#anna what tf is this like the off white is just so…. off putting

[prideprejudce]

what in the colgate toothpaste is this carpet

[realdealrealtalk]

Grand Army

 I am in love with this show. I’ve heard people say it’s a Netflix euphoria which I kind of agree to disagree with, GA is more muted and realistic in a way. Not to say Euphoria isn’t real but the show is very dramatic in a sense. GA would actually happen in everyday life. Nothing was insane except for the bomb threat but honestly I’ve had a shooting threat called into my school multiple times so this is just the NY version of that. Anyway onto the characters:

Dom- amazing, beautiful, talented, hardworking, absolutely flawless 10/10

Joey- in the beginning she was a performative activist and self absorbed. She labeled herself an ally of POC then hung out with George and Luke who call their only brown friend every variation of racial jokes. She had an active hand in Owen’s suspension, how can you claim your for POC then act oblivious to how your influence as a white woman could impact a black mans’ future. After the meeting with the principal, she had the nerve to turn to Dom saying how she felt “really bad” about what happened. Moving past this, what happened to Joey was evil. She was assaulted/betrayed by the people she trusted the most in the world. She is stronger than any character I’ve ever seen. I was so proud of her for standing up to her abusers and confronting them. I’m so proud she started dancing again and I hope she gets the healing/justice she deserves. 8.5/10

Leila- I think her storyline/character is very complex and deserves an in depth review. I could make a whole post about only her. She was trash for blaming Joey because she was getting attention from Geo and Leila wasn’t. You never blame the girl and Leila should know better. However, I’m not going to pretend that George’s abuse of Leila was her fault. He is two years older than her and using her for sexual favors, it’s disgusting. Her treatment of Rachel throughout this entire thing was absolutely so selfish. It was Rachel’s sister’s day and all she could talk about was “he’s not texting me back”. I understand she is a freshmen and this happens a lot because high school is new and exciting but she needs to understand that her actions have consequences. Her battle with her identity as an minority adopted by white parents is so strong and I hope she comes to understand who she truly is. She called out her mom for her treatment of Asian women *chefs kiss* and started to think about where she comes from. HOWEVER, when she told the Asian girl in her class to “speak f*cking english”? How on earth can you struggle with knowing yourself/place as a minority then tell other minorities a racist phrase that is used to belittle their struggles? The white writers in charge of the show really shone through there. 6/10

Jayson-he went through a very big change during these nine episodes and I am proud of his progression. He never saw how he and Owen were different until Owen was sent away and it shook his entire world, which I thought was kinda wild because did he really not see the class disadvantages between he and Owen just because they are both darkskin black men? He did the right thing in the end and I hope it works out for him. 8/10

Siddhatha- I think he is a decent person overall. He did put a FRESHMAN on the “bomb p*ssy” list just cause he didn’t want his sister to be on it but one wrong doesn’t cancel out another. He did associate with the d-bags on the swim team but I believe it’s just cause they were his relay. I, personally, have to be friendly with T*ump supporters on my team and it freaking sucks so I get what he’s going through. His struggle with his identity was definitely one we’ve seen before, with a beard girlfriend, a forceful coming out, and unsupportive parents but he had a happy ending and I really love that for him. Him and Victor are the cutest and I hope freaking Orolov gets what he deserves. 9/10

Luke- I am the biggest clown there is. I was walking around saying, “Aww, I love Luke, I want him and Joey to be together, I’m only on the first episode but I hope nothing bad happens!!!”, like a freaking idiot. But yeah, he disgusts me and I hope he and the other three rot. He really had the nerve to tell Joey SHE should be apologizing to THEM?! LIke, wtf? No, actually, what the f*ck? -1000000000000000000000000000000000000/10

George- He is absolutely disgusting for using Leila the way he did. He deserves the worst for what he did to Joey and I hope he gets what is coming to him. -1000000000000000000000000000000000000/10 

Tim- He can suck d*ck and rot for all I care,I didn’t like him from the beginning. It’s always the “nice guys”, the “feminists” who turn out to be the worst slut-shamers in history. He really got mad at Joey for being touchy-feely with Geo and Luke like she hasn’t always been this way, that’s how she shows her love and he knows that so wtf is his problem?! Oh yeah, raging misogyny. He sat there and WATCHED as Joey was being r*ped and then SLUT-SHAMED HER to the police? Let’s not forget he had THE BALLS to tell Luke and Geo they did rape her AFTER Joey left, then did coke/ whatever off his phone and begged Joey to talk to him. Absolute trash -100000000000/10

Anna- How dare you not believe your friend whom you’ve known for however many years then call her a liar and turn your back on her when she needed you the most. She’s a feminist until it comes down to her compliant, misogynistic brother then she’s right back to slut-shaming with the boys. Joey borrowed HER UNDERWEAR becuase her’s were RIPPED with BLOOD STAINS and Anna said nothing? When she asked if she needed a tampon and Joey said no HOW DID HER “BESTFRIEND” NOT CARE ENOUGH TO EVEN ASK QUESTIONS?! Same as her brother, she disgusts me and I hope she rots -100000000000/10 

Grace- how tf are you going to turn on the girl who literally fished a c*ndom out of you? Like wtf? Not only is she a slut-shamer (quite hypocritical looking back) she’s a racist!! She refused to call Leila by her name or even show her a shred of dignity just because Leila, a BABY FRESHMAN, was getting attention from George . Trash -1000000/10 

Orlov- He released Meera’s nudes and outed SId, he can choke. -1000000000/10 

Meera- I’m in love with this woman. Didn’t take bs from anyone and was only ever supportive. Called everyone out on their bs and stayed a true feminist icon while at it. 10000000000000000/10 

Let me know if you want more!! 

[ot3-watch]

Episode 1: The Nigerian Job Rewatch

Nate is so far beyond done at this point it’s hilarious. “I want to hire you” “FUCK OFF MAN I’M BUSY DRINKING MYSELF TO AN EARLY GRAVE”

“I need you to steal them back…” WTF DID YOU THINK WAS GOING TO HAPPEN VICTOR? WHAT, DID YOU THINK THE BEST INSURANCE INVESTIGATOR WASN’T GOING TO FIGURE OUT YOU WERE GOING TO DOUBLE CROSS HIM? He’s so stupid I can’t. 

“Parker is insane.” No. She just has a little trouble. Don’t DO THIS to her Nate.

“They work alone,” not for looong.

And… there it is! IYS. The most overused villains and this coming from a doctor who fan who sat through the daleks coming back EVERY SINGLE SEASON after being destroyed

Why do they all sound so weird? Like the dialogue does NOT sound normal

How tf did Eliot win in that scene tho? We see how long it takes him to fight later on like I just do not get it. ANd the tea isn’t even scathed? How? Everyone talks about The Big Bang Job’s shootout scene as being super unrealistic, but honestly, it barely registers compared to this one.

“You’re precisely why I work alone.” Yeah, because you’re at risk of falling in love otherwise Mr. Heart Eyes.

I’m remembering how much I did NOT like Parker in the beginning and I don’t like that. I love Parker but early Parker was eh.

PARKER YOU CAN’T JUST THROW THE GLASS. THAT’S EVIDENCE PARKER. YOU COULD KILL SOMEONE PARKER. SOMEONE’S GOING TO KNOW PARKER. 

You expect me to believe that Parker is a world class thief who wouldn’t think to count the haircuts? They keep making everyone else look dumber to make Nate look smarter which makes NO SENSE because honestly, it makes it hard to believe that the other three survived on their own without Nate to guide them. WHICH THEY DID! AND THEY WERE THE BEST IN THE WORLD AT WHAT THEY DID. WTF

“That’s what I do.” AKA THE MOMENT ALEC HARDISON BECOMES AN ELIOT STAN

JENNY 8675309????

 “I know you children don’t play well with others” He’s already a dad i can’t.

If they knew about this plan and had the materials to pull it off, why did no one think of it? 

ALSO HOW TF DO THEY GET THE MAKE UP ON SO QUICKLY IT DOESN'T MAKE SENSE

How did the burn scam even work? Like i get it, make him uncomfortable so he won’t ask questions but like… they thought no one was in the building? The elevators were shut down? Why did he not question it? How stupid????

