#and yet antonia is also a character that was inspired by and/or based on a real person for the show

[the-ninja-legacy-whip]

Dude I forgot Antonia was a canon character and went insane looking for her on your OC page RIP 😭

BAHAHA OMG THAT MEANS SHE'S MINE NOW!!!!! /j

But this is what happens when you invest more life into side characters than canon will ever have the chance to -_-)/

[venigni]

I just want to talk about the tragedy of Venigni for a sec. (Spoilers)

So, I regard this sidequest as one of the very few in the game that has a happy-ish ending. Everything about the game is bitter, and the best we get--even in the best ending of the game--is bittersweet. Venigni's questline is no different.

On first sight, the quest has a mostly satisfying conclusion: You return Venigni's childhood toy to him, (potentially) kill Arlecchino, and give him closure on his parents' murders.

But Venigni is still a deeply tragic character.

Based on documents we find throughout the game, we know the Venigni Company itself is taking full responsibility for the Frenzy.

We also know that Venigni basically lost all hope after the Frenzy began, and with how closely he ties himself to his work--literally naming all of his inventions and ventures after himself--he takes this responsibility on his very own shoulders, as well.

A lot of the characters we interact with throughout the game have already had their tragedies inflicted upon them. Usually we're just the bearer of bad news. Venigni is unique in this regard because once you learn of his parents' murders, you are led to believe that was his tragedy. It is not.

Venigni's true tragedy is ongoing, and it is that he is the weight bearer of a series of traumatic and terrible events. The game's events are no exception, because not only does Venigni hold himself accountable for the death of his parents...

...and the puppets who started the puppet frenzy...

...if you decide to tell him the truth about Romeo's message, he also bears the weight of instilling the Grand Covenant within every single puppet; Geppetto's personal fail safe that ensures his complete control over them that gave him the ability to initiate the Frenzy. This is why, yet again, lying in this game serves to ease others' pain, while telling the truth is often seen as the harsher, less-human option. Because the entire reason Venigni came up with the Grand Covenant in the first place was to stop puppets from murdering humans. To stop what happened to him from ever happening again.

And as a result, he unknowingly assisted Geppetto, whom he trusted more than anyone in not only manufacturing all of the puppets, but also...

...in laying all the necessary groundwork for Krat-wide genocide.

Yet another thing he must carry on his shoulders. The pain he must feel is unbearable and still he does his best to put on a smile every single day and try to make others laugh; try to bring joy and hope into the world with his inventions, and be helpful in any way he can to those better suited to fighting on the front lines, like the stalkers and P.

Oh, and on top of that all, he's witnessed almost all of his friends and family die--not just his parents, but Antonia, too, as he particularly mentions she was like family to him growing up--and got betrayed by Geppetto, who played him like a fiddle seemingly their entire friendship.

Venigni, too, is a deeply tragic character, just as every single character is in Lies of P. Even if P helped him in finding hope again, even after the dust settles, he will always have all this contend with. For this very reason that he is such a sad character, he is also a very inspiring one. He persevered. Despite it all, he keeps moving forward.

I know Venigni can come off as a silly character. But he's one of my favorites in all of video games. Never give up! Keep your chin up! Wake up to live another day! Stay smiling! If Venigni does it, you can, too!!!

[desertdollranch]

Full collection of Sariah Solomon, an American Girl. Santa Clara, California, 1984.

Sariah’s story begins with big changes in her life. Her parents have just gotten divorced, and she isn’t adjusting well to her father’s sudden absence. Her older sister Alisha is acting like she’s too cool to hang out with Sariah any more. When her mother begins dating a woman, they all move into her wealthy new stepmother Elaine’s home in the Silicon Valley, where Elaine works as a software developer at a computer company. Sariah is sent to an all-girl private school, and she worries about other students judging her for being mixed race and having two mothers. But she meets and befriends several other girls who are just like her in these ways, and their pride in that is encouraging to Sariah. Her heart softens even more toward Elaine when they travel together to see the 1984 Olympic Games in Los Angeles, where she points out how many new women’s sports have been added to the games. This inspires Sariah to pursue her interests in gymnastics and soccer, with hopes of someday being an Olympic athlete herself. Elaine also brings home a newly released Macintosh 128K, one of the very first personal computers on the market, and starts teaching Sariah how to use it. But with all these changes, Sariah wonders if she’s betraying her father and moving on without him. She’s always busy on the weekends and vacation days she’s supposed to spend at his house, and she wonders if her new life is worth the sacrifice of her relationship with her dad. But he proves to her in his own way that love is all that’s needed to make a family. 

Sariah’s collection includes full outfits as well as some mix-and-match pieces. There is some overlap with my other historical OC Antonia’s 1978 collection, and they can share several shirts. Striped shirts were very trendy for children’s clothing from the late 70′s to the mid 80′s. Also popular were corduroy pants, high-waisted jeans, polo shirts, oversized button-downs, muscle shirts, raglan sleeve athletic shirts, and branded clothing. Sariah’s clothes feature some of her favorite characters--Rainbow Brite, My Little Pony, and Fraggle Rock. I got inspiration for her wardrobe from several sources, the initial one being Courtney Moore’s collection. But after trying out a few outfits based on Courtney’s clothes, I realized that Sariah’s clothes realistically should more closely align with the trends of the first half of the decade, rather than the second half when clothes became much more brightly colored and influenced by pop music. Sariah’s nightgown, purple bubble skirt, and denim jacket are the pieces inspired by Courtney that I did keep, though. Her pink and white hi-tops are also Courtney’s. I also got inspiration by looking at sewing patterns and watching 80′s children’s movies and TV shows like Kids Incorporated, which showed the everyday clothing that children of that time were wearing. The only things here that I didn’t make are her shoes and her long-sleeved gray shirt with the blue quilted vest, which are American Girl of Today clothing items. I made her pink and green striped romper using a Lee & Pearl pattern. Everything else is just variations on basic shirt and pants patterns.

