#anyway i had another idea for this college au in which lili asks if soo won has ever wondered what it's like to kiss someone

[kirayaykimura]

Soo-Won was hiding from a party. His housemates didn’t really need a reason to throw one, but this one was a celebration for the end of fall midterms, which meant more people going harder than an average weekend party, which meant Soo-Won was reading a book in the basement den that was strictly off-limits to anyone not living in the house.

Lili, who had never met a rule she didn’t immediately want to break, was an exception by virtue of being so annoying no one wanted to continue enforcing the rule with her. 

As such, Soo-Won did not try to stop her when she burst through the basement door at - he checked his watch - a quarter to one wearing a clearly borrowed shirt that was about four sizes too big for her. Nothing about anything was of his concern, so he simply continued reading about the history of the King Hiryuu mythology in the Fire Tribe. 

“Midterms are over,” Lili said, making her way over to where he sat perched on the end of the ugliest yellow couch anyone had ever laid eyes on. It had been around longer than anyone in the house could remember and had seen more things than Soo-Won would care to think about while sitting on it. 

“This isn’t for class.” 

“That makes it worse. You know that, right?” She took a seat next to him and asked, “What are we reading?” 

“We?” 

Lili did not dignify his question with an answer. Instead, she draped herself over his shoulder to peek at the page, boneless in the way only alcohol (or really good muscle relaxants) could make one. There was no way she was going to be able to focus on a fairly dry sociological account of one particular subset of the population as wasted as she was. 

“Historical non-fiction,” Soo-Won said, fighting off a smile. If he smiled, she would get ideas, which was bad because Lili was the type of person to move forward without any ideas at all. He absolutely could not let her know that her slight weight slumped into his side was warm and comforting because then she might think it was okay to do it again. Which, of course, it was not. 

“Fine,” Lili sighed. After a quiet moment, she said, “We don’t really believe in King Hiryuu back home. It’s weird that it’s such a big deal in the Fire Tribe.” 

He stood corrected. Even smashed, Lili could keep up with a fairly dry sociological account of one particular subset of the population.

Soo-Won moved to turn the page, but Lili clumsily batted his hand away.

“I‘m not done with the page yet,” she said, impatient and just slightly slurred. 

“Alright,” Soo-Won said. “You tell me when you’re done.” 

“Don’t patronize me.” 

“Are you this demanding with everyone or do you just think I’m a pushover?” 

“Everyone,” she said on a yawn. “You’re not special.” 

No, he knew that very well. Cursed, maybe. Doomed, almost certainly. But he was nothing special. 

“You can turn the page now,” she said. Then, “You smell nice.” 

“And you smell like you bathed in stale beer,” he said as he dutifully turned the page for them both. 

Her normal scent of jasmine and oranges was heavily masked by whatever keg the guys had gotten their hands on this weekend. It was unfortunate. He quite liked oranges. 

“Some doofus spilled all over me. Straight down the front of my shirt. This is Ramaru’s.” Lili plucked at the hem half-way down her thighs. Her jeans underneath appeared to have avoided the spill zone, though there was a stain near her knee that looked like mustard. Soo-Won was pretty sure that was all her own doing, though.

“Ah,” he said. 

They lapsed into silence as they read. Predictably, Soo-Won was done before Lili, and his mind wandered while he waited for her to catch up. He began idly planning the clean-up process in the morning, how warm Lili was, his essay for Politics in the Middle East, how soft Lili’s hair felt against his neck. He bet it would feel like silk if he ran his fingers through it. Also he had stat’s homework that was due on Monday and was only half-completed. 

Yeah, she was definitely asleep, wasn’t she.

He glanced at her out of the corner of his eye and found her eyes closed and mouth fully agape. 

Of course.

What am I going to do with you? he wondered as he gently set his book aside, careful movements designed not to disturb her. He could disturb her if he wanted to, though. They didn’t have the sort of relationship where casual touches were, well, ever present. That was how he preferred to live his life: at a healthy distance from everyone else. It would be totally normal for him to wake her up and push her away. 

He couldn’t, however, bring himself to do it. Midterms had been stressful for her, and she looked more peaceful than he’d seen her in weeks. She did not look good - her cheeks were splotchy from alcohol, some mascara was smudged beneath her right eye, and a strand of hair had attached itself to the gloss on her bottom lip - but she looked relaxed. 

He didn’t want to be the one to take that from her, which was why he held a finger up to his lips when Ramaru opened the basement door moments later. 

Ramaru froze, took in the scene, and whispered, “I was looking for her. Is she okay?” 

“Just asleep,” Soo-Won answered softly. 

“Cool. Party’s dying down. You want me to-” he mimed picking Lili up and carrying her out. 

“It’s alright,” Soo-Won said, almost without thinking. “I’ll take care of it.” 

Ramaru gave him a thumbs up and left as quietly as he’d come. As the door slipped shut behind him, Lili sighed, stirring. That was all the warning he got before her head tipped off his shoulder. She caught herself instinctively mid-fall with a hand slapped against his knee. Her manicured nails dug in as she sat up with a sharp intake of breath, clearly panicked from almost toppling over into Soo-Won’s lap, forcing Soo-Won to lean back as far as he could to avoid being smacked in the nose by the back of Lili’s head. 

“What happened?” Lili asked, looking around, words now horribly slurred from a combination of alcohol and sleep. Waahap’n. 

“Uh,” was all Soo-Won could manage for a moment. Everything had happened very quickly. “You fell asleep.” 

Lili leaned her forehead against his shoulder again and groaned. 

“Room’s spinning,” she said. 

Soo-Won tentatively gave her a pat on the head and said, “There there.” 

The thing was, he used to be so good at comforting people. He knew people, which made them easy to handle. Lili was just…weird, which made him weird in return. He had absolutely no idea how to deal with her most of the time. 

“Gimme five minutes,” Lili said as she lowered herself, this time on purpose, into Soo-Won’s lap, using his thigh as a pillow. Her legs curled up on the other end of the couch, feet tucked up snug against the back cushions. “I’ll go upstairs. Five.” Then, as if it was his fault, she said, “You should be softer.” 

And she was borderline incoherent. Great. 

Looked like he would be there for a while. At least he had a book to entertain him. Before he picked it back up, though, he tucked the strands of hair that were still firmly attached to her lipgloss behind her ear. The thanks he got was a nose twitch. He discovered her hair was, in fact, just as soft as he imagined it would be. 

