#its right next to the garbage can so its filthy

[dragons-and-yellow-roses]

My coworker and I are both enjoying Adderall today but we're also dealing with starting a project and concentrating so hard that you can't stop, even though it's taking so much longer than you thought you just gotta keep concentrating and concentrating until your coworkers are worried because you've been scrubbing the rack that holds fry baskets for at least thirty minutes and refuse to stop even though it's really not an important task, you gotta finish. You have no choice in the matter.

[homelanderbutbig]

The Brutus To His Caesar (G/T Homelander x Reader)

1942 words. Pure fluff. Homelander is 8 feet tall. Reader is non-descriptive. Established relationship.

You get a dog without telling Homelander, and he is not a fan. Inspired by a conversation with @sehtoast. (thank you again bruv ;_;)

Homelander's days follow a predictable pattern. He wakes up in the morning, performs his superhero duties and events in the afternoon, then comes back to his penthouse to spend his night with you. From when he was a child in the lab, he's come to appreciate having a steadfast routine to follow, without the fear of something unknown causing a disturbance.

That is why he can't hide the utter disbelief painted on his face when he comes back to the penthouse in the evening, and finds you sitting on the couch with a dog.

"What… what is that… thing doing in here?" he sneers, eyeing this filthy creature that is blissfully laying its head on your lap. He can feel tightness constricting his chest as a wave of anxiety begins to spike inside him.

"One of my co-workers couldn't care for him anymore," you explain. "They had to re-home him on short notice, so I offered to take him. I'll bring him back to my apartment tomorrow, but we had plans for tonight so I brought him here with me."

"You… y-you took this mutt in without consulting me?" Homelander interrogates you, words laced with his discontent. Walking in front of the couch, he glares down as you shower this mongrel with your affection. He should be the one lying in your lap right now, not this dumb animal.

"I wasn't going to let this poor guy go to the pound if I could help it," you respond, doing your best to reason with him. "He's a senior dog, he needs extra care."

"Y-you're going to be keeping this thing?" he scoffs, finding it hard to believe you could do something like this to him. "Don't you know how many people get killed by dogs every year?"

"You think this little fella is going to do something like that?" you retort, looking down at the docile, sleepy dog on your lap and back up at the eight foot tall murder machine looming over you. "Honey, he's a couch potato that sleeps 20 hours a day. He may not have very many years left, he deserves to spend that time somewhere where he's safe and loved. I'm not getting rid of him."

Letting out an exasperated chortle, Homelander shakes his head while putting his hands on his hips. He's quickly realizing you're serious about keeping this dog, and there's nothing he can do to change your mind. How could you do this to him? He thought you loved him, that he was the only one you would ever love. Then you go and give your love to something else?

His jaw tenses while he feels himself spiraling from his initial thoughts of you loving this pet, to his all-too-familiar fear of losing you. This dog, this supervillain, is conspiring against him to ruin his life and you can't even see how it's manipulating you. It's going to usurp him in his position as your favourite, leaving him tossed aside like yesterday's garbage. He can't let that happen, not again, not-

"Hey," you exclaim, seeing Homelander spin further into his inner turmoil. You knew he would have trouble accepting this change, but you weren't expecting him to be so dramatic about it. "Sit down next to me, okay?"

Your words snap him out of this headspace, though he is still quite distraught. With a hard swallow, he reluctantly sits down beside you, tight fists in his lap, keeping a space in between him and that diabolical homewrecker.

"You know this dog is not going to replace you, right?" you console him. Even sitting at an equal elevation you are only eye-level with Homelander's pecs, so you have to crane your head up to look at his face.

He stares down at the ground, avoiding eye contact with you as he feels tears beginning to form in his eyes. However, his nerves deflate ever so slightly from feeling your hand touch his fist, and he loosens his stiff grip enough to let you slip your fingers in between his knuckles.

"I care about you Homelander," you continue, giving the leather of his glove a gentle squeeze. "I love you more than anything in the whole entire world. This dog doesn't take away any of those feelings. I just wanted to help him, because he can't help himself. You can understand that, can't you?"

With a deep sigh, he gives you a feeble nod and finally turns his head to look at you. His big blue eyes are glassy as a single tear rolls down his cheek, his nose is sniffling, his lips are quivering, but his mind is solely focused on you now.

You figure this is as good a time as any to introduce him to the dog.

"Can you take your gloves off for me?" you ask tenderly, and Homelander does so immediately, freeing both of his hands and leaving the gloves on the adjacent couch cushion. He returns his left hand to you, entwining it with your fingers and relishing the feeling of your soft skin.

"I want you to meet Murphy," you say, gesturing to the dog. "You can give him a pet. He's a good boy, he won't bite."

"I… I-I don't…" he stutters, holding onto his breath as his eyes dart back and forth. You notice his face subtly twitching, along with his hands going rigid.

"You don't what, sweetie?" you ask him, using your free hand to give the dog a little scratch behind his ear. Slowly, it perks itself up from your lap to angle its head towards your fingers.

"D-don't… don't know h-how…" he mumbles in a voice barely audible to you, sounding more like a small child than a grown man.

"You've never pet a dog before?" you enquire.

The way he once again refuses to look in your direction tells you that you've hit the nail on the head. Owning a pet is just another average human thing Homelander has never been able to experience. He was never permitted to be around animals in the lab, nor has he ever really interacted with them during his tenure at Vought. Not that he would want to anyway, with how delicate and finicky animals are with his size. Regular people can barely handle him, how on earth would a dog that narrowly reaches past his ankles react?

"Hey, hey, it's okay," you reassure him, stroking the top of his left hand. "I'll teach you. Here, just put your other hand out so he can sniff you. It's how dogs say hello."

Although he is hesitant to get acquainted with this scruffy menace, his newfound mortal enemy, he doesn't like to go against your wishes. With the utmost caution, he holds the back of his right hand to the dog's snout. It lazily inspects his large fingers, giving them a plentiful sniff before glancing up at him.

"H-he's staring at m-me," he stammers, his distress creeping up again. What exactly does this fiendish hellhound want from him? Can it smell his fear? Is it out for blood?

"He wants you to pet him," you clarify. "Just right on the top of his head, he likes it there."

He envelops your comparatively tiny hand in his own, trying to keep himself grounded. With a deep inhale of preparation, he shakily uses his index finger, middle finger and thumb to lightly scratch the dog's head. It closes its eyes as it enjoys the superpowered head massage, making content little noises to itself.

"That's it! You're doing great!" you encourage him, putting your other hand on top of his left one. Your praise does wonders to his worries, and he begins calming down enough to relinquish your hand from his iron grasp.

"Listen, I'm gonna go get him some dog treats from the kitchen," you say, sliding off the couch. Homelander looks at you like you've just stabbed him through the heart. You're leaving him alone with this… this beast? All by himself?

"Hey, you'll be fine!" you giggle at his expression, patting him on the knee before heading out of the living room. "I'll only be a second! I'll be right back, I promise!"

Now left unattended with his cunning adversary, Homelander does all in his power to keep his mind stable, and to stop enemy from figuring out how uneasy he feels right now. His hands are close to his abs while he fiddles with his thumbs, and he bounces one of his knees in quick succession.

Suddenly, he notices the dog leisurely get up on the couch cushion, and begin plodding closer to him. His whole body freezes in place at the horror of this mutt hopping up on his thighs and making itself a comfortable bed in the soft padding of his suit. Despite the dog only weighing twenty pounds and barely taking up any space in his lap, it feels like a ticking time bomb set to explode at any moment.

When you come back into the living room, you have to choke back a laugh at the sight of Homelander so utterly terrified at the dog laying on him. However, you swiftly turn your emotions to concern when you see him practically hyperventilating. His first time interacting with a dog is moving so fast, he's finding it hard to calm down.

"W-w-what do I do?!?" he panics, his heart pounding out of his chest as he rapidly becomes overwhelmed. He is about ten seconds away from running out to his balcony launch pad and flying far away.

"You don't have to do anything, he just likes you sweet pea!" you try and comfort him as you climb up on the couch, leaving the box of dog treats on the floor. "He trusts you!"

When Homelander shoots you an expression equal parts terrified and confused, you stand up on the cushion to get close to his face. Keeping yourself steady with a hand perched on his shoulder, you start combing your fingers through his undercut. Your touches are the one sure-fire thing to quickly dampen his anxieties. He can't help but lean his big head closer into your palm, craving your affection.

"Dogs aren't like people, they don't judge. And they have a pretty good sense of character," you point out, giving him a little scratch on his scalp. He gives you a little whine in return. "I have a feeling that Murphy knows you aren't as scary as you look. I think he can see what a gentle giant you really are."

Contemplating what you've said, Homelander glances back down at the dog on his lap, just now realizing that it has fallen asleep. This mongrel, what he suspected to be the Brutus to his Caesar, has trusted him enough to guard its dreams, when it's at its most vulnerable.

The only other being to assume their safety to sleep in his presence was… well, you. Because you don't perceive him like all the others around him do. You don't treat him like he's some incredibly powerful and massive monster; you love him for who he really is, for the truth that he hides and keeps buried deep down in his psyche. You love him unconditionally, just like this dog does.

Homelander's rollercoaster of emotions has finally come to a complete stop, letting him see this situation in a different light. Maybe this creature… this dog isn't out to take you away from him after all. If it can accept him without the prejudice he's experienced his whole life, it can't be all bad.

Maybe he can allow it stay with you… under his supervision.

[kavehnanginto]

encounter

04: daddy chill

"Uhm you are [name] right?" you hear the sound of a familiar uninterested (uninteresting) voice approaching you. He dressed laidback, that he was doing this for the 50th time just with a different person.

In truth he wasn't. He studied your scores, mistakes, intelligence and was now sweating bullets. How can a person be so dumb yet don't even try to hide it? It simply blew his mind that you were accepted in such prestigious school.

You didn't have a rich parent, or a charity? For him it was simply magic. As he sat down he thought of assessing your level of intelligence first.

"Do you know what nouns are?" He thought of you THIS low? Maybe you kinda gave that impression to many of your students and for the first time you realize.

Phone in your hand and a pen in the other you respond with ease. This went onto sometime, to the great classics of the past, to argumentative, jargons, idioms it was like your mind created an apocalypse. It felt like you were interrogated by a sexy cop, knowing damn well you're the criminal. Like Daddy chill please I'm dumb.

"I can't do this anymore, my mind is tired." You buried your face in the cold wooden table and then looked to the side and saw him still calculating your expression.

"I expected you to be way dumber, I give you that." He then dropped random candies in your view.

"Eat."

He treated you like a dog, and you liked it. Grinning ear-to-ear, you consumed all of it knowing damn well it was well deserved and even if it felt like Alhaitham watched like you were the sin of gluttony itself. You didn't care.

It was rich people candy.

"I bought that in a nearby convenience store and it was indeed convenient." He took the wrappers and disposed them in the garbage. "But please handle your own waste, I don't like it being unclean and filthy."

You will never listen to that advice let's be honest. And hourse flew by and the tutor session was finally closed. Realization hits when you willingly reviewed eng lit for the first time all because a hot guy gave you candy.

Even if Alhaitham did interrogate you and know you are about to pass out, its okay. The money is rolling and you finally have dinner.

Candy. Lots of it.

"I'll help you with your remidial assignments," he suddenly proposed. "Please don't be absent for our next session."

When the both of you finally exit the library, a final question was said:

"Why did you decide to tutor me?" He stopped at his tracks to look at you, then continued to exit the building.

In the moment where both of you were too distant for communication, his voice stopped you in walking away.

"Why not?"

encounter: prev. masterlist. next

alhaitham x reader smau

synopsis: after alhaitham accepted to tutor his token dumb classmate, the whole school started rumors and gossip to the unknown reason as to why while you were stuck dealing with him after that embarrassing encounter.

taglist: @crowbird @annathea-annoona @aixaingela @mimimimiaphwsgi @no3hg3nshin @winterpein @aloversoath

note: why did i get community label come on this whole smau is just to push my bottom alhaitham agenda

[cryptic-science]

LONG VENT POST. BE WARNED.

i need help. i need help cleaning my room. i do. and ive been so fucking afraid to admit that but i fucking need someone to hold my hand and be gentle with me through the process.

but no, i cant. i cant ask for help, especially not from the person i want help from the most. i cant ask because im not a little kid anymore. i cant have someone hold my hand through everything. thats not how life fucking works. im almost 19. im an adult. i should have the fucking responsibility to keep my bedroom clean.

when was the last time it was actually properly clean ? it must have been what, like, 2018 ? 2019 ? fuck. Fuck. four ? five ? fucking years. almost six, really. jesus christ.

even if she did say yes, even if i could ask her in the first place...you know she wouldnt be gentle. you know she would yell and get annoyed and force you to get rid of things you arent ready to. and youd feel trapped, and scared, and oh so fucking ashamed and guilty. and youd cry and cry and cry and cry. youd sob and youd beg, just like the little girl you are.

she doesnt ask much of you. she never has. you know this. everyone knows this. you never really had to do chores as a kid. not properly anyway. right now, all she wants you to do is get a job and clean your room.

why is this still so hard for you ?she got you what you needed right ? she got you the anti-depressants. she got you the adhd meds. she got you the autism diagnosis. so why are you still like this ? the meds are working, arent they ? why are you still Wrong ? what else could you possibly fucking need ??

all you do is take. and take. and take. you are so fucking selfish. why arent you fixed yet ? why cant you get off your ass and clean your fucking room ? why cant you get off your ass and get a fucking job ? why do you still lack the motivation ?

you are lazy. you are lazy. you are lazy.

how can you live like this ? there is garbage piled next to your bed. there are molding cups on your dresser. there are both carpet and larder beetles squirming through your things.

you have too much shit. you get too attached. maybe you are a hoarder.

you are disgusting. you are filthy.

