#anyway if anyone needed me i'll be hiding in my bunker

[via-rant]

Wanted to experiment on Trichotillomania (Especially since I've had many urges.)

------

"You agreed to letting me on watch."

"Yeah, on watch! Not fight them by yourself!"

"I didn't have a chance to wake anyone up!! Why even agree to it if you know I'm not going to be good at it?! I'm not a fighter, you said it yourself, I fix the ship!! That's it!! And now we're all stranded until I can get her working again!! Which is going to take at least a month!!"

"What the hell is wrong with you?!"

"What did I do now?!"

"You yelled at me!"

"What are you, five?!" He asked and another second he felt his cheek stinging.

Everything was frozen as tears filled his eyes. Cause it hurt.

"You don't get to talk back."

"I was explaining-" He slapped him again.

"No. Talking. Back. You understand?" He asked and Leo didn't know what else to do.

"Um..." He raised his hand again and Leo flinched.

"Do you understand?"

"Y-yes." He forced and he slapped him again. He felt 8 again. 9, 10, 11, 12, 13. He shook, tears falling, not knowing what Jason wanted. He was scared. Alone.

"He'll never understand."

"He'll probably just mess up again anyway."

"No, I can do it."

"Oh Leo. You'll never be able to do it. You'll fail over and over and over and everyone will hate you."

"Will? We already do."

"No."

"You're not good enough."

"Stop it."

"You're weak."

"Jason-"

"Just a thing people use. You're not special."

"No."

"No one needs you."

"Stop it."

"How do you even know you're human? You like machines more than us."

"Stop it!"

"And you look like Sammy. How do you know your parents didn't just built you because your mom was losing him?"

"Stop it!!" He yelled holding his ears tight fingers digging into his head.

"Stop it stop it stop it!!" He screamed hitting the palm of his hands on his ears. Then someone punched him. He backed away holding his nose and when he saw the blood dripping he made a noise of distress and stomped his foot. He took his hammer and started hitting a tree with it. He yelled and threw it when it didn't work. He started hitting his head with his fists yelling and crying and pulling at his hair. Pulling at his hair helped a lot. Especially when he pulled out a big chunk of it. He felt better. And it hurt so it grounded him.

When he opened his eyes, he found himself in his bed, a chunk of his hair in his hand. He shook as he looked at it. Feeling sick with guilt, he threw it away in the trash next to him. He sobbed after another minute, head in his knees.

He wore a hat the rest of the week hoping it wouldn't happen again. But it did. Over and over and over. Meltdown after meltdown, nightmare after nightmare. He forced himself to stay awake after a month of it. He pulled his hair out at least five times in the span of almost two months.

Not to mention the nightmares. Oh the nightmares just like the first one. They yell at him, throw things at him, hit him. Or everything is on fire and he watches his mother burn all over again or he feels himself burning as the voices tell him how useless he is. How much of a freak he is. There was one where they walked right through him. No one saw him, talked to him. He never existed. He yelled, begged for someone to look at him, notice him, notice how much he's suffering.

"Please. Please I'll do anything." He had cried. He woke up having to remind himself it wasn't real. After throwing away another chunk of hair. He also started to get more scared. He knew his nightmares weren't real but they seemed real. He just ended up hiding in Bunker nine after another one hoping he'd be left alone, forcing himself to stay awake.

He was left alone. But only because they couldn't find him. He hid in a capartment in the back of the Bunker. They looked for days. Annabeth found him in the bathroom. She watched him slip when she opened the door, hitting his nose on the corner of the counter, a glass piece getting stuck in his wrist.

"Oh my Gods are you okay?!" Annabeth yelled running over. Great. Annabeth. Fuking Annabeth. There was nothing wrong with her he just probably looked pathetic to her. She went through literal hell, what did he have to complain about? Hair?! She tried to help him up but he flinched back and sat himself up.

"I'm fine." He said with a weak smile before raising his head to stop the bloody nose.

"No. You're not. Sit still." She gave him his hat and some toilet paper for the nose and rushed off before coming back with bandages and some ambrosia. She pulled out the glass and started wrapping it while he had his head up, until his nose cleared.

"This is all I can do for now. We'll get you to the infirmary-" Leo started to panic.

"You know, I think I'm-"

"Stop it Leo! Just... just stop." When he looked at her, he actually looked at her. She looked worried and almost scared. She had tears in her eyes. He realized she was caring for him. She cared.

"You need help, Leo. I want to help you. We want to help you." Her voice cracked and he broke down. He sobbed and she hugged him.

"We're here. Okay? You can tell us anything. We won't judge you. We won't make fun of you. Especially not for something like this."

[spacebagfullofstars]

A product of love ♥️

[turning-dreams-into-chaos]

Banished (Part 54)

~Banished Master~

Word Count: 4.4K

~Master~

*Based off episode 4x09 of the 100, DNR*

*Bold/Italics are Trig!*

A/N: PLEASE READ! So, I’ve made the decision to go back to only writing the parts of the episode that Y/N’s in or parts I deem necessary. I’m just getting tired of writing out 10K parts and not hitting 100 notes. It’s too much work. I haven’t hit 100 notes for this series in a while. I can’t promise when the next update will be (PLEASE DON’T ASK) because it depends on the response I get to this one. Thanks everyone and thanks for being patient with me!

Previously...

---

The ride off the island and back to Polis was an almost silent one. You hadn’t said anything to Abby since she destroyed the radiation chamber or to Clarke with her constant glances between you and her mother. Roan was silent as well as he sat next to you, obviously annoyed with the tense situation happening in the back of the rover. When the vehicle stopped, he was the first to jump out, sticking a hand to help you out but you didn’t accept it, sliding out anyways.

