#and very obvious bc i've done it before but its been a bit- i also say that I do it in my bio- | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

romanarose · 2 years

Text

Leather and Lace chapter 6:

Santiago "Pope" Garcia X Fem!OC

Fic Masterlist

Previous Part : Next part

Chapter summary: Benny and Laci spend the day together to get a surprise for Santi. Santi is jealous. Laci and Santi spend a special moment together.

A/N: I hope y'all know I stayed up waaaaaaaayyy past my bedtime writing this for you. Stay tuned, cuz the next chapter is angsty and then we can start getting into smut. Just a lil smut. As a treat.

Anyway I need y'all to read My Brother's Keeper by @frankiesbadlanding bc it might be the best goddamn piece of frankie fanfiction I've ever read in my LIFE and I'm OBSESSED!!

Also please read Sunshine State By @brewsterispunkk bc its gotta be the goddamn cutest benny miller fic i've ever read its got my fucking heart bro <3

WARNINGS!!!: This whole fic has mentions of rape and abuse, but this chapter has more of that in the beginning, negative self-talk, brief references to smut, and santi kiiinnnnnnddaaaaa being a bit of an ass, showing some bad behaviors.

This chapter will alternate POV's, mostly between Laci and Benny bc I wanted to give Laci a voice and I wanted Benny's outside perspective, but it will have some Santi closer to the end for narrative reasons.

Okay I'm done talking.

****************

They played friends with the boys, roommates at home, lovers at night.

With the guys, they pretended to just be friends. No one bought it for a second, but they pretended. During the day, they played roommates, taking turns cooking for each other and cleaning, going to appointments. At night? At night, they kissed. Laci often wondered why it remained just kissing. It was odd, she had never met a man who didn’t jump at the oppretunity to fuck her, not one that was interested in her anyway. If they weren’t interested, a different story. If they were? Well, they expected sex. Sometimes, whether she wanted it or not.

Her time before Pope found her wasn’t the first time she had been raped, and she always figured it wouldn’t be her last. She had practically resigned herself to that fact.

But Santi didn’t need to know that. He didn’t need to know any of that. Santiago Garcia deserved a version of her without all of that. It was one thing that he had to deal with her non-verbal episodes. Oh Santi, sweet, sweet, Santiago… So patient, so kind, so gentle. When she first saw him that day in the basement, him and Frankie, she had been scared shitless, avoiding eye contact with them, and Benny when he came down. Laci had assumed they were just the next round of men to either hurt her or take her to more men who would. Or both. Santi had insisted he was there to help her, but she couldn’t trust his word, she knew nothing about him. But when she had stood up, when he had caught her and she got a good look in his beautiful brown eyes… She couldn’t help but trust him, just a little.

It was Ben she had first spoken to. She didn’t know why, particularly, but he put her at ease. That was his nature. From the beginning he had treated her with a sense of normalcy he wasn’t used to. He was careful, for sure, but she supposed he didn’t have the intensity Santiago did. Laci felt more at ease with him. Even as she grew to trust Santi, her nervousness had a different source. The way she felt about him was insurmountable, incapable of description. And yet, she couldn’t get a read on him… Why, when they kissed, would he keep his hands so innocently on her back or her hair? Why, when she tentatively slipped tongue in his mouth, did he not open up, why did he not return the action? He had never wanted her to feel obligated to do anything, she knew that. He easily could’ve taken advantage of her situation from the very beginning, but the whole first few days he hadn’t so much stared at her breasts. It was clear he was attracted to her. Sometimes, while they kissed, he’d adjust their placement when she felt him hardening with her on top of him. Had wanted her, that much was obvious. So why had they only kissed? She wasn’t entirely sure she wanted him. Well, she wanted him, that was for sure. He was beautiful and he was kind… but the though of sex made her chest tense, the thought of everything done to her made her sick. Santi didn’t deserve that version of her. He deserved someone that would fuck him.

No matter Santi’s patience, no matter how much he insisted he just wanted to help, a part of her brain told her no, no men don’t do that, people don’t do that, people don’t just help. He wanted something, he had to want her and it was just his decency that he was taking his time. Santi would get tired of this, he’d get tired of playing house with no sex, and he’d either kick her out or force her. Laci couldn’t see Santi being like that, but she’d been wrong before. That’s how she got here.

And that’s why things were easier with Benny. Benny and her had no sexual tension, no questions about what the future was, what they were. They were friends. When her and Santi had made back to the motel, Benny had clearly been crying when he saw Santiago safe, and had been shot. And yet, once he saw her, all that was out of his mind, he was back to himself, getting her clothes and setting her up with a shower that she desperately needed. And right now, she could sit on the couch watching Always Sunny in Philadelphia with him while Santi worked on the kitchen sink that had decided not to drain anymore.

“I swear, I usually win!” Benny was defending the reminisce of a black eye he had from the last bar fight he had gotten in.

“I’m sure you do, Ben” Laci assured him, lying.

Ben winced “I’m just better at fighting when… I’m sober, that’s all”

“And yet…” she started.

“And yet what, Laci?” Benny gestured for her to continue. Santi crawled out from under the kitchen sink “And yet, most of your fights are when you’re drunk, not in the ring.”

Laci grinned at Santi, looking particularly attractive in a white tank top covered in dirt and the gross mess of kitchen plumbing, then turned to a mock offended Ben.

“Wow, is that what you were going to say?”

Laci sheepishly tried to hide a smile and shrugged, giving away that yes, this was exactly what she was thinking.

“Wooooooooooooooooow” Benny drawled out. “Guess you’ll just have to come the fight tomorrow and see me in action!”

Laci’s face lit up. She hopped up on the couch, leaning over the back. “Can I?” She called excited to the man who had re-tangled himself in the sink pipes.

Ben scoffed. “You don’t have to ask his permission.”

She turned to him briefly. “If he’s driving me, I probably should.”

“I’ll drive you!”

Laci gave him a look, then turned back to Santi, taking a moment to admire the bit of skin that showed from his shirt riding up. “Hey Santi?” She called for him, hesitantly. She never wanted to put him out, but he hadn’t gone to a fight since she came into his life, maybe he’d like to go.

Santi crawled out from under the cabinet. That was the thing about Santiago, she always had his full attention. “Yes?” He sounded eager. That was another thing about Santi, he was always so ready to do whatever she asked. Another reason he deserved more than her, she asked for so much.

“Benny asked if we could go to his fight tomorrow?”

Brow furrowed, Santi whipped sweat from his forehead as he sat up. “You wanna go to that? Why?”

She shrugged. “I wanna see Benny get beat up.”

“Hey!”

Santi seemed to almost glare as he glanced at Ben, then softening when he turned to Laci. “I don’t think that’s a good idea, a lot of not good people there.” Back to Ben. “What are you trying to bring her to a place like that for?”

Ben raised his hands defensively “She’s my friend! I want you both there, you haven't been in ages” Since I came around, keeping you from your life Laci thought.

Santi shook his head.

“Fine. Ben said definitely. “I’ll take her then.”

Santiago stood up, giving him the irritated look she only saw him use on the guys, never her. He put a hand on his hip. “And you’re going to keep an eye on her while you fight?” The question was rhetorical.

“Keep an eye- Pope, I think she’ll be fine.”

“And that is why you’re not taking her, thinking you can leave a girl alone with that group of people!”

��Will and Frankie will be there, and you could be too if you weren’t being such an old man.”

Sant shook his head. “She’s not going.”

“It’s her choice, not yours.”

Laci suddenly felt their eyes on her, waiting for an answer. She didn’t want to disappoint Benny, she wanted to see him fight, she wanted to do something different. But Santi was everything to her, her whole world. She looked at Santi, suddenly closing up. Great. Her words were lost on her again. Laci shook her head at him, making a little wave and squinted face. ‘Nah, nevermind’ She knew Santi would understand what she was saying.

Santi looked at Ben “See? She doesn’t really want to go”

Ben groaned loudly, looking at Laci. She just shrugged.

“Fine. Whatever. Come on, she should get going.” Ben stood up motioning to Laci, who followed him to put her shoes on. Converse. Actual converse, not the knock off’s Laci tried to get. Actual converse Santi had insisted on when he saw her eyeing them.

Santi suddenly looked nervous, quickly washing his hands. “Are you sure you don’t want me to drive? I can put this off until evening?” He nodded at the plumbing he was not doing well on, then looked at Laci, almost pleading. Laci and Ben were going to the mall by themselves for a particular reason , a reason that banked on Santi not being there. He kept trying to invite himself along. This was the first time Laci had gone anywhere without Santi. At most, she occasionally watched Rosie alone, but that was always under the watchful eye of Frankies in-home security cameras.

Laci tapped Benny, signaling him to take over.

“We’re good Santi, we don’t want to be here when you explode sewage all over the house.”

“I’m not gonna-”

“She’ll be fine, Santi” Ben insisted.

Santi sighed. “Fine, have fun on whatever mysterious mission you refuse to tell me about.” He grumbled more to himself than anything.

Laci gave a little wave and a smile, and Santi waved back before they headed out the door.

When they got to the mall, Benny noticed how much Laci tensed up. Maybe the reason she was always attached at Pope’s hip wasn’t entirely his possessive nature. He reached a hand out, open palmed. Laci looked at him questioningly, but when he smiled, she took his hand.

That was the thing about Benny. It was so much easier. Nothing was loaded, nothing had to be read into.

It’s just them.

Ben guided her to the antique store. Last week, Laci had texted Benny asking if he could help her get something to surprise Santi. It took some convincing for Santi to let them go alone. Benny and her couldn’t come up with a good reason as to why Santi couldn’t come; Laci didn’t really want to lie anyway. So they told him it was a secret. Laci wandered through the busy store, hand tightly gasped to Benny’s as she searched. It had to be perfect. It had to be perfect because he was perfect. He did everything for her without complaint. It had to be perfect.

“There it is”

After Laci made the purchase, Benny bought them Panda Express at the food court.

“Fuck, I gotta piss” Benny complained as finished Laci’s left overs and threw away their trash. Laci scampered after him as he headed to the bathroom, grabbing his arm before he went in. “I don’t think you wanna come in here, honey” he laughed, but Lace looked at him wide-eyed, gripping his arm. “Oh come on Lace, you’ll be okay for one minute, I swear”

She continued silently pleading with him, eyes glancing to the busy mall and back to him. ‘Don’t leave me’ her eyes begged.

Benny softened. “Look, I know Santi treats you like a child, but I promise you are not as delicate as he seems to think. If you really, truely, do not want to be out here alone, I won’t go. But…” He looked at her pale blue eyes, nervous, but thinking. “But I think you can do it, and I think it’ll be a big step towards things being normal.”

Benny watched her think for a moment, smiling softly at her so she knew it was up to her. He had to piss so fucking badly, but if she really couldn’t be alone, he’d wait. Slowly, he felt her let go of him, step back, and nod.