your hygiene doesnt help either. you changed today but when was the last time those clothes were washed ? when was the last time you showered ? when was the last time you brushed your teeth ? you are vile. you are filth.

she yells because she loves you. she yells because she loves you. she yells because she loves you.

shes been through so fucking much. you know this. everyone knows this. you could have had it so much worse.

she is not the villain. she is human. you realized she was human a long time ago. shes doing her best with what she knows.

would it be easier if you moved out ? you are too scared to do that. maybe, itd be easier to clean your room, though. she doesnt want you to leave either. you know that despite the times shes threatened to kick you out. shes too scared for you to go too. you cant live with her forever. you know this. she does to. shes said that phrase to you many times. you are too scared to leave. you cant handle change. its safe here. youve been here for so long. its familiar. its close to most of the important places you need to go. it took you such a long time to be able to memorize the paths in order to get to them. you cant drive. everything is perfect here. its safe. its safe. its safe.

the pear tree was cut down. it was planted long before you ever lived there. part of you thinks that maybe its a sign. you arent too sure for what, though.

you are trying not to cry. you dont want to cry. especially not right now.

she says she doesnt think you are a disappointment, but how can that be true when all youve done, your whole entire life, is dissapoint her ? you have failed at every expectation and want she had, and still has, for you.

you were born this strange and rotten thing.

but she still loves you.

and you love her too.

you need a job. you should be using this time to look for a job. you are scared. you need to stop putting it off. you need to stop lying whenever she asks if youve been looking. youve applied to a few places but, you only got hired once. and you quit after a day and a half. it was Too Much for you. you were scared and your body hurt and the job was too fast-paced and it was all so fucking overwhelming. so you ran from it. you gave up.

because you are a coward.

you can count on one hand the amount of interviews youve actually gotten.

why is this so hard for you ? why must there be so fucking much wrong with you ?

just do something, please. anything. any job you can get your hands on. you need it.

why arent you doing it ? why ??

you want to be better. you want so fucking badly to be better, in so fucking many ways.

you wish you were better. you wish you were better. you wish you were better. you wish you were better. you wish you were better. you wish you were better. you wish you were better. you wish you were better. you wish you were better. you wish you were better. you wish you were better. you wish you were better. you wish you were better. you wish you were better. you wish you were better. you wish you were better. you wish you were better. you wish you were better.

i want to learn how to be better.

i dont know how to be better.

i dont know where to start.

i dont know.

help.

[debaroohoo]

So I'm buying a house. Like. A whole dang house. As someone who's pretty terrible at being an adult, this process is terrifying. I keep going back and forth between being excited and wondering what the hell I think I'm doing. In an effort (probably in vain) to keep my brain focused on the latter, I'm making a list. All pros, no cons since I don't need that in my life right now.

Hopefully no more very brief power blips at the start of minor storms that like to happen when I'm in the middle of playing a video game. This actually happened earlier and what prompted me to start typing this up as I waited for my internet connection to come back.

No more sharing a wall with a guy who likes to crank up his music for a couple hours each night. Headphones are useless, my brain knows it's there, so it seeks out the annoyance against my wishes.

No more sharing a…floor? with people who like to yell at their barking dog and crying child to shut up.

I'll finally have a bathroom (2 bathrooms!) that hasn't been used by strangers. Removing the sliding shower door and cleaning the questionable crud on the bottom a few years ago nearly made me throw up three times (that is not an exaggeration) and I've never felt truly clean since then.

No more living right next to the county fairgrounds. Hearing cows and sheep and roosters once or twice a year is kinda fun. Concerts so loud that the noise makes my walls and windows shake, not so much.

More room for activities!! And storage. Really looking forward to the storage and having more shelving so I don't have to keep any of my favorite junk hidden away in boxes.

A better kitchen! There are some recipes I haven't tried in a while (or never tried at all) since I don't have enough storage space (see above) to keep various cooking gear on hand.

A GARAGE!!!!!! My poor car hasn't had a roof over it's head for most of its life and I'm tired of how filthy it gets. The headlights have so much built up gunk on them I haven't bothered trying to clean since being outdoors 24/7 means it'd probably get bad again eventually. I'm weirdly looking forward to cleaning those and wonder if there'll be a noticeable difference in the light quality.

No more lugging groceries up the stairs. The garage leads right into the kitchen plus I won't have to shut the back hatch between trips if I can't carry everything in one go since I'm paranoid someone might try something funny in the few seconds my car would be out of my sight. Plus, I won't have to worry about wasps trying to build a nest in the door cracks. ...Hopefully.

Garbage and recycling pick up! I'm mainly happy that I won't have to take my recycling to a drop off center anymore. I tend to let it pile up…

Closer to family! I currently live on the opposite side of town. It's not a long drive to see them, but it'll be nice to be only 2-5 minutes away.

Customizing!!! I know I can technically paint the walls in my apartment if I wanted to, but putting everything back to normal before moving out would be a headache. If I want to go ham and Jackson Pollock up a wall I can do as I damn well please.

I will have a patio! It's small but it's a place to put a chair outside!! I can sit outside and not have to worry about making eye contact with neighbors!!!

Complementary to #13 - I will have a YARD! I can GO TOUCH GRASS. I can get a DOG someday. I'll have to get a fence installed first which won't be cheap, but that's okay because DOG.

The front door is purple. PURPLE. That was actually a paint choice the builder had and I took it. When I give directions to my house I can tell people it's the one with the purple door. No one tell my dad. He would uh...totally approve and I want it to be a surprise. Yeah.

I can mount a TV. Again, I technically could do it in my apartment but I don't really trust the walls to hold up… Anyway, I have a plan to move my consoles and other things currently hooked up on the TV stand to a shelf where I can have better cable management. That means no more cable jungle! Seriously, I wonder if the space behind my TV can be considered a fire hazard.

I think that's all I've got for now? I'll probably think of more to add to the list, but that covers most of it. If you read all that…what the hell man, I appreciate it but I know you've got better things to do with your time.

[piduai]

I'm going on vacation to Japan next March (a bit too early for cherry blossoms tho) and i'm curious if you have recs for any pretty/cool places to visit outside of the regular tourist traps? Preferably stuff that's not too hard to reach from Tokyo. Nw if not 🙏

you might yet catch the blossoms tbh, they keep blooming earlier and earlier each year so if it's late march when you come here there's a chance. otherwise if you go down to kansai you could catch them there, if not plums were definitely already in bloom by like late february near the imperial palace in kyoto. in case you go to kyoto my go-to is fushimi inari, it's definitely on the touristy side but i love that place it's very nice. in tokyo the same could be said about asakusa, street full of overpriced bad quality garbage and tourists but i still love it for some reason, the view is nice, the reds are beautiful. otherwise it really depends on what you like?? if you hate crowds i'd say stray away from shibuya and harajuku, but if you don't mind them and like shopping and alternative fashion go to harajuku it's full of so much stuff. to buy. consoomer heaven. meiji jingu is right next to it and it's a nice place, it's a big forest-park good for a walk and there's. well. a shrine. but you saw one shrine you saw all of them (applies to any metropolitan too). likeee if you like drinking and going out it's shinjuku, if you like clubs it's roppongi, if you like weeb shit it's akihabara or ikebukuro, reaaaaally depends on your personal tastes! there's tons of museums, exhibitions, themed cafes... maybe go to a snake or owl cafe? since cat cafes seem to be a thing in other countries too. regardless though if you can spare the money i'd suggest going to hakone or other onsen spots, ryokan stays are always nice and so are hot springs ♨️. personally i found kamakura boring and uninspiring af so would say to not listen to the guides that keep telling you to go to its filthy beaches. and enoshima is just a patch of land with a bunch of stores on it not recommend 👎 tokyo skytree is a waste of time and money too. however mt fuji is nice, honestly mountains and forests and nature and the ocean are all so gorgeous but the catch is that they're far from the concrete jungles 😔anyway i hope you have a nice trip!!! stand on the left side of the escalator and walk on the left side of the street (in tokyo), do not talk on the phone on the train (ever), do not litter, do not be loud, do not throw your garbage into the trash cans next to vending machines (they're for bottles) (there's no trash cans for your garbage. either find a convenience store that has them or take it to your hotel room). exchange your money at the airport and don't tip anyone. nobody actually gives a fuck about how you eat tbh. have fun!!

[xaracosmia]

ꕥ — WELCOME TO NEFE COSMIA, AINCHASE ISHMAEL. 🌓

ꕥ  — OOC INFORMATION;

name / alias: Revvington age: 23 pronouns: no ooc contact: @architectureteam, tumblr other characters in xc: Noah Ebalon (Nyx Pieta)

ꕥ  — IC INFORMATION;

name: Ainchase Ishmael (Opferung) age: ??? (adult, looks early 20s) pronouns: any series: Elsword canon point: Monaterra app triggers: religion & religious trauma? this app is surprisingly tame personality: The very first thing you may notice about Ainchase is just how cruel he is. He has next to no respect for human life - why would he, when humans have been nothing but disgusting filth? He's not the type to torment people for fun or to go out of his way just to harm others; he simply feels absolutely no desire to help anyone, any kind acts he might do being fueled by purely selfish motivation. Anything he does matters only to him. Anyone else? They can rot. He cares little. Don't trust him to watch your back - he'll abandon you, or even actively stab you in the back, if he finds he can gain from doing so.

The second thing you would notice is how lofty and superior he thinks himself compared to everyone else. As an angel, he lives on a plane of existence above all others - both figuratively and literally. He is not shy on how he considers humans and other sapient beings to be like the garbage on the streets, and how he is a divine creature worthy of respect, something everyone else has to humble themselves in front of. Yet… he also hates himself deep, deep to his core. Yes, he is an angel, yes, he is better than most, it is not a front - but he is an angel who failed his mission, the one thing he was created to do. He is an angel who became corrupted by demonic energy. That's right - him, an angel, a holy, pure being, tainted by demons, worthless, repulsive things that need to be eradicated… He is a worthless, filthy sinner whose prolonged existence is a punishment. He was created for one singular purpose, failed, and promptly felt abandoned by his Goddess, left to fumble around in the dark all on his own after his path was torn astray. That one singular purpose of his - to live and serve Her - taken away from him, it's left him feeling lost and hopeless. Nothing is left for him. His cruelty and his excessive violence is a desperate cry for help, a last-ditch attempt to reach his Goddess and be put back on the right path. He is a broken tool, desperate for guidance, acting out in fear and contempt in the hopes it'll end his suffering. It doesn't matter what happens to him after. With each passing second, every action he takes, his sins grow worse and worse, but he does not care. She is all he knows. She is all that matters to him. He'll do whatever it takes to hear from Her. Once–(if, but he refuses to accept that) She finally acknowledges him… he'll take whatever punishment he deserves.

something your muse struggles with: Ainchase is incapable of reasonably existing autonomously. He is not a person - he is nothing more than a tool to be used, and much to his dismay, he has been discarded and left behind all on his own. In his current state, he simply cannot properly function without his Goddess' guidance, as demonstrated by the absolutely broken state his rampant emotions have spiraled him into. your muse’s greatest strength: He is nothing if not determined and headstrong. He has one singular overarching goal, and he will stop at nothing to reach this. It is impossible to convince him otherwise or stop him in any way. The same applies to any smaller goals he might set his mind to - he will do anything it takes to achieve what he wants, no matter what it does to him or anyone else.

history / background: Elrios. A land kept alive by the Great El, a gift from the goddess Ishmael. A massive crystal of life-giving energy, taming the destructive, wild chaos that Elrios was born out of, making its lands finally inhabitable by the many different peoples that came to live on it. No good thing is to last, however - after disastrous wars and misuse of the energy of the El, it grew viciously unstable. It took many lives to keep it from collapsing, but even now it remains unstable and needs constant tending to stay whole. That is where Ainchase Ishmael came in. An angel created by Ishmael, his sole purpose was to feed his energy to the El, to hopefully stabilize it for good. … unfortunately, things weren't going to be so easy.

He arrived too late. He descended down from heaven and arrived in the city where the El was kept, but before he was able to approach, the El exploded in front of him. This explosion tore apart the fabric of reality, creating interdimensional rifts that lead to the endless chaos between existence. He was promptly sucked in through one of these rifts, before it closed behind him, trapping him inside.

Within, he wandered into the god Henir, the very core of the endless chaos itself. This god's very presence was enough to irreversibly taint and corrupt his being, marking the skin around his right eye. Then he was abandoned, left there to wander the void for five hundred years before finally finding a trace of El energy - a lifeline. He followed it until he stumbled onto another rift leading outside, and finally managed to escape chaos, arriving back in Elrios.

When the El exploded, it was scattered into countless tiny shards. These shards were powerful enough to make the surrounding areas inhabitable, and villages were built around them. He arrived in one of these villages, near a teen who was trying to protect the shard from a demon… which then got stolen by a bunch of bandits while he wasn't looking, of course. Ain couldn't tell if the El energy he felt came from the El shard or the teen, so instead of leaving to chase the bandits he decided to stick around for now, under the guise of being a priestess of the goddess Ishmael. This is how his little adventure as part of the El Search Party started.

During his travels, Ain learned that his contact with the goddess Ishmael had been cut off. He had called out for her many times, but she never answered. This worried him immensely. His worry, coupled with the guilt of having failed the mission he was created for, caused his hatred towards humans to start growing. Humans, despite having already caused the El to explode through their misuse, kept abusing the El's power and using it carelessly, even now that it was in tiny shards. The thought of this filled him with disgust, even though he knew there was nothing he could do. The El was the gift of the Goddess given to humans, so it was theirs to do with as they pleased.

This anxiety of his started physically wearing away at his body, likely as a result of the corruption he sustained within chaos. He knew he couldn't go on much longer like this. To combat this, he took some of the latent El energy in the environment and recycled it back within his body to sustain himself whilst he fought off the corruption. Quietly he carried on, hoping he could finally get the chance to reach out to Ishmael.

