#and when he thought he was pffered the most perfect opportunity for just that Crowley in his mind turned him away

[edgyandoverzealous]

Just thinking about Aziriphale's pov because I firmly believe that the both of them are victims of misunderstanding.

He wanted Crowley to come back so their sides love didn't have to be at odds anymore.

He wanted Crowley to see the stars again. To create galaxies like he'd once loved to do. Give him all the galaxies he could ever want and never cancel a single one so Crowley can watch it grow.

He didn't want them to be scared of being found out or fight to keep what they had. He just wanted to protect them. What better way than being in charge. He was doing this for them.

And he thought Crowley did too, after all he kept his wings the reminders that he was once an Angel, a servant to God and her plan so surely he still loves her. Surely he wants to come home. To live happily together on the side of good because Aziraphale has been conditioned to believe that heaven is good and hell is bad so surely Crowley, his Crowley sweet and good, doesn't want to be on the bad side because Crowley is good. He's a demon, he fell yes, but he has a good heart and a brilliant mind and those are good traits, heavenly traits.

But Crowley didn't see it like that, Crowley saw it as him needing to change. But it wasn't about Crowley being "good enough" for heaven. That because he's a demon and he fell asleep he is he isn't good enough, he's everything Aziraphale hates.

It was about Heaven being good enough for Crowley. That Aziriphale would make it good enough for Crowley.

So Crowley can come 'home'. Not realizing that home is wherever they can be free together. Home is a book shop that never sells books and the best places with food to eat that Crowley suggested.

Not understanding that Crowley doesn't want Heaven or Hell Crowley just wants them to be well them. Whatever that may mean. That he loves him and wants him to desperately stay the way that they always have been so he kisses Aziraphale as a plea. Stay with me, don't leave me.

But all Aziraphale hears is rejection. That heaven will never be good enough for Crowley to return to, that he will never be enough for Crowley to return to. That Crowley didn't want Aziraphale to fall but he doesn't want to return to him, to heaven either, so he wants them to be on opposite sides. And hurt, devastated, Aziraphale gets angry. How dare he? How dare he waste 6000 years pretending to be his friend, to now pretend he loved him all along but reject his offer for them to be together without judgement or remorse on either end? How dare he ask me to abandon everything I've ever known for the uncertainty of a forever on the run or in hiding? How dare he let this break them apart? He's in too deep now and he doesn't believe he can leave.

Doesn't want to accept what he's known all along that the systems are broken and horrible. That the beauty of it all is supposed to be that you can be whatever you want to do whatever you want to. That they could've been like Gabriel and Beelzebub. Be ineffable.

Instead he saw it as a goodbye. That nothing can last forever no matter how much he wants them too because they'll always be on opposite sides, different paths.