#and you head for the sex shop as dragon age trips and falls into a bin

[inkyquince]

Seeing any dragon age content now is like seeing an ex at a mall. And they're literally rotting.

[tonystarkbingo]

Tony Stark Bingo Prompt Meme

So, we did another Prompt Meme game, and came up with these summaries based on a three-tag prompt. This is an open prompt, if any of these summaries look like fun to you, please feel free to write them!! Tag us or the writer of the prompt when you do so we can all see how cool you are and what you’ve given us for the promot

@summerpipedream - Winteriron - All Tony wanted to do after finishing up at MIT was to pack up his desk at Stark Industries and quietly fade into obscurity. Sure money was tight, but he never expected Jan to actually sign him up for one of those social media reality shows. Now, he was stuck in a house, with no phone, no internet, or access to the outside world, trying to avoid the sexy Bucky Barnes, who's mission in life seemed to be to never wear a shirt around him.

@darthbloodorange - The world is ending, an alien race has all but taken over the world, it is an apocalypse of devastating proportions, most of the world is dead. The Avengers, those who are left, have retreated to a bunker built a fourth of the way down into the Earth’s core. Tony and Steve have been growing closer, when they are not working together to find a way to fight back against the aliens, they are fuck buddies. Tony’s a genius, he knows the odd of surviving this are not in their favour. Odds were that they were going to die… and well, Tony doesn’t want to die without letting Steve know how he feels. Before the battle Tony corners Steve in the armoury and confesses that he loves him. Steve is aromatic, has been since project rebirth.  They are both so very sorry. 

@newnewyorker93 - After a series of strange killings where the victims are found set up kneeling like they're praying, Tony Stark (a private detective) is on the case. An initial (false) suspect is the local priest, Matt Murdoch, who ends up being a helpful ally in solving the case (and possibly more)

@27dragons - Winteriron: You'd think that Tony Stark would have learned to ski when he was growing up. You'd think wrong; Howard never saw the point in it. So here he is, almost done with his PhD, and his friends have decided on a spring break trip to go skiing. He doesn't want to admit to them that he doesn't know how, so their first night at the lodge, he offers one of the ski instructors a large sum of money to sneak him up onto the slopes for a few lessons that night. Against his better judgment -- but desperately needing the cash -- Ski instructor Bucky Barnes takes Tony up on the slopes. Unfortunately, just as Tony's starting to get the hang of things, it starts snowing. Hard. Even more unfortunately, the newfallen snow disguises a patch of ice and Tony tumbles out of control. By the time Bucky catches up to him and verifies that he's not badly hurt, the snow is coming down too hard to see the lodge -- so what else are they to do but seek shelter in a caretaker's cabin conveniently (TM) nearby and wait for morning...?

@gavilansblog - Tony is kidnapped as part of an Evil Plot (TM). He's handling things just fine, tyvm, until his would-be rescuer (who he's been pining for, obviously), gets dragged in and handcuffed back to back with him. Seriously, dude? If you insist on breaking the kidnapping procedure at least actually rescue me! The taxes come in when the Evil Plot Master does his monologue and reveals that the kidnapping is part of a Villain Logic scheme to get Stark Industries to throw money behind the campaign to get a new law requiring actually taxing billionaires to fail. Evil Plot Master is, naturally, a billionaire. Tony would facepalm if he weren't handcuffed to his idiot rescuer, seriously. And then the kidnapping protocol kicks in and Jarvis shuts the whole facility down only instead of being handcuffed by himself Tony is now handcuffed to his rescuer so they have to do the whole escaping part of the plan while handcuffed together, resulting is the standard Tension (TM) moments and possibly an almost-kiss.

Fey Relay - Bruce, Tony, and Peter, resident science geeks, get de-aged and really want to play in the lab. You know, the one that has lots of things that can kill them in it? But they're still sort of mentally in there, just cranky and smol. So they get assigned their own Non-Science Adults who they hand-hold and point to do their sciency bidding. Thor, Steve, and Natasha oblige them and have great fun!

@rise-up-ting-ting-like-glitter Dragons were real. Okay they were actually just souped-up dinosaurs, but that didn’t mean Tony wasn’t being hunted—with intent—by lizards. He hadn’t wanted to come to this stupid Island in the first place. SI funding had explicitly been removed from the crackpot idea to return dinosaurs to the food chain. He could have told everyone that this was going to happen. Instead he was climbing through a jungle with a one-armed man who refused to give his name and if they didn’t get to the raptor enclave, retrieve the anti-venom, and return in time, people Tony loved were going to die.

