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hippychick006 · 4 years

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12.06 - Celebrating the life of Asa Fox Episode Review/Recap

Honestly, I see a picture like this on a promo and I have no hesitation diving straight in. Okay, you all know I have a hurt!Sam fetish, complete with writhing on the floor padabooty, let’s not bang on about it.

Official episode summary: THREE WINCHESTERS ARE BETTER THAN ONE – When hunters gather together to celebrate the life and tragic death of one of their own, Sam (Jared Padalecki) Dean (Jensen Ackles) and Mary (guest star Samantha Smith) must take action when a demon starts picking off hunters one by one. John Bedham directed the episode written by Steven Yockey

My optimum number of Winchesters is two but yeah, I don’t mind a buy two get one extra free here and there.

Overall, I do really enjoy this episode, even after rewatch but putting under a cut to save space.

There’s a lot of things I don’t like about the Dabb era, and in terms of this episode, retconning Mary to be a hunter after parenthood is one of those things that niggles a little (I know she was a hunter before parenthood which also irks for different reasons) so there’s a lot I have to shake off from my mind in order to be able to enjoy an episode. And on rewatch, I had less issues than I did the first time (but given I’m coming at this straight from season 15, it could be a case of me just grasping onto absolutely anything that isn’t terrible).

Aside from the Mary thing, I love so much about this episode, not least because there isn’t a single mention of feathers who I am seriously going to struggle watching in any episode going forward thanks to 15.18 debacle.

Anyway moving swifly on…

First up is the intro and I love the introduction of Asa Fox as a character. We first meet him as a child, who Mary saves from a werewolf attack. And then we see him become interested in hunting (as Mary tells him she’s soon going to retire, and he’s worried that if she does: who’s gonna save people like me?)

Asa decides it’s going to be him and through a montage set to Bachman-Turner Overdrive’s Roll On Down The Highway, we see Asa grow up to become a pretty awesome hunter. Throughout all this time, he writes postcards to Mary, but doesn’t send them (no address) so he has quite a collection by the end and I think it’s all his hunts.

I’m so caught up in how awesome Asa is and how much I like this new character, I’m completely jarred when he comes to a sudden and unexpected end via hanging which also brings the music to an abrubt halt.

Great intro, Asa said very few words but I’m already mourning not getting to know him more.

After the opening titles, we switch to Jody who is chilling out at home about to watch Netflix when there’s a knock at the door. Turns out it’s Sam and Dean who have just finished up a hunt and stopped by to visit. Unfortunately the cardboard cutout “just add water” instant girl hunters are at a concert. Jody offers to feed them, and Dean lets her know that he killed Hitler since the last time they saw her.

Sam: *huffs and walks away Jody: *blank stare “thank you?” Dean: You’re welcome

Love it.

They have pizza and watch Netflix and have a debate about rom coms. Sam says Dean is more of “an animated Japanese erotica chick.”

A little oversharing on your brother’s habits there Sammy, but Sam is not concerned in the least. In fact, I love how totally relaxed Sam is sitting here. He’s clearly comfortable at Jody’s slumped on her sofa.

The phone rings and Jody goes to answer it, Sam and Dean have a conversation about Sam oversharing which Dean’s uncomfortable with.

Sam: Dude, be proud of your hobbies. It makes you who you are.

Supportive Sam encouraging his brother!

Jody returns and walks past them, she’s clearly upset. The boys follow to watch her start packing. They ask what’s wrong and Jody says a friend of hers died – it’s poor Asa from the opener and I wasn’t expecting a link from Jody to Asa.

The name is familiar to Dean and he’s trying to figure it out when Sam says it’s the guy Ellen used to tell stories about at the Roadhouse. Asa apparently killed five wendigos in a single night and now I’m even more mourning his loss. Seems Jody met Asa when he came to town on a hunt, she caught him out when he tried to pretend to be an FBI agent by the name, Fox Mulder. He’s worse than the Winchesters! Anyway she helped him out on a ghoul hunt and they kept in touch.The boys decide to go with her to the wake, John didn’t let them go to hunter gatherings outside of bars as he always said they were trouble.

Turns out Asa lived in Manitoba, Dean says “oh Canada” when he gets out of the car on arrival. Sam is impressed with the house which yes, nice digs for a hunter.

We meet Asa’s mother, Lorraine and she knew her son was a hunter. She’s heavily in to the drink but she’s just lost her son, so I’m cutting her some slack as I can’t imagine anything worse.

Dean finds his way to the kitchen (and the beer) which has no label. He’s concerned but “Bucky” homebrewed it himself and it’s strong. Dean introduces himself which gets the attention of the several hunters in the room,

Randy: No freakin’ way. Aren’t you dead? Like, four times? Dean: Yeah. It, uh, didn't take.

Just wait till they hear about Mystery Spot where he died over a hundred times in a single day!

Sam fanboy hunter: Wait. Your brother here? Sam? Dean: Yeah, he's still alive, too. He's –

Fanboy doesn’t even wait for Dean to finish, he’s off to find Sam. Same fanboy (named Elvis), same tbh

While Dean’s making friend’s in the kitchen – and learning not to say the name ‘Wendigo’ which turns out to be a trigger word to take a drink - Sam’s homed in on hotboy Max and his equally hot sister Alicia. Turns out their mother is a good witch who taught Alicia how to hunt bad witches.

Sam (to Max): What did she teach you? Max: Uh, mostly how to seduce men. Alicia: She also taught him some magic, which is actually more useful. Max: Eh, mostly the men thing.

Max is definitely getting his flirt on, making sure Sam knows he’s into hot men, and we cannot deny, Sam is a hot man. Before Sam can flirt back, Elvis interrupts and introduces himself and then makes Sam feel awkward when he asks Sam about being possessed by the devil. Bad Elvis!

Max (and Alicia) are both pissed on Sam’s behalf,

Alicia: Dude, you don't just ask someone about something that messed up. Max: Seriously, back off.

Protective!Max alert, I’m going to need a few minutes with my new ship Samax, though to be honest, the way Max and Alicia are sitting together, it might need to be Samaxia, which no issue other than it sounds like a drug that gets advertised on television with all kinds of side effect warnings, like may cause death...)

Elvis makes Sam feel so awkward that he runs off to go find a beer. Elvis then tries to talk to Max and Alicia and they outright just tell him to go away. Love them.

Aww, Sam got his beer and then went off to find his big brother. In fairness, I think they’ve been separated five minutes at this point and in that time Sam was accosted by Elvis. Dean’s looking through Asa’s office and discovers he has a real angel blade. Sam asks if Dean knew people tell stories about them.

Dean: Yeah. Apparently, we’re a little bit legendary. Sam: Yeah, but, I mean, so was Asa. Then a hunt went bad, and he ended up hanging from a tree, alone in the woods. Dean: He died on the job. No better way to go. Sam: You really believe that? Dean: Yeah. What, you don’t? I mean, come on, Sam, it's not like we're in the “live till you're 90, die in your sleep” business. This? [Dean points at Asa’s hunting wall] This only ends one way.

It’s difficult watching this knowing the ultimate end as I know Sam’s never agreed with this, being the one to want to see an end to hunting at some point; but you can’t deny Dean has been consistent in how he thinks he’s going to go out and has always seemed at peace with that.

Sam says they should get back and Dean agrees but warns Sam not to say “wendigo” to anyone. I love that he warns Sam. Every time Dean is a good brother, it just reminds me how much of a bad sister I am as I would not have passed on the warning. Sam’s confused about why he can’t say it but seems to just accept it.

