#and was confused for months why i felt absolutely miserable. time at a snail pace. wanna cry and/or kill/maim the customers

[parakeetpark]

Figured out my truth

Gotta have fizzy energy drink exactly 2h before my shift ends because then I'm super happy

Then get asked in good faith "you having the time of your life today??" because I'm laughing at my colleagues messing around and singing under my breath etc and answer "Yeah actually!!" And notice my good mood

[lailannajacobs]

Heart to a Gunfight - Chapter One

Pairing: Bucky X fem!reader

Summary: You didn’t want to help Bucky Barnes make it through the party by pretending to be his fake girlfriend, after all, you had just met him. You also didn’t plan on the charade lasting as long as it did. 

Warnings: All fluff! 

Word Count: 3k 

A/N: Getting really excited about this series! If I wasn’t swamped with school, I’d have the parts out much faster! I’d love to know what you think, tags for this series are always open! <3 

Links are in my masterlist! 

Previously: 

“Can someone tell me who that is?” You interrupted, your voice equally as low as theirs.

“That’s Bucky’s ex-fiancé” Steve tore his attention away form his friend, a somber look in his eyes, “She left him at the alter two years ago and he hasn’t seen her since.”

Heart to a Gunfight | Chapter One

“What?” You demanded, craning your neck to get a better look at Bucky and Kira conversing at the far end of the yard.

“I said she’s his ex-fiancé” Peggy repeated, a sour look on her face.

Although you had to admit that the two of them had probably made a stunning couple when they were together, it was hard to get past the look of pain - or constipation - on Bucky’s face. You had only just met him, but it was clear to everyone around that he was in no way enjoying the conversation he was having.

“I can’t believe it…”

“He wasn’t expecting it either. It completely blindsided him. If she’s here to tell him that she’s made a mistake…” Peggy chewed her bottom lip, brows furrowed, “I know exactly what I would say, but I doubt he’ll make the same call.”

You were about to ask her for more details when Kira stuck out a hand, flashing a massive rock on her finger and knocking all the words from your mouth.

“Is that her left hand?” Steve squinted, practically leaning over Peggy to get a better look.

Peggy nodded and you all watched, unable to say anything else. It was like watching a train wreck knowing everything would only get worse. And it did when a square, clean cut, doctor looking type stepped up beside Kira and wrapped an arm around her waist before extending his hand to greet Bucky. The stranger might not have looked anything like Bucky, but there was no denying that she had found a man equally as handsome. But where Bucky was all dark hair, sharp edges and chaos, the man was light, softness and calm.

“She’s going to crush him all over again.” Steve managed through his clenched jaw.

You looked from your friends to Bucky and then back again. Peggy looked like she was about to murder someone, Steve looked no calmer, and Bucky…well he looked absolutely miserable. Anyone could see it, especially the ex-fiancé and the man she had clearly brought with her to flaunt how much better her life had become.

“I’m going over there.” Steve declared.

He was about to slip away when Peggy stopped him with a hand on his arm, “You’ll only make things worse. The only way she wouldn’t have looked so smug is if he had come with a date. You going over to save him isn’t going to change that.”

Steve didn’t seem to like it, but he stayed put, searching the party around him, and refusing to admit defeat. His man was stranded and there was nothing he wouldn’t do to get him out. Then his eyes zeroed in on you.

“(y/n)”

“Steve?” His name came out tentatively, wary of the crazed look in his eyes.

He raised a brow, waiting for you to catch onto his plan.

It didn’t take long, and you shook your head vigorously, unable to stop, “No. Nope. Nada. Absolutely not. I’m not getting involved!”

“Please!” Steve begged, eyes wide and hopeful, “If not for him then for me.”

You stumbled back a step, “No, I can’t! I only met the guy an hour ago and you want me to pretend to be his fiancé? No. I can’t do it. I don’t even have a ring.”

“You don’t have to be his fiancé, just his steady girlfriend,” Peggy nodded slowly, warming up to the idea, “Nothing more than a year together. It’ll be easy.”

“You too? No Peg I can’t.” You might have momentarily felt bad for the guy, but you weren’t about to get involved in something that messy. The plan was doomed to fail anyways, you could barely tolerate him.

Steve glanced urgently back at his friend, “Please.”

“No.”

He groaned, looking up to the sky in desperation. When he looked at you, the smile on his lips made your heart drop and you began to worry that he had found an answer to his problems.

“I didn’t want to do this (y/n), but I’m calling in my favour.”

You crossed your arms, taking another step back. “No.”

Steve might have been right that you owed him one, but you refused to pay him back with this. When he had gotten you out of your speeding ticket last month and you had told him you owed him one, you hadn’t meant this. This wasn’t even in the realm of possible ways to pay him back.

His lips curled even higher, “I know that speeding ticket didn’t get rid of itself. I think pretending to be his girlfriend for one night is worth the two hundred and fifty dollars you didn’t have to pay.”

