#anyway here are my recommendations for said hypothetical playlist:

[dogencool]

I’m not really a character music playlist maker but I think any Hobie Brown playlist that doesn’t have at least one song from Dead Kennedys, The Damned, Pure Hell, and X-Ray Spex on it has something wrong with it

[aphrodite-would-be-proud]

omg so I read this manga this morning called Sesame Salt and Pudding and it’s ab this 22 y/o girl who gets drunk and accidentally marries a stranger, who happens to be 42. it’s the cutest lil slice of life just a really healthy relationship and all i could think was this would be the funniest meet cute for Erwin.

Thanks for linking me the manga website anon omfg you're a real one💙🐛

Alright so below is my 1am thoughts while reading it as i listen to a daddy/mommy issues playlist i found online and drinking green apples monster energy.

Tw: mentions of sex | Tw: suggestive words

Chapter one

The girl is really pretty, I'm really gay.

Wait so she married him while drunk and now can't remember anything?

This lowkey does look like Erwin without gel in his hair

...why can i see Erwin as the type of drunk to not only sign a wedding registration paper but also demand both of you must go get wedding ware, paying for your dress or suit.

Consent 👏yes👏100%👏the bare minimum👏Erwin values consent above literally anything else👏Erwin wouldn't touch you without permission even while drunk out of his mind👏again it's the bare minimum👏

An older dude that cooks & cleans while staying home as i go out and provide for us? This is my dream. Stay at home husband Reiner stay at home husband Reiner stay at ho

Ngl i think Erwin wouldn't know anything past basic cooking despite him reading all these cooking books and watching videos, i think if he really was dedicated he'd sign up for a cooking class go get high level skills just to impress you but treat it like it's nothing

...he didn't wanna stare at her chest so he went to clean the fridge- Erwin would def be that kind of gentleman to change his own attitude instead of ever telling you to change or cover up.

I love her job oh my god yes.

Ooo a love rival huh👀 is this gonna turn into a triangle situation

The only love rival I'd ever see for Erwin is Nile tbh, like i think if it was Miche, Hange or Levi then he'll talk it out and either him or the person backs off.

He gets gloomy when jealous huh~

THIS IS FUNNIER THAN IT HAS ANY RIGHT TO BE DOAKDJKAKSN I CAN'T.

I can't even imagine Erwin's reaction if you said this to him, like he won't even be mad he would just be really taken back, standing there like 🧍🏼‍♂️...he'd even be amused.

Okay- okay this is a good reaction...I think Erwin would say something similar but rephrase it to he more subtle yet somehow making it sound dirtier.

Something along the lines of, "well, if you're so sure then why don't you find out yourself."

And "after all i can't deny that i haven't thought about how beautiful looked last night...how the more beautiful you would've looked laying down."

"You looked like a really delicious treat"

"All pretty and alone, tearing about your worries, i just wanted to make you forget them all and leave the rest to me"

I should stop-

Chapter two

HE SAID HE IS HER UNCLE I CAN'T BREATHE I LOVE THIS

Oh shit he overhead them oh shit

Shit is going down oh god

Man if it was Nile in this hypothetical insert then he'd be hold this information like the petty bitch he is and use it at the date instead.

Chapter three

Ngl dude, i really hate it when they treat it like a women's reputation is all she has. I especially hate the purity culture of that a young women can't be a roommate with a man because "what will people say" like...if they're fucking who cares and if they aren't literally who cares? Do they realise gay people exist too and two women have an equal chance of sleeping together too?

It feels like they treat women as children, maybe I'm just projecting bc i live in a similar kind of culture where all these rules apply here if not more.

Anyway that manga is cute, it just angred me that these two men think they're responsible for solving her problem or as if they have any right to scold her or be angry like she's some kind of child and should listen.

It's her life, it's her problem and it's her who will solve it.

DUDE SHUT THE FUCK UP. he's really acting like a bitch as if he has any right to be angry or even judge her oh my god.

"Impure background..." Get fucked.

The only ONLY reason he even can be angry is because she didn't mention being married while they were going for a date but they didn't even go on that date and nothing was official so why does she have to tell him her private life.

RED FLAG RED FLAG RED FLAG HUGE RED FLAG

"get divorced immediately" HUGE FUCKING RED FLAG

Controlling Insecure cunt.

I'm sorry anon that I'm really going off on him and I'm sorry if you like him- it's just that i really really can't stand these things

THE MANGA IS LOVELY THO THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR RECOMMENDING IT I'D LOVE MORE WHENEVER💜

Oh baby, oh angel I'm so sorry you had to go through that, in no way is it ever right to get angry and yell no matter what especially since you apologised and admitted to your mistake.

