#another spiral to add to the spiral log ig | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs | Tumgik

#another spiral to add to the spiral log ig

strawbebyjam · 1 year

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if discord sends notifs when you leave groups or close dms. well i dont need or want to know that. thank u

#trying to do stuff so i don’t spiral every time i open an app but if everyone sees it happen well i will simply want to drown so #my brains so irritating. and easily dysregulated. and im mad about it #LMFAO #like doubly so if i’m the only person in the situation whos being so. horrible. and gross and messy. like #99% of me will be glad if theyre doing better yhan me and i truly genuinely hope for that to be the case. but i also like. 1% of me is like #oh my god if theyre doing so much better or healthier about all this it means i AM a monster #like tldr is that i feel like a true genuine monster. and am convinced that is what i am and shall be henceforth. and i feel incapable of #finding fulfillment for myself or meeting anyones expectations for me ever or ever being a good person #like i truly feel ive lost my sense of self and i feel crazy GDJDBDHD #but it is what it is. and i’m gonna keep trying to be Good about this and get a good grade in breakup and whatnot but i also know i’m #failing the whole course yk #anyways #another spiral to add to the spiral log ig #neg #mano.mindtalk #yk how people are like. dw let urself feel! youll realize how pathetic it is and one day youll wake up and stop because youre like #oh im being pathetic. no longer gonna be that way. ok im free!#like i have known im being a pathetic shivering wet little dog abt this whole thi g since the day it happened #when does my brain do the Oh Man! I Should Stop! part

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