Well, he thought. This is inconvenient.

[jyunshiim]

𝗅𝗈𝗏𝖾𝗅𝗈𝗋𝗇; 𝗋𝖾𝗃𝖾𝖼𝗍𝗂𝗈𝗇 𝗇𝖾𝗏𝖾𝗋 𝗍𝖺𝗌𝗍𝖾𝖽 𝗌𝗈 𝗀𝗈𝗈𝖽༆

Genre and themes: hanahaki!au | unrequited love | fictional themes | unwanted love | college!au | fem! reader X Hendery | fem! X Xiaojun |

TW:  blood

Listen to:  Moonrise by Day6  | 4am playlist

➪  You wait patiently. Quarter to 7am is when you leave your mellow apartment, that you rent out, to get to your university. It was a 1 long, boresome train ride to get to Seoul University; you studied incredibly hard just to pass the entrance exams so you were always determined to be on time and not miss a day. not even one. The sun was rising, setting the city aglow and despite just being past dawn, people were bustling around in the university already, grabbing coffee from the local cafe or a sweet treat they craved that morning from the nearby patisserie for their breakfast. Seoul was absolutely magical.

8:10am: You had an early Biology lecture that morning and you barely had time to grab something energising, not even an energy drink but it was common for you to miss breakfast for the first 3 hours. The air was light and comfortable enough to walk to classes. In summer, there were clusters  of sweaty students scattered on the verdant greenery of the school making it very hard to walk through. The hallways were incommodious and it was impossible to walk through without feeling the heat and stickiness of everyone skin brushing against yours and the pungent aroma of sweat. The lecturer was already in the room and a few students were dispersed around waiting for the lecture to start.You went and sat at the seat you always sit at -since first year university -and you put your belongings down on the desk and got out your textbook, small white pencil case and your apricot coloured, spiral spined notebook which you just purchased last week. you clear your throat quietly and put a strand of you dark hair behind your ear before you scroll through your phone to pass the last 10 minutes of waiting time, replying to messages from your best friends.

Coffee club-

You had a group chat with your friends; Sicheng, Hanna, Minseo, and Xiaojun. Xiaojun always treated you so politely since you were kids.you both went to the same high school and you were always seen as a cutesy couple but you both weren’t, of course.You guys were close but never shared any romantic feelings for each other, at least you didn’t. They were talking about meeting at ‘Kangmin’s Koffee’ after University; The cafe had always been a place where you all hung out after uni and shared what happened in the day over coffee. Of course you’d say yes because you love your friends so much. 

10:55am: 

After university, you packed up your textbooks and walked out of the lecture room sighing at your study schedule. You would notice students waiting outside the room and one of them was familiar to you,perhpas because you’ve seen him around with Sicheng and his friend Yangyang – but never actually knew his name. You signed out swiftly and walked out of campus and took a right and to the dainty little cafe cafe adorned with pink blossoming flowers and wooden chairs and tables.The cafe was opposite this beautiful florist that captivated all the local people. The flowers were always fresh and almost had a nostalgic sense to it. you just wished someone would surprise you with a bouquet but that was impossible since you never had time for relationships. Sicheng scooted up next to Xiaojun and the waitress brough over the 5 coffees that they ordered before you came. “i know you like hazelnut coffee with extra ice so thats what i ordered you,” Xiaojun smiled playfully giving a gentle nudge. You took a sip of the coffee and indulged in the saccharine coffee, the flavours mingling with one another, the caffeine flowing through your bloodstream. It was heavenly to you and only Xiaojun knew you had such a sweet tooth.

“ew stop acting like a couple,” Minseo spoke in her soft gentle voice covering her eyes jokily. 

“we are not dating!” you giggle and push him away and he sits and smiles at you endearingly. 

“you both look like you wanna eat each others face,” Sicheng teases and jokes with Xiaojun and Xiaojun gets defensive.

“I DONT,” his cheeks flare up a blazing red. He gets flustered and you all laugh but you comfort him. The atmosphere was entrancing, the laughter of you and your friends echoing down the bustling streets and the last bit of warmth fading into horizon along with the sunshine. September was one of your favourite months for this exact reason. Xiaojun always walked you to the train station before vanishing as soon as you board and go on your way. 

You walk into your dorm. The fragrant rose scented room invited you to your cosy apartment, the white fluffy rug between your toes making you feel as if you were  on a cloud, the warm fair luminescent lights hung from the ceiling giving the room a relaxing atmosphere. You sigh and sink into your mattress curling up into a ball but the chime of your phone alerted you. As you looked down at the bright screen, you drag down to see the notification. Of course it was Xiaojun.  

Xiaojun: hey, get home safe?

YN: yeah i got home okay, quicker than usual to be honest

Xiaojun: okay good! what you doing now?

YN: Probably going to make dinner now, how about you? you better not be playing games again and forgetting to eat:/ make sure you eat okay

you sounded like you care too much about every aspect but it’s fine you’re just friends, you didn’t want him to get the wrong idea.....

Xiaojun: yea i will, i’m studying for my Korean writing exam it’s so hard :<

YN: you’ll do well, i promise you :< ily

Xiaojun: you too! and thanks yn i know you will always give me the support 

Xiaojun offline

University was normal for the past month but as October came around, you felt this wave of motivation flood you. You wanted to change something or do something nice for yourself.  A cool halcyon autumns afternoon you and your friends met again at the cafe. It was a lot breezier outside than the last month; the sky was a painted an orangey pink hue and the street lamps illuminating the streets already. Whilst walking 20 minutes earlier to the usual spot, a thought sparked in your mind. You thought to get yourself some flowers for you apartment to fit with the autumnal theme. The glass door opens and the tingling chimes sound throughout the store and a worker gets behind the counter.The various fresh floral scents wafted past you; roses, lilies, gypsophilias and other various flowers and plants. You look around to see what variety there is and what you want for your bouquet-

“hey do you need any help,” a worker speaks to you. 

“i was wondering if i could get a combination of the pink roses and the gypsophilias?” You ask before whipping your head around to see a young boy, the same age as you you presumed and you paused examining his face. where have you seen him?

