#and yes i’m stressed abt school again and Will inevitably be sad in just a minute but. such is life ig idk

[ilostyou]

anyway to focus on the positives rn the event i had was actually pleasantly good and i felt pretty and i got a lot of unexpected congrats on getting into that one program and <3 it was a pretty good distraction tbh

[love-you-cannibal-king]

Ive been dead forever so have HaZbin madness

Alastor, going over Husker's resume: Okay, so right here, it states that you’re creative.  Husker: Yes Alastor: Okay... may I know what you create? Husker: Problems - Alastor: You kill people for money?! Husker: I can explain! Alastor: And all this time I’ve been doing it for free like a fool! -  Alastor: I'm a reverse necromancer. Husker: Isn't that just killing people?  Alastor: Ah, technicality  -  Alastor: Okay. I get it. You've had a really hard time lately, you're stressed out, seven people died- Husker: Twelve, actually. Alastor: Not the point. Look, they're dead now and really whose fault is that? Husker: Yours! Alastor: That's right: no one's- hey!  - Alastor: Change is inedible. Husker: Don't you mean inevitable? Alastor, spitting out coins: No, I did not. Husker: IS THAT MY 100 DOLLARS IN CHANGE I WON AT THE CASINO LAST NIGHT?? Alastor trying to frantically eat them back up: no-- -  Alastor: Husker, what do IDK, LY, and TTYL mean? Husker: I don’t know, love you, talk to you later Alastor: Ok, I love you too, I’ll just ask Angel. -  Husker: How's the sexiest person here~?  Alastor: I don't know, how are they~? Husker, flustered: I- Angel, from across the room: I'm doing great, thanks! -  Angel: tell Alastor abt the birds and the bees  Husker: their all dying at a rate of witch we are stuggling to control Alastor: oh thats wonderful! :)))) -  Husker: What's a word thats a mix between 'sad' and 'mad'? Alastor: Disgruntled, miserable, desolated- Angel: Smad. -  Alastor: If you had to choose between Husker and all the money I have in my wallet, which would you choose? Angel: That depends, how much money are we taking about?  Husker: Thats fair Alastor: 63 cents. Angel: I'll take the money. Husker: HEY- -  Alastor: I told Husker their ears flush when they lie. Angel: Why? Alastor: Watch this- Husker, my dear! Do you love us? Husker, flattening his ears under his hat: No. Angel: Pfft.. daw! - Alastor: Sometimes I drink milk straight out of the container.  Husker: The cow??? A lastor: What? Angel: Husker, W H Y? -  Alastor, in a high voice, holding barbie: hey ken! I was thinking about going back to school and starting a career! Husker, in a deep voice, holding ken: nonsense, barbie. you’re staying home and having my kids Angel: what the fuck are you guys doing? Alastor: playing systemic oppression! Its quite a joy! -  Alastor: You have to apologize to Husker  Angel: Fine. Angel: 'Unfuck you' or whateva -  Husker: Alastor and I don’t use pet names. Angel: I see. Hey, what do bees make?  Husker: Honey? Alastor: Yes, dear? Husker: wait-  Angel: Don't ever lie to my face again. - Angel: Why are you on the floor? Husker: I'm depressed. Husker: Also I was stabbed, can you get Al, please?

[dastardlydandelion]

i’ve seen quite a bit of meta floating around abt sam’s situation vs tory’s and how that enhances their rivalry but i’ve seen v little abt how how fighting itself means different things to them and how i personally think that rly shows itself in the school brawl so i’m going to babble on abt that for a min.

so to recap what most ppl already pinned down: tory and sam’s beef isn’t just about miguel. far from. tbvh i’d ever argue it’s mostly *not* about miguel but he factors into the situation so strongly bc miguel is the *one* thing tory had that (at the time) sam didn’t. it isn’t just abt him, it’s abt what he represents. it’s abt sam seemingly (re)staking her claim to one of the only good things in tory’s life. from tory’s perspective she has very little in contrast to sam. sam lives in wealthy encino, has her own car, a membership at a country club, and participates in karate bc she’s a legacy child and to do so is at her leisure. her dad has his own personal dojo she can practice in whenever she wants and oh yeah, her lessons are free bc her dad is her sensei. sam who could easily afford karate lessons doesn’t even have to, her dad actually jumps at the chance to give them to her.

tory has to work for everything that’s hers and then some, supporting a mother with frail health and taking care of her bby brother. tory’s life is more precarious and vulnerable than sam’s bc of her financial and living situation, and frankly, she needs self-defense skills more than sam does. remember when she’s at the store with aisha and describes to her how some perv tried to grab her, a move she then blocked? how she stabbed him in the face with her duster/bracelet??

