#and we were like WHAT and she was like 'a priest cant forgive me he isnt god'

[itsays]

i remember when we got a new girl from chile at my catholic school and the whole time she was just having a horrible time because she had never been to catholic school in her life

[whitexwingedxdoves]

a love like war | part one

Sequel to The Other Side 

Pairing: Negan x Reader Pronouns: She/her Warnings: Language, Violence Summary: Despite your best efforts you just cant seem to avoid Negan A/N: SHES HERE. IM EXCITED <3 Again all the thanks goes to @jinxeee​​ <3 Tags: @aubageddon91

“You belong to me” he whispered, catching you off guard and it showed “you always will” he added before you stepped away from the man, the confused look creasing your soft face as you reached for the door.

“Go to hell” you snapped before leaving the room, once you were outside you pressed yourself against the brick wall to catch your breath

You avoided the gardens like the plague after your interaction with Negan and it brought up some questions with Daryl, he’d grill you day after day, asking what was wrong until you had enough and told him everything. At first he was taken back by the assumption you and he were somewhat an item but he soon channelled that into anger, he hated the idea of you and Negan. He’d tell you, you deserved so much better than him and of course you’d agree. After that day, he promised to stay by you whenever you went out to the gardens so that Negan couldn’t corner you, and he thought he could get some revenge of his own by purposely flirting with you whenever the prisoner was watching. Of course his flirting was much more subtle than what you usually encountered, he’d pick you a fresh strawberry and tuck your hair behind your ear every so often but mostly he made you laugh to the point you’d forget that any one could be watching. You’d scold him when you’d get home at night but you’d never tell him you enjoyed knowing Negan would think of nothing else in his cell at night.

You felt confident walking through the gardens on your own today, you did your job checking up on people as you inspected the quality of the crops all while your face flushed red, attempting to avoid Negan’s stare. You left his section until last, thinking you could quickly get it done and leave before he had a chance to say anything to you but of course, that was too good to be true. Brandon stood over Negan as you approached but quickly dropped his weapon to his side as you did, he looked eager to ask you something “Im really sorry Y/N but I ain’t feeling all too good and there aint no one else I can ask'' You took a deep breath anticipating his question “Do you mind taking watch while I visit the doctor?” you cleared your throat before taking the spear he held in his hand from him, sending him a small smile and a nod.

“Sure” you watched as he hurried along to the infirmary, your heart dropping once you noticed you were now alone with the one man you didn’t want to be alone with.

You looked down at the man who was already staring back up at you with a wide smile, you rolled your eyes and turned your attention back to the rest of the garden. “You know when I first saw you sat on that rock, covered in all that shit” he started, pulling at weeds from the ground before turning slightly to face you “I still though, my god is she beautiful” his tone made you snap back to his direction, scoffing at his words

“Did you think I was beautiful when you locked me up in your little torture chamber?” you spat back at the man, he held his hands up defensively, his smirk seemingly disappearing.

“I never apologised for that” his tone was much softer now but you still shook your head at him

“It’s a little late for apologies now, Negan,” the man sighed at your truth, and turned back to the weeds, pulling at the leaves while biting down on his bottom lip.

“I am. Sorry that is. If I had known- I can’t help but think how different everything would be” he sounded defeated which pulled at your heart a little until you realise who you were talking to.

“It’s gonna take more than a meaningless apology for me to forgive you” you didn’t mean for it to come out as a hiss but it did. Your eyes now scanning the area to track down someone to take over for you, Negan surprisingly stayed quiet as you did just that. You signalled for someone to come over before you looked back down at Negan. “I don’t think I’ll ever forgive you for what you did to me” you whispered before handing the spear to the man who saved you from Negan duty.

-

The next day you gathered before the council, you stood by Daryl as you listened to Gabriel explain a situation with a hoard of walkers and his plan for getting rid/diverting it. He put together some teams of people and explained their jobs, Daryl and Michonne were to take  down any walker that strayed from the path and Aaron, Eugene and Rosita were to divert the crowd into the next town and attempt to trap them there. You embraced Michonne and Daryl as they left the room, wishing them luck and warning them to be safe, just as you were about to leave Gabriel called on you to stay behind for a moment.

You waited behind like he had asked, waving goodbye as people passed you. “Thank you for waiting” Now that the room had cleared, Gabriel took a few steps closer to you, you flashed him a smile and perched yourself on a desk that stood behind you.

“What can I do for you?” you questioned, oblivious to his intentions. He gave you a warm smile as he paced before you

“I want you out there too. I haven’t forgot that you were one of the best back at the sanctuary and think its time we put our skills to good use!” you couldn’t disagree with him, you pushed your lips together as you nodded at his words, waiting for further instructions. “I want you – I want you to go out there and keep the walkers on the right path” you cocked a brow at the man, you figured Daryl and Michonne already had that covered but he seemed convinced they may need extra help. “I also would like for you to take Negan with you”

You wondered if you had heard him correctly as you pushed yourself away from the desk “I'm sorry? You want me to take who?” You scoffed at the man when he repeated the prisoners name, shaking your head at his suggestion. “The man who left me in a room to die, that Negan?” your words tasted a little salty as you questioned the priest,  his head hung low as he took a deep breath.

“I see how he acts when you’re around. I have faith he will keep you safe!” you rolled your eyes at his words, chewing on the corner of your mouth as you thought of all the possibilities of being left alone out there with Negan “He’s a good fighter, we need that!” He added, walking closer to you before placing a hand on your shoulder, you avoided his stare as you looked down at your feet. “We can’t let anything bad happen to you but Negan? He’s a life I’m willing to risk for the safety of the community” Eventually he broke you down enough to get you to agree with his ridiculous plan. Before you even left the gates, you warned Negan not to speak a word to you, threatening his life if he even breathed in your direction and off you went, leading the man to your station.

-

Negan seemed to keep to his promise and not a word was spoken during your time travelling, when you reached your spot there were already a couple of stray walkers roaming around. Reluctantly you handed Negan a knife and watched him run off to kill the walkers, you offered no help as you stood back and watched him take down each walker, he barely had time to rest when the next set came limping over to him. You decided to sit down in the grass, drinking out of your canteen ignoring his struggles. By this point he must have killed over 20 of those things, he was panting and sweating yet you did nothing to resolve his exhaustion. It felt like it was the perfect display of karma, like the world had finally given you what you had been asking for, for years. The walkie on your hip started to buzz before Rosita’s voice spilled through the speakers notifying you that their plan worked and they would see you all back at Alexandria, Michonne’s was next claiming that she and Daryl didn’t have a lot of strays and they were ready to head home. You thought it was best you didn’t reply, none of them actually knew you were out there and you didn’t want them to panic.

You looked up at Negan, he had a couple walkers on him but you figured after they had gone, you’d be fine to head home too. You picked yourself up and brushed off any dirt that may have collected over time and turned on your heels to get the car started. What you didn’t expect was the dead that seemed right on your tail, You grappled with the creature before it took you down. You managed to keep it at arms length but you knew if you reached for your knife it would get you, you called out for help as you struggled to hold its weight. It felt like you were under the dead for a while, the feeling far too familiar as it snapped its jaws at you, suddenly the snapping stopped and the body became limp over the top of you, allowing you to throw it off to the side.

A hand reached out for you to grab and you did, a little too hazy to realise who’s hand it was. Once you were on your feet, your gaze met Negan’s and you allowed a small sigh to pass your lips “Thanks” you whispered, brushing off your clothes “you know if you’d have left me to die, you’d be free right now” you added, disguising your grateful words.

“Na, wouldn't be worth it” you cocked your brow at the man now you had finished cleaning your clothes, he shrugged at you a small smirk gracing his features, his tongue caressing his bottom lip. “the five minutes a day I get to see you, is worth way more than freedom”

[maknaesdancersrappers]

july 21

hello. july 21 is a special day for me and you dont have to read this because its just me venting out my thoughts and emotions as long as i can without word/character limits on any platform.

july 21 is my maternal grandmother’s birthday. when i was born, my mom went abroad often and my dad had the regular 9 to 5 job plus extra hours for commute. so growing up with my sisters who are 5 and 7 years older, our grandparents and aunts took care of us.

im also more fond of my maternal grandmother since my paternal grandmother lived far away and we rarely ever get to see her (usually only during summers and once she stayed with us for awhile) until she passed away from Alzheimer's.

during the long hiatus i took early this year (late december to mid-march?), a lot has happened in my life. my health was put at risk because of the ash fall brought by the volcano eruption (january 12); i had allergies for weeks - i couldnt breathe properly, let alone sleep because of it. it was about to be the second year after graduating college and i have yet to get a job; the pressure from my family - and myself - was so unbearable that i caught myself slipping back to my very, very, very dark thoughts. and the worst thing that happened in those three months: my grandmother passed away. in filipino, grandmother is lola (loh-lah) and i’d like to use that for the rest of this post.

if you ask anyone in their neighborhood, any of our family friends, and relatives, everyone will tell you that her death was sudden. because everyone knows her as the sometimes-funny-sometimes-cranky old lady that owns the convenience store at the corner of the street. she was 96. she was 96 but she refused to get a wheelchair or use a walking stick even though her knees started to hurt after a few steps. she was 96 but didn’t need glasses to read most of the time. she was 96 but didn’t have any maintenance medication. ever since she reached her 90′s, she had gone to the town clinic at least twice because she fell over (from loss of balance) and busted her head. yet she would walk the next day like she doesnt have stitches on her scalp. she hated going to the doctor, she’d always claim that nothing hurts and the only thing she wanted the doctor to fix was her hearing (its as weak as how her eyesight is clear)

i wasnt the only one in the family that got severely affected by the ash fall. my lola also had trouble breathing because of it. she also went to the doctor for it and they only prescribed her antibiotics. please remember this info. this should be around early february

she got a little better but her voice was very hoarse from the phlegm. even before this, lola had little to no appetite and would only eat when someone else is eating (usually if it’s us, her granddaughters). and by little to no appetite, i mean her whole meal would be three spoonfuls of rice and one piece/chunk of whatever the main dish/ulam is. whenever we ask if she had eaten (even though we know she hadnt) she’d always claim that she already has (this eventually became a little joke in our family.) we took this sign as her dementia getting worse (although she was never really diagnosed with it, we had naturally assumed it because she would always repeatedly tell us stories that she insists happened even though some have been debunked and there were times she forgets our names if we havent visited in a while.)

after she gets better from the cough (idk the real diagnosis of it), her legs started to swell and because her routine had been reduced to being bedridden for most of the day, my aunts thought it was just poor circulation. it took two weeks before they brought her back to the town clinic and again, they just prescribed her with some medicine. everything after this is blurry to me until feb 21

my mom, being the eldest, made the decision to bring lola to the hospital. she’s, rightfully, unsatisfied with the town doctor’s diagnosis and prescriptions because lola is in so much pain and her legs were still swollen and its been weeks. i was with her in the emergency room while my mom and aunt did the paper work and the staff ran tests on lola. i’m contacting my sister who was in singapore and we’d video call to entertain lola since she was very adamant - and vocal - that she did not want to be admitted to the hospital bc she was “fine.” goSh she made so many hospital staff laugh because she would always announce whenever she had to fart. after like 2 hours, we move her into a ward and my mom tells me that i’ll have to stay overnight to watch over her. i was very apprehensive of this idea. i honestly did not want to. seeing her in pain was bad enough, but the fact we were in a room with other people and she was crying out loud made me really anxious but it was final. my mom, aunt, and uncle all went back home just to have dinner and they’ll come back since lola’s doctor would be coming by to give the results and for that hour they were gone? i lost it.

lola started talking/praying out loud, asking god why she was in so much pain, asking what she had done to deserve this; and i didn’t know what to do but hold her hand and kiss her head. i couldn’t even show her i was crying. when my mom got back, i told her i cant do it and she eventually convinced my other sister to join me, who cancelled her plans for the next day. that night, i did not and could not fall asleep. after a few hours, her doctor finally came by and dropped a bomb on us. he was kind enough to talk to my mom and aunt behind the curtains in the softest voice ever while i helped the nurse with lola, but i could hear him crystal clear.

cancer of the liver. 

they even momentarily walked back to lola to touch her stomach and stepped back out. i almost thought i misheard, but my mom and aunt’s expressions were too grim that it basically confirmed it. later on, my mom finally told me and explained that the antibiotics she had been taking weeks ago were too strong for her because of her lifestyle and diet. there were tumors in her liver and surgery wouldn’t do anything. i dont remember what i did aside from sketching on the journal i brought, but until i got home at 10am the next day, i did not sleep a wink.

feb 22. when i woke up at 2PM, i was told that they had lola discharged from the hospital. there was nothing we could do but try to ease the pain to the best of our abilities and wait. starting that day, i went over to lola’s house to help out with feeding her, giving her medicine, and just trying to keep her happy by randomly smiling at her when i see her looking around or dancing to no music.

feb 24. these were the early weeks of covid - ph hadn’t had a case yet, i believe, but travel restrictions were being implemented. my sister in singapore was doing everything to make sure she could come home because we don’t know when, but we know lola was leaving soon. of all the things our mom told her not to do, she cried at the entrance of the embassy and by the grace of god, someone took pity and listened to her (bc she was denied entry since she had a small cough) and she was able book a flight at midnight and be home in 4 hours. that afternoon, when i arrived at lola’s house, that was the very first time i stood at the doorway to greet her like i usually did and she didn’t smile. not even the corners of her lips moved. she was in that much pain that she couldn’t even greet me back like she always did, which was to smile and nod her head. that night, we all decided to sleepover there (with the exception of my dad since he had to feed our dogs at home). i take my usual seat in the living room and i notice a white dress that i remember (from photos) being lola’s 50th anniversary wedding gown and without being told, i know it was what she was going to wear for the very last time.

feb 25. being notoriously a late sleeper, i was about to go to sleep at 2AM when i hear lola groaning and whining out loud. when i checked her, her stubborn lil ass was trying to get out of bed alone!!! so i obviously panic and try to wake up anyone by exclaiming that lola had to go to the bathroom - she’s been wearing adult diapers for weeks now but refuses to go in them and is adamant about bringing her to the bathroom so she could relieve herself - so me, and the same aunt and uncle from the hospital, assisted her into this modified chair so she could pee and the only thing i could do was hold her hand, like always. after that, my uncle said he’d watch over her and lie down beside her on the bed so in case she needs to go again, he can take care of it himself. after falling asleep, i heard a few hours later that my sister from SG arrived. when i woke up later on, my sisters and i presented ourselves to lola bc its been so long since she last saw us complete, and this time she was able to give us a small nod of acknowledgement. i realized that none of my uncles and aunts went to work that day, thinking it was just so we could be complete since my sister was home. but then i overhear them making plans to have a priest come over for the sacrament of anointing of the sick - which based on my last and only experience (my grandfather/lolo), this must be the day. during the session, a few of my aunts and an uncle cried. my sisters cried, too, but i forced myself not to. when the priest left, i don’t know how long, but suddenly, she was gone. i didn’t know how to react. this was the second time i’ve seen someone pass away before my very eyes. everyone was crying out for forgiveness, kissing lola’s head, but i couldn’t move one bit. i was finally crying, but i couldn’t move at all.