“wait, do you go to Seoul Uni?” you say with a sweet smile 

The boy smiles and you notice his little flower brooch; Hendery. “yeah i do, I major in Media production,”

“ohh yeaa you’re in my lecture room after my Bio lecture,” you recognised him, you just never knew his name.

His dark umber hair was floppy, perfectly waved in a way which framed his facial structure. As you looked at him making eye contact out of politeness you couldn't help but notice his glossy coffee orbs and the way he smiled so.. softly. It reminded you of Xiaojun. 

“ohh yeah,” he lets out a weak chuckle, “so roses and gypsophilias?” he begins to pick them up and take them to the table for the other worker to arrange them for you. 

“Yes please Hendery, thank you,” you smile and go to the counter to pay for them. Of course Hendery is taking your payment. As you hand your card, his fingertips brushed against your soft skin and you retreat, panicked. He moves his eyes to meet with your and you divert your vision to none other than your phone. “Here’s your card,” he slides it across the table to avoid the contact and smiles whilst returning a small bow too. He looks up and smiles again. “ your flowers will take around 20 minutes to be arrange and packaged would you be able to pick it up soon?” he asks following store rules and protocol of course... right?

“oh yes i’m at the cafe opposite with a few of my friends so i should be able to get them!” You smile and nod your head

“ahh okay! i hope to see you soon,” 

As you turn around and leave and go to the cafe opposite you can see him through the shop window mindlessly staring out of the window. You wave at him and he gives a shy one back. “yn! where’s our coffee?” Sicheng asks as he jogs over with Hanna and Minseo walking close behind him.

“oh i-” you stuttered

“she was on a secret date with someone, what’s that i smell? a new perfume,” Minseo teases

“nahh it’s definitely for Xiaojun, where is he anyway?” Hanna turns around and sees him running, holding his bag to his chest. 

“s-sorry for being late,” he pants his ebony hair messy.

“why is your hair messy?” you ask fixing his hair as he sits down “ it looks cute, right guys,”

They all agree in unison and Xiaojun chuckles, “ thanks guys,”

As minutes went on, they turned to an hour. You completely forgot to pick up your flowers but you still didn’t recall until you heard rustling and a throat clear from the left of you. The group stopped talking. “uh um hey, we’re closing up now and-” he puts the flowers into your hands. “see you around,” he smiles and head off. You looked at him on his motocycle driving off and you looked back at the group smiling and whispering.

“Its not what you think!” 

You friends look at you and then back at each other. “soo are you guys a thing or can i have him?” Hanna asks jokily

“NO I mean YEA I-” you try to think straight, this was really embarrassing “yeah do whatever he just happens to go to our university and works at the florist where i went to get some flowers for myself” – they all in unison said ‘ahh’.

Hendery became more talkative with you in university and as time went on you both became good friends. Hendery’s tender smile greeted you almost everyday and it was clear to see his shy barrier he had was slowly melting away to reveal his extroverted personality. Hendery was like a star beaming in a stygian night sky and his bouncy energy like a puppy waiting for a treat. Hendery had such a sweet winsome personality and you were happier than happy to be friends with him. One evening after University Hendery saw you outside waiting at the bus stop since you were on your way to meet the others at a Korean BBQ restaurant. It was colder and ever so dismal but as he walked next to you he greeted you and noticed that you were cold. “ You seem cold?” he tilts his head his soft locks being pushed back with his warm-skinned fingertips. “oh yeah well I’m a little dumb and i forgot to get a scarf or gloves. I didnt really know it’d be so cold today,” you let out a weak chuckle before rubbing your frostbitten hands trying to accumulate the body heat you had left. “Hey yn,” Hendery puts his hand on your shoulder and you feel a sudden warmth immersing you “take these,” he hands you his leather gloves “also are you sure you don’t want a lift to wherever you’re going? the buses are really full,” he informs you. You think a little bit. He has a motorcycle, you have to hold him. What will Xiaojun or the others think? You decided to take the offer. “if you don’t mind and if you’re free please join me in our meal!” you smile was gleaming and perfect. In his eyes.

You sit behind him and he hands you his helmet. “where’s yours?” you ask concerned. “oh don’t worry you wont be the cause of my death,” he jokes around “it’s not too far so we should be okay yn, hold tight okay,” he advised you. Your hands wrap gently around his waist and you felt butterflies in your stomach. Xiaojun hugged you and often playfully threw you onto the trampoline at his house when everyone was around and you were slightly tipsy. You felt a small pang in your chest. Rapidly, Hendery went from 0-60mph, zooming through the streets of Seoul. The city made you feel like you were in a movie scene running away with your true love, only right now it was a friend of yours taking you to the korean bbq place. The sun disappears and the moon replaces the suns place. The glowing orb in the sky illuminated the streets and reflected off the shop windows. It was peaceful, so serene. The abrupt stop meant that you arrived, your face slamming into Hendery’s back which made you move back quickly. “ yn, you alright there,” he smiles and lets out a little chuckle. You stutter slightly trying to pull the helmet off not knowing how you even got it on. 

“wait that’s not how you take it off,” he inches closer and gets to the twisted clip that got stuck to your necklace. He untwists the necklace being ever so careful and precise. You knew for a fact your friends could see you and this ‘mysterious’ guy outside standing only inches away from each others face. This only made you think... is this how people kiss? You felt his finger lift your chin up so he could see the buckle. “ahh i see the problem,” he smiles seeing the issue. The silver chain was jammed in the buckle and Hendery was gentle with you. This was NOT what you had planned. “AH! got it, you okay?” he asks you handing the helmet on his bike. “yeah i’m okay, thank you,” you gulp and he opens the door for you and your friends all exclaimed at the fact you finally arrived. You and Hendery both sit at the table; “ohh hey Hendery i didnt know would come too?” Sicheng fist bumps him and pours him a soju shot. “ I can’t drink, i’m gonna have to drive home,” he points at his ride outside and a subltle smile paints across his face. It was a little awkward, especially because of Hanna and Minseo since they didn’t know how to keep anything lowkey. Xiaojun always put extra beef on your plate and the girls kept teasing him. “hey, shes my best friend of course i’ll give her extra?” Xiaojun chuckle and nudges Minseo. “then why don’t you act like that with me?” Minseo pouts jokily and Xiaojun sarcastically rolls his eyes “okay Miss Kim Minseo, here is your beef and an extra bit of kimchi too” Xiaojun placed it on her plate and then of course Sicheng was joking around too pretending to be the girls mocking them playfully. To you, you looked at Minseo and Xiaojun and they...looked cute together. Besides your thirsty friends and the random pit in your stomach, the atmosphere felt euphoric; drinking soju, eating luscious  flavoursome food, talking and joking around with the people who you love the most. You sit and go for the water jug at the same time as Hendery and your hands collide again. why does this keep happening? You withdraw your hand away from it so he can pour himself a glass of water. “shall I?” he says holding the clear glass jug hovering over your glass and you just nod. 11:36pm. The restaurant was closing and everyone was en route home.