Sariah (pronounced sa-RYE-ah, rhymes with Mariah) is a Pleasant Company JLY #15, one of the original Girl of Today dolls. I found her a few years ago on Mercari. She has not been customized. Sariah spent a while as a modern character before I felt compelled to make her a historical, as a way to learn some more about some less well-known yet very influential events of that decade. I wanted Sariah’s story to cover the topics of changing roles of women in the workplace, the rising rate of divorce, the acceptance of LGBT people and families in the San Francisco area, the release of the first personal computer, and the increasing participation of female athletes in that year’s Olympics. I think Sariah’s collection is now complete, although I might someday make her a school uniform if I can actually decide on a design for it.

[weekend-whip]

Cole + Jesse, F

F. An absent look or touch (Mid S2!Legacyverse, also partially based on this art, and partially based on another prompt for Jesse to drag Cole out dancing...so, three inspirations for the price of one! Also very self-indulgent, run now)

(Send me a letter and a character and I’ll write a small fic!)

AO3 Version

. . .

“The Student Council did a really good job throwing this all together on such short notice,” Cole remarks, hands in the pockets of his dress pants. He and Jesse Marvell step into Ninjago City High’s giant gymnasium, which has currently been transformed into some semblance of one big party. 

Balloons are stuffed onto every table and into every corner of the room, streamers and ribbons crisscross all across the gym’s complex ceiling and walls, and the colored lights give the whole area an otherworldly glow. All the students are either huddled into their cliques, embracing their Inner Plant as they mimic wallflowers, or are actually doing what this event intended for: dancing.

Cole and Jesse continue to scope around, nodding their heads to the beat of the music that blasts out of the speakers. Cole waves over at the DJ, being an old friend from his music club days, while Jesse seeks out if any of their other friends are around. 

He spots Zane running around, trying to keep everything going smoothly and hammering down on any early rule breakers. He sees Antonia encouraging Harumi to dance, to which Harumi forcefully denies. He catches Lloyd following Kai around like a miserable duckling, trying to reign Kai in as Kai tries and fails consistently to convince a girl to slow dance with him. And he bears witness to Jay and Nya decked out to the nines, already lost in a world of each other as they flail around to the music, laughing and singing without a care. 

Jesse then slides his gaze over to Cole–who of course has finally discovered the snack table—and forcibly swallows around his dry throat. 

How had he gotten lucky enough to have Cole say yes to going with him? 

Jesse swallows again, very much looking respectfully as Cole makes his way to sample one of everything. His hair is pulled back in a slightly less messy bun than usual, with only a few stray strands framing his face. The black dress shirt he sports has his sleeves halfway rolled up—although it’s a miracle he hasn’t straight up flexed them off yet—while a bright orange tie sits pretty around his neck. It matches the gentle makeup around Cole’s eyes. 

...which Jesse actually did personally, at Cole’s insistence, with the trade off of Cole putting some highlights into Jesse’s hair. 

And while Jesse appreciates his hair having a bit of an extra pink punch to it, he now has to live with the torture of recalling just how close he had to get to Cole make sure that makeup was perfect. Leaning on his chest, all up in his face, close enough to see the faint freckles upon his cheeks, forced to look into marigold eyes as deep as the earth itself...

The memory pops into his mind every time he happens to glance in Cole’s direction now, or when he simply catches his eye, and he feels like he’s going to spontaneously combust every single time. 

...Jesse might not make it through the night in one piece. 

“Mmph, Jess, you’ve gotta try some of these!” Cole exclaims, gesturing to a huge platter of mini cheesecake bites. He shoves another into his mouth, blissfully unaware that Jesse’s been appreciating the scenery. “I think I’ve discovered the best thing since cake itself!”

“Ha, I know they’re good.” Jesse chuckles, grateful for the distraction from his thoughts. “My mom’s the one that did most of the catering. And I had to help her for like, eight hours.”

Cole gasps, immediately moving over to Jesse in a single stride. Jesse gulps, finding his hands swept up into Cole’s large, firmed, stronger ones. 

“You helped create these?!” Cole lifts Jesse’s hands, pressing small, delicate kisses to each of his knuckles. “May the Master bless these hands.”

“Tchhhh, stahp.”

Cole laughs and releases Jesse, sliding his hand back into his pocket. He pulls out a small pack of mints and offers one to Jesse before popping one himself. Jesse, again, is totally looking respectfully at the fact that Cole’s tie is gradually becoming undone due to his erratic movements, between scarfing down food and bouncing around as quick as he does...

But when Cole’s collarbone becomes visible, Jesse can’t take it anymore.

“H-Hold on, um, your tie is loose again...”

“Huh, what—?”

Jesse puts a hand on Cole’s shoulder to stop him from floundering off again, and sets to work on putting the tie back in place. His fingers move deftly, pulling the cloth through the motions...but his hands still tremble with a bit of trepidation. 

“Whaaaat?” Cole complains half-heartedly, yet not resisting. “Did you not tie it tight enough last time?”

“Apparently not tight enough to withstand your ability to immediately knock it loose.”

“You say that like I did it on purpose. What’s wrong, were you getting a little distracted—?”

Jesse pulls a bit tighter than necessary, cutting off the rest of Cole’s sentence, and completing the knot. 

“There, that should stay.”

Jesse smirks at his accomplishment...only to realize he has also succeeded in dragging Cole even closer to him. Cole’s been tugged down eye-level to Jesse now, and like magnets their gazes are drawn to one another. Jesse feels his ears turn pink; Cole just blinks before letting an easy, almost smug, smile slide onto his face.

“Well, hi.”

Jesse coughs out a laugh, releasing Cole’s tie. Cole doesn’t move from the position, however. 

“Ahahaha, um, I’m sorry–”

“What are you apologizing for? You are my date, after all.” Cole grins, making his dimples prominent. “I think that entitles me to a little bit of gazing adoringly into your eyes. Or just gazing at you in general.”

“Guuuuuuh—” Jesse’s brain short-circuits, unable to load a proper response in a timely manner. “Wh-Wh-Wh-Why would you want to do that, ahaha...?”