Laci waited outside. Eyes watching all the feet that passed by. Back to normal… how was she supposed to go back to normal after everything that had happened? How was she supposed to go about her normal life again? Would that mean leaving Santi? Did getting better mean he’d leave her? Would she even see Will, Ben, and Frankie again? Rosie? Or was she just their charity case?

Ben emerged from the bathroom, immediately being tackled by Laci despite her being a foot shorter than him.

“Oh god, are you okay?” He wrapped his arms around her, assuring her he was there, she was okay. “Everything alright?”

She peeped her head up from his chest, grinning. “I did it!” She half laughed.

“You sure did!” Benny lifted her up, swinging her around as she laughed. “Great job!”

“Benny?” Laci asked as he set her down.

“Yeah?”

“Did you wash your hands?”

As they walked out to the car, Ben didn’t want today to end, not when Laci had been making such big steps. When Ben had mentioned to Will he was taking her to the mall without Santi, Will had started in on him about how now is not the time for this and Laci isn’t someone he should be getting involved with like that, and how Ben knows Santi and her have something going on. It took some convincing for Will to realize they were just friends, and jesus, Ben doesn’t only think with his dick, he thinks with his head too. Laci needed a friend, especially with how Pope is. Ben loved Santi with his whole heart, he respected him, even had crush on him back in the day.

But Santi was intense. He was a lot. First and foremost, Santi was a protector. And right now, his focus was solely on Laci, and that focus was single minded. Laci would do anything she thought Santi wanted. Santiago Garcia was the kind of person to make you want to be your best self for him. Ben knew better than most how, when that intense gaze was focused on you, you were practically powerless. You wanted his approval, you wanted to make him smile, you wanted him to love you, whichever version you could put forth.

“We can go anywhere, do whatever you want, or just go home and see if Santi flooded the house yet.”

Sam smiled nervously, but replied. “Could we maybe… theres this park near home with a patch of woods, maybe we could go there?”

He laughed “What, Santi not taking you to parks?”

“He does! Well…” she shuffled her feet. “We walk around on the path, he doesn’t like me going off it, climbing around… I thought maybe we could explore a bit?”

Ben wanted to lecture her, tell her that she didn’t need Santi’s permission, didn’t need his okay to do anything. But he lectured her enough for the day. He wanted her to have fun.

When Laci and Ben finally walked into the house that evening, it had started to get dark. Ben was holding a decorated paper bag, both of them sopping wet and covered in scratches.

“Oh my god, Laci” Santi hung up the phone, speed walking around the count and took her into a strangling hug. “Jesus, where have you been? Why are you soaked?”

Laci tried to speak, but words failed her, as they usually did in these moments.

Words did not fail Benjamin Miller.

“Relax, Pope, she’s fine.” He insisted.

Santi’s soft, worried face turned to Ben, hardening. Ben knew what was coming.

“What the fuck did you do to her?” He continued to hold Laci’s arms, pulling himself back to skan her. Scraps covered her arms and legs, nothing bad but Ben knew damn well this would send Santi into a fit. When Santi zero’d in on someone, he really zero’d in.

“I didn’t do anything, we went to the park and explored, and we fell in the water… and fell down a few other things.”

“What?” Sant’s confused, annoyed glance went back and forth between Laci and Ben. “Why?”

Benny leaned in for emphasis. “Because she wanted to, Santi. And you don’t let her”

With that, Santi let go of Lace, walking over to Ben. “I don’t let her? I have been worried about her the last 3 goddamn hours, you were going to the mall and back, you couldn’t tell me you were going somewhere? I was just on the phone with your goddamn brother asking if he heard from you because I didn’t know where you two were!”

“Jesus Christ, Pope! You’re acting like she’s your daughter who broke curfew, she is a 29 year old woman!” Ben gestured towards Laci, glancing at her, checking in. She was standing there nervously, mouth closed tight. Benny hoped she’d speak up, call Santi out, but he also knew it took years before Ben stood up to him.

“Excuse me?” Despite the hight difference, Santi sized up to Ben.

“Fuck, Santiago, you treat her like one of Fatimas’s porcelain dolls, I know you have a bunch of unprocessed feelings about-”

“Don’t talk about her.” Santiago’s voice was deadly calm. Ben knew better.

He raised his hands defensively “You’re right, you’re right. I’m just saying, she’s not as fragile as you think she is” Ben continued to glance at Laci whenever he mentioned her, trying to coax her into the conversation. Santi was single mindedly on Ben.

“Why does everyone say that? I don’t think she’s fragile, I’m just trying to help her.”

“You’re not helping her if you’re keeping her dependent on you.”

Santi blinked back at that “I’m not-”

“She about near had a panic attack when I went to the bathroom, man.”

Santi’s eyes widened. “You left her alone at the mall?”

Ben groaned “Santi, it’s fine, I was gone for one minute…. And then another minute when I went back to wash my hands.” Ben’s eyes met Laci’s, catching a small smile on her face.

Santi scrubbed his face. “Jesus Ben, that’s how people get sex trafficked!”

“That’s not-”

“I think I know how people get sex trafficked, Santiago.” Laci’s voice broke through the boys argument, louder and more irritated than either man had heard her.

Santi turned around, mouth slightly agape. He moved to talk, but Laci put a hand up. She was shaking, but fought to keep her words.

“Can you” She made sure to point at Santi, not Ben. “Stop talking about me like I’m not here?”

She watched a mix of emotions flit through her face. “I’m sorry, Laci.”

Ben watched her, hoping she’d say more.

“It’s okay, Santi. I’m sorry we didn’t text you, when I fell in the creek, Ben tried to help and fell in, both our phones got waterlogged.” She suddenly looked really guilty. “I’m sorry, Ben says it’ll be okay but if it’s broke I’ll pay you back-”

“I’ll pay for it if it’s broken, Pope.” Ben interjected.

Santi shook his head. “No, it’s fine. I’m sorry for overreacting” Santi looked over to Benny as well, as good an apology as Ben ever got.

“Alright, I think ima head out.” Ben looked at Laci to make sure she was okay, then started to leave. “Oh, almost left with this.” He handed the bag to Laci, then walked out with a wave.

When the door closed, Santi and Laci’s eyes met, Laci with crossed arms.

Santi’s eyes glanced at the bag. “That what you’re mysterious trip about?”

Laci softened. “Feels kinda silly to give it to you now, after Benny’s doll comment.”

Laci saw Santi look at her with… wonder? He seemed mesmerized. “You got me something? H-how?”

She smiled, as the tension in her leaving. “Here” she handed the bag to him.

Carefully, Santiago took the bag, hands shaking. When was the last time someone bought him a gift? He pulled out a porcelain dolls, dressed up in beautiful Victorian dress, complete with a hat and umbrella. “Lace… how did… how did you get this?”

Laci was rocking on her feet, wringing her hands, taking in his reaction. “Frankie always paid me when I baby sat, I told him not to but he insisted, so I saved up and got you this, to go with the others!”

Santi, for once, was speechless. He stared at the doll, feeling his eyes watering.

Laci watched him, his face almost blank. She couldn’t read it, she couldn’t figure out what he was thinking. For all his ability to read her, she could not read him. Did she cross a boundary? Should she have been saving the money to move out and stop bothering Santiago? Was it wrong to buy him something to put with his dead sisters items?

“Sorry, I probably should’ve asked about it, is this wrong-” anything else Laci was about to ramble on was cut off but Santiago settling the doll on the counter and wrapping her up in a hug. It wasn’t like the hug when she came through the door, it wasn’t possessive. She didn’t know what it was, but she never wanted him to stop.

Santiago woke up his house alarm system going off, every nerve in his body suddenly alight. Laci. Laci. Protect Laci. Grabbing the gun in his bedside drawer, Santi burst through the door, first scanning the front door. Nothing. He turned to his left to see the sliding glass door leading to the patio, and a figure in the door. “HANDS UP” He pointed the gun at the person in the door.

She screamed.

Laci screamed.

Keeping the gun out until he was sure they were safe. “Laci? What’s going on?”

But Laci was standing there, hands up, eyes clenched shut.

Laci, despite the loud alarm, heard Santi run over to her. She flinched when he touched her. What was he saying? Was he talking to her? Logically, he knew he wouldn’t hurt her, he’d never hurt her, but her body didn��t know that. She was frozen. As Santi checked the surrounding area, making sure there was no impending danger, Laci tried to focus on her breathing. It’s okay, it’s okay, it’s okay. You’re okay, it’s just Santi, Santi wouldn’t hurt you, you’re safe with him, safe, safe, safe…

The alarms turned off, and Laci felt his strong arms wrap around her shaking body. She clung to him, clung to him with everything in her. Was he talking to her? She didn’t bother listening until she calmed down. Finally, she heard him.

“Lace? What’s going on? You alright, Muñecita?” He stroked her hair gently, an extra bit of comfort, calming her.

She nodded.

He sighed, ever so slightly, knowing this meant he wasn’t going to be able to get a word out of her.

“Did you need something outside?”

She shook her head.

“Did you just want to go outside?”

She nodded. She needed air. The fight, even though it didn’t concern her as much as it did Benny, as well as the big steps of leaving Santi and being left alone had left her shaken. When Santi didn’t come out to watch tv with her, the room had become stifling and lonely, so big and so small at the same time. She was happier outside, in nature. That’s why she explored with Ben, much to Santi’s chagrin.

“Here, honey, let’s step outside then, get some air?”

She nodded against his chest where he held her close. He knew her so well.

Laci slowly opened her eyes to be greeted with a softly smiling Santiago, his beautiful face so close to her like so many times before. His eyes alone comforted her.

“Hey pretty girl” He spoke gently, letting go briefly to grab a throw blanket he wrapped around her, taking her outside to the bare deck. “Sorry, I promise I’ll order some furniture tomorrow. You can pick it out, whatever you want” That’s another thing about him. It was his house, his home she was intruding on, and yet he apologized to her for not having patio furniture. “Can we sit on the floor?”

Laci nodded. Santi helped her sit, laying her down so her head laid on his lap. She felt his hands in her hair, fingers gently stroking her cheek. For a man who had seen and done so much, he had never been anything but gentle with her. For most of her teen and adult life, Laci had chosen men who were loud, exciting, boisterous, much like her brother. They weren’t always bad, loud men weren’t always the ones to hurt her. Her brother was as extraverted as they came and he was everything to her. Benny was her best friend. But Santi? Santi had a calming quality, something she needed. Something she cherished. Something she never wanted to be without. She’d do whatever it took to keep him.