 The onyx night sky coruscated as the heavenly bodies gleamed, the solitary moon illuminating the street you stood on along with Sicheng, Minseo, Hanna, Xiaojun and of course Hendery. “Lucas should be here soon,” Sicheng says to Xiaojun as he looks at his phone and then loking back up to the road. You all waited for each other to go home so everyone was safe especially during this time of night. “How are you getting home yn?” Xiaojun asked. You stopped bretahing for a split second, “umm i’m not too sure? I can take a night train,” you say looking for your train card. You scavenge through your purse to look for it but it wasn’t there. The paleness took over your face and you looked up in panic; “ I don’t know where my train card went?” Xiaojun looked at you and put his hands on your shoulders, “ hey, it’s okay you can probably take a taxi home or even stay with Hanna and Minseo?” you thought about that but in fact you couldn’t since the girls had a small dorm within the campus which was only enough for 2 people and there was no space for an extra person. “It’s fine, I’ll find a way home” you say a little downhearted. “If you don’t mind I can drop you home,” Hendery broke the silence, grinding the floor with his heel. Everyone glance at him as if he were some sort of hero and you were the damsel in distress needing saving - but you knew that you lived too far and this was a reason why you’d only hang out after classes. “Hendery to the rescue,” Xiaojun and Sicheng praise him (as boys do) “ We trust Hendery, he’s a safe driver,” they reassure you but all you could do is give a weak smile back and move towards the motorcycle. As he hits on, he passes you the helmet and you decline the offer, “you’re the driver, you need it more?” you insist, concerned about his safety. “yn, trust me, nothing will happen to me,” You hesitate but take it and put it on your head and sit behind him. Your arms wrap around him again and Hendery takes a deep breathe, closes his eyes for a second and smiles to himself. He starts the vehicle. “i’ll see you guys on Monday!” You say to the others, looking at Xiaojun. 

Hendery drove down the incandescent streets of Seoul. Your fingertips fiddled with each other but they also rested on his stomach, the warmth of his body warmed you up on this cold journey home. For a little while, to have a break from straining your eyes, you closed them but your head unexpectedly rested in  his back and Hendery’s head twitched as if he was going to turn around but he couldn’t. It was soon after midnight when Hendery arrived to your apartment complex and you felt the hasty breaks. “you’re home yn,” he says and you shake your head blinking to see your home. “ thank you Hendery, thank your for joining me for our meal i hope it was enjoyable for you,” you say handing him his helmet back and stood on the pavement. “It’s okay, anytime honestly,” he smiles - so pure. so innocent. “maybe we should get a coffee together sometime,” he blurts out unexpectedly which came to you as a shock. “of course! you don’t have my number so you?” you ask him and he shakes his head. you both exchanged numbers and you knew that he would become a part of the coffee club...

A seed has been sown – A flower grows when it has been sown deep in the ground and eventually grows roots, a stem and blossoms into something beautiful. Beautiful things have evil outcomes.

You and Hendery started talking more over text and even call and of course sometimes there would be group facetimes where he would be included too. It felt amazing to have such great people and friends who were there for you although you couldn’t help but notice one thing. Xiaojun. One evening as you were cooking on facetime, you noticed Xiaojun texting someone on his phone, smiling, but not the kind where he found something funny. The smile where someone makes your heart flutter, like it’s on a million candy floss clouds floating to - well- who knows? You didn’t want to poke your nose in his private life but since you were kids, you told each other everything? whether it was embarrassing or not like the one time you fell in a puddle because you were too scared of a bee. 

“hey Xiaojun,” you say as you go closer to the webcam “why you so smiley for?” you sounded a little passive aggressive but you didn't mean to.

 “Just talking to someone,” he smiles but that’s all he says and your friends notice.

 “Hey yn, wanna go to the new boba themed cafe tomorrow?” Hendery asks 

 Sicheng gasps “OIOI let me come as well,” he says. 

Hanna frowns “ I have a Liberal arts examination tomorrow after uni, I can’t go but i hope you have fun! i’ll go next time,” she smiles. 

“how about you Minseo? are you free tomorrow too?” Sicheng asks whilst tackling his puppy that was trying to eat his phone.

“I have to help my mother.. with groceries” she nods with her sweet smile.

“what ‘bout you,” Sicheng tries to get Xiaojun’s attention

“o- OH me, I cant tomorrow sorry~” 

You had to go offline. You declined the call without notifying that you’re going offline.

That night as you sat on your phone on your chat with Xiaojun wanting to rant to him you stopped and deleted the message and slammed your phone down on your bed. Your chest hurt really bad, was it your asthma acting up again? You try to sit up and search for your pump in the bed side table where you put all your medication for easy access although when you used it, it didn’t work. Maybe you were just exhausted so you needed to sleep. Your phone chimes, it was Hendery:

Hendery: Hey, you alright? you seemed off on facetime and then left

YN: not really... 

should you lie?

YN: just going through a stressful time

HENDERY: do you wanna talk about it? i’m here to listen to you

YN: thank you but i’m not feeling well right now and i was half way through making dinner and i just can’t be bothered to continue. I wasted so much.... 

HENDERY: if you want i can help you out? I know Hanna has to study, idk about Minseo, Xiaojun has guitar practice now and Sicheng has dance rehearsals 

YN: thats what they said after i left right?

HENDERY: yea and I’m free so

YN: I mean if you want i dont wanna force you

HENDERY: anything for a friend

The fact that a new friend care about you more than your best friend who you knew since preschool

HENDERY: I’ll be there in around half an hour what’s your house number?

YN: ahh okay, I can pick you up from downstairs 

HENDERY: okay that’s fine :D

Hendery offline.