With Steve staring at you like he had won this argument and Peggy shooting you her pointed Be-A-Good=Person stare, you knew you had no choice. You definitely should have stayed in the car. Instead, you glanced back to where Bucky was standing, shoulders hunched over, and noticed Kira and her fiancé gazing lovingly into each-other’s eyes. You might not have liked him very much, but even you had to admit that had to suck.

“Fine, one night,” You grumbled, “Then we’re square, Rogers.”

He nodded, practically beaming, “You get over there right now and we’re more than square.”

“Fine.”

You glared at him, making sure he knew just how little you wanted to do this, then stomped across the soft grass, glad you had decided not to wear heels.

“Wait!” Peggy whisper shouted. When you turned, she shoved two beers into your hands, “Your excuse. Now go.”

Thanking her, you took off more delicately this time, trying not to look like you were marching off to your death. You were supposed to look like you were in love. You scoffed. Yeah right. You were tempted to down the two beers to boost your courage, but you knew you weren’t a good enough liar to think of another reason as to why you had suddenly decided to show up.

A million different thoughts crossed your mind, but the one that kept coming back was that you weren’t going to be able to pull this off. How the hell were you going to convince this woman - who had almost married Bucky and therefore probably knew him as well as Peggy or even Steve - that the two of you were madly in love. He had called you a crazy lunatic the moment he had met you. If that wasn’t the furthest from love, then you didn’t know what was. Even if you could somehow convince her that you were in love with him, he had no idea why you were walking over right now. The plan was doomed, and you hadn’t even said a word yet.

When you were close enough that you could no longer back out, you decided that you were going to have to wing it. You had no other choice. It wasn’t like you could plan something this crazy anyways. All you had to do was try your best and then you were off the hook. You did that and you would no longer owe Steve.

All this because of a speeding ticket…You couldn’t help but think that maybe this was a sign from the universe telling you to drive better. Or at least slower, though you refused to ever say that little thought out loud.

Kira was saying something about how pretty summer weddings were when you interrupted, “Hey babe!”

You could barely keep yourself from cringing but somehow you managed it. The three turned around and you couldn’t decide who looked more confused. Your hopes were slim that Bucky would wipe that look off his face and catch on quick. If his snail pace while driving was any indication as to how he lived his life, this plan would tank within seconds.

Closing the remaining steps, you pressed a quick peck to his lips, hoping the speed of it would hide him stiffening under your touch. His eyes darted from to you Steve and then back before he pulled you in close, tucking you into his side. With his strong arm draped across your shoulders insouciantly, you figured whatever he had to have seen on Steve’s face had been enough to let him know to play along.

You handed him his beer and wrapped your arm around his wide waist, gazing up at him with what you hoped looked similar to the look Kira had been giving her fiancé. Really, as long as it didn’t look completely phony, you’d be fine with it.

“There’s my crazy little race car driver,” The smile he shot back seemed to be telling you to tone it down a little, but you ignored it.

Judging from the fact that he had clearly forgotten your name, he was much more of a threat to the whole operation than your exaggerated smiles.

Kira’s fiancé furrowed his brows, “You’re a race car driver?”

Bucky’s laugh exploded, making you want to cringe at how fake it sounded. Thankfully, you seemed to be the only one bothered by it.

“No, I only call her that because I’ve never seen anyone drive so crazily. I swear, every time she gets behind the wheel, I think she’s going to kill that beat-up car of hers she drives so fast.”

Instead of jabbing him in the ribs like you really - really - wanted to, you swatted his hard chest playfully, forcing to keep the smile on your face, “I wouldn’t have to drive like that if you didn’t make us late all the time.”

He looked like he was going to say something along the lines of crazy lunatic but bit his tongue and switched to a lighthearted smirk you found more than a little disarming. Even though you knew it was fake, your heart fluttered annoyingly at the way he looked at you like you were the only person in the world.

“It’s not my fault that every little thing you do seems to distract me when we’re getting ready to go somewhere.” He began to draw lazy little circles on your bicep, reminding you that rolling your eyes at his cheesy line wasn’t the right answer.

You smiled back in mock offence, “Oh, so it’s my fault then?”

“You can’t make me fall in love with you,” He drew you in a little closer, “and not expect me to lose focus sometimes.”

Despite his rocky start, you couldn’t help but be impressed with his acting skills. If you were being honest, he was pulling the team. Actually, judging by the arrogant gleam in his eyes, you weren’t a team -  you were in a contest to see who could fake it best. Well, if that was the case then you refused to let him win. You could be the best fake girlfriend he had ever seen.

Pulling back a little, you tilted your head so that, if it had been real, the position would have made it much easier to kiss him. Instead, you put your hand flat on his chest, much more gently this time, and said, “You know I only distract you so that I have a good reason to drive like a crazy lunatic.”

A chuckle rumbled deep in his chest, the corner of his lips turning up in what felt like a genuine smile this time. You grinned back to let him know that he was falling behind in your little game.