3 days. from learning about the real problem with lola, it only took 3 days for it to take her away from us. not even a week, or a month. the only bright side to this was that she’s finally relieved of all the pain that’s been causing her suffering. 3 days of knowing her time was very, very short, but it was still a shock when she finally left. 

for the longest time, lola’s goal was to reach the age of 100 because apparently our government will reward her with 100,000 pesos (like 2k usd) for doing so. she wanted to reach 100 because she wanted to leave us with some inheritance haha. and everyone believed she could do it. no one doubted her. until this happened. maybe its just me, but i feel foolish... completely stupid and ignorant for knowing deep down in my heart that she would reach 100 that losing her 3 years prior her goal hurt me more than ever. 

it’s been 5 months but remembering her death still makes me cry. i have dreams (and you all know im a lucid dreamer) where she’s still alive and we’re talking about how she beat cancer at 96 in just a few months, but then i’ll remember that she didn’t and the dream in front of me just shatters and i’ll wake up empty and crying. i have never felt so much regret after she passed bc all she wanted was to see me graduate and it was up to me to show her that i got my first job and give her a portion of my first salary, but i couldn’t even do that. i waited too long and now its too late. her ideal type for me was a rich atenean boy who could drive 😂 and i still couldn’t give her that bc im so anti-men. there was a time i was so scared to go back to lola’s house bc she called me out during dinner - “baket ka malungkot/why are you sad?” - when all i was doing was browsing through my phone, scarily enough going through another “episode”, and the last person i’d ever want to know about my possible depression was her. of all my suicidal episodes, i’ve always resolved them by thinking of her - that i will continue living because i wanted to see her smile. because i wanted to see her happy.

i miss her so much. i wish i had been a better granddaughter to her. the small things i’ve done for her were never enough. in the past 5 months, i’ve only dreamt about her twice (actually being with her) and both times made the day so hard to function. i havent moved on and i dont know if im the only one. i dont know if i’ll ever move on. she would have been 97 today. whenever she forgets my name, i’ll tell her i have the same birthday as her and she’ll remember me. she’ll say “ahhh rosean! july 10!”

if someone read through this, im sorry you had to go through that mess. but thank you for hearing me out. no, i’ll thank you the way my lola would thank people, verbatim:

thank you very much from the bottom of my heart.

[whataboutsteffanfics]

Trails of fire - Chapter 1

8 years prior

Zendaya and Chris are at the Beach, And are having a walk by the water.

"I'm so happy that we're getting married" she said

"Me too but I want to promise you something'

The stop walking and look each other in the eye.

"I promise to always love you, I promise to always be there for you, I promise to support you and to always make you happy"

"i promise the same thing, I love you"

"I love you too" he screamed, he then picked her up and started to twirl her around

------------------------------------------------------- 8 years prior - wedding day (vows)

"Chris would you like to say your vows" the priest asked

""As we start our married life together today, I make these promises before our families and friends:

I will continually challenge myself to become the best husband I can be; always looking to put you before myself and making your dreams our dreams.

I will love you; I will adore you; I will cherish you; I will be faithful to you.

I will be thoughtful and mindful in the way I act around other people, whether we are together or apart. I will always seek to give you no reason to be jealous over another person. music has always been a big part of our life and You will always be the greatest song I could and would ever sing.

I will trust you in all things, never doubting you, or looking for reassurance of things you have already promised me.

I will help you discover your full potential, pushing you to become the best you can be, to support and ensure your hopes and dreams come to fruition.

I will stand by your side in all things, the highs and the lows, always finding agreement in everything that we do as husband and wife.

I will keep God at the centre of our relationship and love you as Christ loves the Church." Chris said and wiped away her tears

"Zendaya would you like to say your vows?"

""I promise to be your faithful wife. I promise to love you when the sun shines, when the rain falls, in sickness, and in health. When you look at this ring, think of me and remember that I love you always."

"I promise to be the woman that I see now in your eyes, today, tomorrow, and for always."

"What is a wife? I must admit, I'm not sure. All I know is that I am devoted to you completely and am made a better person because of your love. wife then is a thing that a good marriage makes, molds, and creates whole. If that is what a husband/wife means, then I am prepared to be yours."

"I vow to always protect you from harm, to stand with you against your troubles, and look to you when I need protection."

"I take thee to be my wife and promise to look into your eyes just like I do now, with love and soulful amazement. I can't wait to spend the rest of my life with you."

"I promise to try to be worthy of your love in every way, to climb mountains, and swim oceans just to be by your side. I will be honest, caring, patient and forgiving, and I will always be a loyal wife."

"You fill my life with meaning. Thank you for taking me as I am, loving me, and welcoming me into your heart. I promise to always love you, respect you, and to be faithful to you forever."

------------------------------------------------------- present

"Chris you can't just leave like that" she yelled

" Daya i gotta go to this import meeting I will be back in 2 hours"

"no Chris I already told how busy I am gonna be, I literally have to leave in 15 min" she pointed out to him while following him to the door

"can't you call your mom, my mom or one of your sisters to watch the kids" he said while looking for his car keys

"no i cant they were all gonna be busy thats why I ask-"

"I'm sorry Zendaya but I really have to go now" he finally found his key and walked out the door

"arrrghhhh" she yelled angry

"mommy are you okay" het 4 year old asked worried

"mom is fine why don't you go watch tv"

"okay mommy"

Zendaya went to the kitchen and picked up her phone and try to contact her dad but it went straight to voicemail

she didn't have a any other option and called everything off, she then went upstairs to change in her comfy clothes

before going downstairs she came across a picture of their wedding day

"is this really my life right now" she whispered to herself, she shook her head and went to the kitchen to make the kids some lunch

Pov Chris

I just finished my 4 hour meeting and now I got a call that I had to be in the studio to record a song.

"ay Chris good you came man" his producer said

"we gonna record something new?"

"no we gotta change a couple of sounds for this song on your album"

"alright man"

Chris went to the booth and put his headphones one and started to sing

"Whine up pon it to the rhythm (rhythm) Come a little closer, why you distant? (why you distant) All over my body, feel the friction (friction) Yeah, baby, it's me that's in your system (system) Kill it, girl, your body lookin' vicious (vicious) Meditating on you like a scripture (a scripture) Ain't at church but she pull up in them Christians Long time, I go love you like it's vintage

Go forward, go back and forward, oh Enjoy it, just pick your poison, oh, ooh Go slower, go fast, go slower and around and around Go back and forward, ooh Rock your body, your body, your body, ooh Rock your body, your body, your body, ooh (your body, your body, your body) Rock your body, oh gimme what you got, I'm holding on, oh Rock your body every night

Why you always lookin' at the time though? (Time though) Baby, when you dance on me time slows (time slows) Murder everyting at the nitro (nitro) Take you back to my space like a typo (typo) Tell me how to reach like a high note (high note, oh yeah) Skin tight, never need lipo (lipo) I can see us with my eyes closed (eyes closed) Pull it to side like vibo (vibo)

after he sang for a couple of hours he looked at the time and saw it was past 12 pm

"ay man we done? I gotta go home"

"yup we done we got it"

he picked his stuff, said his goodbye to everybody and drove home

--------------------------- its 9 pm now and chris is still not back from his so called meeting. so her cousin came to check on her after work

"you want some wine" Daya asked

"yes please"

she poured the 2 of them some wine and sat down on the coach

"tell me why are you so upset, what wrong with you and Chris" her cousin asked

Daya took a long sip before she answered her question

"it has been a lot, and I don't feel happy right now in my marriage... we have been fighting like crazy, he always at work and comes home late and his excuse is that he was at a meeting. he always leave me with the kids like I had a couple of important meetings today and I had to cancel my whole entire day because he had to leave. so much has been going on I bet he doesn't even realize that I'm not happy."

"wow i didint even know that has been going on, have you tried counseling or just talking it out with each other"

"we don't even talk like that anymore, I don't understand what happened to us, one moment we was happy and the next thing I know all we do is fight" she said as she started to cry

her cousin placed her glass on the table and went to give her a hug

"listen, yall need to talk to each other and tell each other what y'all need and figure out where it went wrong in y'all marriage. you both can't continue to do this to each other and remember they kids need both sets of parent that love each other. do you still love him?"

"I do....without a doubt but he is just not making me happy right now"

"well then focus on the that, that you love him and when you do talk tell him what you need from him and you both should fix whatever is going on in y'all marriage that isn't healthy for you, him and the kids"

"okay i will" she said and took a deep breath

a couple of hours later her cousin left, so she started to clean up a bit so she could go to bed.

while she walked to the steps she saw the piano and decided to play a song that come in to her mind

"Where did we go wrong?

Is it all my fault? Where did we go wrong? Is it all my fault?

From the very start I was so into you Ooh from the beginning I was so so feeling you But you thought I cheated, that I played around on you But didn't you do the same, didn't you, didn't you?

Where did we go wrong? Is it all my fault? Where did we go wrong? Is it all my fault?

I wish I would've listened I wish I would've heard

Ooh I wish I would've touched you baby I wish I would've said the words That I love you, I love you I love you I love you, I love you"

"that was beautiful" he said

"how long have you been standing there"

"when you started to sing"

he walked to the piano and sat next to her

"I'm sorry I'm late I-"

"was at the studio.. mhh hum I know" she said dry looking at him

"baby what wrong" he said while trying to touch her shoulder

"really Chris don't baby me, you really don't know whats wrong" she looked at him like he was dumb

"no"

"wow Chris..you know what don't even bother im going to bed" she stood up from the stool and walked up the stairs

he watched her walk up the steps and then looked at the picture on the piano

"what happened to us" he whispered to himself

[thestuckylibrary]

Group Ask 152

What is a group ask?

Previous Group Asks

AO3 Search Tutorial

Please send us an ask stating which group ask and which person you are replying to. Thank you so much in advance!

Anon 1 said:

Do you know the fic where Steve and Bucky are partnered up for a project and tony starts to freak out Steve by saying Bucky has a dick piercing? It’s a punk Bucky and pre serum Steve au I cant find it anywhere!

Anon sent in Cause You Look So Much Cuter With Something In Your Mouth by lets_get_messi (oneshot | 2,997 | E)

lesbianhozier said:

hi! i’ve been searching for a fic set during catws where bucky keeps trying to kiss steve mid-fight. he vaguely remembers steve and every time they fight he keeps trying to get closer/show affection, but both steve and natasha are like ????? and i remember natasha commenting about how she doesn’t understand the winter soldier’s tactics or what kind of fighting move he’s trying to make. thank you!

Anon 2 said:

I need help finding this fic. It was really long, I think a couple hundred thousand words, and super angsty. Not an au. Bucky was recovering. At one point I think everyone goes on a road trip or something. Steve and Bucky get into fall out boy and they have their songs. But they keep fighting, so bucky wipes himself and starts life over, goes to school, normal life. Nat finds him and befriends him without telling anyone, but Steve finds out and is pissed. Happy ending where bucky remembers steve

Anon sent in This Is My Last Breath* by FlyByNightGirl (complete | 731,489 | unrated) *extreme angst

capiturecs said:

Hello. :) can you please help me find this fic? It’s pre war, and Bucky is crying because Steve is sick one of the boys in school said he was going to die so he ran to Steve’s place and Sarah opened the door and comforted him. I think then Bucky’s mum showed up. Steve was ok eventually though. That’s all I remember and I’m dying to read it again. Thank you!

devildears said:

Hey, I think my request got lost so I’ll ask again. :) Thanks! I was looking for a fic in which Bucky ends up stabbing Steve in the stomach (back?) after they hugged so he can’t stop him from setting off a bomb that would destroy New York. The bomb kill the entire area of old Brooklyn I think but Steve forgives him anyways. I think it was a series. It had a lot of Bucky’s morale being questionable. Could be the same where he gets his own team of assassins with a trans woman in it? It haunts me.

nodns and sunshineailin sent in Burn the World* by sebastianL (felix_atticus) (complete | 104,945 | E) *graphic violence, dubcon

petcheeatah said:

can you help me find the fic where bucky is like 7-12 years old and he’s really sick and he might die and a priest says something about getting started on the funeral and steve gets mad and yells at the priest? bucky’s fine at the end. i think it also mentions how bucky’s well liked and no one wants to see him die or sumn like that

Anon 3 said:

Hi, I'm looking for a shrunkyclunks fic where Steve previously (in the 1930s-40s) engaged in sex work. He meets modern!Bucky at a bar and hooks up with him, and (if I remember correctly) tells Bucky a bit about what his life was like pre-WWII including his involvement in sex work. I believe this was a one shot. Thank you!

Anon 4 said:

I'm looking for a fic that I can't remember much about, but Steve told Bucky that he couldn't keep coming in uninvited if he was gonna keep showing up at random times, and so one night Bucky showed up and Steve wasn't home, so he stayed out on the balcony but it started snowing and by the time Steve gets home, Bucky's freezing and Steve's like okay, you can come in when I'm not here but don't abuse it. I think they kept fucking, but were really bad at, like, talking like adults

historyismadeatnight and Anon sent in The Blind Leading* by SkyisGray (oneshot | 43,034 | E) *graphic violence

Anon 5 said:

hey ! do y’all know of the fic where bucky gets away from hydra and tries to find his way back using a self care list from the internet? i’m pretty sure he also goes to the library a lot to research himself and gets an illegal id where he names himself james barnes (but it’s spelled differently) i’ve been looking for this fic for weeks and i still can’t find it:(

whyaretheycalledpancakes sent in Reclamation by dragongirlG, soup_illustrations (potofsoup) (complete | 31,891 | T)

Anon 6 said:

I’ve been looking for a fic for weeks and I was wondering if you could help? It’s got pre-serum Steve as a shield agent and winter soldier Bucky, but Steve isn’t an active agent and Bucky doesn’t know he’s with shield until Steve sends him a video of the first time they met while on a mission? I’m sorry there’s not much to go on!

carol-effing-danvers sent in to live with thee by aw marvel no (getoffmysheets) (complete | 69,834 | E)

Anon 7 said:

I've been trying to find this fic to read again and I'm not sure if it's been deleted. I don't remember the title or author, but at one point in the story, the Avengers are battling some type of creatures with stingers. Steve shoves Bucky out of the way and gets stung and hurt. Bucky threatens to leave and never return if Steve ever tries something like that again and then Steve confesses his love to Bucky. Please help!

farraige25 let us know this is Close to the Sun, which has since been deleted, but they have a copy available if anyone wants one!

