#anyway every puppy is immortal until the day they aren’t thank you and good night

[exercise-of-trust]

it's 6am and your newborn twins have been up crying all night and you just came outside to find your third son back from summer camp with an immortal puppy as big as he is. good luck

[fonulyn]

fonulyn’s 2020 in fics

this is kind of exciting since in 2020 I did get a lot writing done, and it marks the second year in a row that I’m able to actually make one of these posts after that horrible not good at all terrible disastrous three and a half years when I wrote absolutely nothing. so it’s a triumph to get another one of these up! personal victory haha.

in total, in 2020 I wrote 148 fics, ranging from like 200 words to 34k (idk if those short things can be called fics but i just did). by pairing, there’s

13 of Joe/Nicky

58 of Piers/Leon

56 of Chris/Leon

(1 with Piers/Leon and Chris/Leon)

5 of the ot3 (Chris/Leon/Piers)

11 of Krauser/Leon

3 of Wesker/Chris (lmao still can’t believe this)

1 of Chris/Leon/Krauser

so. in retrospect, i did okay. 

it’s over 300 thousand words and I am kind of. surprised. and that is not counting the approximately 50k of wips i’m ignoring :’D

I’d also like to take a second to thank everyone who has ever sent me nice messages, commented on the fics, left reblogs or kudos, and the like. you’re what kept me going, I wouldn’t have gotten even half as much done otherwise.

without further ado, links to all of the fics under the cut! they’re organized by pairing, and the links take you to tumblr posts (bc I’m lazy) and a lot of them have a link in the post that takes you to ao3. (also can you see I put ~~so much~~ effort into naming the tumblr ficlets :’D feel free to laugh at me)

Joe/Nicky

a dog by any other name | 1,5k | The one wherein they end up owning a dog.

within the heart a flame of desires | 5,0k | Nicolo watches Yusuf have sex with others, desperately wishing he was with him instead. Until things change. He much prefers having Yusuf all for himself.

the world will wait | 2,4k | The one wherein Joe takes a lot of naps and the whole team gets to relax.

catch this | 650w | Every time Joe gets distracted (by Nicky), Andy tries to take him by surprise.

nobody’s perfect | 1,9k | Even immortal warriors have their weaknesses, Nile learns. Those just aren’t what she expected.

only in these arms | 780w | Nicky has trouble sleeping alone. Andy is a decent substitute, but only when Joe returns so does Nicky’s ability to get a decent night’s rest.

(please don’t explain) that time in Malta | 580w | Nile doesn’t think at first it would even be possible for Joe to be embarrassed. By anything. Until one evening, they talk about Malta.

cool it down boys | 400w | Andy gets no sleep. She gets revenge, though.

cowboy, baby | 340w | Nicky has the fashion sense of a sack of flour, and he is fine with that.

that day is not today | 4,9k | They struggle through the whole lab-experience. It isn’t the time yet to forgive Booker.

tea, soup and tlc | 2k | The one wherein Joe is not sick. At all. Nope. He isn't.

two drinks too many | 770w | Nicky is a little drunk. Joe loves him anyway.

safe haven | 3,9k | The one wherein everyone gets quality cuddles from Joe.

Piers/Leon

it was you that I found | 23,4k | Leon doesn’t really do relationships. Not because he doesn’t want to, but because he always seems to be so bad at them. Of course entirely by accident he manages to build one without even realizing it. 

unexpected visitor | 690w | Piers is forced on bed-rest. At least Leon stops by.

got me all tied up (never let me go) | 4,0k | Piers doesn’t like suits. Leon loves Piers in a suit.

not so subtle | 210w | “Soo, were you checking me out all night, or was that just my imagination?” Leon asks suddenly, Piers chokes on his drink in surprise.

nighttime fools | 4,8k | Piers and Leon get arrested for public indecency. It’s not their fault, honest.

piers isn’t sick, really, he isn’t (he is) | 670w | “Oh, hi,” Piers said immediately, a goofy smile slipping onto his face. Man, he was happy to see Leon. So happy to see him.  

so you’ve met Xena | 620w | “Xena?” Leon turned to look at Piers, decidedly unimpressed. “You named your dog after the Warrior Princess?“

you’re cute, you know | 680w | Piers took the opportunity the second their gazes met. He grinned, as charmingly as he possibly managed, and said “You’re cute, you know that?“

kiss the nightmares away | 470w | Sleepily Piers blinked, trying to make his eyes work properly. He squinted at the digital clock on the bedside, and its harsh red numbers that told him it was 3:30, and confusedly he turned to frown at Leon. “Why aren’t you sleeping?“

smooth talking, Nivans, very smooth | 1,4k | Piers can not control what comes out of his mouth.

dream a little (dirty) dream of me | 1,3k | Piers wakes Leon up. That's it.

your shirt is my shirt | 950w | With a sigh Piers grabbed the only shirt available that wasn’t battery operated and obnoxious. It was Leon’s, so old that the print had faded completely, leaving only faint outlines behind. And when Piers pulled it on he grumbled again, realizing how tight it was.

here for you | 620w | Leon can’t sleep, but somehow Piers makes his anxieties bleed away. 

