#anyway find me and my 2 published fics on ao3 under the same username as my tumblr url🫶

[bepoets]

odd numbers (In Dreams (I'll Meet You In Warm Conversation) )

Unwritten/Unpublished Fic Asks

Thank you, Trish!!🫶

Okay first of all, for those who don’t know, “In Dreams (I Meet You in Warm Conversation)” is my very lengthy title for a tedbecca soulmate au I’m writing where Ted and Rebecca meet each other in their dreams long before they meet in person! Everyone cross your fingers that eventually I finish it because it is one of my favorite things I’ve ever written!!

1. What are you most excited about when you start to write it/publish it?

Are y’all gonna think I sound a little conceited if I say getting comments,,, I’m Sorry!! It’s true!! I love validation!!! There is no cooler feeling than getting comments from my friends being excited about something I made!!! That’s so fun to me!!!

3. If unwritten, when do you think you will start writing it?

Technically Some of it is written!! But I’m going to try and work on it this month, like hardcore sit-down-and-focus-and-write-time type work on it.

5. Is there any scene you're excited about writing?

Honestly every single dream sequence!! They’re so fun, and so full of little references to their future in ways that I just think are really cool!! Also writing Ted and Rebecca at a variety of ages is both nerve wracking and exciting and I cannot get enough of it. There is one dream sequence in particular that I cannot wait to write, it’s a little heavy but I’ve got it pretty well planned out so I can’t wait to tackle it!!

7. What are your plans for -Rebecca-?

My plans follow pretty closely to canon for s1 so far. Seeing as Ted and Rebecca don’t realize they’re dreaming with each other even after they’ve met in person because of … reasons !!!

Anyway!!! It sticks pretty close to the canon of s1 but I do have plans for Rebecca having a silly little tizzy when she realizes the person she’s been dreaming of for decades is Ted. Very much Rebecca dancing and yelling “top of the pops!” in s1e9 vibes but like … More. I really love when that woman is a little insane🥰

9. Is there anything in the fic you're not so excited about writing?

I’m pretty excited to write all of it!! I’ve been in love with this idea for so long I just want it to meet my little daydream expectations!! However, there are some parts where I have multiple options for how things could go and I’m not looking forward to choosing one because I love them all so much

11. Is there any scene you can't wait for people to react to when reading? Why?

A couple different ones!! I think their first dream meeting is very sweet and soft, and I’m really hopeful people that people will enjoy that!! As well as the big emotional dream sequence. Also I just love seeing the different things that people end up loving that I didn’t anticipate so like…all of them, all the scenes

13. Is there any unwritten/unpublished fics you haven't mentioned you're gonna do?

Considering I haven’t mentioned any of my unwritten/unpublished fics on tumblr the answer is so fucking many❤️ my brain won’t slow down it’s so many ideas and so little words!!! But there are a select few that I’m really really trying to push through and finish soon!!

15. Do you have any unwritten scene that you think about a lot?

For “In Dreams” I am literally always thinking about Rebecca’s inner monologue for when she meets Ted in person for the first time. It’s always there. Rattling around in my brain. It’s not written down but I have replayed it - at minimum - seven million times while folding laundry.

17. When publishing it, will you have a posting schedule or will you just update whenever?

I don’t intend to post it until it’s all written, but who knows!! If I do wait until it’s complete and it’s long enough for chapters like I’m planning it to be then I’ll post them 1 day at a time most likely! Or maybe once every other day.

19. Is there any scene that you feel is really planned out/going to be really planned out?

I have every dream they share before meeting in person very planned out!! In detail!!! Some of them are only planned out in my head but they are Planned!!! What I absolutely need to make very planned out is the reveal but that is a problem for future Brooklyn 😌

21. Is there any unwritten fic that you don't know if you ever will write?

For like a year and a half I’ve had a notes app page in my tedbecca fic plans folder that literally just says a lyric from the song “Marbles” by The Amazing Devil. (For those curious the lyric is “All the bastards applaud when I show that I’m flawed / You’re not flawed, darling, you’re just a little underrehearsed”) And I have tried so hard to figure out how I want to incorporate that or turn it into a fic and I really don’t think I’ll be able to!!! But damn do I love it!! So even if a fic never comes out of it, it’s still a nice lyric to think about and cry over!!