“Clarke!” Abby called out as the girl started to follow out behind you, only to stop. “I need to talk to you.” You glanced back at her, Roan waiting back as well when Clarke paused and told you both to go. You nodded, following behind Roan as Abby and Clarke spoke. The snow on the air and in the air made you shiver as you realized you left your jacket back in the rover.

“Hey!” You called ahead to Roan who stopped walking and looked back. “Left my jacket, I’ll be right back. You can keep going, I’ll meet up.” He gave you a look before nodding, watching you rub your arms against the long-sleeved shirt that did nothing against the cold. Clarke and Abby didn’t get far into the conversation as you returned, stopping yourself before they saw you as you listened in.

“What about Roan?” Clarke asked as you pressed yourself against the rover, trying to hear better.

“Trikru would rather go to war than share the bunker with Azgeda.”

You could hear confusion in Clarke’s words as she questioned her mother. “Mom, Roan is our friend. Y/N made a deal with him, he’s our Ally.”

Abby just shook her head. “Not anymore.”

You didn’t know the full story but it was obvious Trikru knew about the bunker and your people were planning on keeping it from Roan’s. “They’re gonna kill him.” Realizing Clarke was right, you ran as fast as you could back to where you left Roan. When he wasn’t there, you kept going, pushing tree branches out of your face until you came into the clearing

“Don’t do it!” you shouted before you everyone looked at you. Kane was the only one you could see who didn’t come with you and by how far back Roan stopped walking, he could tell something was up. Roan pulled out his sword, holding it in the air as Trikru emerged from the trees behind Kane and Clarke and Abby came running in behind you. Abby was clinging onto Clarke as she shouted much like you.

“What is this?” Roan growled out as the men approached him, throwing a look back at you as Abby grabbed your arm as well, trying to hold you back as you fought against her.

“Let me go!” you seethed at her but she refused to let go. Kane shouted, telling everyone there didn’t need to be any violence, but the moment he had, the Trikru men fell with arrows sticking out of them. Abby let you go and you started towards Roan, wanting him to know this wasn’t you, but it was Azgeda’s turn to surprise everyone as they came out of the woods pushing and fighting your people to the ground. “Roan!” you shouted moments before you were forced off your feet, the side of your face shoved into the cold snow as you groaned and tried to pushed yourself back up. Roan turned to look at you, not sparing any help. “This wasn’t me.” You tried to tell him before your hands were pulled behind you and you gave up, realizing the rest of your people did as well.

---

After the ambush, you and everyone else were taken to Polis as prisoners, brought right to their cells and locked in the cuffs. You didn’t fight back, hoping Roan would have a shred of decency and hear you out. Once the grounders cleared out you turned to Abby, putting a fake smile on your face. “So, was getting captured part of the grand plan?”

“Y/N.” Kane started to chastise you before you sent him a glare.

“Don’t even get me started with you.” You snapped and made the already tense atmosphere unbearable. Kane didn’t say anything, realizing you weren’t in a mood to speak kindly.

“Skaikiler.” One of Azgeda’s guards came back inside, heading straight to you and unlocking you from the wall, but binding your hands in rope once again and gagging you. You followed him out, not looking at anyone expect Clarke, knowing she found out when you did. He led you right up to Roan, who looked completely pissed as you walked in and Echo walked out.

“How long have you known?” He asked once you both were alone and he pulled your gag out of your mouth.

You took a deep breath, crossing your arms in front of you. “I just found out, Abby was telling Clarke in the rover, I overheard them when I went back for my jacket.”

Roan looked at you for a moment, remembering how you came running before. “Thank you for trying to warn me.”

“Just be thankful I left my jacket.” You grumbled and held your hands up, motioning to the ties as Roan pulled out his knife and cut you free. “Thanks.” You let the rope fall to the ground before looking up at him. “Their plan sucked, but this doesn’t have to be a war.”

“It already is a war. Your people betrayed me.”

Roan started to walk away before you tugged his arm, keeping him from going far. “But I didn’t!” You reminded him as he looked over his shoulder, knowing you had a point. “Let me go and talk to Indra and Kane. Call a summit, let me talk to the people!”

Considering your offer, Roan shook his head before walking towards you, making you step back out of the small fear. “Fine, but I’m holding your people.”

“Roan.” Your words were pointed as you crossed your arms. “Kane needs to be there and you know it.”

“Your chancellor's lucky he still has his head.” You narrowed your eyes at him before he sighed. “If anyone can convince mortal enemies to move in together, it's you. I'll call for the summit.” Roan passed you, heading out the door and leaving you alone in the room. You let out a groan before leaning against the table, letting your head fall in your hands.

“Well, this is gonna be great.” You said to yourself sarcastically before removing the gag from around your neck and waited for the King to return.

Upon his return the two of you went to the temple, only making you more irritated as you were searched not only once but twice. “If you didn’t find something the first time, what are the odds you’re going to find something the second time?” No one answered you, knowing your question was out of annoyance.

“If I’m not back in an hour, my army will attack.” Roan threatened to a Trikru guard as another searched you. A girl was kneeling on the ground as you and Roan approached.

“You’re Gaia?” you spoke out, interrupting her prayers as Gaia’s eyes opened but she didn’t turn around. You cleared your throat. “I’m-“

“I know who you are.” She interrupted you before standing up, getting a look at you. “Skaikiler.” You averted your eyes, putting a smile on your face to hide.

“I heard you helped my people find the bunker. Thank you.” You told her but she continued to remain unhappy, her glare letting you know this wasn’t going to be as easy as you hoped.

“And your people gave the Flame to an unworthy King who saw it destroyed.” She said and your eyes widened slightly. “For that I am not as grateful.”

Yeah. This was going to be interesting.

“Let’s go see what all the fuss is about.” Roan said and you cleared your throat, meeting his gaze before he started to walk away. You paused, looking back to Gaia to see her stone faced before you followed Roan. You both stood in front of the bunker, looking at the stairs to head down.