grand plans | 260w | “Are you seriously going to wear that?”

new puppy | 430w | “Hey there little guy.” Leon bent down to pick up the little puppy, straightening again to hold it against his chest. His hands looked almost comically large as the dog was so tiny, and carefully he cradled it close.

a little bit funny | 850w | So maybe Piers hadn’t slept properly in days, and the sleep deprivation was making him a little hysterical, but he didn’t even remember when a stupid comedy would’ve made him laugh so much.

for now our time is here | 4,4k | When Chris had told them to wait up and left them alone for a while, this probably wasn’t what he’d been expecting, but the second he’d closed the door behind himself the tension that had been brewing between Leon and Piers had snapped like a cord.

wanting too much | 1,1k | “Fucking hell, never do that to me again,“ Leon huffed out, clearly relieved beyond anything.

the prettiest agent with the prettiest hair | 1,2k | Piers stress-braids. Leon doesn't mind. And besides, Piers always undoes the braids whenever he's done with them. Until one night he forgets.

you can be the air that i breathe | 1,0k |  It wasn’t the first time Piers got punched in the face by a gigantic BOW so hard that the hit sent him flying. It was, however, the first time he was sent careening off a bridge and into the river below. And it was, definitely, the first time Leon saved his life.  

before I found you | 890w | The second Piers realized that the spikes covering the monster actually came off, and it was able to shoot them towards its attackers, it was already too late for him to react.

you don’t need to stay | 950w | Piers did his best to take care of Leon.  And as much as Leon appreciated it, he didn’t want to be a goddamn nuisance.

need me, baby, just a little stronger tonight | 2,1k | Leon really has to practice perfecting his poker face. At least he gets what he wants in the end.

be my valentine | 920w | “Are you sure?“ Piers asked for the tenth time, frowning down at the bar of Fazer blue chocolate. “I still think it’s… not a lot?”

you're the world that I wanna discover | 7,5k | The one wherein they buy a house, fall even more in love, and Leon reaches a breaking point.

call me (tell me what you feel) | 1,7k | Leon is stuck at the airport. At least he gets a nice phone call with Piers.

incentive to stay alive | 1,0k |  "Hey, Nivans, wake up,” he tried, but there was no answer, and he couldn’t help but let the worry in his voice. “Piers. Don’t you dare die on me. Chris would kill me if I let anything happen to his best sniper.”

blanket hog Leon | 880w | Grumbling, Piers turned around, and as he’d expected Leon was cozily wrapped in at least four blankets, leaving nothing for Piers, who was currently freezing his ass off.

I give you all I am | 2,0k | “Leon?” Piers approached in quick steps, watching recognition flicker in Leon’s eyes as he lowered his own weapon too. Leon was slumped against the wall, hunched over and holding his side, and there was something feverish about his eyes. Yet as soon as he realized it was Piers he gave a shaky grin, even if that was all he managed.

why are the gorgeous ones always taken | 810w | Piers blinked his eyes open slowly, expression scrunched up, and it took a long moment before he managed to actually focus his gaze on Leon’s face. When he did, a smile immediately bloomed on his face, and he even tilted his head a little. “Have I died and gone to heaven?” he croaked out, his voice rough from lack of use.

still intact | 1,1k | It took a week before the level of painkillers was correct and Piers woke up with a gasp instead of a scream. And the first thing he asked was for someone to kill him.

of guns and ...guns | 270w | Leon likes the way Piers handles his rifle. There’s drool involved.

always fashionable | 540w | Apparently having a crush on the well-dressed, professional Leon translated into being absolutely fucking in love with the sleep-mussed and squinty Leon.

misplaced phones and revelations | 660w | Chris finds Piers’ phone. Which turns out to be Leon’s phone. The two turn out to be dating. Chris feels kind of blind.

yee-haw! | 1,0k | Leon rides Piers. Wearing a cowboy hat.

you’re cute when you’re angry | 620w | When he’s stressed, Piers washes the dishes. Angrily.  

want to drink (with) you | 1,1k | Piers is an embarrassing drunk. Leon loves him anyway. 

and each one of us is a path somewhere | 22,2k | Piers gets thrown twenty years back in time. Into Raccoon City, 1998. He’d heard about what Leon went through that night, but he never thought he’d have to actually experience it himself. Together with bright eyed rookie Leon.

hold me close | 560w | Leon falls asleep against Piers’ shoulder. 

goatee man | 890w | Piers thinks growing a beard might make him look more manly. 

promises kept | 2,9k | Leon finds out Piers isn't dead after all. He's just locked up in a BSAA research facility with no one allowed in to visit.

stay with me tonight (stay until the end of life) | 2,2k | Leon doesn’t know I’m contacting you, but a fair warning, because I’m worried. He was found unconscious on the bathroom floor at 10AM. They took him to the hospital, but he checked himself out. Look after him, okay?  