Santiago watched her, watched her carefully. He had scared her really bad, he knew that. He knew he was a dick today. Benny had been getting him more and more riled up lately, and although Santi would like to blame it on Ben just being more annoying, he knew that was just rationalizing it. He was jealous. Plain old jealous. Jealous of the time Laci and Benny spent together, jealous at how relaxed Laci seemed to be around him, jealous over how much Laci talked to him. She seemed to freeze up less with him around. Did she like him? He was almost certain Benny wanted her, well, who wouldn’t. Look at her. Ben was a good guy. Santi knew Ben wouldn’t just want to have sex with her; he could get that anywhere. If Laci wanted to be with him… so be it.

But damn if Santiago didn’t want her to stay. Stay with him forever, really. Right now, under the moon, she was damn near ethereal. He thought of their song, oh how fitting it had become.

You in the moonlight, with your sleepy eyes

Could you ever love a man like me?

Could she ever love a man like him? He was broken, he was a disaster, he was rough around the edges in a way Benny was not. He’d change. He’d do better, he’d be better, whatever she needed him to be.

Laci looked up at him. She needed something. He brushed a wisp of hair from her face. “What is it Muñecita?”

Laci held one hand out, palm out, and waved another hand over it. Sign language for music.

“You wanna listen to something? Yeah, let me grab my phone-” He standed to get up, but felt Laci’s grip on his thigh as she shook her head.

Stay

“What… what you want? I’m sorry, I don’t have my phone on me…”

Laci fully rolled over, back of her head on Pope’s thick thigh. She reached a hand up and tapped his lips.

Sing

Santo let out a nervous puff of hair. “You want me to sing? I’m not really… I’m not a good singer…”

But she looked at him pleadingly, begging him… how could he say no.

“Okay, okay Lace, but I warned you.” Santi winked, kissing her nose. ‘What do you want to hear? Leather and Lace?”

She shook her head.

“Uhhh, Songbird?” Her favorite Fleetwood Mac song.

Another no, she frowned.

“A Bob Dylan song?”

Another no, she was growing frustrated, her legs fidgeting. She was trying so hard to talk, she wanted so badly to just tell him…

“Hey, hey Lace it’s okay, don’t worry, we’ll figure it out… is there a clue you can give me?”

Laci though for a moment. Then, she reached for his wrist, pointing at his watched.

“Oh. Tanto?”

Laci nodded, smiling. It was a song that was obviously so important to him, but she hadn’t heard it yet.

“I can sing that… I only know the Spanish, is that okay?”

She nodded. Santi stroked her face, playing with her hair.

Tú dices que: soy imposible de descifrar

Callada, reservada y temperamental

Que te encantaría que me expresa un poco más

Y hablar de sentimientos a mí no se me da

Pero lo voy a intentar

Santiago combed back her hair away from her face, scanning over her features. His eyes fell over the scar on her forehead. He thought of when he first found her, her forehead bleeding and dried blood on her face. It always upset him to think of everything she endured, and he had to bite back the anger that sss inside him.

Te amo tanto

Tanto que me siento tonta

Tonta que me duela tanto cuando tú no estás

Te amo tanto

Y para que imagines cuanto

Cuenta todas las estrellas y súmale una más

He was everything to her, her whole word. She knew that even when she no longer needed him for a place to stay and for the things he provided, she’d need him for him. Santiago Garcia was her center of gravity, the only thing keeping her grounded and sane. She wanted this forever. The days with Benny, Will, Frankie and him. The nights alone in his arms.

Soy reservado no lo tomes personal

Tanta cursilería, me suele incomodar

Si me quedó sin palabras no es intencional, ja

¿Cómo expresar algo que yo no sé explicar?

Pero lo voy a intentar

His eyes were drawn back to hers, finding them glued to him. He was damn near transfixed. Pope could not imagine a more perfect moment, he wanted nothing more than for this night to last forever, just them. He’s doing her every song he knew. Laci and her sleepy eyes, only open to look at him. Santiago had neer been in love before, but he was starting to think this was it. She was everything he could ever want, and she was laying with him, of all people

Te amo tanto

Tanto que me siento tonto

Tonto que me duela tanto cuando tú no estás

Te amo tanto

Y para que imagines cuanto

Cuenta todas las estrellas

Y súmale una más, ja, y súmale una más

Laci was engrossed in his eyes. Beautiful and brown, she felt she could be content looking at them for the rest of her life, nothing else. Still, she scanned over his features on his beautiful face. Strong jaw, large nose, thick curly hair with a hint of gray from all the stress he had seen. His face with lines that carried every horrific thing he had witnessed. Perfect. He was perfect. And he was singing to her, his beautiful voice in his native tongue. Perfect.

Te amo tanto

Tanto que no sé explicarlo

Tanto que hasta yo me espanto

Solo de pensar

Santiago wasn’t a religious man, but tonight, he looked up at the sky, all the stars sparkling at him. He thanked God for bringing him to her, thanked God that it was in time, thanked him that she was alive. He thanked Him that the scar is the worst of her physical scars, and that she was coming along so well, adjusting as well as one could expect. He thanked God for her.

Te amo tanto

Tanto que me siento tonto

Tonto que me duela tanto cuando tú no estás

Te amo tanto

Y para que imagines cuanto

Cuenta todas las estrellas

Y súmale una más, ja, y súmale una más

Laci wanted to kiss him, she wanted to hold him, to kiss him, to feel him move inside her. She wanted to spend the rest of her life with him, like this, with him, with him… Only Santiago. She wanted to tell him she loved him. Laci wanted to scream at the top her lungs that she loved him and god, did he love her? She opened her mouth.

Santi looked at her patiently. “Yes, Muncecita.”

She tried. She tried to get it out. I love you! I love you! I love you! But nothing happened. Words couldn’t find their way to her lips. Her eyes were fighting to stay open.

Santiago kissed her forehead, prompting her eyes closed, and they didn’t open.

“It’s okay Lace, go to sleep. I’ll be right here.”

When Santiago felt her breathing slow and her snoring start, he carefully scooped her up, carrying her inside the house and to her bed, her legs instinctively wrapping around his waist and arms around his neck. Cradling her head, he laid her down on the pillow. With one more kiss on her cheek, he whispered.

“Goodnight, Lacina, I love you”

*******************

THANKS FOR READING!! reblogs help a lot, comments mean the world!!!

Spotify playlist: if anyone has songs you think fit, comment it send an ask!

I would take the handful of you who are passionate about this story that a hundred likes. The fact y'all get so excited and leave such nice comments means the world to me

If you'd like to join the tag list, let me know!!!!

@littlenosoul @bensolosbluesaber @milkymoon2483 @gogh-with-the-flow @itspdameronthings @trinkets01 @p0edameronswife @welcometostayingawake @spxctorsslxt @username21mk

#santiago pope garcia #benny miller #benjamin benny miller #santiago garcia x reader #santi garcia fanction #santiago garcia #oscar isaac #triple frontier #triple frontier fanfic #triple frontier fanfiction

111 notes · View notes

vampire-exgirlfriend · 6 months

Note

I think one thing that's interesting about both Daemon's marriage and arguably Viserys/Aemma, is that these are arranged matches. (And in the book version, it would not shock me if Viserys was ordered to consummate when Aemma was 13, though we don't know.) Meanwhile their grandparents, parents, aunt and uncle, and cousin Rhaenys all had love matches. Viserys rolls with it, Daemon... is more likely to chafe just on principle, even if he'd liked Rhea.

Then Viserys gets to remarry to someone he chose (and in the show, he and Aemma seem to have become more, for all it was worth little in the end for Aemma). And he still won't give Daemon an annulment.

I've had mixed thoughts on Daemon since long before the show but his bitterness about his first marriage has always made sense. He's a bit luckier than your average girl married off bc as a man and a dragonrider, he can take off, but that just leaves him rootless, and the thing about Daemon is you HAVE to give him something to do.

god i want to rub this ask all over my face.

i think alysanne realized the way that jaehaerys' grip had slipped in raising their children. and then their children started dying. i think her decisions came from a place of genuine fear and a need to protect her family in a way that would also suit the realm, though it becomes heartbreakingly obvious that all she did in the pursuit of this was tear them apart and lose a base understanding of who her children and grandchildren were. we see this with viserra's betrothal to theomere manderly as well, and then again with daemon. marriages are going to be arranged in this type of universe, it's just a fact, but alysanne and jaehaerys had a very "do as i say, not as i do" attitude about it.

i think that not annulling daemon's marriage was purely done of out spite on viserys' part. the marriage was not consummated and there was no reason to let it stand, especially if rhea also wanted to be let out of (which is just an assumption on my part, but there's obviously no love lost between these two). they already held the vale in hand via aemma being the queen, and all of the armies and houses who were loyal to house arryn, so there was no real reason, other than some potential chafing on runestone's part that could have been smoothed over relatively easily. but this is just part of the pattern with viserys in relation to daemon; it's how he keeps him in check, he how he keeps him from getting any further loyalty or power.

daemon certainly has worlds and away more privilege than a woman in the same situation would, i just find the parallels fascinating and i love how grrm flipped the trope on its head in his marrying of daemon and rhea.

#daemon targaryen #house of the dragon

8 notes · View notes

cenedrariva · 2 months

Text

20 Questions for Fic Writers

Tagged by @redlightsandicedtea

How many works do you have on ao3?

What's your total ao3 word count?

865,962

What fandoms do you write for?

I've written for a few different fandoms but the main ones were Harry Potter, Supernatural, and The Untamed. I've done a few fics for other fandoms like Naruto and Star Trek and Kuroshitsuji

Top five fics by kudos:

Red Azalea (songxuexiao)

Soul Magic (Harry Potter & Voldemort, gen)

Eyes that can see in the dark (Harry Potter/Riddick, crossover)

Exclusive Exceptions (Harry Potter/Tom Marvolo Riddle)

That time Dean and Cas dated for a year and no one noticed (destiel)

Do you respond to comments?

I do. My inbox just has a lot of comments right now and i haven't gotten around to it

What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Either Echos From The Void or Missed Heartbeat

What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Magic Trains or Technicolor Beat

Do you get hate on fics?

Not really. I get weird comments sometimes, where its a bit like "commenter are you aware that i am a real person who can read this?"

I got a few comments once asking when wangxian were gonna show up and start making out which was weird bc the fic isn't about either WWX or LWJ, and also its set while WWX is dead

Do you write smut?

Mostly only as short sex scenes in multichapter fics

Craziest crossover:

Eyes that can see in the dark. Its set centuries in the future where Master of Death Harry is like now some weird immortal non-human entity who is holidaying on a death world and then a ship crash lands there and the survivors have to get off the planet before nightfall when the giant evil bat monsters Harry's been chilling with take to the skies and eat every living thing they find. Harry takes an interest in Riddick, a violent criminal who is now the best chance for the survivors to escape.

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

I don't think so.

Have you ever had a fic translated?

A few times. Red Azalea has a translation, its linked in the fic. A few others got translated too.