“Cozy.” You muttered sarcastically before feeling Roan’s eyes on you and you turned.

“After you.” He said with a smirk and you rolled your eyes jokingly. You did enter first though, finding yourself in the airlock as you took a deep breath. Roan clambered down the ladder behind you as you moved out of the way, waiting until he was off before you entered into the bunker. You were struck by how large it was, and unlike the last bunker you found, how it wasn’t covered with blood and dead bodies. You were almost halfway down the long ramp to the floor, your fingers brushing against the metal grates on the fans attached to the wall before Roan stopped you with a gentle grab on your elbow. You turned to him, but caught sight of Indra coming down a hallway with other grounder men and women behind her. “All my enemies in one place.” Roan grumbled sparing you a glace.

You furrowed your brow as you recognized the war chiefs from your stay at Polis. “Indra was supposed to be alone.” You whispered, meeting Roan’s irritated eyes.

“What fun would that be?” You didn’t say anything as Roan and you finished your walk down and Indra and Roan were immediately at each other’s throats.

They argued back and forth, Indra claiming Roan was only here to make peace because Trikru holds the temple and with Azgeda surrounding the temple, Trikru wouldn’t live to see the inside. It wasn’t until Indra brought up war being inevitable now that Lexa was gone, did you manage to step in and put an end to the argument.

“Stop.” You said as both leaders fell silent, but didn’t back down from their positions. “Praimfaya is in 6 days and that’s the only thing that’s inevitable, alright?” You said looking to Indra as they both turned to you. “Anyone not in this bunker will be dead.”

Indra and Roan both looked at you and you thought they were coming to terms with what you were saying, until a war chief spoke. “Then we should get to it!” She declared, aiming for the prospect of war. You met Roan’s face, realizing you were losing.

“Roan. You know I’m right.” You said, sparing a look of anger to the woman. Roan shook his head.

“We talked.” He began as you stared him down, hoping he’d take your side. “Now we fight.”

“No!” you yelled and grabbed his arm keeping him from walking away. You tried to get them to listen. “1,200 people. This bunker can fit 1,200 people! We can share it and all the clans would survive.” You looked at Indra, swallowing harshly before carrying on. “That’s what Lexa would’ve wanted.”

Indra’s face faltered slightly at the mention of Lexa, but she didn’t give up. “You’re right. And if she were here, the clans might have obeyed her, but seeing as there’s no commander to rule us,” Her speech paused momentarily as she stood directly in front of you. “war it is.”

When it was time to leave the bunker, you fell behind, trying to think of a way to save people. It wasn’t until you saw Gaia did a plan click in your brain.

If they wanted a commander, you’d give them a commander.

Trikru men led Roan outside, clearing out the temple as you slowed down, ultimately finding yourself behind everyone and when the coast was clear, you closed the temple doors with you and Gaia inside.

“What are you doing?” Gaia asked, her brows drawn as she stood away from you.

“I know you have the flame.” You started walking her way, making her backup in fear but you didn’t care. “I know Octavia gave it to you.”

“Leave.” She threatened but you shook your head.

“No. I can’t let this war happen, Gaia.” You told her, stopping in front of her and shaking your head.

Gaia scoffed. “Not you or even Wanheda could stop the clans from killing each other.” She told you, meeting your eyes with a glare.

You licked your lip, raising your brow. “What if I offered you something better than Skaikiler or Wanheda?”

Seeming interested, Gaia motioned for you to continue. “What would you have to offer?”

“Make me the Commander.”

“You?” Gaia asked in distain. “You’re not a Natblida. I won’t have a red-blooded commander-“

Before she could finish the sentence, you reached forward and grabbed her knife. Gaia immediately withdrew another dagger and pointed it your way. You, however, never pointed your stolen blade at her and instead brought it to your palm. Gaia looked on confused as you drug the blade across your skin and you winced slightly at the feeling, but watched as your newly black blood slowly came from the cut. Gaia looked between you and the cut, unaware of the science behind your blood.

“Make me the commander.”

---

Planning their strategies, Roan, Echo, and a few of Roan’s men stood around a table, trying their best to obtain the bunker. They were struggling with their attempts, finding time to be an issue, but their work was cut short at the sound of a horn filling Polis. The room went quiet, everyone turning to the window as Roan quickly walked over.

“The ascension call?” Echo said as she followed Roan and they both saw the fire atop the tower, indicating the rise of a new commander. “The flame was destroyed, how is this possible? You said you saw it.”

Roan nodded his head, brows drawn together tightly in fear. “It was shattered.” He said briefly before his eyes narrowed and he was beginning to catch onto what was happening. “I saw what they wanted me to.”

“A new commander is bad for us.” Echo pointed out needlessly. “Let me stop this ascension, at least until we know who the Natblida is.”

Roan was furious, glaring at the fire sitting brightly atop the tower mocking him. “I know who it is.” He mumbled. He knew of only one person who would take the throne from him with Nightblood. He knew it was you.

---

Gaia stood at the front of the throne room watching as the clans and leaders entered, each one showing faces of confusion and disbelief in the ascension call. Indra snuck behind everyone, managing to stand behind her daughter as she spoke.

“Are you presiding?” Indra asked her in a hush tone, hoping to find out what was happening.

“Yes.” Gaia spoke without turning to face her mother. “The Flame chose me as its protector and our scouts honor that.”

Indra only grew more curious. “Did one of them find a Natblida?” She asked and only received a sharp ‘obviously’ from Gaia in return. Ignoring Gaia’s ignorance, Indra kept pushing. “What clan are they from?” Gaia turned and shot Indra a look, not answering Indra’s questions. “This is highly unusual, Gaia. With no conclave, there are questions to be asked.”