Especially since he knew it was something you did while drunk and deeply regret it but he still took out his angry on you like you betrayed his trust when you weren't even together or like you intentionally did it.

Narcissistic dick.

I'm not talking about the next scenes because it might be triggering.

Chapter five

4 is missing :( idk how her parents visit went

We just started the chapter and-

Fuck her. Like what's up with toxic abusive people being too comfortable saying these things lmao like they actually take themselves seriously omfg.

Imagine saying this about Erwin tho, like it feels powerful to say. John maloney was right after all huh

Oh

Oh

So we doing this huh

👀

....oh :( we were just getting to the god part, man Erwin wouldn't have let a phone stop him.

Also bless the translator for their note at the end, it's good we're seperating fiction from reality and clarifying things to people on how to act in these scenarios.

Like drama is fun and all, I'm a huge sucker being extra, but things are different in real life and using fiction as a guide to how to deal with these, clearly written to be extra, situations should never ever be anyone's first choice.

Well that's all the 10 images tumblr will allow me in one post, i hope you had fun anon because i sure did! And i can definitely see this as a sweet wholesome Erwin/reader story, and if i ever did a an inspired rewriting of that manga with Erwin i can definitely see it being really fun to write!

Although i will change some stuff like that guy, i know people have good and bad sides but the guy specifically made me uncomfortable for personal reasons, i also Don't like mentioning serious things like anger controlling issues without diving deep into them.

Imma go finish the manga, if you want a part two, or have a different thing to recommend, please let me know💙

[xyloophones]

excuse the mess it made

i guess?? a tentative part 2 to the gay mixtape au with @thecookiemonster77 which literally started from a shitpost. i hope yall are happy

Against his better judgement, Yuuri calls the station again the next day.

He doesn’t plan to, it’s just–– well, Viktor was very cute in psych today. And he kept glancing back at Yuuri and giving him little endearing half-waves while their professor droned on about child brain development and, wow, he has the prettiest eyes and––

Listen, Yuuri never claimed to be a functional gay.

He’s been thinking about his call all day, flipping between feeling mortified and wanting to melt into the floor with happiness. Talking to Viktor yesterday, even briefly, was the highlight of his day. The way that Viktor had said Yuuri’s name, his voice all low and sweet and wow––

Again. Not very functional.

Half-way through his usual stretches, Yuuri decides that he can’t possibly embarrass himself anymore than he already has. He picks up the phone.

“And that was Get You by Daniel Caesar, featuring Kali Uchis. Another one for the playlist… and it seems like we already have a caller! I hope it’s Yu–– uh, I mean, I hope they have some unique things to say! Hello, caller!”

“Um,” Yuuri squeaks, “h-hi, again. It’s Yuuri from yesterday.”

“Yuuri!” Viktor exclaims, loud enough that Yuuri worries he blew out his mic. “Hi! Hello, welcome back! I was hoping you’d call again!”

“Oh?” Yuuri can’t help it. Something in his chest blooms, his heart thumping a hopeful melody.  He cradles his phone against his cheek. “That’s–– I wasn’t sure if it was okay to call again….”

“You can call me anytime,” Viktor sighs. There’s the sound of someone clearing their throat in the background and Viktor amends, “I mean at the station. You can call me anytime, here at the station.”

“Airtime, Vitya!” Someone in the background shouts. Viktor huffs.

“Take your lunch break, Yakov, I’m having a conversation. Anyway, Yuuri, did you call for any particular reason?”

“Um, you mentioned a playlist earlier? Is that the one for your Mystery Boy?”

Something crashes at the station.

“O-Oh, that playlist, yeah that’s… for him. If you–– or anyone!–– could, um, help me come up with songs for my Mystery Boy, that would be great. Yes.”

Viktor’s voice pitches up awkwardly at the end. Yuuri hopes he isn’t making him uncomfortable by asking.

“Well, I have some recommendations if you’d like me to––”

“Please! Any advice you would have would be greatly appreciated, specifically any advice that you’d say would personally work if say hypothetically someone were to try to woo you specifically. Any personal favorite songs would be great!”

“Ah, okay? Give me a second.” Yuuri delicately ignores the slight manic edge to Viktor’s voice. Wow, he must really like this guy if he’s this desperate for advice, from Yuuri of all people. Yuuri crosses the studio and bends over to sort through his bag, pulling out a battered blue notebook. “I love music a lot, so I have a couple of songs to recommend.”

“Oh?”

Yuuri hums quietly, thumbing through the pages of his notebook to find the list he’d written down earlier. “Yeah, I’m a dance major so I listen to a lot of music in a lot of different genres. It’s one of the reasons I love your show so much. You play such a wide range of songs.”

