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#with no way to physically sense the world around you like you could when you were human
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helmets and hats- MV33/1
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summary- the stress his father put on him never left his head, and neither does his helmet. only until you turn up with his lucky cap.
yes i know max won 2021, this is for the plot don’t come for me
Abu Dhabi 2021. the ride or die race for max and lewis. both of them just one race away from being the world champion. this was one of the biggest races of maxs life. this was what he had been waiting for his whole life. everything his father had put him through was for this. he could not mess this up.
but he did.
you stood in the room with all the engineers and important people who help to ensure maxs car runs perfectly throughout the entire race. you knew how much pressure max had been putting on himself in the weeks leading up to the race. spending 10 times more time at the race simulator and even more time working his body tirelessly to make sure it was race ready. you had watched hopelessly when he would do this many times before and knew this was just how he works. no protest from you will stop him, only make him work harder. he will come to you whenever he needs that little bit of comfort and reassurance, or even just a quick kiss to keep him motivated.
it was your favourite thing. knowing that he still needed you. he could be so deep in his own mind and would still seek you out. only you. he relied on you. for some things more than others, but he still did and you both knew it. he didn't always admit it, or want to, but you both knew. you were his main source of comfort and he couldn't go a day without it. he needed you in every sense of the word. he needed your love, he needed you there to remind him to pack enough socks when he goes away, he needed you to look after him when he was ill and most importantly he needed you there for the losses.
your heart drops when they cross the finish line, further than its ever dropped before. he wanted this so bad, needed it even. he had never lost a race this big before. but you were prepared, you would do the exact same as you did every other loss.
your feet carry you over to the intern whos specific job was to hold maxs hat. it was a very important hat and needed a whole person for it. you had had many interactions with the intern, retrieving his hat every time he lost. she gave you a knowing smile as you took the hat from her hands and went to meet max at you're usual spot.
he doesn't look at anyone as he exits the car and storms off. he physically cant. he doesn't even remove his helmet as he walks over to you, something you were already prepared for. his head is hung low as he approaches you, your hand immediately finding his shoulder. his feet stop in place, keeping his head down. the visor of his helmet was still all the way down so you couldn't make out the expression on his face.
he doesn't say anything as he places his hand softly over yours that sits on his shoulder. you knew not to push him at a time like this, letting him take your comfort when he needs. you stayed like that until you felt a sob rake his body. immediately wrapping your arms around his neck. his arms stayed at his side as you just held him. it wasn't often that he cried, but when he did, he did.
you weren't sure how long you stood there until his hands found your hips. you took this as your sign to move both your hands to his shoulders, finally speaking the words on your mind.
"you did so good baby" your hands moved to the sides of his helmet, attempting to lift it over his head but his hands quickly grabbed yours and brought them down in between the two of you. your face scrunching in compassion. lots of people knew what his father was like when max was younger, you more than most. the constant badgering and abuse never left his head, sticking with him throughout his life. as much as you comforted him and told him how proud you were of him, he always did the same thing after his losses. refusing to take his helmet off.
instead, you move to lift his visor up, catching a quick glimpse of his tear stained cheeks. you didn't see them for long before he quickly swiped it back down to cover his face again. your hand, once again, went back to swipe it up. his hand repeating his previous actions. smiles appeared on both your faces as you both kept up the act. his hand returning to yours when he heard a giggle escape your lips, allowing the visor to stay up. your laugh was his drug.
your head tilted to the side when you finally got to look at him. his cheeks slightly squished from the sides of his helmet and those slightly red eyes staring back at you, full of emotion.
"let me take your helmet off max" you whispered. his eyes shut as he shook his head, dropping it down again. you rested you forehead against the helmet in front of you. hands still gripping each others.
"you're safe baby, ive got you. its just me and you here." his head still didn't rise until you pressed a kiss to the top of his helmet. "im sorry" he croaked. your arms wrapped back around his neck to provide the comfort he desperately needed in that moment. the front of his helmet rested on your shoulder causing your head to tilt to the side, when it did you caught a glimpse of his oh so special hat.
you let go of one of maxs hands and leaned slightly to be able to grab the hat. as you did max slowly lifted his head up to see what you were doing and caught you with the hat in hand. a small smile appeared on his face when he noticed. it was always the small things that he loved about you. the fact that you noticed all the little things that comforted him made him feel so seen and loved in a way that he never had before.
you made eye contact with max and he gave you a small nod, approval to remove his helmet. your hands reached up to the sides of his head and slowly lifted it off. you placed it on the table where the hat had previously sat and moved back in front of max. one hand going to the back of his neck to carefully remove his under layer. you had never seen his face look sadder.
he closed his eyes and moved his head to rest between your neck and shoulder. this time you could feel the tears that were coming from his eyes. your heart breaking even more with every tear that fell.
"im so proud of you max" you whispered gently in his ear.
"i did so bad, schatje baby" his voice could barely be heard as he just felt too weak from everything. his body was filled with emotions that he didn't even know existed. the disappointment he felt was sickening and he didn't quite know how to deal with these feelings. the only thing he could do was cry in your arms.
"no way you didn't, you drove so well my love. that race was yours, it was a split second thing. there was nothing more you could have done. ive never been more proud of you than i am now max, everyone is so proud of you" you always tried your hardest to comfort him after a loss but he was stubborn and rarely actually took in what you said.
"not my dad" his voice was low, as if he didn't even want you to hear what he said. but you did. his father always loomed in the back of his mind no matter what he was doing. his fathers voice booming through his brain.
"he isn't here, no one else matters but me and you right now. im proud of you and thats all that matters. you've given this season your all, trust me i would know" a soft smile fell on your lips, max couldn't help but stare at your mouth as you talked. "you've spent countless hours in that bloody gym at home and did everything you could to make sure the best max was out on them tracks this season. i promise you max so many people will believe that you won this race and are standing behind you" his face had seemed to calm down a little now. his eyebrows no longer scrunched and his frown was slowly become flat.
his eye fell to the hat that was in your hand, your eyes doing the same. your smile got bigger as you knew what he wanted. you quickly secured the hat on its rightful place on maxs head. hats had slowly become a comfort for max. you would hardly ever see him without one, especially on race weekends. it became a shield between him and the scary eyes of the world. all he needed to do was tilt his head slightly down and he was alone and away from the chaos.
he quickly secured his lips to yours as his hands found the sides of your neck. your hands grabbing his wrists. he needed one final reassurance from you before he had to face the horrible questions of the media.
"go do what you need to do baby, call me and ill come find you. remember, im so proud of you." you placed a final kiss to his nose and cheek before he grabbed his helmet and began to make his way out the room. "you'll always be my champion max verstappen" you winked before he disappeared out the room.
he was a champion, he didnt need a trophy to prove it.
i hope you enjoyed my first max fic, many more to come. please send me requests i love hearing them
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luvvsim · 2 days
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⋆ 。⋆୨୧˚— I’M NOT THE ONLY ONE.
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𝜗𝜚 ༘⋆ ⋆˙pairing. husband! park sunghoon x fem! reader synopsis. you and sunghoon swore to be faithful to each other, unfortunately sunghoon couldn’t keep that promise. genre. angst ,, wc. 2012. 𝐥u𝐧a notes ⋆.˚ guys…how r we liking the layout 🤭.. 🫧 — 𝓵𝗂𝖻𝗋𝖺𝗋𝔂
if you enjoyed reading ,, pls like and reblog !! ‹𝟹 it helps out a lot ¡!