Indra would her answers soon enough as Gaia stepped forwards with plans to continue the ascension. Roan shook his head as Gaia spoke and the ceremony commenced. “Let the commander ascend.” Gaia said before you walked into through the door of the throne room with your head held high.

Immediately, you heard sounds of confusion and disgust from the room as you approached Gaia. “Skaikiler is no Natblida!” Someone shouted from the crowd as Indra stepped up in an outrage.

“What is this?” She demanded to know, but Gaia and you stayed silent. Gaia took your hand and held it over the Flame, previously set in a ritual bowl. Everyone watched on as Gaia brought a knife up and sliced your skin before squeezing your hand, letting your blood cover your hand and hers.

Sounds of shock were heard all throughout the room as people kneeled to you. “The blood of the commanders is your blood.” Gaia said as she dipped her fingers into the mix of sand and blood in the ritual bowl. She brought her hand up to your forehead, making a line down the center as she spoke. “May the spirit choose wisely.”

When Gaia was done, it was your turn. “May the spirit of the Commanders guide me.” You turned around, slowly kneeling on the ground and took a deep breath. You were about to look down before seeing Lexa standing in the crowd behind the scouts. She didn’t say anything, she didn’t even smile. She just watched you kneel there, preparing yourself for the familiar feeling of the Flame in your head. Hearing Gaia approach, you bowed your head, but peaked up to find Lexa gone again.

Gaia cleared the back of your neck from your hair and jacket, letting her see your faded old scar. She brought the Flame up, whispering to it. “Ascende.”  The stems from the Flame revealed itself as you closed your eyes, waiting for the insertion.

“Lies upon lies.” Roan spoke, pulling the attention as your head snapped his way. You hoped he wouldn’t say anything, you needed him to stay silent, but it doesn’t look like he would. He stepped forward, threatening to ruin the ceremony.

“Step out of the sacred circle.” Gaia snarled as she came face to face with the man.

“There’s nothing sacred about this.” Roan told her, looking over her shoulder at you who shook your head. “Skaikiler is making a mockery of our faith.”

Ignoring the murmurs and gasps of the room you stepped forwards. “I’m trying to save everyone, Roan. Praimfaya is in 6 days.”

He just smirked at you. “Then don’t waste our time.” He told you before turning to the door. “Bring in the healer!”

You looked immediately passed him, seeing Clarke and Abby escorted in by Echo and Clarke pushed past people to you. “What are you doing, Y/N?”

“What I have to, to make sure everyone doesn’t go war with each other.” You told her, lowering your voice between the three of you, although you didn’t spare Abby a glance.

“We don’t know if this would work, the Flame could kill you.” It was Abby who spoke up and finally you looked at her, narrowing your eyes and clenching your fists.

“Well, we had another plan.” You reminded her, seeing her advert her eyes. “But you destroyed it.”

“She might’ve saved your life.” Clarke mumbled after having spent the day in the cell with her mom, briefly seeing her point of view.

You scoffed at her, trying to come to terms with what she was saying. “You don’t know that! I could’ve been fine. Everyone could’ve been fine.” You stressed, trying to keep your voice low again as you remembered the dozens of others in the room.

“Enough!” Roan yelled out, making the three of you look at him. Your eyes plead to him, but he refused to look at you. “Tell them, healer, how Skaikiler became a Natblida.”

“Abby.” You whispered, seeing Abby’s head turn slightly towards you. “Please. Don’t.” Abby stayed quiet, her eyes darting back and forth as she tried to decide what to do. She already took away one chance at saving everyone, could she take away another?

“Through science.”

“Clarke!” you gasped in disbelief, not prepared for Clarke to be the one to speak. She turned to you, reaching for your hand but you pulled it out of her grasp. “How could you?”

“I’m sorry.” She whispered, never breaking eye contact. “I couldn’t let you put it back in your head, not if we don’t know what will happen to you.”

You stared at her, feeling betrayed before shaking your head. Gaia brought you back to the ceremony as she spoke to Abby. “You made her a Natblida?” Abby nodded.

Roan, smirking at the small success, turned to the crowd of scouts. “If anyone can be a Natblida and take the Flame, then we can no longer trust the blood.”

You heard quite a few declares of agreements as Indra stepped in, looking at you in disappointment before the scouts. “What we can still trust is the sword.” She shouted. “We’ve delayed this war long enough.”

You felt defeated, the one thing you had been trying to prevent all along was happening and you failed. Roan looked at you, seeing your eyes trained to the ground before he stopped himself. “Wait.” He said, getting you to look up and meet his eyes. “Y/N was right about one thing. Fighting a war is a bad way to decide who gets to survive.” You didn’t wait to get your hopes up. Roan was all for a war, there’s no way he’d turn it down now. He faced Indra, standing taller. “You summoned all your scouts here for an ascension, but you left out the best part.”

Indra paused to think before realization struck her. “A conclave.”

Roan nodded, turning to the scouts as his eyes briefly met yours and he smirked. “A final conclave. One champion per clan.” He announced.

You knotted her brows. “One death instead of thousands.” You said, seeing him nod.

“Whoever wins gets the bunker.” He finished. Indra agreed, along with the other clans. You looked around, realizing the other 12 clans were in. Roan made his way to you slowly, listening to the talking of the others as he stood in front of you and Clarke. “Will you fight,” he began pausing as you tried to hide your nerves with a swallow, “or will you burn?”

You turned to Clarke with fear written in both of your eyes, but you knew what had to happen. For your people.

“Skaikru will fight.”

---

“Bellamy!” you shouted as you saw his flop of curly hair jump out of a rover. His eyes immediately darted around, looking for you. His shoulders fell in relief when he saw you running towards him. He dropped the bag in his arms right in time to catch you, feeling your head bury itself in the crook of his neck as his arms held you tight.

