murdermeadow]

see, I adore Kieran with all my heart and soul, and I always find myself thinking about all the terrible shit he did too. like. yes he was a right proper asshole while we weren't around - I honestly do think that he toned it down once the protag got there because he didn't want them growing any ill will towards him.

but. what was he like when we weren't there? well. really shitty. we know from the first scene we see him in during The Indigo Disk that he is very flippant when it comes to League Club membership. he took complete control of the organization, and made many strict rules to keep only the best of the best taking part. everyone else, those he deemed weak, would eventually fall through the cracks in one way or another. all of this is fact, but what about the deeper stuff?

one of my main ideas is about neglect. he's obsessed with getting strong, right? we see his team entirely change too, correct? so then what happened to all his former teammates? what about all those it took to get him to that extremely powerful point? I like to think that all those pokeballs you see scattered around his room actually hold his past teammates - one of his desk drawers is full of old pokeballs, all holding former teammates that didn't stand up to his extremely high standards and expectations. so many animals, stretched to the end of their wits in training, just to disappoint him and be shoved into a dark corner. never to be touched again. it's an important part of his character to touch on, how flippant he is with membership, be it within the club or his own group of 6. all his current team are the cream of the crop, the only ones who could withstand his constant training - except for hydrapple. the one who stuck with him to the end. the one he named Apple Sauce as a child, and could never be brought to change. the dipplin always wanted to be strong, coincidentally growing in steady pace with the boy as he made his way up the top. his furret... was the first one to go. it wanted a simple life, one with friendship and love. not the constant training that he tried putting it through. so he discarded it. off onto the desk it goes, never to be touched until many months in the future, after everything is said and done. Kieran feels incredibly guilty for all of it, but it never struck him until after learned his lesson and began to heal

another important bit that I headcanon is about his dorm room. that thing was a full on depression nest. the only thing to be cared about is studying and battling, right? so what's the use in cleaning? the trash in his room piled up greatly - think similar to Penny's dorm. snack containers, candy wrappers, empty bottles of pop and unopened food laying around. unidentifiable crust all around the small kitchen counters. his hallway was beginning to turn into a narrow strip, just easy enough to walk through without tripping on anything, directly to his desk. bins were overflowing, clothes were strewn about inside the wardrobe and piling out of it. it was a disaster, really. just barely liveable. but that's all he needed.

I have even more thoughts but it's late as all hell and I'm losing the train. take what I've got for now