“You l-love my show?”

“I’m a big fan.” Yuuri catches sight of himself in the mirrored studio walls. He’s blushing bright pink. “Um, anyway, Think Bout You by Frank Ocean is a good song for the playlist. Frank Ocean has a bunch of other great songs, too.”

“I know! I love him! That’s funny, I was just thinking about adding this song in.”

“I guess you could say we’re on the same wavelength.”

“Wave––did you–– Yuuri, was that a pun? On sound waves?”

“I know, I know,” Yuuri chuckles, “Sorry, that was awful.”

“It was perfect,” Viktor breathes out. “You’re perfect.”

Yuuri doesn’t really know how to respond to that besides helplessly, looking out the window towards the blocky radio station building. Over the radio, a door slams. Viktor swears in Russian.

“Is everything okay?”

There are muffled sounds of a scuffle and some unintelligible yelling. Yuuri hears someone shout “you’re cutting into my airtime!” Eventually, Viktor comes back, sounding out of breath and irritated.

“I’m so sorry, I’m going to have to cut this short. Someone can’t wait his turn.”

“Your time slot ended 8 minutes ago and you have 15 backed-up calls,” Someone in the background grumbles.

“That’s it for the Stammi Vicino show today, but–– Yuuri?”

“Hmm?”

“Call back tomorrow?”

Yuuri grins. “Definitely.”

[soovaryit]

First off I don’t want this to come across as if I’m trivialising depression in any way. It is serious, as serious as any other physical or mental illness and can absolutely result in death and you should take it seriously. I write light heartedly about serious things because that’s my way of dealing with life but I’m not disregarding or commenting on anyone else's experiences but mine. OKAY srs stuff over (kind of). A lot of what is written or spoken about depression feels cliche, simplistic and ultimately unhelpful. In medical terms it is black and white (we’ve all filled in the forms) - in the past two weeks, how often have you felt like a failure? In the last two weeks, how often have you felt that you have let yourself or a family member down? I could literally recite the whole paper here. At the other end of the spectrum, usually in the media and in the arts, it’s poetic, or dramatic, or suicidal, or puts you a catatonic trance for months on end (which is true for some people and that's important to know). Both the practical and emotional aspects of it are important to recognise but I can’t help but think that depression is just something that needs be normalised for it not to get worse. Here’s my dramatic description of it. Depression is a parasite that buries itself deep, deep under your skin and is awoken at the most unexpected and inconvenient times. It manifests itself in new and ugly ways - making you forget your sense of self, turn against people who love you, preventing you from enjoying anything, causing you to nurture addictions to unhealthy habits and people, It’s always there, but it is only a part of you and does not define you, despite the fact that it is often SO hard to separate from you. I have mild/moderate depression that I never took medication for until September of last year when I had an episode that lasted around 5 months. I never even knew what an episode was but mine consisted of crying almost every day, thinking constant negative thoughts about myself and my life, shutting out people around me, drinking to excess, getting involved with problematic people, being incapable of looking to the future and of seeing any positivity in any situation. Overall - hopeless, tired, not worthy of happiness. The reason I didn’t medicate was because 1) I never wanted to admit that I felt depressed and 2) People don’t talk about their experiences on anti depressants very openly, and although I knew a few people who took them I didn’t necessarily feel comfortable asking them about it as I was cautious. I would say around 80% of my depression is from chronic pain. I know this because before endometriosis symptoms took over my life, I had very occasional episodes where I felt unhappy rather than it being the norm which I had to fight against everyday. I am a functioning depressive, I am one of those people that hears ‘omg but you don’t SEEM depressed’ in a situation where I reveal that I take medication for it.  First of all - never, ever say that to anyone with a mental health problem because it is extremely invalidating. Second of all, the reason I don’t seem depressed when I feel it is because I spent such a long time trying to bury negative feelings in the back of my mind that I am incredibly convincing at faking happiness and positivity. In my particular case, I don’t mind that, because often it gives me a lift or at least allows me to coast along until I feel relatively normal again. This is because my depression is mild, for some it can completely disable them and I would never recommend faking positivity that you don’t feel unless you get some kind of positive outcome from it (which I generally do). Don’t do it to make others comfortable if it makes you feel less comfortable. On that note though, even when I have felt in the depths of despair I think its important to try and communicate to those around you that they can’t expect anything from you because you are unwell. The way people to react to that is usually how you find out which people are the right ones to invest your time and energy in. I watched some Ted Talks on the topic of depression yesterday and something said in this one really struck me. Andrew Solomon talks about depression being perceived as a veil to outsiders - something that clouds your judgement, a layer of sadness over your true self. But from the inside, depression feels like you’ve finally found the (harsh) truth. People underestimate how real the thoughts feel, how sadness can become a state of being and not feel like something that will pass, but who you really are at your very core. For me anyway, that is what I fight against. A few weeks ago I increased my sertraline dosage and I don’t feel any better. Because I’m in a bit of a low right now, I tell myself its my fault. I’m grumpy, ungrateful, pessimistic, lazy, spoilt, a drama queen. I am lucky because I have now, to some extent, trained my brain to recognise that this is not the truth. I’m frustrated, irritated and upset by these thoughts, but I know that I am a person who is loved, full of confidence and motivation and that the feeling of wholeness will come back to me at some point. I know that it is not my fault when I’m not at my best, I just have to convince myself often.   I worry these days that I am more comfortable in being sad than happy. I am more equipped to deal with bad than accept good. But although it can feel like it, depression is not a permanent state of being for anyone. There is no way I could speak for others about this but the one thing that is true of anyone suffering is that it will get better because it has before. Even if just for a while, it will. That kind of sentence used to enrage me. But now I repeat it to myself in my head, I look at photos from good times with friends and family and think of all the things I’ve done that have been productive and kind and brilliant and I try and try and try to recognise that and not let the feelings of unworthiness swallow me whole.  It’s a difficult conversation to have with anyone. GP’s can be unhelpful and unfortunately so can friends and people you trust because of the stigma attached to mental illness. I even know people who hypothetically can sympathise with it, speak openly about how difficult it must be for people to experience it - but when it comes to you, they have nothing to say and don’t want to get involved. Because it is easy to understand in theory but not in practice.  My best friend Alicia is one of the people in my life who consistently amazes me with her positivity and resilience in the health battles that she’s faced and how she turns her discomfort into beautiful, powerful and thought provoking art that will help heal others. Although comparing yourself to other people is completely misguided, she has gone through 10 times what I have and is my beacon of hope and strength when I fall apart. Doctors constantly misdiagnosed her, put her on medications that only made things worse, treatments that failed and the way she continues to open herself up to people about her experiences astounds me.  On the topic of medication, it is also a subject with a lot of stigma attached to it when there shouldn’t be. I absolutely should have been on medication a long time ago and I wish I hadn’t kept my curiosity and anxiety about it to myself. Specifically in the context of chronic pain: constant pain makes you depressed. It is pretty much a fact. You will feel misunderstood and angry and pathetic and beaten down by things that others don’t consider a problem. It is a different way of living, one that requires you to constantly adapt to new drugs, new ways to retrain your thoughts, new and different pain all the time. Being in pain since I was 6 years old has made me carry a lot of negativity that I used to be very self conscious of (and guilty about). But now I recognise that it doesn’t make me lesser than anyone and that there is a lot of power that will come from sadness and the worst part of the battle is simply not knowing when it will come. (This is a super good Ted Talk on chronic pain btw - gives me hope! and also an astoundingly beautiful song on coping with shittiness, if you don’t know Amanda Palmer you gotta get to know and I’m V happy to share my excellent depressed playlist with you).