4am | 760w | “What can I say,” Piers grinned against Leon’s neck, “I was dreaming of you.” He had no reservations about moving his hips, letting Leon feel just how nice the dream had been.

caffeinated | 550w | Someone gives Piers coffee. Leon knows what to do with that excess energy.

and i'm you and you're me | 7,0k | The one wherein Leon and Piers accidentally swap bodies.

girls’ day in bed | 780w | Piers and Leon wake up one morning with boobs and other assorted lady parts. It’s a fun day. (Spoiler alert: they have a lot of sex.)

worlds apart | 3,2k | Krauser kidnaps Piers to lure Leon to him. (feat. past Krauser/Leon)

not again | 530w | Watching Piers’ mutation brings Leon some very unfortunate flashbacks. (feat. past Krauser/Leon)

gorgeous | 300w | Piers calls Leon gorgeous.

the most comfortable pillow | 350w | Leon falls asleep with his head on Piers’ lap.

beautiful | 840w | Even after losing an arm and ruining half of his face, Piers is the most beautiful thing to Leon.

as seen in adult films | 580w | Piers doesn’t know one damn thing about dishwashers. He volunteers to fix one anyway.

never letting go | 260w | Leon is goddamn comfortable right here. He isn’t going to move a single inch.

nose kisses | 390w | Piers is cute when he’s cranky. Just ask Leon.

no other half could ever make me whole | 6,3k | The one wherein they get a scare and there's a proposal.

the luxury of being held | 690w | The fabric of Piers’ hoodie is the perfect place to hide. (feat. Theo’s amazing art)

just one step from heaven, one step from paradise | 2,7k | The one wherein Piers makes sure Leon doesn’t freeze, and they enjoy their vacation.

all is fair in war, love and Mario Kart | 600w | Piers sucks at Mario Kart.

Chris/Leon

if i never see all my dreams come true, the one that mattered the most was you | 5,9k |  Chris enlists Leon’s help on a mission as a clever ruse to make the man take a break he so obviously needs. 

and I don't want to know how slow the time must flow | 11,1k | Chris and Leon try to fight their way out of a castle and feelings take over.

you are my heart, you are my home | 3,2k | Chris is sick, and he’s being extra dramatic about it.

from the gates of longing | 5,5k | Chris volunteers to take Leon home, but ends up getting a lot more than he bargained for.

how to accidentally get adopted - a guide by Piers Nivans | 2,3k | Piers accidentally keeps calling Chris dad, and Chris and Leon sort of unofficially adopt him.

right here by your side | 1,9k | When Chris shows up to check up on Leon, four days into his self-imposed flu-exile, at first Leon wants to just throw him out. But then it turns into a relationship-building moment and suddenly he can’t mind all that much.

about time | 1,8k | Leon is freezing. Chris warms him up.

yet you'll lose yourself in me | 3,3k | The one wherein Chris is generously proportioned and Leon kind of loves it. (whispers: size kink)

beyond tomorrow | 1,7k | Leon ends up in the hospital after a mission, Chris hurries to see if he’s okay. Claire is already there.

look at those heart-eyes | 180w | Quickly Chris shook his head, reluctantly pulling his attention away from Leon.

there’s a cat in the sink | 220w | “There’s a cat in the sink, and we don’t own a cat.”

from the future | 300w | It’s 1998 and Leon comes face to face with himself, from 2017.

surprise redfield | 250w | “Don’t worry,“ Chris says, nonchalantly as if it’s an everyday occurrence that he’s standing in Leon’s kitchen.

need this feeling to last (there's no denying) | 2,4k | “Why don’t you fuck me yourself, you coward!“

something solid, something good | 520w | Chris was so warm, and that together with all the glorious skin-on-skin contact made Leon happily sink back into the embrace.

come closer | 520w | Leon is done with Chris being so careful around him.  

your arms around me | 690w | Chris woke up cold and alone.  

a needed break | 440w | Sometimes Chris got so single-mindedly stuck on a task that he forgot everything around himself.

the iron maiden | 820w | Suddenly it was hard to breathe, like he couldn’t fill his lungs with oxygen no matter how much he tried, to the point that his vision started to get blurry. 

robin hood: chris in tights | 480w | Chris’ face was twisted into a theatrical grimace as he tugged a little on the green tights we was wearing. They were like painted on and although he didn’t really have body issues in general, he couldn’t help but feel self-conscious about it.

luckless romance | 4,0k | Leon and Chris turn a drunken argument into something better. (Please note: The link takes you to the last part of six.) 

take my hand | 920w | The worst part, by far, is not seeing anything. There are sounds, people talking like he isn’t even in the room, machines beeping and doors opening, quick busy steps against the floor.

let me take you to the edge of the stars and back again | 3,0k | Chris takes his sweet, sweet time before he gives Leon what he wants.