“Thank god, you’re okay.” Bellamy mumbled, cradling the back of your head. After the day he’s had, the goodbyes he’d had to make, he wanted nothing more than to hold you and never let you go. He pulled away briefly, only enough to kiss you deeply before you were hugging again.

“A little help?” A man called from the rover as Bellamy and you broke apart. You quickly helped carry the bags from Arkadia into the tower. You never left Bellamy’s side, but you did glace around, looking for your friends you left behind in Arkadia.

“Where’s Jasper?” You asked, not seeing Bellamy’s face fall slowly. “And Monty and Harper?” You felt Bellamy’s hand grab yours as you stopped looking around and finally saw the look on his face.

“Come on.” He said, throwing an arm around your shoulder and pulling you into his side as you walked to the tower. “There’s something I need to tell you.”

Bellamy and you spent the rest of the afternoon talking about the rest of the kids back at Arkadia- your friends- staying behind until Praimfaya’s radiation killed them. You couldn’t believe what they were doing. You weren’t even going to get to say goodbye and you just lost more of your family.

“They just gave up?” You whispered as Bellamy and you sat on a couch in the tower alone, your legs draped over his lap as you played with his hands. You couldn’t look away from the wall, finding your emotions too hard to handle and do anything but that. “Did you try and stop them?”

Bellamy stayed silent, making you look at him with wide eyes. “It’s what they wanted.” You didn’t know what to say, so you stayed silent. Bellamy, already feeling guilty over not trying harder, didn’t pressure you to speak. He just focused on your hands and the loose bandages barely wrapped around them. Slowly he unwrapped them, feeling your head rest gently on his shoulder as he looked at the cuts from today. “So, a final conclave?” he asked, looking at you through the corner of his eyes before wrapping your bandage tighter.

You nodded against his shoulder, slowly rising your feet and pulling him with you as you headed out to the balcony. The cold air felt good against your skin as you looked out below. “The whole city is the battlefield.” You told him, feeling him lean over the ledge with you. “No time limit and no guns. Just one warrior from each clan until only one remains.”

Bellamy seemed skeptical. “And the winner takes the bunker, just like that.” You nodded again, groaning as you dropped your head into your hands, feeling Bellamy wrap an arm around your waist and pull you closer. “Without guns and without anyone trained in grounder combat, there's no way we can win.” He muttered. You nodded again, both of you falling silent before you lifted your head up, turning to meet his eyes. “What?” He asked, unsure of your change of emotion.

“Lexa trained me in grounder combat.”

His eyes grew wide at your whispers. “No. That’s not an option.” He said before beginning to head back inside but you grabbed his arm.

“Bellamy.” You said, getting him to pause. He hesitated before turning to you, licking his lips out of worry. “We fight or we die.” You reminded him. Bellamy was about to object before you watched him furrow his brows, coming back to look over the ledge. You followed suit, trying to see what he was looking at before seeing a familiar face riding in on a horse. “Octavia?” you whispered, feeling Bellamy grip your hand tighter as he remembered the last he saw of his sister, running away from him for what he had hoped wasn’t forever.

Octavia stopped her horse when two men approached her, her eyes flying up to see you Bellamy looking down at her with two very different expressions. As the men got closer, her attention shifted and she got her mind back on track as she spoke to them. “I’m here for the war.”

---

ALL TAGLISTS CLOSED

Sorry if I forgot anyone! Reblogging with series tags!

Permanent: @literal-fand0m-trash @nathaliabakes @colored-confetti @btsiguess-kpop @galacticstxrdust @independentgirl @hollymac79 @emcchi @rauwz @chewymoustachio @smilexcaptainx @faith-quake @johnmurphyisqueer @kettnerjanea @teenagereadersciencenerd @ladykxxx08 @annasofiaearlobe @mytreec @ananad1 @agentnataliahofferson @the-unmanaged-mischief @wonderful-writer @theonly1outof-a-billion

Bellamy: @jodiereedus22 @mysterioustruffle @danielabetancourth @a-sweet-little-fangirl @werosies @brxghtlelune @gxvrielle

[sweetbettycooper]

WILD THINGS -OneShot

Ssssshhh Sssshhhh

"We have to be quiet," Betty whispered as Jughead kissed down her neck, digging his teeth in harshly.

"Fuck that." Jughead moaned. His words vibrating along Bettys skin making goose bumps rise and tickle her senses.

Betty held Jughead tighter as she brought his lips back to hers kissing him madly in the janitors closet of Riverdale high.

It was a small cupboard filled with mops and chemicals and tin buckets. Making it really hard to move or keep quiet with all their lustful advances. They had no idea how they both fit in there, but it was the only place they could find in their hurried rush, during their free period.

Jughead was pressed flat against Betty's body wishing they weren't wearing any clothes. They had never done it in a cupboard before. Granted the gym ,the principal’s office, the science lab and the bleachers were all just as risky, but with only minutes left of the school day they weren't about to try.

Jughead's hands smoothed over every inch of her body while Betty held tight to his Jacket collar, making it easier for her to tilt his head and kiss him deeper. Their breathing sharp and heavy, the only thing that could give their hiding spot away at this point.

"God how do you taste so good?" Jughead groaned into her mouth running his tongue over her own. She was like sweet candy to him. Addicted to her sugar high and pink skirts.

Betty smirked against his lips raising her leg slowly up along his jean clad stalks and wrapping it around him. Teasing him to no end. Leaving him no choice, but to grind against her.

"I love it when you do that," Betty whispered breathlessly, grinding her hips back against his.

"You still going out with Archie tonight?" Jughead gritted out trying to think of something to cool his body down.

"Yeah," Betty said dangerously, running his ear lobe through her teeth, "but you're still coming over after that right?"

"Fucking definitely." Jughead grabbed her face roughly, kissing it just as the bell rang.