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the past year had been a painful rollercoaster of emotions, each high point you’ve had has been followed by a devastating low. you remembered the countless amount of nights you waited for sunghoon, watching the clock tick away the hours as he stayed out late, you had gotten so used to the sound.
the scent of his cologne lingering on his clothes when he finally came home, the way his tie was undone, the way he avoided your gaze when you asked where he'd been. your accusations of him being unfaithful were met with immediate denials, his words cutting deep even as he tried to reassure you that you were his one and only love.
"i would never cheat on you, y/n" he'd say, pulling you into his arms.
"you're my everything." he would say with that look in his eyes, with both love and a conflict he is fighting deep within himself.
and you believed him, of course you would. he’s the same boy who courted you for six months in university because he was so deeply in love with you, the same man who flew you both to hawaii and gave you the most magical proposal ever to be done.
you tried to hold onto the love and trust that had once been so strong, so unshakeable. but each forgotten date, each broken promise chipped away at your trust, leaving you feeling hollow and alone.
today, on the morning of your anniversary, you awoke with a sense of something different, hope for you and sunghoon.
this would be the day you reminded sunghoon of the love you still had for him, and always will. the love that had brought you together in the first place.
you spent hours in the kitchen, preparing his favorite dishes, your hands moving with practiced ease as you cooked. the smell of his favourite kimchi stew and freshly made kimbap filled the air, the same cooking he said he would never ever get tired of.
the scents mingling with the hope that maybe, just maybe, this would be the gesture that rekindled sunghoon’s love for you, you missed his touch, his kisses, the sparkle in his eyes, he still has it- but nowadays all he could really do is look down.
as you wrapped a red bow around the lunchbox, you grinned, perfect.
you drove to his office, each mile a reminder of the distance that had grown between you. as you walked through the lobby, your heart pounded with a mix of anticipation, fear, and longing.
the elevator ride seemed to take forever, the seconds stretching out as you rehearsed what you would say, how you would greet him, how you would kiss him.
but nothing in the world could have prepared you for the sight that met you when you opened the door to his office. sunghoon, your husband, the man you had vowed to love and cherish, for better or for worse, was locked in an embrace with his secretary, their lips moving together in a kiss that was all too passionate, all too real.
the box slipped from your hands, the sound of shattering glass, some pieces piercing your legs barely registering as you stood frozen in place.
you felt like you had been stabbed in the heart, you had never felt heartbreak before, and you didn’t understand people when they said everything hurt, now you did.
"y/n," sunghoon's voice broke through the fog of your shock, his eyes wide with panic as his hands trembled.
the hand with your wedding ring trembling.
"this isn't what it looks like honey,”
your chest tightened at the name, the name he couldn’t be bothered to address you as in months.
tears blurred your vision as you shook your head. the pain was unbearable, a physical ache that made it hard to breathe. without a word, you turned and fled, the sound of sunghoon calling your name fading as you ran. the drive home was a blur, sobbing as you got concerned looks from other cars, you were not in any shape to be driving, really.
but you didn’t care- your mind was reeling with the betrayal you had just witnessed.
at home, the same home you and sunghoon bought a month after your marriage- the home with six bedrooms because that was how many kids sunghoon wanted to have with you, the same home where you and sunghoon had late night talks, wrapped in each others embrace.
you moved through the house like a ghost, avoiding staring at the picture frame at the end of the hall, a picture taken on your wedding day.
your hands mechanically packing your belongings. each item you placed in your suitcase felt like another piece of your heart being chipped away.
you were almost finished when you heard the front door slam open, sunghoon's frantic footsteps echoing through the house.
“y/n-“
he cut himself off at the sight before him- the suitcase being packed, the sight of the wardrobe being oddly empty because your clothes would always be overflowing it.
"y/n, no.. please," he begged, sobbing as he fell to his knees before you. "don't leave me. i can't live without you, i won’t do it ever again."
you looked down at him, your heart aching with a mix of love and complete despair.
even after what he did to you, all you wanted to do was to be held by him again, all you wanted all these months was for him to finally long for you like you longed for him- how unfortunate the circumstances were, you thought.
his tears fell down his glass cheeks, his hands trembling as he reached out to you, you shivered at his touch, it felt so foreign, unfamiliar.
"i made a mistake," he cried, his voice raw with emotion. "i love you more than anything in this whole world. please, give me another chance- i’ll make you the happiest girl in the world, we’ll have six kids and we’ll grow old together!”
your mind wavered for a moment, the memories of your life together flashing through your mind. the happiest memories of your life with sunghoon in them, but you knew that staying would only be betraying yourself, that the trust between you had been shattered much beyond repair.
leaning down, you pressed a gentle kiss to his cheek, it wasn’t for him, it was for yourself. the taste of his tears mingling with your own.
"goodbye, hoon," you whispered, your voice breaking. "i hope you find the happiness you couldn't find with me."
with a final look at the man who had once been your everything, you turned and walked out the door, the sound of your suitcase trailing behind you as you tried to keep your composure at the hysterical sobbing from sunghoon behind you.
the drive to your best friend heeseung's house was filled with the sound of your sobs and screaming, each mile taking you further from the life you had known.
when he opened the door, heeseung’s heart dropped. his eyes filled with concern at the sight of you. he pulled you into his arms without a word.
"it's okay, y/n," he murmured, his voice a soothing whisper to your wounded heart. "i'm here for you, im not leaving."
you clung to him, your tears soaking his shirt as you let out all the pain and heartache that had been building inside you. heeseung's presence was a comforting anchor in the storm of your emotions, his embrace a reminder that you were not alone.
as the night wore on, you found solace in the company of your best friend, knowing that you had made the right choice, even though it had shattered your heart into delicate pieces, pieces you didn’t know could be fixed.
in heeseung's arms, you allowed yourself to grieve the loss of the love you had once believed in, the loss of your best friend, and lover. the betrayal, the heartbreak, all of it poured out in waves of tears and hushed sobs.
heeseung listened to you without interruption, his presence feeling like a heavy blanket over you and the world, comfort as you navigated the gut wrenching feeling in your heart.
"it's not your fault, love" he said softly, brushing a strand of hair from your tear-streaked face.
"you did everything you could." he said looking at you with a gaze in which you didn’t notice, you never did. the gaze you’d given sunghoon for years, the gaze he gave you long before you’d even met sunghoon.
"but it wasn't enough, hee" you replied, your tears rolling down your cheeks, voice raspy from all the sobbing, it was barely above a whisper.
"i wasn't enough."
heeseung shook his head, his expression filled with an ache in his heart and anger at your self doubt. "no, y/n. you are enough. you always have been. sunghoon's mistakes don't define your worth, he’s the dumbest man to ever live, i’d do anything to have you."
you turned to him, bewildered at his words. you looked down at his shaking hands as you sobbed wrapping your arms around him.
“i’m so sorry, hee. i’m selfish, you don’t deserve this- you should tell me to leave-“
he cut you off with a hard hug, you cried harder as his own tears soaked your bare neck.