I’m going to seduce you | 1,1k | Jesus Christ, they’d had sex. Leon groaned again, this time less because of the headache and more because he felt so unbearably dumb. He’d probably had the best sex of his life, and he couldn’t remember it.

a little help | 430w | Those fucking idiots, Claire thought for the millionth time, as she watched her brother give the biggest dumbest heart eyes at Leon, who was blissfully oblivious about everything going on around him.

the way to anyone’s heart (the answer is food, good food)  | 2,4k | Chris asks Leon to teach him how to cook. (Spoiler: Leon doesn't know how.)

oh the horror | 270w | “I seriously don’t understand why you want to watch this shit,” Leon groaned, pressing his face into Chris’ chest.

jealousy | 670w | Chris swallowed hard, downed the last of his beer, and took the leap. “I’m jealous okay.”

twist me up | 510w | Sure Chris had always known that Leon was flexible. Sure he had seen him even do these weird-ass yoga poses more than once. There was nothing new to it.

meet the parents | 600w | Leon brings Chris home for Christmas.

precious cargo | 930w | Chris lugs Leon around like luggage.

it's always been you | 870w  | The hardest thing for Leon was when someone he cared about was in danger but there was nothing he could do about it. And then Chris fell into a ravine.

come away with me (to another world) | 2,0k | Leon finally gets a vacation.

first time sucker | 930w | “I don’t know, because it’s fun?” Leon said. “I promise you, you’re missing out.”

read my scars | 1,9k | Chris learns about Leon's scars.

battered and bruised | 650w | Ignoring the bruises and scrapes he had, Chris turned around and sprinted towards Leon, gritting his teeth against the strain moving put on his side.

a different kind of proposal | 500w | “If you keep fucking me this good,“ he breathed out, unsure if Chris even heard the words, “I’ll have to marry you.“

welcome home | 370w | The door had barely fallen shut behind Chris when Leon was in his personal space, grabbing him by the lapels of the trench coat he was wearing so he could pull him in close for a kiss.

I’d always choose you | 280w | Ada was something they didn’t talk about. When someone, anyone, brought her up Leon clammed up and changed the subject. And Chris had tried to be understanding, had tried to be patient, had tried his very best to respect Leon’s boundaries with this. But Chris was only human.

fuck or die | 1,7k | Chris gets hit by a weird plant, and his hard-on just will not go down. Until Leon takes matters into his hands.

i need a hug | 470w | “I think,“ Leon sighed, but then it was like all fight bled from him and he slumped a little forward. “I need a hug.“

oh no there’s only one bed | 990w | “Don’t be ridiculous. It’s just one night. I’m sure you’ve slept with worse persons than me.”

the butt that became a pillow | 420w | Chris falls asleep on Leon.

like father like son | 2,8k | Leon finds out he has a son.

monster magnet | 1,1k | Leon didn’t know when it had become something he recognized so easily. When had it become so normal for mutated creatures to look at him with such unadulterated lust.

please be okay | 620w | Leon faints from sheer exhaustion. 

like father like... grandson? | 4,1k | Liam proposes to a girl but ends up with Piers anyway. Chris and Leon are the friendly neighborhood grandpas. Their grandson is adorable, and Leon thinks he takes after him. Obviously. (feat. Piers/OMC)

black lace | 790w | Chris gets to come home to Leon in thigh high black lacy stockings and matching lingerie, instantly sending Chris’ brains into an overdrive.

at least let me help | 790w | Leon opens the door an inch, Chris uses the given opportunity to slam it wide open. Metaphorically speaking.

bridal style | 200w | Leon refuses the medical check up. So Chris carries him.

dance with me | 1,0k | Wedding planning with two schmoopy idiots in love.

drunken cravings | 480w | Chris and Leon are drunk, hungry, and incapable of cooking.

blow me | 650w | Chris gets his brains sucked out through his dick.

Claire knows best | 610w | Chris tries to set Leon up with Claire. Then Claire does set Leon up with Chris.

chase the demons away | 940w | Chris struggles with nightmares, Leon is there to hold him through them.

dance me to the end of love | 550w | Leon struggles to learn to dance.

Piers/Leon, Chris/Leon

fate changed (we keep loving as if the story isn't over yet) | 34,3k | In hindsight, Leon knew the second he opened the door and saw Chris standing there, dressed in his service uniform, mouth pinched to a grim line and unable to meet Leon’s gaze straight. There was only one logical reason for it, only one way to explain why he was standing there like he would rather be anywhere else, and Leon almost slammed the door right in his face. --  Or the one wherein no one really knows how to handle their grief, but somehow life goes on anyway. (I’m still so proud of this one negl)

Chris/Leon/Krauser

hearts beating fast (let's make this moment last) | 5,7k | Chris gets invited in for a threesome. The clever thing would’ve been to refuse, knowing his unrequited, helpless feelings. But then again, he’s just a man.

OT3

double the fun | 3,1k | Truthfully, Leon hadn’t thought his day could get this much better. Everything had gone wrong from the second he’d woken up and he’d already written the day off entirely, until the moment Chris had looked him dead in the eye and asked “How do you feel about two at once?”

of cuddles and blanket forts | 620w | Piers and Leon build a blanket fort. Chris would think they’re idiots, but they might actually be kind of brilliant.

hair straightener or waffle iron? | 310w | Chris and Piers break Leon’s hair straightener.

the last piece of the puzzle | 2,7k | The one wherein two becomes three.

not alone | 2,3k | Completely on accident, Piers and Chris happen to be there to save Leon from a tight spot. Cuddles ensue.

