#anyway i'm just feeling weird because tomorrow i turn 23

[sen-ya]

Life After Info Post

[Click here to access the Life After Digital Comic Book]

Summary: Two years ago, a viral outbreak rose the dead. Considering how his life had gone up to this point, surgeon Trafalgar Law figured this might as well happen too. When a supply run into the nearby city gets intercepted by a seemingly reckless and impulsive former patient, the dependable routine Law had settled into in this new life shatters. He finds himself exposed — his body out in the infected landscape, his conscious clawing to define what he believes is right, his heart begrudgingly deciding to find a new home on his sleeve. Maybe there’s more than a virus roaming the new world that can bring a dead man back to life.

Content Warnings: Canon typical violence, zombies/body horror (but lbr I am not good at making scary things look scary)

Relationships: Luffy x Law

Update Schedule: New page every Monday/Wednesday/Friday

Page Count: [37 posted | 55 drawn]

Latest Update: [7/21/24] WOWEE did I get myself carried away this morning. I just spent 5 hours organizing my comics and creating the digital comic book pages. I could have spent that time drawing or idk not doing what I do for my job, but I cannot be stopped. Anyway I blocked out 30 pages of this comic last week and they include the most intense action sequence I've ever done in my gotdang life. Wish me luck because I am nervous about tying down all my drawings lmao.

OLD UPDATES:

[6/29/24] HULLO! I'm doing so bad at keeping my masterposts updated lately I am sorry. All pages of life after are tagged life after if you're ever looking between masterpost updates! Also exciting update, I finally have figured out all the different plot points i'm gonna be hitting (yay!). I got hung up on something for awhile that made me not wanna work on this project, but I'm back at it. I think we'll end up with 6-7 parts! I have probably another 80-100 pages to draw lol. Also i got the app Magic Poser and it's AWESOME and I immediately used it to block out sets cuz MAN I hate backgrounds.

[6/10/24] HELLO. I'm sorry I've been shit at updating my masterposts lately. It's easiest to do from my computer, which I rarely use, and life has been happening. I also can't believe I bungled the queue and posted pg19 before pg18 i am very sorry 🤦 Eventually I'll have to turn this into an airtable base I'm sure, but until that day comes where I have like 100 pages of this comic we're stickin to the regular post lmao

[5/26/23] I got real caught up in doing summer of lawlu comics this week and this is the first week since the first week of April I haven't drawn new Life After pages and it feels weird 🙊

[5/19/24] More Luffy backstory comin' this week! :^)

[5/12/24] Updating now so get myself on schedule to update on Sundays like I had been with my other comic master post!

[5/8/24] Thank you to everyone who's liked/reblogged/comment on the first few pages!! It means the world to me that anyone's reading my silly little comics.

[4/28/24] HULLO. It’s happeninnng. I’ve spent the last few weeks working on this comic, and I gotta make this post so I can start queuing pages & link this in them! This is the most like….legit? Comic endeavor I’ve undertaken perhaps….ever. I’m very nervous about committing to how long it will need to be lol. This story is dear to my heart — zombie content is kind of my very favorite. I’ve always found it to be a great backdrop for exploring themes like grief, coping with change, community, and learning to live again. It’ll be a long haul but I hope you’ll ride it out with me!! Tomorrow I’ll be posting the first two pages. After that a page will post every Monday/Wednesday/Friday. As of this post I’ve completed over 20 pages so that I have a good lead on what’s posting and continuing to write, so I’m hopeful that’s a cadence I’ll be able to maintain. I’ll update this post weekly to include the most recent pages the way I do with my main comics master post. All pages will be tagged 'Life After' and I'll tag any pages with zombies in them with 'zombie' for blacklisting etc.

[lakemichigans]

i seriously cannot stop listening to halsey badlands like it's 2015 and i just ended my tumultuous relationship with my high school not-boyfriend who sells weed behind the bleachers and says he'll kill himself if i leave him

[one-leaf-grimoire]

Five Birthdays

summary » five birthdays from the life of lisa petalon.

warnings » light angst in one part

note » LISA'S BIRTHDAY IS TOMORROW! But I couldn't wait to post this one-shot lol. Illustrations included!

age 7 » sweet and bitter

“Happy birthday!!”

Lisa blinked slowly as her dad appeared from the kitchen, carrying something on a platter. He was covered with flour, egg stains on his shirt, but he was smiling wider than he had for a while. Her aunt and cousin giggled at the sight, clapping from where they sat next to Lisa at the table.

“What is that?”

“Look at it!” Her father grinned as he set it down in front of her. It was clear that it was some kind of food, maybe a fancy type of bread, but it was covered in some sort of shiny coating. “It’s a cake… a birthday cake! I realized that we never made one for you, so I decided to do it this time. Seven is a big age, after all!”