“don’t say that- i don’t care if i get hurt, or you use me, i don’t. all i need is you beside me, okay? don’t worry about anything.”
his words, though comforting, couldn't fully erase the pain that lingered in your heart. but in that moment, surrounded by the warmth of your best friend's embrace, the love that radiates off of his body.
you felt a glimmer of hope, you were in no shape of moving on just yet, the road ahead would be difficult, filled with moments of utter pain and sorrow, but you knew that you wouldn't have to face it alone.
as the orange sunset began to filter through the windows, you found yourself at a break from the pain in your heart, staring out at the view in peace. heeseung's steady breathing beside you, the quiet hum of the world settling down, it all felt like a promise that everything would be okay.
you took a deep breath, letting the fresh air fill your lungs, and allowed yourself to believe that maybe, you would find happiness again.
with heeseung by your side, you faced the days ahead with strength. the pain of sunghoon's betrayal would always be a part of you forever, but it wouldn't define you. in the embrace of heeseung and the promise of a new beginning, you found the courage to move forward, one step at a time.
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© luvvsim 2024 network ⊹ ࣪ ˖ @enchive
taglist open <3 @luvlyhee @sjyunnsworld @shawnyle
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animeyanderelover · 3 days
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@lucyrose9820 asked: The yanderes receive a massage from her lover since she has seen them stressed (Sanemi, Tomioka, Reiner, Erwin, Kaneki, Tomura, Pain, chae yul).
Tw: Yandere themes, toxic relationship, possessive, behavior, obsession, clinginess, delusional behavior
Tags: @shumidehiro @swagenemyartisan @chxxz @flaming-vulpix @leveyani @iloveeyanderes @nightmaresprophet
Receiving a massage from their s/o
Pain
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🌧️​Pain is a unique case because all the bodies he uses are corpses and his real body is always hidden away, even you get to see Nagato rarely. Physical affection is due to this fact in a sense almost pointless as you essentially only have the puppets he uses. Giving one of his bodies a massage wouldn't even resolve his stress yet he wouldn't deny you if you were to ask if you could do this for one of his bodies, most likely the one of Yahiko if we consider that this is the body he keeps around the most. There is going to be a potentially tense atmosphere though which is mainly derived from the lack of reaction from Pain's side as you massage the cold skin of one of his bodies. It is Yahiko's real body who would be in a more urgent need of a massage yet he'd be very adament on not letting you touch him. His body is in a terrible condition, wrecked beyond repair and you'd need a good portion of his trust for him to let you that close for that long to him, that is if you can even handle the sight of his destroyed and sick body. He'd be so tense the entire time though as you somehow have to work your way around the black rods embedded in his skin, purple eyes constantly looking at you slightly uncomfortable.
Erwin Smith
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🎖️​Erwin is a man loaded with ambitions, responsibility and duties as the Commander of the Survey Corps and with that position comes a good portion of stress and problems at times. Normally he'd do his best to hide potential stress he is feeling from you but you eventually learn to read the subtle signs that something is plaguing his mind. Whether he actually accepts your offer or not is actually something that depends on what it is exactly that weighs on his mind as he is the type to keep such things to himself. He'd give in with a subtle sigh when he caves in and accepts your offer before he removes his shirt and lays down on your shared bed. He'd be quiet for the first half of it all until he starts slowly loosening up and starts talking with you. It'll mainly be about small and unimportant things as he remains secretive about what it is that is currently the source of his stress though if you manage to really kneed the stress out of his back muscles well, he may vaguely talk about the predicament he finds himself currently in. He'll also guide you a bit by telling you which areas are stiff and need the help of your fingers kneeding all the tension out of them.
Reiner Braun
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🟤​Reiner's wellbeing, at least mentally, relies largely on you as the years pass and he receives trauma after trauma. This is no secret to you either as he panics and has meltdowns if he can't find you, extremely paranoid as well as terrified that you may end up leaving him too which would leave him utterly devastated and unable to deal with his life. His stress is very visible and he always reaches out to you first whenever it gets the better of him, which happens quite frequently. Any reassurance and affection is welcomed in such situations which is why he'd agree before you can even finish your question. He'll be a putty mess the entire time as your hands squeeze and massage his tense muscles, his breath hitching a couple of times when you find an especially tense knot and work your way through those spots until they loosen up. Instead of talking, he'd prefer to hear your voice throughout the massage as it is his favorite sound in the world. Talk about your day, your favorite memories or just whisper reassurances to him, you'll have him melting underneath you no matter what.
Tomura Shigaraki
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✋Shigaraki is an individual who is prying for your affection and depending on which version we're talking about, he'll be either very bratty about it or more secretive and mature. He's always been a malicious and twisted person but he hasn't always considered that this would influence your own feelings for him which is why he would be more surprised to hear such an offer from you after he's freed himself from the shackles of his past due to him being more understanding of your possibly conflicted feelings for him at this stage. Pre-Re-Destro Tomura would be surprisingly iffy at first though, wondering if you have any hidden intentions whilst post-Re-Destro Tomura would be better to assess your request as honest and innocent, his own heart fluttering for a moment when he realises that you do seem to care for him. Shigaraki isn't used to being touched much and his bratty version is going to make that obvious by constantly squirming around when your fingers dig into his muscles and constantly stealing glances at you with a growing blush on his face whilst a more mature version of himself-whilst facing the same sensitivity- would be able to hide it better whilst remaining still.
Ken Kaneki
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🔲​The biggest cause of Kaneki's stress is going to be his own insecurity in regards to you. Constantly fretting over your wellbeing and your safety whilst completely dismissing his own needs, you become the center of his world. He thinks of himself as despicable and a monster, thinks any hatred you feel for him is justified all whilst secretly craving for you to give him a slice of affection still. His heart nearly jumps out of his chest when he hears your question before he turns around with reddened cheeks, eyes blown wide open as he stutters and stammers. A-are you sure? Did he just hear that right? Easily manipulated to follow your every beckon and call as long as it doesn't require him to part ways with you, despite his low self-esteem he finds himself being guided to the futon where he lies down and removes his shirt. His heart is pounding and his face is burning the moment your fingers brush the skin on his back, his muscles tensing up due to how flustered and nervous he is feeling for a good while until he slowly starts relaxing. He gets embarrassed when he lets out a throaty grunt for the first time when your fingers dig into stiffened muscles until you reassure him that it's fine.
Tomioka Giyu
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🌊​Giyu is a person who tends to get stressed out not only by his status as a Hashira and his survivor guilt but also because the people around him stress him out. Though he wouldn't admit it openly as he's aware os his obsessive feelings, your presence is needed in order for him to have some semblance of peace in his life. Your question catches him by surprise as he stops what he is doing for a second before he turns around to look at you with his deep blue eyes. Seconds trickle by and the situation gets somewhat awkward until you swear that you can see a faint pink blush on his face. You'll have to pester him for a while as you realise that he's feeling a tad bit shy with the aspect of having you touch him that much. Stubbornness eventually leads you to where you wanted to have him as he rests on his stomach on the futon, his torso bare for you to work on. He's almost too silent though so you feel the need to ask him sometimes how it feels and if there are any stiff spots he'd like you to work through and his answers are as short and laconic as ever. It's only when you catch a sight of his face that you realise that the pink blush has spread on his face as he feels your hands touching him.