The black king/white knight metaphor was honestly the worst part of the first episode like it bothers me so much and I cannot effectively come close to explaining why

Where does Nate live? Why is his place so fancy? HE’S UNEMPLOYED RIGHT NOW AND BANKRUPTED HIMSELF TRYING TO HELP SAM. “It’s a hotel,” my sister says. IN WHAT WORLD DOES THAT LOOK LIKE A HOTEL ROOM? ANd that doesn’t explain how he affords a hotel room that nice.

….Why didn’t Eliot just disarm Hardison? We know he can. I don’t get it.

If you knew the place was gonna blow, why didn’t you run Nate? WHY ARE YOU LIKE THIS NATE

Eliot’s already putting himself in danger to help Hardison up. YOUR HONOR THEY’RE IN LOVE. THEY’VE KNOWN EACH OTHER LESS THAN 24 HOURS AND THEY’RE IN LOVE.

“Do you trust me?” NO. NO NATE. NO I FUCKING DON’T.

I feel like passing that phone through the grate should not have worked.

YEAH HARDISON. MUG IT FOR THE CAMERA

Eliot’s accent I LOVE HIM “Can you hold, son?” FOREVER FOR YOU.

How are the state police so fucking stupid i can’t

They literally… they just dumb everyone down to make Nate look smarter and it SUCKS

Ah, the first Hardison safe house. 

“You won’t get within 100 yards” HE’S ELIOT FUCKING SPENCER I BET YOU ANYTHING HE CAN

“He didn’t pay us… I take that personally.” I-- Parker if you’re dead you can’t make more money. Parker? It’s important to me that you know this, Parker.

The websites they’re looking at are so obviously fake. 

Nate? Nate it’s just a picture. DUbenich can’t hear you, Nate.

“He used my son” I cannot explain how much overexposure has made me NOT CARE ABOUT FUCKING SAM

“What the hecks a Sophie” That, Eliot. That’s a Sophie. 

Honestly? My favorite character introduction in this episode. 

WHY DO THEY ALL TALK SO WEIRD IN THIS EPISODE? THEIR VOICES ARE SO OFF WHAT THE FUCK?

“I’m a citizen now. Honest.” YEAH FUCKING RIGHT IN WHAT WORLD

Eliot with the snacks, he’s always bringing food to his fam it’s amazing

“That’s an odd thing for you to know” “That’s an odd place for you to be” ...why am i reading a sexy sort of tension in there???

And Nate’s SMILING at it

Ok but how does Nate know about plane schematics? 

Sophie’s accent… none of them are that accurate but this one felt especially weird

Eliot playing the IT tech is everything

Also the reference to the IT Crowd by Parker is *chef’s kiss*

HE’S SO CUTE THOUGH

I’m just a simp for Eliot Spencer okay?

“I know you’re manipulating me, Anna.” Yeah but you’re still gonna fall for it, aren’t you? You stupid, stupid man.

Eliot’s so sweet though. He’s just trying to make friends. 

Like really though, he’s so standoffish and stoic, but the second he has the chance, he tries to bond and he’s so gregarious. Like, it makes so much sense that he has so many friends all over he place. 

“Eliot, we’re not friends,” STOP BEING AN ASSHOLE NATE. I HATE YOU NATE. HE’S JUST TRYING TO BE YOUR FRIEND NATE. 

Hardison gliding by in the wheelie chair… he’s such a goof and a mood and i love him.

...Hardison… Hardison you can hack anything… Hardison why didn’t you put them in the building directory? IT’S A DIGITAL DIRECTORY YOU COULD HAVE DONE IT THIS WAS SO UNNECESSARY

Nate, EVERYONE CAN SEE YOU!! hoW DOES HE NOT GET ARRESTED???

THERE”S A COP CAR RIGHT THERE HOW THE FUCK DID THAT WORK

...is there anyone Sophie doesn’t have sexual chemistry with in this episode? Like, seriously, i think it’s just Hardison. She and Nate are obvious, and she and Eliot have that moment, and then… did they not put them in the directory just to have Parker and Sophie make heart eyes at each other for a few seconds?

HOW DID ANYONE WATCH THIS SHOW AND EVER THINK SOPHIE AND PARKER WERE STRAIGHT THO

Dubenich sounds like Wallace Shawn and looks like Stephen Moffat and I HATE HIM. Wallace Shawn is great, and i love him but DUBENICH CAN DIE

This looks like such a boring party why would anyone want to be there. THERE’S DAY DRINKING FOR GOODNESS SAKE EWWW WHY (okay maybe i just hate alcohol. I hate it more in professional settings.)

“Sir, I can take your underpants.” OKAY HIGGINS. WEIRD FLEX BUT OKAY.

Parker and Hardison look so smug walking out of the building i love it. 

...why don’t you want the money Nate? YOU COULD GET A LOT MORE MONEY NATE. TAKE THE GODDAMNED MONEY NATE

And today on “I Will Never Understand the Way the Stock Market Works…” Like i get the basic idea but like… how do you make money if it’s gonna fall that much? HOw.. how does this work?

NO THAT IS NOT AN INVITATION TO EXPLAIN ECONOMICS TO ME I DO NOT CARE ABOUT THE STOCK MARKET

“Somebody kiss this man so I don’t have to” you will. One day, Eliot, you will. 

So, fun fact. Supposedly, their score was $32,761,349.05 each. Which doesn’t really seem like a lot of money to me? Like, at least definitely not enough for Nate to do with it what he does? Like, maybe I just have a really difficult time fathoming that much money? Like, don’t get me wrong, I’d love just a taste of that but like, also? It really seems like not so much? … And further on “This blogger does not understand budgeting.”

ELIOT JUST ADMIT YOU WANT PART OF A TEAM

WHY DOES SOPHIE SOUND SO WEIRD??? WHAT THE FUCK

Okay, also, i have a question. These people, at the end, this is their first client, right? So why does it look like they haven’t seen each other since they took down Dubenich in the homecoming job? WHAT?

The SUITS THO

OKAY FINAL THOUGHTS: 6/10. Not the best Leverage episode, and certainly not the best character episode. There were a LOT of kinks to work out. Things got sorted too well. And I REALLY HATE NATE THIS EARLY ON. I’ve also never loved the “this guy is an asshole but he’s smarter than everyone else and really good at what he does so it’s fine” trope that you see in so many shows like Leverage. And they really really dumb people down early on to make him seem smarter. But like… there’s a reason I kept watching, you know? Also... I remember why it took me a while to warm up to Parker and Sophie. LIke, they’re badass but I still took a while and I remember why. 

[ayeun]

the only person I respect in Bling Empire is Anna (spoiler alert up to ep 5)

Anna - a queen. stays in her own lane but people keep going into hers and testing her. she’s confident, genuine and nice, expects nothing in return and actually has manners. gives sound advice and wisdom and living her best life.

Kane - on thin ice. i love his unfiltered commentary and social intelligence/awareness but hate the fact he’s a shit stirrer and enables/supports bad decisions knowing the consequences. ofc, the show wouldn’t be what it is without him planting those seeds. he’s v smart on who not to cross. honestly he reminds me of some people in high school i’d never want to befriend LOL..

Kevin - big dumb hetero energies. honestly i don’t think he’s as “hot” as people make him out to be. there’s this look on his face that makes me think “oh this guy isn’t smart”, and he truly isn’t. his face KINDA reminds me of an Asian Joe Rogan lmao. i think the thing that makes him the least attractive for me is him being a horndog and making inappropriate remarks in front of Kelly AND Andrew(no sympathy for Andrew, but who tf says they’re gonna fuck someone’s gf in front of them???) the whole salsa thing was hard to watch because of how fucking CRINGEY it is of how he attempted to dip and kiss Kelly like 3+ times. get a fucking clue, dude, and give her some space?? also hate Kevin’s FAKE vibes w trying to get on everyone’s good side to keep these rich people friends in his circle. Kevin’s supposed to be relatable to the “poor audience” but Kevin has a net worth of over $10M, which is double Kelly’s. yet this mfker pretends to be poor. also him defending Anna and then quickly making it up w Kim even though she still hasn’t apologized for  the shit she did. it kind of feels like Kevin’s shooting his shot at all the “rich and hot” girls just so he has something to go off of and start a relationship w them after this all ends.

