#anyway im trying to grow and learn to live with cptsd but it does mean that like | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

senshibignaturalz · 2 years

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Coming to terms with childhood trauma is fucking insane because yeah I knew this fucjed me up but now that I'm thinking about it why the fuck did my uncle STAY FRIENDS with my dad after seeing me start crying after he called just to yell at me??? Bro what the fuck how could you be friends with someone who does that to a 7 year old??? Insane, and then having the audacity to, now that I'm an adult, be like "oh yeah I never liked him" man u used to hang out with him of your own free will???

#i put up with him because i wanted to make sure you were okay #irrelevant brambling #okay sure you did #i have very complicated feeling about my uncle like yeah i did see him as a father figure and he treated me with basic respect #but also he abused my cousins and one of my friends #and he is a dick to my mum #and he has this stupid saviour complex #but also the only positive (for me anyway) male role model i had???#horrid #hate people being complicated why cant they just be evil or good #sorry to trauma dump on here but it makes me want to tear my hair out ngl #imagine being friends with a man who called his ex wife just to scream abuse at his child who then cried in front of your whole family #absolutely not #and i wonder why i still struggle to trust that my partners dad is genuinely a lovely man 😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫#anyway im trying to grow and learn to live with cptsd but it does mean that like #im forcing myself to have an adult perspective on things #which makes everything else seem so much worse by comparison

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