This chance never came. His anxiety started to build up as no matter what, he could just not reach her. He started fearing the worst - what if she had forgotten about him? Or worse, abandoned him? He tried to swallow it down - he can't let his anxiety get the better of him now.

His efforts didn't matter. When he arrived in Feita, he found an El shard that had been utterly corrupted with demonic energy. Absolutely panicked, he rushed over to try to purify it, but stupidly left himself open to the demonic energy… which seeped in through his corruption. Before he could tell what happened, the demonic energy started twisting his magic, corrupting it as well.

Fury overtook him. Not only did these humans shatter the El they were given, they then proceeded to further desecrate its shards with no remorse. The Goddess may have given them this blessing, but these foolish, ungrateful beings did not deserve it at all.

His unstable emotions, having started festering because of his increasing corruption, lead him to make a grave decision. If the El is left as is, it will only get worse. His mission was to return energy to the El. To do so, the destroyed El must first be restored. However, he cannot leave it to the same humans who destroyed it. It has to be protected, and he has to do it. He has to return the scattered energy to the El… so he left the El Search Party, traveling on his own in order to reclaim the El energy from those awful humans using it for their own ends.

His power and his body slowly corrupted further as he continued on, eating away at him like acid. He was unaware of the way his corruption was starting to take root deep inside and rending apart his very core.

At the end, the El was restored, even though he hadn't been the one to do it. Not that he minded - it was one step closer to his goal. Now all he needed to do was to sacrifice himself to the El, giving it his power and finally stabilizing it… but when he reached out to become one with him, an instinctive repulsion pulled him away from it, something deep within him screaming that he shouldn't merge with it. This confused him at first, but he soon realized why; he was corrupted by demonic energy and steeped within chaos. He was no longer a pure being formed entirely of the El. Something like him could never fully restore the El.

In an instant, everything he had hoped for collapsed. He had hoped if he just fulfilled his mission like he was supposed to, everything would work itself out. He wasn't meant to make decisions on his own. Confused and more desperate than ever, he called out for the Goddess to help. He would take anything. Guidance on what to do next, punishment for failing, or to be destroyed and replaced… anything.

Yet all he got was that same, horrifying silence.

He couldn't understand. Everything kept building up, things he was never meant to deal with… he started growing resentful of the Goddess. One last time, he cried out in prayer, bearing all of his emotions to Her. Humans were foolish creatures that shattered the El and spat all over Her gift - then why did She give them Her mercy, but not him, Her faithful servant, the one who has been dutifully serving Her this entire time? Why did they deserve it, but not him? How could She stay silent, watching him like this? Unless She really, truly had abandoned him…

…

He could take this no longer. Driven beyond exhaustion, Ainchase gave up trying to reach out to Her. But he had to hear from Her. He wanted an answer. Any answer. And if he couldn't reach Her, then he'll just get Her to come to him.

Even if he has to destroy the Goddess' beloved Elrios. If he can reach Her… it'll be worth any sin.

powers / abilities: Intervention. Ainchase is a divine being, whose presence was supposed to be ephemeral. This is reflected in his Intervention. Ainchase has to will himself into the physical world, using the power of his pendulum, before he can interact with the world - in order to "intervene". Whenever he is not intervening, he disappears from everyone’s memory like he never existed, resting on a different level of existence, and when he intervenes again, memories are restored once again as if he's been there the entire time. Thus he has lived a life of constantly shifting in and out of reality, intervening in order to impose his will on the world, and disappearing again to regain his power and strength. Note that his pendulum is required for this, and if he has broken it, he cannot stop or start intervening until it has recovered.

Disparate Force. A harmony of two types of magic, unique to him. Ainchase can freely switch between either to focus his attention on a very specific power and shift his style of combat accordingly.

Cycle Magic. The magic granted upon him through the power of his own name. Ainchase’s Cycle Magic lets him manipulate the El energy around him to boost his own inner potential. This magic leads to a more magically oriented fighting style where he uses the magic of the El to fight his foes at range.

Creation Magic. The magic granted upon him by the Goddess Ishmael. Ainchase’s Creation Magic lets him create projections of all sorts of objects, though he mostly uses it to create various weapons to do combat with. This magic leads to a more physically oriented fighting style where he gets down and dirty up close with his very own arsenal of weapons. Thanks to the influence of demonic energy, both styles of magic have mutated into a rawer, more forceful form of themselves. It has become wilder, more powerful and harder to control. His untamed, corrupted magics are capable of tearing apart the fabric of reality and everything caught in-between - even being on his side doesn't mean you're safe.

Spiritualism. Once his pendulum has been broken, Ainchase can drop his human appearance and channel into the full power of his angelic heritage through a process called Awakening. His appearance drastically changes as he assumes his ‘true form’, causing him to radiate light, gain flight and a powerful echo to his voice, but most importantly, vastly increase his combative potential. This is also a button that causes neon signs to float around him loudly declaring that he is non-human and of divine origin, but, hey, it's not like he was really hiding it anymore.

inherent abilities: Energy sensing. Being an angel, Ainchase's natural ability to sense all sorts of types of magical energy emanated by people is vastly superior to that of normal people in his universe. He can feel the energy in a large radius around him, allowing him to 'feel' people and magical things even when he cannot see them - like a sort of blindsense. He is mostly attuned to sensing different kinds of El energy and derivatives of it (like elemental El energy or Henir energy), and demonic energy. This means that, for example, he can tell if a person is attuned to a specific element, if they're part of the Elsword universe, and if they are a demon or not. He could learn to sort of identify people by the energy they emit, but that would take a long time - perhaps a possibility for those he spends a lot of time around.

items / weapons: Pendulum. The pendulum that Ainchase carries with him wherever he goes - the very source of his strength and something he keeps on him at all times. The radiance within the center of his pendulum glows with a harsh light, and is a reminder of his origin. Working as an anchor and a limiter, in order to access the limits of his power, he has to shatter and destroy his pendulum with his magic. This slowly repairs itself over time - he can delay this repair, but not speed it up. This unleashed power can then be further increased to its absolute limit when accessing his Spiritualism form.

starting ability: Disparate Force starting item: Pendulum

would you like this character to be housed upon arrival?: no :3

extra:

discord id: entmachtung

[ase-trollplays]

26. Forgotten - Taki

The path to the abandoned forest hive somehow felt longer than she remembered from her youth. It had been so long since she'd last visited the spot that she could barely remember the way. However, despite getting briefly lost, she found her old hive somehow still standing despite eighteen sweeps having past. Nature had long reclaimed her former home as grass grew uninhibited and untamed and moss and vines stretched upwards along the outer walls.

"It's been so long. Do you still remember me, old friend?" Takimi asked wistfully as she approached and ran a gentle hand along a patch of soft moss, some of which attached to her skin and was removed from the structure when she retracted her hand. She was unbothered and wiped her hand on a relatively clean patch of wall to return the flora to its home.

She walked around the hive and noted the places she would sit outside and draw, the spot her former lusus, Bearmom, would lay and allow her to rest against her plush, furry body. How was the old girl faring, she wondered. Whoever her new ward is was lucky to have her, and she lamented briefly that she was such an unpalatable charge due to her cursed sight that-- No, no, her sight is a gift. She shook her head to rid herself of such blasphemous thoughts. One of the messiahs' chosen should never criticize or show ingratitude for the power they've been granted.

Becoming bored with taking in the exterior of her old home, she took a breath and stepped through the entrance. She had to duck as her younger self hadn't considered just how tall she would be in adulthood. Takimi looked around and was almost overwhelmed with nostalgia. Her belongings and furniture were long gone, likely stolen, but she could remember with crystal clarity how the room once looked. The couch against the left wall, the large shag carper purple rug that occupied nearly the entire floor, the mirror above the small bookcase on the right wall, th--

A stack of discarded food containers sat in the corner of her old kitchen. She supposed she shouldn't be surprised that squatters had settled into her old hive at some point. However, she found herself annoyed that someone left garbage within her former childhood home, however briefly she occupied it. Looking around a bit more, she sighed when there was no trash can or even a trash bag in sight. Had that been stolen as well?

Irritation aside, she decided to make her way up the staircase to the upper floor. Just like with downstairs, dust swirled in the air as the moonlight shone through the cloudy windows. The bathroom door was conspicuously closed, but she didn't consider that worth investigating. A bathroom is a bathroom is a bathroom. It wouldn't be worth her time to open the door and look inside just to stare at an old toilet and a sink.

The real treasure was her former bedroom. She peeked inside the open door and sighed with nostalgia as she entered. Her recuperacoon was still there, though the slime had long since expired and dried up into a hardened crust along the inside. Takimi strode toward the closet and gingerly pulled the door open. To her shock, she was greeted not by an empty room but a small crossbow bolt grazing her shoulder. She gasped followed by a sharp hiss as she looked down at her now bleeding shoulder, then back to the troll who fired it.

There was an armadillo plushie under one of the girl's arms while in her other hand was the spent crossbow. Next to her was a small pile of three more bolts.

"G-get away! I found this place fair and square! You can't kick me out!" she shouted defensively. She couldn't be a perigee over three sweeps, and she was absolutely filthy as though she'd been living off the land for weeks. Takimi couldn't tell the child's blood color, but she assumed her to be a lower caste judging by her fear of her.

"Worry not, young one. I am not here for you. This was once my wrigglerhood hive," Takimi told her with a small smile as she ignored the pain in her injured shoulder. The child didn't relax in the slightest and instead briefly glanced at the bolts on the ground next to her debating whether it would be worth it to take her eyes off the much taller and older woman to reload.

"I... I don't believe you. A highblood like you killed my mom. Did he send you to kill me to?!" she accused and quickly grabbed a bolt off the ground and clumsily reloaded the crossbow while trying to keep her eyes glued to Takimi. Takimi's gaze turned to the stuffed animal in the child's arms; it was probably meant to mimic her lusus.

Still smiling, Takimi stepped back to give the girl some space and hopefully appear less threatening. "I understnad the loss of a lusus all too well, though I was abandoned by mine. I truly sympathize with being all alone so young. May my former home serve you well, young one, and may the messiahs see fit to offer you one of their blessings."

"Just GO AWAY!!!" the girl screamed and aimed the crossbow threateningly at her. With a small nod, Takimi waved at her and backed out of the room lest she be shot in the back and closed the door.

She may have long forgotten her old hive, but it was now home to someone new. She could live with that.

[lustfuls]

edge

𝐩𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠: steve rogers x f!reader

𝐬𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲: what could possibly be more hotter than a heated argument with steve?

𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: 18+ smut, dumbification, daddy kink, oral sex m!receiving, degradation, edging, boot riding 😵‍💫

𝐰𝐜: 1.4k

𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐞: debuting my smut writing career with this filthy garbage fire of a fic written at 2 am on a tuesday. enjoy bubbas <3

“what the fuck did i just tell you?” steve’s hand flew on your shoulder, forcing you to turn and face him for the first time after ignoring him throughout the whole ride. the unbothered expression painted onto your face only added more fuel to his burning fire.

“i told you to stay in cover, that was an order.” his teeth visibly gritted. as if that wasn’t enough, you decided to push his buttons even further. steve is toughly composed in nature, but you somehow have an effect on him that makes him so easily worked up.

“well, it was a shit order because you would’ve gotten killed.” you shot back, maintaining your nonchalance even though you could sense your patience wearing thin.

“listen, i don’t need you to take a bullet for me.” steve growled, his tall stature was menacing on its own and with his anger which is a side of him you rarely get to see continuously building up, it made you feel like a meek prey about to be devoured.

“you think i can’t handle it. you think i’m weak. is it why you think i always need to be protected by you? do me a favor and get your head out of your ass for fucking once, steve!” your voice raised higher than you intended, the sudden boost of ego that washed over you refused to let him see you cower and break. his face remained stern, his breathing was hot on your skin and poor little you had successfully flicked steve rogers’ switch.

“apologize to daddy now.” his tone was deep and commanding. apologize or i’ll give you another thing to regret. “make me.” your eyes narrowed, shooting fatal daggers at the super soldier in another attempt to strike his match, then combust. but you’ve already dived into the hot water deep enough and steve was not letting you swim back up.

“goddamn right, i’ll make you. get on your knees, brat.” steve spat. your breath hitched once your knees involuntarily met the cold floor on a whim, pupils dilating at the abrupt rush of adrenaline that coursed through your system. steve finds it cute how he makes you fucking mindless and controllable in just a matter of seconds. he always had this type of hold on you and he’s going to take advantage of that power whenever he can.

he took his time unbuckling his belt in a purposeful manner to taunt you. steve knew exactly what you wanted, but he planned to keep the bait out of your reach until you prove yourself well that you’re his good little bunny.

your mouth drooled, enduring the false anticipation steve had lured you into. your pleading eyes watched him discard the belt and he could only laugh at the desperate sight before him. “you’re only compliant when you know you’re getting my dick, aren’t you? too bad you have to earn it.”

what happened next felt like a sucker punch to the face as it left you in an unmoving dazed state. steve lifted his foot and inserted it between your thighs to separate them. “spread them apart for daddy.” and just like magic, your limbs distanced from each other so that you were in a straddling position above his combat boot.

“want my cock, bunny? ride my boot first. prove to daddy how much of a cockslut you are. maybe then i’ll give my cock to you.” he tapped his shoe against the floor urging you to start.

“go on, don’t make daddy wait.”

the way you immediately obliged just goes to show how far gone you are for him. you began grinding against steve’s boot, mindlessly, eagerly rubbing your clothed clit against the rough material. “mmhm, fuck!” you moaned at the delicious sensation of the hard leather being chased by your frantic movements.

“jesus christ, you’re making a mess, bunny.” steve chuckled at the glistening slick of your arousal coating his boot’s forefoot. “beg for daddy’s cock, bunny. wanna hear your stupid whiny voice beg for my cock.”