Kim - hate her. not only did she invade the space and privacy of someone who graciously INVITED HER OVER AS A GUEST, but she won’t own up to what she did wrong even when politely given the chance to. that shit’s on camera what you did, just own up to it?? also her doing shit bc “haha it’s for the camera” and chucking Anna’s shit out the window. why not just remove yourself from there, bitch? also i can’t stop looking at the bad/unnecessary contouring job on her nose and her face looking like she got an ig filter on it. girl just do ur smoky eye and call it a day. you actually look worse with contouring!!!!!! she’s also got those fake vibes and pretending everything’s cool with everyone when it’s actually not.

Kelly - sure whatever feel bad for her for being in the toxic relationship, but also this bitch leading Kevin on KNOWING that he likes her by accepting going to salsa with him and entertaining his fantasies by responding back. Just say no?? tell him to fuck off??? you’re rich you can distract yourself with thousands of other things and with other people. the feeling i get of WHY she wants to keep dating Andrew is to have that connection to a “well-known actor”, that she’s dating a celebrity, and  that he’s white “to boot”

Christine - hate her fake ass “philanthropist” shit. the reason she’s throwing these events is just to boost her social status/standing amongst the rest of the rich people and showing off her “generosity”. the whole seating drama, inviting Anna over convo was cringe all over. the name dropping and then the trivia? typical holier-than-thou attitude lmao. people who try to flex their knowledge and then not know wtf they’re talking about themselves is just EMBARRASSING. i felt bad for her one point on the getting pregnant thing but then i thought to myself. wow, fuckin bitch. hope she really does have to take care of 5 children in the future but that should be okay for her so that she can brag about having 25th generation Song Dynasty princes and princesses. also her comment towards Cherie was so awkward. “woww you guys are not married and u got kids??? id get shamed for that w my family!” ALSO Baby G’s celebration..there was a fucking ballpit that SHE PUT in there and she gets ANNOYED bc Anna, whom she invited, jumps in and has fun?? LMAO lord...

everyone else i didn’t write about i don’t really care about enough to / they didn’t have enough screen time for me to truly judge

[amphtaminedreams]

Spring/Summer & Haute Couture Week 2021: Whoops, I’ve Missed a Loooot

Hi to anyone reading,

Where TF has the time gone!?

After experiencing the longest January of all time (when your birthday is right after New Year, you get that between Boxing Day before NYE slump like a couple of weeks after everyone else), February has gone by in, like, 5 minutes and already we’re well into the throes of the F/W 2021 collection presentations. Meanwhile, I’m here like! Surprise! Here are my reviews of the S/S 2021 collections if anybody still cares! I mean I’m mashing it up with corresponding haute couture week reviews to fool everyone into thinking that doing it so many months later was intentional and it was totally working right up until this sentence, right?

In all fairness, I originally thought that I wasn’t going to bother reviewing S/S21 because it seemed kinda redundant given the circumstances and I wasn’t keen on the idea of collections being showcased via photo sets which is the route so many brands chose to (understandably) go down. Buuuut, the more I saw of what designers had put out there, the more I was tempted to put this post together and now here I am. The fact that designers are even able to churn pieces out during a pandemic when I’m out here like 0__0 no thoughts, head empty...it’s impressive to say the least, especially the way so many used the circumstances to inform their designs. In a way, it would be a disservice not to do a post on the season, and yeah it’s late, but given that it we are actually about to enter spring and the shows are kind of the deciders of what’s going to be “in” and “out”, they’re more relevant than ever. With plans for our way out of lockdown materialising-now is the perfect time to add that I don’t want ANYONE suddenly developing selective amnesia over how our government has failed us now that Boris has announced when the clubs COULD reopen-let this post serve as a roundup of every bit of inspiration available for our spring fits. I also want to use this opportunity to disclose how irritated I am at myself for starting the previous fashion week reviews post by declaring I was going to work through the designers in chronological order when I meant fucking alphabetical because I now can’t go back and change that. So this time, let me start properly. I’m going to be reviewing the collections in ALPHABETICAL order. Now that’s out the way, let’s do it. First, Acne:

It’s so great to start on a high, it really is, and fortunately Acne is reliably good. It’s still got that deconstructed, minimalist feel that the brand is known for but for the summer season; we can see creative director Jonny Johansson and his team moving away from the heavier pieces we saw last time round, away from upcycled bohemian curtains and towards a breezier, more season appropriate aesthetic, boujee kaftans and swimwear rebelliously hacked up and artfully rearranged, and it feels correct. The net pieces, the beachy colour palette, the oil spill-esque print (though this represents an intruder of the marine ecosystem, as a print I loveee it and 100% want more!) and the accessories, reminiscent of shells, coral and anything else you might find on the seabed, give me a hipster mermaid washed ashore vibe which completely fits with that rugged, mysterious sense of Nordic folklore references and adventure the brand has established as its foundation. If it’s a nod to some kind of new age cult that Johansson was going for, which apparently is the case, I’m guessing said cult worship sea goddesses and perform pagan rituals on the beach by moonlight, and though indoctrination doesn’t sound at all inviting, it's a party compared to scientology.

The chiffon trousers here are actually chic and seeing them styled under a blazer makes me realise done right they CAN be more than just a PrettyLittleThing summer sale piece, so I’ll store that away for outfit inspo when the time to get rid of some layers comes around. The glasses, too, are very Gucci. Flip flops with socks I don’t think I can ever come round to but-

Whilst it was a favourite of mine last season and it sticks to that same bohemian vibe with a lot of the elements I love, Ferretti lacks a little oomph this time round; it’s more stripped back, neutral, easy-going, and it is lovely, but for those same reasons it doesn’t grab my attention as much as the past couple of collections have. If you’re an influencer wanting to shoot a Joshua Tree desert lookbook this is sublime, but compared to the flair I saw in their last winter show, for example, there’s something lacking.

I’m very glad to see neutral coloured boiler suits on the runway, however; I snagged myself one off Depop the other week so I might be unintentionally ahead of the curve for once! The crochet detail dresses are nice too but very much remind me of past Zimmerman collections, or an Ermanno Scervino grab for the most high street friendly parts of Erdem SS2020, something along those lines. What I’m trying to say is that it’s definitely been there done that, even by Ferretti themselves and not in a continuity kinda way, in a kinda…this is basic and pretty so we know it will sell kinda way.

Eurgh, I wanna be one of these Alessandra Rich girls so bad.

I end up repeating myself every single time because I always love her collections but really, this is what a high fashion novice thinks Chanel is. Alessandra Rich outsold. As much as her dresses have looked amazing on people like Kate Middleton and January Jones, I’m just waiting for one of the modern it-girls to take the nostalgia-tinged femininity of her pieces and put some kind of daring, street-style twist on it; if that doesn’t happen I’ll gladly take 5 minutes of fame so I can do it before fading back into obscurity. Let me fulfil my modern first lady fantasy, reenact the croquet scene from Heathers, drape myself on a chaise lounge whilst smoking with a cigarette holder, and then throw me back into the trash where I belong. I can die happy. Also, can we once again appreciate how much more iconic the Alessandra Rich two piece made the already moment Dakota Johnson singlehandedly brought down the Ellen dynasty?

Dakota knew exactly what she was gonna do and the energy that she was gonna channel when she wore that piece and I admire it. Alessandra Rich, if nothing else, will go down as a key moment in pop culture history, and you know what? It’s what she deserves.

Whilst I do wish she’d branch out a little and try and get back in touch with the dark drama of old McQueen collections now and again, Sarah Burton has made a very recognisable Alexander McQueen silhouette and it’s beautiful; this season is gorgeous as always. A leather biker and tulle affair that’s perfect for a grunge ballet, it’s easy to avoid lamenting the excitement and theatrics of old collections when Sarah creates such consistently sophisticated pieces. Stunning.