“A cake…” Lisa’s eyes lit up. “A cake! Wow!” In their little town in the woods, they foraged for most of their food, so Lisa was more used to the gamey taste of turkey, potatoes, and berry juice. Confections like cake were rare.

Her dad chuckled, crouching next to his daughter’s chair and wrapping an arm around her shoulder. “It’s all yours, Lisa. Dig in!”

Lisa nodded, eagerly grabbing her fork and taking a big scoop of cake. It was soft, easy to cut; her father did a great job baking it. But before she tasted it, she paused.

“Wait… where is mom?”

The silence in the moments following the question should have told Lisa everything she needed to know. But she was just 7… she had not yet realized why her mother failed to acknowledge any of her birthdays.

“She… she’s tired.” Her father exchanged a glance with her aunt. Out of everyone here, he was the most weary, but he willed himself to smile again before turning back to look back into his daughter’s eyes; eyes that matched his own.

His daughter was almost his mirror image, with her black eyes, her jagged brown hair, and the power she inevitably would discover one day.

But he smiled anyway. Because she was his pride and joy. She was a miracle.

“But the rest of us are all here to celebrate. So let’s dig in!” He reached down and ruffled her hair.

Lisa grinned, giving him a nod before finally taking the first bite.

“Ah! It’s so sweet!”

age 19 » anything you want

Lisa jumped a little in surprise as someone tapped her on the shoulder. She was standing by one of the shelves of books in the royal library, a place that she had been frequenting more and more these past few weeks. She turned around towards the feeling, a little perplexed when she saw that she was still alone. Huh? That’s weird, I don’t think I imagined that-

“Over here!”

She turned the other way, her heart skipping a beat when she saw none other than Julius there, leaning against the edge of the shelf, a place that he was definitely not only a moment ago. But Lisa couldn’t bring herself to be annoyed, despite the fright. “Oh, hi.”

“Hi.” Julius smiled, his eyes avoiding hers for a moment before he straightened up to walk over to her side. “I see you’re hard at work again, any discoveries?”

“N...Not yet.” Lisa quickly looked back down at the book in her hand, trying not to seem too nervous. She would have thought that she would be more used to being in his presence, since they had been meeting up here often to sift through records for any information about Lisa’ magic mark. But that wasn’t the case…”There are so many books, we might never find it, even if it’s here.”

“Well, I just finished my work for the day. I can be your helper for the rest of the evening, if you’d like~”

Lisa almost hid her face in her book as her face heated up. Help!!! Why did he say it like that- “Um, actually-” Lisa closed the book with a soft snap. “I was about to head out.”

“Oh.” There was a hint of disappointment in the Wizard King’s voice. “You have plans?”

“Yeah, actually…” Lisa smiled a little. “It’s my birthday! Yami and William wanted to go celebrate tonight.”

“Your birthday?!” Julius’s eyes widened in surprise. “Oh- I had no idea! You should have told me, I would have gotten you a present!”

“P-Present!? No way!” Lisa shook her head, her smile falling. “I-I couldn’t accept a present from you, I mean- It wouldn’t be right for me to expect something, you know-”

“Nonsense! I’m your research assistant, remember!”

Julius winked, and Lisa felt that she was about to pass away right then and there.

“... I guess so… but still!” Lisa scowled playfully. “You don’t need to get me anything… I…”

“I feel happy enough just to be close to you. That’s the only present I need.”

Of course, Lisa couldn’t say something so embarrassing.

“I don’t need presents, really. I’d rather just spend time with my friends and other… people I care about.”

Julius’s eyes softened a bit, a light blush appearing on his cheeks. “Oh… I see.” His smile quickly reappeared. “But still, I insist! How about this- You can take a book in this library home with you. Permanently.”

Lisa’s eyes widened. “Really? But, isn’t that stealing?”

“I’m the Wizard King, and I’m saying it’s ok. Plus, I’ll cover the overdue fees.” He grinned, closing his eyes for a moment. “How does that sound?”

“...alright. Thank you!” Lisa quickly put the book away, biting her lip to keep from smiling too widely. A birthday present from the Wizard King! More importantly… a present from Julius… “There’s so many books here, though… any recommendations…”

“Actually, there’s one I was hoping you would take.” Julius cleared his throat. “One moment. I’ll be right back.”

He quickly turned away and disappeared down a different aisle. A moment later, he reappeared, holding a book with an elaborate leather cover. “Um.. see for yourself.” He held it out for Lisa to take. It was heavy, but the texture of the cover felt nice under her fingers. Her eyes fell on the title, and she let out a soft gasp.