Like lightning both teens fell out of the cupboard, wanting to get out into the hallway before anyone saw they were in there, or that they were even together for that matter.

High school was a weird place. There was a status quo to keep. Reputations to uphold and Betty and Jughead liked to sneak around.

They had decided to go public for their senior prom which was in a few months and Betty couldn't be more excited but there was one thing she had to do first.

Tell her childhood best friend Archie Andrews.

It was a known fact to everyone even Betty that Archie had a crush on her, but Betty didn't feel the same way. How could she when the school's bad boy Jughead Jones had captured her heart as soon as he walked in the door.

Archie was her best friend though, Betty really didn't want to hurt him. So tonight she was meeting him at pops like they always did as though everything was normal.

As she sat there waiting for him that night she laughed to herself at what Jughead would be thinking about all this right now. She knew Jughead hated Archie and the feeling was definitely mutual. She could just picture him rolling his eyes and cursing under his breath.

"Betty hey sorry I'm late," Archie smiled as he approached and sat down in front of her at their usual booth.

"Hey don't worry Arch I just ordered our usual."

"A Vanilla and strawberry milkshake with fries?"

"What else?" Betty chuckled back.

"Cool."

Then silence fell between them as Betty looked around the diner. It had been happening a lot lately. Maybe they were running out of things to say.

"So....." Archie began slowly. "Did you go home in free period this afternoon? I didn't see you after?"

"Yeah I did," Betty replied quickly, steadfast in her answer. No sign of a lie.

"Well I got detention so that sucks," Archie rolled his eyes laughing at the stupidity of it.

Betty was about to reply when Pop suddenly appeared at their booth with two delicious looking milkshakes.

"Thanks Pop. I don't think I could survive without one of these in my life," Betty joked, taking a sip of hers right away.

"It's my pleasure. Now you kids enjoy," He said in a cheery voice before carrying a chocolate milkshake over to another booth.

She smiled to herself thinking of Jughead and his addiction to Pop's chocolate milkshakes. He was the same as her. Couldn’t live without them.

"You seem happy tonight?" Archie piped up. Betty hadn't noticed he had been staring at her.

But in that moment everything was about to change. No one’s life would ever be the same again.

Betty's happiness would soon fade never to return.

No one had expected it. No one saw it coming.

But the end of the world was here.

Now.

Today.

At that very moment.

-----

The electricity went first. Even the street lights

All the lights went out in an instant, confusing people to start.

Betty knew Pop had a backup generator but when that didn’t kick in she started to worry.

“What’s going on?” Archie asked in the dark. Speaking a bit louder than usual to be heard over everyone else's concerned conversations.

“I .. I don’t know,” Betty said as she pulled out her phone to see if she could find any information online.

Maybe it was across town, she thought.

It wasn’t.

The more she looked, the more she read the more horrified she became.

Then all at once her phone died. Sending her heart rate through the roof in panic. It had been fully charged.

“Did your phone just..?” Archie began but when he looked up and saw people running out of the diner he got his answer.

Betty didn’t know what to do or say. Was it safer inside or outside?

She knew from what she had quickly seen on her phone that they were coming. Invading the world like it was their own and it petrified her to think they could be here at any moment.

“We need to go,” Betty decided frantically, her body starting to shake. “Now!”

Running out the door the world around them had already turned to chaos. Buildings were in fire. People were running and screaming.

A horrified gasp escaped Archie’s lips.

“Holy shit.”

They were here and they were going to kill everything on their path.

“I...I’m...” Betty looked to Archie for help for some sort of direction but he was gone. Fleeing the scene as she looked around. She was all alone.

Betty couldn't think straight. Frozen in her spot just watching everything unfold in front of her. As though she was just waiting to be struck down. With nothing she could do to save her own life.

This was it. She would die in the car park of her favourite place.

“BETTY ! BETTY! BETTY! - WHAT ARE YOU DOING?! GO GET OUT OF HERE GO!”

It was Jughead. He was shaking her holding her by the shoulders a wild terrified look in his eye.

“RUN TO THE WOODS I'LL MEET YOU THERE GO!”

What was he doing here. How did he find her so fast. The fact that he thought of her when the world was ending only made Betty feel even more drunk emotions. God she really did love him. That was the first time she had admitted it to herself and it could very well be the last.

“BETTY! ARE YOU LISTENING?!”

Jughead could see she was completely spaced out. Her mind shutting down from the whole situation., but he wasn’t about to let that happen

Grabbing her with force he pulled her close slamming their lips together. Hoping it would wake Betty up like it usually did.

His secret love and passion for her pouring into the kiss. Betty responded immediately holding onto him for dear life. Knowing it might be the last time they see each other.

Betty moaned as Jughead licked her lips slipping his tongue along her own.

A loud explosion breaking them apart.

“What - What’s happening? How are you here? where do I …”

Jughead cupped her cheek trying to calm her.

“BETTS LISTEN TO ME. GO INTO THE WOODS. YOU'LL BE SAFE. HIDE IN DILTONS BUNKER. I’LL FIND YOU,” Jughead said more calmly than he should have. But in the moment whenever they were together time slowed around them.

“I will always find you,” he kissed her one last time.

“I love you,” Betty whispered, her lips lingering on his. She had to tell him even if he wouldn’t say it back.

“I….”

——

Tears ran down Betty’s cheeks as she ran through the woods blood dripping down her arm and leg. Her side stabbing in pain her wound stretched more and more as she ran. But she didn’t stop.

Adrenaline pushing her forward.

She made sure the opening to the bunker was covered in leaves and branches and she closed the lid and practically fell down the ladder inside.

Thank god there was a first aid kit.

Betty cried as she tended to her wounds. Not just from the pain but from absolutely everything. The world was ending. And she was alone.