i feel like the gravity of that is lost on most ppl bc in context, tory’s almost bragging abt it and showing off a lil bit. and why wouldn’t she?? she thinks aisha is a badass, she saw her breaking boards blindfolded!!! she thinks aisha is cool and she wants aisha to think she’s cool too, so she’s telling her smth abt herself that she correctly feels aisha would admire. but context aside, it’s v scary and sad that tory was in a situation where she had to do that.

tory had kickboxing training even before she joined cobra kai. going off some of her dialogue to miguel, abt how some ppl in this world have to fight for everything they have, i’m going to assume her safety applies here. given that her financial situation is so precarious, i don’t think tory would’ve taken kickboxing classes unless she felt like she had to. like— don’t get me wrong, tory clearly enjoys fighting. it’s prolly a good way to relieve all the stress she’s under, having head of household responsibilities at 16/17. but we see in s3 when her mom can’t rly work anymore and therefore she has to work even more herself, tory leaves the dojo specifically bc she can’t afford lessons. so that leads me to believe that even if tory enjoys fighting, she wouldn’t spend money on it unless doing so was of necessity to her.

tory does not live in a world of stability. her mother’s health is precarious and unstable. her financial situation is precarious and unstable. even working two jobs she didn’t have enough to cover rent. it was so, so heartbreaking but u could see it in her eyes that she was considering the landlord’s offer. she was considering sleeping with some gross ass adult man who berated and belittled her just to have the stability of a home. imho she would’ve done it if kreese didn’t handle the situation (and he definitely didn’t do so for selfless reasons, but that’s another matter entirely so i’m not gonna go into that).

sam, on the other hand, doesn’t just have stability, she has luxury. again, the big house, her own car, wealthy, supportive, healthy parents who have the time and the means to be there for her and provide her with whatever she wants, let alone needs. fighting is v different for sam. from sam’s perspective, karate is meditation. karate is a way to find balance, to center yourself and spiritually connect with your body. karate is recreation and sport, tournaments where rules ensure everyone’s safety at the end of the day and fighting with honor scores u points while fighting with dishonor gets u disqualified. where fighting with honor is “fair” and fighting without honor is “dirty.” 

now, i know sam *theoretically* understands karate from the self-defense perspective too. bc she’s heard daniel’s stories. bc she used it against kyler when he made her uncomfortable. bc she and robby got into it at the mall to come to demetri’s defense, thereby actively protecting another person. but sam does not have daniel’s lived experiences of struggling with poverty or being put into harm’s way as gravely as daniel was in his youth (at least not until the school brawl, i’m getting there). sam never had to stab a pervert in the face bc he predated upon her and grabbed her. sam did face bullying, yes, but as hurtful as being slut-shamed on the internet is, her safety was not threatened in that situation the way tory’s safety has been threatened, nor the way her father’s safety was threatened in his youth.

i definitely think the context of their situations influences how each thinks of fighting. tory intimately understands fighting for survival in a way sam does not, in a way sam simply cannot relate to. tory doesn’t adhere to the rules the way sam does bc rules have never done shit for her. actually, the rules themselves keep her down, her mother got fired from her job at the restaurant precisely bc she was bringing home leftovers to feed her hungry children. tory has no reason to distinguish between dishonorable fighting and honorable fighting bc at the end of the day, fighting is a necessity for tory in a way that it is not a necessity for sam. tory doesn’t fight to win points or to meditate, or to spiritually connect with her body. tory fights for self-preservation.

from sam’s perspective, tory fights “dirty.” from tory’s perspective, sam lives in a fantasy world where there’s some kind of manufactured distinction between fighting “fair” and “dirty” only for those who have the security and luxury to made that very distinction. to tory, fighting is fighting and that’s that. to sam, fighting is a discipline, an art, a tradition, and is meant to be practiced with a level of etiquette shown to your opponent. bc that’s what tory is to sam, an opponent. but sam isn’t an opponent to tory— she’s an enemy. these are not the same things.

i think the way tory and sam understand fighting really rears its head in the school brawl. tory’s had it with sam, she’s had beef with her since the moment sam accused her of stealing and it reaches its tipping point during the party bc first, sam beats her in the drinking competition, embarrassing her in front of everyone, and then she goes and kisses miguel. who isn’t just tory’s bf, but one of the only good things in her life at that moment.

on top of that, like, okay, tory is v aware miguel used to date sam. so when she’s dating miguel herself, i think she does take a kind of satisfaction in that, in knowing she’s “taken” miguel from the pretty, privileged princess who has everything else, pretty privileged princess who once accused her of stealing and would then go on to mock and ridicule her. i think it increases the sting for tory when sam follows up beating her in the contest with kissing miguel not just bc she’s hurt, but bc it’s an added slap in the face that sam “reclaimed” this one good thing tory thought she’d managed to “take” from her.