“Origins of Magic: The sources of mana in this world and the Mystery of its usage. By Julius Novachrono…”

“Heh, I wrote that when I was still captain.” Julius chuckled nervously, awaiting her reaction. “I might have to write a second edition, I’ve learned so much since I became Wizard King… maybe you can be my research assistant for that one.”

“This is amazing… I can’t wait to read it!” Lisa grinned, looking back up at his face. “Thank you, Julius.”

It still felt strange to say his name. This man was revered by almost everyone, yet here Lisa was, receiving a present from him. And a very personal present, at that.

“You’re welcome… let me know what you think.” Julius smiled, gazing down at her face.

There’s so much more I want to say to you… Lisa…

When Lisa got home soon after, she had a few minutes before William and Yami wanted to meet up. She collapsed on her bed, face down. After a moment of silence, she let out a long squeal, muffled by her pillow.

Oh god… I need to stop hanging out with him… or I’m going to fall in love for real.

But… maybe that wouldn’t be so bad…

age 23 » forgotten nights

“Ouch… ouch ouch…”

Lisa rolled over, consciousness finally filtering back into her weary brain. It was strange at first, unfamiliar to Lisa.

Was I… sleeping? How is that possible?

She let out a soft groan.

I haven't slept in 3 years-

Suddenly, pain throbbed in the back on her head, and Lisa let out a cry.

Oh… not sleeping, then... Was I bludgeoned?

"Oh! There, there, don't sit up!"

Hands gently grabbed her shoulders to push her back into the sheets when she tried to raise her head. Lisa winced at the feeling, blinking her eyes open. Her eyesight was foggy, and it took a few moments for the other person's face to come into focus. "Oh… Julius? What on Earth is happening-" She cringed and squeezed her eyes shut again at another pang of agony. "Did I get in a fight?"

Julius sighed, glad that she was awake and recovering. "Sort of… here-" He picked up the glass of water he had been keeping on the bedside table. He carefully held it up to her mouth, and she immediately started sipping away at it. "How do you feel?"

"I'm in pain… tell me, what happened?" Lisa scowled up at him, sensing how hesitant he was to speak further. "What do you mean, I sort of got in a fight?"

"Well… I'm surprised you didn't figure it out already," Julius chuckled nervously. "You… you weren't knocked out. You're hungover…"

All the sudden, everything flooded back.

------

"BEHOLD; THE MIGHTY POWER OF THE WIZARD KING!!!!"

Lisa cackled wickedly, one foot planted on the edge of the bar and the other precariously balanced on her stool. In one hand, she gripped a glass of mead. The other formed a fist, blue fire circling in tandem with time magic. "Anyone who can beat me can take my title! I'll share this power with you!"

There was a roar of approval from the other patrons at the bar. Yami howled with laughter and hit the bar surface with the palm of his hand a few times.

SMACK SMACK SMACK

"That's hilarious!!! What are you gonna do if you lose!!?"

"I won't." Lisa smirked raising her glass back to her lips and chugging it in one go.

"Lisa!! Get down from there-" Fuegoleon tapped her shoe, frowning. He was only a little red in the face, not nearly as drunk as the others. Jack was giggling next to Yami, and Charlotte and William were already asleep at a table in the corner. "You're going to get hurt, and-"

"HEY!" Lisa's foot lashed out, and she wobbled dangerously. "I knew you wanted my job! Come at me, then!"

"What? No!" Fuegoleon stumbled back. "You're acting like my sister!"

"Yeah? Then fight me!"

Lisa stepped forward, ready to attack- however, she was still up on the bar. Her foot didn't land anywhere… and she fell

"LISA!"

Fuegoleon jumped forward, arms outstretched, ready to catch her. However, to his surprise, the elderly bartender rushed in front of him. Lisa fell into his arm, limp as a ragdoll.

"Dear me- I'm glad I was keeping an eye on this one." He chuckled before turning back to Fuegoleon. "Thank you for trying to keep her out of trouble- but I'll get her somewhere safe."

"Oh- okay." Fuegoleon watched the man carry her away, then reappear a few moments later.

-------

"Oh god…"

Lisa buried her head in her hands, her face bright red. "No way… no way I did all that!"

Julius chuckled, wrapping his arm around her shoulders and pulling her closer to him. "No harm was done! And you had fun, didn't you?"

Lisa shrugged. "I don't really remember…" her hands fell back into her lap. "It sucks… I used to be able to drink all night and feel fine… but after we formed our Dyad…"

Of course, her alcohol tolerance wasn't the only thing about her body that had changed. She couldn't eat, or sleep, or… worst of all-

"I know. It'll be alright. It just takes some getting used to, right?"