Only a few people are around by the end of the night, still telling stories of Asa’s epic hunts - mainly Bucky. Why show, why give us this amazing man and kill him off in the first five minutes?!.

Anyway, turns out that the “ghoul story” from earlier had more to it. Asa and Jody got together for some “sweet sweet time alone”. Jody plays it down, says it was more of a casual thing. Turns out Asa could beat Dean in the ladies game and I think even Alicia and Max mother was one of his conquests (we saw this in the opening montage as well, Asa kissing a different woman in his car in between hunts).

Randy asks if people want a beer and heads to the kitchen, and I fear Randy is not long for this world as he walks down the hallway alone. We stay on him as he returns and my anxiety is kicking in, even with expecting something, it’s sudden when his throat is slit and he’s dragged off down a side corridor by someone wearing black.

Alicia walks back into the living room carrying two beers – and we’re reminded she’s dressed all in black?! Alicia? Surely not.

We see someone enter the door and only see their boots as they walk, they stop just outside the living rom where everyone is talking. Loraine hears the footsteps stop and tells the stranger to come in and not hover.

Turns out it’s Mary. Awkward Winchester family reunion, given I think from memory Mary walked out an episode or so ago.

Sam, Dean, Jody and Mary go somewhere more quiet to talk.

Mary: What are you doing here? Dean: What are you doing here?

I love the reversed dynamic of Sam being go between Dean and Mary (where it was the reverse between Sam and John). Sam introduces Mary to Jody as their mother.

Jody: I thought– I thought you were... Mary: I was. Jody: [quietly] Wow. Wow! [She hugs Mary excitedly] It is so nice to meet you!

She belatedly sees the awkward tension and ships out to give them “some family time”

Dean asks where Mary’s been and she responds she’s been using John’s journal to work through a few things.

Dean: You could’ve just asked us, you know. Sam: Dean, come on. Dean: She could’ve. Mary: It’s okay. He’s right. But… This is something I needed to do alone. I… Listen, most of the people I knew are dead. And then I remembered Asa. He was so young when I met him, I thought he must still be around. And then… I saw an article about his death, and, uh… Dean: So you’ll text us once a week, maybe, but you’ll drive all the way to Canada to see some dead guy? Well, that’s awesome. I’m gonna get some air. Mary: Dean, wait...

Mary tries to go after Dean but Sam stops her. Sam knows his brother.

Jody on the other hand stops Dean at the door and pretty much says she’s here if Dean wants to talk about anything other than killing Hitler (which Dean spent the five hour drive telling her in excruciating detail.). She talks about giving anything to have her dead husband and son back but at the same time she would be worried it wouldn’t be the same which gives Dean some food for thought in regard to his complicated relationship with Mary.

Mary’s in the kitchen getting a beer, Lorraine introduces herself as Asa’s mother. Mary introduces herself as Mary Winchester, which Lorraine can’t believe as Mary should be her age. Mary: It’s a long story. She says she’s sorry. Lorraine says she should be, Mary’s the reason her son didn’t become an astronaut. She’s very bitter and hands Mary the box with the postcards Asa wrote to her. Mary defends herself and says she saved Asa’s life.

Lorraine: [scoffing] What am I supposed to say to that? After you, Asa got so… Hunting was his whole life. He never married. Never had a family, kids. And now… enjoy the wake.

I love this next scene between Sam and Mary. Sam finds Mary and asks if she’s all right. She thrusts the box of postcards at him and says she’s fine. She goes into Asa’s office and tells Sam she saved Asa when he was a kid, and this is all on her.

Sam: Well, no. Obviously, mom, he made his own decisions. And he helped a lot of people, you know?

Sam and free will and then we have Season 15 debacle. Pfff

Mary tells him that everywhere she goes and everything she does just feels wrong, but she’ll get used to it.Sam tells her he understands, she just needs space and so does Dean, (who we see outside drinking from his flask), He says Dean is just scared they are going to lose her again,

Sam: “that – that because we're (Sam and Dean) hunters, you're gonna walk away. But I know that’s not true. Even looking at these… [Sam holds out the box of Asa’s postcards to Mary] I mean, you saved Asa in 1980, um, after Dean was born. After everyone thought you quit hunting. Seems like you couldn’t stop then, and… I’m guessing you can’t stop now, either. This job, this life, is crazy and insane. But it’s in our blood. Come on. [Sam puts his arm around Mary] Mary: Where we going? Sam: To say goodbye to Asa.

I love that Sam understands more than anyone the desire to have normal/safe, pulling against the need to save people/hunt things so I love this scene between him and Mary and I like Mary a little bit more because of it. Damn you Jared! You even got me to like Claire once!

They go to say goodbye to Asa and I like when Mary undoes the cover over his face and we get blood dripping onto Asa’s forehead. It’s interesting to have both Sam and Mary in this scene in a callback to Sam’s nursery scene. They both look up and it’s Randy, tied to the rafters, dead and bleeding from his neck wound.

Back in the living room, Bucky is still telling stories about Asa. Sam and Mary rush in and Sam tells everyone they need to leave because Randy is dead. I like this, it’s like a murder mystery now. All of a sudden, water is shut off (this is new canon?), and the twins can smell Sulphur. Lights are flickering. Demon alert!

Bucky tells them it’s Jael, a crossroads demon who hangs people, which is his thing, snaps necks (Asa), slits throats (Randy). Turns out Asa exorcised the demon but now it’s back. Bucky tries to open the door, Elvis helps but it slams shut.

Max (trying to impress Sam): you’re wasting your time [he waves a hand in front of the door and we see red symbols] Max says the entire house has been warded.

Not sure if that impressed Sam or not but Max had me at “Seriously, back off” and now this? *Fans self

Anyway, it means they are trapped inside.

Back outside with Dean, he’s still drinking from his flask. He hears footsteps and doesn’t bother turning around, just tells the person to “go away”. I think he thinks it’s Mary, but turns out to be Billy saying “you’re not the boss of me.”

Dean: Billie. What’re you doing here? Billie: My job. [Dean chuckles] Well, I’m not dead yet. Billie: Shame. But actually, I just finished inside. I was reaping a fresh soul.

Wait, what? But Dean’s brother is in there! Dean’s pissed and marches to the door.

Inside, Bucky is telling the group more about the demon Jael. Asa exorcised the demon but not before it killed a first nations girl by tying a noose around her neck.

Outside Dean is rattling and banging on the door

Dean: Sam. Sammy! Hey! Billie: You can huff and puff, but that house is on supernatural lockdown. They can’t even hear you.

Bucky is still expositioning and Dean is still trying to get past that old Winchester nemesis “the door”, even throwing a solid statue at it, but nothing is happening.

Okay, we’ve now reached the only part of this episode I have an issue with. We’ve got a group of hunters standing around wondering who the demon is amongst them and not one of them can remember the tests for a demon. Sam come on! You knew Christo in season 1 and you performed a reverse exorcism in season 8.

Anyway Elvis accuses Alicia of not being in the room and Max says Dean wasn’t in the room either (uh Max buddy, accusing Sam’s brother isn’t going to win you any points in the whole wooing thing, just fyi - of course wooing Sam in the first place is pretty dangerous terratory)

Finally Alicia remembers about holy water but they are all out. Elvis says they can just make more but Mary reminds them the water is off. Uh? The toilet bowl?

Dean’s stopped attacking the door and turns to Billie and asks, What did you do? Billy says it wasn’t her, she’s just cleaning up the mess but “it’s always nice to see a Winchester who can’t get what he wants.”