Anon 8 said:

Hey I am a huge fan of your blog! There is this fic that I have been looking for for a long long time. I read it a while back and i forgot to bookmark it. Its a stucky fic but I think Steve is raising Peter. And Steve and the avengers dont know that peter is friends with Bucky( who is the Winter soldier at the time). One scene that I remember is when a kid bullies peter at school, he tells the Winter soldier about it and I think the next day that kid gets either beaten up or assassinated.

shadow-of-a-whisper said:

I tried general-searching 'funeral', and couldn't find it. I'm looking for a post-WS fic where mostly-recovered Bucky hears the news that Captain America has died. He crashes the massive state funeral, and jumps in after the coffin, out of his mind with grief. The assembled Avengers are like, wtf do we do now? And then Steve Rogers steps out from behind them, and he's just like... "How else was I gonna retire? The world was never gonna let me just walk away." and they get their dramatic reunion.

Anon 9 said:

i’m DESPERATE to find a fic where steve is painting or sketching bucky naked but bucky ends up dirty talking to him so much he has to stop. steve has a voice kink and ends up coming untouched. it was probably pwp but i can’t remember if it’s pre/post tws or cw but it’s modern.

Anon 10 said:

hello! i've been searching for this fic where steve is out on a run while bucky is in the avengers tower i think(?) and hydra gets the drop on him so he's bleeding out and he makes a call to tell bucky that he loves him and passes out from blood loss. if you guys can help me find it that'll be great, thanks!

dolphinqueen10 sent in Baby Don't Hang Up So I Can Tell You What You Need To Know by Nightwing11 (oneshot | 4,158 | T)

[fromthedeskofelizabeththird]

So Here are the Spoilers -Volume III

AKA I have not been this mad at Cheritz for ages. Let’s deep dive.

Warning: this post contains spoilers and mentions of abuse and p*dophilia. 

Also Rika.

So much Rika...

I am mad, yo

Not even mad, I am furious.

As I usually do when I give my thoughts like this, here is what I wanted from V after end and Rika DLC

V moving on with his life and having a happy ending with MC

The RFA healing and also moving on

A focus on MC and V!! And their love???? You know?? The point of him having a route in the first place.

An exploration of Rika’s past and Mint Eye, to fill in all the blanks we have so far 

Rika facing justice and seeking redemption.

I’ll be honest.

If you want fluffy V and MC content, go ahead and play the existing ends. The after end is not really about V at all. It’s along the same lines as Secret Ends 02, where your LI isn’t really present and instead dealing with their own emotional turmoil and issues. 

And, you know. To an extent I would have been okay with this in V content. V is the leader of the RFA and it would be weird if the fall out from Rika wasn’t even addressed. My beef about this is that we don’t get a secret end 01 where MC and V are together, repairing problems together. We don’t see V at all for 98% of the story. We get more Rika content than V...which is a whole other issue I’ll get to in a bit. Hell...I’m pretty sure we get more VANDERWOOD than V. (Don’t get me wrong...I like Vanderwood, but wtf??) 

It’s honestly the same complaint I have for both Jumin’s after end and Valentine’s DLC, where he’s not even present for most of it and it feels like a waste of time and hourglasses. (And at 80 hourglasses per chapter, plus another 100 to unlock both endings, it doesn’t come cheap.)

V and MC’s ‘happy ending’ is an afterthought. V’s entire presence in the after end is an ‘oh by the way, remember V? The character whose after end you’re in I guess???’

Ugh.

Anyway.

It was good to see the RFA healing and moving on. I was so heartbroken by Jumin’s inability to cope with what was going on, even as he took extra care to make sure the rest of the RFA were fine. I loved Yoosung’s anger and conflict over this person he’d admired and respected for so long. I loved Seven’s complete breakdown over the potential loss of his brother.

I loved that they got reunited!

What I didn’t like?

The forcedness. 

The after end gives you two choices: Judge or Forgive. I hoped that they would be complimentary to one another, like in Seven’s Valentine DLC, where both were good ends, just different in tone.

Well, boy was I wrong!

From the beginning of the After End, you are pushed towards Forgiveness, with the MC being portrayed as completely unreasonable and borderline hysterical if they show even an ounce of resentment and anger towards Rika. If you go on to unlock the Judgement ending, Cheritz not only spits in your face but every single one of her victims.

There is a short VN sequence called Rika Circus, where you are mocked for essentially enjoying torture porn and wanting Rika to come to a cruel end and suffer a horrible fate. It’s the judgement ending, but you the player are judged instead. 

Just getting these screens made me feel physically sick:

I don’t know where to begin with this bs. Maybe with the preface that I am an abuse survivor and pushing the idea that victims have to forgive their abusers in any way shape or form and aren’t allowed to hold even a small amount of anger towards them is completely shameful? This ending literally borders on the same gaslighting logic that if a victim stands up to their abuser they are the shitty one and hyper aggressive. I wish I could explain how bad this ending was for my PTSD. 

Actually no. I will explain.

The most important lesson I got from my therapist was how okay it was to be angry, because it was an acknowledgement that I was a victim and my abuser was in the wrong. That I didn’t have to forgive her if I didn’t want to. That it was important for me to feel valid in my emotions.

Maybe what bothered me was the cognitive dissonance (and gaslighting) that an MC wanting Rika to face justice must 100% want her to die or live out the rest of her days being mistreated and even sexually assaulted? Like??? How about no?? Are there no jails in Mysme’s universe? No community service? We know from the Judgement end that she got a life sentence, so it’s not like the MC sentenced her to death.

Maybe it’s because the player is given very valid choices e.g. being suspicious of the cult leader who stabbed their boyfriend and tortured numerous people, but are framed along the same lines as the MC being like KILL HER *knife emoji*. 

Maybe it’s because this ending is the first time the player gets close to knowing Rika’s past and then is made to feel guilty about not knowing it? 

I just

/inhale

right.

/deep breaths

okay

/breathe

my hands haven’t stopped shaking for hours haHA fuck my life

I can’t help but feel like this after end undid absolutely all of the highlights of V’s route. V only mentions his love being an obsession in the judgement endings.

Actually, all of the RFA’s reactions in the judgement ending are the same as their reactions to finding out the truth about Rika in V’s route. Jumin wants her to have a life sentence despite his conflict about it. Yoosung is upset and mad. Zen wants nothing to do with her.

And this is the ‘bad’ ending.

The forgiveness ending is pretty Rika centric and incorporates V’s good end. The RFA is back to normal, V comes back fine. It’s strongly implied that he and Rika both spent time in Alaska together before coming to propose to MC. Rika, as far as we know, never faced punishment for her crimes, which is framed as a good thing.

Perhaps the most abhorrent part of the forgiveness ending is that it’s the only one where Rika comes forward and confesses the truth about the twins...which...  I’m not sure why C&R’s fate, the Chois being safe etc et al comes down to MC’s feelings about Rika. It’s a disservice to Rika more than anything, because it seems like she only comes clean because MC was nice to her and not because...you know.. it was the right thing to do.

And this brings me onto the treatment of Rika in the route and DLC and holy shit, it’s a ride.

No, Rika is not redeemed. 

Yes, she is woobified to hell and back and then twice more.

We learn that Rika was adopted by Yoosung’s relatives, who were cruel and devoted to the Catholic church. Later she was verbally abused and assaulted by a priest. She later decided to take power in the fact that people would be afraid of her and thought she was Satan etc.

I’ll be blunt.

Rika’s DLC is just an expensive retcon. It’s seven chapters at 60HG each just to be told that Rika had a sad past and all of her terrible actions came from being treated badly. She does not even get to be held accountable for Mint Eye, because Cheritz gave her a sister who actually was the one to tell her not to trust V or the RFA and poisoned her mind.

Rika does not, nor ever, get a proper redemption because even in her own DLC it’s never admitted that she was in the wrong...which is some bullshit logic because...well..it’s really jarring to have it constantly reinforced that Rika did nothing wrong and should not be judged because of her sad past at the hands of her foster mother with cult-like beliefs... because if we take from it the fact that Rika became essentially the same, by extension shouldn’t we then forgive her abusers because we don’t know their story either? Should we shrug off any notion that the priest should be imprisoned because judging people is bad and we just want him to be tortured and forgiveness is the way to go?

I’m just

I don’t know what I expected but

they still managed to disappoint me

To summarise, the after end is bullshit, V isn’t even there for most of it, Rika gets no redemption arc and is treated like an uwu flower crown victim and it’s all very manipulative and rushed lmao. It’s a waste of hourglasses and time and literally undoes everything good that came before it

[legion1993]

I did it...

title: i did it...

pairing: Dean x reader

square filled: apocalypse

rating: pg

tags: breaking the 66 seals, blood, violence

word count:

summery: not telling

created for @heavenandhellbingo​

H&h masterlist

"And it is written, that the first seal shall be broken when a righteous man sheds blood in hell. As he breaks, so shall it break."

Alistar had said that when he was quoting the book of revelations. This is what happened that is what had happened... now we all know the stories or we should in revelations.

We know that the first seal was broken by your boyfriend dean when he was in hell, which was not an easy time for you at all...

Your boyfriend had made a 1 year deal to save his brothers life... little did he nor everyone else know that his being in hell and shedding all that blood would break a seal... well you know now...

Presently loosing out to saving the other seals. Sure they were freak incidents no one could have known were gonna happen... but the last one, you and dean had been working round the clock to make sure that Sam and Ruby were thinking correctly...

Ruby the bitch that sam ditched you for when dean died. you resented her just a little bit for being the reason Sam ditched all contact with you... you were still a mess... 

YN: “i need to get to the church i have to get to lilith before Sam does... i have to get to her before Sam does, i am not gonna let him be the one to curse himself for these seals...”

Dean: “well the good news is we are almost there... dont worry YN we are gonna save our brother... i cant believe we are engaged... i mean good timing with the impending apocalypse but yay i get to marry the love of my life eventually...”

YN: “first we have to stop the seal from being broken we have to stop lilith... then we can get married and make me an official winchester...”

Dean kissed you and led you to the church... it was an abandoned monestary the place where all the demonic signs were peeking...  you went into the monestary prepared to do whatever was necessary to be able to kill lilith to stop the final seal, to stop the rise of lucifur... 

sadly you all misinterpretted the meaning of the last seal... for it went down like this...

you managed to sneak up on Sam, you used a knockout powder to knock him and ruby out... so you could do the dirty deed yourself. to get revenge for the love of your life. 

YN: “sorry Sam, i hope one day you can forgive me for this...”

you walked into the main room and felt your heart sink... you watched as Lilith was standing there at the other end of the room, at some sort of alter... you sealed the door so neither of the boys would be able to get through for a while... 

Lilith: “hello little girl...”

YN: “so you figured id be the one coming...”

Lilith: “well i had hoped it would be Sam and that bitch ruby but i guess you were clearly the one with the most motive...”

YN: “you are gonna pay bitch for killing my boyfriend, for sending him to hell, for breaking those seals. but most importantly i cant allow you to raise lucifer... thats not something i will condone...”

Lilith: “if you think your so tough try and stop me then...”

little did she know you had recently been on a artifact hunt.. oh yes you were fully prepared... you started in a run, the room slowed down, yes you now had some power on your end... 

Lilith and you clashed in a fist fury of power... your greek artifacts were doing what you were told they would do. they were absorbing every single strike that Lilith was throwing your way... 

Lilith: “thats impossible how the hell are you absorbing my attacks, how are you not hurt?”

YN: “thats my secret to know and yours not to know...”

Lilith then was backed up against the alter she had made... you were now not even joking around, you removed your cardigan and revealed the grecian blessed by the gods armor... 

Lilith: “thats impossible...”

YN: “thats my middle name... now this is for the horrible shit you put me through...”

the doors busted open just as you drew your gauntlets and the power you collected into them was now being used as a exorcism source... you had coated them in holy water and blessed them by a priest... 

YN: “enjoy your time in hell bitch...”

thats when you were initiated, blasted back by a blinding light... you were now screwed... the light went away but the earth shook...

that is how it happened, that is how you broke the last seal, without even knowing it... you were the one that started the apocalypse...

[catalina-infanta]

Fantastic Beasts meets Star Wars

I was watching the Fantastic Beasts movies and one thing I love about those films is their use of the main character (the protagonist and Hero) being a bit different than the regular hero, and showing traits of someone with autism (he won't look other characters in the eye for long, his very specific interests of caring for animals to which he has developed specialized expertise, and his comments about how people “often don’t like him”). I, myself, love seeing heroes who aren’t your cookie cutter male alpha, punching people while making sassy remarks. I think Ben Solo/Kylo Ren kinda fits this mold too, as did Luke Skywalker. They just aren’t your usual alpha dog, they have emotions, they are real people.  

Yet, there seem to be some other trends where the writing of the Star Wars sequel trilogy and the Fantastic Beasts series are concerned. 

Black and White Thinking

One is the theme of black and white thinking as being portrayed as evil. Maybe this is even more pressing today. Of course, this is coming about out of Hollywood, as Americans are experiencing more and more the pain and dangers of bipartisanship within their government. Yet on the world stage, however (as I am not American) the insidious effects of how we consume media through computer and search engine algorithms (which gather information particular to our interests and worldviews) means we rarely leave our own information bubbles or read news with which we may disagree with. This is separating us further from others more and more, forming divides and even black and white thinking (us versus them) when we are unable to tolerate or understand other people’s opinions.

In the movies, these topics are being stressed with good versus bad, us versus them and with fascist, totalitarian thinking at play. Even visually this is being represented. For instance, the main villain of Fantastic Beasts, Grindelwald, is repeatedly wearing black and white. Conversely, however, the hero Newt Scamander is shown wearing colours, blue and yellow. And this is not the first movie to make colour an important feature in expression ideas about characters:

 This is showing Grindelwalds polarized, thinking of purebloods against those who are not is black and white (read: wrong). Indeed, in the films expresses this as flawed further when it has the main protagonist, Newt, express distaste at how American wizards cut interaction with muggles out entirely and see them as lesser beings, probably commenting on racism in America and its enduring systemic ills. 

Of course, we all know that black and white is traditionally part of the Star Wars good versus bad, but even this is changing, with Rey moving into greyer garbs from her earlier whiter clothing. 

Forbidden Attachments

Also, much like Jedi were forbidden from attachments, Muggle’s can’t be with magic folk in America (its illegal even). Much like dark force users were taught to fear the dark and stay away from light jedi. There is no middle ground, just bad and good, no learning from each other or expanding, just lines which cannot be crossed. So of course, where you have a plot like this which the writers think are constrictive or wrong, you have your main characters crossing this line (in the case of Fantastic Beasts, to show its wrong and backward, and in the case of Star Wars to show its worth expanding outward and understanding the other side, forgiving and letting those who have fallen back into the fold to repent and redeem and that even they can be good nd have souls worth loving). 