Krauser/Leon

drive me crazy (your eyes made me crave for this) | 2,3k | It was the best sex Krauser had ever had in his life. That’s why he kept coming back to Leon, kept saying ‘yes’ every single time the man as much as hinted that he might be up for meeting. He was getting off, and he was enjoying every second of it, and that was the extent of it. There certainly weren’t any feelings involved. None. None at all. 

enjoying the view | 200w | Krauser likes ass-watching.

carry me to bed | 440w | Slowly Leon was coming back to his senses. Sweat was cooling on his skin, the hard surface of the table underneath him starting to feel uncomfortable.  

and I lied that we would be fine | 1,1k | Leon knows he isn’t supposed to be doing this. There’s a vague recollection of something more important, something he should be focusing on, but the vast majority of his world has narrowed down onto the slick slide of their bodies, on the cheap scratchy sheets on his skin, on the sound of Krauser’s voice in his ear, and he can’t bring himself to care.

yet never enough | 1,9k | Krauser likes mirrors.

of wanting | 400w | Leon’s laughter echoed in the room as Krauser pinned him against the wall, before shutting him up with a ravenous kiss.

better with you | 590w | Despite knowing Krauser had his back, Leon was genuinely surprised when the man sat down right next to him instead of telling him to suck it up and get moving.

breakfast | 530w | Lately things had slowly begun to shift. And Leon wasn’t sure yet what was going on. Or how he felt about it.

kill me now | 900w | It was more than clear how much Krauser enjoyed their frantic attempts to kill one another, and Leon’s traitorous body shivered in response, the memory of times long gone returning like no time had passed at all.

lust that I've already spilled | 1,4k | “C’mon, Leon,” Krauser taunted, grinning as widened his stance. “This cock isn’t gonna suck itself.”

will you just look at me | 650w | Krauser refuses to do feelings.

Wesker/Chris

I am the light that shall lead you to darkness | 1,8k | In all honesty, Chris wasn’t entirely sure how he’d ended up here: a panting mess, bent over a massive wooden table with Wesker holding him down laughably easily. 

the light to drown in darkness | 2,0k | Wesker craves Chris. So Wesker takes Chris.

love-hate-(obsession?) | 470w | Wesker is a lovesick fool. If he wasn’t also a homicidal maniac, Jill would almost feel sorry for him.

[strawbebehmod]

On the long journey home

Another guard dog au fic This one taking place just after the promised day. Enjoy.