Now, a quick haute couture detour with Alexandre Vauthier:

Compared to other haute couture collections, this is pretty toned down and by appearances alone (I know haute couture is more about meeting technical requirements more than anything else but there is a level of grandiose you expect to see) is more like a RTW collection than its counterparts. That being the case, I don’t have a huge amount to say about this one, though I do really like it-the ruched metallic boots especially. The Studio 54 vibes and the glam rock influences are clear and a lot of these pieces could definitely make it into Lady Gaga’s AHS Hotel wardrobe which is a compliment of the highest order, so there ya go. Plus, if a collection IS gonna be presented through stills, a format like this is preferable to some of the others I’m gonna talk about. There may be more exciting ways of doing it but simple allows us to see the clothes properly and at the end of the day, that’s what I care about the most!

Heading back to good ole’ RTW, we have Altuzarra; I wasn’t hugely keen on their last collection but this is definitely a step up for me and justifies keeping them on my radar. Though in some ways this seems like less of a summer collection and more of a late winter/early spring transitional one on the basis it can’t seem to decide which temperature its catering to, there’s a lot to like: a colour palette that reminds me of a Dion Lee collection, harnesses evocative of those sprinkled throughout the last few Alexander McQueen shows, and more of the utility wear trend that I’m still very much into nicely contrasted against lighter, airier pieces for an overall fresh, modern vibe. The interpretive dancewear style pieces are interesting and the woven platform sandals are the shoe of the summer but the white shirt with the cape incorporated is definitely the high point of this show and I absolutely adore it.

Anna Sui was actually pretty cute this time round. Her pieces have always been kooky, but in the past a little too lairy and occasionally cheap-looking for me. This collection, however, is kooky in more of a Melanie Martinez styled baby doll kinda way, as opposed to in an eccentric Bjork loving aunt whose idea of heaven is an all-must-go Primark sale kinda way (I know some people are going to vehemently disagree with my aesthetic preference there) and I love that. There seems to be a lot more creative direction going on, a much clearer vision of what Sui wanted to achieve, and yes a few of the looks went a bit too hard on the cookie cutter vibes but on the whole, they were more edited than usual; it seems Sui actually paid attention to the “take one thing off before you leave the house” rule this time. The staging is the perfect compliment to the doily style bucket hats and the sandals paired with frilly socks, and really adds to the whimsy of the collection, and as a whole, it really reminds me a lot of the way my mum would dress me as a toddler but styled up for a grown adult. Cute AF.

Armani RTW I was pleasantly surprised by, considering I don’t usually rate it. It’s a cool, androgynous take on retro shapes and styles that’s simultaneously fit for the hustle and bustle of the modern world. Strong 2021 Peggy Olsen vibes, and a bit muted Lacoste-I can 100% imagine Elisabeth Moss as Peggy swanning around in one of those huge minimalist houses with the floor to ceiling windows after a long day at work, though we’ll switch the cigarette for a vape because...you know...welcome to the future. And sure, maybe the vision is slightly influenced by THAT scene from Us, but whatever. As for the men’s wear, if I have to look through an endless gallery of straight white men in plain ass suits every time I do some kind of red carpet fashion review, I at least hope they’re wearing Armani. I need me some impeccable tailoring to soften the blow.

I do wonder, however, how the clothes would look on plus size models. I feel like it’s a collection that’s very catered to a person who is straight up and down, and it feels like a bit of an easy cop out not to have any kind of versatility. Say what you want about Christian Siriano but he caters to all body types very well.

I actually quite liked Armani’s haute couture collection too; the pops of colour and the intricate embroidery give me what I’ll later talk about missing from Valentino haute couture. There were still some of the frumpier pieces that I usually associate Armani with but also a lot of Great Gatsby-esque looks that I really enjoyed.

Returning to RTW, Ashish was amazing. I LOVE that there’s always some kind of unique print (this time round, kitschy illustrations) and whilst a whole maxi swan print dress may not be the most wearable for the majority of us, Ashish Gupta does bold and innovative really well. There were a few boring striped pieces in there but I adore the one shouldered butterfly print dress and I NEED that Hail Satan jumper; it reminds me a lot of something by sustainable fashion brand Minga, which is one of my absolute fave websites to buy from when I’m treating myself to some new clothes.

Azarro’s haute couture collection is full of supreme awards show afterparty fits, and I was shook to find out that Olivier Theyskens is the brand’s creative director! My newfound obsession with his pieces really had me like :O when I realised he was behind Azarro too. I loved their collection last time round, though this I’m finding a bit harder to give much analysis on because of the way it’s shot; whilst it could be a YSL perfume Vogue ad, which is obviously far from a bad thing, it comes at the cost of lacking visual clarity. That being said, from what I can see, Theyskens once again masterfully channels the wardrobe of the effortlessly cool, messy haired, smudged eye make up rock ‘n roll girl, and I think that’s someone we all want to be.

Balenciaga RTW was an interesting one for me-on first inspection, I was kinda disappointed. Without the usual drama of the bold, exaggerated silhouettes and the theatrical production of their shows, I felt it was missing a bit of the magic I’ve come to expect from them. The streetwear elements infused throughout, a departure from their typical pieces, was very hit and miss; the shearling slip-ons in particular were not my thing at all. I’d be admiring some beautiful gothic dress and then my eyes would slide down and see those monstrosities and it would bring the whole thing down a notch or two, despite bad shoes being something I can typically overlook if I otherwise enjoy the rest of the outfit. My initial conclusion: that the Balenciaga Myrtle Snow would choose as her last words this collection.

However, upon re-evaluation when typing this post up properly and knowing what to expect, I like the collection a lot. I’m getting a bit of a Seoul streetwear vibe from it, and I can appreciate that although it is a lot more trend focussed, it’s got an edgy, daring quality to it, with a lot of androgynous, utility wear elements on show. I loveee the Balenciaga chokers too and in my wildest dreams would get my hands on one before it goes the way of the Gucci belt and gets overdone and flaunted by social media influencers as a show of wealth to the point of tackiness.

At Balmain the sculpted body armour made a comeback but on this occasion, not in a way that I liked, and there war far too many neons for my taste too. No matter how many times it rears its ugly head, I find it hard to get on board because as a colour palette I can’t help but associate with Claire’s Accessories circa 2007-it has to be SO well done to avoid looking cheap, imo, and these Balmain pieces weren’t good enough for me to go against that gut aversion. A collection with 100+ looks isn’t usually a good sign and expecting Olivier Rousteing to achieve the impossible and manage to do both quality and quantity is a recipe for disaster; it’s a shame because his last collection was so original and yet this one feels like a cheaper looking rip off of other brands. It was just a bawdy display of 80s overkill IMO and if I can only find 8 outfits to include out of 100 that’s clearly not a good sign.

Bottega Veneta is a brand that the high fashion side of the internet loves that I can never 100% get on board with; I get it, they’re behind the gorgeous square toed heels, but other than that none of their collections have ever really wowed me. The chunky knitted pieces are very Miu Miu style futuristic grandma chic and as someone on the cusp of being either a millennial or gen Z (depending on which website you visit) it’s got me outfit planning for my retirement years. Utilising so much wool for a summer collection, however, seems like a choice because can you IMAGINE wearing a heavy knit in blazing sun; I almost didn’t include the collection to be honest but then every so often something really cute came long, and one of the signature crisp, classic BV pieces would be done well and so I felt I had to. Am I missing something given all the hype here? IDK tbh.

Burberry? Meh. You could also call this collection how many ways can I do a trench coat, with results of differing quality; occasionally the mix match of styles worked and I saw the deconstructed outerwear concept that Ricardo Tisci was presumably trying to go for, though it can’t come as much of a surprise that the combination of a trench, denim and leather jacket was mostly just messy and came off as a last ditch attempt to make the classic coat more interesting by just chucking other fabrics at it and seeing what stuck.

One thing I will say is that there were some really sick prints going on-the snakes in particular-and it was those prints that were really the saving grace of the collection; as I said with regards to Ashish, I like it when you can tell a brand has gone out of their way to experiment with patterns and actually incorporate illustration and graphic design into their pieces. Prints notwithstanding, though, it wasn’t a memorable collection and I really can’t wait for the day we put this whole multiple denim jean waistband trend to bed once and for all; in the wise words of Regina George “stop drying to make multiple waist bands happen. They’re not going to happen.”.