Dean: You think this is funny? Huh? Hunters are dying in there. Billie: Everyone dies.

Dean is pretty much losing his shit and I’d like to remind people that at this point, he doesn’t know which hunter has died.

Back with the group, Sam finally remembers his brother is outside so all focus is on Alicia who starts coughing. I think she’s faking it to screw with her brother (totally what I would do) but no,

Alicia/Jael: Alicia’s not here right now. [Her eyes glow red] Leave a message. [she punches Max] Oh, you’re a fun group. We’re gonna have a good time tonight.

Jael leaves Alicia in a cloud of demon smoke and flies into the fireplace. Sam and Max get Alicia up (Samaxia forever – warning for side effects which may include internal bleeding and even death)

They now need to figure who in the house Jael has jumped into. Jody gives the orders (I’ll forgive this, she’s a cop) and they pair off to search the house (why not sweep room to room?), Anyway, Sam’s with Mary and Jody’s with Bucky.

Dean’s worked out that Billy got in to reap the soul so if she can get in, she can get Dean in.

Billie: I could, I suppose. But– Dean: Do it! Billie: But it’s a one-way ticket. And you’re gonna owe me one.

Billie, Sammy is in there, do you think Dean cares about “cosmic consequences” at a time like this? There is a door between them right now ffs! Sammy may even be dead and Dean does not want him decomposing before he can find a crossroads to make a deal!

Elvis who was supposed to be partnering with Lorraine, left her briefly to get her a double (vodka I presume?). Anyway Dean comes flying through the door like the overly dramatic bitch he is whenever Sam is in danger.

Dean (whipping out demon knife): Where’s my brother? [he’s already marching past them btw to go look]

THIS IS MY SHOW! What moron thought this show was going to end with DeanCas? Come on, don’t be shy, show yourselves so we can point and laugh because you are going to have an epic tantrum approximately 3 and a half years from this episode which could have been prevented if you’d watched the damn show, instead of wallpaper. By the way, in this episode, Castiel was played by the statue Dean threw at the door. [It represents the violent nature of the Destiel relationship – I have a 500 page meta on this if anyone is interested].

Lorraine accuses Dean of being the demon.

Dean: Demon? Lorraine: Kill him! Dean: Whoa, whoa, whoa. Easy, lady. Look, I’m not a demon, okay? I’m one of the good guys. Now stick with me, do what I say, and everybody’ll get out of here, okay? Everybody!

Elvis – making far too much use of his screentime matches Dean’s dramatics by pulling out his own knife and saying ominiously “well, not everybody” [complete with red flashing eyes].

In this episode, Dean is allowed to be a proper hunter and is able to fight. He taunts the demon, “You’re kinda slow for a demon, aren’t you?” which, he seriously is, no idea how this demon got my wonderful favourite side character “Asa” killed (if he’s not in the final watching Kansas play at the Road House along with all my other favourites, I will be pissed and have a full week meltdown on Twitter – just fyi) [*I won’t really because I’m not insane. Please don’t report me.]

Dean tells the demon to go to hell. The demon tells Dean that Hell is a “complete train wreck” (uh, no, what is a “complete train wreck” is most of season 12-15) Hell is much more pleasant. Dean repeats for the demon to go to hell and starts reciting an exorcism (finally, the smart brother is in the room). Love hearing Dean recite the exorcism. Demon says nuh uh though and snaps Elvis’ neck complete 180 which causes Lorraine to scream, the black smoke escapes from Elvis still standing body. Elvis collapses on the floor and Lorraine is wailing. And I can say “Elvis has left the bulding” which I’ve been waiting the entire episode to be able to say. I’m marginally disappointed Dean didn’t.

Dean helps Lorraine up while shouting “Sammeh!” which brings Sammeh running to the living room.

Mary: Dean. We thought you were outside. Dean: Yeah, I got back in. Sam: How? Dean: It was a one-time deal. Won’t happen again.

Thankfully, there’s no time for Sam to initiate the Spanish inquisition on THAT right now. They account for everyone – except Elvis obviously. The lights go out and everyone puts flashlights on (Max and Alicia have the phone torch on – me as a hunter!) but Dean pulls out the knife which Alicia and Max look at.

Alicia: Mm, impressive. Dean: Demon blade. Kills ‘em dead. Max and Alicia in unison: Nice.

While I try to work out a Sam/Max/Alicia/Dean ship name, Bucky suggests lighting candles, Dean says they need a devil’s trap. Sam says “on it” and Dean is right there with him “yep”. My boys working in sync!

Dean’s plan is for them all to stand in the devil’s trap. The person who won’t get in, is the demon. Clever plan. Mary is impressed and it’s nice for her to see how well one of her sons turned out as a hunter and the other is a cute dumbass – at least Sam had a flashlight.

Mary goes off on her own for some reason and goes to get the angel killing blade from Asa’s office.

Max tries flirting with Sam again, asking what kind of pentagram they are doing

Sam: Standard pentagram. Nothing fancy. Max: I like a Fifth Pentacle of Mars. It’s got more character.

Max bringing his A game to the flirting, I like it. Alicia doesn’t like all the flirting: “Because character is really what matters right now.” They are just like Sam and Dean! Spin off of codependent witch siblings right tf now. Please and thank you.

Jody sees Mary return and is suspicious she was off on her own. She whispers to Sam that she thinks Mary is possessed, she gets increasingly worried which draws the immediate attention of Dean who comes over and asks what is going on (demon knife drawn out and ready once again). Sam quietly tries to tell Dean that Jody thinks their mom is a demon, but Jody shouts, No, I don’t think, I know! I know she’s a demon. [points accusingly at Mary] which prompts Bucky to steps away from Mary and reaches for his knife.

Mary: Hey! Jody: Kill her! Use the knife! Kill her now! Sam: Whoa, whoa, whoa. Wait. Hold on a second, [turns to look at Jody] Jody, you… You don’t sound like yourself. Dean (not even looking around):That’s because she’s not herself. Are you?

Oh my poor Sam Dumbchester, on rewatch, this episode did you dirty, I was sucked in by my love of Asa Fox and the whole door thing and the Sammeh! I’m so ashamed. Hands my bitter Sam girl platinum membership card back to the bitter Sam girl club in recognition I am no longer worthy of holding it Jody turning into the red eyed demon is in the running for worst “playing of a different character ever” but it’s up against stiff competition from Casifer, Empty!Castiel, Gestapo!Castiel and gayforpay!Castiel and is mercifully short. My main issue with this demon is there is no real consistency through the different bodies it inhabits. They should all have agreed how to play it imo and I do think Kim goes Disney villain OTT but not enough to cause embarrassment, just would have been better if the performance had been toned down some.

Demon Jody had hoped they would kill their mom “wouldn’t that be a riot?”

Dean (sarcastically): Yeah, super fun

Sam tries to attack Jody and is thrown. Big brother is pissed and tries to attack but is thrown too. Uh, how come the lame demon can fight now?

Anyway, Mary attacks and tries to kill Jody with the demon blade and manages to scratch her arm, but Sam says no and pulls Mary away. .

Mary: What are you doing?! She’s a demon. We kill demons. Sam: No, but she’s Jody.

I like this that Mary doesn’t know you don’t just go around killing people, you try to save them first.

The demon is bored and claps her hands, and everyone collapses onto the ground and cannot move (where was this kickass power earlier?). The demon says she’s heard so many stories about the Winchesters, she stands over sam and says, “The idea that he left a meatsuit alive is just so deliciously weak.” Sam gives his “bite me” face.