Jesse regrets the question as soon as Cole leans even further into his bubble. With a gentle, featherlight touch, he brings his hand to Jesse’s face, brushing a thumb absently along his soft cheek. Jesse swallows down a shudder at the contact. 

“Well for starters, you’re a giant sweetheart, you make me smile so easily, and you’re very pretty.” Cole confesses in a low voice. He sounds so conspiratorial; Jesse turns red enough to be mistaken for the Red Ninja. “And...I also really like eyeshadow on you. A shame you don’t wear it a little more often.” 

Jesse makes a whining noise like a firework about to explode; Cole raises an amused eyebrow when Jesse buries his face into his hands.

“C-Coooole, you can’t just say that!”

“What, am I not supposed to tell the truth? Honesty is a virtue, after all~”

Jesse whines again; Cole bursts into a wild guffaw, barely pulling himself back together to speak again.  

“...all right, all right, let’s even the score then. Say something sappy about me! Try to get me flustered!” 

“That’s not fair; you’re like a rock!” Jesse pulls out of hiding to flail a weak arm in Cole’s direction. “There’s little that I could say that would break you! You take everything in stride!” 

“Awww, you haven’t even tried!” Cole leans against the gym wall, kicking up one of his feet against it. “C’mon, I bet you could do it! Of course, I’ll also totally accept you waxing poetic about how strong and gorgeous and hilarious I am, amongst other things—”

“I’m going to die,” Jesse bemoans under his breath, which only sends Cole into a fresh fit of laughter.

Despite how flushed his cheeks are from both embarrassment and adoration, Jesse still finds himself glancing absently at Cole. Cole’s so caught up in his own delight, his smile taking up his entire face. Just beholding it feels like staring directly into the sun; Jesse’s stomach does some sort of flip thing that his heart then decides to copy. 

But how can he not look, when Cole’s personality is so magnetic that good-hearted people can’t help but be drawn to him? When he’s so friendly without any effort at all, when he’s so kind without any ulterior motives, when he’s so beautiful inside and out?

“How am I supposed to tell you that you’re perfect and you don’t even realize it?! Or that I’m so glad I met you and I’m grateful I get to be your friend?! Or that I’d give you a flower every single day if it meant I could talk to you for even just a few minutes?! That I’ve adored you for longer than you’ve known I even exist?!” 

Jesse swallows, fighting really, really hard just to say anything.

The music suddenly hits a change in tempo, throwing him for a loop. The song changes, the beat drops, the lights flash with the colors of the Elemental Compass, and even Cole takes note of the change in atmosphere. 

“...hey, wait a sec,” Jesse says, eyes lighting up with realization. Sheer joy blooms onto his face as his foot starts tapping. “I love this song...!”

With renewed vigor, he twirls on his heel, grabbing Cole’s hand. Jesse locks their fingers together and pulls Cole away from the wall, guiding him out towards the crowd that seems to part specifically for them. Cole balks, caught off guard. Jesse revels in his surprise. 

“C’mon, let’s dance! We have to dance to this one...!” 

“W-Wait, now?!”

“Yeah, now! Why not?!” Jesse giggles, tightening his hold around Cole’s hand with the confidence of the Fuchsia Ninja. “What, afraid you’ll upstage everyone with a lil’ Triple Tiger Sashay~?”

Cole chokes on air, speechless for the moment, and Jesse takes that as his victory for making Cole flustered. He laughs and leads Cole through the sea of other students, fighting for a good spot towards the middle of the gym floor. Cole, swept up in the moment, simply allows himself to be led. 

Normally Jesse wouldn’t be bold like this, especially not with Cole of all people...but there’s just something about the night, the music, the moment that empowers him. 

There’s nothing more that he wants to do right now than dance with Cole. There’s nowhere else he rather be, and no one else he’d rather be with. 

He’s tired of pretending he’s not madly in love with this man. 

With strength equivalent to a Spinjitzu Master, Jesse pulls Cole into a spin, their arms outstretched yet latched with one another as they twirl. They’re not matching the beat of the music at all, but they throw care to the wind, the couple laughing too hard to bother. Once they stop spinning they break apart to bust out the first dance moves that come to mind, refined or not, and surrender themselves to the might and whims of the music.

Cole obviously has a far better sense of rhythm, able to make anything look good. He glides and shuffles across the floor with the grace of a practiced dancer, yet the strong gait of a seasoned fighter. It’s a mesmerizing combination to watch. 

But Jesse’s picked up a thing of two over last couple months of being exposed to Cole’s prestigious upbringing as a dancer. He uses what he’s learned to step, sway, and slide along the floor, putting his own touch on each move. He hovers and shimmers a little more than he probably should in public, yet he can’t bring himself to care, letting the magic fly right out of him as he dances. 

And at some point, the music hits a crescendo that sends the duo flying into each other’s arms, somehow matching the other step for step. Cole puts a supporting arm around Jesse to twirl them around before flinging Jesse outwards, and the two of them manage to burst out into identical dance moves. Cole goes right; Jesse goes right. Cole does a spin; Jesse spins the opposite way. They join hands and do something that Jesse thinks is a Quick Step (if that’s even a real dance), but he and Cole pull it off like they’ve been practicing a routine for years.

Only connected by the hands, Jesse and Cole grin at one another, stepping across the floor in a flurry of taps and miraculously manage not to step on their feet. Giggles of joy burst from their chests as they move and shuffle; Cole even pulls them chest to chest at one point before flinging Jesse out again, dragging them into another spin. They move so fast that Jesse almost thinks they’ll fly into Cole’s Spinjitzu, but instead Cole hoists Jesse into his arms and keeps twirling them around like that. Jesse throws his arms around Cole on instinct, and also briefly believes that he wouldn’t mind staying just like this forever.

Jesse eventually hits the ground again, his feet returning to the floor at the same point the music breaks to a stop. Cole’s arms are still supporting him and Jesse’s hands are still draped around Cole’s neck. Their chests heave with the exhaustion of being caught up in the moment, foreheads dripping in sweat...but neither of them lose their smiles even once. 