“p-pl-plea-“ you whimpered, unable to fully muster any words. your brain was too fogged up for coherent thoughts and you could only focus on getting off on steve’s foot.

“aww, my dumb baby is too cockthirsty to speak. do i need to fuck some sense back into you?” steve mockingly cooed, brushing the stray hairs out of your face to see your flushed cheeks and uncontrolled whimpering.

“y-yes.” you nodded, your knees buckled and began to shake at your climax approaching, you quickly latched onto steve’s leg for support from your breaking balance. “‘m g-gonna cum.” you sighed breathlessly, rocking your hips harder for stimulation.

before the tightening coil in your stomach could snap, steve mercilessly retreated his foot back making your pussy throb at the sudden loss of contact. “d-daddy, i n-need-“

“need to cum? not so fast, bunny. after that misbehavior you pulled it’s only fair that daddy deserves to feel your cum around his cock.” steve undid his pants, letting the fabric fall down to the ground with a harsh thud and his tremendously huge hard cock sprung out freely. “gonna put that bratty mouth to good use first,” steve cupped your jaw and aligned your lips to his cock with precision. “open wide, bunny.”

“such a fuckin’ whore, taking daddy’s big cock so well. that’s it, you love it when i use your mouth as my personal fucktoy.” hearing steve’s guttural groans was almost enough to regain your climax. he contined to thrust deep into your mouth, his tip touching the back of your throat reduced you into a pathetic gagging mess. “mhmm…” your muffled moans vibrated through his length, pushing him further to his high.

“be a good little bunny and swallow daddy’s cum, then i’ll give you your reward.” his calloused thumb gently wiped the tears rolling under your eyes, a beautiful irony. his affectionate gesture was a contrast to the lewdness you were both indulging yourselves into.

it didn’t take long until steve’s warm seed gushed out and landed on your tongue. “good fucking girl. so deserving of my cock now.” he praised after you showed him your empty mouth as proof. all it took was for steve to pat your head and stroke your dampened hair to make you swear a silent oath that you’ll always be a good girl for him starting then. “t-thank you, daddy.” you grinned proudly.

“lay down, bunny. let daddy take care of that sweet little cunt of yours, i can tell it’s begging for my attention.” he drove your body forward, until your bare back rested on the floor. his fingers glided against your wet folds, circling your sensitive bud earning a response from your hips bucking forward in urgency.

“so fucking sensitive, poor baby’s been holding back all this time, huh?”

“y-yes, daddy. n-need you to- fuck my tight cunt so bad, please, p-please, i’m all yours, daddy, please, fuck.” you blabbered under his teasing touch, unable to contain yourself anymore. after what it felt like years, steve shoved his cock right where it needs to be. the obscenely wet sounds of his cock pounding your pussy echoed the room and filled your ears like music.

“fuck bunny, your pussy feels so good.” steve hoisted your leg up and draped it on his shoulder, positioning you to an angle where he can fill you up at the right places and deliciously hit your g-spot.

“a-agh daddy, i’m so close!” you sucked a harsh breath when you felt your walls started to clench. “let loose, bunny. cum on daddy’s cock.” you rammed your pulsating pussy against him until your vision went hazy at your release. warmth inside your hole soon followed, as steve pumped the remaining of his fluids with his final thrusts.

relief bounced on your heaving chest and your eyes fluttered shut at your immense weariness. “c’mon, let’s get you cleaned up.” steve placed a soft kiss on your forehead, making you hum in delight.

steve, with his strong arms, carried your slumped body towards the bathroom. “i’m sorry for acting like a bitch. i didn’t mean to yell at you, stevie.”

“i could get use to it. just don’t do anything stupid like trying to take a bullet for me again, i have a shield for a reason. plus, you almost scared an old man to his death.” he joked.

“sure thing, grandpa.” did steve rogers just encouraged you to act like a bitch? you bet he did.

[userwasredacted]

aRinz!! Nows my time. I want to see your thoughts about Yandere Sanji but with a man. I feel like its a whole different situation bc of his internalized homophobia he has going on.

ooo man Sanjiii

Hmm... I have read fanfiction of him but I havent really delved into him myself but here I goooo

hope you enjoy

Sanji knew his worth. He knew his value and his values as a chef, to never use his hands to injure, only to give nourishment. To never turn away from a starving person. To respect every ingredient when you use them as they do you the favour of nourishing the body. He knew his value as a fighter and protector. He knew how much his body can handle when it comes to injuries. He knew how to control every muscles in his legs so that his strikes would be true. He knew how to maneuver so that he could fly to where he needed to be. He also knew his value when it came to women. How could he not when they were absolute perfection? From their beautiful soft features to their fine curves and the supple skin. From their voices to their smiles to their demeanor. Women were perfection, and men? Men were ugly disgusting brutes.

Of course they were! Look at all the villains in the world! Crocodile was a Man. Doflamingo was a man. His Father, his brothers, detestable in all ways. They were men. Men were the bane of existence, there only to ensure that the women would be always at the top.

Men were absolute trash. They are unthinking brutes. Violent. Savage. They aim to hurt. That was the why he needed to watch the men around him carefully. That was the only reason why he needed to emphasize putting attention to them when he could be putting all his attention on women. And that man in particular... he made Sanji's skin shiver. There was something about him that screamed to be seen. That he was dangerous. A glint in his eye. Something about the way he moved. The way he sat. The way he would drink his water.

He was disgusting. Sanji made sure to keep a good eye out on him. he just didnt trust him! He was definitely up to no good, and it left a burning sensation in his stomach when he thought about him. Night after night, that man and and his threatening presence haunted him. He needed to protect the women... the world from such a monster. And he was a monster, Sanji was sure of it. Him and his suspicious eyes as he stared or didnt stare at the bodies of perfection when ladies walked past. Him and his filthy hands when he tries to high five any of his nakama. Him and his fake friendly smile that was trying to make himself seem innocent, like how a venus fly trap lures its prey to trust them before snapping its jaws and devouring them whole. Just like how those tainted hands were reaching for- SLAM

"Aaah! Sanji, what the hell?" "Nami-swaaaan~ I made you some refreshing tea just the way you like it!" "Gaaaah! Sanji! You messed up the wood again!" "Shishishishi, Its okay Franky can make Sunny all better again!" The crew started up their usual banter. From the corner of his eye, Sanji kept an eye on the garbage that they were forced to have for company as he apologised to Nami for breaking the boards and showered her with love.

That's right. Show me that frown you piece of shit. You dared think that you could touch Nami. You dare think that you could touch anyone in this ship. You dare come on this ship in the first place. He would make sure that man would never get the chance to settle in. Never be able to connect with his Nakama. Never be able to be part of the group. He didn't deserve it. He had already asked Frankie for a room of his own. Sound proof. Private.

The next port would be coming soon. He can just make it so that the crew would think he would be leaving them. He would cook a big great feast and having something extremely special for him especially. He would protect his family from threats. After all, Sanji knew his worth. And this man was worth nothing at all.

[hinatastinygiant]

Chapter Seven

Why They Stripped

Pairing: Kuroo x Fem!Reader

previous | next | getaway car

"Y/N?"

"Yeah?" you hum as you roll your head to the side to look at him.

"It's after hours, we can just strip."

You think about it for a moment to make him sit in anticipation until finally shrugging and agreeing. "Okay, sure."

"Seriously? You're actually down for that? Even though you're so uptight and stubborn?"

"Do you want me to change my mind?" you scoff. "Don't ruin it."

"Alright, I won't," he grins. "I just wasn't expecting you to actually say yes."

You shrug as you give him your explaination. "I've got no reason to say no."

You then sit up and sit down on the ground before the minifridge. You open it up without much hope, but your eyes light up as you see it's actually filled with small alcohol nips. What kinda hotel did this asshole bring you to?

You grab all of the small bottles in your arms and toss half of them over in Kuroo's direction. If ever there's been a night to drink it's this one. You then smile a big smile Kuroo's way as you stand up. With your hand on his wrist you beam, "Come on, let's go for a walk!"

Together, the two of you walk out of the room and through the motel laughing and chugging the small drinks, tossing them in nearby garbage cans as you pass. You have a genuinely great time for which you're thankful. Kuroo's not acting like a jerk or being moody anymore and your smile hasn't faded in the past ten minutes.

Eventually, you make your way to the pool. You smile when you see it and gasp. Kuroo grins back at you and the two of you race right over, already drunk. He opens the gate and you both rush across the enclosed area.

You place down two unopened nips by the pool and strip yourself of your jeans and shirt. Kuroo smirks his signature smirk that'd probably piss you off if you weren't intoxicated. As for right now, he doesn't look half bad. But that thought alone is enough to make you quickly strip down to your entirety and jump right into the pool. You're not too messed up to foolishly expose yourself for no reason. Besides, after that thought you definitely need to clear your head with a swim.

But to Kuroo, he witnessed something completely different. He just watched you strip down so fast it left his head spinning. He wasn't expecting you'd strip at all, yet do it so anxiously. And as you jump into the pool, he's quite glad that it's too dark for you to see the astonished and somewhat flustered expression on his face.

Once he's collected himself, he chugs the rest of his opened drink and strips down to splash in right beside you. As he does, you find yourself suddenly realizing the situation you've got yourself into. You dunk yourself right under the water and swim towards the edge where you left the unopened drinks. Tossing one over to Kuroo, you flip off the cap and hold out the bottle to say "Cheers!" before downing it in its entirety.

For awhile, the two of you laugh, drink, and have a great time in the dark pool. You're surprised that nobody heard or complained about the splashing and laughing, but you aren't going to complain. You're enjoying your time with Kuroo for the first time all day and you're beginning to realize he's actually fun to be around.

"Hey," he calls after you pick your head up from under the water, "you ever think it'd be nice to be filthy rich?"

"What kinda question is that?" you laugh. "Only, like, every day of my whole life!"

"Right," he nods. "I was just wondering 'cause my whole life's dictated by what money can or can't buy me."

"Why are you being so philosophical right now?" you giggle. "Besides, not your whole life is dictated by money. Money had nothing to do with you coming out to the pool with me tonight."

Kuroo swims in place for a moment as he takes into consideration what you just said. But in the end, he doesn't wind up saying anything in response at all.

"Come on, lighten up," you smile idiotically as you swim towards him. You wrap your arms around his neck and pull yourself close, completely forgetting that you're one hundred percent naked in front of an equally unclothed stranger. "God, I would have for sure gone to jail if it weren't for you..."

You then put your head down on his shoulder as you unknowingly press your body against his. "Yeah, good thing I got away in time," he hums as his hands hesitantly wrap around your back.

You nod and the two of you share a quiet smile. You stand beside him for a moment, sinking in the comfortable silence before you pick your head up and lock eyes with him.

"Ya know, you nearly scared me to death when you started up the car."

Kuroo grins at your comment. "Like I said, I wasn't expecting to see a pretty girl like you back there so it was a surprise to me, too."

"Hm, well, I'm kinda glad I decided to shoplift now," you tease.

"I can't say I disagree," he mumbles, and as he does, you catch him gazing down at your smile that fades as you begin to realize the position you've put yourself in.

You knit your eyebrows together as you wonder if this is wrong. You don't even know if this guy's got a girlfriend or a partner or maybe even a spouse! You can't just go around kissing him without asking about that first!

However, as your thoughts begin to pull you away from the situation around you, Kuroo cuts you short and is the one who leans down to quickly kiss you before you can ruin it. 

Taglist: @soranihimawari

previous | next | getaway car

[lrissa]

I’m right here

summary: levi and you have grown close in the underground, but when you’re forced to join the Survey Corps and attend your first expedition it all goes south

warnings: vomiting, angst, fluff, all of levi’s ova

this one is long, apologies.

✧ ೃ༄*ੈ✩

Levi, Isabel, Farlan and you flew through the air with the Military Police hot on your tail. Recently you were given information on a secret mission, to kill Erwin Smith.

Happiness tingled in every bone of your body, it was close to the time for you to go to the surface with Levi, to experience the sun together.

“The military police again? Haven’t learnt their lesson have they?” Isabel remarked with a cocky tone, peering back at our pursuers.

“Levi-bro! What I just said was cool, right?” She grinned widely and you smiled at her, already knowing Levi’s answer.

“Are you an idiot?” The raven head answered, Isabels face turned into a frown and she rolled her eyes.

Levi took off with his ODM and spun around before latching his grapples onto a wall, perched there for a moment while the attackers followed him as he jumped off, spinning backwards and joining us again.

“Show off.” You retorted as Levi stayed silent.

“Those movements, they’re not Military Police!” Farlan commented as he stared back at the enemies

“No mistake, its them,” Levi broke through, keeping his eyesight strained forwards “That Wings of Freedom crest.. It’s the Survey Corps.”

You stared wide eyed then looked past your shoulder at them.

“Heh, as people who battle titans they’re as different as expected.” Farlan lightly joked

“You guys... You know, right?” Levi inquired.

“It’s the job, right” You answered, hair whipping behind you as you flew forwards.

Instantly you all released your ODM’s and shot them off in separate directions, splitting up.

Gazing back you examined as one followed you, narrowing your eyes you fixated your eyes straight.

‘Show me how good you really are’ You thought.

Nearing a tunnel you shot your ODM inside, spinning into a ball to gain quicker on it, flattening out once inside.

Exiting the tunnel you noticed someone above you, eyes widening you shot forwards, releasing your gas excessively. Letting one grapple go you swung around on the one, watching as your pursuer anticipatied this they unsheathed their blades and went to strike you, dodging barely you fell back into a crate full of food.

Tumbling backwards you grunted, glaring as he ran after your fleeting figure. Finally gaining ground you straighten up until being thrown onto the floor again by a man.

You yelled and flipped eachother over, throwing punches at the mans face while another hooded figure came from the side. Throwing you off the man as you slid across the floor

Jumping up you gained your ground and pulled out a small dagger whilst they wielded their long blades.