Warning: Angst

His body was wracked with pain as the alchemic lightning engulfed it. He cried out in agony as he felt like his limbs were ripped from him. His throat felt like it was being ripped out as he continued to scream. He swore the scientists were talking about something as they tortured him, but he couldn’t hear them over the sound of his shouting and the howling of the animal they had wheeled in beside him. All of a sudden it all stopped as he found himself in a dark space. He blinked as he looked around in confusion before a spotlight opened up on a figure. He shielded his eyes for a moment before he gasped as he saw the familiar tall man. His hair was slicked back. His sunglasses covered his eyes and his torso was covered by a black vest with a white fur trim. Dolcetto heart nearly stopped. “Greed?” he whispered before a smile broke out across his face. “GREED!” he cried, running towards him. However, he slowed as he noticed the man wasn’t smiling, his usual toothy grin. As he pulled off his glasses, Dolcetto stopped as he saw the forlorn and pained look in his eyes. It was if the man was almost pleading with him. “Greed?” he questioned, worry in his voice, “Greed, what’s wrong?” He didn’t get a response, however, as the platform Greed was standing on suddenly became a hand and folded in on itself. “NOOOO!” the dog chimera cried, reaching out towards him. He looked on in horror as blood seep through the crevices between the fingers. There was a low rumble of laughter as the owner of the hand revealed itself. Father towered over him, smiling evilly. The monster suddenly uncurled its fist and raised it up to bring down on the dog chimera. … Dolcetto awoke in a cold sweat, panting heavily. He glanced around in the dark to find himself sitting inside a dark, cool space. It smelled like dirt, and the floor beneath him was hard stone. However, he knew he wasn’t back in the lab as he was lying inside a sleeping bag. With his night vision he could make out a lantern and a pack of matches next to him. He quickly stuck them and lit the lantern to get a good look around him. He glanced around to see that he was inside a tent. He sighed as he remembered. They had made it to the ruins of Xerxes the previous day, and stopped for the night there. They being himself, Lan Fan, Ling, Mei, her panda, and their two escorts. They were headed back to Xing to deliver the secret of immortality so that Ling may become emperor. Dolcetto brought his hand to his face as he took several deep breaths, trying to calm himself down. He had had the first part of his dream so many times, that it was easier to calm himself down from now. He could remind himself the pain was gone. He wasn’t in the lab any more. He wasn’t going to wake up to another damn experimentation. He was safe. And now he could add the fact that any surviving personnel that had experimented on him and his friends were arrested and were going to be put on trial in the near future for their crimes. That thought definitely helped. But the second part…well that had just started recently after Greed’s death. His shoulders shuddered and he brought his forehead to his knees. as he remembered his friend’s passing. How he had been ripped from Ling’s body and crushed by Father between the monster’s teeth. That idiot…If he had just stayed away from him. If he had just been close enough to stop the homunculus…he would still be alive right now. Dolcetto growled and rubbed his eyes, catching the salt water that was starting to form. He reminded himself that the last thing Greed would have wanted was for him to be crying over him. He might even tease him about it. He did when he first met Greedling after all. “What? You crying over me? Boy you must have gotten soft when I was away. Next you’ll be telling me you adopted a barrel full of puppies! Though if you did that would bring up the question of would that make you a dog parent, or just a parent parent?” Dolcetto chuckled as he recalled the memory before frowning. He had lost him one before, but the last time had been different. He still had hope the homunculus was out there somewhere. Now he was gone for good like the rest of his friends and it stung. He felt so alone. He sat up and sighed as he rubbed his hands down his face. He then glanced over to his bag where his flask was. He was no alcoholic, but he always kept some on him if he needed two shots to ease himself back to sleep after a particularly bad nightmare. They all had. It was one of the perks of living in a bar. He considered taking a few swigs but decided against it. He wasn’t exactly inconsolable right now and he really should be saving it for a particularly bad night terror. He yawned as he slipped back into his sleeping bag, ready to fall back asleep…That is until he heard a gasp and panting come from the next tent over. His eye snapped open in alarm as he heard the panting continue. It was then follow by some kind of muffled whimper. He also smelled something. What was that? Were those…stress pheromones? With another whiff he was able to confirm it. There was no mistaking it. He remembered that smell very well coming off of people during the promised day, during the raid, at the lab…He shudder, pushing the thought from his mind before he turned his head in the direction of the noise. He remembered that Ling had the tent next to him. Was the kid alright? Dolcetto grabbed his lantern and got out of his tent. He shivered slightly in the cool desert air as he walked the three yard distance over to Ling’s tent. As he did so, the noise got a little louder. Yup, it was definitely coming from him. “Ling? You ok in there?” He called quietly as he approached, “Ling you alright?” The noise stopped almost immediately. There was a pause before the boy spoke. “Yes…I’m fine,” he responded carefully. Dolcetto raised an eyebrow. “You sure? You sounded like you were upset in there,” he said. “I’m afraid you were mistaken. I assure you, there is nothing for you to worry about,” he reiterated a bit more forcefully. Dolcetto frown. “Ling, I can smell the stress pheromones coming from your tent all the way from mine,” he stated. Ling cursed under his breath at Dolcetto’s dog senses. “Fine,” he sighed, “Come in.” Dolcetto did so, lifting the flap of the tent before entering. The teenage prince scowled at him as he entered. Ling hair, which was down for once, was a total mess. It was clear the boy had been tossing and turning in his sleep. “What do you want?”he asked, clearly annoy. “To make sure you’re alright. You sounded like you woke up from a pretty nasty nightmare,” he said, sitting down across from him. Ling frowned. “Thank you for your concern, but I’m not a child,” he said, “I don’t need to be coddled after I’ve had a bad dream.” Dolcetto frowned at him. “First of all, I’m not here to coddle you. I just want to make sure you aren’t having a panic attack alone or some shit,” he said, “Secondly as much as you probably hate to admit it, you were CRYING a few minutes ago. It takes a lot to make you cry, so something really serious must be up.” “So spill it kid,” he said, “What’s got you so upset?” Ling glared at him before sighing. As he did so, his eyes looked much older than he was. The were worn and tired, for more reasons than a lack of sleep. “…I had a dream about the Promised Day,” he admitted, “About what happened to both Greed and Fu, I…” He bit his lip trying to contain his emotion, although some of still slipped through into his voice. “I couldn’t save them…” he admitted guiltily. Dolcetto winced. He couldn’t image how the kid felt, not fully anyways. Although it was true he had seen Greed die too, and he had been the dog chimera’s closest friend, Ling had him living inside his head for over a year. They were “soul mates” so to speak. It was impossible to not be extremely close with the homunculus under such circumstances. And to top it off, he had to feel the philosopher’s stone be ripped out of him, his friend be pulled out of his body. That couldn’t be anything less than traumatic. Oh, and not to mention he lost what was essentially a family member on the same day. How the kid wasn’t a mental wreck right now was beyond him. But he definitely knew how he felt when he said he wasn’t able to protect them. That was the whole reason why he was still alive it seems. He would have died at the Devil’s nest protecting Martel and Roa if he hadn’t been knocked out cold. And he probably would have died like Fu at the hands of Fuhrer Bradley trying to protect the Briggs soldiers if Falman hadn’t held him back after he had gotten injured. Instead all he could do was just sit back and watch from a distance as good men were slaughtered and his closest friend was destroyed by the one who made him. He had felt useless. Utterly useless. Dolcetto placed a hand on Ling’s shoulders. “It’s not your fault kid,” he said, “It couldn’t be helped. The old man made the decision to protect you when he knew he was gonna die. And Greed well, in that situation I don’t think there was anything you could have done.” That didn’t assure Ling as he looked down. “I could have held on,” he said. Dolcetto gave him a confused look. “Come again?” He said. “I could have held onto Greed. When Father was pulling every soul out of the stone, I could have held onto him longer and kept him there, but he told me to let go,” he admitted, “I should have held on…” Dolcetto frowned. “And how well do you think that would have worked out?”he said, “You said it yourself, the asshole was pulling every soul out of the stone. If you had held on, you might have gotten sucked up with them! Then what would have happened, huh? Who would be emperor then?” Ling shrugged. “Mei?”he suggested. Dolcetto huffed and rolled his eyes. “Sure, fine, but what about your friends?” he said, “If you died after getting so far, how do you think that would make them feel? Fu died protecting you. Lan Fan gave up her arm for you! What would happen to her if you kicked the bucket? She had just lost her grandfather, there’s no way she could handle losing you too! You’re the girl’s purpose in life. Hell, even I wanted to risk my life to see you reach that throne.” Ling went silent for a moment. “I suppose you’re right,” he said, “It’s just…I suppose I feel very alone right now. It’s hard to get used to not sharing a body with someone,” he said. “Well, you aren’t,” Dolcetto said with a sigh, “We’re all hurting here. We all’ve got loss in common. But I think that just makes us better able to support each other. You and Lan Fan especially. In fact you should probably talk to her about what happened. The girl may seem all tough and stoic, but if she’s anything like Martel she’s probably needs a shoulder to cry on right about now.” He felt a pang of sadness. Martel had always been tough as nails, withstanding anything that had been thrown at her. Beat downs, starvation, torture, anything those crazy scientist had in mind, but she would only break down if someone else she cared about was killed or seriously injured. In that way, Lan Fan reminded him a lot of the snake chimera. “Seriously though,” he said, “If you ever need a distraction or something to deal with the pain…just let me know. I probably could use it too.” Ling smiled at him. “I’ll keep that in mind,” he responded, “You know, you really are quite good at this whole supportive friend thing,” he said with a sad smile, “I think this one conversation helped me more than I realize…You’ve got a real talent for it, you know.” Dolcetto smirked at him. “Hey, maybe the dog they fused me with was a therapy animal,” he joked. This caused Ling to smile further. After that, Dolcetto bid him good night. As he headed back to his tent he felt his heart was at ease. For the rest of the night, not a single nightmare plagued either of them.