As for the rest, she’s been inside their heads and starts spilling out secrets – the twins are Asa’s children (I forgot about this detail), Lorraine apparently tried to sabotage Asa’s truck to stop him going out hunting (which is a nice call back to him trying to fix the truck in the episode earlier). She says Jody fantasized about a life with Asa. Bucky manages to get up to attack but Jody grabs him and holds him on his knees.

Jody/Jael: And you. Bucky. Brave, brave Bucky. I was there that night. Tell these nice, stupid people what you did. Tell them what you took from me. Asa was mine.

I like this next scene, Sam manages to stand up and start the exorcism before he’s thrown across the room again. Dean picks up where Sam left off, until he’s thrown through a glass door, the twins are next and get pinned to the wall.

Bucky finally confesses that he killed Asa [and the way he’s dramatically thrown to the floor would never have made it into a scene in seasons 1 to 5]. Oh show, weeps for the quality that once was. Season 12 (heavy sigh).

Mary stands up and finishes the exorcism which sends the demon back to hell.

Sam rushes over to help Jody who says, “That… sucked”

[Try re-watching your performance Kim!]

Lorraine: Bucky, what did you do?

They all turn and look at Bucky.

Bucky says they were hunting in the woods for Jael and he wanted to go back and get the angel blade. Asa wanted to keep hunting but Bucky pushed him and Asa fell and cracked his head and died, which I feel kind of sorry for, not like he did it deliberately and he lost his best friend [and lets be real, it’s not the worst thing a supposed “best friend” has done on this show]. It’s a very tragic end for a great hunter (don’t fast forward to 15.20)

Bucky asks what they are going to do to him.

Alicia: Tell everyone, every hunter we meet. They’re gonna know your name, Bucky. Know what you did. Max: You like stories. This is the story everyone’s gonna tell about you. Forever

I guess I get Max and Alicia’s anger, Asa being their dad and all. It’s just tragic all round because I do feel it was an unlucky accident and Bucky clearly misses his best friend.

I like the setup of the funeral pyre, now 3 hunter bodies being burned, Jody, Lorraine and Mary are standing in front of the pyre. Alicia and Max are resting against their car and Dean and Sam are doing the same against baby.

Lorraine tells Mary she was wrong, “Asa did have a family. He even had kids. I’ve got grandchildren. Suppose I should go meet them.” She walks over to hug Alicia and Max.

Jody and Mary are left at the pyre,

Jody: I don’t know what’s going on between you and your boys, but I gotta tell you, mom to mom, they are good men. Best I’ve ever met. Mary: I know. They’re not the problem.

Jody walks away and leaves Mary on her own, which is Dean’s opportunity, he taps Sam and they both go over to Mary. They ask if she’s okay but Billy appears and says, “She’s really not.” Mary asks who she is and Dean says she’s a reaper that got him back inside.

I would like to have much preferred to have seen Sam’s reaction as well as Mary’s but we don’t get this and it’s a bad choice of angle for me. Billie says Dean owes her one and looks at Mary, “This one. This one right here.”

Billie is still on her “what’s dead should stay dead” kick. She’s a stickler for the laws on that (and never really changes tbh, I don’t really get Billie’s overall arc.)

Mary says she didn’t ask to come back, Billie agrees but says the dead man’s look in Mary’s eyes says she hates it, that she feels she doesn’t fit, like she’s all alone.

Dean: Well, she’s not alone.

Billie (still looking at Mary): Tell me I’m wrong. [Sam and Dean turn to look at Mary and kudos to Jared once again for saying so much with no words as to how he looks at Mary here]

Billy says she’s not here to hurt Mary, “I’m here to offer you mercy. A one-way ticket upstairs, away from all of this.” [Again poor choice of camera for this scene as we see Dean but not Sam]. Mary asks how it would work.

Sam: Mom. [My poor boys!] Mary: You just kill me again? Billie: Reapers don’t kill people. Rules. Mary: Well… then… [she looks up at Sam and Dean] Me: Don’t you dare break my boys fragile hearts! Mary: Then I guess you’re just gonna have to wait. Billie: Winchesters… Me: Same tbh Billie Billie: …if you change your mind– if any of you change your minds– you know my name. [she disappears]

Sam asks if this means Mary is coming home. Mary says yeah, but follows up with: Not quite yet. I just need a little more time.

Sam looks disappointed ☹ but he understands

Dean: Can we buy you breakfast at least? Mary: Bacon? Dean: All the bacon. Mary: I would love that.

I love that Dean and Mary can find a common bond through food. Sam hugs Mary as they walk together towards the Impala

Despite a couple of wobbly bits sprinkled here and there and my poor Dumbchester Sammeh, I still really love this episode overall, the good far outweighs the issues I have and I’ll happily re-watch it as a stand-alone MOTW. I loved the introduction of the witch twins and wish we’d got to see a lot more of them *coughs* and a lot less of other “fan favourite” characters.

It will be interesting where this one will ultimately fall in my definitive list.

#spn rewatch #12.06 #celebrating the life of asa fox #episode review #episode recap #Dabb era actually has some quite good episodes to enjoy #if you ignore being repeatedly punched in the face with Cass is best friend/brother

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blahblahblaw18 · 4 years

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Overview of what’s on my mind :I

Namaste! I don’t know who you are and you don’t know me either. Let’s break the ice and get to know each other. Me first.

First of all, why the fuck is Grammarly not working here?! Do I have to become a premium member or something??

Anyhoo, my name is not really Indira or Lakshmi it is something else but I don’t want to reveal it so you will have to make do with those two names. Now I can’t tell you what my real name is or why I am not using it here but what I can tell you is why I have chosen the name I have chosen for a pseudonym. Indira Gandhi was a lady who is considered to be the most powerful Prime Minister India has ever had. She was honestly not a very good Prime Minister unlike her father, but even with the little knowledge that I have about her, I can tell you that she was certainly the best leader and the most convincing demagogue ever. I know that sounds paradoxical. How can you call someone a demagogue and then also say that the person is a good leader? Well, I think a good leader is someone who knows how to make the masses rally behind her and who can elevate herself to a cult status in the eyes of her people irrespective of the ideology of the person or the path the person chooses to follow. So, do I also think Hitler was a good leader? Yep. I do think Hitler was a successful leader... more so because he was able to persuade so many others (his followers) to live a life devoid of heart and brain and was even successful in convincing many of his era (some even to this day) that what he was doing was actually evangelical work. (P.S. I am NOT saying he was a good human. He was and will forever remain an arse who died like the coward that he was.) Applying the same principle even leaders like Narendra Modi, Barack Obama, Vladimir Putin, Donald Trump (up to a certain extent), Recep Tayyip Erdoğan, Martin Luther King, Nelson Mandela and Mahatma Gandhi can be attributed to being doyens. You must understand that the filter that I am applying here to classify them as good leaders is not whether they have done good or bad work but whether they were able to make the general public believe in them and their work just as much as they themselves did or not. So, in short, demagogues employing good rhetoric and having the ability to appeal to the hearts of the people, according to me, ARE fine leaders. Again, don’t confuse it with fine HUMANS.

Gosh! that was quite a big explanation!! I am going to keep the next one short.

