#annerxia

[hjfegvj]

[theirdelusionalobject]

I couldn’t focus at all in class today and I was like so spaced out and floaty I don’t even remember what I did the majority of the day like there are these huge black outs in my memory and I’m pretty sure I ended up falling asleep in the shower maybe not idk but I spent like two and a half hours in there and I remember none of it.

I feel like I should be more worried or scared but I don’t know I’m not really feeling anything all I do is sleep and panic and I’m not ok I guess,, I’m failing all my classes and haven’t talked to my family in way to long and I just can’t find the energy to get back into it and all I want to do is stuff my face with ducking chocolate but I can’t for some fucking reason

[theirdelusionalobject]

Today was kinda shitty ngl it was fucking freezing and I have like zero tolerance to the cold so I was miserable all day, I had a warm water bottle filled with boiling tea that I may or may not have shoved up my shirt it was cold ok,,, then it was lunch and I was stressed the fuck out I gave away most of my food and managed to eat a few fried and then one of my friends distracted everyone and I didn’t have to eat anymore so cool I guess idk,,,, I managed to eat dinner but then I went to put my left overs in the fridge and I was stressed out and wanted to be alone and my step dad got really close and leaning into me to look at my food and I kept pushing him away but he wouldn’t listen and it made me really uncomfortable and I ended up throwing up so idk,,,,,,

I ended up eating 501 calories worth of whatever and I burned around 480 so net 21 which is weird yesterday was similar I ate around 700 and burned 564 today wasn’t a good day though I hate this