#anyway my point is lil hal despite his name

[tibli]

im my own personal post-canon for hs, hal gets a body bc he wasnt yeeted into a fucking sprite, so he gets to experience the world once again like he was able to when he was dirk. but he has also diverged from dirk in a way that he is a distinct entity, and decides to keep the name hal to signify this. and he gets to do whatever the fuck he wants

[mutually-screaming]

for death and he

Fandom: Homestuck

AU: Godstuck, but with more cults

Chapter(s): 1/2/??

Ship/Pairing: Dirk/Lil Hal

Summary: Hal needs to feed to survive at this point in his everlasting life. Being a god isn’t easy, especially not when you have virtually no followers. But he’s not god now. He’s a leech. And he needs Dirk to be his host if he wants to survive any longer as a god.

AR: Ever wonder what happens when everything becomes void, Dirk?

Maybe that's enough internet for tonight. One second you're watching someone showing you how to make your own pasta, and the next you're getting religious bots asking you what you think happens after death. Hm. Dirk couldn't say he was a fan. But he was curious.

His laptop remained in his lap, closed, but he stared at it, almost as if he was waiting for it to do something. It wouldn't. But part of him wanted a response to him closing it rather than just the silence that was ensuing. He didn't want to open the laptop back up and find a million pop ups for porn games or whatever viruses do to wreak havoc on electronics these days. If this even was a hacker. It totally had to be a bot.

Nonetheless, despite every fibre of his body not wanting to do it, he slowly opened back up the laptop.

The bright light emitting from it felt blinding in the dark room, but once his eyes adjusted, he noticed two missed messages from this possible bot.

AR: Don't be like that.

AR: You know I'm just trying to be friends. Do you know what a friend is? Chums? Pals? Best bros?

Dirks mind was a mess of questions right now, he didn't even know where to start. Who was this guy, if not a bot? How did he know his name? Why was he asking him about ascension? What the hell does ascension even mean? He could feel his hands shaking a little bit, more out of shock than fear, and quickly got to work on a response.

TT: I don't even know who the hell you are. How did you get my Pesterchum handle?

AR: I wouldn't ask that. But I get that you've got questions. Next question!

The red text seemed to appear almost milliseconds after Dirk sent the message, and the answer was frustrating. Ok. Be a cryptic asshat. Now that he thought about it, this guy was probably a troll. That still didn't answer why or how he got his Pesterchum handle, but he pressed on.

TT: Ok be like that then.

TT: Are you a bot or just some dickhead behind a computer? Because at this rate I'm guessing you're a dickhead behind a computer and I'm gonna have to let you know that you should fuck off.

AR: A little bit of both.

Ok so that was a crock of horseshit, but alright. Dirk didn't believe him. But then again, Dirk was pretty steadily headed down the route of whatever this guy says to him he's going to argue it.

AR: I should probably introduce myself if we're going to get to know each other. I'm Hal, or dickhead in and behind a computer. You've probably heard of me.

AR: You seem like a comfortable guy who might be looking for more, yeah? You're just going through life, clock in, clock out. School, friends, eat, sleep, repeat. The same radically monotonous routine day in and day out.

AR: Don't you want to ascend?

There it is again. Ascend.

TT: Whats that mean.

The response came almost immediately. Three chunks of words sent almost all at the same time in separate messages.

AR: Have you ever thought of being reborn? Reincarnation is one thing, but being reborn into a higher tier of human existence is another. Dying is eminent but your life after this one is forever. You can live on. Become a higher being, a greater being than everyone and everything before you. There is no need to fear when you have ascended your moral realm.

AR: Now, I know that this sounds like bullshit, I get that a lot. But aren't you even curious? You're a smart guy I think, someone who can tell what's a lie and what isn't, but I am telling you the truth here, ascension is one incredible thing. I can show you. For example, I've ascended. I've ascended this gross plane of existence and have become so much more. Don't you want that for yourself?

AR: I can show you how to be a god, Dirk. You have the skills and abilities to create yourself into your best version of yourself here on the mortal plane, sure, but let me show you how to ascend. How to become more than just a college student so bored of his life that he can't even sit through a single fucking party. I can show you how to become more than what you are.