And Jughead. Had come to save her. But then …

She couldn’t even think about it. All she could do was cry for him.

Laying on the old cot in the bunker Betty shivered. Not because she was cold but because she was so scared.

She didn’t know when she would see the sun again. Lucky there was enough supplies down here to last at least a month.

THREE MONTHS LATER

Betty moved quickly between the trees trying to get back to safety. She’d learnt to run fast and never look back over the past few weeks.

Holding the food that she’d stolen from a nearby hidden camp tightly in her fist. Saving her nails from drawing blood, Betty prepared herself to fight.

She’d run out of food a long time ago and couldn’t live off berries and water any longer. But now she fully regretted wanting anything else. She thought it would go unnoticed but it didn’t and now she was being chased.

Betty didn’t know what the world had come to. She’d spent so long underground all she knew was that some people had survived and Jughead was gone.

Darting behind a big tree Betty hid trying to catch her breath. She Barely had any energy these days. She couldn’t hear any heavy footsteps as her breathing slowed and decided to make a break for it. With not very far left to go.

But as she did Betty ran straight into a hard tree. Falling to the ground. Well that’s what she thought anyway.

Coming to her senses waiting for the world to stop spinning Betty honestly thought she was dreaming.

“Jughead…?”

[coffeeandcas]

The Greatest Thing You'll Ever Learn (2/?)

Takes place after the events of 12x12 “Stuck in the Middle With You”.

Castiel has been in love with Dean ever since he first laid a hand on him in Hell all those years ago. But finally, painfully, he realises Dean will never return his feelings and forces himself to move on. Dean misses the presence and attention of his angel, and comes to some realisations of his own.

***
Chapter 2/?

Castiel wakes up in his own bed some time later, disorientated and still feeling the effects of his injuries. His mouth is dry and he still feels nauseous, but he manages to get himself out of bed to use the bathroom with minimal discomfort before collapsing back into bed and burrowing under the covers, dejected. He’s raw and wrung-out from crying and every muscle aches horribly. He’s been low before, many times, but he always bounced back. Or pretended to anyway, which is almost the same. His bed is cool and comforting against his overheated skin and he wants nothing more than to snuggle down and stay there all day; to avoid Dean and the rest of the world. He probably could, nobody would really question him, nor after the events of yesterday, but he knew it wasn’t productive. He needed to sort his head out, and stewing in bed all day wasn’t going to accomplish that. A dragging feeling of sadness overwhelms him as he thinks about Dean for the first time since waking. Normally the hunter’s face, all soft smiles and shining eyes, is the first thing to flash into his mind when he opens his eyes, but today he feels so rotten that it’s taken a while. All the years, all the affectionate touches, lingering looks, gentle smiles and misinterpreted ‘I need you’s: Castiel has never felt so foolish, so humiliated, or so old. He’s been around the world a thousand times or more and he should know better, but he allowed himself to be drawn under the spell of the enigmatic and undeniably handsome hunter and now no wonder he’s hurting. He had been warned countless times to stay away from the Winchester brothers and he had always, always ignored that advice. Now he wonders whether he should have listened the first time Uriel berated him and called him their toy.

He lets a bit more time pass, idly staring at the ceiling and keeping his mind carefully blank to avoid tumbling into misery, then with some difficulty drags himself out of bed and dresses in the first clothes he finds - faded jeans and an old t-shirt that maybe belonged to Dean - and ventures from his room in trepidation.

The bunker is dark, quiet and still - it’s early morning, and Dean, Sam and Mary must still be asleep. Castiel couldn’t be any more relieved: after spending what felt like forever in tears in Sam’s arms, the younger Winchester had eventually helped him to his own room and undressed him to put him to bed. By that stage, Cas had been so out of it that he just let Sam twist and turn him in various directions to get his clothes off, and was blissfully passed out the second his head hit the pillow. He isn’t ready to see anyone yet. He wonders if Sam had told Dean what a bad state he had been in, and if Dean had even cared.

He wanders through to the kitchen, aching, and trying to ignore the tumultuous voices in his head telling him a myriad of different things.

‘You should leave, now, before they wake up and try to stop you.’

‘Dean pities you, he thinks you’re broken; he feels guilty for kicking you out last time so he won’t do it again, that’s the only reason you’re still here.’

‘You’re not really family, they only said that to ease your pain. They didn’t think you’d live.’

‘Dean doesn’t love you. Dean doesn’t love you. Dean doesn’t love you.’

Agonised, Castiel drops his head into his hands and leans heavily on the counter near the coffee machine. He can’t reign his thoughts in; perhaps its an after-effect of being stabbed with the lance, but he feels like he might go insane from all the words and images swirling in his mind. And the one shouting the loudest? Is telling him to leave, to run, to go once and for all and not look back. But that would be cowardice, he just can’t, they’re his family…

‘No, Castiel,’ an inner voice sneered at him, reminding him sickeningly of Naomi. ‘They aren’t. They’ll never see you as more than their awkward friend who outstays his welcome. You know this, deep in your heart.’

“Shut up!” Castiel loses it a little, lashing out with one arm and feeling it connect with something. An object crashes to the floor but he doesn’t bother to look; tears are pricking behind his eyes again and he feels so damn weak, like he could collapse again at any given moment. He needs to get a grip on himself, stop the voices going round in his mind and feeding him venom. The Winchesters love him - maybe not in the way he aches for Dean to love him, but it’s enough. They’re a family. They love Cas. It has to be enough.

“Cas?” He hears Sam’s concerned voice close by, and wonders how long he’s been calling him for. With a great effort, Cas wipes his eyes and stands upright, greeting the younger Winchester with a tight smile.