[togreblog]

Nessian - Part 4

So this has turned into a collab with @cataclysimic-star

she wrote a post which we consider Part one

I responded to her post with Part two

Within an hour we had Part three

(Part 5)

Nesta POV  (1930 words)

We had been training for weeks, Feyre wasn’t back, but in every other aspect, life had changed. My combat skills had advanced greatly under Cassian’s careful training, but not nearly as far as my magical abilities. As Rhys had thought  when I had first asked him about my magic, the power had been evolving as I had learned to control it - beginning by understanding the magic of the elements as Feyre had, then moving to Tamlin and Rhys’s and Cassian’s magic, only imitating the darkness, but to such perfect likeness, that I may as well have been the High Lady of the Night Court. The darkness was only an imitation though. The power I had been given could be fashioned in any which way I pleased. I used it like the demati, a gift that did not usually stem from magic, but from ones naturally gifting, but yet I could push this raw magic, not of the courts like Feyre’s, into someone’s mind and create a tunnel through which I could hear and see and delve into the minds of others. The mental shields that I had initially build had been the same as those any fae might construct, but now the walls were fashioned not of my own strength, but of the cauldron's magic that even the most powerful high lord to ever reign, could not break through.

Mor hadn’t changed much, other than her initial suspicion of us lifting to reveal an annoyingly cheerful soul underneath. Even in the midst of the war, she greeted me each morning and smiled when I agreed to let her help me with something… anything.

Elain was more quiet than usual, reclusive even. Rhys had tried explaining to me that if Lucien had felt the mate bond click into place and told Elain, then she would be able to feel the bond and therefore feel him at the end of it. We had tried learning basic shielding, from Rhys but neither of us had had much success. I knew that though she was quiet, his voice in her head was probably deafeningly loud. As much as it pained me, after a while we all just accepted that the best thing for her was to learn to block him out so that the voices would stop and so that she could say and hear things without them going directly to the right hand of the spring court.

Azriel hadn’t woken up for the first few days, so for him to be walking around was probably the biggest change in any of us. Although Cassian had only stayed in bed reluctantly until his wings were healed enough to not physically pain him, or enough for him to hide it if I had learned anything about the Illyrian in these last few weeks. I think that's why Rhys set him to train me, it was a job that needed doing and it wasn’t as strenuous as the training at the camps. He was changing too, the number of bandages on his wings reducing a little in the last week as the magically aided membranes knit themselves back together in a beautiful tapestry of scars. The more black started to show through, the less he looked like an angel, but the more time I spent training with him, the more I thought he was.

Which brought us to today. Cassian, shirtless on the roof. Me using my magic to cool us down. My skin tingling every time I punched him, just because of the contact. And Rhys planning a war from an office in a townhouse in a village that apparently didn’t exist. 

The lesson was over before I was ready to relinquish the opportunity to touch Cassian’s beautiful torso, but I didn’t say anything. I had never let anyone in when I was a human and I wasn’t about to start by swooning over some faerie, even if he was strong and fairly… ok really good looking and the biggest flirt I had ever met. My thoughts were interrupted by his beautiful deep voice calling out to me, “Hey, Sweetheart, we need to talk about tomorrow. No lessons sorry.” I cursed my heart as it sank at his words and fought to keep the frown off of my face, instead commenting on the possibilities of the day I could now spend as I pleased. 