In Fantastic Beasts, one of the main love stories is one between Queenie and Joseph, a witch and a muggle. Like Rey and Kylo Ren, a lightsider and darksider union (we think..but c’mon its pretty obvious they are romantic!). So both movie trilogies have 2 protagonists who are braving this divide, but finding it casts them out, or jeopardizes their union. Rey and Kylo cannot bridge there divide (nor should they with how dark kylo is right now), and in Fantastic Beasts, (***SPOILER***) the American witch Queenie, in the end of the Crimes of Grindelwald has even joined the evil cause of Grindelwald because she (misguidedly) believes they can help her relationship with the Muggle Joseph come to be allowed. 

The Evils of Repression

So above we have two themes, black and white, polarized thinking as being shown as wrong, and main characters attempting to breach these divides between two worlds/belief structures through love. 

But there is one more similarity. In the Fantastic Beasts 1st movie, there is a dark phenomenon known as an Obscurial. According to Wiki fandom, an obscurial is a young wizard or witch who developed a dark parasitical magical force, known as an obscurus, as a result of their magic being suppressed (often through abuse or fear of showing their powers). According to Dumbledore, an Obscurial can possibly be healed by replacing their feelings of alienation with a sense of belonging. 

Repression has long been seen of as something akin to evil in western film and storytelling (often you see priests in TV and movies going through this, self-flagellating, or whipping themselves for their nasty sinful thoughts – and these characters tend to be evil, think of Paul Bettany’s character in Dan Browns Da Vinci Code, or the evil guy Frollo in Hunchback of Notre Dame). 

Something Star Wars has been dealing with since the advent of the prequel trilogy is this idea of repression leading to evil. One of Anakin’s, and I argue Ben’s, troubles was with the repression of their dark natures, or even repression of just their good emotions such as love for Padme or Shmi, causing them to become unbalanced and leading them to evil. I get it, if someone told me I couldn’t love I would grow angry too, and I am pissed with the Jedi – it seems Luke was too. 

The idea that balance is necessary in the Star Wars community is pretty self-evident though, so I wont take too much time explaining this. Ben and Anakin are emotional guys, constantly told to keep it all in, only let the light out, repress your feelings and any darkness that may be felt because that’s “bad” (Yoda’s advice to Anakin when he was fearing for Padme’s death to “rejoice for her” for becoming one with the force sucked, and we are meant to be frustrated by it, because I can't believe George Lucas would expect us to agree with Yoda and believe it was OK for Padme to die and that Anakin should just move on). Indeed, to repress and deny the good and bad inside us is damaging and something we should all avoid – this is the Jungian notion of accepting and resolving yourself with your shadow self, instead of ignoring it until it explodes, much as the Obscurials do when they cant hold it in any longer and they die at a young age. 

As a side note, I was really happy to see Credence didn’t actually die at the end of the first Fantastic Beasts film, because he was obviously an abused and unloved child looking for his parents (sound familiar? Rey?). Although sadly, I’m not sure he will survive the series of films now that he has joined Grindelwald, or that the writers care enough to give this character anything more than redemption equals death scenario and not bother to give him a happy ending or find belonging and peace. 

Conclusion and how these movies should wrap up

Anyways, I guess I just thought it interesting that both films were dealing with similar themes, probably because they are issues we are dealing with in society, but they are issues society deals with all the time in one way or another at all times but perhaps we feel they are more pressing today?

The importance of these themes to these movies, however, means they should be in some way resolved at the end of each series because they aren’t going to reinforce these notions by punishing the characters who act out of the bounds of societies black and white framework. 

With Star Wars, I think there will be a better way to look at how Jedi will go about their business in dealing with the dark side (i.e. with more understanding of what it is instead of fear and rejection), and how individual Jedi will deal with the darkness inside themselves in thier own personal journies to avoid the worst. This will hopefully include some resolution on how future Jedi will deal with attachment - rather than just repressing everything and forgetting about it. I dont think this is something that is valued today in the west, because no one wants to abandon those things about human life that make it most worth living.  

On that note, I also expect the two pairs of lovers of both Star Wars and Fantastic Beasts to be reunited, in order to visually and narratively show a change and love for the other side and repair the longtime split between the groups. Its more than just a sappy ending, it’s a metaphor for how we should think about the “Other” that we are told to fear or belittle by a society that has gone too far in its black and white thinking. So, Queenie should marry Joseph even though Muggles are thought beneath wizards, and Kylo and Rey should both come towards the centre and be together and find their belonging they so desire, thereby resolving their loneliness. (However, this is a whole other question of Kylo’s redemption, etc.). But the notion that Jedis shouldn’t marry be damned! And this is the PERFECT way to show that stupid rule was dumb and resolve the very thing Anakin struggled with in some way. And, for that matter, the notion that forgiveness shouldn’t be given to those who have erred or fallen by the wayside be damned! 

No, in the end, the lesson is that black and white thinking sucks, and love and forgiveness is what matters for those who find it in their hearts, to love, and not fear the other side is what our heroes are showing us, with a multitude of colour to express the variety of people, and emotions, that life can give us. 

[pamphletstoinspire]

Reconciliation: Graced Opportunities

One of my greatest joys as a priest is to be an instrument of God’s mercy to people in the Sacrament of Reconciliation (See below for meaning of the Sacrament of Reconciliation). Some people tell me they leave freer and with a lighter heart after hearing, “Through the ministry of the Church, may God give you pardon and peace, and I absolve you from your sins in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit.” I’m surprised more people don’t use the opportunity for forgiveness and grace.I hope they don’t stay away because of memories of harsh confessors or dark, scary confessionals. Reconciliation rooms I know today have priests who are welcoming and kind.

[Sacrament of Reconciliation:

Three things are required for a sin to be mortal: serious matter, full consent, and full knowledge (cf. CCC 1858-1859).

Serious matter means what has been done is just that — serious. It’s something with real consequences; it matters in my life with God and the Church. Our Church helps us by pointing out certain activities that are serious matters — usually significant violations of the 10 Commandments.

Full consent, the second requirement, means that we freely chose to do it. Doing anything with full freedom is rare because we are weak human beings who often think we are more free than we really are. Things like fear, peer pressure, laziness, addiction, ignorance, pride, and immaturity, often interfere with being truly free.

The same goes with full knowledge. Here we must ask: Did I truly understand and appreciate the ramifications and seriousness of what I did? Did I know it was wrong and fully grasp its sinfulness and its consequences for my life with God, self, and others?

Now here’s the most important thing to remember: To the degree that I was free or had knowledge of what I was doing, I am responsible for sinning. So I may have done something seriously wrong, but it may not be a serious or mortal sin. It is sinful and should be rooted out of our lives, but may not be mortally so.

Our loving God understands our human weakness. That is one reason he became human. He is calling us to full life with his Church and with himself.

Explain mortal sin and venial sin. What’s the difference?

A comment stating that “I’m terrified that I don’t know the difference between mortal and venial sins” came to me via our website. I’d like to address this issue, and hopefully put that person’s mind at ease, by looking at sin as a breach in relationships. This is consistent with what our Church teaches about the effects of Baptism, which states that, by Baptism, we are made children of God and brothers of Jesus in the Holy Spirit. Thus, our first sacramental encounter sets us firmly within a familial bond with God and the Church, who is called our mother.

Like all familial relationships, our life with God and the Church can be enhanced or weakened by our actions and attitudes; it can be built up or torn down. Loving, supportive activities strengthen the bond between us; hateful and unsupportive acts break it down. And that is what sin is—a breakdown in relationships which can be slight (venial) or very serious (mortal) depending on what is done and why it is done.

What determines the severity of a behavior involves freedom and knowledge, for something very serious could be done without it being a mortal sin and vice versa. For example, someone could take another’s life. Was it an accident, and therefore incurs no guilt or sin? Or was it intentional? (Even our court systems distinguish among various degrees of guilt in the case of death.) What is done and why it is done are essential questions.

Therefore, it is impossible to give a list of mortal sins. One can give a list of serious behaviors that have the potential for being mortally sinful if performed with sufficient knowledge and freedom, but they are not automatically serious sins. The deeper questions are what effect did it have on our relationship with God, self, and others? And did we both know and appreciate those effects?

How do we know if what we did was venially or mortally sinful? Through prayerful reflection, we look at the seriousness of the behavior, the degree of freedom we enjoyed at the time, and whether we truly appreciated the moral value of the behavior remembering that we are often less free and appreciative than we sometimes think we are. It may not be as easy to commit a mortal sin as we think it is.

The good news is that God is an all-forgiving and all-loving God. As Jesus told us, “God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but that the world might be saved through him” (Jn 3:16).

What should I confess?

A viewer writes concerning the Sacrament of Reconciliation: “I don’t know how much I should tell the priest. How detailed are we supposed to be?” At a retreat for priests from around the world given by Pope Francis in Rome — a retreat I was privileged to attend — the Holy Father told us that we are not to ask a lot of questions, lest people think we are being nosy. Good advice from a true pastor!

The requirement in canon law is to confess our grave sins by number and species (cf. CIC, can. 988). One commentator explains that this is intended to give a heads up to the priest as to the nature and frequency of a particular sin so that he can appreciate the situation and give appropriate counsel. It is not intended to be an exhaustive list of exact numbers and detailed description of the sinful act. Requiring that would fit into the Pope’s definition of being nosy.

As a confessor, I can say that having a general idea of penitents’ behavior is helpful for assisting them in their spiritual growth. What is not helpful is when a penitent purposefully fudges on details so that the priest has no idea what he/she is talking about. We need to be honest and straightforward so that the confessor knows what we did and can help us grow beyond that particular form of sinful behavior.

For example, it is not helpful to say that I stole money. What would be helpful, and consistent with the requirement of canon law, would be to say “I stole a thousand dollars once, because my family was starving” or “I stole a thousand dollars over a long period of time because that made it easier to not get caught.” Very different situations where number and species are very relevant for the priest to be pastorally helpful.

Finally, knowing what we do and how often we do it can by an eye-opening experience for us as we try to honestly turn to our God in true repentance. An examination of conscience can be a truly helpful practice.

How can one eliminate sins that are committed and confessed over and over? I believe that we have all faced this frustration at one time or another.

I will begin my answer with a reminder that no one overcomes sins by himself or herself. Whether we are victorious over a habit of sin has less to do with our willpower than with God’s grace. It is God who conquers sin, not us. Having said that, I will immediately add that we must cooperate with God’s grace in the process. God does not force anything on us. Rather, he invites us to accept his gifts — one of which is victory over sin.

Whether we suffer from a habit of sin or appear to conquer it has more to do with God than with us. Ours is to pray, avoid the occasions that could lead us into this sin, and trust in God’s loving mercy.

So why does God allow us to wallow in a sinful pattern? Not knowing the mind of God, I can only take stabs at an answer. But I am reminded of Saint Paul’s statement that, when asking to be freed from a “thorn in his side,” God responded that “my grace is sufficient for you, for power is made perfect in weakness” (2 Cor 12:9). In other words, in Saint Paul’s weakness and inability to overcome this evil, he was strong in God’s grace. He knew very well that it was not his own good intentions or willpower that was at work.

As a confessor, I have found that each of us has one area of weakness where we often fail even when we have the best of intentions. Maybe God allows us to recognize our weakness in this one area so that we don’t get cocky and pat ourselves on the back for good achievement. It keeps us humble and recognizing that we need God’s mercy.

If we must confess the same sin year after year, remember that God is allowing this evil for his own purpose. We just need to keep doing our part to pray, avoid those occasions that can lead us into sin, and trust in God’s mercy. Remember that the command to be as perfect as our heavenly Father is a call to conform ourselves to Christ in his obedience to the Father’s will. Such conformity will allow the grace of God to conquer sin within us.

Why can’t I confess my sins directly to God? Why involve a priest?

The Book of Genesis relates that God shared authority with human beings by having them rule over the animals. The Book of Exodus tells of God working through the ministry of Moses to liberate the people. The prophets were men who mediated between God and human beings. Jesus sent his disciples out to share in his ministry of healing and preaching.

God could obviously have done a better job than Adam and Eve, Moses, the prophets, the disciples, or any one of us. But love allows God to share with humans — even knowing that we will mess up. God chose to make certain people mediators of his love and grace for the good of the entire community so that humans would have a share in his ministry.

In each of the sacraments, God’s grace — for it is really his grace that is at the heart of every sacrament—comes to us mediated through people and things. That’s just the way God set it up because of his love for us.

So, too, in the Sacrament of Reconciliation. God forgives through the ministry of a priest. And this gives the sacrament a very warm and human aspect as we hear the words of absolution pronounced officially and authoritatively by a priest who not only represents Christ, but the whole Church. We are human beings with senses and emotions. The mediation of God’s graces speaks to our need to hear and sense his words of forgiveness.

How important is this sacrament in my daily faith journey?

Since we are required to celebrate the Sacrament of Reconciliation only when we are conscious of having committed a mortal sin (cf. CCC, 1457), the sacrament could, theoretically, play a very minimal role in our spiritual life. But that would be very minimalistic to say the least.

The Catechism of the Catholic Church strongly encourages more frequent celebration of the sacrament, stating that even confession of our less serious sins leads to positive effects. It lists the following: confession helps us form our consciences, helps us resist temptation, allows us to experience the healing touch of Christ, and helps us progress in the life of the Spirit (cf. CCC, 1458).

Frequent use of the sacrament also helps us stay attuned to our spiritual lives. The more frequently we become aware of the condition of our life with God, self, and others, the better grip we have on both the progress and lack of progress in our spiritual life. It offers a good barometer of how we are doing.

Making the Sacrament of Reconciliation a vibrant part of one’s spiritual life — especially if it hasn’t been such in quite a while — basically just requires the decision to begin again. Most priests would be willing to help someone back into the swing of things, knowing that the first time back could be a bit awkward.]

Pope Francis once told those gathered in St. Peter’s Square not to be afraid or ashamed to go to confession. You will not “encounter a severe judge there, but the immensely merciful Father. When we go to confession, we feel a bit ashamed. That happens to all of us, but we must remember this shame is a grace that prepares us for the embrace of the Father, who always forgives and always forgives everything.”

We know that confession is not the only way our sins are forgiven. When we are truly contrite and ask, God is ready to forgive. Every Mass begins with the whole community asking for forgiveness.

Why go to confession? I can list five reasons why I go.

1. I meet Jesus there. In the words of Pope Francis, again, “Jesus Christ is the face of the Father’s mercy. Mercy has become living and visible in Jesus of Nazareth….” After his resurrection and ascension, the risen Jesus works through the Church. In the Sacrament of Penance, Jesus acts through the visible priest who is empowered to forgive sins in his name.

2. My examination of conscience serves as a reality check on whether I am being honest with myself and with God, and taking responsibility for my actions.