Carolina Herrera was just as I expected. Whilst Wes Gordon was a little more daring with the structure of the pieces than usual, you can still he’s still committed to designing for the wealthy, modestly dressed socialite (yes I’m talking about Tinsley Mortimer and yes, I have recently become obsessed with Real Housewives) and her insatiable need to collect more charity gala gowns than she’ll ever possibly have opportunities to wear in her time on this earth. Sounds like a great life, sure, but it’s not like it gets my heart racing when I see the looks on the runway. The most memorable piece for sure was double breasted blazer w the asymmetric ruffle; I haven’t seen anything like it in a RTW collection in recent memory.

Now onto the fucking train wreck that was Celine RTW.

It’s not even bad for a runway fashion show, it’s just like…straight-up bad. Like Hedi Slimane went back in time to 2013, took a bunch of models into my local Topshop (and I have to clarify my local Topshop rather than the flagship Oxford Circus store-RIP-because to do the same in the latter would produce far better results), picked up some cheap basics, switched the lights off, and then, finally, dressed them in the dark. There’s very few positive comments I can make so I’m just going to move on.

Chanel RTW I actually didn’t hate as much this season; maybe it’s because coming from Celine, my standards are like, on the floor, but it’s slightly better than usual. Whilst most of it was same old same old, the opening 10 or so looks and then from 40 onwards were alright. The colour contrast pieces were classic Chanel in a good way, that is to say somewhat modernised and appealing to a younger clientele as opposed to the elderly women who still see a boucle jacket as the height of fashion. The mini chiffon capes were also cute, and if it weren’t for COVID putting pause on everything I can see the Chanel headband being duped ad infinitum.

The worst part of the collection was without a doubt the pieces with the neon logo print, which I wish I could erase from my mind. At this point, with Virginie Viard seemingly refusing to make any attempt to reinvent the brand, Chanel is best when it’s subtle; that way it appeals to those regular customers who rely on the prestige of the garment and the new generation of consumers who are further branching out into experimenting with their personal style and want a quality base. But who I ask are these tacky ass pieces aimed at? Because though it appears to be an attempt to infuse a kind of youthful spirit into Chanel, it is very out of touch with what gen Z actually like, and I can’t imagine any rich old white ladies buying them either. Big shoulder shrug.

Whilst I tend to find Chanel’s haute couture collections a bit better than their RTW, this is probably on par. Still rather meh and frumpy at times, but there were some pretty, whimsical pieces in there that were definitely elevated by the staging which, I must say, was very dreamy. I’ve enjoyed the last couple of haute couture shows a lot more (the one with the library set was v cool), which were comparatively restrained with the frivolous details and the chintz, so this seems a step back. The dresses with the 50s Audrey Hepburn for Miss Dior style silhouette are lovely but obviously, as per the reference, nothing new.

Onto something much more exciting, we have Charlotte Knowles’ RTW collection, whose work has made her one to watch. I’m not as huge a fan of this as her last instalment, but Knowles’ (who I recently found out only just graduated from Central Saint Martins, making her achievements all the more impressive) continues to create clothes for a girl far cooler than myself; I know, that wouldn’t be hard, but we’re talking like, miles cooler. One of those women who can literally pull anything off and immediately make you want to try it yourself even though 9 times out of 10 that would be a bad idea-I could probably take, like, one piece and make it work but anything more would most likely just be me embarrassing myself. You wouldn’t think San Fransisco psychedelic summer of love motifs would mesh with futuristic Mad Max style biker vibes but Charlotte and her partner Alexandre Arsenault make it sexy AF, like a combo that was always meant to be. They are a dream team.

And lastly for this post, we have another collection I really liked: Chloe. Sadly Natacha Ramsay-Levi’s last collection for the brand, she truly went out on a high note, with a reliably gorgeous iteration of her sophisticated take on bohemian style. Who now, will we look to when we want to cosplay as one of the Jessas from Girls of the world? When we want to pretend we’re a rich, party girl socialite backpacking across Western Europe (along the foothills of Mount Tibidabo…) on a commissioned trip to “find herself” for the fashion magazine column she’s writing, whilst we’re actually on a budget family holiday in Spain? When we can’t decide if we’re dressing like a modern day Rachel Green or Phoebe Buffay and say fuck it, I’m gonna do both? I mean sure, I could never afford Chloe anyway and sure, I’m interested to see what Gabriela Hearst can do with the brand, which despite its loveliness is quite predictable, but it’s definitely sad to see Ramsay-Levi go when she has become a reliable source of elegance and class each season. She brings a quietly confident brand of femininity to the fashion world where the high profile design houses are increasingly dominated by men who are sometimes too focussed on being bold and brash enough to be hailed as the newest design visionary, and I have huge respect for that. She will be missed.

Now it feels right to end the post here, given that I just finished with a kind of dramatic memoriam for a woman who is very much still alive and given that I would really be playing with fire by trying to push Tumblr’s edit post feature any further, so I’ll wrap it up for now. In part 2, which will hopefully be out over the next couple of weeks, we’ll be looking at a surprisingly strong haute couture collection from (can’t believe I’m about to say this) Maria Grazia as well as some of my faves, Etro, Dion Lee, Gucci, and of course Iris Van Herpen’s haute couture. In the meantime, I’m hoping to get a post out on my favourite sustainable clothing brands and to shoot my take on the “what I would wear sat front row at X” video trend that’s been going around lately on TikTok and Instagram reels, which I know I am kinda late to the party with.

I’m also looking at starting “photo dump” posts where I basically just substitute what I would be putting on my Instagram feed as photo posts on here, all the way back to when I first started my fashion Instagram account. I know this is hardly a hot take, but Instagram has really gone to shit, and once I’ve moved all my photos from there to here, I’m probably going to be deleting my account and just keep my private personal one. I’m sick of the endless scrolling past photos of people edited to the point of being unrecognisable and of seeing faces that all conform to that exact same Eurocentric beauty standard with the exact same surgical procedures to the point that even I, as a thin, white cis girl feel disgusting (so god knows how others without my privilege feel) because I don’t have a fucking fox eye lift or whatever it is that internet famous surgeons are telling us we need for our faces to fit the “golden ratio” at the moment. I am OVERRR all the promoted posts from people who preach social awareness and equality and authenticity and kindness making money off promoting companies that rely on slave labour rather than those who make me feel uplifted and inspired. And I am VERY MUCH done with scrolling through share for share and like for like pages because I am embarrassed by the fact that my likes don’t match up to my follower count since that must mean that NOBODY LIKES ME AND EVERYONE HATES MY FACE, right!? Even though I’d like to think that mentality was something I grew out of a long time ago. Instagram, much like Facebook before it (which is no surprise since the latter now owns the former), has just become another cesspit of an app which exists solely to convince you to buy new clothes and follow the latest filler trend and blow money on holidays you can’t afford to convince everyone you’re living the good life. Like many others, I have finally come to the conclusion that the way Instagram operates now is nothing but detrimental to my wellbeing. So, all that being said, I’m moving my feed over here, to a place where I can just arrange my silly little photos into silly little collages and not care if I’m shouting into the void by doing so because they’re just a screenshot of my life that I can look back on in however many years time and think Oh, Cool! That’s What I Was Interested In Back Then! That Outfit is Timeless! Or That One Was a HUGE FUCKING MISTAKE! Because I do love the creative element of Instagram, turning your feed into a collage, picking out which colours compliment each other, posting your favourite art and your outfits and the makeup looks you’re proud of, the beautiful sights you’ve seen-I just hate how unbridled capitalism and unrealistic social expectations have once again destroyed a good thing, and caused it to stray so far from its original vision of connecting people. Here, I don’t care if I get 0 interactions on those kinds of posts, because I am putting stuff out there I am proud of that expresses who I am and that interests me, and when I put a lot of hard ass work into something that’s actually important or that benefits others in some way as opposed to indulging my own vanity, it does get some circulation and I hope that it does make a positive difference, regardless of how small. I hope it doesn’t bother anyone too much seeing my initial photo dump posts on their dashboard as I try and catch up to where I am now; you’ll probs see a mini influx of 2015 fashion and I’m sorry about that! But I don’t *think* it will be too long until I’m up to date and then the photo dump posts will be much less regular.

