#and.im just scared
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really wishing I had the guts to make a separate jirai blog rn. I cannot hold this in gang☹️☹️☹️☹️
#urgghhh ranting more than venting rn but like#my family fights like. so much I hate it omfg 😓😓😓😓#by family I mean my mom and brother#and it's been happening for years which I think has attributed to some of my problems??#I grew up around physical and verbal fights around mental health issues around all that shit#and even tho my brother is In college now#everytime he comes back it's just yell yell yell#and we all love each other#but. now I'm starting to have arguments with my mom more??#and.im just scared#that. things will end up like how they are going for my mom and brother#we're all working on it tho#love the fam😓#did I ever mention I'm a jirai#okay. the more you know
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Shaking my healthy lifestyles teacher so fucking hard right now I just. We're in the mental health unit and he's just. Phobias aren't just 'being scared' it's a debilitating state of anxiety that impedes on how you act in every day life. To those who have it it isn't 'easily avoidable' and it can be fucking terrifying at times and often needs medications and the most common thing is avoidance behaviors which feed into the phobia and only intensify it and.im so fucking angry when he's acting like this is your everyday thing of being slightly uncomfortable by something like. No. It's a disproportionate fear response to something seemingly normal that can on many occasions cause anxiety or even panic attacks.
Ah-
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i hope, you feel better soon emma and i love u and if u ever need anything or if i can do anything to help u at all i am here for u
thank you it was just. so fucking sudden i got so scared and im not sure what it was and.im scared something will happen to me tonight if i fall asleep im just. hhh. my head losing focus and feeling cold like that. combined with the pain in my ribs. what was that i dont know. ive stayed awake for nearly 24 hours now
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Tired of crying myself to sleep. Tired of being alone.. Tired of fucking wishing I was good enough. All I ever do is sit and cry, creep, and pray that You'll open your eyes. If you're so.sure ill.fuck up, why can't I have a chance? You're literally just scared of being proven wrong. I'll make you feel stupid and choke on your words cause whether you like it or not I'm here to stay, and.im not giving up until you give me a chance. Idgaf what the odds are, I'm fucking winning this situation
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