Shinazugawa Sanemi
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🌪️​As someone who has a rather short temper and thinks of himself at times surrounded by idiots, Sanemi finds himself on more than one occasion in a bad mood. Luckily you manage to cool his scorching temper efficiently by now as you have been more or less forced to adapt after all. It is your experience in how to handle him when he comes storming back to the house with a scowl on his face that leads you to ask him if he'd like you to give him a massage. He does stop for a moment to process your words before he agrees and drags you to the bedroom. He quickly undresses before flopping down on the futon, his scarred and muscular back facing you, flexing his muscles on purpose. If he notices that your gaze lingers on his scars and muscles, he's going to give you a cocky grin before reminding you to not forget to use your hands in between admiring his body so much. He'll remain surprisingly silent as soon as you start working on his back though, only the occasional grunt leaving his lips when you find a especially tense spot. He enjoys it a lot, in fact so much that he kind of demands you to do this more often from him whenever he has to deal with another bunch of idiots again.
Chae Yul
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💜​Chae Yul is openly trying to coax any affectionate response out of you whilst busily smothering you in his own. He's touch-starved and deprived of any love and affection and acts like it to the point where he disturbs other people with his burning jealousy and possessive clinginess. Any affection you give him is something he will pounce on like a starved dog. His face immediately bursts into a red blush when you ask him if he'd be fine with you giving him a massage as he has been stressed out lately due to some of your friends trying to convince you that he is a bad influence for you. He agrees with a giddy grin on his face, his shirt tossed carelessly to the ground as he turns around to give you access. The blush only deepens as soon as your fingers dig into his flesh, his hands tightening their hold on the material beneath him as he starts to whimper whenever you find an especially good spot and press into his tense muscles. It honestly sounds like you're doing more than just giving him a massage, the red blush on his face not helping the image but he is much more shameless as he has fully embraced how depraved your love has made him.
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oddly-casual · 2 days
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Gaap Goemon appreciation post/ Character Analysis
because I need y'all to hype him up as much as I do.
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I was a fan of the Mairimashita Iruma Kun anime many moons ago, and just recently I got back into it. Finished the manga. Walked away loving the entire Misfit class. Most of all, I see a criminal lack of Gaap content. So, here's why I love Gaap and why I think you should too.
By all accounts, there isnt a whole lot of focus or information about Gaap that goes beyond the depth of a kiddy pool. (It's like that for most of the misfits tbh...) Still, Gaap gets more focus than most.
Kindness and care:
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The thing about Gaap that stands out the most, is how much of a natural caretaker this kid is.
He greets everyone he meets with respect. Often using the honorific "Dono" Which google tells me translates to "Lord" or "Master". Almost every time he greets somebody he always has an offer of Hell tea and onigiri. He always makes sure to take care of his guests and his friends. This kid has no shortage of manners. So polite.
In the Harvest Festival arc, Gaap is the one who goes out to save the other students even when Agares has valid points about why rescuing a bunch of demons they dont know wouldn't benefit them in any way. In the festival, where the entire point is to be a cut above the rest, what did Gaap do?
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We see little examples of Gaap's kindness. How he defends his friends and is usually on the front lines whenever someone's well-being is cause for concern.
This boy is the mom friend who always had a painkiller and a stack of bandaids on hand. He's such a mom friend that he canonically fights with Jazz when it comes to taking care of their classmates. (They both have a caretaker complex.)
It's also the way Gaap responds to stress! In the Heartbreaker arc, Gaap is paired up with two first-years who won't stop fighting. This obviously stresses the boy out, because he had high expectations of getting along with his first years, but it didn't turn out that way.
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The first thing Gaap does is try to offer them food, something we see Gap do to Agares when he snaps at him. When the offer of food doesnt work, he instead tries to assure the first years that everything will be fine. Even if Gaap isn't confident, his first instinct is to try to appeal to and take care of people. Even if that's not what they want.
It’s interesting, because Gaap doesn’t physically get in between them, like you would expect him to do. He avoids conflict when it gets physical, despite being such a capable fighter. (Though when it comes to saving others, he has no problem acting.)
Friends and Habits:
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We get to know Gaap the most when he's around other people. Obviously, because he's a secondary character. I think another aspect of this is because Gaap is a social creature, he thrives around people. We rarely see Gaap standing alone and this makes sense because his goal is to have 100 allies.
In the demon world, we know that demons usually dont care about saving or helping others if it doesnt help them. Nor do they have the drive to see their efforts to the end, because they get bored rather quickly. Gaap breaks out of this status quo, along with the rest of the Misfits, by stubbornly pushing towards his goal even when the fruits of his labor dont bloom right away.
The biggest showcase of this drive is the person Gaap takes care of the most, that we know of.
Chapter 111 shows us that Gaap came to Agares' house every day. check it, every day. Gaap would go out of his way with breakfast and pick Agares up so he could make it to class.
Agares clearly doesnt want to go, but Gaap takes him anyway, refusing to leave him behind. From what we can guess, he's been doing it before they started training together. Which could mean Gaap didn't know this kid, but saw he wasn't going to class and went to go take care of him. (Classic extrovert adopting their introvert friend).
We see how that kindness affects Agares as a result. Agares feels guilty when he snaps at Gaap and goes out of his way to visit Gaap when he doesn't show up for class. (This could also mean Agares went to class on his own, without Gaap having to force him.)
Agares was also willing to help the people Gaap saved. Even when telling Gaap not to go out and save those people, Agares still houses them, keeps them safe, and even plans an escape route for the other students when things look bad. It's a lot of hassle for a character who hates being bothered. Gaap's kindness is contagious, even if it's not obvious at first glance.
Oh, Maybe He's Kinda Fucked Up?
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No one escapes childhood unscathed.
Gaap is a caretaker, he does it happily. Even so, when you put yourself in the position to take care of others, there are parts of yourself that fall into neglect that you dont realize.
After the Heartbreaker arc (Chapter 272), Gaap is noticeably absent. We find out later, what happens when you fuck with the nice guy too much.
Maybe it was his crushed expectations, the stress of failing and losing, or maybe Gaap was just tired of being nice but he goes apeshit. Accidentally slipping into his Wicked cycle and nearly driving two students mad with his fucked up face.
We learn that showing your true face is a big no-no in the Gaap household. It's literally written on the walls, and Gaap feels immense shame and embarrassment that he broke a family rule.
He hides his face in his hands, and puts a bag over his face when Agares comes over. He's afraid of hurting someone again, even though the stress of those events have passed.
We dont know his parents' reaction, (because aint no way they dont know) Whether Gaap was disciplined by his parents or not, Gaap put this huge weight on his shoulders. Not blaming the stress of the situation, but blaming himself for losing control.
Gaap specifically said, “I panicked”. Which could mean that with all the stressors, he snapped and just lashed out. Gaap didn't willingly enter his wicked phase, I think he just gave in to his instincts. His bloodline originally started by warding off predators with their maddening appearance. What is panic if not your brain responding as if your body is in danger?
Despite Gaap reasonably getting upset, he still feels terrible for the trouble he caused and the students he hurt. The first thing he did after waking up was to ask if he could apologize to the first years for mentally scarring them.