“I...always forget how much I actually do love to dance,” Cole says on a whisper. Jesse smiles, insides turning to goo.

“I just remember how much I like dancing with you.”

Cole beams back, only to gaze upon Jesse’s face, flushed a pretty shade of pink with glittering eyes to match. It’s bit of an absurd sight, and Cole can’t help but chuckle. 

“Hey, J-Jess,” Cole gasps out between laughs. “Your eyes are glowing.”

Oh, Jesse knows—he’s pretty sure he’s been blinking out sparkles for the last two minutes. But he catches Cole’s eye and finds Cole’s irises are just as vibrant. Light flows through them like lava down the side of a volcano. 

“Hey, yours are too...!”

Cole blinks, reaching up and feeling the warmth radiating off his face. “...ah, shit. Should we...go somewhere else until we calm down...?”

The next song emerges from the speakers. This one has a slower tempo that draws other student couples closer to one another. Jesse scans the area—everyone else seems preoccupied with themselves, so there’s no prying eyes...and even if there was, their “glowing eyes “could easily be chalked up to the dazzling lights of the room itself. No magical elemental emotional phenomena going on at all.

“...we should just stay like this.” Jesse tightens his arms around Cole’s neck, allowing him to lean his head against Cole’s shoulder. Cole hums in agreement, settling his hands just above Jesse’s lower back and relaxing. They both know that there’s a “proper” way to slow dance...but for right now, they’ll just take the excuse to be as close to each other as possible. It’s not like everyone else isn’t just swaying back and forth and calling it dancing.

After a few moments just enjoying each other’s company, Jesse pulls back, only slightly–just enough to get Cole back into his sights...and to remind himself that this is actually happening. Cole notices him staring this time and gives Jesse a gentle smile. Jesse smiles back...but he speaks into the silence, against his will, suddenly not in control of his own body. 

“...do you...regret coming with me?”

The word pour out of his mouth; bitter, abrupt, and unexpected like a drop of grape-flavored medicine rolling down his throat. Cole blinks in surprise, his grip around Jesse tightening. 

“Why...would you ask that?” 

“I...I don’t know...” Jesse furrows his brow. He feels like he’s forgotten something important. “I just...I guess I just wanted to be sure...”

“...Would you like me to convince you, then?” Cole stops them mid-sway, lifting his hands so they rest on Jesse’s shoulders instead. He gives them a gentle squeeze. Jesse thinks he stops breathing.

“H-Huh?”

“Would you...” Cole reaches up with his right hand, perching Jesse’s chin between his finger and his thumb. He gently tilts Jesse’s head back, and now, their gazes are laser-focused on one another. Time slows to a crawl. “ ...like me to convince you, that I don’t regret coming here with you?”

“I-I...Um...how do you...plan to do that? I mean, you could just say so, or–”

“Heh, why tell you when I could show you?” Cole asks, his voice light and airy and very unlike earth in this particular moment. “In other words...” 

Cole leans in, his face mere centimeters away from Jesse’s. The hand on Jesse’s chin moves up to cradle his cheek once again. 

“...can I kiss you?” 

Every nerve in Jesse’s body screams in the affirmative, yet none of them move to make Jesse’s mouth actually say the word yes. The entire expanse of the gym feels like its closed in on just the two of them, and you’d think it’d be somewhat claustrophobic...

...but when it’s just Cole filling his vision, gazing at him with nothing short of admiration and desire in his eyes, Jesse’s never been able to breathe easier.

His answer is obvious. Jesse opens his mouth to reply—

—a loud, obnoxious, blaring sound echoes throughout the whole gymnasium. 

People begin to scream and scatter, stampeding for the door like a giant herd of frightened cattle. Jesse and Cole pull apart, even while still clutching each others’ arms.

“...wait, is that the school’s emergency alarm?!” Jesse asks, straining his throat to say so. It’s definitely an alarm, but it’s a much different sound than the one the school usually uses for Garmadon attacks...even if it does ring with same amount of aggravating inconvenience. 

Still, it’s enough to throw Cole straight into Hero Mode. He pulls out of their embrace, romantic moment forgotten as the call of people to help, crime to fight, and justice to prevail drags him away. Cole stands up straight and battle-ready, slipping into his ninja-persona as easily as one would put on a coat. He’s perfectly silhouetted in the faint colors of the room, eyes shimmering with determination. Every contour of his muscles and body is framed by the dark, and the unrelenting desire to protect is outlined by the spotlights above. 

Jesse loves him so much. 

“I’ve gotta go, Jess.”  

It’s a statement as much as it is an abrupt goodbye, and Cole makes tracks for the gymnasium exit. The once upbeat music becomes muffled around Jesse, warping around him like he’s underwater or underground, and the colors blend into a single shade of gray, and the room starts to dim, and the air has become thick enough to choke—

Jesse knows this is going to end how it always ends—but please—not this time—they were so close to—!

“N-No, wait, Cole, you can take me with you! At least take me with you! Please! Cole!” 

Cole sprints out the door. It slams shut behind him, echoing throughout the now empty, quiet, barren, dark gymnasium. 

“COLE! COLE!”

And all Jesse can do is fruitlessly call after him, reaching out but never grasping, as he always does. 

X-X

“COLE!” Jesse yells, sitting up in his bed and throwing out a hand to grab what isn’t there. Reality quickly sets itself back into Jesse’s vision, leaving him surrounded by nothing but his bedroom. His phone is having a crisis on the side table, going off with his alarm to get ready for school in the same tones as in his dream. 

...With a grim realization, Jesse groans and flops backwards back into his pillow, scowling up at the ceiling. He slaps at his phone until the alarm stops. Even if that also results in it dropping to the floor...and lighting up the date in bold, white font. Jesse glowers at it from over the edge of his blanket. 

There’s still two weeks until the actual dance. And moreover, he hasn’t even asked Cole yet. Let alone dared to achieve anything close to his stupid fantasies. 

“...gaaaaah, can’t even escape the nasty surprises in my dreams,” Jesse grumbles. He pulls his pillow out from under him so he can scream into it. 