Lisa nodded, and felt his lips press against the side of her head. Her eyes fluttered closed for just a moment.

"Why was I at the bar with all of them, anyway?"

Julius's eyes popped back open in surprise. "Huh? You don't remember?" His lips twitched into a smile. "I suggested the outing in the first place… thought you'd want to have a celebration with your friends."

Lisa blinked. "Celebration?"

She was still confused, until Julius chuckled and gave her a gentle squeeze.

"Happy birthday, Lisa."

age 27.1 » the life of an insect

It stayed hot all the way until September. The sun blazed down into the garden, unhindered by clouds. The bright atmosphere contrasted with the dark shadows that were quickly closing around the Clover Kingdom.

It’s so loud…

Lisa spent most of her time alone, now. Part of her wanted to surround herself with people, with all those she loved. But even then, she knew it would just make herself feel worse. Seeing their faces, watching them talk, and laugh… it just forced her to draw further and further away.

I’m not like you… I never was.

So, she spent her days alone. It would be easier for them if she stayed away. Even if it hurt.

Yet it was still so loud.

Cicadas screamed from every corner of the forest, swarming the treetops by the million. Their song permeated almost every corner of the kingdom, allowing none to escape.

In a way… it was almost nostalgic.

Lisa stood at the base of a tree, pausing her walk for just a moment. Above her was a group of cicadas, circling each other on the bottom of a high branch, no doubt evaluating each other to decide if they wanted to mate or not. Their song was earsplitting, but Lisa was already numb. It didn’t bother her.

In her hometown, out in the woods, the cicadas were a fact of life, appearing every summer without fail. They were like a booming voice, nature’s fury swept across the land.

Yet… they were fragile.

They slept underground for 17 years. Then, for just one day, they rose up to the heavens, singing their glorious song. They soared, they mated, they laid their eggs…

And then they died.

They fell back to earth, their voices and bodies spent. Their last act would be to plant the seeds of their offspring, before the dirt reclaimed them.

Their lives… were fragile.

Utterly and completely meaningless.

Two of the cicadas lost their grip on the tree. They fell down into the leaf litter, letting out one last scream before they went silent forever.

But at one point, they had screamed. And the whole world heard them.

I can’t even do that. How I wish I could just scream… but I can’t.

A moth could not scream. It would never see the sun. They just fluttered through the night, like a ghost. They were swallowed silently by that darkness.

This is my last birthday.

Lisa lowered her gaze, before restarting her lonely stroll.

At the very least… I got to see the sunset first.

age 27.2 » the future ahead of us

Summer melted into fall at last. The heat evaporated, leaving cool winds to quench the thirsty land.

The winds were gentle; like a nourishing pair of hands. Lisa closed her eyes, sinking into the feeling of those hands touching her. They brought her comfort, and they eased her pain.

They belonged to her.

“Just a few more months…”

Julius whispered the words, so soft that Lisa could barely hear them. But that was okay; they weren’t meant for her.

“I can’t wait to meet you.”

Lisa’s hand moved to run through his hair. Julius let out a happy sigh, his eyes flickering closed. He could hear two heartbeats with the ear pressed against his wife’s stomach, harmonizing with the sweet sound of her breathing. Life thrived there, and life was thriving within him as well. Never before had he felt so much excitement, so much anxiety. It was a rare, beautiful thing; an opportunity that had almost slipped away; like a stunning sunset that you didn’t notice until it was too late.

But it’s not too late.

He pulled back a little, just enough to stare up into Lisa’s eyes.

Because of you… your strength… your sacrifice. Because of you, we have this life. We have a second chance.

I won’t ever let that chance slip away.

“Her birthday is going to be after both of ours… a December baby.” Julius said happily. “A “Joy” to the world, you could say.”

Lisa let out a soft chuckle, shaking her head a little at the pun. “A joy to all of us, for sure.”

She watched as Julius nodded, his expression drowsy, before he lowered his head to listen once again. He couldn’t get enough of the sounds; the sounds of his daughter, and the sounds of his wife.

“She’s a joy… and a gift.”

The world was changing. The future ahead was uncertain. But Fate was alive and well; Julius and Lisa would always be bound to it.

Whatever fate had in store for them, they would be together. And they would have this child, who they had wanted more than anything else on this Earth.

“I love you, Lisa.”

“I love you, Julius.”

It was the happiest birthday Lisa ever had.

[bobasheebaby]

100 Buffy Prompts

I had a lot of fun compiling this list. I was cracking up more than once and now I want to binge Buffy. If there is a show you want let me know because these seriously help me shut of my brain during this covid hell.