“Wait, Cassian, why aren’t we having lessons?” Trying to hide the disdain in airiness and curiosity.

“Rhys has finally realised that he cannot win this war without me and is sending me… somewhere.” He stressed the last word and gave me a pointed look, clearly overjoyed at being allowed to resume his secretive work in the inner circle. 

“So take me with you.” I shrugged casually as he paused, assessing me, trying to gauge my motives. The look fell from his face leaving it blank and expressionless in a strangely beautiful, yet slightly sinister manner and he walked straight past me and down the stairs into the house. I gave a mental huff and scalded myself. “Nesta, you finally have a day off. Your muscles constantly ache as it is, use the day to rest.” I quickly made up my mind about what to do tomorrow, then marched right into Rhys’ office. “Is my training coming along well?” I pleaded with urgency. 

He raised his eyes to me slowly and replied hesitantly, “yes, I believe it is. Cassian tells me that he still can’t feel your punches through his leathers, but you are extremely fast with any form of weapon and have learnt to form them from your magic so you will never need hand-to-hand combat skills anyway.”

“Am I a trusted member of your court?” I paused long enough for him to think I had finished talking, the realisation of where this was going had been evident on his face and after considering his answer for a minute, he opened his mouth to speak, but I cut off his reply. “I know enough about your plans to destroy you so clearly you trust me.” Not a question this time, if I wanted to… persuade him to my way of thinking, I needed the upper hand. “I eat your food, I live in your house. I am clearly on your side in this war and have agreed to fight for my sister which means I fight for you.” 

“Nesta, did you speak to Cassian about this? Ultimately, I believe that you are the sort of person we need representing the Night Court. This is a war, you are strong and will show our allies and enemies alike what the King of Hybern is doing, and the power that we now hold, but I’m not the one you would be travelling with so it’s up to him, but I will tell him that he has my permission to give you any sensitive information, if he wants you to come that is." I smirked at Rhys and he groaned knowing that he had just given me the ammunition I needed to go against his own brother. 

When I left, Cassian was waiting outside, was I really that predictable? 

"I heard. THANKS A LOT, RHYS." He shouted to his brother before turning to walk away, out of earshot no doubt and pausing for me to follow. "So? Now that's it's your choice, do you want me to come with you or not?" 

His cocky, flirty facade faltered. He was stuck between being the strong warrior who went on secret and lonesome missions for the most powerful person in the universe and the opportunity to spend a weekend with me. I dared a step closer, how ever beautiful he and his muscles looked, basked in the morning sunlight on the roof, I hadn’t encouraged his affections, in fact, I had actively tried to discourage them on numerous occasions. My last relationship with Tomas hadn’t gone exactly to plan and the stories I heard from Mor did not exactly paint him as the kind of guy who wants a lasting relationship, which, in my new immortal body, could potentially be a very long lasting relationship. However, if brushing against him and looking up at him was going to allow me the chance to help the night court and my sister, then screw him and his flirting, I was going to use his own arrogance against him.

“Come on Cass.” I let my body brush against his, just as it had at my house in the mortal realm, but now taller, leaner and wrapped in leathers, I didn’t have to push so close and stretch up on my tip toes to reach his face. This time, though, I leant to the side and spoke over his shoulder, “you taught me, your teaching has prepared me, let me help save my sisters as you would want to do for your brothers. Do you still doubt my skills after I got you into this very vulnerable position?" With that, the memory of the moment I had recreated hit him with as much force as I had and he withdrew, not far enough that I couldn't still get him, but to allow him to anticipate my moves and stop me if I did. I gave him a smirk, "you're going to need my skills. After all, this is the only court with a High Lady and I have a small feeling that my charms will work better than yours, also my magic is stronger and I am clearly just more of a delight. Surely with a resume like that, you can't turn me down? What time do we leave?" I gave him another smile. This one not cocky, but sweet, turning a little bit pleading, then sad, ending with puppy dog eyes. He let out a frustrated sigh.

"Fine, but if your coming, you may as well winnow us, your magical imitations of wings aren't perfect and your flying isn't good enough. As much as I would cherish the feeling of you pressed up against me for a day, it's a bit far and as you said I may as well make use of your... charms, strength, magic and... delightfulness." He said the last word with too much of a gleam in his eye, but at least he was letting me come. I smiled at him, trying not to replicate his glint, "time?" I instead asked impatiently.

"9, on the roof."

We nodded, and I let my own facade slip, showing him the pure elation I felt at the opportunity to finally be useful. But only for a second before quickly turning away with my head held high. It was only after I got back to by room and stood in the hot showers, relaxing my tight muscles after today's training, ready for tomorrow's adventures, that I realised I had forgotten to ask where we were going and what we were doing. Unfortunately, I had a feeling Cassian was laughing to himself about the impression I had clearly been under about some glamorous visit to another court. Even so, I hoped I wasn't wrong but was already planning to put clothed for any court and any scenario into various shadow realms Rhys had taught me to use, lest I be surprised by Cassian's "trip."