That evening when Hendery arrived, he brought extra snacks and ice cream as well as soju. “H-” you were cut off by him. “I know you like soju so let loose a little” he smiles “you didn’t need to buy me so much?” you exclaim. He goes over to your hob to see that you’re making cheesy tteokbokki with some ramen and were also half way through making a kimbap. “Easy meal, i can make this” he continues from where you stopped from. You kept looking at your phone to see if you got any notifications.. none. But you tried to forget about ti since Hendery was here to keep you company and you had someone to eat with. You felt suffocated so you opened your window a little to ventilate your apartment and you took a pump of your asthma pump and assisted Hendery with the food. The aura was serene and everything felt bright as if the stars had lowered themselves for you tonight. The food had been plated and the drinks were poured into glasses and you both sat on the couch facing the tv watching a show. “how you feeling?” he asks. You noticed that he asks you that quite often? why? “A little, you’re a good chef!” You compliment him and as you do you see his rather charming face glow up. Your phone chimed and you reached over for it and see the notification; “who is it?” Hendery asks, curious if it’s one of the others. “Oh, it’s just Xiaojun I don’t know what he wants right now,” you unlock your phone and read the message;

XIAOJUN: wyd

You felt your stomach spiralling viciously. were you about to throw up? Your chest began to hurt with affliction. 

YN: nothing hbu

XIAOJUN: I was talking

YN: to?

XIAOJUN: a friend of mine

YN: since when were you so interested in this friend that you’d ignore us on face time

You could feel it was getting harder to breathe and your cheeks were burning up red. “hey yn, you’re going red? easy slowly you might choke,”he coughed 

XIAOJUN: why are you so passive aggressive? if i’m annoying you i can go

YN: and talk to this friend, okay

XIAOJUN: ?? 

YN: nothing, I’ll go back to hanging out with Hendery, at least he cares.

XIAOJUN: you’re with Hendery!! Since when were you and him a thing! I’m happy for you :D

YN: we’re fucking not. he’s my friend... it’s a shame how my childhood best friend doesn’t give a fuck about me

yn is offline.

XIAOJUN: yn? what? what happened what did i do

XIAOJUN: lets talk this out

XIAOJUN: hello? come back online, i do care.

XIAOJUN: yn...

xiaojun is offline.

You threw your phone on the floor and got up leaving your food on the table and going to the bathroom. Quickly you knelt down at the toilet bowl and your stomach heaved what you just ate and not only that a bunch of water. It wasn’t bile, you knew what bile was but this was pure water that exited your body. You began to get chestier coughs and in this time Hendery knocked on the door. “ yn, you don’t sound well, do you want me to help you? can i come in?” Thats exactly how Xiaojun would speak to you and how much he cared for you. Your night was crashing down on you like an asteroid destroying everything that night. Hendery opened the door and saw you dangling over the toilet bowl having difficulties breathing and your cheeks tear stained. “oh my god, yn-” he rushes to get to you and tries to pick you up but your mind was a mess and your previous memories disrupted the present. “XIAOJUN GO AWAY!”

“Hey, yn... I’m not xiaojun I’m Hendery” he says gently trying to solace you. He was understanding and heartfelt. He had all the qualities that Xiaojun has to make a perfect best friend. Eventually you got to your bed with Hendery’s help and he cleaned the apartment up for you. He went into the bathroom and you heard the tap running but even closer he was heaving too? Maybe it was the cheese? who knew.. “ hey yn, if you need me you’re free to call or message me anytime okay,” thats what Xiaojun said too once. You nod and he leaves the apartment until the next day. 

The growth of roots 11:43am: You had your early morning lectures and you sat on the University steps on your phone since.

MINSEO: hey where are you?

HANNA: library studying :/ hbu

MINSEO: looking for Xiaojun

MINSEO: and yn + sicheng

HANNAH: ohh okay, Hendery?

MINSEO: ohh yeah i forgot about him 

HANNA: where’s yn?

MINSEO: idk??

XIAOJUN: you lot spam, i’m coming out from the back entrance, i’ll be there

*seen by yn*

XIAOJUN: i see you lurking yn

YN: okay

XIAOJUN: aren’t you meeting with your boyfriend

MINSEO: boyfriend???

YN: Hendery is not my boyfriend, can you fucking not :)

yn has turned off her activity status...

Xiaojun taps your shoulder and smiles at you profoundly and offers you a hand to help you up. “what are you doing here alone?” Xiaojun asks despite you going off at him. “i dont know i wanted to be alone?” you scoff as subtle as you could. “ well Xiaojun is here now,” he says as he wraps his arm around your waist but it felt different.. to you at least. His flawless smile made you forget why you were mad at him in the first place; as you begin to walk your phone chimes.

HENDERY: hey where are you? I’m waiting at your bus stop :D

YN: i’ll be there soon sorry for making you wait

HENDERY:  it’s okay :D x

As you got to the main road, Xiaojun still had his arm around and Hendery called your name from afar but as he saw you both his smile dropped into a frown. Did you plan something without telling him to stitch him up? You writhe out of Xiaojun’s arms but he grabbed your arm. “where you doing?” he pouted and that was it. “w-with Hendery,” you gulped but your skin felt as if it were on flames and your lungs were clogged? you brought your asthma pump today too just incase. “oh yeah, he’s taking you out,” Xiaojun nods “ Have fun,” he suddenly drops your arm. You walk to Hendery not wanting to look back but Hendery saw what he saw and he didn’t want to say it....yet. That afternoon the boba shop with Hendery was diverting, it was a shame that it was just you two though... 

9:21PM: you sit at your dining table and scroll through your phone before you see a photo of Xiaojun on your feed but you thought nothing of it and scrolled past it. A painful knot began to grow within your lungs? what was this pain? You didn’t know what it was but the pain was just unbearable. It was difficult for you to breathe but you used your asthma pump but it didnt work this time so you ran to the bathroom again and your couldn’t help but throw up again but this time it was strange? There were red petals and leaves and peculiar vine looking things which startled you and couldn’t stop. The feeling was worse than last time, this time is felt tighter; there was was no scientific meaning behind this. You sat against the bathroom wall and pondered who you should tell? Maybe you’d keep it to yourself since no one would believe you right and claim that you’re making it up for attention, at least you hope they wouldn’t think that. You help your phone between your trembling hands, you were terrified. Coughing was painful; it was as if tiny thorns impaled you lungs and tight vines and roots were wrapping around it more and more every day. The question is, why? The whole night you sat in your apartment alone and agony. Help me. 