Gaap’s ambition is to make 100 allies. It's pretty sweet. When a teenager says it(Gaap looks 17 yrs old), It just sounds like he wants to have friends. Pair this up with the fact that Gaap rarely asks for anything in return, and suddenly his wanting a ton of friends makes sense for someone who looks his age. Gaap takes care of people because he wants them to like him. (Even if he can drive them away with how much he cares.)
I have no idea where this desire comes from. If it's something his family drills into him, to be sociable and network, or if it's just a personal goal because of his ugly ahh face.
Regardless, this moment makes me want to lie down on the road while it rains:
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Despite how much his ambition means to him, he is willing to isolate himself as long as it means no one else gets hurt. This speaks to his good intentions. It isn't just about the popularity or all the favors he could have from knowing so many demons. It's about forming genuine relationships with other demons and providing them a soft place to land and build community.
Look at my son, he tries so hard.
My final point:
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Look at how cool he is. This is Chapter 76, my boy came out the gate swinging with powerful bloodline magic. He's got the position, he's got technique, he's got flare. What more could you ask for?
Gaap started out as rank 2, and since then has had no problem leveling himself up. Gaap always stays on his feet (Hence his nickname Busy Body), not letting himself fall behind his classmates. He aced his training and had since learned to use Wind as a companion and not as a tool. He even developed a full-range attack where he can pick which targets get hit by his swing and which dont. He is leveling up in the world. Dont hurt em now Gaap.
Conclusion:
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I'm the equivalent of those parents who show off pictures of their kids from their wallet.
Gaap as a character, in the story he's in, isn't anything really new or groundbreaking. Even still, in a story like Mairimashita Iruma-Kun, the Misfit class are demons that are different. We get to learn why they're different, and how they learn to overcome these challenges despite how they threaten to hold them back.
Gaap is a good kid that you watch succeed from the background. We see him struggle and fall apart, but he never stops caring about others in that process. He's that good-natured kid in your life that you hope succeeds because in a cruel world, they make the decision to be kind.
If anyone made it this far, slay. Even if you never noticed Gaap before, I hope you have a new appreciation for his character. Nishi took time and love to write him out, I think that deserves attention too.
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feelslksugar · 19 hours
Text
shades of cool (traditional husband anakin x bimbo reader)
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A/N;  I apologize for the delay I got so busy out of nowhere, but. AGAIN! This is something very self-indulgent. I don’t know if this needs to be said but I DO NOT condone any of this behavior. Very dark and triggering content ahead so PLEASE read the warnings below and read at your own risk. (I also apologize for any errors it's so late)
+ DON’T LIKE DON’T READ! Argue with the wall I will not argue with you idgaf!
Warnings;  DARK CONTENT, DEAD DOVE, reader gaslights herself a lot, blood, biting (drawing blood), unhappy marriage, degradation, choking, mind break, lots of eye contact, Anakin is very sadistic and sick, breeding kink, mentions of breastfeeding, mentions/threats of cheating/infidelity, hair pulling, baby trapping, name-calling, female reader, p in v sex, feminine pet names used, angst, gender roles, Anakin is VERY mean, physical abuse, slapping, non-con, dub-con, dacryphilia, abusive and toxic relationship themes, EXTREME sexism and misogyny, the reader is in her early 20s and Anakin is in his late 30s/early 40s, the reader is a bimbo, mention of grooming. If there are any warnings that I’m forgetting please let me know! 
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The moment Anakin Skywalker laid his eyes on you he knew he could shape you into whoever he wanted you to be. It would take time, sure. But you weren’t like those other girls around you who subscribed to feminist ideology and thought being completely dependent on a man wasn’t the way to go. 
You were just different. 
Ditzy, submissive, a little codependent, and that air of promiscuity that followed. 
Not that any of those traits were a bad thing or even a dealbreaker to him. In a world of college girls who yearned to be completely independent and self-sufficient. There you were. A dumb submissive but well-meaning young woman who wouldn’t challenge him and didn’t mind being lascivious. Perfect.
From the moment you met, there were many things he LOVED so very much about you. Number one was your fashion sense and your willingness to show so much skin. In the past, there have been countless men that have given you flack for the way you dressed. Being told constantly you weren’t so-called “wife material”.
 It came as a shock that the older man that you had assumed would be a lot more conservative than your college aged peers said he loved your fashion sense and didn’t mind when you showed skin. 
He loved watching you strut around in those mini skirts that didn’t leave much to the imagination with those crop tops that put your cleavage on full display. It triggered something primal in him. 
In fact, the first few chance meetings you had with Anakin he couldn’t help but stare at your pretty cleavage and your plump ass hanging out of those god-forsaken mini skirts.
 He always did so unashamedly because he knew a girl like you wouldn’t mind, right? 
You were his very own little bimbo. Perfect wife material.  
He’s not getting any younger after all. He needs to settle down soon with a young woman who could be the perfect docile, sweet, and forgiving wife.
.・。.・゜✭・❤・✫・゜・。..・。.・゜✭・❤・✫・゜・。.
As soon as you started dating Anakin it became increasingly clear the large age gap made you a little more susceptible to his tricks. 
To him, you were practically BEGGING him to transform you into his very own traditional wife. You were just too sweet and submissive for your own good and it would be a shame if your potential went unnoticed.
Since your first date with the older man, he made his intentions clear as day. He knew what he wanted from a pretty girl like you and that was marriage.
Sweetheart, you know I’m much older than you, right? 
You’re okay with that?
Nonsense, I think you’re the perfect age to get married Honey.
.・。.・゜✭・❤・✫・゜・。..・。.・゜✭・❤・✫・゜・。.
You would say the first couple months of your marriage to Anakin were amazing. You’d even go as far as to say everything was perfect. 
Anakin seemed like the ideal husband and he made you feel like you were on cloud nine. In the back of your mind you did think things did move a little too fast. But those red flags didn’t bother you at the moment. You were just too blind-sighted by the all-over consuming feelings of love you had for your seemingly perfect husband. 
.・。.・゜✭・❤・✫・゜・。..・。.・゜✭・❤・✫・゜・。.
“I said be a good wife and just listen to me,” Anakin’s voice tickled you as he spoke against the sensitive skin of your ear. Not wanting anyone to hear him. 
His tone was soft but very firm. It was one you never heard him use with you before. He was repeating himself. Demanding you listen to him. He hardly ever had to repeat himself to you. He didn’t like to tell anyone to do anything twice and he made that abundantly clear from the moment you two met.  If he wanted something done it needed to be done the first time. Correctly. Don’t make him repeat himself.
But alas there he was. Repeating himself because his wife can’t follow his leadership. 
Why would you WANT to disobey your lovely husband anyway? He knows what's best for his precious wife. You're just a sweet little docile woman after all. Let a man take care of you. Let him be in control. 
“Just fucking listen to me you’re embarrassing me. You’re making me look like a bad husband right now.”
“Know your place as a woman and shut up.”
Whenever disagreements like this happened you were forced to pretend his words didn’t hurt. And even that proved to be difficult. You did as he said most of the time but he was just so mean whenever you stepped out of line, but could you blame him? 
No man wants a wife that’s so defiant.