His guide had better live up to his scruffy wild-man appearance or Tony was going to lose everything.

@somesortofitalianroast - Nurse Bucky Barnes wasn’t sure what exactly was going on. The vigilante known as Nomad had just crashed through the (luckily) open fire escape window. While he was lucky not to have any broken bones, he was unlucky enough to have a bad concussion. A really bad one. One that meant he couldn’t fall asleep. Also unfortunately, he only had the one bed and the enormous Nomad wouldn’t fit on his couch, so they’d have to share. It was only after he helped Nomad into his bed that he noticed the blood, and, unthinking, he pulled the cowl off to check for another, serious injury. And gasped. Nomad was Steve Rogers, his best friend in school, who’d died in an IED attack in Iraq 5 years earlier.

@polizwrites Natasha Romanov and Virginia Potts are the proprietors  of  Chaykus -  a Russian tea room on the seedy side of town.  Its new mission  is to be a sanctuary for women  who have been smuggled into the country for sex trafficking purposes.  As for the men who engage in such practices? Well, they are quickly discovering that their days are numbered.

@dixiehellcat - Pepper is the manager of the heavy metal band War Machine. James Rhodes, lead guitarist and founder of the band, is looking for a new lead singer. He did not expect the woo-loving Virginia to get horoscopes cast for the applicants and decide based on that. He just wants somebody who can sing, dammit. This Stark kid is uncomfortably attractive, yeah, but he's been thrown out of two bands already. what? the shower sex? it was only that one time after a show, and they were both wasted...

@dracusfyre Tony was born without a soul mark. Bucky's was lost forever when Hydra took his arm.  Without the universe to give you a hint that this person is The One, falling in love is gambling with your heart. But soulmates don't have to be born, they can be made - and Bucky and Tony decide that the same should be true of soul marks, as well

@ceealaina Tony was like nerd prime growing up. Normally he doesn’t let it bother him too much — he’s got inventions to invent, after all. But all of a sudden he realizes that he’s almost 20, he’s got two degrees under his belt, and has no idea how to do much more than kiss. He’s not entirely sure how he manages to convince Rhodey to sleep with him to “get it out of the way,” or how he manages to convince him to keep sleeping with him to “help improve my technique,” but it’s the best sex of his life (not that he has much to compare it to) and he never wants it to end. But it’s the night when they’re watching movies, and Tony’s ends up dozing against Rhodey’s shoulder only to wake up to a feather light kiss against his forehead that he realizes he might be in trouble. 

@thudworm - King Anthony considers it part of his royal duties to protect his people by going out and taking care of any monsters harassing them. Of course, no one can know that the knight Iron Man is really the king, which leads to some fun assumptions about Iron Man’s identity.

@jacarandabanyan Tony’s mom forbid him to purposefully drive out his roommates so that he can have a room all to himself where he can tinker until morning light. She had to hear about it from friends, acquaintances, and other well-known socialites often enough when Tony went to boarding school and ran his roommates off there. Now that he’s in college, that behavior must stop. Luckily for Tony, he doesn’t even have to try to get the first two roommates at MIT to request a room switch. But then he meets his third roommate- a tall, handsome, funny man named James Rhodes. At first it was just natural joy at having a fellow competent engineer to hang out with, and perhaps the occasional dirty thought. But his crush on the man quickly grows. Before he knows it, Tony’s pining hard for his best friend. Every once in a while he thinks Rhodey might be interested too- but then he hears Rhodey lecturing a computer science senior for plying Tony with :beer: alcohol at a party because “come on, man, kid’s only 16. Have a little class and try chasing skirts a little closer to your age.” After that, he’s convinced Rhodey will only ever see him as a friend and a kid.

psychiccatpanda - Tony works hard and puts in long hours.  So what if some of his long nights turn into very early mornings at CHew 2 OH.  The only drawback is his business partner and head baker, Steve, with his disappointed looks and his continual arguing.  When Steve's friend Bucky starts hanging around the shop, though, Tony notices.  Oh lord, he notices. A month or so later, one night when he and Steve are working after hours at Steve's place to plan their seasonal menu, Steve tells him that he's noticed him checking out Bucky.  Tony hits him with a decorative pillow and things kind of get out of hand.  Surveying the damage (let's face it - Steve's coffee table was never going to be quite right again), Steve turns to him, "I was just going to suggest you get some practice kissing before asking him out."  Oh.  Oh...