[ask-the-almighty-google]

@timepetalsweek

So, This is a tiny snippet for Timepetals... I had what you could call a family emergency with someone in the hospital from a deeply-infected wound on their leg, and my house is in chaos, but I still wanted to participate this year, so I kind of looked at all eighteen prompts over the six day period and cherry-picked the ones I wanted to use because I know that I won’t be able to do any one shots or once a day postings with all the craziness going on...

The snippet I’m going to post under the “keep reading” button is part of a WIP chapter from my Fifth Doctor/Rose Tyler fanfic “Something of the Wolf” on Ao3 under the username of Aelwyn. It’ll be a while before I finalize this chapter and actually post it, hence the reason a piece of it is appearing strictly on Tumblr at the moment, but I think I did the prompts I selected justice...

For context, in this very long fic Rose meets Five when he’s dealing with a pack of werewolves in a rewrite of the Big Finish Audio “Loups-Garoux.” She herself is a Werewolf, and a special space type one at that, and by this point in the story they’ve been traveling together for around sixteen years. The setting is in Castle Benger, which is on the planet of Vulpana - a planet inhabited solely by a different species of Werewolf - but they have a good friend in Mags there.

But anyway, here’s the six prompts I selected...

1.) “After all this time, it was always her.”

2.) Wolves.

3.) A picture of Five and Rose.

4.) Wife.

5.) “I don’t think I’ve ever wanted anything more than I want you.”

6.) Dancing.

...And underneath the “keep reading” insert you’ll find the story snippet. All credit goes to ask-the-almighty-google for Tumblr, or Aelwyn on Ao3 once this chapter eventually gets published in the future. Hope you enjoy.

They’d decided to have the ceremony in the castle gardens, and the Doctor tried not to fidget underneath the trellis arch as he waited for Rose to appear. “Relax,” Leela chuckled softly, laying a hand on his shoulder. “Of all the people I have known, I have never seen two souls as perfect for one another as the pair of you. This has been a long time in the making, Doctor. It does not matter that she is a Wolf of Leto any more than that you are a Lord of Time. It is as it is. And it is right.” “Forgot your people believed in the idea of soulmates,” he muttered, relaxing ever so slightly.

“Take her word for it old chap,” Alistair sighed contentedly. “From my perspective, you’ve been married for ages.”

“As encouraging as that is, Alistair, it’s also giving me future knowledge I shouldn’t have,” the Doctor chided, a soft smile turning up the corners of his mouth as he shoved his hands into his pockets and rocked slightly on his feet. He turned at the sound of a door opening and went entirely still mouth ever so slightly open but not drawing a single breath, as Rose walked across the grass toward him. 

The stars were shining and they made her loose, petal-adorned hair shimmer. Her whiskey eyes seemed to glow ever so faintly with a golden shine as they reflected the light of Vulpana’s four moons, and they saw only him as she walked toward him. It wasn’t a delicate walk. It was almost disturbingly predatory, the preciseness and fluidity of her movements decidedly Lupine as she stalked across the grass sending chills of anticipation and awe down his spine. Oh, but he was done for. Because, no matter where or when he was, after all this time, it was always her. Them. Finally, and permanently, together. Truth be told, the Doctor didn’t hear a word that Alistair said during the entire thing. He was barely aware of answering the questions correctly, of Leela claiming him as part of her tribe and consenting to the union or of Mags doing the same thing for Rose by claiming her as a member of her pack. He was only aware of Rose’s empathic presence in his mind, of her bright happiness soaking into him and warming every part of him. 

The vows said, Alistair helped them bind the handfasting ribbon and solidified the union in the eyes of Time. The last words were spoken as he knotted the ribbon, and the Doctor inhaled sharply as their timelines trembled with anticipation. Gallifreyan wedding receptions - at least the archaically-old-fashioned kind - held no formal sort of pomp and circumstance in them whatsoever. It was merely a garden party to round out the ceremony with dancing and food, casual and happy, and there was no special song for the new couple because their first dance held far more significance than following the generic steps to a common known melody. “You ready for this?” Rose whispered, already breathless with nervous excitement. “I am,” the Doctor breathed. She smiled at him before she put the blindfold over her eyes, and he chuckled before following suit. 