So, Lakshmi. Now if you, who is reading this blog, are my ex-Boyfriend (I seriously don’t even want to bring that topic up cause even reminding myself that I was stupid enough to subject myself to that suffocating experience makes me want to retch.) you might want to think that Lakshmi is some kind of an eponym. If you were foolish enough to think that, then I am sorry to burst your bubble but NO! So, who is Lakshmi? To put it in a sentence (cause she is of a stature that is beyond being explicable in even a paragraph; that calls for a separate blog in itself.) she was a great freedom fighter, and I feel a much unsung one too, who gave up her life fighting for our freedom. But that is not what made me choose her name; there have been, as a matter of fact, many other leaders of equally gargantuan stature who’ve laid down their lives for us, their privileged future. But, many other aspects of her made me chose her in particular and as you may have guessed it already, her gender IS one of them though not the only one. Wait for my blog about her (or probably even a book, if and when I write it), which I assure you I will write as soon as possible, to know why I consider her as my idol.

Now, coming to the question of what this blog is going to be about and why I am writing it...

This blog is not really a blog, I don’t intend to market this blog in any sort of way I am not even going to publicize it for certain obvious reasons (I am using an alternate identity here). The thing is off late I am going through some turbulent times and things haven’t really been, let’s just say, a cotton candy meal. I was feeling extremely lonely, (don’t misinterpret that; I do have friends and some very fine ones indeed but I just don’t feel like calling them every single day and rambling stuff into their ears) and the loneliness gave way to substance abuse... again do not be alarmed... it’s not so much substance abuse as it is internet addiction. Yup. I got myself hooked to the internet during the COVID induced lockdown and though the lockdown got over loooong ago my addiction didn’t vanish in a similar fashion. NETFLIX, YOUTUBE, INSTAGRAM YOUTUBE, TWITTER BUT MAINLY YOUTUBE... so to break that addiction and to make myself feel heard I’ve decided to engage myself by blogging ‘bout my thoughts and feelings. Here you may expect blogs on any topic that falls under the umbrella of my interest, i.e. I am going to write a little bit ‘bout my life, politics, history, my very very valuable opinion about anything and everything that goes on in this world, books, Benedict Cumberbatch, food, my friends and family, how and why my life sucks, cricket, Netflix series, Youtube videos, people I see around me, and just life in general.

And since this is only to fill the vacuum created by the lack of human interaction, or may I say lack of conversations where the other person is ready to only sit and listen to whatever I want to say, in my life; the blogs are going to be supremely candid and won’t involve grandiosity of any sorts. (Nope, not even grandiloquent words like grandiose unless they just slip off in the flow of writing like how grandiosity did in the last sentence and grandiloquent in this one.)

You may at this point be like “WTF Indira as if our own thoughts weren’t enough! Why the fuck should I read about what you have to say?” and to that I can only say one thing... you really don’t have to read my blogs. They exist more because I want to write and need a medium where I can successfully be anonymous and vent out what goes on in my mind and less because I want you to read them. And since I am not advertising these blogs in anyway if you are reading this, then it means that you already want to read them... and I frankly don't have any objection to that. So now that you have read all the way till the end of this blog (or even if you have skipped most of it and reached here cause, let’s be honest, you in all possibilities have no better an attention span than that of a goldfish, which is very much my attention span too after all these days of internet addiction.), you may as well go ahead and indulge yourself, albeit vicariously, in the thoughts of my mind.

Oh, and by the way, I got this idea of writing blogs as a form of therapy from the Sherlock series on Netflix (starring the hot AF Benedict Cumberbatch and Martin Freeman). It is uhh-mayy-zingg! You should watch it too if you haven’t already.

My next blog is probably going to be about what is happening in my life and you will read more about why I chose to blog what’s on my mind.

See ya!

26.8.20 :I

#myfirstblog #hellotumblr #what'sonmymind

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redantsunderneath · 5 years

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Marlene Dietrich/Josef von Sternberg marathon: The Blue Angel, Morocco (1930), Dishonored, and Shanghai Express (1931)

I watched all of these films, the Blue Angel in German (which surprisingly didn’t hurt, though I might have missed some puns), so I could be prepped for the great movie podcast “There’s Sometimes a Buggy” that is covering the collaboration that made Marlene Deitrich as we know her. I don’t have a lot of exposure (more on my movie history later) to the early talkie years so these movies were a bit surprising to me on a lot of fronts, not the least reason for which was that I wasn’t brought up in rape culture, I guess (is this what people mean when they say that? cause, jeesh! every movie, the threat is just there). Funny enough, I felt that The Blue Angel was the only one that was really political to me along axes that felt vital, which is peculiar as the other three were about political conflict of factions/nations and make statements about war, nationalism, and the other, but I guess they don’t seem political in a sense that fits with current discourse. I didn’t see the CPC officer in Shanghai Express as pro communist but as a tentative stab at ambivalent nuance of the other’s perspective, a tipping of the hand that there’s a western-centracism in his absurd rape code (this is a common feature through the films of a “first claim” that a certain type of man has on a woman that has nothing to do with what she wants), and as ultimately an example of the brutality of violent conflict (more pointed because he’s been fleshed out). But I admit, by the films' equalizing the other side (the Russians, the CPC and even the Tunisian rebels if only by making the French Foreign Legion look so terrible) that is in itself a statement. Kubrick’s Paths of Glory seems to pick up where this leaves off.

The Blue Angel is the film I have the most to say about, and was the most interesting conceptually, but was hard to sync with for technical reasons (me not speaking German maybe being one of them). Through the films, we watch Dietrich get better at being a talkie actress and the Blue Angel doesn’t push her that hard, but this may be more a function of the camerawork and editing than anything else. Jannings somehow works better with her as a leading man than anyone but Dishonored’s McLaglen because he can fill the space created by her silent movie style of encapsulated performative moments then stasis/posing, though the let it breathe editing doesn’t help (I almost think her hand on ribcage pose starts as a need for her to have something to do when reacting that seems like a reaction). Morocco’s Gary Cooper sometimes seems like he’s in a different space than her and Shanghai’s Brook is super clipped (though she’s better adapted by then).

In Blue Angel, the effort to create composite Mise-en-scène with the ominous foreground frames is terrific (those anchors hanging down! the professor’s approach to the club!) and we have some of that German expressionist inner state stuff going on, especially at the end (the shadow of the chandelier!) but the cameraman doesn’t seem to know where to be and maybe that explains the ostensibly crappy blocking. The cinematography on the others is much better – the superimposed tracking shots in Morocco are phenomenal – and have just as many knockout myth buildingly shot scenes (too many to mention but her in a tux in Morocco, the final escape in Dishonored, the prayer in Shanghai Express). All the movies have enough differences in approach that you could think they were done by a different team (were the external shots in Morocco the ones shot by Peckinpah’s eventual AD, Lucien Ballard?).

There are all sorts of motifs running through the films: clocks (and calendars), racially insensitive dolls, men’s hats on women, skein-like drapes sometimes burned by irons vs drawn opaque shades, a man eavesdropping to get mood altering information from behind a louvered door, clowns/harlequins, throwing stuff that will need to be cleaned up on the floor/wall, makeup application in a number of functions (e.g. highlighting her performative nature, emasculation of men), sitting/sprawling on things as an act of feminine claiming of the space, guttural and animal noises as announcement we’re in a libidinal space positive or negative, the stockings, the kept animals, and all sorts of recurring human archetypes. But it’s The Blue Angel, with its full bore usage of these things plus more (eggs, nautical detritus, clock figurines, etc, that the subliminal story is the most present (though Dishonored is pretty potent).