@tisfan So... the problem with being a necromancer is being able to practice one's skill. The local cemeteries won't even let you look at a dead body if you're not a relative. Tony Stark, budding necromancer, forges a marriage certificate for the John Doe so that he can practice his craft. Only to find that it works perfectly. Bucky is No Longer Dead, and 100% interested in staying married...

@abrighterdarkness He didn’t mean to snoop.  He knew that wasn’t what he was being paid for here--the loud laughter of the party echoing from down the hall where he was actually supposed to be, was clear enough reminder of that fact. All Tony wanted was two short minutes to breathe without being pawed at--yes, yes, that might be his job but breathing room was much appreciated just the same--and now he was stuck in this closet sized bathroom with what sounded like a mob-hit being discuss right outside the door.  He knew he should’ve turned this job down.

magica - Howard Stark had an idea. Some people - alright, most people, stop hitting me, Maria! - would say it was a terrible idea. But it was only a little injection of stuff based on that strange glowing blue cube they'd found in the Arctic. And Tony was absolutely willing, let's get that straight, Maria! How was Howard supposed to know that it'd enable Tony to open up his own portals? And if some mystical green energy happened to swamp Tony just as he was opening a portal to Egypt? Well, that wasn't his fault. The dark-haired, well-built Priest of Anubis that Tony manages to bring back with him? That is not his fault either, damn it, Maria!

@festiveferret - Tony could say with absolute confidence - at least, if he could say anything at all in his current predicament - that this was not the way his PR rep, Pepper, would have wanted him to come out. There were, he figured, several hundred ways that the day could have gone better, but if asked to rank the top three, he'd put them thusly: 

1) That he decided to come out by having a wild, unabashed make out session with none other than Captain America, in the middle of a busy New York street.

2) That it was, in fact, the morning after their first "date" - a term he was applying loosely here - and not a tasteful reveal of a long-standing, safe, secure, adult relationship.

And 3) That at some point between the first floor lobby of his apartment building and the front door off his penthouse suite he'd suddenly, unexpectedly, and so-far permanently been turned into a ferret and no one knew.

It would also probably concern her to discover that of all these rather bewildering turns in his life, the one at the forefront of his mind was that ferrets couldn't send morning-after texts, and he didn't want Steve to think their little dalliance had been nothing more than an - albeit unfortunately public - one night stand.

Of one thing he was sure, however: Pepper was going to need a raise.

[lothirielswanmarvel]

Dating Thor Would Include:

You can unleash your true inner geek with Thor—he’ll enjoy Lord of the Rings marathons and video game nights with you (Dragon Age is like his fave). One Punch Man fascinates him. Thor loves your quirky taste, you always interest him.

Sharing hair products together. Also days where you’ll try treatment packs together. Thor loves braiding your hair, and he’ll practically melt into your touch if you play with his hair. Head scratches/massages are common in your relationship (careful with the last one, that has a tendency to ignite things in the bedroom).

Whenever he returns from his cosmic space trips, he goes straight to you, and his face lights up when his eyes fall on you.

The PDA is shameless. Thor will constantly give you full-lip kisses, play with your fingers, have an arm around you/hold your hand when you walk together. His feelings for you are unquestionable.

Y/N: Thor, I haven't brushed my teeth this morning yet.

Thor: I don't care. *continues explosive kiss*

Wanda and Scott in the background with watermelon: THAT IS SO TRUE LOVE!11!!!!1!

Tony: That is so an increase on dentist bills.

Thor isn't jealous much, but when it’s activated (ahem, when Quill visits Earth, ahem) Thor will be very sly, harboring a smile that isn't too friendly while dropping many hints at your relationship. He’s very clingy, too. It's funny to watch the God of Thunder act so childish.

He has the absolute cutest nicknames for you: Stardust, my love, my darling, my Queen/King, my precious, etc.

The sex is phenomenal.

I mean, completely mind-blowing. Extra emphasis on the “blowing” part.

We’re talking about the God of Fertility here.

But love doesn't just exist in the bedroom for you two. Thor cares so much for you—when he catches you coming out of the shower, he’ll bundle you up in a towel and dry you off, all warm and toasty. Thor will even go food shopping with you, grabbing things off high shelves for you—he’ll push you around in the cart. 