Anyway, sorry about the Instagram rant there at the end! If you read all the way til the end, this is a  huuuuge thank you! I hope you enjoyed the post and I will get the next one out ASAP, potentially with a few posts in between. As always, feel free to inbox me if there’s anything you wanted to talk about or suggest and make sure you stay safe. There may finally be some light at the end of the tunnel:D

With a cautious dose of optimism, and the acknowledgement that I will most likely regret saying this: bring on June the 21st UK gals!

Lauren x

[yoreh]

Why I don’t want Elsa to get a girlfriend in Frozen 2

And no, it’s not the reason you think.

Time to spill some... ice tea...

First of all, I’d like to point out I am a lesbian. Even though being part of the LGBTQ+ community doesn’t exclude you from being obnoxious, I think this is still a green flag that my post isn’t lesbophobic. I’m not going to list down why it’d be bad to have queer representation in a Disney movie. But I want to explain why I’m not too keen on the idea of Elsa, specifically, getting a gf.

The only reason why Elsa would be the best pick to get a gf, is because Frozen is a cash cow franchise. Disney knows it’s the safest choice. If they make an entirely new movie about a lesbian princess, they risk it becomes a flop (which I doubt tho, but you know how big companies are when it comes to ‘controversial topics). Aside from that, I assume Disney just want some sweet points for being inclusive.

Anyhow, here are my reasons:

1) Giving Elsa a gf, or even just a tiny hint at her being lesbian, will likely cancel out any chance of getting a movie that focuses on a queer lead any time soon. Tbh, this applies to all minorities, but I feel like Disney just has a checklist of what they still need to represent in their franchise. After they did, they’ll just pat themselves on the back being like: “Ahh yes. We’re so progressive.” Mulan is the proof of this. There was no reason to put Mulan in the Disney princess line, other than the fact that she was Asian. As much as I adore Mulan, I’d much rather see her in a line of kickass/warrior woman with characters like princess Kida. It just feels like Mulan was shoehorned in there because Disney was like: “Yeah but we already made a movie with an Asian girl in the lead... You’re expecting us to??? make?? another?? one???” Like sure, I’m glad Mulan gets the attention and love she deserves, but it saddens me she’s just used for commercial reasons. Why I bring up Mulan, is because it doesn’t seem like Disney is interested in producing another princess(like) movie with an Asian princess any time soon. And the same applies to any race other than white. Sure, race and sexuality are two complete different things, but we’re talking about representation here. I’d love to see a princess falling in love with her maid or something. Idk.

2) The strength of Elsa’s character is that she’s an independent woman. Putting her in a relationship could possible undermine that. A lot of movies keep on pushing this narrative that ‘getting the girl’, ‘having a relationship’, etc. is the ultimate goal. I feel like a lot of people are intoxicated with the thought that having no relationship means you’re a social failure.  Elsa achieved a whole lot (with the help of her sister, ofc) and developed throughout the movie. She grew from this insecure girl, into a woman, capable of ruling a kingdom. One of the great things about Elsa was that she didn’t need a man. If they’d give her a girlfriend, they’re indirectly excusing the fact she had no interest in males. It’s hard to put this into proper words, but “oh, she’s a lesbian. That explains why she has no interest in me” is a pretty common, and toxic logic used by a lot of people, especially men. For some reason, people fail to understand that not wanting a relationship or turning down a guy, is normal and common.  It erases the idea that Elsa didn’t need to rely on romance. And again, it pushes the narrative that romance is the pinnacle of a story.  Sure, you could argue that Elsa’s arc was about her learning to open up to people and being true to her feelings. If you see it that way, sure, I get why you’d want her to get a gf. I’m sorry, I had a hard time to put this into words, so if you happen to read this and you can help me out, or discuss what I just said, feel free to do so.

3) I think it’d be just really cool to see an independent movie about a lesbian princess. Come on. Imagine this movie about a princess who has to marry prince charming. He’s rich, handsome, heck, he’s even nice. But for some reason it just doesn’t sit right with her. And at first she doesn’t really understand why AND YOU GET IT OK. Heck, I don’t even think it should be focused on romance. 

4) One of the reasons why Frozen is that strong was because it focused on a non-romantic relationship for once. Yeah, sure it has this entire Hanz x Anna x Kristoff thing going on and it’s funny that the entire focus on siblings was a semi-coincidence, but that doesn’t change the fact that most people praised Frozen for focusing on siblings rather than love. (Not that it was the first time Disney pulled that off *cough Lilo and Stitch* *cough Brother Bear*, but I digress)/

5) Disney’s sequels are infamous for being... Not that good. I don’t want the first proper queer rep to be badly written. This one is very self-explanatory I guess.

6) I’d much rather see Pixar handling a lesbian princess. Doesn’t need too much explanation. I just feel like Pixar is better at characterization that’s all.

7) I’m just scared this’ll end up in some pretty bad queer-baiting.

8) Elsa is ‘the safe pick’. Like stop being cowards Disney.

In conclusion

IF Elsa turns out to get a girlfriend, I won’t complain too much. At the end it’s still representation and that makes me happy. Despite me wanting something else, at the end of the day, I’ll still be grateful.

At the end I’m just a whiny kid who has no influence on whatever tf Disney decides to do.

But hey, if Elsa ends up getting a girlfriend, they better make her bloody awesome so she and Elsa can slay like true queens.

Thanks for coming to my TED talk

[charmerofbees]

im bored at lunch and doing this bye

WHAT IS YOUR FULL NAME? Elaine ******* ********* who tf puts their whole name on the internet??

2. WHAT IS YOUR NICKNAME? Laine, Lainey, Eli

3. BIRTHDAY? Feb 27

4. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE BOOK SERIES?  Um Lady of the rivers/white queen/red queen/white princess by phillipa gregory

5. DO YOU BELIEVE IN ALIENS OR GHOSTS? both absolutely

6. WHO IS YOUR FAVORITE AUTHOR? tom robbins and david sedaris and toni morrison. a lot more but those are top three that are drastically different

7. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE RADIO STATION? the only one i listen to is a local alt rock, other than that i listen to my own perfectly curated spotify playlists 

8. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE FLAVOR OF ANYTHING? uhhh lavender or salt n vinegar lmao

9. WHAT WORD WOULD YOU USE OFTEN TO DESCRIBE SOMETHING GREAT OR WONDERFUL? abso fab

10. WHAT IS YOUR CURRENT FAVORITE SONG? deadcrush by alt j

11. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE WORD? reveille

12. WHAT WAS THE LAST SONG YOU LISTENED TO? cornflake girl - florence and the machine cover

13. WHAT TV SHOW WOULD YOU RECOMMEND FOR EVERYBODY TO WATCH?

MAD MEN even tho matthew weiner die, schitts creek, the office only bc you wont get any memes if you dont, SHARP OBJECTS SHARP OBJECTS SHARP OBJECTS and also the sinner season 1

14. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE MOVIE TO WATCH WHEN YOU’RE FEELING DOWN?  when harry met sally

15. DO YOU PLAY VIDEO GAMES? just the sims and when im with my friends ill play what they play

16. WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST FEAR? a stranger breaking in to my house or like a ghost idk

17. WHAT IS YOUR BEST QUALITY, IN YOUR OPINION? i dont judge anyone bc i just dont care what other people do as long as its not harming others. so ive been told im a good person to confide in

18. WHAT IS YOUR WORST QUALITY, IN YOUR OPINION? for sureeeee my need to be right at all times

19. DO YOU LIKE CATS OR DOGS BETTER? my cat is the best living creature, but other than him, dogs

20. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE SEASON? summer i need to feel the sun radiating my bones to feel alive

21. ARE YOU IN A RELATIONSHIP? abso not

22. WHAT IS SOMETHING YOU MISS FROM YOUR CHILDHOOD? my childood dog and no bills

23. WHO IS YOUR BEST FRIEND? her name is hailey, my sister and i met her when i was 5 and they were 6 and we’ve been inseparable ever since

24. WHAT IS YOUR EYE COLOR? blue

25. WHAT IS YOUR HAIR COLOR? ash blonde

26. WHO IS SOMEONE YOU LOVE? my sister

27. WHO IS SOMEONE YOU TRUST? my sister and all of my friends

28. WHO IS SOMEONE YOU THINK ABOUT OFTEN? my 12 year old half brother

29. ARE YOU CURRENTLY EXCITED ABOUT/FOR SOMETHING? get to go to baltimore this weekend for a museum trip

30. WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST OBSESSION? honestly rn sims 4...its like therapy for me lmao. and my cat. 