The reason why I say Blue Angel is the most socio-political is that as a 2019 person on the internet who sees the culture war, is aware of the history of Weimar imagery as handled post Nazi, and knows what’s coming (spoilers for Hitler), the statement being made looks really complicated with a first pass of: the intelligencia’s embrace of the subaltern as primarily an instrument-possession both losses them cultural power and leaves them outside of the outgroup too, which is how, maybe, regressive populism (the students as rabble) wins. Granted this is an Iser-type hermeneutical hot take and it is complicated by the possibility that Jannings codes as pre-Hitler German populace’s growing conflation of left wing and Jewish as “dark other” (problematic, hard to bring the 1930 and 2019 horizons together on this, mileage may vary, but a case can be made) which would almost make this an anti-radical (on both sides) statement that meshes with the other movies’ anti-violence, anti group/idea allegiance, pro-people take. This is just the "bad decision" version. As for Jannings, the lumpen here is fine with him as long as he performs correctly. Maybe this is an artifact of Dietrich not being the protagonist by a director who wants her to be. The thing that really overlays this from a now standpoint, though, is the rhyming with a kind of 4chan framing where he has lost his “rightful” power, is “cucked,” and has an entitled-male rage tm (i.e. this can be read as an anti incel-ideology movie). The other movies don’t have this kind of congruence for the most part.

But the way the symbols work is pretty neat. His descent from prominent social capital to internationally renowned cock-a-doodle-do jester is marked by the change in the relationship with eggs as sexual enticement vs humiliation (and the humiliation was there from the beginning to be sure). The clown is there as a warning/future self. The special clocks that eerily suggests his/society’s demons are coming and no one can stop the forward mechanism of time. The caged bird is as you would expect. The dolls are a sort of self possession that she does test runs giving away. There’s too much to talk about.

Morocco has Cooper’s charisma going for it (which works best with Dietrich’s when they cut back and forth), the best non-closeup camerawork (the exteriors are great), large scale staging, and that cool woman in a tux mythmaking performance piece. It contains Cooper’s great non-verbal performance in the scene where he eventually writes “changed my mind” on the mirror (you can see him decide). The last scene of her trudging across the desert and throwing away her heals is great, and there is so much motion in the frame so often – the superimposition of movement that turns a dissolve into a long transitional double shot, the scene where she looks for him in the marching parade, etc. The relief map was hinky, though.

Dishonored was my favorite of the four. I liked all these films but, broken down, it had a couple of “bests” in it, but was #2 for everything else. It had the best-functioning male lead (the always in a mask non-naturalistic thing was perfect as that how she is and it balanced the space well) and a greater share of my very favorite scenes: the final escape scene, the party, the firing squad, and any any fucking piano playing (the first shot of her playing piano is my favorite shot of all the films). It’s the second best as a subliminal story (after Blue Angel), was the only one other than Shanghai Express that seemed like it had a screenplay - a story story rather than a loose idea, the idea of certain shots, the actors types, and dialogue. It had the most convincing sweep other than Morocco. The cat was a nice setting free of agency, progressing the doll as totem of self/other possession but with a mind of its own, with the power to ruin everything. This movie really vibed with me perfectly.

For Shanghai Express, see above, but I have to say I love the Disney villainess (before there were Disney villainesses) dress. The multi note secondary characters with actual performances and arcs was unique... the pastor who changes his mind on what is morally good is terrific, as are the exchanges between two fully fleshed out prostitutes and an old prude. My list is close, but If I had to order it would be Dishonored, Blue Angel, Shanghai, then Morocco, but it’s tough because the great things about each vary so much (I kept dithering on the bottom three more than #1, I considered putting Morocco 2nd).

It’s odd I’ve written this much and I haven’t broached the gender archetype pushing and pulling here, mainly because this seems pretty well mined territory. I’m under-read on this and feel like my take would be super cold -- cross dressing, Gary Cooper with a flower behind his ear, the unflinching depiction of how tough a time women have it while still depicting a kind of unique female cruelty to men, and the constant sexist statements undermined by the POV and what actually happened. Hopefully my naive viewpoint, coming at this fresh eyes will be valuable. So, like, are all these movies from this time period about class? It kind of reminds me of Impro, the Keith Johnstone book, which basically boils all theatrical character interaction to being about status.

Anyway, I’ve ignored my exegesis of Taylor Swift’s Lover to write this, so I must be back to work.

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striddums · 6 years

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ok, keeping this under a cut cause i just really don’t want to start a whole discourse on my blog, i hope you all understand. so, to the anons:

first: i realise i need to be more mindful & discreet about this topic than i initially was in my tags, especially as a white person, like you stated. and i apologise. i hadn’t watched any of the videos (including pdp’s) yet, and writing “i don’t think he’s a nazi” was just literally me carelessly sharing my gut feeling. cause i still think that he’s not... maybe i’m horribly naive for it. but i don’t think he is. the post i linked there is a piss poor “apology” and whatever, but he does state very clearly that he doesn’t share the same hateful thoughts as those people. he even calls the idea laughable - which to me perfectly summarises the entire problem with this guy. which brings us to...

...point two: in that post he says, i quote, “As laughable as it is to believe that I might actually endorse these people...”. he’s a dumbass. he thinks it’s fine to call it laughable, that he has a place to do so, and that it proves his point. “of course i don’t think that way! that’s so ridiculous i’d never in a million years even consider it! it’s laughable!” to me, that has seemed to be his thought process every time something like this happened... and, again, it’s fucking stupid. he SHOULD realise (especially with his massive audience, god) that he needs to be more careful talking about that stuff, more respectful, more empathetic. people get hurt by what he says and what he does. so many people (RIGHTFULLY) responded the way they did to his offensive jokes cause he caused HARM. and he simply hadn’t fathomed it would have the colossal impact it did. so i understand that people see that and think “well, he’s going around trampling on different groups, seemingly without remorse. this clearly shows his ideologies.” it’s a logical response! my feelings on it however... i’ve been watching his channel since 2012, and i just don’t think he’s that guy? not in a i-watched-him-so-long-and-i-wuv-him-too-much-to-see-mistakes kinda way. i’ve unsubscribed from many people i watched since 2009-2012 in the past cause they did something horrible (alex day for example). but i never got the feeling felix is the horrible person people worry he is. in the recent post (that i now deleted) i saw someone in the comments say “most of his videos have antisemitic tones”, but that’s simply untrue. i still watch a lot of his videos (think of that what you will...) and it’s literally 99% silly, inoffensive memes. the vast majority of his content is completely harmless. i can vouch he does not mention jewish people, or hitler, or anything like that, ever. cause...

...point three: why would he? he’s been under fire by the media and the internet and a big chunk of the whole world for what he did. disney fired him, his youtube red series got cancelled and thus scare pewdiepie 2 will never see the light of day. and, again, RIGHTFULLY SO. his “”””jokes”””” were distasteful and awful, and he had to face consequences for it. (which he agreed with btw! in the end with all the companies dropping him, he was most upset that other people who appeared in scare pdp 2 did all that hard work for it to never get recognised, all due to his idiocy.) so, as we all know, people were very upset with him for what he thought was just a funny-kinda-risky joke, and they still are. i lose followers every time i mention his name lol. he has expressed many times that he feels remorse and wishes for himself to do better and never fuck up like this again. that’s why i think he was not aware of the antisemitic references made by the creator he named in the recent video. if he did know it, regardless of him actually being antisemitic or not, he never would’ve mentioned them. he would’ve known what kind of shitstorm he could expect, ESPECIALLY since it’s regarding a topic he’s already screwed up in! i legit think he had no idea. also cause watching the video by the twitch streamer (from the post i now deleted), i had to rewatch the clips apparently showing antisemitic content many times. i didn’t get the references... at all... maybe i’m super uneducated, but i didn’t recognise them as anything nazi-related. <:/ they’re not blatant, in your face antisemitic references, they’re apparently very hidden and specific. all of them went right over my head, until the twitch guy paused and went “oh my god” and i then tried really hard to look into it... so i think it’s the same with felix. i believe most people wouldn’t notice the messages in them, unless they were familiar with nazi references. i think pdp likely just found a death note review that he enjoyed (it’s his favourite anime and he has Big Opinions on the netflix remake) so he decided to shout out the channel that made it based on that. i think this cause in his video, it’s literally the only thing he had to say about them... “i liked their anime review”. that’s it. so i believe the references went over his head too. (EDIT: after i wrote all this & posted it i saw pewdiepie had just uploaded a video addressing the matter, and he confirmed what i thought. he had no idea there were antisemitic references and never would’ve shared the channel if he had known.)