“Good morning, Sam. I’m just going to make some coffee - would you like some?” His voice sounds flat and hollow to his own ears, but he hopes Sam won’t pick up on it. Sam is focused on picking up the cookbook of Dean’s that Cas had knocked to the floor and rearranging it where it belongs. Cas turns away and fumbles with mugs and coffee and milk, and tries to get a handle on himself. Maybe when he sees Dean and gets the initial awkwardness out of the way, he’ll feel better; less skittish. Sam smiles at him and lends a hand, and the warm gaze of the man Cas considers a brother grounds him a little. Then he hears footsteps behind him, the sound of Dean crossing the expanse of room and the soft, familiar sound he makes when he’s stretching his arms above his head and yawning. Cas’ heart aches again and he swallows. Shit. He isn’t ready for this.

He turns, preempting Dean, with a fixed, brittle smile and an outstretched cup of steaming coffee. The older Winchester takes it awkwardly but doesn’t meet his eyes for a moment.

“Morning, Sammy. Sleep OK?” Then, slowly, Dean’s green gaze lands on the angel and Cas’ heart hammers so hard he swears everyone can hear it. “Hi, Cas.”

“Hello, Dean.”

Silence stretches between the three of them, growing in intensity and awkwardness as the seconds tick by, Cas and Dean doing their best to avoid eye contact, until Sam clears his throat and scoops his own cup up off the counter.

“I guess I'll…just give you two a minute.” And he sidles away, leaving Dean and his angel to shift awkwardly and avert their gazes every time their eyes met.

“Cas-”

“Dean-”

They speak at the same time and both flush. Cas sips his coffee to hide his embarrassment and Dean rubs the back of his neck in the self-conscious way Castiel is so familiar with.

“You go first. Please, Dean. I insist.”

“OK.” The hunter levels a look at the angel, and Castiel can see relief, concern, wariness, and other swirling emotions in Dean’s deep green eyes. Cas swallows, apprehensive. “I’m just…I’m so glad you’re OK, Cas. Watching you almost die like that, and Crowley telling us there was nothing we could do…it was awful, man. Really. Are,” Dean shifts, his hand coming out as if to reach for Cas’ shoulder then thinking better of it. “Are you feeling better now? Sammy said you were still kind of out of it last night.”

“Much better, Dean. Thank you.” Castiel swallows, his response stiff and jilted but unable to manage anything more convincing. The air between them is rigid and hollow and gaining in discomfiture. Somewhere in the bunker, he can hear Mary talking to Sam. “Are you all right? You weren’t hurt?”

“No Cas, I wasn’t. I’m fine. Just so long as you are.”

“Yes. I am, I’m back to normal. I’m fine. Almost.”

As long as they stood telling each other how fine they were, it meant that the topic of Cas’ feverish confession was unlikely to come up. But they couldn’t stand there all day, as much as Cas would love to skirt round the issue and just disappear, and ignoring the mounting fear in every nerve ending, he decides to take the bull by the proverbial horns.

“Dean…about what I said-”

“I know, Cas.” Dean does clap a hand on Cas’ arm at this; some of his coffee slops over the side and onto the floor. They both ignore it in favour of staring each other. “I get it. I really do.” And suddenly Dean’s eyes are darker, more intense and intimate, and Cas wonders if he’s imagining the step forward Dean has taken. He’s pinned in place by Dean’s eyes, and a warm feeling starts to uncool from deep in his stomach, soothing his burning heart and aching spirit.

“You do? Dean, I thought-”

“Yeah, Cas, of course.” Dean smiles, and it’s all soft and warm and glowing and exactly the smile that Castiel fell in love with. His throat tightens as he waits for Dean to continue. “You’re family, and we love you too. You’re one of us now!” And Dean’s smile widens to a grin; he claps Cas on the arm again then reaches behind the angel for some sugar for his coffee. Castiel is frozen in place, unable to move, Dean so close that he would barely have to move for their faces to be touching. ‘We love you too’…

“Dean,” Cas grips the hunter’s arm with a sudden desperation, pinning the taller man in place and when Dean looks up at him in surprise there’s barely three inches between their faces. “I meant…Sam and Mary, they mean the world to me. And truly, they are my family. But you…Dean, I meant…I mean…” Cas’ words fail him and he tries with all his might to convey his meaning with his eyes, every atom within him pleading with Dean to understand. To look at him the way he reveres his hunter. To feel how he feels. To just love him.

“Cas,” Dean’s hand comes to rest on the arm Castiel is holding him with, his eyes soft again, and he’s watching his angel carefully, expression unreadable. “You’re family. I get it; you believe me, right? I love you too, Cas.” And Castiel’s emotion soars, suspended in hope for a fleeting second - until the next words out of Dean’s mouth decimate the angel’s heart. “As a brother.”

Silence worms it’s way between them as Castiel takes a horrified, reactive step back. That’s it then. That’s how Dean sees him, confirmed from his own mouth. Castiel feels as though he’s been punched through a brick wall; his head spins and for one terrifying second he thinks he might throw up on Dean. He can see Dean’s lips moving but can’t hear a word over the rushing of blood in his ears. His cup crashes to the floor between them and Dean jumps back with a yelp, staring at Cas with growing concern. The overwhelming need to get away from Dean, to be alone to process all this, shoves Cas backwards another few steps and Dean finally seems to understand. He watches as a slow comprehension dawns on the hunter’s face and his mouth opens in slack-jawed shock.

“What the hell-”

“Dean,” Cas’ eyes are brimming with tears and he knows they’re about to fall. He meets the stunned eyes of his hunter, the man who held his heart for so long and has just crushed it between his palms, and backs away, choking on his own words. “I’m sorry, Dean. I’m so damn sorry.”

“Cas, wait-”

But Castiel has already turned and high-tailed down the corridor to his bedroom; the door slams behind him and he slides down it until he’s collapsed on the floor with his back to it, and yet again the tears just won’t stop.