1 “NAME, your mouth is open, sound is coming from it. This is never good.” – Buffy Summers

2 “I just want to be alone and quite in a room with a chair and a fireplace and a tea cozy. I don’t even know what a tea cozy is, but I want one.” – Buffy Summers

3 "They were supposed to be my light at the end of the tunnel. I guess they were a train.” – Buffy Summers

4 “I don’t know what’s coming next. But I do know it’s gonna be just like this – hard, painful. But in the end, it’s gonna be us. If we all do our parts, believe it, we’ll be the one’s left standing.” – Buffy Summers

5 “I don’t handle rejection well. Funny, considering all the practice I’ve had, huh?” – Xander Harris

6 "Just because you’re better than us doesn’t mean you can be all superior.” – Xander Harris

7 “I’m leaning towards blind panic myself.” – Rupert Giles

8 “Since the picture you just painted means that I will never touch food of any kind again, you’ll just have to pick it up yourself.” – Rupert Giles

9 "With all the rubbish people keep sticking in my head, it's a wonder that there's room for my brain." – Spike

10 "Oh, I don't know. Looking in the mirror every day and seeing nothing there...it's an overrated pleasure.” – Angel

11 "Passion. It lies in all of us. Sleeping, waiting, and though unwanted, unbidden, it will stir. Open it's jaws, and howl. It speaks to us, guides us. Passion rules us all, and we obey. What other choice do we have?" – Angel

12 "Anyway, for real now, I'm gonna ask you something, and you gotta promise you'll be honest and not spare my feelings just 'cause I could kill you. You promise?" Faith

13 "You gotta give me something to do. There's no way I'm sleeping. Don't you need anyone dead? Or maimed? I can settle for maimed.” – Faith

14 "You know, I honestly don't think there's a human word fabulous enough for me.”- Glorificus

15 “I’m cookie dough. I’m not done baking. I’m not finished becoming whoever the hell it is I’m gonna turn out to be. I make it through this, and the next thing, and the next thing, and maybe one day, I turn around and realize I’m ready. I’m cookies. And then, you know, if I want someone to eat m — or enjoy warm, delicious, cookie me, then that’s fine. That’ll be then. When I’m done.” — Buffy Summers

16 “Seize the moment, ’cause tomorrow you might be dead.” — Buffy Summers

17 “The hardest thing in this world is to live in it. Be brave. Live.” — Buffy Summers

18 “No weapons. No friends. No hope. Take all that away and what’s left?” “Me.” — Angelus & Buffy Summers

19 “Don’t you have an elsewhere to be?” – Cordelia Chase

20 “God! What is your childhood trauma?!” – Cordelia Chase

21 “Gee, can you vague that up for me?” – Buffy Summers

22 “I laugh in the face of danger. Then I hide until it goes away.” – Xander Harris

23 “I don’t know what your problem is, what your issues are. But as of this moment I officially don’t care.” – Xander Harris

24 “You’re really campaigning for bitch of the year, aren’t you?” – Cordelia Chase

25 “I mock you with my monkey pants!” – Oz

26 “Funny how preparing looks an awful lot like sitting on your ass.” – Spike

27 “That’s fairly freaksome.” – Oz

28 “Do you have any tact at all?” – Giles

29 “I’ve known you for two minutes and I can’t stand you.” – Spike

30 “Great. Now I’m gonna be stuck with serious thoughts all day.” – Cordelia Chase

31 “You didn’t happen to take a lot of drugs, did you?” – Willow

32 “I’ve seen honest faces…they usually come attached to liars.” – Willow

33 “Can I be blind, too?” – Xander

34 “Gee, I hope I’m not interrupting anything really depressing.” – Riley

35 “And you just accepted that? I only said that because I thought that’s what you wanted to hear.” – Anya

36 “This is the crack team that foils my every plan? I am deeply shamed.” – Spike

37 “We’ve got to face it, we’ve changed. Well, not you—you’re still sadistic and self-centered.” – Giles

38 “Sometimes the most adult thing you can do is ask for help when you need it.” – Giles

39 “Did everybody have their Crazy Flakes today?” – Xander

40 “Do you love me?” “What?” “Do you?” “I love you. I don't know if I trust you.” “Maybe you shouldn't do either.” “Maybe I'm the one who should decide!” — Angel & Buffy

41 “Six a.m.!" NAME cried. "I know that's a number on my clock, but I've never actually been awake to personally witness it!” — Xander

42 “Bored now.” — Vampire Willow

43 “We’ll go be heroes.” — Spike

44 “You have a plan?” “I am the plan.” — Giles & Buffy

45 "Strong is fighting. It's hard and it's painful, and it's every day. It's what we have to do. And we can do it together." — Buffy