While muffling out his frustrations, his phone starts to ring—totally not with a ringtone ripped from one of Cole’s DJ sets. The sound forces him to slump out of bed with a devastated moan, flopping straight to the floor in order to answer it. 

“Whaaaaaat?” he groans into the mouthpiece, rubbing the sleep and disappointment out of his eyes. 

“...oh woooow, you actually answered on the second ring!” a higher-pitched voice chirps from the other end. “I thought it would’ve taken at least five, considering you sleep like you’re dead. Along with you having the manners of a dead person. As in, nonexistent. Not even a HELLO before nagging at me, you heathen?” 

Jesse murmurs as he puts his phone on speaker, resisting the urge to just leave himself face-down in his carpet. 

“I’m sorry. Morning, Mira.”

“Well, that’s better. Jeez, what if that had been Dad?”

“Only you call me this early,” Jesse mutters, rolling himself into a burrito with his blanket. He’ll remake his bed later. Right now, he just wants to spontaneously reincarnate as a burrito. 

“...you seem upset.” Miranda ponders after a lengthy bout of silence. Jesse swears he can hear her thinking. “...nightmare again?”

“Nah...it was...actually a good dream this time, believe it or not. It just...ended too soon, as usual.”

“A good dream, huh? Must’ve been about ~Coooole~ then.”

Jesse scoffs, fidgeting in his cocoon of blankets. “I-I’m not that predictable...!”

“Ooooh yeah, definitely about Cole. For a Master of Surprise, you’re very predictable.”

“That’s probably because you’re my sister.”

“Or I’m just that perceptive! ...I’d ask what it was about, buuuut I don’t want the second hand embarrassment. Master spare me.”

Jesse grunts as he pulls himself into a sitting position, his burrito now more of a squashed dumpling. He leans against his bed, facing the mirror on the far wall of his room. His clothes are crumpled beyond belief, and his hair sticks out in every possible direction. He looks as miserable as Miranda claims he sounds. 

...why’s he so sad, anyway? It really was a good dream, and at least it had a realistic ending...rather than the usual ones of him literally exploding from embarrassment, or where his powers start going crazy and he can’t control it, or when Cole rides off into the sunset on a piece of chocolate cake with Zane instead...

And the thing is, it felt so real too. Like, maybe, two degrees off of what reality could be. 

The intimacy of being close enough to apply makeup on each other, to tease one another relentlessly, to know the other well enough to compliment the smallest things...all those moments palpable enough to leave a lasting impact even after he woke up...

He felt like he was there—the taste of the mint remains on his tongue, the notes of his favorite song still play faintly in his ear, the smell of Cole’s cologne doing little to mask his natural earthy scent, the sight of a thousand colors providing a palette for a perfect moment...

How easy it was to recall how it felt, to be caressed by the absent touch of Cole’s hand against his face, or getting lost in the wholesome look in his eyes, or the imminent feeling of them almost crashing together as one, Cole’s lips potentially against his own—

Jesse gulps, a little bit terrified of just how badly he wants that. 

“...soooo, anyway, Mr. Miracle Maker.” Jesse jolts, entirely forgetting that Miranda’s still on speaker. He really hopes he hadn’t said any of that out loud. “What are you going to do now? Mope about it all day? Whine about how reality isn’t as good as your dreams or something?”

Jesse grunts—that does sound like his usual go-to move. But maybe...this time could be different. If a dream could feel that real...then maybe it’s not so far off from achieving in reality after all. And if nothing else...it can’t hurt to at least try for it. 

Jesse locks eyes with himself in the mirror...and smiles with a fierce wave of determination. 

“...I’m gonna go make that dream come true.”

[iamjamesmatthew]

IAJM INTERVIEW w/ OSCAR JOYO (@OscarJoyo)

OSCAR JOYO INTERVIEW by Matthew James IAJM: Hey, Oscar. Before we get into this talk, I’d like to start off by having you introduce yourself to readers as well as myself. OSCAR JOYO: My name is Oscar Joyo and I'm a Chicago-based visual artist who works in both traditional and digital media.I was born in Malawi in 1992 and moved to the US less than a decade later. I was inspired by animation, video games, movies, music, and art books from the 1999 Tarzan film growing up but graduated into anime, figurative painting, and surreal art as I got older. I continue to be influenced by artists of various disciplines to this day. IAJM: Growing up who were some of the artists that inspired you? OJ: As a kid, I was inspired by artists like Akira Toriyama, Alex Ross, James Jean, Glen Keane, and Kehinde Wiley. IAJM: What makes those particular artists so inspirational to you? OJ: Sure, these artists had some strong influences on because of how they combine things together to make a new viewing experience. I also admire their rendering abilities and how well they capture realism. Akira Toriyama was my first influence with his show Dragonball z. His combination of pop culture and fighting films really caught my attention. His way of drawing character was so simple to copy of from that I drew it all the time.As a kid, every kid in my class drew Goku and Vegeta.Honestly, if it weren't for that show and the profound impact it felt on me, I wouldn't be drawing today. I then graduated to Alex Ross with his blend of classical realism and comics which was foreign to me at the time.What makes him great was how he took his passion for comics and realism seen by artists like Norman Rockwell and fused them so beautifully. Glen Keane but more specifically his work on Tarzan is another influence on me. As I got older and really dove into his process and how tedious he had to study animal and human life (keyword: study) to make his characters come to life in his work. Kehinde Wiley with his mix of classic, Renaissance art and black culture really influenced me growing up. He utilised the representational aspect of figure painting so masterfully but what sold me on him was how regal he made his subject matter.It showed the importance of an African American and within us, there is royalty. I can't fully pinpoint what I loved about James Jean but his ability to switch from pop-oriental to comic book to surreal made me want to work with various media. Funny enough, I didn't like his work until I got to college and looked through his "Rebus" book. Like Kehinde with Black culture/Renaissance, James incorporates a traditional style of Japanese paintings with a surreal/representational approach. Overall, what I love about these artists all together is their willingness to study the world around them and then combine things together. For me, it made me embrace being able to move from technique to technique.  IAJM: So now, after having your "creative fire" lit by those artists, when did you begin to take your art as a serious endeavour to pursue? OJ: I was motivated to take art seriously around the age of 15 when my high school art teachers encouraged me to pursue it. It was a huge push for me since I love art in general and knowing that I can make a career of doing what I love.