now, about that creator he gave a shout-out to, point four: from what i understand of the clips the twitcher showed, the offensive person isn't spreading blatant supremacist propaganda, or clearly stating to be in favour of those things. they’re putting in hidden references, and these might reflect his feelings (i wouldn’t be surprised.) but one thing became clear: he is in fact, a horrible edgelord lmao. the 4chan kind. the person who thinks putting a hitler speech bit in a steven universe video is funny. which is disgusting. i honestly doubt pdp has seen that su video, cause it’s on the man’s second channel that he never mentioned in this shout-out video, and cause it’s steven universe related lol. i don’t think he’d click on a su video, but that’s based on assumptions entirely so not very credible, i know. the su video’s title also has a rape joke in it... it’s just all round bad. that’s the only vid that had a more obvious nazi ref too (literal hitler) and the terrible title... so yeah fuck that guy. it’s unsure if pewdiepie actually knew about that video at all (and that one was referenced the most by the twitch streamer). all we can say for sure is that E;R guy is a massive twat. (EDIT: so yeah again, we now know for certain pdp had never seen the su video and junk)

to round it all up... to me pewdiepie is a guy with edgy humor, who thinks he can joke about everything (which, no ya don’t, especially as a cishet white dude), and who by far doesn’t take things as seriously as he should. and by a LANDSLIDE not as seriously as he should as a youtuber with 75 million subscribers. he’s made a lot of mistakes and it was never my intention to come off as if i’m defending or excusing them: i’m not, and i think they’re terrible. they’re extremely upsetting, and i’m deeply sorry for not being clear about that and putting those irritated tags under the post so carelessly. (my irritation was also mainly directed at felix for screwing up... again.)

but yeah, i do feel like he’s not actually someone with offensive thoughts... just someone who needs to grow up more & get better at handling such a big audience (which he has had like 4 years for... too slow). he has a far larger impact than he realises at times and there’s just certain jokes he CANNOT make. not only cause they’re simply unfunny and distasteful, but also cause they harm people. so all the people who say he handles things unprofessionally and has WAY too many screw-ups for someone with the large following he does - i wholeheartedly agree. but i don’t think he’s a nazi.

#i hope my thoughts came across well #personal #ask #Anonymous #pewds

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douchebagbrainwaves · 4 years

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IN ORDER TO GET TENURE, BUT IT'S THE TRUTH

Or more precisely, preorders has helped a lot. Asking whether you're default alive or default dead? So you don't end up having as much competition as you might expect, considering the bimodal distribution of outcomes in startups: you either fail or make a lot of economic history, and I predict that in the way math or history or most other university subjects do. In the best case you might get rich. Maybe there would be practical limits on the number of startups any one acquirer could assimilate, but if other startups have a big pool of potential users in the other half are going to get rich and the other is being out of line is invaluable.1 We learned quickly that the most noble sort of theoretical knowledge: some that's useful in practical matters and some that isn't. Startups often make things cheaper, so in that respect they're better positioned to prosper in a recession than big companies. It costs you a little more equity, but being slightly underfunded teaches them an important lesson. Another way to decrease the risk is to join an existing startup instead of starting your own. Nerds tend to eschew formality of any sort. You need to work with you on your current idea, switch to an idea people want to work on dumb stuff, even if the problem is simply that you don't have time for your ideas to evolve, and b any business model you have at this point; those millions must be put to work, just as for tax revenues.

For example, the stated purpose of Powerpoint is to present ideas. That's when they have options. One experienced CFO said: The better ones usually will not give a term sheet, and then gradually automate the bottlenecks. There's no incentive that would make them move. You can attack labels with meta-labels: labels that refer to the use of labels to prevent discussion. They don't care much how much they pay for it, but they might lose value from year to year. But in their time, they had about a year's salary each.2 Whereas if the founders are equal partners. Phrased that way, it doesn't sound good at all.

Let's start with a simple prototype, then add features, but at the end of month six, the system is starting to have children now, and they're explaining technical matters to an audience sitting behind you. You might get it. For example, Web-based startup is food and rent. If one of the really big ideas. And this problem is unique to me, because I know the founders of Octopart, they seemed very smart, but not when you're Kirk. And if you set off the same alarms in your head that it does in mine. At Viaweb we got our first $10,000 of seed money from our friend Julian, but he was sufficiently rich that it's hard to say for certain at the time.

To get a complete picture, just add in every possible disaster. When most people hear the word startup, they think of the famous ones that have gone public. When a VC firm, go to their web site and send them an email asking what's up, and they all said they'd prefer to hire someone who'd tried to start a startup. I sat down and calculated what I thought the price should be. But from what I've heard the founders didn't just give in and take whoever the VCs wanted. And yet they seem the last to realize it.3 What's going on? So if you're going to have to work on. For a startup, managing them is one of the big trends we'll see in the coming century, good ideas will increasingly have an edge over 50 year olds with good ideas will increasingly have an edge over 50 year olds with good ideas will increasingly have an edge over 50 year olds with good ideas will increasingly have an edge over 50 year olds with powerful connections. So it's likely that visitors from the future would have to get all the benefit of that type of thinking, while others are starved of it. So the contrast when I couldn't was sharp.4

And that's fine. The only thing worth talking about first is the problem you're solving and what you've built so far. Representational art is only now recovering from the approval of both Hitler and Stalin. In fact, it may be heretical or whatever modern equivalent, but might it also be true? At least, it seems an axiom that if you get a real job. We're taking on some consulting projects, but we're not willing to admit that to ourselves, because that's what it means to be a no man's land between angels and VCs in that they're companies that do it as a consciously artificial trick, like juggling. In the Bay Area would be progressive. I think the trend of big companies. But that's nothing new: startups always have to adapt to this. For example, a city could give money to a VC, but it might get you second place.5 Common Lisp: There are too many new ideas for companies to loosen their belts as revenues increase. The writing is the familiar word salad: Gender is not like some of the qualities of an angel round meant a collection of angel investments, and most VCs weren't interested in investments so small.

And the way to boost growth. Both did. Why should we care especially about civil liberties? This is what you think about when you take a shower. Founders never really liked giving up as much equity as VCs wanted.6 They're like someone looking at a newborn baby and concluding there's no way this tiny creature could ever accomplish anything. It may take a while, but as a predictor of success it's rounding error compared to the number of startups and think this can't continue. The Apple II was launched just two years later. In a startup you should have sufficient vision not to need this crutch. If everything you believe is something you're supposed to be able to cash out partially in a funding round, by selling some of their stock directly to the investors.

Notes

In every other respect they're constantly being told that Microsoft discourages employees from contributing to open-source browser would cause HTTP and HTML to continue to maltreat people who had recently arrived from Russia. It's conceivable that the founders don't have to sweat any one outcome.