46 "I make it through this and the next thing and the next thing, and maybe one day I turn around and realize I'm ready." — Buffy

47 "You have to take care of each other. You have to be strong. NAME, the hardest thing in this world is to live in it. Be brave. Live, for me." — Buffy

48 "Make your choices. Are you ready to be strong?" — Buffy

49 “Weird love’s better than no love.” — Buffy

50 “The who having wha with huh?” — Buffy

51 “Whatever you choose, you’ve got my support. Just think of me as… as your… You know, I’m searching for supportive things and I’m coming up all bras. So, something slightly more manly, think of me as that.” – Xander

52 "A lot of things that seem strong and good and powerful, they can be painful." Angel

53 "To forgive is an act of compassion, NAME. It's-it's... it's not done because people deserve it. It's done because they need it." — Giles

54 "In the end, we all are who we are, no matter how much we may appear to have changed." — Giles

55 "I don't have time for vendettas. The mission is what matters." — Buffy

56 "I don't want to protect you from the world. I want to show it to you." — Buffy

57 "Make your choice. Are you ready to be strong?" — Buffy

58 "Recognizing power in another does not diminish your own." — Joss Whedon

59 “Out. For. A. Walk… Bitch.” — Spike

60 “You can’t see the stars, love. That’s the ceiling. Also, it’s day.” — Spike

61 “Is everyone here very stoned?” — Spike

62 “I feel safe with you.” [Chokes] “TAKE THAT BACK!” — Dawn & Spike

63 “I love you.” “Oh, my god.” “Hey, no. Look at me. I... love you. You're all I bloody think about... dream about. You're in my gut... my throat... I'm drowning in you, NAME. I'm drowning in you.” — Spike & Buffy

64 “Just... give me something. A crumb, the barest smidgen. Tell me maybe, someday there's a chance” “NAME ... the only chance you had with me was when I was unconscious.” “Oh, wha-“ [screams, then shouts]  “What the bleeding hell is wrong with you bloody men/women? What the hell does it take? Why do you bitches torture me?” “Which question do you want me to answer first?” — Spike & Buffy

65 “You can't deny it. There's something between us.” “Loathing. Disgust.” — Spike & Buffy

66 “Could do without the laugh track, NAME.” “But it's so funny. I knew... before you did. I knew you loved the NAME. The pixies in my head whispered it to me.” — Spike & Drusilla

67 “Damn right I’m impure! I’m as impure as the driven yellow snow.” — Spike

68 “I love you.” “No, you don’t. But thanks for saying it.” — Spike & Buffy

69 “This with you, it’s wrong. I know it. I’m not a complete idiot.” — Spike

70 “You always hurt the ones you love, pet.” — Spike

71 "When I say ‘I love you,’ it’s not because I want you or because I can’t have you. It has nothing to do with me. I love what you are, what you do, how you try. I’ve seen your kindness and your strength. I’ve seen the best and worst of you. And I understand with perfect clarity exactly what you are." — Buffy

72 "I’m just gonna go home, lie down, and listen to country music. The music of pain." — Buffy

73 "I have feelings for you. I do. But it's not love. I could never trust you enough for it to be love." — Buffy

74 "Weird love's better than no love." — Buffy

75 “People don’t fall in love with what’s right in front of them. People want the dream — what they can’t have. The more unattainable, the more attractive.” — Buffy

76 "Trust is for old marrieds, NAME. Great love is wild and passionate and dangerous. It burns and consumes." “Until there's nothing left. Love like that doesn't last." — Spike & Buffy

77 "This isn't some fairy tale. When I kiss you...you don't wake up from a deep sleep and live happily ever after" — Angel

78 "I love you. I try not to, but I can't stop" — Angel

79 "If I may suggest, ‘This time it's personal.’ I mean, there's a reason why it's a classic." —Oz

80 "Well, to the casual observer, it would appear that you're trying to make your friend NAME jealous, or even the score, or something. And...that's on the empty side. See, in my fantasy, when I'm kissing you, you're kissing me. It's okay, I can wait." — Oz

81 "NAME’s our friend...except I don't like him/her.” — Xander

82 "What am I gonna do? I think about sex all the time! Sex ... Help! Four times five is thirty ... five times six is thirty-two ... Naked girls. Naked women ... Naked NAME ... Oh, stop me!" — Xander

83 "Man, NAME! My whole life just flashed before my eyes. I gotta' get me a life!" — Xander

84 “NAME. You're really campaigning for bitch-of-the-year, aren't you?” “As defending champion, you nervous?” — Cordelia & Buffy