“I don’t want to,” You huffed and crossed your arms. His demand pushed you to your absolute limit. You couldn’t stand his domineering and chauvinist attitude anymore. The way he demanded you to listen to him and demanded you obey him just because you’re his wife made you feel ill, and you knew If you allowed it once he would only get worse over time. 
This was the first time you ever stood your ground against your husband and it was nerve-wracking but it needed to happen you thought. He can’t get away with telling you to just listen to him. You’re your own person apart from being his wife. Who does he think he is? 
 “Oh? You don’t want to?” His voice deepened and his gaze darkened. The energy in the room shifted and it was unlike anything you had ever experienced in your whole marriage. You’d be lying if you said you weren’t consumed by fear at the moment. His gaze made you feel like prey. like he would pounce on you and tear you to pieces at any given moment. This was uncharted territory. Whenever he told you to be quiet you obeyed him blindly, never questioning his authority. Wanting to be the best wife you could be. 
You didn’t realize you were stuttering and staring at Anakin like a deer in the headlights until he scoffed at your lack of response.
 “Okay then,” 
“Look at me,” He orders. Your stomach drops when you feel his hand suddenly grab your chin. Forcing you to look at him. “Listen, you dumb fucking bimbo.” The grip he had on your chin tightened when his next sentence began. “I don’t want a disobedient wife. If I tell you to listen to me then you fucking listen to me no questions asked.” His eyes were shooting daggers into yours. You swore you had never felt such intense anger before. 
The way he forced you to make direct eye contact with him while he spit his venom. Making sure you were hearing and understanding every single word felt oddly intimate. 
But what did he call you?
Bimbo?
“I picked you out of all of those dumb broads, but now I’m starting to realize that might have been a mistake.” His grip loosens; he has to keep it together when he sees your eyes begin to water when you begin to understand the severity of his words. He wanted to smile right in your face and push your buttons until you cried until you couldn’t anymore, but he couldn’t. Not yet at least. 
What fun would it be if he broke you so early on?
“You don’t realize how lucky you are. You’re treated like a princess and I work all day to make sure you never go without and you want to be disobedient? Fine. I can find another slutty bimbo anywhere. I’ll find one that can listen, unlike you.” He snaps and unhands your face. Not caring to be gentle with you before pushing your face out of his way and walking towards the front door. 
Not even acknowledging the tears that begin to stream down your face or the way his push made you almost fall to the floor. 
“A-Anakin wait!” Your voice cracks when you desperately yell out to get his attention before he reaches the front door. Desperate for him to stay and not go out and find another ‘slutty bimbo’. Fat tears continue streaming down your cheeks until your vision begins to go blurry. 
You expected him to feel bad when he heard you yell out to him and choke back your sobs. He was the kind of husband who hated making you cry (or so you thought). He was always there to comfort you whenever you were sad and would do anything to cheer you up on your darkest day. But it was just different this time and it scared you. He didn’t even turn around. 
Unbeknownst to you, he was reveling in the fact that only he could make you feel this way so easily. He adored the fact that he could reduce you to a sobbing mess with ease. 
You were sensitive and dumb just how he liked his women. 
“P-please don’t go!” The sobs you were trying so hard to hold back left your body when you realized he wasn’t turning around or even trying to comfort you. The only thing you could do was watch him through your blurry vision as he inched closer to the front door. “Anakin, please! I’m sorry I’ll be good!” You cry out to him in a last-ditch effort before you fall to your knees with your head in your hands.
But he finally turned around.
You truly were a sight for sore eyes. 
The sight of you reduced to a crying begging mess made his cock twitch. 
If he knew it was this easy to break you down. He would have broken you a long time ago. 
The feeling that coursed through his body while he watched you have a breakdown was foreign. It felt almost orgasmic. 
He almost felt bad. Almost.
When he snaps out of his lust-filled daydream he begins to walk toward your crying form. Crouching when he was right next to you. He watched you so intently. Your head was in your hands while you continued to sob and cry out his name. So consumed by melancholy that you didn’t even notice him right next to you. 
Poor thing.
 “Aw, you’re sorry?” He mocks in a sick faux sympathetic tone. His voice startled you. You were too consumed by your own tears to notice he was now crouched beside you. “And you’ll be a good wife? Hm?” His voice kept that fake sympathetic cadence. It was sick. He knew you were dumb enough to fall for the deceptive sympathy he was feeding you on a silver platter. 
Not even a second passes before you feel a harsh tug on the roots of your hair. 
“You took too long to respond.” 
You’re forced to make eye contact with Anakin once again but this time he has a death grip on the roots of your hair.
“Answer me,” His grip on your hair tightens when you choke on your own words. Being unable to say anything of substance. “Y-yes! I’m sorry I-I– I really didn’t mean to talk back. I'm so sorry, please forgive me.” You were too scared to look him in those piercing eyes. 
“I don’t know— Good wives wouldn’t be so bratty now would they?” He whispers being extra careful to not raise his voice and startle you any more than you already were.
Tears continue to trickle down your cheeks. The way he doubted your ability to be a good wife made you feel worse. If you weren’t a good wife, then what’s the point?
“I– No, good wives don’t talk back and I really shouldn’t have I–” Your sentence was abruptly cut short when you felt the pressure on your scalp release suddenly. Anakin had to hide the smile that began to creep up on his face as he watched you fall to the ground.
The way your hands flailed. Desperate to grab onto something and stop yourself from falling face-first onto the hard floor. It was just too good. 
“What was that? You’ll have to repeat yourself.” He has to hide just how amused he is watching you stumble and hold yourself up in such a state of distress.
By the time you finally found your footing again and held yourself up, you tried your absolute best to not make a big deal out of being dropped by Anakin. You knew it would just result in him mocking you for being so dramatic. 
“I said I–” You start again looking up at the man in front of you hoping to repeat yourself without interruptions this time. 
Silly girl.
Do you think he’d let you finish? 
You don’t get to finish.
Your words and train of thought come to a sudden halt when you feel a sudden sharp sting on your right cheek. 
Did he just fucking slap you? 
“What baby?— I don’t understand.” The shock of being slapped rendered you speechless. Anakin really did just fucking slap you. “You know what– It doesn’t matter. Stand up.” He chirps and stands up waiting for you to follow suit. That fucking asshole didn’t even want to hear what you had to say. It didn’t matter either way. He just wanted to make you look like a fucking idiot. 
The pain lingered on your cheek but you couldn’t let it distract you for too long. You tried your best to stand up as fast as you could in the state you were in. You feared if you took even a little too long Anakin would act unpredictably.
 “See, I knew you could follow my orders. I didn’t even have to repeat myself. Good girl.” He leans in to give your reddening cheek a kiss. “I don’t like hitting my pretty wife. Y’ know, I need you to look perfect,” His voice was softer now. As if he was speaking to an injured animal. 
“You forced my hand Sweetheart. I needed to teach my wife a lesson.” He coos while tucking a stray piece of hair behind your ear. “What kind of husband would I be if I let you act so unladylike?”
“I’m sorry.” You mutter under your breath. Anakin being so gentle after acting so brash made you uneasy. 
 “I’m sorry too baby come here.” He tilts your head up so you’re looking straight up at him. He places a tender kiss on your lips. It felt so pleasant after being taught a ‘lesson’. 