[indonestar]

I've been wanting to write something about this song for ages, so here I am

I kinda forgot why i want to talk about this song tho, but i do remember why i got into this song and i'm gonna start with that.

So i knew Kehlani from Jimin, and she reminds me of him the more i think of it (her sexiness, her major in contemporary dance, her birth year)

I hypothesized that jimin knew her from his dance choreographer because one of her choreos look exactly the same as bts' blood sweat and tears but that's another thing.

But this is not the song that jimin recommends. Instead, he recommends the song called 'alive' and i legit saved the song the first time i heard it. The song is so soothing, and the song's meaning and arrangement are tailored perfectly in my opinion. And that song made me check her other song and it was all dope. I haven't find a song that sounds weird or doesn't go well in my ears but i only saved a bunch because i'm a slow admirer(?)

Anyways, this song, contrary to 'alive', gives me a masculine vibe. The lyric is the type of thing you hear from a male-- being self-sufficient and stuff. (Not that females aren't self-sufficient, but i hear men talk about it more) and that led me to ponder about her sexuality.

Surprisingly but expectedly, (or it's expectedly and thus surprising?) when she talk about this song, she brought up the fact that she "likes men and women" and that's funny because that's just the vibe that i get from listening from this song? (That the song makes me think this song was about 'resisting' a girl in anything but platonic way) (she literally said this song is about a girl!)

So now that my formerly-hypotesis talk about her sexuality based on her music is true, it opened up a new possibility that kehlani's (hypothetically) feminine song being on Jimin's playlist is a hint of his sexuality?

Man, i don't know.