IAJM: I like the piece of work you recently created inspired by the Marvel Comics Hip Hop variant series - the Danny Brown x Incredible Hulk piece is amazing. Have you contacted anyone from Marvel Comics about officially collaborating with their variant series? OJ: Thank you very much. Haha, unfortunately, I haven't been contacted by Marvel (yet). It would be cool if they contacted me since I have additional ideas for more variant covers. IAJM: What's a typical day in the life of Oscar Joyo like? OJ: My typical day is broken up into 3 branches but simply: I get up, go to work, come back to spend time with my roommates, draw and paint, then sleep or stay up if I had too much caffeine throughout the day. B.Drawing until I can't draw anymore, drinking coffee, and researching more art C.Attempting to leave the house but stay inside because something about the drawing doesn't look right.

IAJM: What big projects do you have planned for 2017? OJ: Currently, I'm working on issue #2 of Nebula Creatives' Lab99 graphic novel, which should be out during the summer of this year. Outside of that and drawing/painting constantly, I'll be making a new body of work. More details to come once I get settled with additional ideas but for now.I'll be playing with music and art. This approach was tested on a recent drawing entitled Jungles LP1, and I plan to make more like it over the coming months.

IAJM: What can you tell us about Nebula Creatives’ Lab99? What the graphic novel about? Where can people find it? OJ: Lab99 is sci-fi graphic series mainly about a Thai woman who wants to break out of being a regular person to search for extraterrestrial life.Through her experience of doing so, we see her handle each encounter and become more in tune with alien life. Currently, we are working on the prologue, which is 3 issues about one of the key characters, who is alien and how he lost contact with his kind as he crashes into planet Earth. You can find it on   nebulacreatives.com/lab-99, if you are outside Chicago.

IAJM: Aside from working on this the comic, do you commission work? If so, where can people go to reach you? OJ: I do get commission work and I'm always open to doing more. People can always reach me through scarjoyoart.wix.com/oscar-joyo or find me on Instagram.

IAJM: Let's look ahead to the future: 5.10.15. Where do you see yourself in 5 years? 10 years? 15 years? OJ: Haha, I've thought about this quite a bit actually. Within 5 years, I want to have my MFA in studio arts or illustration. During that time I'd have a strong gallery, illustration, and web presence.I'm doing well as a freelancer and I'm able to split time as a fine artist and illustrator. In 10 years, take it even further with my presence and hope to be travelling a lot. At this point, start considering opening up a gallery or even opening up a fund for high schoolers or anyone who want to pursue art as a career. At the moment, I'm not sure what 15 years would look like but I do know it's going to be very bright for me.

IAJM: Could you describe Chicago's art scene to me? Who are some of the people that consistently putting in work, representing the city? How competitive are the artists? Do you belong to any art collectives? Who are some the artists in your area that you feel people should be paying attention to? OJ: The Chicago art scene, to me, is an expressive, colourful, and culturally accepting landscape. Even though you get to see it about it anywhere, the beauty of art in Chicago is that it transcends beyond the page. I see work by local artists' work on apparel, buildings, videos, bridges, and such which helps make this place an open canvas for creativity. People like Brandon Breaux, Max Sansing, Sam DeCarlo, Antonia McMan, Hebru Brantley, Colin Van Dan Sloujs, and many others continuously put out work to make the city better. This city is filled to the brim of creatives from different walks of life that it makes me want to be a better artist so I can leave my mark. At the moment, I'm not in any collective but I'm not against being in one.

Some other names to look out for are Conrad Javier, Kayla Mahaffey, Joe Renda, Lucas Durham, Kevin Fagaragan, Alyssa Ecarma, Matt Wojtan, and Erik Lindquist. Of course, there are a lot more around the city so I highly recommend checking their Instagram and maybe you'll discover more nearby Chicago. Trust me, there's plenty of us.

IAJM: Last question. Who are some people you would like to thank or acknowledge for supporting you over the years? Is there anyone you would like to shout-out? OJ: Yes. First, I give thanks to God for giving me a wonderful family that continue to support me wherever I go and with all that I do. It wasn't easy but I'm extremely grateful for their tireless love. My inspiring friends, professors, and colleagues from my alma mater, American Academy of Art, my friends and extended family around South Bend, Chicago and especially the ones all over the world who have been on my side. People who have followed my work for a while and have seen my progress. Huge shout out to Eric, Kane, Kevin, Peter, Stacie, Tyler, and Natasha for being weird and teaching me more lessons that I put to use every day (sorta). Most importantly, Bruna, Nyame, Mary, and Steve for really getting me into art.I don't what you saw in me but thank you so much.I wouldn't be here without you all. 

[manuscripts-dontburn]

November 2017 wrap up

I participated in Nonfiction November, during which I fulfilled all the challenges set by Olive and Gemma (who stand behind this particular readathon), and even managed to sneak in something extra. But reading exclusively nonfction can be tiring at times, so I also included few fiction books. What did I read?

Unmentionable: The Victorian Lady's Guide to Sex, Marriage, and Manners (Therese Oneill)

Have you ever wondered what the ladies wore under those fabulous dresses? How they used to flirt? What was their hygiene like? And what really was the infamous disease called hysteria? This book holds all the answers! It is both illuminating, funny and at the same time rather horrifying. An extremely approachable non-fiction which will elicit amused grin as well as disbelief and sometimes disgust at less-than-perfect lives of the perfect Victorian society and its women. Nice. 4 stars!

The Correspondence Of The Empress Alexandra Of Russia With Ernst Ludwig And Eleonore, Grand Duke And Duchess Of Hesse. 1878-1916 (edited by Petra H. Kleinpenning)

The title really says it all. This is a collection of letters and postcards that remain in the Hessian State Archive and once carried messages of news, love and worries between Empress Alexandra and her brother. Through these letters I got to know yet another side of Alix and woudl recomend to anyone interested in the last Romanovs. 5 stars!