There he was. The sweet, kind, and giving man you married. 
Could you ever stay mad at him?
“How about I make it up to you, yeah?” Make it up to you? As much as you wanted to ask questions you knew better. Especially after the argument you just had. The risk of rehashing was just too high. 
You nod your head in earnest. Whatever he has planned can’t be too bad right? He said he’s making it up to you after all.
You were too forgiving for your own good. 
Bimbo.
Anakin wasted no time wrapping his arms around your delicate body. Taking in the softness of your skin and feeling your every curve before tapping your ass, giving you the queue to jump and wrap your legs around him so he could take you to your shared bedroom. 
He could lift you like you weighed nothing, never once showing an ounce of struggle. You felt so relaxed in his strong arms. 
You allowed him to take you to your bedroom while you nuzzled your face in the crook of his neck taking in the familiar comforting scent of his cologne and soap. 
Anakin walked into your shared bedroom with you in his arms. The familiar atmosphere gives you momentary comfort for the first time that day. 
But why would he take you to your bedroom anyway?
Your question would be answered soon enough when to your surprise he wasted no time placing you on your feet gently and capturing your soft glossy lips in a heated kiss. 
His lips moved hungrily over your soft delicate ones savoring the taste of your spit. Over the short time you two had been married (and dating for that matter) there had never been a kiss with so much need behind it. His hands began to roam your body once again while he continued to devour your lips. Not wanting to stop even for a second. 
“Fuck, I needed to kiss you so bad.” He breathes heavily against your lips before he captures your lips in another heated kiss. 
Anakin kissed you so hard you swore your entire mouth would be bruised. The way he crashed his lips into yours with so much aggression hurt but you couldn’t let him know that. His big hands toyed with the hem of your mini skirt while his tongue began to lap at your lower lip. He began to get a little bored just kissing you. Where’s the fun in just kissing? He wanted a reaction from you. It’s not fun if you’re enjoying yourself a little too much. 
The feeling of his warm soft tongue was suddenly replaced by the feeling of sharp teeth that began to yank and pull at your lower lip like a rabid dog pulling at a piece of meat. 
You watched as Anakin took your lower lip between his teeth. Giving it a sudden and aggressive bite. The pain made your eyes shoot open in surprise. That’s exactly what he wanted. His sharp teeth dug into the delicate flesh of your lip. He wanted to make you bleed and cause as much pain as possible and he wasn’t going to stop until he could taste your blood in his mouth. 
He truly was fucking crazy. He made and never broke direct eye contact while his teeth sank deeper into your flesh. He wasn’t going to stop until he saw those delicious tears form and trickle down your cheeks. The tears that made him so painfully hard. 
As much as you tried to hold back the tears. You couldn’t. 
The pain was overwhelming you and Anakin knew that. The very sight of his wife crying. In pain. Bleeding. Made him so horny he couldn’t even think straight anymore.
“I’m sorry, did that hurt Sweetheart?” He asked and released your lip from the strong grip of his teeth. All you could do was shake your head no, trying your best to ignore the blood that began to seep out of the teeth-shaped impressions in your lip. He smiled admiring the red liquid and teeth marks. “You know what— I have an idea.” 
An idea?
“Yeah, an idea.” He leans in close to your ear and whispers. “How about we try for our first child, yeah? I think we’ve been married long enough. It’s time you give me my first child.”
 Does he really want to try for a child? Right now?
He licks the shell of your ear before shoving your smaller body. “Get on the bed. Now. Don’t move.” A surprised gasp leaves you when you land. Landing flat on your back. 
 “Anakin, wait!” You protest while he crawls on top of you. His larger frame towering over your own. Not giving you any room to move. 
“Wait? For what? Are you really going to refuse to give me a child after you’ve been so defiant?” His hands are on either side of your body making sure you really can’t move.
He fakes a somber gaze. “I-It’s not that just– Fine.” You don’t even try to protest. It was a losing battle either way. You’d never win. 
Well, maybe he was right. 
You two had been married for some months now and there was still no child. Maybe it was time.
“That’s right baby— That’s what I like to hear. Just sit back and let me do what I want.” He leans down peppering kisses on the sensitive skin of your neck. Small moans left your lips as he left open-mouthed kisses on his way down to your collarbone. Tugging the collar of your skimpy crop top down to expose more skin. 
“Ani, don’t leave any marks.” You whine while his mouth attaches to your collarbone. “I won’t mark you where anyone can see.” He mutters against your soft skin before giving it a rough suck. “Mmph, please Ani-” He knew you were the most sensitive on your neck and planned on using it to his advantage. 
The feeling of his warm mouth sucking on the thin skin of your neck felt heavenly. You knew when you woke up tomorrow morning there would be a big purple bruise on your neck. But that wasn’t a concern. Not right now at least. 
It felt too good. 
Before you knew it your soft skin was beginning to become adorned with splotches of red and violet as he made his way around your neck and collarbone leaving no skin untouched. 
Who cares about what you said earlier anyway?
As Anakin makes his way lower and lower he lets out a frustrated huff when he realizes he can’t reach the tender skin of your breasts. “Fuck, I need to see these tits.” 
He abruptly grabs the hem of your crop top. Ripping it in half exposing your entire chest to him. 
“No bra? Dirty girl.” 
A wave of cold air hits your sensitive nubs making you wince slightly. “Fuck, they’re so pretty. I have the prettiest wife.” His gaze was clouded with lust as he took in the sight of your bare chest. His cock strained against the tight constraint of his pants as he leaned in to take your right nipple in his mouth. Giving it a soft suckle and massaging the left. “These tits are so perfect. They’ll be filled with so much milk soon,” He moans into your chest. Imagining the sight of your tits heavy and swollen with milk.
“I’ll take care of these tits so much when you’re pregnant. I’ll drain them every day.” He continues to suck on your right nipple for some time before his grip on your left breast loosened. Eventually letting go and taking it into his mouth while massaging the right.
 His attention fluctuated between the two. Never giving one more attention than the other. He suckled your nipples with so much care. He wasn’t being rough and uncaring. It was pleasant more than anything. Like he was actually trying to extract milk from your swollen tits. 
“Your tits taste so good..” He whimpers as he trails down the valley of your breasts while his now free hands play with the waistband of your mini skirt. “I don’t want to wait any longer.” He pulls himself off of your smaller frame, not before licking his lips and admiring your exposed top half one more time. 
“W-wait are you sure?” You stammer while Anakin fiddles with his button and zipper. You watch him intently as he finally releases himself from the confines of his pants and boxers. 
“Of course I am. It’s your job as my wife to give me a child.” His cock springs free from the restraints. Hissing when the air-conditioned breeze hits his weeping cock. 
The sheer length of his cock was something you could never completely get used to no matter how many times you two were intimate. The girth was even harder to adjust to. You often wondered how he could make it fit in such a small hole. 
His cock looked almost painful the way it stood so tall. Weeping and a shade of soft pink and a darker shade towards the leaking tip. There were a few prominent veins decorating his thick shaft. The tuft of soft pubic hair was neatly trimmed making his cock look even bigger. You braced yourself for the world of hurt you’d soon be in for. 