Have you ever cowritten a fic before?

Yes lol its called Lacustrine, it was for the @spncoldesthits bang, i wrote it with @hitthebooksposts. the objective was to write the fic that would get the least hits and interaction

All time favourite ship?

Songxuexiao

What's a wip you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

Hide, so I can seeQ its about Picard and Q, where they were both Qs but they get in an argument about the best way to experience mortal culture and make a bet that PiQard can't live an entire mortal life without accessing his Q powers.

What are your writing strengths?

I think i'm good at worldbuilding and emotive writing.

What are your writing weaknesses?

I don't think i write intrigue very well. i make things too obvious.

Thoughts on dialogue in another language?

I don't really write in languages other than English, which is my native language.

First fandom you wrote in?

Inuyasha. Its an angsty oneshot called Poisonous Thoughts

Favorite fic you've written?

Magic Trains. The entire time i was writing it and every time i reread i just giggle. its so silly

tagging: anyone else who feels like it

#tagging games

2 notes · View notes

fakeosirian · 1 year

Note

Zevistair and Alistair/Anora for the ship bingo! (Also hi!!!!)

OOOOH VERY INTERESTING ONES

zevistair:

this one is a Very Recent consideration/revelation for me and honestly. kinda obsessed and i wish i had been into it when i was first playing origins a couple years ago/makes me want to start a new file to Observe them more

bulleted thoughts:

i love the idea that their character arcs are sort of going in...opposite directions? if that makes sense? like despite the fact they have similar brands of tragic backstory, the actual circumstances of the tragic backstory diverge such that zev is recruited into an order that makes him distrust people and alistair is recruited into an order that, in his mind, is the only people he CAN trust, but in the game itself zev is "softening"/opening up and alistair (in more interesting characterization directions lol) is hardening/losing his naivete its So Cool

attempted murder is ? because that's more the warden than alistair but it's close enough that i think it'd be a bit for them LMAO

the specific combo of zev being super forward sexually/a bit harder to reach romantically (iirc i need to replay origins Stat) and alistair being very forward romantically but inexperienced sexually is...Very Good for ship dynamic/conflict purposes...

besides that tho they're just silly. like they both make jokes and do the hahas. what more could you want

alistair/anora:

so full disclosure i've never done a playthrough of origins (or at least not gotten to the landsmeet with a warden that had this as the plan of action) with alistair and anora co-ruling which may be coloring my opinions A Lot but i'm glad you asked about it because i've been meaning to think up a scenario that i'd want to use it for (ive kept alistair as a warden, married him myself, and had him rule alone hardened fwiw)

my ideal scenario/conception of this is absolutely a like. starts literally Zero romantic interest. probably some degree of contempt, even. but through a comical series of events they end up doing pretty much everything couples do besides really "having feelings" in such a way that they're like. ticking off boxes on the Businesslike Relationship List and Getting a Good Grade in Marriage. like ok honey great work out there today. we had a functional discussion about what dishware we want to purchase, planned our next ten years of children, and practiced a polite amount of public affection while negotiating with a diplomat. here's what's on the docket for tomorrow. and through that practicality they become fond for each other? sort of? idk i still think lingering contempt is a Hallmark of their vibes and what makes it work for me as a concept

i can...sort of see them developing proper romantic feelings for each other on like Year Fifteen of Marriage maybe but tbh its more a hard-earned-despite-the-circumstances-respect flavor of romance like. you are a Stable Feature in my life. and not so much "storybook" romance which tbh would be really interesting for a character like alistair to have to work through considering How He Is in his warden romance (and iirc you Have to harden him to even do this so itd be...neat to dovetail that with that element of his development specifically re: i have to call up the desire for romance i had before i Lost My Innocence as a mask for the public to idealize re: our marriage/rule and its legitimacy but also i do not believe in it anymore. we love a lil cognitive dissonance)

probably obvious from how i talk about it but tbh not something i "ship" LOL not even in a "they're so toxic it's fun" type of ship way...idk they are a narrative device to me. the most fun they can have is a divorce arc

tysm this was very fun!! i think i'm going to go find the mahariel save file i started a bit ago and hope i remember what i was doing bc that warden would 100% shove alistair and anora together LMFAO

#ammoniteflesh #answered #hoping i didnt get details wrong bc im not prepared to fight for my life re: dragon age discourse. fuck it not even tagging it LMAOO

2 notes · View notes

mlynar-nearl · 1 year

Note

the amount of pulls you just said was insane sorry, did you just say 290 for ling/lee? and 170 for gavalter/pozy? absolutely insane that is some. wow. (can i say anything i hand mhy my wallet like it is free)

ok but yeah i can see like.... why. i mean. i love old man nearl i want him, i want him now so i can finally get started on my nearl family agenda and have to m9/mod3/maxlvl everyone in the nearl family (i love them little lovelies) and i have only done this with nearlter but blemi needs rocks and i hate rocks i hate farming 1-7 with a passion i have literally postponed farming rocks so much i have like 7??? un-e2'ed 6*s just bcs they need rocks (and also bcs they are not meta lol)

ur wallet is terrifying. anyways will u max pot the old man? i feel like u wld tbh but like complete guess.

and yeah most ppl will talk abt honkais story instead since it is pretty good, but i like the gameplay very personally, like... im a sucker for good hack-and-slash games (that i can play on mobile bcs idh a pc oop) that also dont require *that* much brain and honkai has honestly filled up that for me lol. its nice its flashy i press buttons its a win-win

but yeah before that, for the longest time, it was just arknights that stuck with me and its really obvious why bcs its a really good game (even now ofc tho sss pains me in every way possible) and i still do is2 all the time for fun even tho ive maxed out my candle level for weeks alr like hell yeah !!! i love this game!!! i burn out sometimes but i usually get back within one or two events (hence my incomplete guide ahead + the one medal missing from lingering echos + i only completed medal set for tw on the rerun) but yeah i love arknights and sometimes i wish i had more friends to yell abt it !!! watched the concert (the one with phenomenal agents and i was rly sad that i couldnt talk abt it to anyone properly)

ah once again sorry for the length, but i would love to hear what other gacha games you play as well ! personally i am a gacha game only person (my standards are a bit low sometimes) and i dont play much outside of gacha tbh. ah and of course, have a nice day !

i pretty much only pull on limited banners which is why i could put in that many for gavial and pozy without dipping into the wallet that much. ling and lee, on the other hand, THAT shit hurted my money. for my arknights pulls i basically set myself a number of rules that rely on the slight delay between CN and global that let me think out ops in advance and such. essentially, i allow myself one operator release between limited banners to actually invest in, based on how they look, their mechanics, and what i like in a character. so mlynar is my one between gavialter/pozy and omertexas/penance, simple as. GG was a previous "one." so was surtr. unfortunately this system does mean i have to skip characters that i do like- for example, i prio'ed GG over gnosis and fiammetta, who i both really enjoy as characters- because i ruled that GG has the most utility that i can take advantage of in my average playstyle and her global range is just too good at covering for my smallbrain moments. so for that reason, i normally have around 17 ten-pulls saved for each limited banner including the free ones that you get (meaning i average around 175 pulls since i throw in a few singles to make it nice and even.) ling and lee were an exception since mr lee just decided to fight me on it. to this day the only operator released on a limited banner that hasn't come home is irene and that's because i put foresight in myself and reminded myself that gavialter and pozemka would be upcoming in a much shorter gap than between ling/lee and specalter/irene, and i would regret it if i went all in for irene. the primary goal is always the operator who will be impossible to get at any other time of the year. yes i plot these things that far in advance like a general going to war. it's how i Survive . i've been doing it pretty much since i started when the limited to save up for was W.

i don't intend to pull for maxpot on mlynar for this reason. even with him sitting at my all time favorite character in the game, it doesn't fit my standard of pulling. eyes are ahead to omertexas and penance once he's home. though i do have idle plans to use any royal guard tokens i get on him. i would like him to be maxpot someday but given that i generally roll with the broad goal of collecting as many characters as possible, it's incompatible for the moment.

rn i indulge at feh and genshin at the request of my friends who do play them. i do enjoy genshin and it's a fun time killer- it's a shame the fanbase is So. i try not to indulge in gacha games unless they're recommended to me by friends, and arknights was, in fact, a rec when it was fresh enough (i think right after partial necrosis dropped because i had the frostnova lore explained to me as a hook.) i started right at the tail end of nian's banner. most of the vibeo games i play are non-gacha to avoid the hurts to my wallet that mr lee put on it. at least with arknights i can feel like i'm actually paying them for a good game PFSDLGH.....

#ash answers #anonymous #i tend to be of the opinion that a lot of gacha games are exploitative which is why i dont really do them unless recommended #though when i was younger i was very into mobile gaming

2 notes · View notes

midwestvalleygirl-moved · 2 months

Note

It's the "Casual" by Chappell Roan lightsayu anon again, and I'm so glad you see the vision. Honestly, I only sent in that ask because I was going insane from thinking about them as that song so much that I had to tell someone else about it. It's the blur between normalcy and intimacy (or what is perceived as normal levels of intimacy) when it comes to sibling relationships...yeah that's "Casual" if I've ever heard it. Also, the almost one-sided yearning of the song is so little sister deeply in love with her older brother who's only fooling around with her. Like, Light Yagami is her role model, her idol, her big brother, but he's got this whole god of the new world thing going on, so the growing distance between the Yagami siblings makes Sayu feel neglected and used. I just think we as a fandom need to talk not only more about Light and Sayu's relationship but also the built up tension and bitterness between them. I think it's pretty common knowledge that they're very close with each other and Light cares about Sayu a lot, but even good sibling relationships have fights and disagreements and hate each other at least sometimes. Regardless of how close Light and Sayu are, I think it's safe to say that a little bit of mass murder and kidnapping as a side effect of the aforementioned mass murder would have driven quite a wedge between the two siblings. Oh, another thing: car sex to me is so very incestuous, like fucking in the family vehicle that's parked in the driveway/garage to avoid getting caught. That's why the chorus reminded me so much of lightsayu in the first place. Anyways, I hope this makes sense, sorry for rambling, and thank you for the kind reply!

anon i love and adore you. you are seriously so big brained to me.

i relate to the feeling abt going insane abt them but having no one to confide in -- why does almost no one else see the vision !!!! i know its taboo bc incest but come on.... from what i've heard the old dn fandom back during livejournal days was much more raunchy so what gives. what's a little sister complex between serial killing fascists

anyway. my god the one sided yearning. you KNOW sayu thinks the world of light and how could she not? he's like, the perfect older brother. he doesn't even lock his door to her until he gets the death note -- it's obvious they're extremely close and that , even tho he's a little psycho, light does care about sayu a lot. enough to help her with her homework routinely and hey, even saving her from being killed in order to further his secret life as kira. he literally won't kill sayu to further his own goals. that's a sister complex if i've ever seen one

and i agree !! id love to see more exploration between them, not even in an incesty way just in a dynamics way !