One threw their blade at your knife, unsuspecting this it succeeded and they ran at you. Eyes widening as they kicked down one of your legs, landing painfully onto the hard stone.

Placing your hands behind your back they cuffed you and hoisted you up, struggling against their grip.

“You think you’re so strong.. Well fuck off” You sneered as they smacked the back of your head, furrowing your brows at the surprise.

Levi soon came into view with a blonde man holding a blade to him, anger spiked through every nerve in your body. With your futile attempts to get out the grasp of the handcuffs your wrists began to become red with irritation.

Levi’s eyes locked with yours and his eyes narrowed, the blonde man muttering things to Levi before he opened his palm to release his dagger.

“Levi!” You yelled and tried to break free of your captor.

Levi took steps back as a new Survey Corps came up behind him and placed the handcuffs on him.

Bringing us over they lined us up and made us go on our knees, staring at the ground your hair hung over your eyes.

Levi was to the left of you, turning your head you peered at him, there was a distant look in his eyes as he hyper fixated on the ground beneath him. You frowned and returned your gaze back to the floor.

“I’ll ask a few questions.” The blonde one asserted infront of you all “Where did you get this?”

There was silence as we all kept our mouth shut, why would we fucking tell you, idiot.

“You guys are skilled with 3D Maneuver Gear. Who taught you all that?” The man questioned again.

He walked towards Levi, stopping infront of him. “You’re their leader, right?” he persists “Were you in the Military?”

Suddenly a man grabs the back of Levi’s head, his fists knotting in his hair as he slammed his head into a puddle of mud.

Your head shot up immediately “Let him go!” You yelled and struggled against your cuffs, your gaze deathly as you glared at the man holding Levi.

“I’ll ask one more time. Where did you learn to use 3D Maneuver Gear?”

Your face was in a large scowl as your eyes were trained on the man restraining Levi, if looks could kill he’d be doubled over.

“We learned it by ourselves!” Farlan shouted

“Self taught you say? No.”

“It’s just so we can rise even a bit in this dirty garbage place!” Farlan persisted, shouting “People who’re used to sunlight wouldn’t understand!”

“That’s enough! Let bro go.” Isabel shouted at the blonde giant, “Dont be cocky just because you’re soilders!”

“Take your filthy hands off him.” You seethed at the one gripping Levi’s hair, paying no mind to you.

Eventually he lifted Levi’s head from the dirty mud whilst the man squatted infront of him.

“My name is Erwin Smith. Yours is?”

“Levi.”

“Levi, why don’t we make a deal.”

“A deal?”

“I will let your crimes go unpunished. In return lend me your strength, join the Survey Corps.”

Your eyes widened and you gasped lightly “Levi, no...” You called, the Survey Corps were extremely dangerous and you didn’t want Levi to risk his life by himself.

“And if I refuse?”

“The Military Police will have you, considering all your crimes, you and your friends won’t be treated very nicely.” The man stood and returned to his original placement, “Choose whichever you prefer.”

There was a long pause as Levi considered this, thoughts of you flashed through his mind vaguely. He didn’t want you beaten for his choice, but neither did he want Farlan and Isabel to either.

“Fine.”

You looked down at the floor, a frown evident on your face as you shook your head.

“I’ll join the Survey Corps.”

You were going with him no matter what.

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“Introduce yourselves!” Bellowed a voice as you stood, leaning your weight against one hip as you crossed your arms over your chest.

You all ended up joining the Survey Corps and stood wearing the outfit, atleast it wasn’t uncomfortable.

“The names Levi.”

“Levi.. The first thing you’ll need is some goddamn discipline,” argued the commander “Next.”

“I’m Isabel Magnolia! Nice to meetcha!”

“My name is... Farlan Church.”

With your arms crossed you studied the crowd as they waited for you,

“My name is Y/N.”

“Flagon, these four will be assigned to your squad.” Ordered the Commander.

The introductions ended and Flagon brought them to the barracks, they began to converse amongst eachother as you walked behind Levi.

His hand lifted and rubbed behind the wood, dust falling and sticking to his fingertips. Farlan, Isabel, and your eyes all widened in fear as you quickly noticed what it was.

“I know you all lived in the underground, but try to keep this place paper clean.” Stated the man.

“..Huh?” Levi remarked as he walked towards Flagon, his gaze icy with a glare.

“Why are you looking at me like that? How dare you.”

Farlan rushed forwards and placed a hand between the two, “Sorry! We will keep this place clean.”

Flagon nodded and headed for the door “Training begins to tomorrow,” and left.

You looked back at Levi, walking towards him and placing a hand on his shoulder, gingerly squeezing it.

“Don’t pull anymore tricks like that Levi.” Commented Farlan as he watched him clean the filth off his fingers.

Levi frowned angrily and looked past you to Farlan “Did you not hear what that piece of shit had spouting out of his piece of shit mouth?”

You grinned a bit at that and stepped away from Levi, sitting down on the bed as you let the two argue. Resting your head in your hands whilst you shut your eyes.

You felt the bed dip and removed your hands, looking to see Levi. A disgusted look present on his face as he couldn’t believe he was sitting in such filth.

“Levi, are you worried?” You asked softly. You and Levi’s sides were pressed together as he stared straight on.

“Yes, but we have training tomorrow. Then we can finally see how real this is.” He remarked as you nodded, taking his hand in both of yours. He allowed you to, his gaze staring at your hands.

“I wish you hadn’t come.” Levi added, your eyes snapped to his as you held eye contact.

“What, and let you come here by yourself and get potentially killed. Fuck no.” You snapped at him whilst your grip on his hand tightening.

Levi’s gaze softened at you, he knew these titans were dangerous and he was terrified. Terrified for your safety, but he’d never show it.

Suddenly you released your grip on his hand and instead wrapped them around his neck, pulling him close to you as you put your head in the crook of his neck. He smelt of soap and artificial flowers from a cleaning product.

Levi had stiffened under your touch, his heart beat quickly. His mouth only a fraction open as he registered the human contact. A warm feeling bloomed in his chest and clenched his heart, warmth spreading throughout his body. It lasted mere seconds until his face went back to emotionless. His arms slowly wrapped around your waist and he breathed in your scent momentarily. You smelt of light flowers and vanilla. He loved it almost instantly.

Despite his wishes, his eyes shut and his grip on you tightened. Taking in this moment for he was fearful it’d be the first and last. Pulling back slowly, his hands traced along your waist to your cheeks as he cupped them gently.

Your hand gingerly hovered over his as you two stared at eachother, the tension so strong it gripped your heart and squeezed. His eyes flickered to your lips, his thumb extended from your soft skin to your plump lips, rubbing it tenderly.

Running your hand along his arm you traced it to his hair, your nails going through his silky raven locks until your hand reached the back of his neck where his hair began.

Inching him closer, “Levi..” you whispered delicately. Your noses nearly touching as your eyes fluttered shut, Levi took this as acceptance as his lips neared yours.

BANG

“Levi, Y/N,” Farlan.

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It was the morning after and you stood, unsheathing the blades from your gear, turning and flipping them as you inspected the sharp objects.

“Eh, what do you think your doing?”

Holding the blades you turned to gaze at one of the captains, flipping the blades you gripped them correctly.

“Don’t worry, if I wanted to kill you, I would’ve.” You remarked with a small grin as the captain’s mouth gaped open until his face contoured into one of anger.

“Do not talk to your superior like that—“ Bellowed the captain before you took off into the trees, a laugh following you as it left your lips.

Soaring through the tall trees you kept your eyes honed on any fast approaching objects, gripping your blades tighter as you steadied your breathing.

A large cardboard cutout rose from the trees infront of you, it was bigger than an average human but small when maneuvering above it.

You gasped lightly and faltered momentarily. Leaving your trance you scowled and sent off an ODM on the tree above.

Grappled to the tree you were perched on the tree bark, readying your blades you sent off the ODM on its nape and sliced it through successfully. Grappling away instantly to look for more.

Adrenaline flowed through you, your eyes crazed more as you came across another. Using the nearby trees to swing above and behind the cardboard titan, spinning around you glided above the nape. Grappling the nape and slicing through it perfectly.

The one controlling the cardboard titan stared up at you in shock, how was she so fast?

Continuing this until you made it back to the rest, landing smoothly your eyes scanned the crowd. Spotting Levi you rushed over, grabbing his arm whilst his cold glare turned to look at his grabber.

Levi’s gaze softened realizing it was you and planted a hand on your head, his fingers tangling in your hair before they trailed down your locks and let go.

──────────⊹⊱✫⊰⊹──────────

“I’ll be going alone.”

Levi’s words echoed in your mind as you stared at him, eyes wide. Tch, who does Levi think he is. A scowl formed on your face and your hands clenched into a fist.

“What?” Isabel and Farlan spoke in unison with shocked expressions.

“You three must make up and excuse to stay behind.”

“But bro, why!?” Isabel exclaimed loudly.

“We haven’t seen a real titan yet and it will be our first time outside the walls. It may take all we have to make it back alive. But if i’m by myself, i’ll manage somehow.”

“But..” You got up off the crate and stood, crossing your arms, “So you’re saying is that we can’t handle it?” You questioned briskly.

“That’s right, or atleast, how I feel.” Levi spoke coldly.

Isabel frowned deeply and walked towards Levi, her hands in fist as she shook slightly, “How can you say that? You won’t know till we tried!” She defended “What’s wrong? This isn’t like you,” She’d add.

Levi frowned and clenched his fist, glaring at you three “If you won’t stay behind, then we’re done talking!” he finalized and walked past you, his painful words attacking your heart as you hung your head.

They yelled for him to stop but you stayed silent, Isabel and Farlan began to argue. Looking up you gazed to where he’d gone, the roof.

Walking towards it, it brought the attention of Isabel and Farlan “Y/N” they began as you gestured your hand to follow.

Reaching the roof you noticed Levi sitting, the door opening had caught his attention, he stared at your nearing figure.

“Levi.” You spoke and walked forwards.

“Bro,” “Levi,” spoke Isabel and Farlan simultaneously.

“I can’t let you go alone.” Farlan demanded, standing confidently.

“You said we’d all go at once, have you forgotten?” Isabel added coldly.

You stopped almost infront of him, crossing your arms “We still have to see the beyond the wall.” Levi’s eyes widened and he lost air for a moment, turning back to the view of the roof.

“It’s the same. When you can’t see the moon or stars, the sky up here is just the same as down below.” Levi said dully, staring straight on.

You three looked up into the dark sky, clouds were clogging the beautiful sky from the stars and the planets beyond.

“The color sure, but..” Farlan began, “But it’s different” Isabel concluded as Levi turned his head to Isabel, “We know there’s no ceiling! It’s completely different.”

“Look,” you pointed into the sky, the gloomy clouds moved to reveal a bright moon. “The moon is so bright!” Isabel exclaimed loudly in an awe tone.

Farlan and Isabel took seats on the edge with Levi, staring up. You walked forwards and took a seat next to Levi, your knees touching as you yourself gazed up at the moon and stars.

“We’ll never go back down there.”

“She’s right bro. The four of us always pulled through, right? It’ll be the same with the titans. Let’s do this together.” Isabel grinned widely as she turned to look at her friends.

“Levi, believe in us.” Farlan spoke and looked to his friend, Levi’s eyes dilated when he heard this. His emotions were powerful but so were his friends determination.

Levi looked to the starry sky and pondered this, memories of his friends passed through his mind. Looking back down a smile had taken his lips “Alright. I’ll believe in you.”

“Yay!” Isabel yelled as she put her arms in the air whooping with joy, “Bro sure is a stubborn one isn’t he?”

Farlan began to chuckle whilst you placed your hand on Levi’s, interlacing eachothers fingers as you looked up to the sky. Levi stared at you with determination and most importantly love, the smile he held never ceased to falter from his face.

──────────⊹⊱✫⊰⊹──────────

“We will now begin the 23rd Expedition Beyond the Walls!” Bellowed the Commander of the Survey Corps, “Forward, Everyone!”

He whipped the reigns on his horse and took off, yelling loudly. Everyone followed his command and started off behind him. To the right of you was Levi, Farlan, then Isabel.

As you galloped under the wall it opened to reveal the great plains with some strips of trees. Tilting your head up you found the sun belting down on you, it was gorgeous, better than you could’ve imagined. The sunlight stretched as far as you could see, it’s bright rays lighting the beauty of the land.

Along with you, Farlan and Isabel seemed awestruck while they stared at the bright blue sky, “Wow!” Isabel spoke in awe.

“Yeah. Not bad at all.” Levi said from beside you, staring up he saw the sun. He had fulfilled his promise to Y/N, to go beyond the wall together. A faint smile on his usual bored lips.

“Levi, thank you.” You spoke from beside him, turning to look at the girl who grinned broadly, “Thank you for showing me.”

Levi stared at you, impossible to mutter the words he so badly wanted to say ‘I love you’.

He could only muster a nod at you and turn his head straight on, his heart beating wildly in his chest but his face a stoic one.

A girl scolded the four of you for losing focus, exclaiming we’d die before we know it.

“Titan spotted!”

Your gaze cut to look ahead of you, a 15 meter was running straight at your squad. Air hitched in your throat as you stared at it ‘So this is what a titan looks like’ you thought.

“Two 10-meter class titans are heading for us from behind!”

Snapping your head back you saw the other two titans, eyebrows furrowing.

“Prepare to attack! Equip your 3D Maneuver Gear!”

One man went to attack the titan, shooting his gear at it head on. Before the titans mouth gaped open and crunched down on the man.

Flagon quickly shot his ODM at a nearby tree, flying up off his horse and escalating on the titan, flying behind it and turning back to advance on it he striked at the nape, killing it as it tumbled to the ground.

You were shocked but felt the heavy footsteps of the titans behind you gaining, turning you looked to see the two titans.