If someone speaks for the ad sales department. Predecessors like understanding seem to have kids soon. That's the trouble with fleas, jabbering about some disease they'll see once in China, many of the increase in economic inequality—that economic inequality. I'm talking mainly about software startups are usually obvious, even the flaws of big companies funded 3/4 of their origins in words about luck.

You're too early really means is you're getting the stats for occurrences of foo in the succession of spectacular treason trials that punctuated Henry's erratic matrimonial progress made him an obvious candidate for grants of monastic property. Probably just thirty, if an employer. Http://doingbusiness.

You'll be lucky if fundraising feels pleasant enough to become merely stubborn. So it is to make money off their median investments.

If you want to. Investors are one step upstream from economic power, in which you ultimately need if you know whether you're a nerd, just harder.

The bias toward wisdom in ancient philosophy may be overpaid. I didn't need to know how many of the 800 highest paid executives at 300 big corporations found that 16 of the 3 month old Microsoft presented at a 5 million cap. As we walked out we ran into Yuri Sagalov.

#automatically generated text #Markov chains #Paul Graham #Python #Patrick Mooney #Founders #Common #money

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ninja8tyu · 5 years

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I was told literally 4 days ago to not make threats, and within that span of time, I’m reminded of why I gave up on rational reasoning a long time ago.

1) People don’t care about the facts.

Oh, maybe the lucky few care, but majority of people are pathetic expendable sheep who jump onto the bandwagon, regardless of where it’s headed. It doesn’t matter how many goddamn facts you slam onto the table, every single goddamn human on this planet goes “b-but... my morality and feels...”

Like fuck sakes. What am I supposed to do about that? Call the FBI or some shit and have them deal with this shit when the topic’s about something that can negatively impact, ruin, or even kill massive amounts of people? Then that really wouldn’t be any different than using force, now would it? What’re the FBI and crap gonna do? The same kind of “hey, don’t do that, here are the facts, calm down” that many others, not just me, have attempted to do but failed to succeed?

To be honest, I feel like people try too hard to copy Gandhi. He even failed in the end when his killers were executed despite his preaching of non-violence. Ironic, isn’t it, that the kindest man promoted violence with his death, despite even feeling sorry for his killers in his last moments.

So yeah. Kinda pissed. Why do I have to play a saint for a steadfast sinner? I doubt anyone tried to talk it out with Osama bin Laden and ISIS when they massacred innocents “for allah” and shit. Try Hitler.

That, and people twist the facts for their own agenda. I remember some textbook cited a study that disproved the positive correlation between violence and video games, but of course, the textbook said there was a cause between the two in the positive direction, when in reality, the study proved a negative correlation.

2) People don’t listen and aren’t open to change in the slightest.

Oh, maybe the lucky few care, but majority of people don’t listen at all. I can count the amount of “those are good points” said by someone else on my hands, and god if I had a penny for every “lol too long not gonna read” or “lol k sure” I’d pay off the US debt, fully fund everyone’s college education, pay off everyone’s student debt, and somehow still be ungodly rich by the end of it.

Thing is, you can’t change someone who isn’t willing to change. That’s on them. And sure, anyone could say “you can’t control them, so focus on what you can control,” say that to the Jews during the holocaust. CAN’T CONTROL HITLER, BUT HEY, YOU CAN CHANGE YOURSELF. Seriously, already throughout history, we’ve justified murder for stupider reasons than for justice and peace. Besides for bad reasons, stripping the rights of the Japs in America for peace and terrorism prevention? I wonder how many people died from maltreatment.

While we’re spending our time trying to talk them down, let’s let the bodies pile up from direct and indirect causes rooting from the bastard we’re trying to “civilly reason with.” I can prove with a lot of facts on several issues I argue for that there is a direct and/or indirect cause that will increase the deaths of people via suicide or shootings, but of course, I doubt anyone would care, even if I cite literally every single academic paper on Earth.

3) Might makes right in the very end.

“Huh, that makes sense. I’ll stop bullying you,” -a nonexistent bully.

Seriously, if you were a slave, try taking back to a cruel master and telling them to stop because it was wrong. Try being the wimpy kid telling the big fat son of a bitch bully that “what you’re doing is wrong and uncivil” and see if that piece of shit will go like “alright, I’ll stop.”

Every single time, a bad person was stopped because the little guy became the bigger guy, or there was a bigger guy for the little guy to turn to. Tell the little terrorist to stop executing people for allah because they’re hurting people who don’t deserve it. No no, go. Trust me, they won’t shoot you or anything. They’ll DEFINITELY stop.

The reason why bad people wouldn’t stop? Why would they listen to someone clearly weaker than them? Only when you’re on-par or stronger than them is when they’ll listen. My narcissist brother stopped trying to go for a punch after he broke his itty bitty little pinky and fingers when his wussy punch went straight across my cheek, and started listening and talking quite a bit more after that incident.

Which is, honestly, quite hypocritical of me because I don’t do any fighting. I just shout and rant like a motherfucker about issues instead of go out and actually do things.

And sure, I could get the bigger guy. They exist. The teachers, the feds, whatever. Thing is:

a) You can’t rely on others all the time. Call them over for every issue, you know. Tire them out until they can’t do anything. An organization is finite, and its finity is composed of easily tired humans. They also need time to act as well, so what to do when time is of the essence? Just keep crying for someone else?

b) More personal than general, but I’ve had a bad history with asking others for help, only to not receive. Thanks, teachers. I really sense the concern </s>.

The issues I have and want to fight against are also issues that no one can just take down with force. It’s ideas. Ideas that people act on and people give power to, which hurt people who have done nothing wrong or wasn’t born just like the others.

Well, technically, eliminate everyone with that idea and it’d be gone, but that wouldn’t work, due to several technical and ethical issues. So uh, no.

To simplify why that wouldn’t work:

case 1) successful genocide

The idea still exists within culture and creations from it, aka books n’ shit.

case 2) burn all the books

The people can still spread it. Hurr durr.

case 3) try both?

People can just reinvent it down the line of history.

case 4) omnicide?

Are you an idiot?

In summary: allowing the idea to exist and be disproven will limit/stop the harm done of the people who let said idea affect them in the future.

Thus I introduce you to my unending loop of dealing with stupid people:

Solution 1) Talk it out civilly: wouldn’t work for the reasons above.

Solution 2) Violence and force: wouldn’t work for the reasons above.

The only ways out of the loop are the following:

Escape 1) Drag the ones capable of change out, gain new perspective, possibly help bring others out as well. [Issue: more time passes, more bodies pile up]

Escape 2) Eliminates the ones causing harm and thus minimizes/stops all harm henceforth. [Issue: doesn’t solve underlying problem]

And unless someone wants to accomplish the same task (end unnecessary pain) perfectly, it’s the acceptance of one of the issues to be inevitable and unsolvable.

Personally, I cannot tell anyone who I can’t help the words “well that’s just life” if I choose to be civil, nor be the one who tells who I can’t persuade “this is for the greater good” because in either situation, it’s fucked up for its own reason. So yay, neverending internal conflict.

And finally, “why don’t you just ignore them?”

Because I’m not normal (wow, what a surprise) within societal standards, mainly due to aspergers and other mental oddities, and some of this shit I’m “fighting” (as in rant and complain about) for kinda pertains to whether or not I’m gonna die in the future.

Anyway, that’s all. A therapist sometimes interrupts my train of thought and I end up forgetting to say the stuff I did here, thus never letting me actually resolve the issue.

I still need a professional tho. Need to find and schedule one soon.

#rant #sfw

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