3. I profit from the objectivity and advice of the priest.

4. The Seal of Confession gives me the absolute assurance that what I say will not be repeated to anyone else.

5. “The forgiven penitent is reconciled with himself in his inmost being,” Pope Saint John Paul II said. As a priest, I have been hearing confessions for over 50 years. Before I was ordained, I remember a priest-teacher telling me, “You will realize many people are much holier than you are.” I find that is very true. Only mortal sins need to be confessed, but the Church recommends confessing “everyday faults” (venial sins) like envy, pride, or impatience. Doing so helps form our conscience and alerts us to harmful tendencies. Both saints and sinners profit from the sacrament.

As a confessor, I respect the conscience of those confessing. Even if people are struggling with sin, I tell them that God sees their good will and walks with them in their struggle.

Saint Augustine of Hippo said, “Whoever confesses his sin is already working with God.” The penitents’ focus is their sins. My focus is God’s love and mercy. To use the metaphor of Pope Francis, the Church is like a field hospital. Spiritual wounds are cared for — for those willing to come.

By: Jeremy Harrington, OFM,

[felsight]

A short thing with my priest & druid as well as @warcraftingfox​ ‘s Mo’hir & Zatna. There’s not much context to this other than the fact I just wanted to write out this scene that’s important to my characters’ stories.

His lungs felt like they were on fire, like they would collapse at any moment. If only it could have been that simple, to end his existence as easily as that. But, no, Celendis had always been a stubborn man. He wouldn’t give up. He couldn’t. Running as quick as his legs could carry him, the elf dipped and dodged through the forest, stumbling every time his robes caught on the tangling vines around him. Instinctively, he pulled his hood closer around him as he ran.

Behind him, his pursuers seemed to be having just as much of a difficult time as he; though they at least had somewhat of an advantage with two of them being druids. Easily, they had simply flown above the trees to keep an eye on him, tracking his every move. The third, another Sin’dorei, despite her agility, had managed to tangle herself just as often as Cel did.

“Get your holy butt back here, Cel, we just want to talk!” The too familiar voice of Zatna rang out behind him, only managing to spur Cel forward even more.

He refused to let the trio capture him. He couldn’t let them see him like this; the void magic he’d embraced months ago had drastically changed his appearance as well as the exile of the Ren’dorei from their homelands, had caused too much shame to the priest. He couldn’t face Zatna. Or Mo’hir. Especially not Nezza.  Too full of shame and guilt, Celendis chose to run from his problems. Run until his legs gave out, if he had to. Until he was ready to face them again as what he now was.

What would his fiance think now? His once beloved partner, now at the mercy of this forbidden magic, at the mercy of the constant whisperings he now heard. Nezza would think him a madman. Insane. A monster. Betrayer. His heart lurched at the thought. It was better this way, better to stay away or risk those closest to him getting hurt.

< Their intentions are misplaced. They will betray you. > < They seek to harm you. Kill them first. > < They know not of the power you posses. Show them what true power is. >

The creeping thoughts caused the priest to hiss and shake his head violently. As he did so, he stumbled again. This time, he fell to his hands and knees and before he knew it, the trio surrounded him. Zatna to his back, Mo’hir and Nezza to the side and front respectively. Both druids had shifted back to their troll forms, Nezza holding out his hands reassuringly as they crept closer like he was a wounded animal.

Maybe he was, in a way.

“Get back!” Cel rasped out as he tried to breath. The energy he exerted in the short amount of time through the forest had caught up with him, causing his body to shake as his lungs tried desperately to fill to quell the fire inside them. His desperate words seemed to halt the other tree in their tracks for the time being. Or maybe they had been caught off guard to the ting to his voice he now carried thanks to the void coursing through him. He wanted to believe the former.

“Easy, mon, it just be us...” Mo’hir replied.

“You shouldn’t b-be here.” He gasped out. “I-it’s not safe.”

“We not be goin’ back wit out ya’.” Nezza stated matter-of-factly. As if Celendis could go back. “Just...Talk to us.”

Cel shook his head fiercely again. “I can’t.”

“Can’t or won’t?” Zatna piped up.

“I CANT!” Cel roared, turning quickly to face her. In his movement, his hood had flew off to lang loosely against his back. Desperately, he grasped for the hood to cover himself but it was too late. Zatna had gone quiet and wide eyed as both Mo’hir and Nezza staggered slightly.

For the next few moments that would stretch on into infinity for the priest, nobody said anything. The only thing to be heard was Celendis’s ragged breaths and the soft caress of the breeze through the leaves overhead.

“I can’t.” Celendis repeated, more sturdy this time. “The others... Other void elves.. We’re no longer welcome in Silvermo-”

“You don’t know that.” Zatna interrupted.

“I know that for a fact, Zatna. The terms of exile are pretty clear.” Cel retorted a bit too harshly to his friend.

Turning to Nezza, the troll’s expression remained unreadable as he gazed at his lover. In his silence, the druid approached the elf. Cel felt the urge to duck away from him, to turn tail and run farther away but with Zatna and Mo’hir flanking his other sides it would be pointless to even try.

Nezza didn’t stop until he was a mere few inches from Celendis before he took his face in his hands, tilting Cel’s head up to look him in the eyes. Reflexively, Cel’s own hands met Nezza’s. Light blue eyes met amber as the two remained like that until finally Nezza spoke.

“What have you done?” He said. His tone was gentle, not at all condescending like Cel half expected. Not full of horror as he imagined so many times.

The priest sighed, his gaze falling from the others to focus on the space between them. “It’s a long story.” he replied.

“We got time.”

“Nezza please listen-”

“No, you listen.” Nezza said stubbornly. “You left us in de dark. You up an’ vanished one day wit out a trace. Not even a letter or anythin’! By Bwonsamdi’s big bones, Cel, I was worried sick! I thought...” The trolls eyes glistened with unshed tears. “For Loa’s sake, I thought you were dead. Do you know what dat’s like? To wake up one mornin’ wit de love of yer life just gone in de night? I blamed myself every day for not protectin’ you bettah.”

“Brudder..” Mo’hir interrupted, placing a hand on Nezza’s shoulder. “Let de mon explain before you go an’ berate him. However..” A stern gaze was sent to Celendis, making the elf squirm slightly. “It betta be a damn good reason.”

Letting out a defeated sigh, Celendis slumped into Nezza’s arms, resting his head against the larger’s chest. “You’re...right. I should have said something. Anything. But.. How could I?”

“A letter would have been nice.” Zatna interjected. The other three shot her a look and she merely shrugged. “Just sayin’.”

“I..suppose a letter would have been best... Please forgive me, dalah’surfal, I didn’t think about the consequences.” Cel said.

“What did you do?”

“Ever since I learned of Magister Umbric’s teachings with the void, I followed him. He gave me a hope that I could return to my former glory as a priest with these methods.” He explained.

“I know dis. I remember from de first day you met ‘im.”

Celendis nodded. “Well. Not very many seemed too keen on the idea of practicing void magic; those that did would end up joining our ranks. Even the Grand Magister himself condemned the practice. He was the first to call for our casting out.”

“So den it’s his fault?” Nezza questioned.

“I told you he was a bitch.” Zatna huffed, ignoring the glare Celendis threw her way. “Relax, family’s family.... sort of.” She muttered.

“No. Not..Not entirely. Not even Umbric fully understood the power he was teaching, not until it was too late and we became like this.” Celendis motioned to his now purple-hued skin and the void tentacles that draped across his shoulders.

“There’s a lot more technicality to it but to spare the details and to make long story short... Nezza, don’t you see? I can heal again.” Cel said, a look of desperation on his face as he searched his partners face for some kind of reaction.

“Question.” Zatna piped up again, raising one of her hands. Turning to her, Cel raised a brow. “Do you happen to know someone a few inches taller than me,  very snarky, power-hungry, narcissistic as hell, with an ego and a god complex to boot?”

“Uh..No? Why?” Cel replies.

“Just askin’. No reason.” She shrugs.

“You have ya’ powers back...At de cost of exile?” Nezza said, capturing Cel’s attention once again.

Celendis nodded.

“Was it worth it?”

He bit his lip as silent tears streamed down his face. “No. It’s not the same. Not without you. Not without home.”

[medievalcat]

ok. I finished Children of God (sequel to The Sparrow), and while I was able to follow it better than when I first read it (I think I was really distracted a few years ago, and had trouble focusing).....I didn’t like it as much as the first one, which I’m aware isn’t an unpopular opinion, even though I didn’t hate all of it. Here are my thoughts on why it didnt work imo and what I did like about it.

The Sparrow would naturally be a hard act to follow, and I get that sometimes sequels do different things than the first installations. book one is about Emilio and book two is about Rakhat. Okay. I think there’s a lot of interesting material that could have been made of Emilio, John, and all the new guys visiting Rakhat years after the first expedition. It’s what the author did- and, really, this was present in the first book as well, and one of the first book’s issues, but here it’s really one of the main points of the story and far more prominent than ever before- that didn’t succeed. It’s the story of Rakhat....but given how Rakhat is written, maybe it shouldnt have been. This book honestly ranged from “enjoyable” to “disappointing” to “implicitly or explicitly expressing horrible views”.

It’s one thing to make an oppression storyline in a fantasy setting- FMA for example does this. But in that, the victims are humans. In this, not only does the story do an oppression narrative about fantasy creatures, which is already a very difficult thing to pull off, she repeatedly draws comparisons between nonhuman aliens and things like the Holocaust and genocide and oppression of Native Americans. She even has her one native character draw this comparison and *stay behind on another planet instead of going to earth* for some “reservation” plotline at the end.  This is a good example of why when we criticize media sometimes we have to focus specifically on the writers who choose to make these events happen, who choose to write certain stories and who choose to frame them in certain ways. I’m kind of glad this book doesn’t have a fandom, really, because tumblr types would focus on which aliens’ side is “right” and not on the fact that the author chose to write some fantasy creature oppression story with incoherent imperialism commentary while trivializing real genocides. I remember a really uncomfortable paragraph in the first one that implied the Ottoman Empire was some kind of safe haven for all ethnic/religious groups as well as a line (keep in mind these were written in the 90s) about how Bosnia is violent because of ............ “blood feuds”. Many people have said this story is weak because it focused on these new alien characters and the Rakhat storyline so much. This, for me, is the main reason why that storyline was so weak.

One thing I liked was some of the new characters. I liked Danny and Joseba and Nico and Sean and Gina and Pope Gelasius. I think this book kind of did a “later season of Vikings” so that there were suddenly all these new people but few of them got good development. So that was a weakness but I didn’t mind many of the characters in and of themselves and enjoyed these new additions. Sure they weren’t like the people in the first book but that’s okay. They added new perspectives. Danny had a lot of interesting stuff about forgiveness that I liked. I also liked initially how Sofia was revealed to be alive but....she was shafted. We barely see her in favor of her badly offensively written written son (I know this was written 20 years ago but. the way he and his disability are portrayed as like...literally “alien” even though ths is supposed to be a “positive”.... is honestly....why  the living fuck did she do this....) and Supaari’s daughter who he CONCEIVED FROM RAPE and we’re just supposed to be ok with that bc the author very conveniently wrote the victim to be as unsympathetic as possible and because “uwu miracle of life!! yay children!” I’m supposed to buy that Sofia, a child trafficking survivor, is allies and friends with a man who not only is a rapist but sold a person she loved into sex slavery.......after the narrative called to attention how similar Sofia and Emilio’s experiences were, and the first book was an imperfect story but a deep introspective exploration of the effects of SA.....lol ok. And then she gets killed off at the end offscreen in a single sentence.

There’s also....I really doubt she intended some of this but it’s clearly in the story .... it really has bad implications, that the only relations between men are abusive in both books. there are literally no other relations between men, even though there is a gay character (who I understand  is a celibate priest, and having a gay priest is cool!) but....it just doesnt have good implications that relations between men are only ever presented as bad. especially because the thing that truly “heals” Emilio is being with a woman and I think in our society (and thus our media) we have a real problem with thinking that “healing” as a sexual abuse victim means having sex with a man if youre a woman and with a woman if you’re a man, and that male sa victims of men are only really victims if they like women (and, of course, women sa victims in general just have to like men). Of course there is nothing wrong with Gina, I loved her, and nothing is wrong with writing an sa survivor who is able to have a relationship after. But MDR killed her off for no good reason. The other crew members dying in the first book, those were well written character deaths. and how many times did she do the “this woman died but thats whatever narratively, because she has a kid uwu miracle of life” thing in this sequel. I think MDR is like GRRM in that she has good intentions clearly, and has such good sff works/characters and takes oh the Human Experience and everything, but doesn’t always know how to handle issues in a responsible way and it’s really glaring even if there are obviously worse people in media. To be honest (and again, here Im glad there’s no fandom, because people are so weird about this stuff) MDR should have just had Emilio and John be together. “Your friendship should have been proof enough of God” ???????? hello??????  Their relationship was one of  the things that actually was well fleshed out in the sequel until John and all the other guys who weren’t in the Camorra  just.....stayed on Rakhat forever.

Part of the handling of Sofia seemed like a broader pattern of the plot being completely forced. Everything happens for some sake of The Plot- this is something later seasons of GOT have been criticized for. This plot in particular, in addition to the alien oppression metaphor, seemed to want to make everything about the story in particular its end be some kind of “bookend” to mirror the first book. Sofia dies (for real this time. honestly....her death in the first one was good writing!), Emilio and his unlikely escorts go home, no one else gets to go home, there’s a huge societal upheaval on Rakhat because of the humans, a huge reveal about Rakhat’s “divine” music. I have nothing against this kind of narrative device but when it’s this forced to the point where the story is blatantly constructed for the sake of this......it didn’t work. The “music” plot twist was like..............really??? All of that? They’re staying on this planet? If they had all gotten more time in the story (because this book is the same length as the first book but has far more different subplots and far longer of a timespan and far more narrators) we might  find that more plausible. I don’t think everything needs to be spelled out for us. In the first book when everyone is stranded, it’s clear that they think this is tragic, but they are trying to make the best of it because they all love each other and are together. In this one they don’t all have that kind of bond and it’s dependent on the long-winded and incoherent Rakhat political storyline. Because a lot of it isn’t even that well developed in addition to the earlier addressed things. We go between random one-off characters. So much is about the war but it’s written so anti-climatically. Sofia broke down in the first book when she learned they were stranded, and now she doesn’t care at all about returning back to Earth because the Runa are “her people” now, but how much of that is really what she tells herself to cope with what she lost- and what she experienced on earth in her youth? we don’t know. The Pope just....sent Emilio who became probably the most infamous person on Earth, back into space, and it wasn’t a big deal for the Church or at all? And all it took for it to happen was a handful of Camorra men with Vatican connections, who were just adapted so well to space travel and extended time on a new planet that initially made the people in the first book sick when transitioning into life there? And let me reiterate we’re supposed to accept that the divinely ordained reason all this happened was because Isaac wrote music inspired by human and alien dna and it sounded wonderful? 