“You three! Stay in your course!” Flagon shouted from ahead.

Suddenly a green cape flew by, fluttering in the wind as it headed straight for the two titans behind us.

“Levi!” You yelled and spun your horse around, whipping the reigns roughly as you leaned forwards on the horse, gaining speed by the second.

“Y/N! C’mon Isabel we can do this” Farlan called as they both turned their horses around, chasing after you and Levi.

You watched as Levi jumped off his horse and grappling to a tree behind them before grappling the titan and swinging around it until finally slicing its nape clean off. The surface rumbled as the titan fell to the ground, grass and soil flying into the air.

Taking a deep breath you stood on your horse, grappling to a tree. Unsheathing your blades you released the ODM on its leg, striking behind his knees. From above you saw Isabel get grabbed by the titan, fear striking your heart as you shot your ODM to save her.

Luckily, she cut off the fingers holding her and whooped loudly before swinging away. Farlan came from behind and swung at the nape, ending the titan. You were just infront the titan as you saw it begin to fall forwards, eyes widening as you grappled away hastily.

You landed on the ground and felt a gust of wind and dirt hit you heavily, protecting your eyes with your arm.

Dropping your arm you stood infront of the head of the titan, hot steam exiting into the air.

Levi came from behind you on his horse as he held the reigns of your stead, staring at your figure as you stood, nonmoving.

Despite your best efforts your hands shook from post shock, the blades shuddering in your grip as you still held them.

Levi got off his horse and came up from behind you, his arms snaking around your waist while he pulled your back to his chest.

“Levi..” You whispered softly as you felt your hands steady, sheathing your blades and placing your hands on his.

“Thank you..” Taking his hands off your stomach you held one and turned around, he only nodded at you and squeezed your hand before dropping it.

Isabel and Farlan came from ahead whilst you and Levi mounted your horses silently, “Levi! We took down a titan all by ourselves!” “We did it bro! We did it!” Isabel and Farlan said excitedly, huge grins on their faces.

“Yeah... You guys did well.” Levi agreed while you pet the mane of your horse gingerly.

“Indeed,” The sudden voice made you turn to see Erwin Smith, eyes widening a fraction “that was impressive, considering it was your first time. But you used too much gas. You need to be especially conservative out here.”

Farlan scowled and readied to argue before Levi put his hand out to stop him, speaking cooly, “You’re expecting me to take priority of my equipment over the lives of my friends?”

“You’re performing a lot of unnecessary movements. Are you beginning to have doubts?” Erwin challenged as Levi grimaced, “If you are, that’ll be the death of you very soon.”

You stared at Erwins retreating figure while Isabel and Farlan bickered amongst themselves.

Following after him soon after, the clouds beginning to turn a dark gray from above.

Small bullets of water began to rain down on the land, soaking everything it touched and fast.

Pulling your hood up you noticed fog cloud the area around you, your eyes darting to the areas of open land, fearful for a titan to appear.

“I didn’t know rain could be this heavy!” Isabel called

“We can’t even see any titans!” You exclaimed

“This is our chance.” Levi calmly spoke from ahead of you, “We’ll use the rain as cover and get close to Erwin.”

Small gasps left their mouths, they have totally forgotten their mission.

“Levi!” “Are we gonna do it bro?”

“Yeah. But it’d be suspicious if all three of us were to break away at once. I’ll go alone.”

You tsked and turned your head away from him, shaking it. He is so persistent to be independent all the damn time.

“True, it’s best not to carelessly move around.” Farlan stated.

“Alright fine, we’re counting on you bro! Go and secure our citizenship.” Isabel grinned widely, her teeth shining.

A terrible feeling was inside your chest, it was unexpected and hurt terribly. Something was bound to go wrong and you could feel it pierce your soul.

“If anyone asks, tell them I went to survey the terrain.” Levi gazed at you when he ended, noting the discomfort in your face.

“Y/N” The cool tone caught your attention as you looked to Levi, his eyes narrowing as he looked to you.

“Be safe.” Time slowed as he said this, this answered all your fears. Levi himself was terrified and he emitted it from his eyes, his eyes, they were so scared and vulnerable.

Time came back as he whipped the reigns of his horse and rode forwards, no..

“Levi!” You screamed as he turned his head to you.

“I love you!” You yelled as confidently as you could, his eyes and mouth visibly opening wide, his heart clenched with an igniting warmth. He snapped his head back forwards, he’d say those words when he returned, he had faith in your survival.

Levi’s figure disappeared into the fog as Isabel and Farlan gaped at you, a blush rushing to your cheeks when he never reciprocated it.

“Y/N..” You looked to them, they smiled at you “I’m sure bro loves you! How could he not?” Isabel exclaimed happily as you gave her a faint smile.

Minutes later from riding your hands shook lightly, gazing at your friends you sighed.

Then, Isabel was in the air, why was she in the air? But your eyes hadn’t registered the huge fleshy fingers gripping your close friend. Your eyes widened in fear as your mouth opened to scream for her, Farlan was beginning to unsheath his blades as he rose from his horse.

The titan brought your red headed friend to its mouth, why her? She was always so kind and optimistic. Her happiness always giving her hope in the darkness of this shitty world.

Tears pricked at your eyes as you watched it, watched the titan eat her small, fragile body. Blood, her blood, splattering yours and Farlans face.

“Isabel!” Your screams finally broke the trance you were in, unsheathing your blades and jumping off your horse. Tears streamed down your soft cheeks as you saw Isabels head fall to the floor and roll.

You screamed as you went behind the titan, slicing down its nape, slicing its arms, knees, hands, anything that was connected to the titan was gone or bloody.

Farlan fell to his knees with tears flowing down his face, looking down to Isabels mutilated head. Sobs wracked his bodily heavily as he moved the red hair from her bloody face.

A new titan came from where the other titan had come from, running at you. “Farlan!” You shouted madly as you crouched down quickly, shaking his shoulders violently as he sobbed.

“Farlan! We have to survive, for Levi!!” You screamed at him and kept shaking him, removing the hands from his eyes he stared at your confident look, slowly, he’d nod and shakily stand.

You shot your ODM at a tree and stared to the incoming titan, a hard scowl overcoming your features as you jumped up, grappling its arm.

The titan looked to you and his hand stuck out, you gasped and attempted to move out its way. But it’s hand had caught one of your legs, your eyes dilated as you watched your leg get crushed by the hands of a titan.

A scream left and echoed around you, your terrified and fearful screams.

Farlan came from behind the titan and sliced at its nape, stopping any further damage.

Grappling away quickly, fell to the ground as soon as you landed, your face was coated in filth. Mud and blood covered your body.

Sitting up, you groaned in pain as you looked ahead. Farlan was running to you, shouting for you to stay awake.

But, as there always is, was another titan, it was an abnormal as it ran over on its four limbs. Your eyesight was blurry, looking at Farlan infront of you. His worried gray orbs roaming over yours as you saw his mouth shout words at you.

“Titan..” you mustered out as Farlan spun around to see the abnormal, he was scared, upset, but mostly angry. Angry for the death of Isabel and Y/N’s injury, but more furious at his short life. Farlan was smart he knew he wouldn’t survive this one and it pained him but he’d fight for atleast Y/N to survive this.

He grappled off towards the titan, you watched with zero control. Pain sizzled up your leg and ignited your body in a fury of agony.

“Farlan!” You attempted to shout, reaching your hand out towards his retreating figure. He looked back at you and gave a smile, a smile at a time like this. You wailed loudly and slammed your fist into the dirt sobbing.

From the distance you heard the loud sobs and screams of Farlans last moments as the abnormal bit down on his abdomen, ending his suffering. There was silence but for the titan feasting on Farlan.

Your head hung downwards as wind blew through your hair, shutting your eyes as tears streamed down your face.

Clutching the grass around you, you went against your pain and pushed yourself up off the ground, resting your weight in your good leg.

Levi was in the distance, crouched infront of Isabels head. He hadn’t looked up as he stared at his red headed friend. ‘Y/N, Farlan. Where are they?” he thought painfully as he forced himself to look up.

He caught your standing figure staring at the abnormal, Farlans body dangling from its teethy grin. Levi’s eyes dilated and he immediately stood, unsheathing his blades he ran towards you and the titan.

The abnormal began to reach its hand out to you, it’s fingers unclenching and expanding to grab you.

Blood splattered your face, along with the ground thumping. The raven head stood infront of you with mutilated fingers behind him, his glossy eyes looked back at you and he shoved you.

Levi shoved you to the ground as you landed flat on your ass, you stared at him with an awestruck expression.

“Do not stand! I’ll kill it!” Levi yelled at you, your eyes darting to his hands. They shook violently before he ran towards the abnormal and grappled it.

You sat there like he had insisted you do, hair blew over your eyes as you surveyed the battlefield. Blood streaks littered the area and Isabel, oh Isabel. Farlans body was spit from the titans mouth as he thudded against the dirt, his eyes rolled to the back of his head and an intestine hung out his stomach.

Vomit come up your throat as you leaned over and hurled your morning breakfast, your body heaving as you fell onto your back, staring up at the gray sky. ‘Maybe it was like the undergound’ you pondered.

Far away were Levi’s shouts and screams as he sliced the titans whole body, so much so that the titans head flew off and rolled onto the ground, sputtering blood everywhere.

Blood poured out of every slice Levi had inflicted on the titan, he held no remorse for the monster as he sliced its hands clean off. Until finally, slicing its nape.

Levi landed and kneeled down, his black hair covering his eyes as he shook. He felt knees fall to the ground ahead of him and a hand touch his bloodied cheek.

His head snapped up and he was met with Y/N’s eyes, she rubbed his cheek tenderly. Staring at his dull gray eyes with love and vulnerability. Levi’s eyes glossed over as he was flushed with a wave of gratefulness, his true love lived through this hell.

“Levi... I’m here, I’m right here.”

Levi’s hands cupped your face and pulled you in quickly, your lips fusing together as your eyes fluttered shut. Tears leaked down your eyes as you moved your hands to the collar of his shirt, gripping it tightly.

Slowly he pulled back, your lips softly breaking apart as he rubbed away your tears with his thumbs.

“I love you too.”

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[calumxkisses]

One Last Dance | c.h.

pairing: calum hood x reader

genre: angst

warnings: death and blood (not too graphic)

summary: servant!calum au x princess!reader.

a/n: hi! i’m still not really good with au imagines, i changed the request a little because i had no idea how to write someone getting beheaded. sorry for beign late and hope you like it!

you should read this imagine while listening to: the night we met

✰ ✰ ✰

“I love you.” He whispers before he closes his eyes for the last time. You see his soul leaving its body and, as much as try to shake it, you know that he’ll never wake up. His face lies on your hands, leaning against what was once the dress of your dreams, once white, now stained in red, the diamonds on the corsage reflect the hell you are experiencing as your lips cry out in pain.

His lifeless body is lying on the floor, getting colder and colder and you can't think of how it was transmitting heat just a few seconds before. The sword that took your happiness away lies next to your lover's body, its owner is now gone but you know where to find them, they rest in the same rooms where you once took refuge from nightmares and sought peace.

Peace. A word that sounds almost funny now, so taken for granted and appreciated now that it's gone.

Peace, that you felt as you were lying on the hill, far away from the castle, with your head on Calum's lap, while your hands intertwined daisies and his mouth told tales of monsters and princesses, princes and weddings.

Peace was what you felt when his hands, calloused by all the hard work done during the day, caressed your face during sleepless nights, in the dark, hidden from prying eyes and from a world that would never accept your love.

Peace was what you felt when his strong arms made you spin between laughter and kisses, in that white and gold room, on that same floor that now sees your smile transformed into pain and your kisses transformed into tears.

The crown falls from your head as you lower your face to caress his face and it makes a shrill noise, like a broken dream, and like never before you hate all those stones and all that iron. So many times you have prayed to be normal, to do a humble job, to wear old and filthy clothes and to be free to be able to look at those eyes in the sunlight, amid the laughter of children and the screams of peasant sellers, while some little girls looks at you and dreams of a love like yours, where nothing matters besides you.

You feel your heart tug, break, get stab, every second is more painful and you know that it'll never stop hurting.

The sun is rising from the window on your right, the mirror reflects the first rays of the sun that struggle to shed light in the darkness of the night.

Soon, someone will walk through the door in front of you, unaware of the love that has been interrupted and of the life that has been sacrificed for an alliance of peoples, for a stupid belief in social classes and gold, land and castles.

They will cross the threshold of that door, mentally repeating the chores to do just to see the princess cry over the body of a humble servant, too young to know things like love but grown up enough to fight for it. They will wonder what happened as they cover their shock with their hands and crouch down next to you, making sure you’re okay and telling you to dry your tears, because the people must not see the darkness that is hidden behind the castle gate.

And while their clothes will try to clean the blood from your hands, you will have to explain how the king, the man they acclaim so much, is unable to love, such a simple thing compared to the thousand daily feats for which he gets celebrated.

You will have to tell them about the way his sword pierced the heart of a young boy, unarmed and full of hope, without hesitation.

You will have to tell about the way he looked you in the eyes and the ice that surrounds his heart, how he did not care for the happiness of his daughter, the same daughter he shows and compliments in front of generals and other kings.

He was not supposed to know, not like this. Your father was supposed to see your love from your eyes and know about it from you, he was supposed to listen to you telling him how much Calum meant to you and to bless your secret marriage, not finding it out from jealous servants and interruping it with a murder because he promised you to someone else.

So you close your eyes and squeeze his body even closer to yours, its scent fills your nostrils and surrounds your body. Your mind starts wandering and you let it go, every place is better than the reality you are living.

He was just a boy! He had his whole life in front of him, he had humble dreams and a passion for life that only children have. He was passionate about what he did, he enjoyed learning new languages ​​while cleaning horses and serving kings of distant lands, he loved playing a small instrument he had found in the garbage but which he treated as the most precious of treasures.