a while ago i thought up an au where light "wins", but by wins i mean he lives out his life as kira for a few years before getting bored and "retiring" into the countryside to take care of sayu, who has become disabled after the kira kidnapping incident + their mother's death. and it didn't start off with incest in mind, but the more i thought up scenarios for them and the more it came to life in my mind (and even , a little bit in the writing i've done for the au) i just. yeah. they're just soooo siblings in love. and the kira rift between them would create such amazing angst and drama. in the au light grows to regret being kira because he sees what a negative effect it's had on not only his mental health, but his sister's as well. something something. my god. these bitches are each other's only exceptions. and they're siblings and in love and i love them

ALSO INCEST CAR SEX YOU ARE SOOOOOO REAL ANON. ANON I LOVE YOU. please never apologize for preaching the gospel in my inbox. please if you ever feel inclined again i would love to talk with you about them. cheers and i hope you've been having a good week so far <3

#light/sayu

0 notes

enbeees · 1 year

Text

You know Chat-GPT is SO fun (and let me tell you right now, getting it to write a silly story or script with existing characters is so fun bc it gets personalities SPOT ON) but it genuinely worries me that so many people seem to trust it implicitly to the point of even admitting to using it instead of Google or whatever (idk maybe its all tech bros but I see this uncomfortably often)

Like oh my God do NOT do that! Aside from problems with memory in long conversations or games, it WILL make up answers and create fake sources for them! Not to mention that the guidelines and censorship mean you may not get the full accurate answer in the first place.

Like I've tested it with Chat-GPT and You.com (which i believe uses the same technology) and as far as I could tell, they purposely skirt around "uncomfortable" topics if they were in an answer, or outright give incorrect information to avoid them.

Tests below readmore. They include spoilers for Fate/Zero!

Now there's a BUNCH of incorrect info in these, which is obvious if you've seen the show.

Chat-GPT:

- Risei did not provide Kirei with Gilgamesh

- While Gilgamesh and Kirei do have some differing views and Kirei doesn't particularly like him at first, they ultimately form a partnership because they're so similar

- Kirei's fate was definitely not left open-ended.

- The exact details of how their partnership was formed were shown in the anime. They were a major plot point, even! We saw basically every detail!

- Kirei did not manipulate Gilgamesh into working with him, Gilgamesh essentially manipulated Kirei into working with him.

- Do I even have to mention that yes, Kirei stole Gilgamesh from Tokiomi

- Kirei does not "encounter Gilgamesh during a battle," he's been working with Tokiomi and Gilgamesh seeks him out to hang with him because he finds him interesting, and Gilgamesh heavily suggests they form a partnership

- By the time Kirei has teamed up with Gilgamesh, Gilgamesh and Tokiomi are very much not still Master and Servant

You.com chat:

- Right off the bat it fucked up because apparently Kirei has now stolen Illya's servant at some point?? He is not and has never been Berserker's master

- Kirei isn't really known for his magecraft?? I mean I guess I can get this bit because he is exceptional at it but he doesn't focus on it and that's the whole reason he had to train alongside tokiomi before the war

- I'm not touching the "his goals are related to the origin of the grail itself" i mean,,, in a way, i guess??? But not really??

- Kirei and Gilgamesh do not have a complicated alliance fraught with tension and conflict,,, those two team up and just have the fuckin time of their lives for the rest of the show (also kirei is very much not gilgamesh's advisor)

- Again, they didn't form a partnership without Tokiomi's knowledge (well, in the beginning they started to), he was dead by the time Gil became Kirei's servant

- Do I even have to say anything about the fact that it claims Kirei never did anything to Tokiomi or acted against him in any way. Especially the "there is no direct conflict between them that results in harm being done to Tokiomi by Kirei." bruh

Like okay, we've cemented the fact that it gives inaccurate information quite often.

But I assume due to its own bias and guidelines in being wholesome and positive all the time, if you've watched the show, you'll realize there is a major, major plot point that it seems to continuously skirt around, leave out, or even lie about (looking at you you.com).

Kirei fucking killed Tokiomi!

I did manage to get chat-GPT to admit it with "what did kirei do to tokiomi" but you.com, as you can see, straight up lied when I asked that question.

So like idk maybe don't consider an ai trustworthy when it comes to accurate information, especially when said ai will skirt the truth and leave out important details to avoid talking about "dark" content, and especially when it is often just outright wrong?

#fate/zero spoilers #ai discussion

0 notes

intothegenshinworld · 2 years

Note

hi hi its me again i loved how you did my request and its so good!!! i am probably going to idea dump sorry anyways so what if c!reader knew how to play the guitar and woke up and teyvat just gave them a guitar after they were like 'i wish i had my guitar to destress because this is very stressful' and then one of the acolytes hears them playing in their room but the lyrics are in their language and sad and self-deprecating but they dont know that so they just brush it off until they hear the reader playing again later and its like alien blues or something but theyre speaking in teyvat language. ok so that was idea one (this might get a bit long sorry about that) NOW LET ME PROPOSE TO YOU FLOWERFELL READER, AN IMMORTAL READER THAT CAN STILL DIE BUT GETS REVIVED AT LIKE THE WINDRISE TREE WHERE THEY WAKE UP!! they like wake up with flowers coating their face after they fall out of a tree because the CLIMB instinct was strong and suddenly oops i cant see out of my eye uh oh!! idea 3 so what if reader didnt actually go to the main nations and just lived in like a tree or something and got food from the squirrels and foxes that climbed the tree?? and next, may i propose, reader with tattoos or seaperson reader from like luca or something!!! but also just sleepy zoned out reader and really clumsy c!reader or reader with hearing aids!?! hhh reader with a HUGE sweet tooth like larger than ei's but also reader who just radiates warmth and reader who is absurdly flexible and like put their ankle behind their neck flexible-- thank you for coming to my ted talk and i have SO many more ideas but jf9aj

WARNING: mentions of death, not graphic or detailed, but I'll put a warning anyways.

Okay so- Flowerfell AU but Angsty Sagau!Venti x reader?? Once upon a time, he takes you on an adventure (maybe you're flying with him????) and it doesn't end well. You wake up at Windrise but somehow your vision has changed. Now growing from your left eye, there are many cecilias covering your vision. Que the angst with Venti wanting to protect you but it keeps happening no matter what he does? And then after your last death, he keeps waiting at Windrise, but you're too covered in flowers to talk or move??? 👀👀

Or with Angst Imposter!Sagau. You died during the hunt for the imposter. When you died and revived yourself, it was obvious to the people that you are the real deal. Sadly, your vision is already gone since flowers are covering your face.

OR reader getting teleported to Tevyat, either as the creator/isekai AU. Them not wanting to interact with people bc they are supposed to be 2D? You're not ready to talk with people who seemed so out of reach from you. SO, you're just living in the wild. Chilling, and if you're a SAGAU reader, hillicurls and slimes will provide you food and comfort.

AND HOW I LOVE HEARING AIDS READER!! I was born half deaf in both my ears, so I've been wearing hearing aids my whole life!!

You really make my brain go brrr with ideas,

I might write a short thingy for one of these but all of them are good and it's hard to choose AAAA

Also, I'm supposed to finish chapter 5 of sagau. It's done, just sitting there, but I need to edit it before I can publish it.

#ask #genshin impact sagau #genshin #genshin impact #sagau #sagau x reader #genshin x reader

86 notes · View notes

impalementation · 3 years

Note

if you're interested, i'd love to hear your thoughts on That scene in empty places, bc the way that i've seen most people talk about it doesn't always feel very nuanced and like... i get being frustrated and i for sure think some extremely unfair things to/about buffy were said, but i don't think it's as cut and dry as buffy being totally blameless (even though i love her) and everyone else (particularly the main scoobies, who don't have her responsibilities but have fought alongside her and earned the right to disagree w her imo) being terrible. Like it may have gone too far?? But idk, I have trouble articulating why, but I think there's more nuance to the situation than people want to say, so I'm curious about your thoughts

Anonymous asked:

whats your take on empty places and the scoobs kicking buffy out of her house?

Anonymous asked:

Why did Buffy allowed Dawn to kick her out in Empty Places?

Wow, so many questions about “Empty Places”! Sorry, as ever, that these took me a while to get to.

I actually agree, I think there’s more nuance there than it’s given credit for. I talked about that a bit in this post a while back. I wouldn’t say that the character build-up to that scene is as well-executed as it could have been, but it hardly comes out of nowhere, and it’s not some random thing. Or, as I’ve seen people suggest, simply there to make Spike look good and push him and Buffy together. I’m sure their romantic arc was a factor in the storytelling, but to call that the only motivation seems to me a vast oversimplification and dismissal of ideas that were built over the course of the season.

Season seven is, as I’ve discussed before, about how the Slayer system is broken. It’s a system that isolates Buffy and puts all of the decision-making in her hands. Meaning that it’s a system that is neither good for her, nor good for anyone around her, no matter how strong and brave Buffy is. All season long, we see Buffy struggle with both the limits of her power, and the demands of her authority. She wants to be able to save every girl, and fight every ubervamp, but she simply can’t be everywhere and stronger than everything. She wants to be a caring friend, but when she’s the one who has to make decisions about whether people should live or die, she can’t always be. When she’s the one who has to make all the hard choices, that means the blame always falls on her shoulders. When she fucks up, there’s nothing for her to fall back on. The fact that Buffy is forced to be this kind of sole authority means that the people around her are right to feel that they aren’t being listened to, or fully considered. Because often they aren’t. They see the people around them getting maimed and killed and suddenly realize that maybe it isn’t right that all their eggs should be in Buffy’s basket. But at the same time, they’re wrong, because they’re the ones who put their eggs there. They’re the ones who kept looking the other way as Buffy made hard choice after hard choice on their behalf. They’re as complicit in (and victimized by) the broken system as Buffy is.

Keep in mind the season’s perception themes. Everyone gets mad at Buffy, and Buffy gets mad at herself, because they’re all too close to the situation to see that the problem isn’t really Buffy, it’s what being the Slayer has forced Buffy to be. The dynamic it’s forced between her and the people around her. Notice how in the very next episode, Faith finds herself dealing with the exact same problems that Buffy was. The same hard decisions, and the same ambient resentments. It’s actually very important that Faith has to be a leader for a bit, in order to show this--the fact that the problem is being the Slayer, not Buffy. I’d even argue that it’s the much more thematically relevant motivation for the scene than getting Buffy and Spike alone.