Kira cleared her throat, snapping you out of your fake love fest and you let out what you hoped sounded like an embarrassed laugh. The confused look on her face as her eyes darted between the two of you only made you lean in and snuggle a little closer. If you kept this up, not only would you no longer owe Steve, but he would owe you. Bucky’s arm slid off your shoulder and down your back until he tightened his grip around your waist in a gesture that might have been possessive if you hadn’t felt him stiffen at the sound of his ex-fiancé. Hopefully, you were the only one who felt all the easiness evaporate from his body.

“I’m sorry,” she pasted on a false smile, “I don’t think we’ve met.”

You extended your hand, jumping in before Bucky could make everything worse by giving you a fake name for the night, “(y/n). It’s nice to meet you both.”

“Brad,” the fiancé grinned and motioned toward his girlfriend, “Kira.”

“So how do you know Bucky?” You asked with fake chipper, waiting to see how she would respond.

The look on Kira’s face was priceless as it flashed from smug to angry and you almost smiled. There was no way she could flaunt the fact that you now had her leftovers, with her fiancé at her side. Brad might not have known what she was doing before you got here, but you doubted he was stupid enough not to realize what was going on if she began bragging about having left Bucky at the altar.

You had managed to make everything extremely awkward for her, extremely quickly and the thought almost made you coming over here worth it if only for that. Steve never said anything about not having fun with it.

Bucky saved her from answering, coming to her rescue like you were sure he had done on multiple occasions back when they were together, “Old friends, right Kira?”

She nodded, her lips drawn in a tight line. You could tell she was bursting with the need to break your own heart by telling you how she really knew him, but she wouldn’t jeopardize her own relationship for a petty victory. Little did she know there wasn’t a bit of your heart that she could break where Bucky was concerned. When the night was over, you intended on never seeing him again if you could help it.

Without sparing her another look, you tucked a loose strand of hair behind Bucky’s ear, “Didn’t you promise me there’d be food when we got here? I’m absolutely starved!”

“The food would have been out when we got here if you hadn’t driven so quickly.” He winked though you could tell his humour was a little more forced than it had been earlier.

You tamped down on the need to glare at him for continuously brining up your driving abilities and smacked him playfully once more - only a little harder than necessary. To his credit, he didn’t even flinch, instead pressed a kiss to the top of your head. When the night was over, you’d give him a real smack upside the head.

“It was so nice meeting you!” You gushed, abruptly deciding it was more than time for the conversation to end.

“Likewise,” Brad said with a smile that appeared genuine, “You guys are doing the three-legged race later, right?”

Kira shook her head, “I doubt they are. James isn’t really one for games.”

Your heart dropped. If you had thought there was a possibility of getting out of engagement party games, Kira had just sealed your fate. But maybe he wasn’t as competitive as you were. Maybe Bucky wouldn’t take the bait.

He began drawing the same little circles on your waist this time and for a moment you were fooled into thinking he wasn’t half as competitive as you were. For a moment, you thought he wouldn’t be goaded into a game you hadn’t played since elementary school. You should have known better.

“With this little racer at my side there’s no way we’d miss the opportunity to play and win.” He flashed them a bright smile, “We’ll see you then.”

Bucky steered you away before you could say anything, and whispered into your hair, “They’re still watching us, so don’t have a fit until we’re far enough away.”

“I come to save your ass and that’s how you thank me?” You growled though gritted teeth.

His arm tightened around you, “My ass didn’t need saving, doll.”

“If that were true then you wouldn’t have looked like a kicked puppy before I showed up,” You stopped yourself from throwing his arm off you, “And you might not have thought your ass needed saving, soldier, but your friend did. So, take it up with him when you see him. I was just paying back a favour.”

He let out a dry laugh, “I should have known Steve would have come up with a plan this stupid. There’s no way you and I made a convincing couple.”

“The least you could say is thank you,” You snapped, “Because of Steve and I, you didn’t look quite as sad or single.”

“I say it makes us even.”

You shoved out of his hold, “Even? I didn’t owe you anything.”

“You cut me off and almost ran me off the road.” He countered, blue eyes icy.

“You’re still on that? I can’t believe you’re-”

“Look at you two, bickering like an old married couple.” Steve grinned, seeming more than a little proud, “Should be we expecting a wedding any time soon.”

“No.” You both snapped in unison.

At least you could agree on something.

“You know you’ll have to keep this up for the rest of the night, right?” Peggy pointed out sympathetically, though you could tell she was biting her cheek, trying not to laugh.

You sucked in a deep breath and let it out slowly. The night was already going to be a disaster, you had known that going in, so even if it was a little worse it wouldn’t be the end of the world. Right? Plus, it had to be good karma, and you were running low. Somehow, you’d manage to get through the night if you didn’t kill Bucky first.

He glared at you, lips tight, as if he was thinking the same thing.