The Snow Child (Eowyn Ivey)

Heavily inspired by a Russian folk tale of childless parents who make a little snow maiden which comes to life, it should be right up my alley. And true enough, this books reads very quickly and easily. I liked the inspiration behind it, I enjoyed the story and the relationships.... and yet on the whole I felt the story lacked something. It felt "lukewarm" in a way. And suddenly it was over, as if just by the way... . 3 stars!

 Angelique: the Marquise of the Angels (Anne & Serge Gollon)

I am not sure how many non-European (and even European) young users have ever watched the famous pentalogy of films about Angélique, based on a series of books of which this one is the first. See, those movies were a big part of my childhood and also played part in how I viewed epic romance for a long time. A poor yet gorgeous noblewoman living in France in the times of Louis XIV, is compelled to marry a man, who is filthy rich (and as we come to know also a genius in everything he does). Yet she is not happy. Because this husband is 12 years her senior, with scarred face and a prominent limp. Eventually she realizes she loves him.... but soon after the storm comes and thus really starts the long and pretty epic plight of Angelique.... that goes on for another 15 or so books. I admit that for everything that has become a cliché over the years (but was probably not clichéd back in the 50s when the book came out), I like the story a lot. It is not the best book nor the best written piece of literary fiction, but there is a great deal of charm. Oh, you can watch the first of the five films HERE (in the original French) 3,5 stars!

The Warrior Queens (Antonia Fraser)

Extremely interesting study of women in history who have been viewed as "unnatural" because they dared (or were forced to) step into a role traditionally reserved for a man. Antonia Fraser weaves the legend of Boadicea through the entire book, using it to show various aspects typical for the warrior Queens, be it the "Tomboy Childhood", "Shame syndrome" or the "I am just a weak woman". Her writing flows beautifully and the stories she present in a very engaging way too. The Warrior Queens is a splendid and unbiased study of some of the most remarkable female characters throughout world history. ! 4 stars!

A Universal History of the Destruction of Books (Fernando Báez)

"Dort wo man Bücher verbrennt, verbrennt man auch am Ende Menschen," or "Where books are burned, in the end, people will also be burned." Such were the words of Heinrich Heine and after reading this book one is painfully reminded how true they are. Fernando Báez put together an impressive and thoroughly researched study dedicated to one of the most common sign of inherent human barbarism - destruction of books and documents throughout centuries AND today. While the books may no longer be written on a papyrus or engraved into clay, the whole book shows how people never change and how weak and arrogant they stay in each generation, not becoming better at all. It is a depressing read. The reason why I rate it 3 stars? While written in a quite accesible way, the book too often slips and instead of a STORY becomes a list of lost publications, names and nature of which most readers would never have heard of. At other times it is a list of natural disasters and places. We know that books were lost and destroyed. But the HISTORY behind that loss is only examined briefly. I could imagine a more concise and eclectic work on the same topic, which would eventually have same (if not better) learning value. 3 stars!

Alix and Nicky: The Passion of the Last Tsar and Tsarina (Virginia Rounding)

Having read quite a few biographies of Nicholas and Alexandra, I was not sure if there would be anything new for me in this book. And while most of the information were indeed not "new", the way they are organized, presented and interpreted make the publication truly wonderful. Perhaps because this time the writer is a woman (most of the Romanov fiction is written by men) the politics is not the main topic. Instead we are invited to the most intimate circle of the last Imperial couple and explore their feelings and inner world. The author takes a sympathetic view of both Nicholas and Alexandra, but provides logical arguments for her conclusions and there is neither positive bias nor ironic scorn one is now used to see when reading about these people. Some of the issues analyzed (which tend to be mentioned, but remain unexplored by other authors), include the real state of Alexandra´s health and the less than ideal relationship of the couple with Anna Vyrubova. I was also pleasantly surprised at how well the whole family is presented as a tightly-knit unit - as opposed to the popular narrative of Alexandra giving her all to Alexei, while the daughters are virtually non-existent. The first half of the book does not really move chronologically, which may be taxing for readers without previous knowledge of the timeline, but to me it added to the experience - again because I have read many Romanov books and this one, thanks to the "time-travel" was different. 5 stars!

Burial Rites (Hannah Kent)

Gloomy and bleak. Full of inner thoughts. How else describe a book that is about Agnes, the last person to have ever been executed in Iceland? This is not an action packed book, rather a little glimpse of a distant world and lives. Some may be distracted during the reading by constant changes from third person to first person narrative, to me it did not matter much. The ending had me in tears, even though I knew the outcome from the very beginning. (I could have done without the bloody phlegm one of the characters keeps spitting out though) 4 stars!

Konstantin Makovsky: The Tsar’s Painter in America and Paris (various authors)

Konstantin Makovsky is my favourite Russian artist and I was extremely happy to discover this book which, even though short, presents some of his work to the world. Because it seems that for all his fame in life he was largely forgotten today. I only wish somebody would write a proper biography of Makovsky, illustrated with his paintings. I would pay big money for that! 4 stars!

So there you have it my dear fellow booklings! Have you read any of these books? What did you think of them? Do you agree with me or not? And what did you read last month?

[brilliantheartbeautifulmind]

google + my reading list

Nicholas Carr picks up where our previous readings from Phaedrus and about the invention of writing and movable type left off.  He brings us to the present day, when we get our news in 140-character tweets and our attention spans are smaller than they have ever been.  The invention of the Internet and, to a lesser extent, Google, changed the way we approach knowledge and information forever.  No longer are extensive allusions in literature and the possession of arcane bits of trivia impressive; the information that once was reserved for those with excellent memories and expensive educations is now available to all with a few clicks.  This is an extension of the fear that Plato expressed in Phaedrus, of people being “filled with the conceit of wisdom instead of real wisdom.”  We don’t even have to read and absorb knowledge, we can find a definition or opinion for us to read off our glowing screens.