As far as thematic motivations go, I also think it’s crucial that Buffy is thrown out of her house. That is some powerful symbolism for a season that leans so hard into the symbolism of Buffy’s house in general, and it’s disappointing to see people ignore it in their eagerness to be mad at everyone. The house is a lot of things—the familiar, the stable, the normative, the safe—but most importantly it’s also Buffy’s self. Notice how Spike and Faith, both Buffy’s shadow at different times, hang out in Buffy’s basement: the realm of the id and subconscious. Notice how as the house breaks down, Buffy gets injured as well.

So for Buffy to be thrown out of her house, it’s the climax of the season’s isolation themes not just in terms of story, but also metaphor. She has literally been cast out of herself. She’s been banished from her identity and role. But at the same time, once she’s on the outside of that myopic, claustrophobic system, she is able to connect with her shadow (Spike) and see the situation with new eyes. The reason that Spike is the one who can talk Buffy back is that firstly, unlike the Scoobies, his later seasons arc is all about learning to not ask Buffy for things that aren’t appropriate--romantic reciprocation, moral structure. Secondly, he was once the tool and symbol of her isolation, the icon of her shame and guilt and belief that she needed to isolate herself. For her to make peace with Spike is about her rejecting that isolation and shame, and transforming it.

Of course, I can talk about symbolism all I want and it doesn’t necessarily matter if the writers didn’t make it believable on the object level too—the level of character and plot and all of that. It’s a regular problem on Buffy, the writing caring more about symbolism than sense. While I think that most of the characters have adequate motivation for the scene—really, it’s been building from the beginning; remember the confrontation between Buffy and Xander as early as “Selfless”? or Buffy fighting with Giles and Wood two episodes earlier? or the way she argued with everyone in “Get It Done”? or the Potentials doubting her from basically their first episodes?—the one character that seems truly undeveloped is Dawn. She got that warning from the First in “Conversations With Dead People”, but the season doesn’t follow up on it well enough to draw a clear line between that seed of doubt and her attitude in “Empty Places.” Given that Dawn is Buffy’s “humanity” or “youth” or what have you, it’s symbolically significant that she would be the final one to cast Buffy out. But that seems like a clear case of the story not earning its metaphor, unfortunately.

To answer the third ask: as far as why Buffy let Dawn kick her out, on a character level I think she was pretty defeated by that point. But symbolically, I think the part about Buffy’s human self rejecting her is important for that. Buffy has a tenuous relationship to her belief in her humanity at the best of times, so it’s pretty easy for me to believe that she would feel lost and numbed enough by being rejected by that part of herself, that she wouldn’t fight it.

(Controversial opinion, but I actually kind of like that “Empty Places” isn’t due to the First sowing obvious discord. I’ve seen lots of people suggest that that would have been the stronger and more believable choice, and I get the instinct. But if the point of the season is to show that the villain is the Slayer system, then it makes more sense for that to be the thing that drives the conflict, and not an external force influencing them. There might have been a way to use the First that was compatible with that, but it wouldn’t have worked if the problem was just The First. Imo, of course.)

All of which is to say, that if you see the season as being about faulty perception, broken systems, and the dangers of isolation, then “Empty Places” actually makes perfect sense as a climax of the season. The problem really comes down to whether you think it was earned enough (which in some cases I think it was, and in others it wasn’t), or generally handled well, and whether you think those ideas are interesting in the first place.

#s7 #askbox still closed for now but i'm working my way through the backlog!

99 notes · View notes

fitzefitcher · 3 years

Note

honestly i've been seeing bastion as like a Buddhist-ish place with ancient greek aesthetics, bc letting go of your earthly attachments to be enlightened is pretty Buddhist. 'If you meet the Buddha on the road, kill the Buddha. If you meet your father, kill your father.', that kind of thing. i haven't thought of it as a Light place at all, though i can see why others do.

so there's. a lot of things I would like to cover in answering this, and I'm honestly dreading it a little lmao buuuuut I will do the best I can. I have a lot of thoughts about Bastion, and about the Light, so I'm going to take this as an opportunity to explore that. so: content warning for discussion of religion and religious trauma, esp in regards to identity erasure.

full disclosure: I'm an american queer that was raised roman catholic (specifically, roman catholic within the confines of a heavily irish-italian community) and currently identify more as like. an agnostic apostate, would be the closest thing to describe it, I think. generally, while I'm not really crazy about organized religion as a massive institution capable of doing absolutely wretched things to the people it alleges to helping (and by no means am suffering under the delusion that it hasn't and won't continue to do these things so long as oppressive systems of power are in place, just like it would be in any other area, not just religion), I also acknowledge that there's a lot of good in it, too, and it's the cornerstone of many people's community, culture, and identity. ultimately, my opinion is that religion is a tool, and whoever's holding that tool decides its purpose and intention. it's. a complicated matter lmao.

I'm not going to pretend I'm an expert on buddhism, here. obviously this was not the religion (or any of the many cultures its beliefs are centered in) I was raised as, and honestly even the research I've done for this feels like it's barely scratching the surface. so, rather than try and argue or explain something that is really out of the realm of what I'm familiar with or have experience with (esp. something that's not really mine to claim), I will try and explain things from my own experience as a queer AFAB person raised as roman catholic. and speaking from that perspective, it is very incredibly obvious to me how much of bastion was lifted from christian theology. not just the aesthetics of it, all of the weird identity conformity shit, too. the way that kyrian ideology is being used here, is as a tool to enforce this conformity.

same with how the Light as a concept has been developed in recent years- there are no longer any significant differences between the way individual factions use and interact with the light, even though as cultures their views on it should be radically different, or at least different enough that they don't feel like homogenized versions of each other. like, there's no real difference between how the humans view the Light, and how dwarves view the light, and how gnomes view the Light, and it doesn't really feel like there ever was. Nelves' view on it used to be characterized pretty strongly and differently, as did trolls and draenei, but the longer the years go on, the more that they sort of blend together. to get back to your statement, "I haven't thought of it as a Light place at all," I find that very difficult to parse as a statement, as Bastion as a whole has been developed from base concepts of the Light. Like, Kyrians were designed from spirit healers, spirit healers are now confirmed to be Kyrians (for some reason), and all of the aesthetics of their magic, their clothing, their environment are all heavily priest, paladin, and light-inspired. everything is golds and marbles and sky blues, when they become "corrupted," they suddenly become shadow-themed, like all greys and blacks and purples, their wings turn black, etc. but the similarities, and all their short-comings, go much farther than that.

so the general story thread of each area of the shadowlands in this expansion is that things aren't as they seem, right? that their individual systems are beginning to fall to internal corruption and are crumbling under their own weight. and we see this in each of the trailers- the houses of maldraxxus are starting to eat each other, ardenweald is slowly starving to death, revendreth's citizens are being choked with heavy demands from the aristocracy, and bastion is struggling to adjust in the face of new, unprecedented problems, unwilling to change their ways, even when it's explicitly obvious how badly they need to change. like, I've talked about this a little bit before- the trailer and the way it's structured led me to believe that we, the players, are meant to be hanging out with Devos and Uther, trying to help them convince Devos' boss that very obvious bad thing that's happening, is happening. And this is about how it goes for the other trailers- we learn about the betrayal of Draka's house in maldraxxus, and the maldraxxus storyline is centered on helping her figure out what happened and pick up the pieces. We learn about Ardenweald's rapidly shrinking resources and dying environment, and the ardenweald storyline is centered on figuring out what the cause of this famine is. We learn about Revendreth's aristocracy and how they're demanding more and more of the common people, and the revendreth storyline is centered on overthrowing the increasingly tyrannical cruelty of their current leaders and helping the common people, with the help of a leader favored by the common people. And I feel like, given the state of things, and how the IRL world as a whole has been going the past couple years, helping Devos and Uther get to the bottom of this, maybe even helping Bastion adjust and change in the face of these new challenges, would have been a very good, insightful storyline, and very appropriate for the times we're in.

This, clearly, is not what happened lmao. Whether or not they'll decide to develop bastion further, at least in terms of addressing its failings with its own people, is up for debate, but based on WoW's previous history of similar stories, I'm not very confident lmao.

so I will touch on that statement of bastion being a "buddhist-like place" for a moment, I did look into buddhism a bit, and while I very quickly realized that there wasn't really a way that I could discuss this at length in a way that's fair (esp. with how many variations and cultures there are centered around it, again, I am not an expert, I am doing the best I can with the information I have), the very very bare bones basics of buddhism that I can find more or less boil down to, yes, letting go of earthly attachments to attain enlightenment. but this is not really a nuanced assessment of buddhism, and tbh, isn't really the goal of the kyrians' purification rituals. sure, at first glance, it seems to line up- shedding the burdens of their mortal lives in order to achieve ascension- but ascension here, is not enlightenment. buddhist enlightenment, from what I can find, seems to be the act of breaking free from the cycle of death and rebirth and from mortal suffering. kyrian ascension is the act of, not breaking free of that cycle, but tying yourself to it for an eternity of service. and living your life (even an eternal one- especially an eternal one) in the service of others is a really strongly christian concept. and the kyrian's concept of virtues only strengthens this. the fact that kyrians have virtues at all is heavily christian-coded, and on top of that, the virtues they have feel like they've been lifted directly from christian beliefs. also like. they're literal fucking angels, trying to earn their wings. like. there's not much else I can think of that's that heavy-handed lmao.

let's talk more about those virtues, though.

the kyrian virtues are as follows: purity, humility, courage, wisdom, and loyalty. There are a number of variations on christian virtues, but here are two of the main sets: one set lines up as the ideological opposite to the seven capital sins (or seven deadly sins if you're an FMA fan lmao), and the other is more-or-less what is accepted in contemporary belief. This is what I was taught in sunday school/CCD, so this is what I'm a little more familiar with.

so set 1, the heavenly virtues, are: chastity, temperance, charity, diligence, patience, kindness, and humility, and set 2, the contemporary virtues, are split further into 2 groups: the cardinal virtues, prudence, justice, fortitude, and temperance, and the theological virtues, charity, hope, and faith.