This just felt very forced. “Emilio never wants to go back to Rakhat so obviously this book has to be about how he goes back there and accepts that it actually happened for a Good Reason bc of some music, and music was the way they found it in the first place.” How about how he accepts that it happened and comes to terms with what happened to him without either hating himself for his actions or thinking it was all For The Greater Good Actually, because you cant undo the past, aka what the first book was building up to and culminated in? idk. the first book was all about how bad things happen and that this doesn’t mean we have to give up our faith even if we question our faith. this was more like “every cloud has a silver lining lol”.

There were many nice things- Emilio’s friendship with Nico, many of the moments with Sofia towards the end and her reuniting with Emilio, John getting more to do, the new Pope, Celestina ending up having an important job as a theater and leaving a trail of men in her wake lol. I don’t want to say don’t read this. But if you like the first book you might not like this one, and if you’re considering reading the first book, it.....works best as a standalone.

[eorzean-gents-blog]

A Comrade

Perhaps characteristically, Claisent had found a seat in the corner of the tavern; the better to ensure that he could only be approached from the front. A soldier’s habit, to be certain. His gleaming red greatsword, entrusted to him what felt like half a lifetime ago by Kosetsu, sat propped against the wall on his right, within easy reach.

“Momone. Thank you for coming on such short notice.”

The blonde Lalafell tottered over from the doorway, still wearing yesterday’s scale mail armour, cloak sweeping almost dramatically around her.

“It’s alright! I’ll admit, I was a little surprised you called for me. Still – how can I help?”

“I… have a confession to make.” Claisent’s expression was solemn. “And a rather dangerous plan I’m about to set in motion. Things will get… delicate. I need someone on side who I can trust to get a job done.”

“Ah… Y-yes, of course!” Momone looked curious, but unperturbed. “Is… this something I can confide in Kosetsu, or is it… extra delicate?”

“Kosetsu’s help will be appreciated, but I need a lighter touch, first and foremost…” Claisent trailed off, looked askance. “…I suppose I should start from the beginning, if you’re to understand what I wish to ask of you.” Momone nodded, walked around the Elezen to sit beside him. She took a moment to divest herself of her shield and scabbard belt, setting both upon the wall beside her seat before turning her attention fully to Claisent.

"...This quest I've been pursuing, since before I left the Kindred. I've been hunting a Halonic Inquisitor who's been continuing his own private Dragonsong War. He's been rooting out suspected heretics even outside of Coerthas, putting them to the sword or the torch without any talk of trial."

Momone stared wide-eyed. "Wh- but how? The... isn't Ishgard forming into a republic, now? Especially with the controversy in what was the Holy See?"

"He couldn't care less. The man's on a crusade - he has no intention of forgiving people he considers to have betrayed the church... Point is, he's discovered that I'm onto him. And he's taken a particular interest, since he's the reason I fled Coerthas in the first place... I too was a heretic." Claisent let that confession sit for a moment. "I was young. Shocked and frightened by the war. Taken in by the promises and propaganda."

Momone looked almost equally uncertain how to process this revelation. She looked down and away; remained pensive for a time. At last, she opened her mouth.

“What changed?”

"The Inquisitor. Elvaut Subier is his name. I had fallen in with a large unit that answered to Lady Iceheart. Made our encampment in the depths of the highlands. Somehow, Subier found us. He didn't just want us dead. He wanted us to destroy each other. Wanted to punish us for our sins, in his own way. So when he led his Temple Knights to destroy the camp one bloody morning, he planted a letter on one of the corpses.

“That letter framed me as an informant, who had gone turncoat and given away the camp's location in exchange for leniency. Clearly, he meant for it to be found by any survivors, to set them against me, and me against them. It worked. I was out on patrol that morning, with six others. Among them, an up and coming young leader... Avenne. A woman I'd very much come to admire. To love."

Claisent paused. Melancholy chiselled furrows into his face. "When we got back, we found a killing field. The tents were trampled and burned, supplies looted or destroyed. Bodies in fucking piles, from one end of the camp to the other. Avenne... she lost good friends. Lost a sister, somewhere in that carnage. She... found the letter first. Showed it to the others... Gods, the way their faces twisted as they read it. I had to snatch it from them just to find out why they were suddenly screaming accusations at me. 'Murderer.' 'Traitor.'"

Momone looked for all the world like what she was being told was only now beginning to make sense. Deep sadness pulled at her expression. “Even in war, that’s… gods, it’s terrible. So cruel…”

“Before I’d even finished reading,” Claisent continued, “Eauglant had drawn his sword and run shrieking at me. The others followed... Mad with grief. With rage. They fell for Subier's bait without a second thought... I just... I had to defend myself." His voice quavered, though he didn’t appear to have noticed. He stared unfocused at the far wall. Momone pulled her gaze away and frowned, a mask of anger giving way to sympathy, sadness.

“…I’m…. I’m so sorry, Claisent.”

Claisent closed his eyes. He collected himself enough to manage a shallow nod of acknowledgement and thanks.

"...When it was over, I took the letter, gathered what provisions I could, and ran. There was naught left for me there... far too many bodies to bury. The beasts and the snow would claim them… I abandoned the war. Both sides wanted my head. Both had lost my loyalty. I struck south and wandered. Collected myself. Tried to decide what I would do. I found myself in Ul'dah... found my way to the hall of the Kindred."

Momone gave a slow nod. “And that’s where we met you…”

“Aye. Damn well saved me. Gave me something new to fight for – something real.”

Momone looked at the floor again. "It's... difficult for me to know what is right in all of this. ... maybe, it's easier because I'm not of Ishgard. But... the Ishgardians and the Dravanians fought for... so long. You..." She pulled her head up. "...Before you lost your friends, I'd guess you fought and killed your share of Ishgardians, too?"

"...Aye, my share. Saw them as the enemy - all of us converts had come to see them as the enemy."

"...So... for the Ishgardian Inquisition to retaliate during that time was... the nature of war." She sighed and folded her arms. "...But too cruel... even in war, there's a certain code of conduct, but..." She looked back up to Claisent. "...You say he continued - that he's been continuing, after the peace?"

"He has. In his fanatic mind, heretics don't deserve peace. They deserve to be rooted out and destroyed, wherever he may find them. And he's not alone - plenty of fundamentalists opposed Ser Aymeric's rise to power, and still oppose the ongoing changes." At that, Momone’s lips pursed sharply; clearly displeased by that prospect rather than resigned to some horror of war. "Well... in those terms, it's simpler to decide what is just. If he's continued, despite peace, and in the name of the Holy See or the Church... then he needs to be stopped.” She canted her head at Claisent. "...But, this is about revenge for you first, is it not?"

"...I won't lie. My reasons for wanting his head on a spike are very personal. But he has a lot of support - Temple Knights who answer to him, clergymen and nobles who offer his cause their support under the table."

Momone arched a disbelieving eyebrow. "Is there no evidence with which to accuse this man, or his followers, and bring him to justice? ... even in the Holy See, there is a judiciary!"

Claisent gave a shrug. "Were he just one man, I'd take his head and be done with it. But I can't be certain how deep this bloody conspiracy has dug its roots. If I'm going to stop him and his supporters both, I need to drag the whole thing into the light... Which brings me, at last, to the reason I'm telling you all of this.

"I've been compiling evidence, slowly and surely, through my own investigation. Locations, material finds, names of priests and citizens with connections to Subier and his little splinter cell of Temple Knights. But like I said, Subier has found out that I'm onto him. If he moves against me, he'll do it fast and hard - won't give me a chance to make any clever plays. So I... wish for you to do it for me, if you're willing to lend me your aid.”

“M-me?!”

Claisent thumbed his greatsword. “Here’s what I want you to do. I've kept my dossier of evidence in a safe place, and I’ll be leaving the sword there tonight. If you have a map of the Black Shroud on you, I'll mark the location. Over the next few weeks, you may hear these words over your linkpearl: 'raise up the righteous.' If you hear that signal, or if I simply drop out of contact altogether, you'll know that I've been found out. Go to my drop point immediately, and uncover the dossier.

“Reach out to Kosetsu if you hear the signal, and explain to her while you recover the documents. Have her take the sword - if there's any chance you may be able to find me and help me, I'll like have need of a good weapon."

Momone patted through her belongings while Claisent spoke. She eventually reached a pouch at her back from which she produced a roll of several sheets of parchment. From among those, she brought a map of the Black Shroud to the fore, offered it to Claisent; he produced a stick of black chalk to mark a spot familiar to the Lalafell with a small cross. ”I… This is all so cloak and dagger.” She looked worriedly up at Claisent. “How… will we know where to find you? If at all? And what am I to do with what you leave at this drop point?”

"Make all haste to Ishgard. Take the dossier to the Tribunal, and present it as proof of Subier's plot. He'll think he has me at his mercy - he won't expect me to have struck the death blow from elsewhere."

Momone’s expression was yet full of questions. "I- I'm sorry, I just walk into the Tribunal? Without an appointment? What if you're not there? And will they even speak with a-a foreigner?"

“They'll have to. Unless every man in the building is in Subier's pocket already, they can't argue with hard evidence. Besides, you'll have Kosetsu with you - I guarantee she won't take no for an answer."

"W-well, yes, but... you still haven't said what we do if you're not there!” Momone protested. “W-we'll need to rescue you first!"

Claisent looked away, pursed his lips. “…That part, I’m not certain of yet.”

This simple response caught Momone quite off guard. A lengthy silence passed; she stared at him in fearful wonder.

“…You value seeing this man fall more than your own life, don’t you?”

Claisent found himself staring at the far wall again. His expression was almost flat, and he spoke at first without pomp or gravity when he opened his mouth to answer.” Frankly, he might just end me on the spot. He might want to take his time and enjoy having finally gotten the better of me. I don't care. My first love and my best friends went to their deaths believing me guilty of a betrayal I didn't commit. I have to bring the truth to light. Whatever it takes.”

“Claisent…” Momone’s voice bore a note of deep sadness.

“Momone… Only you and Kosetsu can see this through for me, true and strong as you are. I dare not ask it of anyone else. If it costs me my life, I'll know I've left the rest in the best hands…” Quite suddenly, he leaned forward off his chair to kneel before his Lalafellin companion. “I beg of you. Help me put a stop to this fanatic.”

Momone near recoiled in surprise, gazing at the Elezen. “I…” Caught off guard by his sudden earnestness, a faint flush filled her cheeks. She took a moment to compose herself, gave a nod. “I-I will. This is the sort of wrong a Free Paladin is meant to set right.” Her face set into a more solemn expression, and she gave another, decisive nod. “I promise.”

The worry on Claisent’s face was washed away by relief. “Thank you. Thank you.”

“Do… are you going to have another weapon with you? Where are you going, exactly?”

“To continue my investigation, in Ishgard proper.” The Elezen climbed to regain his seat. “If I can find any other way to strengthen my case against Subier, I’d be a fool not to. All of this… this is just me taking precautions in case he strikes first.”

Momone looked back down at the marked map. “…Will we have enough right now, in case he…?”

Claisent nodded. “It’s… pretty damning, taken on its face. What's important is that it implicates a host of people other than him. Key members of his support in the city, fundamentalists who quietly champion his cause."

Momone nodded along. "If his support is as deep as you say, then... yes, one would need to bring them to light, too." She began to roll the maps back up to stow them away in their pouch. “Raise up the righteous,” she murmured to herself, then looked up at Claisent. He caught her eye, managed a smile for a moment, then turned away. He pressed his eyes shut, frowning apologetically.

“…I’m sorry, Momone. It… it’s not fair of me to drop all of this on you at once. I just… I’m not sure where else to turn.”

Momone pivoted in her chair to fully face the Elezen. "Oh, there's no reason to be sad. It's... These sorts of things are what I think I've always been meant to do." She mustered her characteristic sunny smile. “…May I tell you a story, in kind?”

Claisent couldn’t help but crack a smile of his own at the infectious cheer on Momone’s face. “Of course.”

“All my life, the only thing I ever wanted to be was Sultansworn: to be the embodiment of the knights of old, protecting the House of Thorne - and later Ul, of course. I trained as hard as I could... joined the Immortal Flames... and even saw Carteneau before I took my trials, and my oaths, and became a paladin.” She kept up her smile. "Three cycles afterwards, I resigned - and begged Papashan's leave to walk as a Free Paladin. And do you want to know the reason why?"

Claisent’s face fell so hard, he almost had to physically reach to keep his jaw off the floor. This cheery little knight was at Carteneau?!

“…Why?”

"Because I realised that there were people out there who needed a paladin more than Her Grace did. Someone to stand beside them, and with them, through all their trials and their weakest moments - even if they're normally very strong." Melancholy briefly crossed her face. "I... still carry regret over breaking that vow; something I pray Thal, Halone, and the others of the Twelve will grant forgiveness when my time comes. But nevertheless: with the help of Kosetsu, and many other friends, I came to that conclusion."

Her sunny smile returned. "...I believe I was meant to help bear the burdens of others when they need it most. And if they truly need me, and are just, then I will."

Claisent felt a thoroughly genuine smile having fixed itself upon his face after hearing Momone out. Awash with new admiration, he gazed into her warm, resolute eyes. “…You’re truly a formidable woman, Momone.”

She raised a hand to wave away the compliment. "N-not really! Just always trying to give things my best. Anyroad... Do not lament confiding in me something deeply personal and painful. ... I am grateful, actually!"

Claisent nodded. "...I do feel a little better. It's... weighed on me so heavily, all this time."

“Have you not had many people to speak to about it?”

“You’re… what, the fourth person to have heard the full story. Naturally, it’s… not something I’ve wished to wear on my sleeve.”

“Yes, I-I suppose I can understand. Still – thank you for confiding in me.”

Another nod from the Elezen. “…I hold out hope that things in Ishgard will get better.”

“So do I… Is there anything else that I ought to know before you set out?”

“…Come armed. Mayhap you’ll catch me at the Tribunal; mayhap you’ll have to search for me. Either way, don’t expect me to be handed over without a fight.”

Momone gave a resolute nod. “I understand. We’ll… come ready for the worst, then.” She hopped off her seat, set about fastening her scabbard belt about her, fetched her shield. Likewise, Claisent stood and retrieved his greatsword. The Lalafell craned her head up to look at her companion, nearly three times her height. “…I wish you luck, Clai. I’ll pray that Halone will watch over you, especially.”

“…Likewise, Momone. Worst comes to worst, you’ll have a battle ahead – but I wouldn’t want to be the poor sod who tries to keep you and Kosetsu from me.”

Momone nodded enthusiastically. “Kosetsu is nothing if not determined! …And the same goes for me, too, I suppose. After all – I made a promise now! I can’t go back on that.” That sunny smile remained; Claisent smiled in kind.