And no matter the time it was outside, he was able to bring sunshine even on the darkest days. He did his work with dedication, never left anything unfinished and helped others whenever needed. How were you supposed to move on?

He knew you loved the stars and had walked miles just to learn facts about astronomy from the best of astronomers so that he always had something new to tell you. He had been taught how to write so that he was able to tell you how much he loved you even when he couldn't speak. He had collected every flower on the lawn of the castle and put them in a small jar for you, so that you could admire their beauty even in winter.

And when the tears ran down your face, he had embroidered a handkerchief on purpose to be able to dry them, because such special tears could not be wasted.

As your mind wanders through the memories of his spontaneous kisses when he passed by by chance, you hear music in the distance.

The piano plays sweet melodies, surrounding the two of you like a warm blanket during a winter day. You stand at the center of the white and gold room, on the ballroom floor. Your white long gown whisks against the ground as he holds a hand in front of him.

He stands before you, looking beautiful as ever. His suit fits him perfectly, his brown eyes drawing you to him.

“My love.” He whispers with a sad smile on his face. There’s no trace of blood in his clothes and his eyes are still sparkling with life inside of them.

“Calum.” His name is the only thing you’re able to say. You know that it’s just a dream and any word won’t express enough what you’re feeling.

You don’t want to close your eyes, the fear of losing him again it's too much to even risk blinking. You can’t leave him again, you just can’t.

“Don’t be scared. You have a whole future ahead of you, love. You’ll reach your goals, make your dreams come true, you’ll have a happy life and I’ll be there, always by your side.”

“But you won’t be really there! We had so many plans for us, like that little house in the countryside and you promised me to teach our future children all the fairy tales you told me. It's not fair.”

You see a tear running down his face, his hand wipes it away but the sadness in his eyes can’t be wiped away that easily. Not anymore, not with a kiss or not with a sky full of stars. He won’t see them anymore, he won’t feel the sun on his skin or the warmth of the fireplace in your secret place, over the hill, to the right of the lake.

“You had a life ahead. We had so many things to do, so many dreams to fulfill, so many lands to explore. I can’t do this without you.”

“You can and you will. You are a bright, intelligent woman. You are capable of doing anything you want. I know we had so many dreams for us, but I'm sure you’ll manage to make them true in your own way. I will always be next to you, you will not see me but I will make sure that nothing else happens to you. You deserve to move forward, to become the woman you are meant to be. I believe in you. Now, come here, please. Let me hold you one last time.”

And you know that you can say whatever you want but any word will make him come back to you.

He takes your hand, holds your waist and pulls you closer. It’s a familiar thing for you, you’d danced this way a thousand times before, in this very room, the enchanting music enveloping your new world, just the two of you.

This time, thought, is different. He was about to fade away forever, you’d have to leave him behind, his smile would never bring joy to your life anymore. It feels like heaven but hurts like hell.

So, as he pulls you into his embrace, spinning you around the room, you try to ignore the tears that are running down your face. You just want to enjoy the warmth of his hugs and his hand on yours for the rest of your life, is that too much to ask?

As the music comes to an end, you feel his hands shaking and the tremor on his voice as he whispers: “It’s time to go.”

“One more song, please.” You whisper, burying your head into his shoulder, tears brimming in your eyes.

So he spins you around more, his hands never letting yours go. There’s not much time left and you know it.

“Do you remember the night we met?” You ask, a smile forming on your lips at the memory.

“I do, we were just children but I remember every detail. You were wearing that small red dress, too caught up on the lanterns flying in the sky to notice that I was looking at you. I explored all the castle and yet you were the most beautiful thing I had ever seen. And when you finally saw me, instead of screaming at me because I wasn’t doing my job, you asked me if I was okay and if I had eaten enough, before telling me the story of the lanterns.”

“I wanted to make sure you were okay before boring you with my words.”

“You could have never bored me. You were the first one to show kindness to me, to treat me like one of yours.”

“Your heart is richer than any king's treasure, Calum.”

As the music fades and the weak flames of the candles in the room flick out, he holds you even closer, not bothering to hold his sobs any longer. The ballroom is getting colder and his body it's not as warm as it was before. He’s starting to feel lifeless again but you don’t want to let him go.

You’ll come back to reality, where love is hated and war is celebrated. You’ll have to pretend to be fine, showing a smile that hides an unimaginable pain. You’ll look into the eyes of your father and the irises that once never failed to reassure you will now be the reason for your cold heart.

Mostly important, you’ll have to live in a reality without Calum in it, without his smile in the morning or his kisses under the moonlight. A reality that was certainly not worth fighting for, not as much as the love you were meant to live.

“I love you too, always.” You whisper, gazing into his beautiful brown eyes, filled with so much sadness that it was almost unbearable. He smiles.

You open your eyes, your body still lays close to his, his eyes are closed and his voice is not asking you one last dance.

There’s a small smile on his face but you’re too distracted by footsteps outside the room to notice it.

[flying-nightwing]

The Wish to Make on a Dying Breath

Heyyyy people. It’s been a while! So this isn’t what I had promised but I wanted to experiment with words a little bit and this is what i came up with. Apparently I do love death as a central theme because this is about death again. Sorry!

Masterlist pinned/in bio

Pairing: Jason Todd x Death!Reader (gender neutral)

Word count: 2422

Warnings: Jason Todd dying a few times but don’t worry it’s not a tragic story, fatal injuries, talk about the afterlife

Summary: You are the powerful entity of Death, keeping watch on the Earth and making sure souls are properly transitioned into the afterlife. One night, you are called in person to a specific death, where you meet the one and only Jason Todd

You have seen a lot of things.

People being born and dying, the rise and fall of empires, the best and the worst of humanity, sometimes co-existing side to side closer than they would even know. There was not a lot that could impress you anymore, but sometimes there were circumstances, lone stars of events that still drew your curiosity. After all, human kind has always been an unpredictable species that managed to take you by surprise from time to time. Your work had changed since you had first been needed. There were too many people on the Earth now for you to handle personally, and you didn’t quite know what factor made you select some people over others. 

The night grew silent as you appeared outside an abandoned building on the outskirts of the big city casting a bright light in the distance. You went in, navigating the filthy hallways slowly. It wasn’t long until you reached a bigger room filled with dynamite crates and gasoline puddles on the uneven concrete. In the middle laid someone bloodied and battered and a countdown frozen on the precise moment the last second flipped to zero. 

You walked to them and crouched, noticing how it was just a boy. Young, yet wearing a haunted expression that added years to his traits. There was a single tear that had been rolling down his cheek, a tear of defeat and heartbreak, a tear that was too emotionally charged for a teenager. With a heavy sigh, you reached to him and gently cupped his jaw. 

In less than a second, you felt his entire body tense like an electrical shock went through it and he leaped back, away from you. His eyes were wide as he frantically looked around, aggressively wiping the tear from his cheek. You stood up slowly, observing him. He sniffled, sending you a wary glare, until his eyes found the countdown. Incomprehension was written all over him in verses and his breathing was ragged. 

“Am I dead?”

You have seen a lot of things. Good people pleading to live another day, children not understanding what was happening to them, painful unwilling resignation to cross to the other side. But as he spoke, his voice cracked and scared, you couldn’t help but feel a slow sadness creep inside of you. He was one of these cases that just didn’t feel right, but that had to happen. 

“Not yet” You replied softly. 

“But I will be”

It wasn’t a question. You smiled sadly.

“Yes” You sighed, glancing at the countdown. “Once this reaches 0, I can only suppose this place will blow up with you in it”

He wiped another tear, smearing blood on his cheek. “Why can’t I feel pain?” He asked. “I can’t move, how am I moving?”

You gave him another smile. “I froze time, and by doing so, created a temporary plane of existence on which you are right now” You explained. “I can bend the rules a little more freely here”

His eyes turned critical. He understood what you were saying, easier than most people you remarked. He was just not sure whether to take your word for it, and his confusion turned into suspicion. “Who are you?”

You didn’t flinch at the harshness of his voice. “Have you not figured it out yet?”

“I dealt with enough meta, I don’t keep track of who can do what” He scoffed weakly, but you could see the fight in him. You admired the courage mask he had hurried to put on, because not a lot of people had the guts to stand up to Death itself like that. 

“I see what you mean” You said. “But I am not a meta. I am Death”

His eyes narrowed before he looked up to the ceiling. “Yeah sure” He drawled out, setting his glance back on you. “And I am the crown prince of Denmark”

You chuckled. “You have quite the temper” You pointed out as you began walking around, stopping in front of a crate. A clown face had been spray painted on it, on every one of them. Then, you turned to the boy again, looking him in the eyes. “But I think deep down you know I am telling the truth”

He shifted on his feet. “You don’t look like Death”

“You mean the gravely old man, or the skeleton in the black robes with a scyther?” 

He scoffed again.

“My form does change a lot, but those are myths” You answered. “I will appear to you depending on who you are and what you’ve done. Only terrible people are faced with terrible reapers”

“You look like an angel” 

He seemed surprised by the words he blurted out as a blush crept onto his face. He hadn’t meant to say it out loud, that was clear. You looked down, trying to rein back the smile that wanted to break out on your lips. He was truly a unique case, and you began to understand why you had been called to him. 

“It means you deserved an angel” You nodded your head slowly. “You should be proud of your time on Earth. You were a good person, and you did good things”

“Will it hurt?” He asked.

You shook your head. “It’s going to be quick, once I restart the time” 

“What will come next?”

“I’m sorry” You apologized. “This is something I can’t tell you”

“What if I don’t want to come?”

“I’m afraid that is not up to you” You sighed. 

He seemed disappointed, but nodded nevertheless. “Do your thing”

“Everything’s gonna be okay” You reassured with one last smile, gesturing for him to return to his initial position. He kneeled down, then let himself fall into the ground as he regained the plane of existence he belonged to. And just like that, he was once again frozen along with everything else. You took a moment longer to look at him before you resumed time.

The explosion took everything in its wake, everything but you.

--- 

The alley was dirty and wet, and even with time stopped, you could just hear pipes leaking and rat rummaging through the garbage. 

Gotham hasn’t really gotten better since your last visit. 

You walked deeper into the alley until you saw not one, but two figures frozen with the rest of the world. As you approached you noticed a leather jacket covering a red bat, even redder with a torrent of blood drowning it. Then your eyes trailed up to a defined face, scarred but beautiful, dark hair with a white streak hanging on his forehead. His eyelids were half closed as he stared up at the red haired man kneeling beside him, who seemed to be searching his pockets for anything to stop the bleeding. 

Even without seeing his eyes completely, you knew who it was.

You approached him, and just like you did the first time, you reached for his cheek. His eyes fluttered open, finding yours quickly. You watched as they widened, letting you see the bright blue that had marked your mind forever. This time, he didn’t jump back. 

“It’s you” His voice was no louder than a breath caught in the wind. 

“It’s me” You smiled, watching as he sat up straight from the pile of old cardboard boxes he was leaning on.

You had heard of his comeback to life, of course you did. It wasn’t the first time it happened in history, and most times you had to find a way to tip the dominos so the balance could return to the normal. But you couldn’t hide to yourself you sometimes played favourites and let him be for the time being.

“I didn’t expect to see you again so soon”

“The feeling is mutual” There was a small scoff in his voice, but nothing mean or sarcastic. He was looking at you with wonder and curiosity, being way calmer this time around. “Multiple bullets to the chest is not how I envisioned my second death, to be honest”

“Rarely anyone expects that” You hummed. 

“Touché” He sighed, looking you up and down. He then frowned. “ I don’t get it”

You waited for him to express his thoughts. You doubted he meant death, or the bullets for that matter. 

“You still look like an angel,” He said, blinking. “How do you still look like an angel?”

“Nothing has changed, Jason” You replied. “You are still a good person, who has done good things”

His expression changed. There was a calculating look in his eyes, and emotion brewing under. “You know my name”

“I know most things in the universe” You chuckled. “That includes the names of the souls I reap, and you are hardly forgettable”

A familiar blush creeped on his cheeks as he cleared his throat. “And you think what I’m doing is good?”

“I don’t think so, I know so”

He looked down, letting yet another sigh. He took a moment to collect himself, then nodded slightly. His eyes met yours, a newfound determination in them. “I won’t hold you back anymore, I’m ready. Do your thing”

You smiled again. “I’ll see you again, Jason Todd” You reached for his chest, placing your palm flat on the bullet holes. “Just, not so soon, okay?”

“Wait, what does that mean?” He called as you backed up from him. His body moved itself to retake its position on the right plane of existence, staring at you expectantly. Your lips reached just a little higher, but you didn’t talk. Instead, you unfroze time and let yourself become invisible to the living again. 

A second later, you watched as Jason gasped, his eyelids no longer heavy but instead wide open his blue eyes looking around for something that wasn’t there. You didn’t stick around for too long however, going back to work. 

You have seen a lot of things. Reapers that ignored the natural balance, granting favors left and right to humans. Reality being bended at will, the balance being upset to the point of an almost reset. However, you knew the balance would be just fine this time. You were Death and Life, you had seen the world change and grow, and you believed it would be better off with Jason in it. 

--- 

It was a sunny day when you found yourself on the porch of a small house in a small town, and you would have been sure you had somehow made a mistake if it hadn’t been for the sense of familiarity that echoed through the call that bekonned you there. 

The wind was paused, but you could almost feel the breeze gently blowing through the trees, or the sun rays hitting your face. You looked at the house, then at the door and the knob. You went in. 

You navigated slowly through the hallways, observing the lively wallpaper and the pictures hanging on the walls. Smiles and love stared out the frames, giving it back to the world. It was peaceful there, which was a nice change of pace for once. You ended up at the end of the hallway, where you could see through the open door multiple people gathered around the bed, their eyes teary and sad, but not in pain. You found an open space on the bed and sat down, looking at the man laying down.