So humility, courage, and wisdom, are pretty straight-forward in terms of what they represent, and line up pretty neatly with humility (lol) from the heavenly virtues, and fortitude and prudence from the contemporary virtues. To touch on those briefly, humility is exactly what it says on the tin, and acts as an ideological opposite to the capital sin of pride, fortitude is bravery and endurance as well as patience, and prudence is reason and self-discipline, esp in terms of handling yourself and how you interact with others. And these are perfectly fine as principles. the ones that set off alarm bells for me, though, are loyalty and purity.

as kyrian virtues, they don't really line up to any christian virtues from either set. but tbh, this is beside the point- the fact that purity and loyalty are considered virtues, at all, especially in combination with each other, at best feel very suspicious, and at worst openly hostile. and the way this is covered in game only enforces this. purity is only obtained by sloughing off pieces of yourself that the kyrians consider obstructive to your ascension and how you can serve the Purpose, and questioning this or any other aspect of their ascension ritual gets you sent to the temple of loyalty to, ostensibly, stay there until you Get Your Priorities Straightened Out lmao. Like, there's no exploration of why these purity rituals are being questioned to begin with, there's no examination of why the rituals are necessary to begin with, and seemingly, prospective kyrians are punished for even asking. like, for a faction that seemingly prides itself on helping their members becoming their best selves, it feels strange that the reaction to their unsure members is punitive instead of therapeutic.

at this point, the link between the kyrians' beliefs and christianity should be readily apparent. it's no secret that over the centuries, christianity has used as a tool for oppressive systems to dominate marginalized groups, both within its ingroup and without. "purity" in christianity is less a virtue and more a heavily enforced, wildly contradictory idea, hiding itself in mealy-mouthed platitudes about being a Good Person or Becoming Your Best Self while simultaneously, stringently punishing its own members for daring to step a toe out of an extremely arbitrary line. like, I remember going to church growing up, and in the same breath that the head priest said to pray for various members of the community (thoughts and prayers, lmao), pray for [insert local sports team here] to win for their upcoming game, he also said that yes, democrats are corrupting the country. yes, homosexuals are going to hell. mass was an exercise in enduring misery most of the time, and a big reason I stayed closeted from my family for the majority of my life is because of this, and I still am, in many ways. I still have to divvy myself up in bits and pieces to become Socially Acceptable enough to appease my extended family, and there are certain family members that I will go to my grave never having come out to them, because I know they will never accept me for who I am, truly. so to have purity be a kyrian virtue with no further examination, no trace of irony, and to have loyalty as a virtue to back it up, feels, at best, extremely tone-deaf.

when you quest alongside kleia and pelagos, you see these purity rituals, and you see how large a toll they take on them. you see pelagos struggle, and you as the player help him overcome the difficulties he faces- difficulties he could not overcome himself. you see kleia, over time, becoming more and more disgruntled with bastion's governing body as a whole, and finding more and more cracks in the kyrians' concept of purity. but no lessons are learned, from either of these. nothing is examined further, and I have doubts that it ever will.

you, the player, see other kyrians, who previously were orcs, tauren, trolls, draenei, all these non-humans, being stripped of their identity, ostensibly for the reason that it will make them more just and fair a judge, a concept that rapidly falls apart the longer you look at it. the idea of all these sentient creatures from all these walks of life, particularly the ones heavily coded as BIPOC, are to be stripped of their cultural identity and made into Homogenous Standard (white-coded) Blue Human is so intrinsically malicious that it is genuinely baffling that it was even seriously considered as an idea, let alone greenlit and put into the game. prospective mortals are scouted to be kyrians theoretically for the lives they lived in service of others, in justice and kindness and wisdom, and then they are made to give up more and more pieces of those lives, rendering whatever they've learned, whatever experiences they've gained, that made them this person that the kyrians sought out in the first place, an utterly pointless and redundant endeavor. things like kindness, wisdom, courage, are not inherent qualities. They are things that have to be learned. They are things in which the context of them is paramount to how they will be measured. So to say that it is Necessary to do this, to make them Fairer, to make them More Just, feels both stunningly nonsensical and just pointlessly, nihilistically mean.

so what does this have to do with the Light?

well, in recent years, it seems to be steering more and more towards the idea that only correct religion within WoW is the Light, and there's only One Way to be Light. Early on in WoW's development, it was established that yeah, shadow has a bit of a reputation and can certainly be misused, but nobody's arguing that the Light can be misused, too, and that neither shadow nor light are inherently good nor inherently evil- they just Are, and each serve their own purpose in this world and its way of things. I had written a post about this like. several years ago, and a lot of it hasn't aged very well (I will not link to it bc woof, it was Pretty Rough to look at again after seven years lmao), but the gist of it was that Light and Shadow, are less like good and evil, and more like the Force from star wars. Well, a more nuanced force- again, Light is not Strictly Good, Shadow is not Strictly Evil. They are merely opposite sides of the same spectrum, but they are not inherently antithetical to each other. It was less a religion/belief system with an established deity, and more just reverence for the universe and its workings as a whole. Yes, it has the markers and drapings of christianity, particularly in its aesthetics, but the actual belief system didn't really lift anything from any particular christian belief system, and didn't really match up to any one of them, besides, again, the aesthetic of it. The Light now, however- now it does have a lot in common with christian beliefs. or at least, it and the church of the light have a lot in common with the mentality of those with strong christian beliefs. Which is to say, again, there is only one Correct Religion, and it's Light, and there's only One Correct Way to be Light. other religions within wow are either condemned, painted as savage, violent, heretical, or watered down so much that they either don't matter or function as mere Extensions to the light.

last summer, when I was reading the "before the storm" novel as research for my sylvanas essay, one of the many, many things that made it a difficult read was how like. unintentionally, thoughtlessly intolerant Golden had written it. Anduin, one of the main characters in it, despite having a history of kindness, compassion, curiosity, and understanding, is kind of shunted into being a 1-dimensional Good Christian Boy(tm). Like, he struggles with interacting with the forsaken, despite them having been in existence for over a decade at this point, and more than half his lifetime, and despite having dealt with them before, and orcs, and tauren, and a great number of other non-human creatures, while still treating them with grace and dignity, and respecting their perspectives, experiences, and beliefs. like, he's painted as thinking that the netherlight temple would be an alliance-only, church of the holy light only affair, and is really surprised, even stunned, at the thought of having to interact with non-alliance, non-light priests. and something that really really stuck with me while reading this, was that Anduin, this compassionate, intelligent, understanding person, could only learn to interact with priests of other factions and species, despite having already done this before, many, many times in his life, on the basis that They, Too, Are Servants Of The Light. and there's just. no examination in this. no irony. Light is Right, Others are Not. No lessons were learned.

#warcraft #ask tag #god I guess I should tag this as #essay tag #Anonymous

24 notes · View notes

dreamerandcrazy · 3 years

Text

Ok, so I haven't been able to comment much on my Riverdale rewatch mostly bc i'm watching it with my boyfriend and we have an agreement of no cell phones when we're watching, otherwise we can't pay proper attention to it. But I wrote down some notes about the episodes I did watch (I watched up until ep 6, which is very ironic bc apparently today is its anniversary, so yay for my perfect timing). I actually remember most of the stuff that happened in s1, so here's mostly a few things I paid more attention to or noticed about the characters and the ships, or things i'm able to look at through a different view now that i've watched all the seasons. Strap in if you want to see my notes, if not just scroll please, no ship or character hate here please. Also, feel free to ignore, this is really just a personal look in some stuff I didn't notice in my first watch.

- Betty's character used to be much happier and lighter in season 1. I know we're introduced to "Dark Betty" right in episode 3, but still, I feel like the way Lili played Betty in season 1 did not hold the same "darkness" as it does in the following seasons. The scene where she is dancing happily in her bedroom because she's going to homecoming with the boy she likes? The scene where she introduces Jughead to the Blue & Gold and gets him to work with her? Her genuine innocent happiness at seeing her sister again after so much time? The way she interacted with Kevin and Veronica? Those were all chef's kiss because she actually feels like a teenager in them. In all her girly glory, she radiates youth energy and it's a thing that was sadly lacking after s1. Btw this is not a critique at Lili's acting at all, I blame it entirely on Ras and his obsession with dark Betty.

- There's actually so many indications of Cheryl being a lgbt character in the first episodes that I have no idea how I missed it the first time. But then again, there were many indications with Veronica as well, and sadly that's not the path Ras chose for her.

- Jughead in s1 is truly so superior in so many ways that it's not hard to see why he quickly became such a fan favorite. I think even if he wasn't played by Cole Sprouse, he still would have conquered many fans' hearts. Sadly, the things that made Jughead such a loving and interesting character for me also fizzled out in s2 when the writing team decided to make him a woke serpent leader instead of allowing him to sticking to his true personality as a passionate mystery lover, a dedicated friend and very nerdy, which was very cute. I feel that we got some of that back for him in s4, which was good, but sadly s1 is where my love for him really stayed to stay. But I still care for him, and s5 has a promising storyline for him which i'm excited about, so let's see if s5 Jughead can become better than s1 Jughead.

- Going back again to Cheryl for a sec, I just noticed that the red lipstick actually wasn't that common for her in s1? At least not in the first five. I wonder when did it start becoming her trademark? Anyways, it's actually a really good look her and allows you to appreciate Madelaine's natural beauty even more.

- Also, did anybody notice how Alice lowkey figured out who killed Jason in ep 2 lmao, like... in episode two she legit says she wouldn't be surprised if the Blossoms themselves had killed Jason, which... is what happened LMAO, considering we know it was his father. And even more hilarious and tragically ironic note, in ep 6 she's laughing at Betty suggesting that Hal killed Jason because "do you think your father has the stomach for it?!"... Ma'am... i'm-.... 😂😂😂😂.

- This rewatch has reminded me of how much I adored and how I much I miss Josie and the Pussycats. The girls were such a nice addition to the cast, and their songs were so beautiful. I truly wish we get to see them again someday, but at the same time I also think the actresses deserve to be at a work place where they're given the treatment they deserve and not completely ignored and treated like extras.

- Archie/Valerie was super cute and is very underrated in the fandom, but i'm glad Valerie stood up for herself and didn't take any of Archie's or Cheryl's sh*t. Still sucks because they were really good together, though.

- Why was Jason not allowed to talk, lmao? Like, i'm sure it's become a running joke in the show at this point, but back when season one was airing what was the excuse for it? He appeared in so many flashbacks and scenes and we still never heard a single word ☠️☠️☠️☠️. I just want to know what was the reason lol.

- I liked s1 Reggie, but I feel like Charles Melton's Reggie is better because he actually feels like a douche with good intentions lol, and he has more of a personality. Most of the time I even forgot about Reggie in s1, but after s2 he definitely made me more aware of him. So for that, I like Charles Melton's Reggie more. But the actor from s1 still did a good job with what he was given.

From now on I will be talking about the ships, so bear with me, and know that I am a multishipper. Yes, I have my preferences. No, my word is not law, it's just an opinion, so please respect it.

- Bughead is still super cute in s1. I feel like from s1 they will always be my otp, even if I no longer feel as strongly about them now and have a different insight as to where I would like their story to go, and now I definitely see the problem others had mentioned before of how they kind of took over the show, which is something I kind of closed my eyes to before... But I really loved them in s1. It felt like a very juvenile teenage relationship, they didn't give much thought on why and if they should be together, they just went for it like teenagers usually do, and they were very very cute together.