He used scent and touch to press his fingers to her temples, heard her gasp as he bound them just enough to let her sense their timelines. The first dance was so much more than the first public appearance of them as a married couple, and it was entirely unique to every single matrimony.

They were dancing to their timelines and tying them together, preparing to be one in the eyes of Time itself before a private permanent bonding of the minds later in the evening. The Doctor took a deep breath and let his Time Sense direct the movement of his feet. Due to the blindfold, his Time Sense was allowed to register Rose’s timeline in all of its undistracted brilliance. It burned a bright gold shining nearly white, and even from her position several feet away he could feel its heat against his own rolling over him in pulsing waves that kept time with her heartbeat. His own was cool and silvery-blue, sparkling like stardust and beating rhythmically in a double heartbeat staccato of the time signature of life. He was barely aware of his feet on the grass, of his torso and arms and legs turning and twisting effortlessly with the path of his existence. 

Oh, but he’d lived so long, and had such a while to go before meeting Rose... The Doctor gasped as he was drawn to her far before they had met, when he was but an adolescent that hadn’t grown into his new - and too long - academy robes. His fingers just caught the tips of her hair as she passed and he hissed at the shock of contact. He spun away again, nearly tripping over his feet from the limitations of trying to imitate a serpentine movement with a bipedal skeletal structure, and relived in a flash an excruciating amount of years spent in loneliness. His timeline brightened faintly as Susan joined, dimming again when she left. He spun and felt his forearm brush against her elbow as she continued on her own journey, and he ached to follow her warmth even as he was carried farther and farther away. She was the acceptance and welcoming and home that he had been denied on Gallifrey, what he had been running toward and never finding. 

Time moved, and he with it. So many places, so many times. Jamie, and Victoria, and Zoe. A suppressed memory of time spent in a Spanish hacienda just outside Seville that he wasn’t allowed to access, and his fingers brushed over her shoulder. They kept meeting, he drawn to her like a moth to flame, as she crossed his past from somewhere in her future. Still they danced, separate but for a few moments of bliss, until they reached the point in their lives when they collided. The Doctor sighed as he soaked in Rose’s healing warmth, feeling it like a gentle summer rain after the relived years of abandonment, and he felt over the empathic connection that she was letting herself be soothed by his calming and steady presence in much the same way. I don’t think I’ve ever wanted anything more in all my lives than I’ve wanted you.

The dance took on a new tone as they moved in parallel tandem but never touched, drawing closer and closer together until they were circling each other in an ever-tightening, ever-slowing, spiral. At last, they cruised to a halt with one of his hands resting lightly at his waist and one of hers featherlight touching in between his shoulder blades. Their free hands were clasped tightly together, the fingers so flawlessly twined without any gaps, and as one they leaned forward to rest foreheads together.

[cookiedoughmeagain]

Annual writing self evaluation - 2017

I was tagged by @grey-haven :)

*All answers should be about works published in 2017

1. List of works published this (last) year

In order of published date, most recent first:

A Hand in His Hair : Haven, Nuke, Rated E Haven Crew Prompts : Haven, Various, Rated G Were you ever going to tell me? : Haven, Nuke, G I Just Wanna Feel … : Haven, Nuke, E Real Distraction : Haven, Nuke, E Out of Space and Time : Haven, Daudrey, E It's Not a Date : Sometimes I write stuff that's not Haven! This is Peluso/Finn from Conviction. Rated T