31. WHAT WAS YOUR FAVORITE TV SHOW AS A CHILD? i barely watched tv as a child....probs the wild thornberries

32. WHO OF THE OPPOSITE GENDER CAN YOU TELL ANYTHING TO, IF ANYONE? my other best friends john and tyler. we’ve been friends for 16 years 

33. ARE YOU SUPERSTITIOUS? yeah catch me practicing all safeguards 

34. DO YOU HAVE ANY UNUSUAL PHOBIAS? misophobia/phonia

35. DO YOU PREFER TO BE IN FRONT OF THE CAMERA OR BEHIND IT? either idc

36. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE HOBBY? not really a hobbie but im v passionate about tarot cards. and i do yoga every morning

37. WHAT WAS THE LAST BOOK YOU READ? their eyes were watching god

38. WHAT WAS THE LAST MOVIE YOU WATCHED? when harry met sally 

39. WHAT MUSICAL INSTRUMENTS DO YOU PLAY, IF ANY? used to play piano but i stopped in high school

40. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE ANIMAL? dogs

41. WHAT ARE YOUR TOP 5 FAVORITE TUMBLR BLOGS THAT YOU FOLLOW? thestateonmtv, theocseason4, thehauntedmansion2003....idk any more i check those 3 a lot bc theyre good comic relief

42. WHAT SUPERPOWER DO YOU WISH YOU HAD? invisibility

43. WHEN AND WHERE DO YOU FEEL MOST AT PEACE? i loooove my room. also a small abandoned beach called claiborne.

44. WHAT MAKES YOU SMILE? anything my idiot cat does, tv shows, when i mreally depressed i listen to my brother my brother and me because its mindless

45. WHAT SPORTS DO YOU PLAY, IF ANY? i mean i played volleyball for 3 years BUT i did ballet and modern dance (w some jazz sometimes) for 16 years so that took up almost all of my free time

46. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE DRINK? water, green apple kombucha, an oatmilk latte

47. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU WROTE A HAND-WRITTEN LETTER OR NOTE TO SOMEBODY? today on a birthday card

48. ARE YOU AFRAID OF HEIGHTS? a little

49. WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST PET PEEVE? when ppl chew loud it makes me wanna die. 

50. HAVE YOU EVER BEEN TO A CONCERT? omg tons are you for real lmao

51. ARE YOU VEGAN/VEGETARIAN? uhhh a weird mix of no dairy and no meat but i eat seafood? bc im on the east coast in maryland so you basically have to here

52. WHEN YOU WERE LITTLE, WHAT DID YOU WANT TO BE WHEN YOU GREW UP? a lot of things

53. WHAT FICTIONAL WORLD WOULD YOU LIKE TO LIVE IN? shiiiit idk

54. WHAT IS SOMETHING YOU WORRY ABOUT? the future

55. ARE YOU SCARED OF THE DARK? yep

56. DO YOU LIKE TO SING? yes but im not great at it despite having like 10 years training lmao

57. HAVE YOU EVER SKIPPED SCHOOL? in high school i skipped like 50 days a year lmao. in college i was better but def used all of my sick days

58. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE PLACE ON THE PLANET? the beach, or st andrews by the sea in new brunswick

59. WHERE WOULD YOU LIKE TO LIVE? summer in st andrews by the sea, somewhere warm and beachy the rest of the time

60. DO YOU HAVE ANY PETS? my cat, and at my moms house another cat and a dog, my dad has a dog a horse and a raccoon (?) but i dont go there alot

61. ARE YOU MORE OF AN EARLY BIRD OR A NIGHT OWL? i guess early bird but i love sleep

62. DO YOU LIKE SUNRISES OR SUNSETS BETTER? sunsets

63. DO YOU KNOW HOW TO DRIVE? yes 

64. DO YOU PREFER EARBUDS OR HEADPHONES? earbuds

65. HAVE YOU EVER HAD BRACES? for six years i hated my life

66. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE GENRE OF MUSIC? alternative and classic rock. also i love jazz and blues

67. WHO IS YOUR HERO? i dont have one

68. DO YOU READ COMIC BOOKS? i loved the archie comics as a child...thats why i unabashadly love riverdale

69. WHAT MAKES YOU THE MOST ANGRY? close minded people

70. DO YOU PREFER TO READ ON AN ELECTRONIC DEVICE OR WITH A REAL BOOK? a real book

71. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE SUBJECT IN SCHOOL? art history in college, english in high school

72. DO YOU HAVE ANY SIBLINGS? 2 step brothers, 2 ex step brothers (Were still close), a full sister, and a half brother

73. WHAT WAS THE LAST THING YOU BOUGHT? a latte maker and hair dye

74. HOW TALL ARE YOU? 5’ 9″

75. CAN YOU COOK? yes but i hate cleaning pots

76. WHAT ARE THREE FOUR THINGS THAT YOU LOVE? my cat, lattes, music, my bed

77. WHAT ARE THREE THINGS THAT YOU HATE? uhhhh idk 

78. DO YOU HAVE MORE FEMALE FRIENDS OR MORE MALE FRIENDS? almost an even split

79. WHAT IS YOUR SEXUAL ORIENTATION? i dont really label myself but its definitely fluid

80. WHERE DO YOU CURRENTLY LIVE? maryland

81. WHO WAS THE LAST PERSON YOU TEXTED? one of my group chats

82. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU CRIED? ugh on monday in therapy

83. WHO IS YOUR FAVORITE YOUTUBER? i dont really have one

84. DO YOU LIKE TO TAKE SELFIES? almost never

85. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE APP? uhhh instagram and huji

86. WHAT IS YOUR RELATIONSHIP WITH YOUR PARENT(S) LIKE? yikes lets not lol

87. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE FOREIGN ACCENT? mmmm spanish or like...portugese

88. WHAT IS A PLACE THAT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO, BUT YOU WANT TO VISIT? mykonos 

89. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE NUMBER? 86

90. CAN YOU JUGGLE? no

91. ARE YOU RELIGIOUS? no

92. DO YOU FIND OUTER SPACE OR THE DEEP OCEAN TO BE MORE INTERESTING? deep ocean bc its like... right there

93. DO YOU CONSIDER YOURSELF TO BE A DAREDEVIL? for like 2 years i would accept any dare anyone gave me....until i jumped off a bridge and cracked my ankle. so not anymore haha

94. ARE YOU ALLERGIC TO ANYTHING? an ingredient in contacts and pink eye medication

95. CAN YOU CURL YOUR TONGUE? no

96. CAN YOU WIGGLE YOUR EARS? no

97. HOW OFTEN DO YOU ADMIT THAT YOU WERE WRONG ABOUT SOMETHING? if im actually wrong i will

98. DO YOU PREFER THE FOREST OR THE BEACH? Beach

99. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE PIECE OF ADVICE THAT ANYONE HAS EVER GIVEN YOU? no one is thinking about/judging you as much as you think they are

100. ARE YOU A GOOD LIAR? yes but i dont use it often

101. WHAT IS YOUR HOGWARTS HOUSE? uh idk or care tbh 

102. DO YOU TALK TO YOURSELF? very infrequently

103. ARE YOU AN INTROVERT OR AN EXTROVERT? god the most introverted

104. DO YOU KEEP A JOURNAL/DIARY? i loosely keep a tarot journal

105. DO YOU BELIEVE IN SECOND CHANCES? depends on the situation but almost always, no

106. IF YOU FOUND A WALLET FULL OF MONEY ON THE GROUND, WHAT WOULD YOU DO? return it

107. DO YOU BELIEVE THAT PEOPLE ARE CAPABLE OF CHANGE? sure

108. ARE YOU TICKLISH? yes

109. HAVE YOU EVER BEEN ON A PLANE? yeah its so weird to me that some people have been haha

110. DO YOU HAVE ANY PIERCINGS? SO when i turned 18 i got lik 7 extra piercings on my ears...they all closed up so now i have my OG two