85 "Tact is just not saying true stuff. I'll pass." — Cordelia

86 “Oh please. Like shame is something to be proud of.” — Cordelia

87 “I’m going to give you some advice: get over it.” — Cordelia

88 “Oh, and you’re welcome.” — Cordelia

89 “I’m not a sniveling little cry-NAME. I’m the nastiest guy/girl in PLACE history. I take crap from no one.” — Cordelia

90 “I think it. I say it. It’s my way.” — Cordelia

91 "I don't like spiders, okay? Their furry bodies, and their sticky webs, and what do they need all those legs for anyway? I'll tell you - for crawling across your face in the middle of the night." — Willow

92 "I don't want danger. Big 'no’ to danger.” — Willow

93 "Let's get this straight. I don't understand it. I don't wanna' understand it. You have gross emotional problems. And things are not okay between us." — Willow

94 "NAME, I got so lost." "I found you. I will always find you." — Tara & Willow

95 "But you like him/her, and when you think about him/her, you get that good down-low tickle, right?" — Faith

96 "You hurt me, I hurt you. I'm just a little more efficient." — Faith

97 "Just relax ... and take off your pants." — Faith

98 "I am, you know." “What?" “Yours." — Tara & Willow

99 "I don't have time for bondage fun." - Buffy

100 “It's fine, I don't need to be snuggled.” — Willow

[suney]

Ripules n 12 cuz shy losers?

12 - things you said when you thought i was asleep [1/5]   next →

Amanda is standing at her workbench heaving on the end of a crowbar the first time it happens.

“Just give me a second! I’m nearly- there!” 

“What the hell are you going on about now?” A barrister pokes her nose into the workshop, observing the unfolding events from over her glasses. “I know you like your own company and tend to have these ‘stern’ discussions with yourself, but yelling at no one is actually pretty fucking weird, Amy.”

“Don’t call me that.” Ripley fires at her with a dangerous glance, wiping away horrific spatters of tin scented fluid, it’s tang reminiscent of aluminum on fillings. “Also, I was yelling at you for being an impatient ass on my comms.” 

“Mm, no, I wasn’t.” 

“Who else could it have been, Nina?” 

She hums, squinting down at the screen, an insistent banner flashing white and grey along the top.

Eat… 18:30.

“My God you’re an idiot, Ripley. That’s not a message, it’s an alarm.”

“What? I don’t have any alarms, not for this time of day.” Amanda brushes the device off the table and into her bag on the floor. “And name calling, really?”

“I was joking.” She holds her shoulder, crossing her ankles to lean fully on the other woman. “But since you’re already distracted, come and sit down. I bought lunch.” She gently touches the cold wrist of a synthetic, laying motionless on the table. “If that’s alright by you, Samuels? Because I swear, even you won’t be able to make me give her mouth to mouth if she faints again.”

“He won’t be able to make you do anything until he’s fixed, Taylor.” The engineer rolls her eyes and follows the heavenly smell of curry wafting from the crib room.

“You really think you can?”

“I have to…”

The next time it happens she had fallen asleep using a bicep of the deactivated- the temporarily dead- android as a pillow. Her chair up as high as it will go and his hand in her own.

Sleep… 23:59.

“W’the fuck is going on?” Amanda mumbles into the synthetic’s side, lazing her arms over his chest to look at the screen. She wonders if she had installed a dodgy app, or if there had been a bug in the last batch of updates. 

She yawns, swipes at the alert, and decides it probably had the right idea anyway. 

Goodnight.

“Goodnight… I guess.”

Over time, the alarms had become progressively more specific. Mentioning conversations she’d had in private, even alone. Offering her advice, greeting her, wishing she had a fabulous day or night. Shockingly even to her, she never thought it was creepy, going back through her downloads to determine they had in fact been from the phone, to the phone. It was sweet. Familiar in the way it was worded like an old friend. 

“Hey.” Taylor, as had become routine, appears at her door for visit one out of three today. “I bought coffee.”

“Oh my God, you read my mind.” 

“I do, everyday, at exactly seven in the morning.”

“Yeah and what time do you call this?” Amanda gratefully trades the cup for a pair of soggy tin-snips and takes a drink, her fluid covered hands sticking to the paper as they swap back. Her friend holding it by the lid at an arms length.

“Late. Late is what I make of it. I’ve been at work since five absolutely snowed in with paperwork. So, fend for yourself for lunch? And don’t stay up all night, I know you’re excited, but get some rest and do it properly. Please. You only get-”

“One shot.” Amanda nods, pulling at a creamy tube full of metallics. “I know.” 

Her phone blares once, and then again. 