Goosebumps had risen on Dirk's skin. This was officially creeping him out. Whoever this guy--Hal--Hal was a fucking weirdo. He didn't like the fact that he knew what was going on in his life, and he especially didn't like the fact that he knew his information and he especially didn't like the unsolicited encouragement to 'ascend'. That was uncomfortable as hell. His stomach felt sick.

And yet, he prodded further.

TT: So you apparently have my information and clearly you want me to ascend too, but what if I don't want to? Because I don't know about you, but continuing to exist on this 'mortal realm' is a pretty enticing idea my dude. I don't think I really want to ascend with you.

AR: You will.

Yeah right dude, Dirk thought to himself. Hal was a creeper and a weirdo and quite possibly an unholy combination of the two or whatever, that he didn't want to deal with. Glancing at his clock, it was now almost one in the morning. Well, seemed like as good of a time as any to turn it in for the night. Fuck this guy.

TT: Yeah alright dude whatever. Have fun creeping people out or whatever, I'm going to block you.

timaeusTestified [TT] ceased pestering autoResponder [AR]

Dirk waited a second, awaiting another instantaneous response from Hal like he had been receiving, and when that response didn't come, Dirk shrugged and blocked the other from messaging him again. What a fucking weirdo.

Closing his laptop, he set it on his desk with his glasses on top of it before sinking down into the comfort of his pillows on his bed, closing his eyes to sleep. That night it didn't take long for him to knock out, but the last two words that that Hal guy sent him still floated around his head as he faded into sleep.

You will.

Yeah, alright buddy.

~~

It's warm, but Dirk feels goosebumps on his flesh as he stares up at the wooden throne, built from knotted roots and decorated with gaudy jewels and layered with intricate gold designs. He's on his knees before it in seeming veneration, his head tilting down as the figure from the throne steps forward him. The figure is too beautiful for words, there's literally no way to describe it other than otherworldly. More than gorgeous and too ethereal to be stunning.

Its hands are soft as it reaches down to cup his face with its long slender fingers, thumb gently rubbing against his cheek as it tilts his face up for him to look at it. As his eyes flutter open, his gaze travels up, along the slim curves of its body -- his body -- as he looks up. Dirk knew him, but he didn't recognize him. It felt like he's known him all his life. The figure, no, the god, was stunning, his ruby red eyes staring down at him, smiling a smile full of razor sharp teeth. He's beautiful, but he's crying. His ruby red eyes are crying scarlet tears, and they drip down on Dirk's cheeks, his forehead, his lips.

Dirk can taste the iron on his mouth as he tries to reach up to wipe the tears from the other's face. He wanted him. He wanted to join him. He wanted to be him.

The god's nails begin to dig into his cheeks. Slowly but surely grabbing his face harder and harder, his nails puncturing his skin as he pulls his face closer. It doesn't hurt. Dirk finds, he actually likes it. His mouth is slick with blood as he stares into the other's eyes as the god opens his mouth.

"You will."

Dirk woke up.

His body was drenched in sweat and his stomach felt like it had twisted itself into a knot. He also had a hard-on. What the fuck was that dream?

He didn't want to think about it. He felt...gross.

Scratching his head, he sat up in bed. He didn't want to think about it. Didn't want to think about that weird ass dream that he could feel already fading from thought, and he especially didn't want to think about why it fucking gave him a boner. Nope. Fuck that.

He felt sick. A hand pressed against his sweaty forehead, but it didn't really feel too warm in the sense of being sick. Just that it was hot in his dorm.

Grabbing his glasses off of the desk next to his bed, he slid them on and turned on his phone, checking his notifications.

A text from Roxy.

hey sorry for the laet text i didnt see yours. ill see you tomorrrow!

A notification from his grades app. Nothing important there.

And two Pesterchum notifications.

Dirk felt his stomach drop, remembering the eerie conversation he had the night before, and he tapped on the notification, opening them up.

autoResponder [AR] began pestering timaeusTestified [TT]

AR: Good morning. Not gonna lie, I'm a little hurt. Kind of looking to be friends here. Thought you could use some anyways considering what your current social circle's looking like.

AR: Anyways, I should let you know you're not getting rid of me that easy.

Dirk stared at the red texts for a good five minutes. No, no, no, he blocked this douchebag. He could remember going into User Settings and blocking him.

He didn't feel good.

Staring at the message for a good while longer, he felt sick; dropping his phone, he quickly made his way towards the bathroom, before dropping down and sticking his face into that porcelain throne, puking his metaphorical guts out.