come the school brawl and sam is aware tory’s angry. tory announces on the damn loud speaker she’s coming for her, prolly to embarrass her in front of everyone the way sam embarrassed her the night before. fight ensues and they’re matching each other p well, i’d say tory mostly retains the upper hand bc she had the element of offense on her side while sam’s blows were primarily defensive…it’s slightly in tory’s favor but rly could go either way until the point where tory breaks out the spiked knuckle duster/bracelet.

if u look at sam’s face after tory puts it on, like…she’s shocked. she’s frightened. she was not anticipating that at all. tory on the other hand, has a mocking expression and from her tone, i kind of think she’s reveling in sam’s reaction. bc tory knows full well sam has never had to fight the way she has. sam’s never actually had her safety compromised so it’s like. utterly incomprehensible to her the moment it happens. 

tory is the first person who has ever actually threatened sam’s safety and tory knows that, and she relishes it. from tory’s perspective, sam is just as foolish as she is pampered, and she gets to be the one to snatch sam’s sense of security away from her the moment she introduces a weapon to the situation and shows sam; ‘no, this isn’t just a karate match. i actually want to hurt you, and i am going to use whatever i have to do that.’

and…i think she was just trying to hurt sam, personally. ik a lot of the ck fandom thinks tory wanted to kill sam. and i actually think sam herself thinks tory wanted to kill her bc of the visceral reaction she has to tory afterwards. sam has ptsd after the school brawl and it’s not just bc of tory, it’s clearly also bc of what happened to miguel. what robby did to miguel out of anger, anger not created by— but definitely inflamed by —the fact miguel and sam shared a smooch. but sam also has nightmares of tory trying to kill her and it’s tory’s voice that makes her freeze up during the fight at the laser tag place.

i think sam also inevitably associates tory with what happened to miguel, bc while robby, not tory kicked him over the railing, it was tory who started the brawl. and miguel went upstairs specifically bc he was trying to get tory off of sam. he followed them up there bc he was tryna calm tory down. so i think that’s also why sam is so shook by tory after, that inevitable association with miguel’s fall/coma. but i defo think bc tory was the first person who ever actually threatened sam’s safety for real, sam felt like tory was going to kill her. and to be fair, when tory gets sam on the floor and yanks her hair back, it appears that she’s doing so specifically to expose her face/throat area as she pulls her opposite arm back to stab.

sooo with that i 100% understand why so much of the ck fandom and sam herself would think tory was tryna kill her, but i personally don’t think that. i think she was trying to scar her face. i think tory might have specifically been aiming for the mouth bc she wanted to punish sam for the kiss. stabbing/slicing her mouth would be targeting a place on sam specifically associated with the incident that pushed tory’s anger over the edge.

i also think it’s entirely probable tory was just unleashing all of her built up stress on sam during that fight. tory was more aggressive not just bc she’s the one more pissed off but bc her nerves are fucking fried. she throws all of her negative emotions in the brawl and she has infinitely more of those than sam, created by her precarious and fraught living situation wherein she’s had to endure much more hardship than sam and she’s constantly on her guard, fully aware of how fragile any semblance of stability she manages to carve out for herself/her family is. while sam, on the other hand, gets to live in what must appear to tory as this soft, fuzzy fantasy world where mom and dad take care of all the important stuff and sam doesn’t have to worry abt a thing.

i maintain that i don’t believe tory was tryna kill sam, but i do believe she rly wanted to hurt her. and she did…sam is hospitalized after the fight. tory goes back to cobra kai to train for the next one. bc that’s what tory’s life is, one fight after the next. she doesn’t have the luxury of treating karate as a means for meditation or recreation like sam does. and i truly think that impacts that dynamic more than often given credit for.

[couch-house]

Wow people like that anon are why we need to be more educated about manipulation via self-destruction. We all need to understand and know that if we constantly, repeatedly "make" someone feel bad enough to consider harmful actions just through TINY contradictions it might just not be us and we don't have to put up with all the stress, discomfort, depression, etc. that comes from it. And sometimes it's really obvious when it's manipulation, it's not NEVER an option.

exactly bro. i’m gonna do something real fun and talk about my abuser, who did this for years! under the cut

so im just gonna come right out and say it so i dont gotta give him an epithet every time, but his name was dibby/dib. he goes by a different name now i think but from what ive heard it seems like ppl r familiar with him by that name as well. w/e for his privacy i guess ill just leave his current name out of it. anyway i knew and was friends with/dated dib for about 7 years before we cut each other out.