“Are you still getting those?” Nina asks indifferently, unable to counteract the hand over her upper stomach attempting to hold her bagel down as out of the chest comes what looks like an organ, attached at the base by colour coded wires.

“Yah." 

“Aren’t you going to check it?”

It rings one more time in a different tone and Amanda supposes she should. The advice it offered had sometimes been handy, telling her the microwave had gone off, or the ice had melted in her bourbon and coke. This, however, was eerie.

Pay attention. 

Please don’t cut the red wire.

Do not cut the red wire.

It vibrates a final time. 

S-Exec Repair Manual, p 138: preventative measures for fuel cell ignition.

“Holy fuck.” Amanda flips a page on the next table over, quoting from it. “‘Disconnect from power source before removing fuel cell… red wire last… prone to violent combustion…’ Holy fuck." 

“Someone’s definitely watching over you.” Nina breathes a sigh of relief. 

“I might- yeah, I might sit down for my coffee today.” 

“Good idea. I’ll leave you to it.” 

Amanda nods her goodbye with a quick hug and regards the synthetic at a safe distance. It isn’t until hours later that she moves, or even speaks again, shocked into silence by the fact she could have killed her friend and less importantly, lost an arm in doing so. 

Your drink is definitely cold. It has been for six hours.

She glances at the screen as it wobbles on her jogging knee. “So, I’ve been thinking,” she starts out of nowhere, “if I didn’t know any better, which I do, I’d agree with Nina and say you’re looking out for me. Which is ridiculous because all the evidence points to you just being a device, but I think somebody is behind this. Whatever this is." 

I am here. 

“Yeah, I feel that. Maybe I’m going insane, because that’s kinda likely… but I think you want something from me too.” 

What might that be?

“I don’t know. I don’t even know who you are, let alone what you could possibly be after.”

It would be nice if you stayed intact.

Amanda huffs her way over to disconnect the trickle charger from the terminals in Samuels’ chest. “A real Samaritan.”

I am being honest. I want you safe. I… 

“You what?" 

Nothing.

“Okay buddy, maybe it’s best to pump the breaks before you freak me out. Don’t get me wrong, you’re cool, whoever you are, and if you ever show yourself we can go for a beer or something. But I’m kind of… committed elsewhere.” 

Committed?

“Yeah.”

Oh.

“Problem?”

Not at all. I'm… happy. For you. Pause. Anyone I might know of?

“Probably not, we haven’t been on-site very long.”

Nina? A familiar sass bleeds through this notification that Amanda can almost hear. 

“What? Fuck no. I care about her too, but it’s definitely someone else.” She wipes hydraulic fluid from her hands on an old rag. An old rag that happened to be a shred of Samuels’ favourite semi-melted shirt. He looks disgusted by her actions even in his sleep. “Do- do you really think I’d be investing so much time and effort into fixing this synthetic if I didn’t- care about him? A lot?” 

Yes, you would. Because you are kind.

Amanda fights to urge to inform the stranger that she’d had to kill people before. Murder at point blank range. Leave some to die. Use human life as distraction. Instead, she turns up the radio.

“Blue Öyster Cult. Burning for you. What a solid song.” She looks over the slightly charred synthetic before her. “I’m not being at all ironic.” 

Home in the valley, home in the city;

Home isn’t pretty, ain’t no home for me;

“You know it?”

Obviously. The text is no different than usual but rings like a pompous English accent. It is a classic, I rather like it. And Bat Out Of Hell.

“Oh, my friend. You are after my heart.” 

I hope so…

“Keep hoping.” She laughs to the ceiling, tapping a hex key to the palm of her hand. “When I finally get this guy up we’re going to Earth and we’re just- just fucking hitting the road. Getting outta Dodge, or y’know. Luna. We can sleep in shitty motels and in the back of the car and I can pick up work in garages as we go. And I know I’m going to absolutely torture him with this kinda music, he’ll hate it, but I’ll find ways to make it up to him.”

I do not think he’d hate that at all. I think he’d love it, actually. 

“I don’t think he loves anything. I don’t know if he can. But here’s hoping he’ll be fond enough of me to stick around after he’s back in one piece, and out of The Company’s grubby little hands.” She realizes the irony of her words, hesitating to brush his hair back with grease stained nails. “If he doesn’t it’ll be enough knowing he’s out there somewhere. Alive, even though I miss him. Fuck, I miss him.”

The device falls silent as she presses her lips to his forehead. 

“Goodnight, Samuels. Keep ‘em crossed for tomorrow. It’s the big day.”

Her comms device vibrates in her pocket as she flops down onto the cribroom couch. Her eyelids droop, brain shutting down for the day. She decides she might just check it in the morning. 

(Goodnight, Amy. I miss you too.)