“Truly, I couldn’t be in safer hands.”

The deadbolt clanked loudly; the heavy cell door creaked open. Two Temple Knights, hidden behind their featureless helms, marched into the dank room. From his spot in the corner, Claisent raised his head to sneer up at them, blinking blearily to look past the blood that caked his face. The knights stooped over, grabbed him by the arms, hauled him to his feet. Subier appeared in the doorway; the knights shoved Claisent forward, still holding him.

“It’s time,” he declared, sounding thoroughly pleased with himself.

“For what?” Claisent deadpanned.

“Your trial, of course!” Subier sounded almost excited. “Since you’re my prisoner, it wouldn’t do for you to simply disappear. So you’ll be brought before the Tribunal. You will answer for your crimes against Halone there.” He strode forward, swung a sudden hooking punch. The knights released Claisent as he reeled beneath the blow, let him sink to a knee. He raised his hands defensively across his head in the instant before he was pulled back to his feet.

“This could not have been more overdue,” Subier sneered. His excitement was gone; his voice dripped with fresh malice. Claisent only smiled defiantly.

“The Tribunal?” he repeated. “Of course you realise I’m going to fight.

“Raise up the righteous and cast down the wicked, and all that.”

[mechagalaxy]

John T Mainer 28840: Temple of the Cog, Cogwork Port

Opportunity

Temple of the Cog, Cogwork Port

“This machine is discharged into your care. Fight with this machine, and guard it from the shame of defeat. Serve this machine, as you would have fight it for you.”

Gustavus Adolfus, once known as the Lion of the North, warlord of Cogwork, now known only as Brother Gustav of the Temple of the Cog chanted the Ceremony of Commission as he turned over the new Smilodon to the fresh faced Myth and Legends pilot. The Smilodon had been one of his favorite machines, back in the days when the Dilophos was the largest to stalk the field, he had hunted them with his Smilodon and covered himself with glory.

Now god machines strode the earth one hundred and five tons, with every manufacturer seeking to go better, build larger. The limits were twofold. First, suspension for the machines was a serious issue. Two legged machines either couldn’t move fast enough or became unbalanced when automatic dodge shifted the center of mass too quickly. Four legged machines simply lacked the processing speed for a central network to coordinate at maximum efficiency; they were stable but dodged poorly. What was needed was instinct, and that came only from the machine spirit. There were few machine spirits powerful enough for 105 ton mecha. How could there be a machine spirit powerful enough for a 110 ton mecha?

Brother Gustav sighed “What machine has a spirit to reach such limits?”

Unaware he had spoken aloud, he was surprised when a burst of machine cant blasted a reply. A picture of some sort of wheeled automaton, ancient beyond belief was inloaded with the binaric cant burst. The coding on the burst read “Opportunity Rover”.

Turning his head, Brother Gustav saw the Archivist Jane, barely more than a child, and hard to keep on task, the young Archavist was considered to be worth training due to her deep love of machine lore, and laser like focus on research tasks that interested her. The code burst had come from her, and she broke into a happy babble as he replied with an automated request for more data.

“Forgive me Brother Gustav, but you asked for a machine spirit that could reach some limit? How about an ancient machine that didn’t just reach its limits, it blasted right through them. Back before the waygates were discovered, before we learned about niode matrix computer systems and travel in space was with reaction rockets, the first missions to Mars were machine probes called Rovers.

One of them was called Opportunity Rover. He was solar powered and supposed to last ninety days on the surface of the world named for the War God. He lasted fifteen years and his last words made me weep, for even as he died his spirit burned brightly”

She made the sign of the Cog with her interlaced fingers and beamed to him the last transmission of Opportunity Rover.

[My battery is low and it’s getting dark]

As a tech priest and mecha pilot, his implant gave him the full feed NASA engineers could only dream of. He felt Opportunity Rover’s status, system by system. Saw the war he waged to save power through the winter dust storms, and the fault from the landing damage; the arm stuck with power on, draining the Rover even when it went to power saving mode. The little machine fought fifteen years through storm and winter, only to bleed out on the lifeless sands of the war world, still fighting to serve its masters with the loyalty of the purest machine.

Turning to the Archivist, he grabbed her and in a flash of binaric cant, for human speech was too slow, demanded to know if Opportunity Rover was ever recovered, where it’s body was, if its coding survived. Rather than feeling threatened and summoning guards, Archavist Jane opened her datafeed wide and a cascade of linked files opened. Opportunity had been lost, never recovered, but mapping programs showed a small area where it must be located, no more than a few square kilometers of broken land, shattered during the planetary bombardment that ended the Star League. It was possible Opportunity Rover survived.

Brother Gustav threw back his head and laughed. “Get your breathing gear, Archavist. Meet me at the mecha bay. You will ride jumpseat in my Smilodon as we go seek this great machine, for such spirit will not go down quietly into death”

On the fifteenth day of their search, the Smilodon’s sensors picked up a unique Gallium Arsenide signature, similar to the Rover solar panels. Digging in with his claws, Gustav burrowed down into he blood-iron earth of mars to find the broken body of the Opportunity Rover. Feeding a trickle charge to the processing core, he received a reply.

[Battery dead. External feed detected, restart systems Y/N?]

Whispering softy, Gustav sent {N} Then a blast of binaric cant. {Your body is broken, great machine spirit, the children of your makers have returned to build you a body worthy of your matchless spirit}

Golden armor from the Cogwork ferrite should have turned the machine bronze/gold, but the blood red of Mars was deep in Opportunity Rover’s soul, and thus the Red Planet bled into the armor of the Cyberdon. The core programming of the Smilodon was loaded into the dispersed processors of the limbs, that it should move with the grace of a Smilodon, but no existing machine spirit could link through such a mass. The test became now to awaken, to live and to know. Gustav turned to the Archavist, jacked himself into the sleeping AI and waited for Archivist Jane to upload the Opportunity Rover core program into the blank AI, so it could infuse the most complex Niode powered artificial intelligence core ever created with the spirit of one of man’s first great transcendent machines.

The spirit born of five hundred and thirty three kilograms of NASA tech flowered within one hundred and ten tons of Niode, Crystal and Ferrite. Pure in its desire to serve, the AI reached out towards its long dead masters, first radio, then slowly, becoming aware of other sensors, it extended its awareness into the new channels, and drank in the wonder of full spectrum active and passive sensors.

[Who are you?] The thought had huge power, and no anger or fear as it washed through Gustav’s pilot implant with quiet sea deep power.

{I am your pilot, Brother Gustav}

[I am not alone?]

{Never again. Nor shall you fear the dark, for your batteries have been replaced with a fusion core that will burn for eternity. No you will not hunt alone, but as one with your makers}

Joy suffused the big machine as it rose and stalked the room, weapons and sensors unfolding and powering up as the AI and Pilot brought all 110tons to purring life and potency.

[I am not as I was. What am I now?]

I sent to him the full glory of his potential development, the full potential of his weapons and systems, and felt him reach into me for memories of ten thousand battles to read what this meant.

{You are CYBERDON} I sent him

His roar shook the temple to its foundation, his eyes blazed with power and I felt his spirt synch the disparate nodes into one tech-organic whole, moving more smoothly than a newborn Smilodon for all his vast size. He was pleased.

Archivist Jane spoke the holy words of union, letting them sound from her lips, and wash over us in binaric cant through every wavelength.

“This machine is discharged into your care. Fight with this machine, and guard it from the shame of defeat. Serve this machine, as you would have fight it for you.”

The machine that would not die lives again. The machine that accepted no limit on the War God’s world will now shatter all limits as it takes the field, the largest machine of war in Mecha Galaxy.

John T Mainer 28840

[matt-the-blind-cinnamon-roll]

dress how i want wihout feeling like its not me, change people... for the last time sorry, i kind of used u as a copying mechanism to vent, when i cant do that with somebody else, i talk wit people, but im not myself with them... really thank you, ;you dont have to answer, i will figure myself out, like i always do :)

hello, im not really sure how to put this so ill just go ahead: i come from a racist country, its also homophobic, transphobic, all kinds of awful things, not too long ago a far right party who won the election even wanted to completely ban abortion, about 2 months ago one of the teachers at my school spend an entire lesson talking about how abortion is making woman miserable, she talked about a woman that had about 40 abortions and was simply a wreck after that, she used all kind of words 1/10 

even some kind of "research" that said that a womans body after abortion is in an unnatural state, that it doesnt know what happened and cant function properly... last week in my brothers school a teacher that also thaught me in middle school literally called abortion murder and showed my brothers class a movie in which abortion was shown, they could see little arms and parts break and being cut, my brother said that the narrator of the movie said that you can even hear the bones break, 2/10

my brother is also pretty corrupted, last year he said that he doesnt like gays and is racist, hes dumb, his racism, sexism, homophobia was just jokes,it was just a thing u could have a laugh at, but it was still bad, i tried talking with him, whenever he maid a "joke" i confronted him, i was mad and i think its working, he is getting better, we talk and we listen, im not really close to my family, i would die for them i can joke around with them but i cannot show them affection,weakness, 3/10

fears,my vurnerable side,cant show anyone, i have some issues... i love my country and its history, but if there is a god i hope he forgives me for looking down on people like that, even my family (i remember a situation where my mom ,after comin from a family gathering i didnt go to, told me with a smile how my uncle that day wanted to beat up some boys that were kissing, apparently it was a funny story they were all sharing and when i told her how wrong is that she said that 4/10

she said that they didnt mean it, they were just joking; i know every country has lgbt people, but i really couldnt even believe for a second that there actually are gay people in my country, i was so happy, it was the first time i had "closer" contact with them on my land ( ive been to germany to work last year when... when i was 17 and i met a gay person but we didnt really talk because of the language barrier and we simply had to work, we just smiled when we saw each other), sorry this 5/10

is so elaborate... this is just a tiny little bit of my experiences with a wide range of social issues, but this is the first time i let myself go, i have so much to say... i really want to bring change into my country, i feel like i can do it i feel like i can bring people closer, make them more aware of social issues, enviromental problems, i often dream about being a celebrity/politician just to have that exposure to the people, i want my country to improve, i want people to feel 6/10

save in it, but i dont know how... like ? being an activist ? going into politics ? starting an organization? i honestly dont know how to start, and i am scared that my own kin will kill me for it, still i want to bring that sweet change, sorry for this post, but the reality is that tumblr have thaught me more than school ever did and i recon ever will... i know im smart, i know im tough, i really feel in my bones that i can do it, but how? im not rich, dont have connections, 7/0

what can i do?forgive me if i made you feel pressured i just want to help my people, aid my country - thank you for reading and sorry it was so long. --- Also there were some good things that happened, the boy in my class that protected the lgbt community from my homophobic priest and some other stupid boys from my class, the time i read the essay about that situation in front of my entire english group and the teacher that taught that priest, i also think i might had have made her think 8/10

hi, im the one from those 1/10 messages, i dont know how many ive send because my computer run out of power while i was passionately sending the written messages, it was like a bucket of ice cold water was dumped on me :) sorry for that, just could you advice me what i can do with lgbt, sexism, rasism isseues in my country? 1/3

btw. dont know if this is important but i think i may be bi, or whatever competely not caring about someones gender is.. you don't have to answer, i get it :] i just fell empty today and wrote something, ill think about what i can do, ill be allright, so sorry for all of that... hope in one and a half a year when i go to college ill meet people that will understand, that i can pour my feelings out, i hope i can finally start acting like i want to witout barriers, 2/3 

Ok nonny, take a deep breath for me, ok? 

Now, read on. 

I know you’re scared. I’m in a somewhat similar place right now. What you need to do is that you cannot do any kind of help if you’re dead or imprisoned. I have a vague idea of where you are, and you’re right, you are in danger. 

But honey, you can’t help anyone if you’re dead. Play it safe. Keep an eye out. Learn the codes and symbols for hate groups. Memorize them. Know when they’re around and learn to when it’s safe to speak and safe not to. 

Secondly, the internet is key. In order to help you need to keep this channel of communication open. Through this, you can help. It may seem like you’re shouting into the void sometimes, but Twitter and Tumblr are hotspots for help and revolution. Plus, you can make international friends. You mentioned you’re in Europe which is great; you can hop a border damn near any time. You can try to run if you have to, or help others to run. 

If you want something more hands on, I suggest trying to get involved with a local LGBT society, or something like Amnesty International. I myself make calls on behalf of the ACLU and I do some minor PR for the the Resistance on Twitter. 

But most of all remember this; we are stronger together. We cannot let their hateful lies tears us apart. We must link arms and face this storm together and we will weather it through. 

Do not give up. Do not give up the flame. Do not go gentle into that goodnight. Let that fear fuel your anger and let your anger fuel your voice and your actions. 

I’d like it if you’d check in with me every so often, ok? So I know you’re safe. 

Be safe. Stay strong. Keep an eye out. Constant vigilance. 

[sidelpunchna-blog]

Muslim dating a catholic girl

Catholic man dating a Muslim woman? Help please. : CatholicDating You two just need to talk things out and see where the two of you stand.  You'll never be disappointed in her being a passionate lover, a devoted mother, or a faithful wife.  I encourage you to pray about your decision and to seek counsel from either a priest or someone you know can help guide you in spiritual matters.  Honest to God, I have no problem with that.  Where can priests and campus ministers go when called upon to counsel the small but growing number of such couples? If you want Muslim online dating to be fruitful, make sure you're willing to get married and create a family.

Christian girl in love with a Muslim boy Me and him plan to live in either America or in Dubai after marriage.  Another area of difficulty for these couples is how to teach their children about Jesus.  I wouldn't worry about the religion its ok for him to marry a christian.  This will demonstrate your meaningful intentions.  Suffering makes sense and can be put in perspective and have redemptive value in light of the Cross, but without the Cross it is simply something to avoid or just endure.  Love is never prohibited in Islam.  Emotions about the sacrament run deep for both Christians and Muslims, and most people do not realize how visceral their reaction to the mere word may be.

Muslim dating a Catholic girl? What was unusual about this gathering was that it brought together Christians and Muslims who are married, engaged or seriously considering marriage.  If he is more lax and willing to discuss the catholic side of things then try that.  Hi I am a catholic women from Ireland, dating a Muslim man from Pakistan,we have been dating almost a year now and everything is going great,I'm so much in love with him and he tells me I'm the best thing that happened in his life,he respects my religion as I do with his,he allows me to eat pork,never would stop me,he even offers to buy it for me ,he also drinks alcohol and takes me out for drinks,we have been talking about getting married and having kids together which I am totally happy with as we get on so well together and I can see myself spending life with this man and he says the same! She could not touch his Koran.  But what is the way to combine the romantic feel of present days with traditional values of religious females? We both want to make things work and don't want to lose what we have, but I do not feel like I can convert and same goes with her.  If he is serious about you and your relationship then he will marry you.  In terms of what you believe about Islam, you are entitled to that opinion as a child of God.  This boils down to you need to talk to him, see what he wants long term, or is he just riding along til someone back home is available for him.