ANYWAY dib had/has legitimate mental health problems, yes, but he also chose to use those problems as excuses for his manipulative and abusive behavior. dib had bipolar and would experience dramatic mood swings. unfortunate but normal and okay! if you experience mood swings and suddenly feel overwhelmed by sadness or anger, you probably know that, if you recognize this as a disorder, you should let the people around you know, tell them how you’re feeling, and do what you can to manage the situation.  dib would instead say “oh no i feel a mood swing coming. :( quick, distract me!” which, again is a clumsy but fair way to handle that, EXCEPT when it inevitably failed to cheer him up, he would blame us for failing, call us bad friends, insist we didn’t care about him, and isolate to only talking with his favorite person (for a while that was me). 

when dib got upset he would blow up, block me for days or weeks, and then later when he calmed down and felt lonely he’d add me back with some half-apology and assume everything was fine again. here’s a list i kept of things that upset him and had this result! it was called “things not to do”

tell dib when [his gf] is streaming

fail to tell dib when [his gf] is streaming

ask dib if it’s okay to do things

talk to him when he’s feeling antisocial

offer critique when it isn’t asked for

ask dib not to do something

talk to him in the tags (when not friends)

spam things he doesn’t like/isn’t involved in ((the relevant examples are bug blogs, bunnies, and the pbs kids show arthur. not because they trigger him, just because he doesn’t like them))

talk about/mention people that are my friends that he doesn’t like

offer solutions when he just needs confirmation

make it about you

yeah. keep in mind every one of those bullet points corresponds to at least one time he either faked his own death or blew up and blocked me for a week.

the bigger problem though was his suicide ideation. dib had a pretty shit life and pretty shit mental health and unfortunately was legitimately depressed and suicidal. he needed help but, living in america, really couldnt afford it most of the time. this is okay. if you or someone you know is unable to get medical health for depression or suicide ideation you know how hard it is to live with. sometimes there’s not a lot you can do and that person will Just Be Depressed an just Want To Die and theres not a lot you can do to help, even if you try your best. that of course, is not the problem with dib. 

the problem was repeatedly, starting i think when i criticized him for pushing everyone away by insisting no one cares about him and not putting any effort towards others, would make some vague allusion to feeling suicidal and abruptly log off and stop answering messages. this can be an okay way to deal with yourself if you’re upset BUT. THE NEXT DAY, after i frantically thought he was going to Attempt and repeatedly messaged him to try to deter him, check on him, ask if he was okay (he really just went to sleep, which again is fine), he decided to PRETEND TO BE DEAD.  he told his gf and maybe one other person he was alive but threatened them to stay quiet and pretend he was dead or he WOULD commit. so his gf at the time had to play along and all of us then-kids were freaking out that our friend had died, only for him to decide later that he’d had his fun and he could now announce “no i just logged off for a little bit :)”

he did this. many times. make some allusion to wanting to attempt then abruptly stop answering messages, knowing what people would assume. (this was one of the pieces of testimony i did not include verbatim in that rk post: i was told rk would do very similar things; part of why i thought the post was necessary. ive lived through the other side of that and i dont want ANYONE else to). i think two separate times that he did this, i was sent home from school early because i was crying so hard (my best friend let me think i was responsible for his death. he did this on purpose. he did this repeatedly. thats fucked up)

one time he posted a supposedly queued suicide note post! and all my friends were terrified he’d died! so i remember someone anonymously messaged kylee henke asking for advice, and i (who at the time he was mad at and had already blocked) got fed up with it (again because he’d done this so many times and i knew by now that there was no point in getting upset, he was just doing it for sympathy or attention or w/e) and messaged his mom on facebook asking her to check on him. he was fine, just like. crying in his room. also sidenote he got BIG MAD that someone told his mom and was posting when he was found out liek WHO TOLD >:( n i was like :)). bc bro if ur really abt to attempt i have an Obligation to get someone irl to check on you and protect you. but obviously you werent since this was like the 20th fucking time youve done this 🙃

he was a huge pizza shit for other reasons too but the main relevant one was that he would use his mental illness as an excuse for his deplorable behavior and blame others for things literally no one can reasonably do anythign about and then constantly and i DO MEAN CONSTANTLY use his own life and suicide ideation as a trump card.

anyway if you know someone who repeatedly threatens suicide or pretends to commit suicide by purposefully alluding to it before ghosting you, or posting a suicide note meant to blame others, you need to get out of there right now. that is not okay and you should not be dealing with that. ive taken years to get used to the idea that if i criticize my friends, they won’t kill themselves