- I feel like if you don't count Beronica (because they really were the best no matter what you say or ship), if there's a ship that deserves "best chemistry" award for s1 is probably Varchie. I lost my interest in them years ago, but this rewatch reminded me of why I actually loved them once. They never really became an otp for me, but Kj and Camila's chemistry in s1 was VERY GOOD, and I really liked them. Their kiss in the pilot was electric and the s&xual tension was OOF, and that chemistry carries on through the season. You can easily tell something will happen between them eventually. It makes me sad bc I don't know what happened after s1, but their chemistry from s2 onwards was just... not there for me. Which is ironic bc it's the season they truly started dating and they got a lot of smexy scenes, but I just... didn't feel it. But I'll leave that comment to my s2 rewatch. For now just let me enjoy Varchie's chemistry in s1 while it lasts because it was really good.

- Now we get to Barchie, who I made clear was the reason for my rewatch, so let's get to it. I LOVED the way Barchie was written in s1. I remember when I first watched Riverdale, I was curious about their dynamic but didn't put much thought into it because I loved Bughead too much and wanted them to be together, and I thought Barchie would be the traditional "first og ship" thing and wouldn't have a big follow up, but boy was I WRONG and am I GLAD for it. I'll talk more about their development in the next seasons when I get there, so for now let's focus a bit on s1. Just in like the first two episodes, there is so much Barchie foreshadowing, like, it's legit insane how it was right there in my face and I missed it the first time! "I have never felt what i'm supposed to feel with betty", "it's not my fault he doesn't like you", "I can't give you the answer you want"... Omg, those are obvious eyebrow raising "this will come back to bite you in the a$$" moments and it's incredible how they actually DO! I would call it clever writing, but like... it's Riverdale lol. So I really am just glad that the ship was done this way, i'm glad Barchie has the back story that they do, they've really come a LONG way and i'm happy I get to experience their whole growing storyline. It's also especially good because s1 actually provides you with scenes that show you their friendship and how they're so close, you see them hanging out, talking, their pictures together, everything was just really done well with them. Still have a bit of critique with the way Archie contradicted himself sometimes regardinf his feelings for Betty, but let's be honest, we've watched enough Riverdale to know that's just a problem with the writing.

- Kevin/Joaquin is still my favorite Kevin ship, i'm sad it's completely impossible to go back to them someday so for now i'll just be really glad it existed and that I got to see them even if it was short-lived. They had great chemistry and their kiss scenes always outsold.

- Beronica... sigh. Beronica. The most wasted chemistry i've ever seen on CW and I've watched a LOT of CW shows. There was so much potential there, s1 was practically overflowing with them and it's one of the reasons it became some popular. I remember when the Beronica fandom was the biggest one, ah, good times. Veronica and Betty were easily the best part of season 1, their friendship, their lowkey romantic moments, they were just superior in every way. This ship deserved better, not even just as a ship, but as a friendship.

- Veronica's s1 hair >>> Veronica's hair in seasons 2-4. I loved the side part and I am glad it's back in season 5, it looks so much better like that.

- Cheryl, as always, deserves better. Can't wait for her to meet Toni so I can watch again Cheryl finally get to love someone and be loved back, which is exactly what she deserves.

For now, that is all! I will probably make another post soon when i'm done with season one and from season two on I will be live-blogging the episodes since I will be watching it alone. Once again, pls, no hate, my thoughts are my thoughts. Peace.

#bri rewatches riverdale #riverdale #barchie #choni

10 notes · View notes

aresrl · 3 years

Note

I hihi I am!!! A little nervous w/ doing this bc I've never done this b4 so please bear🐻 w// me💦 May I request a match up? A vision, a romantic partner and maybe a friend and/or enemy? If that's too much feel free to just assign me a vision + partner, ehe/// Preferably male for a romantic match-up, but either gender is fine with a friend and enemy match-up^^ I tried to be as detailed as possible but I think I ended up just ranting, so im v v sorry if it's long! I sort of fluctuate when it comes to being an introvert/extroverted. W// strangers and irl, I'm very introverted and shy!! Rarely speak and if I do it's just the usual "Hi how are you? That's good. I'm good too, thank you for asking:)" yeayea I'm not too. Keen on social interaction irl. But I always do my best to be very nice!! I never wanna come off as mean bc wow what a bad first impression that would be. But with friends / ppl ik online?? Whew I am very very friendly n chatty ^^ Either very high energy or very chill, there's rarely any inbetween. Sometimes I like to jokingly tease my friends but I'd never go too far / make them uncomfortable!! And if I do I always apologize right away!! I like to say that I'm affectionate?? My strongest love language is def physical affection, if not quality time. Idk man there's just something about vibing with someone or hugging them that just aaaaa/// Although I usually display affection w// words of affection bc. Literally most of my friends are online friends so I can't actually hug them, sad times. Idk if this is needed/important info but I just remembered: I'm 5'6 around??? Need glasses bc. Whew i am blind (near sighted), I'm poc (specifically black) anndd, hm. Actually I think thats it for this section, aha. As you can see I'm, not really all that organized. Also I don't have the best attention span - while writing this I'm circling between 4 different apps - and I'm a bit of a mess. And also a little stupid. Just a smidge dumb. But I have my moments - I solved like. 2 puzzles in Inazuma by myself so I think that counts for something. I also find that I tend to talk a whole lot when I have an idea or smthn to say abt a thing I'm super interested in!! That's info-dumping. I info dump. Yes. I also really like to listen to other people talk abt things they like!!!! Its so nice :) I'm protective over people I care about!! I've never done it but 100% would bark at someone who messed with someone close to be. Arf arf yaknow. I tend to he impulsive. I'll do something, and be all "YEAH>:D" and then regret it later. And then I'll do it all over again in a fun little cycle :) I consider myself an optimist, but quickly turn into a pessimist whenever it concerns myself. Fun funfun. Should probably mention that I am. A very insecure person w/ dangerously low self esteem, which is super fun esp when you mix that with the fact that I'm rarely ever motivated to improve. Yayayay Also sort of a pushover?? Like most often than not I'll be convinced to do something, even if I'm not too keen on doing it. Also afraid of confrontation when it comes to my friends and strangers (that is, if it's concerning me!! I'll order smthn for my friend but if I need to order for myself?? uhh stutter time aha). I'm also a mega simp ahah! Srsly though if I fall for someone/get infatuated with someone I. Will be so obvious abt it even though I try very hard not to be. Would gush over that person probably. I don't really like mean people tbh. Like yes I'll be nice and civil with them but!!! I cannot stand!!! Rude people!!! Esp when they're mean for no reason like sir??? maam??? homie??? chill pls ty<3 People who aren't necessarily mean, but moreso have bastard energy and are just really "hehe>:D" but playfully are p poggers tho!!! I think I get along with kids!! I have a little sister,, around like. Nine? And we get along really well!! I also try and match a kid's energy whenever I'm tasked with looking after them. I take pride in the fact that kids like me >:].... even if they sometimes scare me-- Ok, interest time!!

I like art!! Quite a bit!! Less of a realistic artist and more of a cartoonist!! Idk there's just something fun abt drawing cartoons, hehe. I also like self ships - I have quite a bit of them, actually ! Idk its comforting drawings your fictional crushes loving you idkidk. I like writing too! Both original stories, and one-shots or personal fics that are associated with already created media!! Writing character backstories and personalities and stuff is also fun too! I've even made my own fictional world with a full fledged backstory n everything! It's very fun to think about. I'm a day dreamer!!! Yea remember when I said I write stories? I day dream abt potential stories even more. Mmm daydream world so nice so warm so fun I read aswell!! Mostly fantasy books, or stories where animals are the protagonists. Think Warrior Cats. But my favorite book series has got to be Guardians of Ga'Hoole. Fantasy owl books, anyway! X Readers are also things I enjoy reading :) Again, s I m p Also gaming!!! Is something fun I do sometimes!!! Although it's usually Genshin Impact, or Wii Sports/Resort w// my little sister. Oh, also pokemon! I rlly like Primarina, Vaporeon, Sylveon and Vulpix/Ninetails! I absolutely adore sweet foods, and baking is smthn I'm def interested in! Don't like foods w// weird textures though, like beans or mashed potatoes. Also I. Love spice so much. Mmm love it when my mouth burns so bad. Don't have a favorite animal but I've had three cats in my lifetime (btw not important but my current cat is named Sylvester and. He's my baby boy) so I am. A very big cat fan. Probably not needed but I really like sword and claymore characters. Literally all of the characters I main are either sword or claymore users. Although I did get Diona, so I miiight start forcing myself to learn how to aimmm. I see that I tend to like people/characters that are a little more extroverted than me. Upbeat, happy type beat!!! Nice sunshine babies, :) I think thats it! I hope this was good enough? Again, first time doing this (at 2am nonetheless) so forgive me if I got too rambly or did anything wrong ^^ Thank you for taking the time out of your day to read this! And I hope your day is good / you had a good day, depending on when you read this, ehe!

Hey! Sorry if the wait has been long! I also love Warrior Cats (I promise myself, one day I'll finish it.)

You received... A Pyro vision! Optimistic, enthusiastic, impulsive, reckless, and a lot of energy are the general characteristics held by the Pyro vision. • I hesitated between the Pyro and Hydro vision, but your energy distinguishes you from the Hydro vision. • You said you were impulsive, always doing something you might regret later but still doing it. • You react quickly: as you said, if somebody hurt someone you love, you won't think twice before barking. Your partner would be... Xingqiu! “This feeling was unexpected.” • At first, you were just friends, and Xingqiu really loved to tease you. Actually, you both teased each other. But eventually, a feeling of love towards you grew into Xingqiu. And that was reciprocated. • Your relationship is filled with teases, jokes, and good/funny moments where you mostly share what you commonly appreciate. • He also knows when to get serious: for example, he does everything to support you during your moments of struggle concerning your self-esteem. Your friend would be... Childe! “Luckily, I'm here!” • You two also share funny moments, especially during situations where your “stupidity” is overtaken by his insight. • Sometimes, he finds you cute. • He likes the fact that you get along well with kids. It leads you to great moments with him and his siblings. • You're quite the opposite in terms of self-esteem. I think it's a good thing because it makes you complementary. Your enemy would be... Albedo! A misunderstanding. • You wouldn't hate each other, but I think Albedo wouldn't like the way you use your energy, and when you're more in a chill mood (meaning you're more available for him to talk), he could get pissed at how much times he'd have to repeat himself for you to understand something. • He's very patient, but he understood quickly that his interests would maybe not be within your reach. • You would just be too different. Worth to mention • You and Venti are like drama queens in Mondstadt. You are good friends. But you both know that you can't be more, as it would eventually both drag you down (because of similar problems). • Klee is also your best friend: both of you share decisions that you definitely will regret later. Or maybe not. • Hu tao and you are kinds of silently competing over who's the best tease, and she beats you. My goal is definitely not achieved. I hope I can catch up tomorrow. And don't worry, it was surprisingly good for a first description!

#genshin request #genshin matchups #genshin #genshin impact

4 notes · View notes