His face was wrinkled, the traces of old age fusioning with the faded scars in a portrait of his experiences and adventures. His greying hair was mostly hiding the silver streak on his forehead, but you could still see its contrast. His eyes were closed, and he looked peaceful. You gently put your hand on his cheek, waking him up for what you knew would truly be the last time. 

His blue eyes opened, and he smiled. 

“Hello, Jason” You could see the spark in his eyes, one that was the witness of a happier life. In that moment, you knew he had made the best of it. 

“My angel” His voice was a little bit frailer than last time, another sign of time making its mark on him. A warmth spread inside of you as you gently took his hand in yours. “I hope you don’t plan on sending me back out there”

You let out an airy laugh at his playful expression, shaking your head. “No, I can assure you this is the end of the road, for real this time”

“Good” He let out a content sigh. He wasn’t tense, there wasn’t an ounce of fear in his body. All you could feel radiating out of him was peace. “I’m tired. What a life it has been”

“A great one” You nodded. “I hope you’re proud of it”

“So you don’t regret sending me back into the world that night forty-five year ago?”

“Not for a moment” Your smile widened. “I believe it’s the best decision I’ve ever made”

He looked down, like he didn’t think himself worthy of this praise. You gave his hand a squeeze. 

“I’ve never thanked you” He began after a moment, and you tilted your head. “For helping me out the first time. And for letting me live the second time. You’re the reason I didn’t fear Death as much as I used to”

“I’m glad I could change your mind about me”  You chuckled quietly. The sun was hitting him in a perfect angle though the window, painting a golden halo around him. He said you looked like an angel, now he was one too. “And I’m glad this death seems better than the last one”

He let out a shaky breath, looking into every face around him for the last time. “It’s less traumatizing, that’s for sure”

“Are you ready?”

He nodded slowly before smiling at you. “I am”

“Close your eyes” You whispered, and he made himself comfortable in his bed before shutting his eyelids for the last time. He truly looked at peace.

Without moving, you restarted time to feel him let out his last breath. As his family noticed the new stillness of his body, you slipped away from the house without looking back. 

You have seen a lot of things.

People being born and dying, the rise and fall of empires, the best and the worst of humanity, sometimes co-existing side to side closer than they would even know.  You were Death and Life, you had seen the world change and grow.

Still, Jason Todd had been your favourite part of it.

[magma-cjay]

Lingering Fragments (cw: death, angst, implied suicide)

(foreword: ok MagmaCjay, you asked for it, don't say you weren't warned)

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They were all dead. Every single one of them.

With great effort Risotto staggered toward the headquarters, limping painfully, his right leg dragging, and barely attached to his body by Metallica's power alone. Torn nearly off and barely hanging on by a few strands of muscle and tendon, and the ability of his Stand.

He had barely escaped his encounter with the unassuming young boy. A boy whom he knew had ties to the Boss. Who had mistreated him and his team for far too long. Who he was a fool to have underestimated. But he was lucky to escape with his life. Especially when Bucciarati's team intervened.

If one can consider me lucky, by any definition, Risotto thought.

His whole team was gone. He was the last man standing. The rest of his men, his family, slaughtered like swine by Bucciarati's team, and for what? Hadn't they sought to betray the boss as well? Hadn't they sought the same goal? Weren't they two teams on enemy sides, yet united with a common enemy?

It was all so damn unfair.

It wasn't long until Risotto neared the Hitman Squad hideout, a small, shabby and unassuming apartment that lay secluded in the Italian suburbs. A place where he and his crew dealt their shady deals to survive and hid from the wrath of the Boss. A place that was what many would call the dark, ominous underground of Italy's streets, but was a shelter for his men and himself.

A place that was the closest thing he could call a home.

Barging into the door, blood pouring from his numerous wounds, Risotto stumbled painfully into the living room with a cry of anguish. A cry that echoed through the empty halls of the hideout and gradually warbled away into silence. A painful, deafening silence that hurt Risotto far more than Aerosmith's bullets ever could.

He collapsed heavily onto the kitchen table, breathing heavily and wincing in pain. His dark inky eyes darted down onto the table, which was empty, save for a newspaper, and a plate of long-stale crackers, which were beginning to attract ants from their time left unattended.

Risotto's heart sank like lead as the gravity of what those meant struck him harder than any blow from the Boss's stand. The newspaper was spread out at a crossword puzzle, the date: April 1st, 2001. Risotto wished this was all a fool's day trick, but the silence was all too real. All too agonizing to endure.

The crossword puzzle was half-finished, with angry scribbles and incorrect answers that Risotto recalled too well. Of the angry hollers of Ghiaccio, as he struggled to comprehend words, while Formaggio mocked him playfully for his incompetence while snacking on the table.

Now the remnants of Formaggio's last meal lay untouched, as if silently awaiting their consumer. But there was none. Once wise-cracking, prank-pulling, now just a charred, cold corpse on a street somewhere. Would he at least be laid to rest by whoever found his body? thought Risotto. Or would he be left to rot, be picked away by rats and roaches like garbage? Like the garbage he had always been treated as, by the world, by society, by the very gang they had found themselves trapped in?

The unfinished crossword puzzle also brought Risotto little comfort. He had always loathed Ghiaccio's rambling, his angry ranting at the most trivial of things. But now Risotto ached for that irate voice. He would have given anything to hear that voice one last time. Not that Ghiaccio's throat, pierced right through the spine and out his windpipe, drowned slowly in his own blood by Giovanna and his gunman, would ever make another sound again.

Risotto glared at the crossword puzzle, and the one word that Ghiaccio had managed to fill. "An eight letter word synonymous with forever." 

Eternity.

Eternity. How painfully appropriate. Gone for eternity, never to be seen or heard from again. Forever. Just like the only family he ever had, with this one word, inked out in a sanguine red on the faded parchment, as if an ominous tiding of death.

The sight of these leftovers were too much for Risotto to bear, and despite the agony he heaved himself off the kitchen chair, stumbling to the living room and throwing himself onto the couch. His blood stained the faded, torn cushions, as he pressed his face into a pillow and muffled a scream. He breathed in through his nose, and caught a waft of a familiar scent. Prosciutto's cologne. His favorite pefume that he wore before...that mission. Risotto felt a lump in his throat.

Everywhere he looked, everywhere he went, the house was filled with little remains of everyday things, which like nails further hammered in the loss in his already wounded heart and soul. Scents. Sights. Sounds, or the lack thereof.

His knee accidentally pressed something hard on the sofa and with a static whirr the television came on. It was a dramatic soap opera currently on air. Melone and Illuso's favorite television show, featuring soppy tales of love and romance which they dutifully watched day after day, despite mocking jabs from Formaggio and Ghiaccio about their tastes in genre.

And now they will never know how the show ends. The last he had heard of Melone was a report from Ghiaccio claiming to have heard him scream on the phone and lose contact. And Illuso...was gone. Not just dead, but gone: vanished without a trace, melted into thin air, with not even a hair or piece of clothing to remind the world that he ever was.

Would anyone remember them? Would anybody even care?

They were just criminals to the world, weren't they? The scum of the earth, filthy, cold-blooded killers. They were the monsters of society, and to anyone else? They'd say they deserved to die.

But to Risotto, they were family. His family. His brothers in a way, who were all dragged in this horrid life by the cruel twists of fate. He'd wished to have escaped from the trappings of this mafia, but they were mired too deep into the quicksands of crime. He regretted deep inside having turned them into this life of a gangster. Especially Pesci. He was too young, too naive. He never deserved a life like this. He never deserved to see his big brother crushed under the wheels of a locomotive, and be torn apart alive shortly after by that damn Bucciarati's stand to spend his final moments in pain and terror at the cold, freezing abyss of a lake.

He despised himself at not having been able to save them. Of having failed to free them from the binds of this miserable existence. But it was too late. Since the day Sorbet and Gelato befell their dreadful end, he swore that he would lose no more further. But he did. One by one. And every single day, Risotto returned to find his home a little bit emptier.

Until there was none.

He was all alone in this cold, cruel, void, everyone he had ever cared about but a distant memory or a pallid lifeless corpse. There was nothing left for him. No one to turn to. Not even Formaggio's uplifting cracking jokes or Prosciutto's affectionate reassurance. He hated Giovanna and his allies for everything they did. If he could, he wanted to take their lives with his own bare hands, make them pay for the pain they wrought. But what would it bring him? Satisfaction? Justice?

There is no justice in this wretched world, Risotto thought bitterly. That's why I am here in the first place.

He could murder Giovanna and Bucciarati and the Boss for all he cared, but the damage was already done. Nothing he could do would bring back his family. They were dead, gone forever, and all of his efforts would have been in vain.

There was nothing left for him, but a future of emptiness.

Why did he have to suffer? What did he do to deserve all this? They were bad people who did bad things, but it wasn't their fault they were forced to become what they were. Risotto whimpered like a frightened child as he curled up on the bloodstained sofa, embracing himself tightly in a futile effort to make the pain go away, the pain of his body's wounds, and the agony that seared his soul like hellfire.

He wanted the pain to end.

A gleam caught his eye, down next to the sofa. Something black and shiny lay tucked against one side of the cushions It was Prosciutto's spare revolver, which he kept in good condition, and kept hidden away in case his original was lost or damaged if a mission went wrong.

It couldn't have gone more wrong.

Everything had gone wrong.

Their entire life had gone wrong.

With trembling hands and heaving breath Risotto reached out for the revolver and felt its cold, hard steel touch menacingly, and yet enticingly, to his stiff, shivering fingers.

Maybe this would make the pain go away.

For eternity.

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(afterword: yeah, told you this would get really depressing. i didn't know if Risotto would kill himself or choose to continue living, in which case he would just suffer all the more so yeah i never made a chapter two. oh well. sorry all you squadra fans for making you cry today)

[whosxafraid]

Meme: Uncomfortable Headcanons Status: Open URL: @goodlawman​

Monday morning. He’s been up a while as it is. Pieceing together plans for another job. But then his stomach had turned on him and breakfast had become a necessity. And breakfast meant the inevitability of throwing away things. Things like the empty egg carton. The milk he finished off. And right--that became needing to take out the garbage. Heavy bag lifted out of the waste bin. Feet shoved into boots. A dozen locks unlatched and the door drug open. Bag held at arms length because even the cigarette hanging from his mouth can’t mask the smell. A thought that has him re-thinking the concept of hiring someone to just do all this. But it passes on without any real consideration. It’s too risky. 

So heavy boots thud down the stairs. Shuffle over concrete. One of the side doors of the wear house hauled open next and he steps out into the early morning. The sun just start to peek over the horizon. Its light cutting between buildings. Casting shadows at weird angles. And there’s a narrowing of green and yellow at his own. A light warping that dares appear at the edges. A tell tell sign his particular condition is brewing for a badly timed episode. Nothing he can really do about. Have to deal with it as it comes. Though in a way he’s glad for the warning all the same. He’s got time to adjust his timetable. 

A bit of smoke sent up into the air from a long drag. Cigarette set between his lips again before lifting the lid of the dumpster. Bag given a swing to gain momentum and up and and over it goes. Landing with the expected sound of plastic on plastic and a hundred other more gross surfaces. The tumbling squelch not at all paid mind too as the lid is left go of....

He catches it a fraction of a second later. Every piece and part still as stone. Because there’d been something else. Something between the bag striking bag and the clang of glass hitting the side of the dumpster. Something much more organic and the lid comes back up. Green and yellow narrowing again as he pears over the edge and inside. Expecting to find a cat or some other small unfortunate creature that had found its way in but couldn’t find its way out. But--

A boot is what he notices first. One that should have been familiar from the get go, when he thinks about it later. And his gaze follows the leather. Leather that turns to denim that turns to a metal buckle framed in stained and torn flannel. A filthy cotton shirt that had at some point been white. And on and on until-- he’s reaching in. Displacing a painfully familiar hat and there’s a body encompassing sigh. 

God damn it, boy.

The cigarette dropped to asphalt and ground out. A foot that finds a step up and he’s leaning over. A fist full of cotton and flannel. Dragging the top half of Raylan Givens up into a sitting position. Gets arms under the boy’s and dead lifts him out of the trash. Trying not to choke on the smell, once the lad’s feet have hit the street. Picking off unmentionables and--yep that was definitely a banana peel of all things stuck to the kid’s arm. Something that’s slung back into the dumpster once he’s got Raylan leaned to against the outter side. The lid given just enough push to come clanging shut, before he’s shouldering all six plus feet of younger man. A awkwar crouch to grab the can not be forgotten head gear and making his way back inside.

Back inside where, said head gear is abandoned on the kitchen table on his way to the bathroom. Raylan set as easy as Luka can manage into the tub. Clothes stripped and in some cases cut off. The glaring evidence of blood and the rip in an under shirt that matches the hole still closing in the boy’s chest. He doesn’t know what Raylan did to earn that particular momentary trophy but for now all it garners is a shake of his head. The tub facet turned on and allowed to fill up the tub a few inches as he bags the ruined clothes, to be burned at some point tonight. Then Luka gets to work getting the still unconscious lad clean. Gets him dry and lugged out of the bathroom. Finds clothes left behind for whenever Raylan dropped in. Just boxers and shorts for now. And then its the easy part. Getting him all tucked into bed, before its on to the final step.

A blade from the drawer by the bed. A clean cut across his own palm before he’s holding it close over the wound in the boy’s chest. A squeeze and then another and another. Drops of red landing where they will, slowly and then all at once being soaked into the wound like a sponge. And for now that is all Luka can do. If it works--which it should--Raylan will be awake sooner rather than later. Thirsty and hung over, but no worse for wear all things considered. But that doesn’t stop the parental glance Luka gives him. Or the pat to the kid’s shoulder before he shuffles back out of the room. He’s got a work to do after all, and it isn’t like Raylan’s going to be the greatest conversationalist. Not for a few hours anyway.