Your mind echoed with theories and conspiracies, were you a mutant? a glitch? or was this all a dream. The December Christmas festival was a big thing in Seoul so everything was decorated in red, white and green with snowflakes and mistletoes hidden around the street where the Cafe was. The tinsel glistened in the fairy lights swathed the tall street lamps as well as the shop windows. It was  Christmas day the following week and your friends organised a small Christmas party just amongst you and your friends and they decided to book a Karaoke room and then go to your apartment since you were the only one who lived alone. “what do you think yn? are you okay with the idea?” Minseo asks her pretty dusty pink lips pouting at you. She looked twice as pretty today; her hair was loosely curled, her eyes glittering soft pink and champagne, her lips a dusty pink and her clothing all neat and pretty. “yeah, that’s fine” you nod looking down and feel you coughing start up again covering your mouth “ excuse me..” you blurt out before running to the bathroom and locking yourself in a stall. “what happened?” Hanna asked confused and concerned “should we go to check on her?”. “I think she’s feeling unwell but we can go,” Minseo adds on and Hanna immediately gets up. Meanwhile, whilst you were coughing up blood, petals and full flower buds excruciatingly your phone chimes. 

XIAOJUN: hey, are u at the cafe with Minseo and Hanna? Sicheng and I are around the corner.

you ignored it since your excruciating pain didn't allow you to respond to him. Your eyes tear up smudging your eyeliner and staining your cheeks. Once you felt okay enough to leave, you fix your makeup and open the bathroom door. Opposite was the mens bathroom and you saw Hendery walk out too, brushing his thumb over the corner of his lip. “are you okay?” he asks looking at you noticing you were crying. “ i’m fine, just don’t feel well,” you lie “ your eyes are red? are you okay?” you ask him. There was a short silence. “just choked....on a hazelnut,” he responded. You knew he was lying but he knew you were too. December 24th 5pm the group met at the karaoke bar and went into the room they booked. It reminded you of your first year at university when it was just you and the girls; it was the first time you got drunk and had to crash at Hanna’s mothers house (of course she stayed with you). You all sat around the table and you were wedged between Xiaojun and Hendery. Great. Hanna and Sicheng picked a song and of course it was Girl Generation, Hanna’s favourite. You sat there next to Hendery and Xiaojun and Hendery tapped your shoulder to break you out of your dazed state. He slid a small shot glass across the table and you took it before choking on the pungent alcohol. “WOAH WOAH slow down yn, you normally never drink this quick or like this,” Xiaojun takes the shot glass from you. “and people change best friend,” you shrug his arm that sat on your shoulders off “ Hendery, please can you pour me an-” before your coughing began acting up again although this time you couldn’t run out since you were stuck between them; you felt liquid rise up your throat and thats when everything was out of your control and you coughed up blood, water buds and petals again and everyone gasped in shock and horror! “y-yn...” Xiaojun, Hanna and Minseo stopped and stared at you whilst you were trying to get rid of the flowers and buds. Hendery however put his arm around you and covered you and whispered something to you...

“hey, breathe slowly, it’s okay..” his mellifluous tone calming you.

“should we give you some space?” Xiaojun asks as he moves to sit next to Minseo and gave you and Hendery some space. Your heart ached and you closed your eyes and leaned into Hendery’s chest and he let out a small gasp. Hanna and Sicheng were back to the karaoke so the terrible singing, except Sicheng, drowned out the intrusive thoughts. Hendery hesitated putting his arms around you to form a hug, but he did anyway and comforted you. Around 7:30pm it was time to go to your apartment for the gift exchange for the secret santa you all organised. You had Xiaojun. oh the luck. Recently he hasn’t been acting the same and a pit fell in your stomach. You all sat in a circle. You sat next to Sicheng and Hendery this time. Xiaojun sat next to Hendery and Minseo. Sicheng gave his give to Minseo which was a fluffy pink purse like bag she had been wanting for months now and her face began to glow, the lights doing her all the justice. She was just... ethereal. you compared yourself to her a lot. “OMG Sicheng thank you so much I’ve been wanting this for so long” and hugged him. Next it was Hanna to Hendery; he unwrapped the gift and it was a silver plated rose pin. “ I didn’t know what to get but you work at a florist and seem to like flowers a lot,” She let out a soft chuckle. “ Its great! thank you!”. Minseo got Sicheng and got him a silver ring which looked rather expensive. You hesitated to give your gift to Xiaojun. You bought him a pair of shoes he has been wanting for a while and you wrote in your card;

‘ I hope we can step we can walk through everything together and not miss a single milestone.’

He smiles at the card - “ me too, let’s be friends even after we’re married,” but you know what he meant by that. Lastly it was Hendery. He gifted you a jewellery set which were little daisies made of silver as well as a little note inside 

‘ You look absolutely beautiful in silver, I hope you wear these and think of me, Hendery x’

“Thank you so much Hendery I love them so much!” You smiled at the gift. 

That evening as everyone drank hot drinks and played games together, you noticed something. Something about yourself. A deep desire that had been whirling in you mind and heart for the longest time had finally arisen and you decided that it was true. You look at him. His ebony locks neatly sitting over his forehead, his guitar bag on his back, his pearly white smile- everything about him. But he’s your best friend? you cant fall for him. This is what your heart was striking itself over and over again; your own best friend and your forbidden feelings for him. It all made sense. Whenever your eyes collided it felt like a million fireworks exploding into the sea of darkness, illuminating the void in your vacant heart making it feel vivacious. Your emptiness felt revived whenever he touched you, or your stomach would flutter when he would speak to you; his mellifluous voice echoing in your ears. That was it. You were completely in love with Xiaojun. It made sense after all these years you would grow such strong emotions for him and it was obvious now that you liked him. Perhaps he had the same feelings for you too since thats how he would act around you with all the holding and intimacy between you both and how he would care about you so much. You were certain of it. As you thought to yourself whilst in a room amongst your buoyant friends, you thought that perhaps you could confess to him. Now? okay maybe not now... maybe ask him to hang out after Christmas day? it was the best option. Eventually, as it hit 4am, everyone dozed off on the floor, couch and armchair. Xiaojun was curled up on one side of the couch, his arms hugging a cushion of yours and Sicheng on the other side. Hanna slept on the arm chair, Minseo slept against the sofa and Hendery slept on one side of your bed. Everywhere was occupied and you had no choice but to use the unoccupied space on your bed but it was fine he was your best friend so it was normal; you did this with Xiaojun and the girls multiple times.