The part that struck me most in this essay was when Carr talks about Taylor’s theory of automation in factories and Google’s plan of applying that to the internet.  My favorite quote at the moment and one that I have been basing many of my actions around recently comes from the Victorian art critic John Ruskin.  In The Stones of Venice, a book that nominally addresses the form and function of Gothic architecture but is really about humanity, he says, “…while in all things that we see, or do, we are to desire perfection, and strive for it, we are nevertheless not to set the meaner thing, in its narrow accomplishment, above the nobler thing, in its mighty progress; not to esteem smooth minuteness above shattered majesty; not to prefer mean victory to honourable defeat; not to lower the level of our aim, that we may, the more surely enjoy the complacency of success” (178).  As a perfectionist myself, it is tempting to only attempt projects I know will succeed, rather than trying for something that will stretch me that may also completely fail.  The internet takes away the possibility of failure but removes much of the potential for learning.  To illustrate this, allow me two examples.

In the first, I am trying to recall the name of a poet.  I tell my mother, “I can’t think of the name of that poet who wrote a ton of depressing poetry and eventually stuck her head in the oven and killed herself.  Do you know her name?”  My mom nods her head and I quickly interrupt her, “Don’t tell me!  I’ll think of it.”  

“Let me know if you need a letter,” she replies.  In our family, we frequently play the name game.  Someone asks another person for help remembering the name of a family friend or famous person, living or dead, and the person who has the answer gives the first letter of the searched-for first or last name. Needing a letter is, of course, admitting defeat, so I start rattling off the things I remember about this nameless poet.  

“She had a horrible husband who cheated on her and knocked up his mistress…he wrote a radio play about the affair and she was horribly humiliated and that led to her successful suicide…It’s not Edith Wharton; she’s a novelist…” This tactic is not working out so I switch to the Alphabet Game.  “A…B…C…D…E…still not Edith Wharton…F…G…” Somewhere around “M” I have my eureka moment and shout out “Sylvia Plath!”

This whole interval took me about three minutes.  I just tried Googling the exact question I asked my mother.  It took nine seconds for me to type in my vague clues and get the correct answer.  In the week since my little memory work, I have never once had to reach any further than a second to find Sylvia Plath’s name.  

My second example finds me, as is typical, needing the answer to a technical question.  I enter “how to screenshot on a mac” into the Google bar and find the answer (command + shift + 4).  A few days later, I need to screenshot something yet again and can’t remember how to do that, so I return again to Google for my answer.  

These examples show, to me, the difference between memory and accessibility. In the first instance, I searched my brain for a bit of knowledge I knew was there, but couldn’t remember at the moment. After a few minutes of musing, I found the answer within myself (in the least cliché way possible) and have had no trouble recollecting that answer since.  The process of looking and coming up empty, of trying and failing has cemented certain pieces of knowledge into my brain in a way that instantly retrieving information from a secondary source will never achieve.  However, knowing how the invention of printing revolutionized the way we interact with and gain knowledge, it seems foolish to decry what is obviously the next great step in accessible information.  Instead, I would encourage everyone, where and when it is possible, to take a few minutes to search your own personal information database before turning to that blinking cursor and typing in “what is a word that means outside but attached to your body?”

 What I’m Reading and Why

After much deep thought over the past week, I have come to the realization that I am avoiding the inevitable.  I have been staying in my comfort zone.  I have written short stories before and the idea of writing 12 short stories was not as formidable as what I now understand I must do.  This is a novel.  A novel about three women, related to each other by blood and experience and location. The inspiration I took from Paul-Albert Besnard’s prints does not lead me to a series of vignettes, but rather to a larger work, encompassing generations. 

I avoided this decision because I will need to have a grander theme with a more acute reason for the action to begin.  Since I’m writing literary fiction, the need for a momentous action is not as necessary as it would be if I was writing a mystery or thriller but the need still exists.  I also want to keep the original order of the Besnard prints intact.  In addition to an overarching plot, I will also be jumping around in time quite a bit and will need to decide how to do that. These struggles and decisions will impact the research I need to do, hence this announcement. 

Renascence by Edna St. Vincent Millay:  This poem by one of my favorite poets depicts the sensation of dying, being buried, and deciding to rejoin life.  It will be helpful when crafting the chapters that deal with suicide and apotheosis.

Willa Cather: Our Nebraskan author fulfills several needs from the fiction I am reading.  She provides a female voice and a rural setting.  I have loved her work since I first read My Antonia years ago and am really looking forward to reacquainting myself with it.

Mari Sandoz:  This historian provides stories from the rough and tumble days of the homesteaders, an important group to know about when you are writing about people who still live in the glory of their successful ancestors.

Non-Fiction and Essays:  I will be using my favorite search engine (JSTOR) to find academic essays and research papers on the psychological and emotional repercussions of the various traumas my characters will undergo.  JSTOR offers a list feature in which I will collect these various articles until it is time to read them.  A few examples of the search terms I am using are:

-       After effects of rape within a family

-       Hereditary mental illnesses

-       Influence of evangelical Christianity on self-esteem after trauma

-       Results of a matriarchal society on adult children

-       Drug abuse in rural America

As you can see from these categories, the issues I will be doing research on are the themes on which I feel unqualified to address without further study.  If necessary, I will expand my search past journals only to books, documentaries, etc.

Sylvia Plath:  A famously troubled poet, Plath tried and eventually succeeded in taking her life. The themes she expresses in her poetry are similar to the themes that I will be working with and will provide additional insight into the emotional mindset of my troubled characters.

The Nest by Cynthia D���Aprix Sweeney:  This is a great intergenerational family drama that fits into the genre I chose.  I read this book when it first came out, but I think it warrants a reread so that I can learn at the feet of a master.

Literary Fiction:  The former is only an example of that, but I will be reading this genre in general so that I can truly understand the mechanics. This isn’t as pressing a To Be Read item as the rest of the items on this list, but I will be focusing my “fun” reading time on this style. 

Of course, this is only the start of my list.  I feel like these texts will give me a good jumping-off point from which to begin outlining and writing.