Catholic Girls If he is really conservative you are going to have issues with certain things.  You'll understand when it's the right time to take her hand or to hug her.  It says it somewhere in the quran or hadiths, cant remember where, but im sure someone will know and can show this to you.  And that also applied to the kids.  Melissa Sassi and her Arab husband serve with Crescent Project.  The problem is it should be a much bigger jump from islam to catholicism.  Muslim dating is based on initial mutual respect because it is done primarily for a further marriage.

Muslim Dating Site They feel that this is the best way to help their children become adults of strong faith.  It also teaches that the marriage relationship between a believing man and woman reflects Christ and the Church.  But that's not the reason I'm writing for.  On the other hand, many couples feel that focusing on beliefs held in common increases family unity.  I love this girl, I want to give her everything, and I want things to work.  Did I know Jesus before I became Catholic? But I believe God brought Mohammed and me together for a reason.

Can a Muslim man be in a relationship with a Catholic girl? My father is Baptist and my mother is Catholic.  And marriage is a difficult thing to succeed at because it calls for us coming out of our selfishness and giving of ourselves completely to another for their good, something we can only do by the grace of God.  Of course you're allowed to marry her.  Please forgive me for being blunt, but if you dont see a problem you need to go back and start from scratch about your faith.  If he accepts that you are Catholic and are good with your faith then sure.

My boyfriend is a muslim & I am catholic .....could this work do we have a future? Is this man really more important than Jesus? Just like living with your friends they influence what you wear or who you go out with.  Our network of muslim women in Catholic is the perfect place to make friends or find an muslim girlfriend in Catholic.  Yes, there's a great number of legal mobile dating applications for Islamic people.  They are concerned about objective truth, and do live with the tension.  Have you studied Islam to learn all its beliefs? Intercultural marriages are hard enough, add religion and you might as well declare yourself in war.

When Muslims and Christians Marry My parents won't mind her, they won't be exited about it though but it's my choice to make.  There is such a differece in the religions its unreal.  Does he really want you or is he playing with you.  We started having feelings one for another since then because our lives were almost the same, we just train a lot at our sport and go in competitions. I have no problem respecting his faith, vice versa but I feel very strongly that for us to be able to find people in similar situations that are more open to what we have to deal with would help us tremendously.  Having to deal with the challenges and curiousity of family and friends, let alone our own individual concerns is somewhat difficult.  I might not be that religious but I know everything about both of them it was always something I liked reading about.

What It's Like Dating A Muslim Man While Being A Christian Catholic, single, and looking for your other half? I am now pregnant, an early accidental pregnancy, and I feel that I am way too deep.  Although, I've known for quite sometime that should we have children, they would be Muslim; I did not ever considered that an issue - as it has become - my faith in Christ has suddenly become stronger and I fear that in marrying him, I made the wrong decision for my baby.  Muslim men are allowed, and even encouraged, to marry Christian women.  I am christian protestant-anglican and my boyfriend is muslim.  Simply put I know plenty of Muslim men who married non muslim women and they make it work.

[stopsubstanceabuse1-blog]

Cisco 600-455 Examcollection Questions

New Post has been published on https://www.substanceabuseprevention.net/cisco-600-455-examcollection-questions/

Cisco 600-455 Examcollection Questions

Cisco 600-455 Examcollection Questions

Testing Engine 600-455 Examcollection Real Exam Questions And Answers All I Cisco 600-455 Best Certifications Dumps ask ye to do is to stand for a moment within the church and turn your eyes to the lamp that swings like a beacon light before the altar and whisper the words of that honest man in the Bible that didnt dare to go beyant Cisco 600-455 it exam Pass Easily with 600-455 Examcollection Latest Dumps questions the holy door, O God, be merciful to me a sinner! Will ye do Cisco 600-455 Doc that?Wal, since Brain Dump thats all ye ask Ensure Pass 600-455 Brain Dumps Sample Test of me, Padre, said Captain Jeb, reflectively, I cant say no.

You neednt run off.

Many Cisco 600-455 Demo a newcomer felt his heart warm to his strange surroundings 600-455 Certification Exams Cisco 600-455 Useful when he found the name of Cisco 600-455 Dumps Pro father or grandfather cut into the rough bark, where men who had made later marks on historys page had Ensure Pass 600-455 Certification Exam Study Materials left youthful sign manual.

They are not to be Cisco 600-455 Latest Dumps Update killing and drowning Cisco 600-455 kevin wallace themselves against my will and word.

And you mean-you mean- Dans voice trembled, Cisco 600-455 Ebook Pdf Cisco 600-455 New Questions his eyes shone, -you mean I can come back?Come back, of Cisco 600-455 Exam Dump course, when school opens.

Stay by him, Freddy, Cisco 600-455 Qs&As so hell know there is something Cisco 600-455 24 hours Latest Version Cisco Questions Cisco 600-455 Examcollection Questions Latest Version Cisco 600-455 Examcollection Dump 600-455 Examcollection First Time Update. Pdf here.

* * * * *At Last Island all hope seemed gone. Practice Questions

My, it would Cisco 600-455 vce make you laugh, Father, to hear poor old Cisco 600-455 dumps Aunt Winnies pipe dreams about a tough chap like me!What does she dream, Dan? asked the Cisco 600-455 it exam guru old priest softly.

0 exam There was a deep earthen dish brimming with chowder, Exam Dumps Collection 600-455 Cert Online Sale a Cisco 600-455 Online Training wonderful Cisco Unified Contact Center Enterprise Specialist 600-455 Examcollection concoction that Latest Version Of Exams 600-455 Vce And PDF For Sale only old salts like Neb can Ensure Pass Designing Cisco Unified Contact Center Enterprise Study Value Pack 600-455 Examcollection || make.

And-and- Dan took Cisco 600-455 Examcollection 600-455 exam online the silken guard from his Cisco 600-455 Certification Practice Exam by MeasureUp neck I dumps on daily basis to keep the questions and answers up to date want you to give them back this gold watch, and Cisco 600-455 it exam vce tell them so.

Breakfast was soon dispatched, and four sunburned youngsters Exam Collection 600-455 Real Exam Questions And Answers Certification were ready for their trip to town.

You see Miss Pollys tone became confidential Cisco 600-455 Official Certification Guide First Edition , Cisco 600-455 Easily Pass Exam it was Cisco 600-455 PDF Archive last summer, when I had the whooping cough.

But, though it had died Cisco 600-455 Customers Testimonials to the busy world of commerce and trade, the quaint Cisco 600-455 Testing Engine old island town had Cisco 600-455 Exam Labs Todd Lammle Books kept a charm all Cisco 600-455 24 hours Pdf it exam simulator its own, that drew summer guests from far Exam Topics and near.

Babies bonnets! laughed Dan, who, with Freddy close behind him, had pushed curiously but cautiously into the low, dark room, from which opened another and another, crowded with strangely assorted merchandise. Latest Version Cisco Dump Cisco 600-455 Examcollection Questions Latest Version Cisco 600-455 Examcollection Testing 600-455 Examcollection Testing.

She pushed her way upstairs to mamma, and talked awfully,said she Questions 600-455 Examcollection Latest Version Cisco 600-455 Examcollection Testing Latest Version Cisco 600-455 Examcollection Testing 600-455 Examcollection Dump. Cisco 600-455 Most Reliable was a poor honest woman, if she did Dumps Shop 600-455 New Questions Exam Pdf sell apples on the Practice Lab corner; and she was raising her grandchild Daily Dumps Cisco 600-455 Examcollection Cisco Unified Contact Center Enterprise Specialist Pass Score For Exam honest; and she asked Cisco 600-455 it exam 10 how her Cisco 600-455 it passexamprep.com exam syllabus Meg came Online Store by that ring, and where she got it.

Oh, much better! assented Polly.

And when we have Cisco 600-455 Practice Test Pdf the chairs and tables and cushions and 600-455 Examcollection || curtains-who is going to pick out Cisco 600-455 exam the cushions and curtains, dad?Oh, I suppose all the questions that you will face in the exam center we can have them Cisco 600-455 A Complete Guide sent up from the store! answered dad, anticipating such Cisco 600-455 VCE to PDF matters 600-455 Examcollection || by pushing up a big packing box to the fire, Cisco 600-455 it exam center to serve as a seat for their smiling guest.

And its only what I might look for, ye graceless young reprobate! God knows it was Cisco 600-455 To Pass Easily with 600-455 Dumps Questions Practice Note help you pass the exams sore against Dumps Forum 600-455 Real Exam Questions And Answers Cert Guide my will that I brought ye with me, Dan Dolan; Guide Torrent for I knew yed be a sore trial first to last.

Cisco 600-455 Best Certifications Dumps And Cisco 600-455 Doc Exam Dumps Collection 600-455 Answers Ebook Pdf when he Cisco 600-455 vce free download lectured Todd Lammle Books us about being gentlemen, I told practice test and study guide PDF contains real exam questions and answers Cisco 600-455 dumps 2018 free download him I didnt aim at Cisco 600-455 High Pass Rate anything like that.

So Cisco Study Guide Pdf 600-455 practice test and study guide PDF contains real exam questions and answers she came in, and we played all the morning; and she came the next day and the next for Cisco 600-455 ensure you pass exam successfully weeks and weeks.

The Cisco 600-455 Q&A Online Sale beans and peas Cisco 600-455 Cisco 600-455 Examcollection it exam revision and corn,all things that had lifted their green growth too proudly, were crushed to Dumps Pdf the earth.

You can always say an act of contrition, you know, and-and- Freddys Latest Version 600-455 Examcollection Questions Cisco 600-455 Examcollection Dump Latest Version Cisco 600-455 Examcollection First Time Update 600-455 Examcollection First Time Update. voice faltered, for the role of spiritual adviser was a new one; but he had not gone through the Cisco 600-455 Actual Test big Catechism last year without learning a Cisco 600-455 Exam Soft young Catholic Christians obligations.

Sure I never preached in my life, and never will.

Thats Cisco 600-455 Exam Labs all Id come to you Cisco 600-455 Practice Exam Questions for,to 100% Success Rate 600-455 Certification Material Big Sale take care of Aunt Winnie.

I aint.

Even cutting names Cisco 600-455 Demos was forbidden.

But its a lonely time laddies poor father will be Cisco 600-455 it exam simulator having, after all Online his wild wanderings; and it will be hard for Cisco 600-455 Examcollection Online Store him Cisco 600-455 ebook to keep house Great Dumps 600-455 Braindumps Ebook Pdf Cisco 600-455 it exam results 2018 and home.

Because-because, faltered Aunt Winnie, though Cisco 600-455 download its fibs First Time Update Testing Cisco Cisco 600-455 Examcollection Questions Latest Version Cisco 600-455 Examcollection First Time Update 600-455 Examcollection First Time Update. Ive been telling about yer grandeur and greatness-God forgive me that same!-the Cisco 600-455 Where do I get trusted old busybodies around will be wondering and prating about why ye lave me here, Dan,because I might Big Sale be a shame to Cisco 600-455 Exam PDF And Exam VCE Simulator ye before all the fine New Pass Exam << Latest Version Testing 600-455 Examcollection Cisco 600-455 Examcollection First Time Update Latest Version Cisco 600-455 Examcollection Questions 600-455 Examcollection Questions. gentlemens dumps on daily basis to keep the questions and answers up to date sons that have taken ye up,because Aunt Wins voice broke entirely a poor old woman Cisco 600-455 Exams Prep like me will only hurt and hinder ye, DanHurt and hinder me! echoed Dan, who, with all his cleverness, could not understand Big Sale the depths and heights of good old Aunt Winnies love.

Dont you know the tree is unsafe?Yes, Father, answered Dan But-but I had to see Freddy Cisco 600-455 exam questions and answers pdf again, and they wouldnt let me come up.

What would you pay me? asked Dan, as the big Certification Dumps loin of beef above joggled against his shoulder.

He isnt killed, replied Dan, who had been taking close observations.

The stranger had risen now, and stood, a tall shadow dimly outlined above Dan I-I-perhaps Ill drop in upon you.

Mr Exam Dumps Reddit 600-455 Dumps PDF Practice Test Wirt? Dans vague memory leaped into vivid light: Mr John Cisco 600-455 Computer Exam Wirts big, tawny dog indeed, who Cisco 600-455 How to Study for the perhaps, with some dim dog-sense, remembered Freddy.

She wanted me to see her Dumps Pdf new place, and to tell her what was to Cisco 600-455 it exam 10 be done with Cisco 600-455 Test Prep my bit of things.

And-and what did he say?Nothing, answered Dan, grimly.

I dont care who did it! said big-hearted Jim, roused into spirit and speech.

Ive been here forty years, and my father was here before me,buying and selling whatever comes to us.

Them big Cisco 600-455 it exam syllabus fellows give us the go by now, though time was Cisco 600-455 Best Certifications Dumps when they used to come from Cisco 600-455 Certification News: far and near; all kinds-Spanish, Portugee, East Indian.

Cisco 642-996 Certification Gosh, its a pity dogs like that cant talk!Oh, it is,it is! murmured Freddy, putting his arm around Rex, who, his duty done, was seated on his Practice Questions hind legs, gravely surveying his master.

You need a nurse? asked Miss Stella.

The Lords will be done, but I never thought to be sailing the seas in a cockleshell like this, added the good man, as the boat rocked under his sturdy weight when he sank heavily into his place.

Date, well as I can Cisco 600-455 Exam 100% Pass Rate make out, its The Latest 600-455 Computer Exam Exams Dumps 1850.

God knows what is best for His little lamb.

Cisco 600-455 syllabus I am going to sit under this nice old tree and talk to Miss Winnies boy.

It is Gods mercy that you did not break your neck.

Cisco 600-455 Examcollection They went out often now; for, Cisco 600-455 Practice under the old sailors guidance, Dan was becoming an expert fisherman.

The tumble didnt hurt me much.

The Cisco 600-455 Braindumps Lord between us and harm! Cisco 600-455 Practice Test Question Answers Dumps ejaculated Brother Bart, in pious horror.

Why will it be the last time?I mean I may never have a chance Cisco 600-455 it exam question paper at Cisco 600-455 it exam time table such a jolly holiday again, Cisco 600-455 Help To Pass answered Dan, suddenly remembering Exam Labs Ebook Pdf his Cisco 600-455 Best Dumps Vendor promise to Father Mack.

Her dreams! echoed Father Mack, a little puzzled.

Latest Dumps Update 600-455 Examcollection Brain Dump.

New Update Posts

ISC CISSP Dumps

Cisco 700-037 Dumps Store

300-206 Questions And Answers

Microsoft 70-488 Dumps Shop