Thor is over a thousand years old. He's been through battles. He's slain beasts. He spent years as the hilarious victim of Loki’s magic. Thor has seen it all, so there is no way in hell you can worry about grossing him out. Pimples? Frigga’s witch friends had bigger moles. Menstrual cycles? Blood is like a ketchup stain to him. Bed head? Thor’s probably the cause of that one to be honest (he finds it adorable btw). Messy house? We’ve seen his room with Darryl. Thor will stay right by your side, even when the yucky parts of being human come to light. And no matter what, you will appear as the most gorgeous thing in the universe to him.

For a God of Thunder, Thor’s a ray of sunshine. He will forever be smitten with every part of you. Unlike what everyone believes, there’s more to Thor than a big beautiful mountain of muscle: he’s kind, loving, and will treat you like the divine Queen/King you are.

[notthelasttime]

mmmmtagged by @flykiwiflyaway

Rules: Answer 30 questions and tag 10 people

# following: around 250

# of followers: 70ish here, 300ish on my main blog

Average hours of sleep: really really depends tbh. been trying to get a solid 7-8 hours bc i’ve felt pretty garbage lately but sometimes shit happens and i’ll get like. 4 or 5.

Lucky number: 8 and 13

Instruments: haven’t picked it up in a considerable amount of time but I can still play (badly) the viola and violin

What are you wearing: sweat pants that are too big on me and an old tshirt that’s been washed too many times and is starting to fall apart. it says ‘dissent is patriotic’ on it, bought during my young edgy teen punk™ days

Dream job: GOD anything self employed at this point, either art or writing, but my production is so up and down i.. don’t know if i’ll ever actually be able to make it happen. you can’t finish one thing every 6 months and hope to support yourself on it so

Dream trip: I have romantic ideas about paris that i know would realistically only lead to disappointment. otherwise i’d probably give my left tit to see ankor wat irl

Significant other: nnnnnah son

Birthday: october 5th

Height: 5′6ish, maybe a little taller

Gender/pronouns: female, she/her

Other blogs: main blog, art blog, a shared writing blog for short stories i have with a friend that we keep forgetting about then trying to revive, that blog i kept while working at a sex shop to save ridiculous stories but is now defunct and i just don’t have the heart to delete it, a blog for my/my best friends youtube channel which has turned into nothing but bad video game memes

Nicknames: jess is already a nickname. sometimes my dad calls me jezebell or just bell. a last-name related nickname that would make no sense out of context

Star Sign: libra. why i’m so full of Justice and can never make up my mind, apparently

Time: 8:59pm

Favorite Bands: thee michelle gun elephant

Favorite artists: ummmmmmmm idk that i can settle on one favorite but i went through a pretty hardcore ivan albright phase for a while lmao. and i strive for my linework to be as intense as junji ito

Favorite tumblr artist: UH well not a tumblr artist so to speak, more like an artist that happens to be on tumblr - daisuke ichiba. i've also been very in to apollonia saintclair but BIG nsfw warning on her tumblr

Song stuck in your head: my very uncool answer is that the bridge combat music from hellblade has been stuck in my head for like a solid week

Last movie you watched: jiro dreams of sushi but idk how much it counts bc i just had it on as background noise

Last show you watched: started watching one punch man recently

Why did you make your blog: this blog in particular was made to keep my fanfic bullshit separate from my regular bullshit.

What do you post: bad opinions, video games, occasionally writing and even less often art

Fandom contributions: initially all promnis fic but now i’m branching out. expanding my horizons. trying my hand at gladnis, sheith and fenhawke. becoming the one woman ignyx show. 

Last thing you googled: john corigliano

Ao3: notthelasttime

Do you ever get asks: i do on occasion. more after i starting live blogging the dragon age experience lmao

How did you get the idea for your url: i wanted something for ao3 that had no connection/similarities to anything else i had online but i have no idea it just sort of popped in my head. i think initially i was thinking like.. won’t be the last time or something similar, but i like the repeating letters in notthelasttime

Favorite food: man idek i couldn’t even narrow it down i don’t know

Last book you read: currently reading Hannibal mostly because clarice can be cool sometimes

Top 3 fictional universes: DA has gotten fantasy on my brain so middle earth absolutely comes to mind. columbia from bioshock strictly from an aesthetic standpoint my... issues with the game itself aside.and there’s a big soft spot in my heart for deepgate from the book scar night but i would definitely not want to live there, also the other books in the series were so... mediocre in comparison. but there’s something about deepgate for sure. 

from my recent notes minus people that have already been tagged: @breotch-iunderstoodthatreference @libertusostiums @lunaloupgarou @the-mad-duchess @muncharoux @cheepx2 but also ZERO pressure if you don’t wanna