You waited a while until New Years Eve to do what you have been planning for the remaining time that was left between Christmas and NYE. There was a firework display that was over the Han river and you and your friends went to see it. It was colder during the night time so you wrapped up warm and everyone was so effervescent and laughed together drinking sparkling Champagne or Prosecco. You stood next to Xiaojun and tapped his shoulder however he was too focused on the drink and on someone else talking to him. It wasn’t easy to hear each other since people were bustling around from town to the river. “Xiaojun!” you shout so he can hear you and he turns around smiling, his cheeks flushed a light pink. Everything seemed... different. He was glowing, his lips were a blushing pink, his skin like smooth glass. Everything had seemed to have enhanced? “I want to tell you something,” you say to him, a knot forming at your throat and you struggle to gulp your nerves. “ What is it?” he asks you lowering himself so he can hear you. His face was only inches away from your face and you wanted to do it, you really wanted to but you waited until 12am. “I’ll tell you after t-the countdown,” you stutter. He nods in confirmation and goes back to the group. Hendery talks and smiles with Sicheng but there was a fragment of pain and suffering in his eyes and you could tell when someone was hurting from a distance. He asked Sicheng to hold his drink before he went elsewhere.. did you want to follow him and ask hi if he’s okay or should you wait and tell Xiaojun how you felt. You chose him instead...

There was 1 minute left. You waited for the countdown. 5. 4. 3. 2. 1.

  HAPPY NEW YEAR! 

You look for Xiaojun since he wandered off closer to the front of the river. You run through the crowd of people but stop. Everything darkens. You feel empty. It felt like you feel out of heaven and everything was taken away from you. The heavenly passion, the sweet intentions you had vanished; Destroyed into an abyss of torment and pain. You felt the tear of you heart. I’m sorry. you tell yourself. You wish you didn’t have to witness what you did but.. well.. you did. 

Xiaojun stood there smiling ear to ear. The smile was sweet but you never saw him smile with so much admiration and love in his gaze before. You froze and watched what was happening, the pain in your heart only getting increasing worse and worse restricting you from breathing more. You see the girl he was looking at and it was none other than Minseo... His blushed lips pressed against her peachy toned lips, Minseo tip toeing to reach him and put her arms around his neck. He lifted her by the waist and the both giggled into each others kisses. You had it. You couldn’t do it anymore. Maybe it was time for this to all stop once and for all. Xiaojun comes up to you and sits beside you. “hey yn, what were you doing to tell me earlier?” he asks tilting his head back so his locks were pushed back from his face. “oh,” you pause. What else do you have to lose? “X-Xiaojun...” you stutter and he nods. “I-I loved you,”

Your heart stopped. It skipped a beat.

“huh?” he asks “you love me,” he chuckles “I’m glad you had the courage to tell me that yn but-” he gulps and smiles again “I love someone else...”

You didn’t know what to say but your tears took over. Hendery wandered around looking for you and saw you sobbing and Xiaojun not knowing what to do. He runs up to you; “ Yn? hey you okay, whats wrong,”. You didnt speak but just cried. “why is she crying?” Hendery asks Xiaojun concerned. “ I told her I love someone else... I didn’t know she liked me” Hendery stopped whilst holding you. “she liked you?” – rejection never tasted so good.. right

Now there were thunderstorms within Hendery’s mind and heart as well as yours.

Everything went black. 

You woke up. The bright light blinded you and you blinked hard to see where you were but the pain in your chest was.... gone. “how long has it been?” you ask a nurse in the room. “hmm 4 days,” You were shocked. “did i get surgery?” you ask. “ yes there was a peculiar blockage in your lungs and we had to remove them,”

You were pain free.

“ someones here to pick you up though,” The doors open to Hendery and Xiaojun. “Hey how are you now,” Xiaojun asks “I’m sorry about New Years, It’s just me and Minseo hung out once and there was this feeling i never had, i’m sorry i lead you on”

you thought for a bit. “I never liked you like that? I didn’t romantic feelings for you,” Hendery turns around and nods but leaves. “i’ll be back,”

“but you told me last night you did? i’m confused,” Xiaojun thinks

“oh, well i don’t,” You shrug

Hendery comes back and tells you both that it’s time for your discharge.

Months pass as everything is back to normal except one day. 

It was a refreshing spring day, the blossoming flowers glided through the spring breeze as the sun light cascades onto the viridescent greenery. You sit outside and always waited for your friends and always complimented how Xiaojun and Minseo looked, despite the memory that had been removed from your heart and mind. Hendery gave Xiaojun a small box and a card to give to you on your birthday; “ make sure she gets these on her birthday,” he tells him “i’ll be out of town for a while....” he lied but Xiaojun didn’t know but agreed to do what he asked. But as days went by a member of your friendship group vanished. Where did Hendery go? 

One evening, you received a small box and a card with it on your birthday. 

“ To my one love YN,

Since the second year of university when i first laid eyes on you I couldn’t control my feelings for you. You swept me away. I’m sorry I couldn’t spend your birthday with you but i had something i had to take care of. I have something important to tell you and that is you did love Xiaojun and whatever pain you felt was something i felt too.... for you. But getting the buds, vines and thorns removed it also made you lose all romantic feelings. Im sorry but I couldn’t see you in pain anymore. But i’ll be back... and hopefully my feelings wont get in the way anymore. 

-Hendery”

The silver rose was placed in the box. Hendery loved you? A rush of guilt and sadness flood through out you and now you were worried about him. He was in more pain than you were but he was strong and endured it just to make you happy. Because despite him being in pain, your happiness made him feel at ease. You called, messaged, you did everything you could. No answer at all. He disappeared. No sign of him at all and all you have left is a silver rose..

Where did Hendery go? 