Wanna make this more interesting? : Haven, Nuke, E After the Troubles : Haven, Various, G Take Care : Haven, Threegulls, G Coffee Break : Haven, Nuke, E Here Be Dragons : Haven, Nuke, G Duke and his boat cat : Haven, Threegulls, G Spun Around : Haven, Nuke, M Nuke and ThreeGulls Sketches : Haven, Threegulls, Nuke and others, T Around the World in 80 Arrest Warrants … : Haven, Nuke, G I Will Always Find You : Haven, Nuke, T I Wasn't In Any Club Last Night : Haven, Nuke, M Five different moments in the life of Duke and Nate, and one that happens without them. : Haven, Nuke, M Vacation : Haven, Nuke, M Proposal (with @grey-haven​) : Haven, Nuke, G What Do You Desire? : Haven/Lucifer crossover, M Life Lessons : Haven, Nuke and Gloria, G Wedding Rights : Haven, Nuke, G High School : Haven, Nuke, T 1983 : Haven, Nuke, G Nefarious Creature : Haven, Nuke, E Have a little Faith : Haven/Buffy Crossover, Nuke / Faith, M Fear and Processing : Haven, Nuke, T Snippets From A Life That Might Have Been : Haven, Threegulls, T Mistletoe : Haven, Nuke, BalfourBryant, T Waking Up : Haven, Naudrey to Threegulls, E Long Distance : Haven, Threegulls, E Up Past Lookout Point : Haven, Threegulls, M A minute can last forever : Haven, Threegulls, E Addicted to the feel of her skin : Haven, Mara/Nathan, E Hey Kiddo, : Haven, Duke and Gloria, G If the Wind Changes : Haven, Threegulls, G i lik the fandum : Various fandoms, mostly Haven Game Night : Haven, Threegulls, E Moment by Moment : Haven, Naudrey to Threegulls, E Confidence is a Preference : Haven, Naudrey to Threegulls, E All Alone In The Night : Haven, Daudrey (sort of), M Every cloud has a silver lining : Haven, Threegulls, T Afternoon Luxury : Haven, Threegulls, T The Power of a Touch : Haven, finale fix-it, G You Think You Ever Would? : Haven, Naudrey becomes Threegulls, T

So, that's 91.5% of last years fics are pure Haven, 86% of those are Threegulls or Nuke and 46% of those are E or M rated smut. No real need to ask what inspires me to write, huh?

2. What work are you most proud of and why?

Probably Nefarious Creature because it started off as two different things and took some time to combine into one. Also I love where the title comes from. And the mix of smut and heartache.

But I also love I Just Wanna Feel …, the Fake Phone Number ‘verse (e.g. I Wasn’t in any Club Last Night) and the Nate Hansen AU series - Just because they are fun:)

3. What work are you least proud of and why?

I can't really pick any of those as something that I don't like. One that I find frustrating is Around the World in 80 Arrest Warrants, because I love the concept and I want to write more for it, but that is proving to be difficult.

4.  A favourite excerpt of your writing

One of many possible options, this is from I Just Wanna Feel …

-

“Fuck off Duke,” Nathan said tiredly and turned to leave.

“Wait, Nathan don't let me scare you off. Stay and have a drink, you'll settle in.” Duke reached out as he spoke, grabbing Nathan’s arm to stop him from going, in a largely automatic gesture given that he knew Nathan wouldn't be able to feel it.

Except Nathan did feel it, Duke saw his surprise and his eyes flick automatically to Duke’s hand with a slightly stunned expression. Duke moved a little closer, partly blocking Nathan’s exit route against the crowd of people behind them. “It's happening again, isn't it?” Duke asked, intrigued. “Your Trouble’s fading.”

“I am not interested in talking about it with you,” replied Nathan.

“OK,” Duke said in acknowledgement. He didn't step away though. He moved a little closer instead and placed the palm of his hand on Nathan's forearm, fingers curling around to the soft skin inside. “Then you won't be interested in telling me why I shouldn't be doing this,” he said as his thumb traced a small circle on the inside of Nathan's arm.

“Duke,” Nathan said, careful and low; half warning him to stop, half pleading with him to carry on.

Duke moved his hand up towards Nathan's elbow, fingers stroking along the inside of Nathan's forearm, following the veins and feeling Nathan's skin shiver in response. He watched Nathan for a reaction, noting that he did not seem very interested in moving his arm away.

“Why deny yourself this?” Duke asked. “You know that I can separate sex from … well, anything else. It doesn't have to get complicated. It doesn't have to mean anything.”

Nathan's eyes flickered closed for a moment against the softly wandering tips of Duke’s fingers and his thumb which had now reached the inside of Nathan's elbow. “What would you get out of it?” Nathan asked after a moment.

Duke almost laughed, thinking A gorgeous man about ready to beg for my touch . Instead he just said, “You're so responsive. I think we could have some fun,” and he stepped a little closer as he pushed his fingers further up Nathan's arm, reaching under the edge of his t-shirt.