111. WHAT FICTIONAL CHARACTER DO YOU WISH WAS REAL? anna karenina i think wed be friends

112. DO YOU HAVE ANY TATTOOS? no

113. WHAT IS THE BEST DECISION THAT YOU’VE MADE IN YOUR LIFE SO FAR? staying home for a year and going to community college when my step dad was dying

114. DO YOU BELIEVE IN KARMA? yes totally

115. DO YOU WEAR GLASSES OR CONTACTS? glasses

116. DO YOU WANT CHILDREN? yes 3 girls

117. WHO IS THE SMARTEST PERSON YOU KNOW? my friend kenna

118. WHAT IS YOUR MOST EMBARRASSING MEMORY? why the fuck would i say it here

119. HAVE YOU EVER PULLED AN ALL-NIGHTER? yes bc of anxiety

120. WHAT COLOR ARE MOST OF YOU CLOTHES? black

121. DO YOU LIKE ADVENTURES? love ‘em

122. HAVE YOU EVER BEEN ON TV? yes 

123. HOW OLD ARE YOU? 23

124. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE QUOTE?  “unable to perceive the shape of you, i find you all around me. your presence fills my eyes with your love. it humbles my heart, for you are everywhere” from the shape of water

125. DO YOU PREFER SWEET OR SAVORY FOODS? savory but i love a good fruit

[letmehearyoufuckiingpray]

 |

GENERAL

Name: miranda tiffany elise

Alias(es): queen cannabis, randa, legs

Gender: female

Age: 24.

Date of Birth: setember 26, 1994

Place of Birth: on a flight from russia to boston, mass.

Hometown: boston, mass

Spoken Languages: russian, english, spanish, german 

Romantic Preference: heteroromantic / biromanic

Sexual Preference: heterosexual mostly, but can also be pansexual

Occupation: drug dealer, crime lord, supermodel, recording artist, professional criminal

APPEARANCE

Eye Color: lavender, but her left eye has a tiny of light baby blue in sunlight / bright indoor lights

Hair Color: nearly white platinum blonde

Height: 5’11″

Scars: surprisingly ( even to the mun ) none

Burns: slight ( now a pink-ribbon scarred burn ) burn on both her thumbs from lighters

Over Weight: hell no.

Under Weight: hell yeah.

FAVORITE

Color: black, shiny / real gold, white, red

Hair Color: hers, and dyed gray+lavender on women; dirty blonde and dark brown / black on men

Eye Color: hers, and baby blues on females; baby blue, light green, and chocolate on men

Song:  “rockstar” by post malone ft. 21 savage, “acquainted” by the weeknd, “mine real” by bodega bamz, or “alpha omega / spotlight / gone” by machine gun kelly.

Movie:  “the social network” probably, she ain’t have time for movies tbh

T.V. Show:  “workaholics”, “american horror story”, and “keeping up with the kardashians” 

                     ( LITERALLY JUST because she likes looking at kylie since that’s her teen!verse 

                       FC, and because they live extremely similar lives material-wise, bc she a certified,

                       put a stamp on it ass chach )

Food:  steak diane, strawberry + cream cheese crepes / nutella strawberry crepes, pizza ( from the pizza hut $20 box’s pizza specifically ), and tiramisu

Drink:  vanilla coke, water from melted ice, pink kinky, whipped cream / birthday cake / caramel pinnacle, peppermint bark absolut ( seasonal drink, the “christmas rager”, if you will )

Book:  she don’t fuckin read dude like come tf on bitch

HAVE YOU

Passed A Levels/APs: i have no idea what this means ??

Passed University: nope

Had sex: she’s the best anyone will ever have ( so yeah )

Had sex in public: yep

Gotten pregnant: dependent on verse

Kissed a boy: yep

Kissed a girl: y e p

Gotten tattoos: nahhhhh ( yes bitch she’s c o v e r e d except on her legs and feet [ but has a 

                           thigh tattoo of a garter with a gat tucked in ] )

Gotten piercings: y e p

Had a broken heart: y    e   p

Been in love: yep

Stayed up for more than 24 hours: oh absolutely ( see: -rick james on chappelle’s show voice-

                                                            “cocaine’s a hell of a drug” )

ARE YOU

A Virgin: LOL

A Cuddler: only if she does it first, if a guy / chick ( that’s not her boyfriend / girlfriend ) tries to

                   curdle up to her she gets mad uncomfortable

A Kisser: sure

Scared Easily: fuck no

Jealous Easily: not jealous, territorial 

Trustworthy: depends on who you are tbh

Dominant: to the world / her customers / other females in the streets,

Submissive: she is probably THE most SUBMISSIVE ass bitch you’ll ever see in your L I F E in the sheets

In love: dependent on verse but probably 

Single: Verse-dependent but mostly taken

RANDOM QUESTIONS

Have you harmed yourself: yep.

Thought of suicide: yep.

Attempted suicide: y e p.

Wanted to kill someone: wanted ??? hahahaha-- i mean, -clears throat- what ??

Drove a car: no shit bruh

Have/had a job: uh yeah

Have any fears: change “have” to “had”, then, yep.

FAMILY

Sibling(s): twin brother nicozvkoff ( last time she’d seen him was when her father took off with

                   him, leavinga 13 year old miranda to fend for herself; this is what started her drug

                    dealing career &&* addiction issues )

Parents: Anna &&* Nikolay Elise

Significant Other: verse dependent and fc dependent ( but if I HAD to choose for her main, it

                               would PROLLY be either with @sadscngs’ vitaly, or @bcooperfame’s 

                                 ( nameless ) mgk, @bcooperfame’s ( nameless ) adam levine fc, or

                                  @lacedrhapsody​​‘s paris / heather / priscilla )

Children: none ( yet )

Pets: purebred french bulldog puppy, “sunny”, and purebred ragdoll kitten, “mary jane”

[nudenailandbeautybar-blog]

Girls who need it more....

Minds out the gutters ladies, we’re talking nails! We’ve all been there - Anna always got a nail broken, versus Polly perfectly preened, having no idea why you need an infill every 2 weeks, and she’s chip free weeks later on just a gel polish.

Sorry to break it to you girls, some of it’s just luck, some of it unavoidable, and a lot of it is aftercare!

Let’s start with luck, and by luck, we mean your natural nails. These are the foundation for all the fancy we put on top, and also play a huge part in the longevity of your service. Your nails tell us a huge amount about not only how they’ve been treated (nail biters and peelers, we’re looking at you!), but also your health. Ridges and furrows, white spots, and dry cuticles all tell a story, some of which we’ll sometimes recommend you see your GP for (we’re artists, not docs!).

Oily (we don’t mean hydration, but the natural oils that form part of your nails) nail plates can cause all sorts of lifting, peeling and chipping. So if Anna has more natural oils than Sally, hers won’t last as long; there’s a reason we use all sorts of lotions and potions when prepping your nails (and we’ll always happily talk you through what and why).

Unavoidable? Some nails grow really fast(!), others don’t, though the average is an inch every 8-10 months – not great if you’re a commitment-phobe with a desire for au naturel!

This also means your infill isn’t always about disliking the gap at the bottom, its about ensuring the structure of an enhancement gives you the strength you need – if you’ve opted for some form of extension (acrylic or hard gel), we create an ‘apex’, a soft built up curve that gives your nail strength at its weakest point. As your nail grows, this moves, and is why if you leave your next appointment too long, you’ll experience more lifting, breakages, and nails popping off.

And finally, aftercare aftercare aftercare! Ladies, we cannot stress this enough. If you spend all day tapping out at a computer, prising open Redbull and Irn Bru with your nails, or doing household chores with a little help from your new stronger friends, your nails will chip, they will lift, and they definitely won’t last as long. We’re all guilty (me especially, I’m currently typing with 9 extensions – blame a clean sink and a lack of gloves!), but to make the very most of your sparkly new mani, its really important to follow our advice, all of which can be found HERE at https://nudenailandbeauty.co.uk/services

There you go, mystery solved!

We love love love when you guys share our content (we feel amazing when you guys like what we do), so if you know an Anna always broken, and like our chat, tag TF out of us, and let us holla back at you!

Love, hugs, and a chip free mani always,

Nat

XOXO