[queenofmoons67]

HakYona Week 2018: Desire

@hakyonaweeks​

This fic shall forever be known as my “Flower Shop Competitor Modern AU”, aka in which I had an idea and ran with it without thinking about the actual prompt. At least it kind of fits???

If you would prefer to interact with this fic through AO3, it can be found here.

Word Count: 1128

Yona stared across the street with her hands on her hips. Beneath her fists, her dress crumpled and folded in on itself, likely leaving crease marks that would have to be ironed out. She didn’t care. Hak stood smirking back at her, his blue eyes in sharp contrast with the white and red that surrounded him.

Hibiscus Syriacus. Mugunghwa. The Rose of Sharon. Also known as eight feet tall, six feet wide shrubs, the other flower store owner had planted not just one, but two of them on either side of his door. Even just one of them would have drawn attention from sheer size and vibrancy, let alone four of them. It was outrageous, annoying, and completely and utterly Hak. 

Holding back a snarl, she smirked back at him before spinning on her heel and storming into Flowers of the Dawn. If she wanted to counter the latest sales tactic of Hak’s Flower Beasts, she would have to call in some beasts of her own.

“Oh, Yona, dear,” Jae-ha sighed. He stretched his legs out and braced his hands behind his head, cracking his back and moaning. “You know he’s just -”

“Antagonizing me, I know.” Yona nodded firmly, cupping her chin in her palms and resting her elbows on the table. “He’s done it since we were children; it’s nothing new.”

Zeno coughed, drawing their attention to where he sat on the counter criss-cross applesauce. “I don’t think that’s what Jae-ha meant, Miss.”

“He’s a peacock flaring his feathers,” Kija declared. Next to him, Shin-ah nodded emphatically. Ao munched on a flower.

Yona stared at them, then jolted as the bird choice hit. “Peacocks!” she exclaimed. “Kija, you’re a genius!”

It took two weeks and calling in a favour with An Lili, but eventually Hak came outside to watch in obvious disbelief as six ten feet tall, red-orange Peacock Flowers - Caesalpinia Pulcherrima - arrived at Flowers of the Dawn. Yona beamed at him and waved as she directed the shrubs to be placed on either side of her door. They mirrored Hak’s hibiscuses perfectly, though they did outnumber them by two. The white flower with the red star-burst may draw attention, but the way the dawn-colored flowers matched her store’s name might just edge him out in sales for the week.

“Doesn’t she get it?” Hak asked Jae-ha. “I’m flirting. I want to date her. I’ve been in love with her ever since I moved in next door, and I haven’t exactly kept it a secret.”

“Trust me, I know,” his roommate grumbled. “And me and the old gang have tried telling her, but it’s like we say one thing and she hears something else entirely. You can blame Kija for the peacock flowers, by the way. Though Lili deserves at least some of the blame for providing them.”

Hak dragged his hand over his face, rubbing at the bridge of his nose. Of course Yona’s old college roommate had had a part in it. He was just thankful Yona was as oblivious to her love declarations as she was to his. Transferring ten feet tall shrubs from the Americas to South Korea at a moment’s notice wasn’t exactly subtle. Though - “I would have appreciated a warning about those, you know. She won our sales contest for the first week since I brought in my hibiscuses.”

Jae-ha laughed. “Where would be the fun in that?”

A week later, and it was once again Hak’s turn to smirk. His old man had managed to send him Moraea Villosas from Africa. While comparatively smaller - not a shrub, the flower came in at not even one and a half feet tall - it appealed to the eye. Another plant nicknamed “peacock”, Mundok had managed to find a kind that was pink with blue eyes. A perfect blend of the dawn and the beast.

Watching Yona pick up her jaw after seeing the sea of them outside his store, Hak murmured to himself, “‘Where would be the fun in that,’ indeed.”

Staring across the street at the blue, yellow, and purple forest dominating Yona’s storefront, Hak decided he would have to call in reinforcements. She had pulled out all the stops with Gentianas and Clematis Chiisanensises. The star-like flower paired well with the Lemon Bells, but the variations in colouring and height made them especially attractive. It was time to fight dirty. He would have to call in Tae-jun, their old neighbour, competitor in the flower business, and someone so blatantly in love with Yona that even she knew it. If he said something, she would have no choice but to believe it.

Yona looked between Tae-jun and Hak curiously. While the two men respected one another, and might even call one another friends nowadays, it wasn’t often they were together. So why…?

“I didn’t want to be here,” Tae-jun began loftily. He shot Hak a glare. “What I’m about to do goes against my every instinct. However. While I would like to believe there is still a chance for us, I’m smart enough to know that’s just a dream. So. Yona. Hak is -”

“I love you!” Hak blurted.

Yona nodded, then froze. “EEEEHHHH?”

“He loves you,” Tae-jun said. She thought she heard him mutter, “What did you even need me for?”

“He loves me,” Yona repeated. Her brain felt like a slushy, whirring in frozen circles before oozing to a halt. “Hak loves me. You love me?!” She looked at Hak. 

Her childhood friend - her oldest friend, besides Soo-won - had a blush up to his ear tips, but he met her gaze evenly.

“I love you,” he said again. There was no inflection; he might as well have said ‘I’m going to buy lettuce’. And yet… and yet, she thought she could hear it: The sound of dawn lighting up the flowers, of peacocks ruffling their feathers. Of love.

“You love me,” she murmured, fists clenching in her dress. Yoon had finally wrestled it from her and ironed it the other day. He wouldn’t be happy to do so again, but… “You love me. Hak, I…” I don’t know what to say.

“You don’t have to say anything,” Hak said. “Just know that I love you, and if you ever want to give us a chance, I’ll be there. I’ve loved you practically since we first met. I’m not about to stop anytime soon.”

Yona looked up - when had she looked down? - just in time to watch him walk out the door. Tae-jun patted her awkwardly on the shoulder and followed. They left Yona alone, with nothing but what she had just learned to distract her.

“He loves me,” she murmured. “But do I love him?”

Why yes, Yona. Yes you do. Also, spoiler alert: it takes a few months, but eventually a Hibiscus Syriacus sits in front of Flowers of the Dawn.

Note: any and all flower knowledge is drawn from frantic googling. If I got anything wrong, please let me know so I can fix it!

I definitely didn’t mean to go into any kind of confession (nothing can beat the actual canon) but it ended up happening anyway. I hope you all enjoyed, and please let me know what you think!