“I don't think…” Nathan began, hesitantly.

“You think too much, is the problem,” Duke suggested, adding, “Tell me to stop and I will. Move away and I'll let you go.”

Nathan did not doubt the truth of that. Duke might be a criminal, he might be many things, but Nathan had never seen any indication of him trying to force himself on anyone. He wouldn't need to for one thing, Nathan thought; he'd never seen him short of options for partners. Which kind of backed up the ‘it needn't mean anything’ concept, from Duke’s perspective anyway. Meaningless sex was something Nathan himself had less experience with; it was a concept he had not previously been interested in.

Duke’s fingers pushed further along Nathan's arm, reaching closer up to his body, and he tightened his grip a little as he pulled their bodies closer together.

Nathan thought about pushing Duke away, as he had before in the station. There would be something very satisfying about saying ‘No’ to the cockyass bastard. But, he did not want an end to the sensation of a hand on his skin. He did not want an end to that at all, and so he thought that maybe it was time he explored this ‘meaningless sex’ concept.

Nathan cleared his throat and shifted his weight forward a little, “Don't stop,” he said.

-

5.  Share or describe a favourite comment you received

I've not really had any negative comments, so I love pretty much all of them. I love the comments from friends who I can be fairly sure will find something to like in what I post, and I love the comments that come out of the blue; those from a username I've never seen before, or from someone who has clicked on kudos many times but it's this one fic that prompts them to write a comment :)

6.  A time when writing was really, really, hard

To be honest, my main struggle so far * is simply finding the time to do it. Or when I somehow come up with the most smutty plot idea when I'm at work and can't do anything about it. Or getting half way through one thing and then thinking of something else and not knowing which to work on first. Or my enthusiasm for something I've *just* written threatening to overtake me so that I post it without some much-needed editing.

* I say “so far" though, because I've only been doing this for a couple of years or so and it is entirely possible that at some point I will run out of ideas and spend my time staring at a blinking cursor instead.

7.  A scene or character you wrote that surprised you

The smut. All of the smut, in the sense that I never would have expected to write any.

And Addicted to the Feel of her Skin, because I never thought I would write something that dark.

8.  How did you grow as a writer last year?

Honestly, I don't know. I don't know if I did, but I kept writing so I probably learnt some lessons along the way.

9.  How do you hope to grow as a writer this year?

As long as I keep writing I'll be happy, but maybe I should think about branching out into some different fandoms. Or at least some other characters ;)

10.  Who was your greatest positive influence last year?

I have to agree with @grey-haven about the positive loveliness of the Haven fandom ... @beyondtriumvirate @yumearashi @serendipityxxi @fiore-della-valle @balfoursyard @queenbookwench @spankedbyspike , and @grey-haven too of course!

And Fragilelittleteacup on AO3 whose wonderful ‘Liquid Courage’ fic inspired my A Hand in his Hair. And @grey-haven for inspiring Spun Around.

And every lovely person whose name I don't know who commented or clicked kudos on my stuff :)

11.  Anything from your real life turn up in your writing last year?

Not directly. Themes do, all the time. Or at least, they turn up in the place I'm writing from, whether they're still there in the finished fic to the same extent I'm not so sure. Themes like trust and control, and whether you can ever really know what another person is thinking. Themes like how scary it is to fall in love with someone and how difficult it can be to take that risk.

12.  Any new wisdom you can share with other writers?

New wisdom? No. But some of the classics bear repeating:

Write whatever you feel, then go back and edit.

Finish something, then wait a few days and read it over again before you post it

Post it, and then go do something else (preferably away from the screen). Don't sit there clicking refresh to look for a reaction; it will drive you mad. 

Keep a notebook by the bed for the inevitable middle-of-the-night ideas. And in your bag (or find a phone app that works for you).

13.  Any new projects you’re excited to start this year?

um … more smut?

14.  Tag any other writers whose answers you’d like to read

This is the part where my mind goes blank:/ It's always interesting to hear about people's writing, so; anyone already tagged and anyone else reading this who wants to do it or wonders how many fics they published last year (it might be more than you think!)