“‘S gonna hurt,” You whine watching him stroke his cock. He moaned so deliciously when he reached the top, smearing his precum all over the bulbous tip. “It won’t hurt if you let it happen,” He groans while settling himself between your legs and hiking up your mini-skirt. “No panties, hm?” He smirks looking at your bare glistening folds. 
“You really are a slutty little bimbo aren’t you?” He laughed to himself. He grabbed the base of his thick cock sliding his tip between your aching cunt. “Ohh fuck-” He moans under his breath feeling his precum smear on your clit.
 “You’re so wet just from me bullying you.” He teases, continuing to slide his cock up and down your folds. Occasionally catching your clit. “Aniiiiii-” You cry out when he swirls lazy circles around your clit. Your arousal and his precum mixing together. 
“What is it, baby?” He mocks. “It feels good-” You moan while bucking your hips desperate for any kind of friction on your clit. “Oh, does it baby?” He asks while pressing his fat tip to your tight entrance. 
“This will feel so much better.” He bites his lip. Pushing his hips forward slowly inching into your warm cunt. “W-wait I need to adjust I- '' The feeling of being stretched made you cry out. He didn’t even give you a moment to adjust. Asshole.
The stretch made your eyes water and left a dull ache in your lower half. It would subside soon enough when you finally adjusted. You just had to put up with it for now. For him.  
But it felt like forever waiting for him to finally bottom out. He took his time shoving the rest of his thick cock inside your poor little abused cunt.  “Ah– Please Ani—!” Tears pricked your eyes when his hips finally met your soft skin. 
“God, you’re so tight I need to fuck my wife more often don’t I?” The feeling of your tight cunt squeezing his cock like a vice made him want to cum embarrassingly fast. “‘S too much!” The feeling of being filled to the brim made you choke on your sobs. Anakin stood still for a moment and savored the warmth that engulfed his entire length.
You bit your already bloodied lip as you watched him pull almost completely out. Whining at the feeling of being left empty. “It’s not too much, you’re gonna take this like a good girl. Stop being such a fucking brat.” He protests before slamming the entirety of his cock in your abused hole while a stray tear falls down your cheek.
“Are you crying? Don’t tell me you’re not used to this by now.” He snarls. He was getting annoyed watching you cry. You’re such a fucking crybaby. All you do is fucking cry.
*Hic* “I-I can’t you’re so rough,” *Hic* 
“Rough?”
He could show you rough. 
His mechanical hand suddenly slapped you right across your face. “You’re fucking pathetic,” He snaps slapping you across your face again.
Anakin admired how your beautiful face contorted in pain and discomfort. You looked so very beautiful to him at this exact moment.
His mechanical hand hurt a thousand times worse. Not that he cared anyway. He knew it’d be painful that was the point. Each slap was followed by another. He repeatedly slapped your face and showed no signs of stopping.
The pain of being slapped and filled made you want to pass out. You felt as though anything would be better than this. 
But Anakin wasn’t that cruel. He could tell your body was so close to giving out due to all of the abuse he put you through.
“Don’t give out on me now,” He says, annoyed. His thrusts sped up. Not caring that you were on the verge of ‘passing out’ on him. 
The brutal pace at which he was slamming in and out of you made your entire lower half light up with pleasure. Despite all of the shit he put you through only HE knew how to make you feel good and that was clear. 
“I won’t give out— Fuck—“ You moan when Anakin’s heavy balls slap against your skin repeatedly. The way he filled your cunt was so heavenly. The thick girth made your walls stretch to their absolute limit while his length hit the deepest parts inside you. Your eyes rolled into the back of your head when you felt his tip hit your cervix continually. “Feels so fucking good.” You whined. Your thighs were shaking while he continued nailing you. 
You flinch when you feel the cold metal of his mechanical hand cup your face. “Look at me baby,” He whispers pressing his forehead to yours looking you in your fucked out eyes while burying himself to the hilt.
Two of his cold fingers glide over your bloody lip while he maintains eye contact with you. “I love you— so fucking much.” He whimpers looking into your eyes while beads of sweat drip down his forehead. “Don’t ever forget it.” He places a kiss on your bloodied lips. “I love you too,” You moan softly. Everything felt so intimate. It felt so intense. 
With each thrust, he hit that sweet spot every single time and the way his other hand put pressure on your stomach made you see stars. 
That familiar coil was beginning to form in your stomach. You knew if he kept up with the harsh thrusts and the pressure on your belly you wouldn’t last long. He wouldn’t last that long either.
 “You’re so fucking tight and you feel so good.” He buries his face in the crook of your neck while his previously rough thrusts begin to become sloppier by the second.
“I won’t last that long,” He moans into your neck. He was a little embarrassed at just how fast he was approaching his peak.
 The hand that was previously on your stomach moved to rub sloppy circles on your clit with the pad of his thumb. “I’m gonna fucking breed this pussy,” The skin of your neck muffles his speech.
He knew he was moments away from filling you up completely. Getting you pregnant like he wanted. “I’m gonna cum baby—“ He moves from the crook of your neck and gives you a deep loving kiss while thrusting one more time. Releasing his load in your poor cunt.
 
“Oh my fucking god.”
He felt like he came buckets. You had to be pregnant. There wasn’t a doubt in his mind.
A thin layer of sweat covered the two of you while he rested on top of your body. There was a moment of silence before it was cut abruptly by Anakin. “Was I too rough?”
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maddieandangel · 2 months
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Had a weird Hollow Knight-related dream a couple days ago, so I decided to draw a major scene I remembered from it dgsgshf
More context will be in the tags, for those interested!
#hollow knight#little ghost#hk ghost#the knight#hk hornet#hornet#alright. as of writing these tags it's been a week since the original dream so! let's see what i remember dgsgsgf#i was playing a game. which was a sequel to hollow knight ((Not silksong though))#there was some new sort of divine infection in hallownest and hornet had asked ghost to investigate it. they ended the last one after all!#the red glowy spike gate thingy is what you jumped into to enter the 'infected' areas#though it actually led directly to a hub world type of place. which was kinda like an expanded base for the grimm troupe?#more like an entire lair instead of a camp. also some greek gods were there for some reason lmao. they had their own special rooms too#so sidenote but- new headcanon that there are grimm troupe members named ares athena artemis &... venus lmao. not aphrodite for some reason#also monomon was there?? i think??? except she was cooking????? she had a sidequest to deliver something to someone though i dunno hdgfhdgh#i remember going back to the grimm troupe lair a couple times throughout my 'playthrough'#anyway. the 'infection' this time around was more of a glitchy physical corruption thing? rather than a mind corruption.#though there were still aggressive enemies to fight. but i remember getting a map from cornifer early on and he was. probably infected#i think part of his body was covered in electricity or something? so he wasn't fully visible? but he was still acting normally#there was also a moth who was the seer but then later wasn't the seer (but was still the same moth) dghgdhf. i delivered stuff to her#that glowing white wall thing in the drawing was like a one-way gate. you could only cross it from the other side and ghost came from there#i guess things looped back up somehow i dunno ghdgfhgf#anyway. ghost's red eyes. those are significant! those happened while i was walking through a corridor. it had pools of shallow water#(shallow enough to just walk through) and also creatures that were lightseeds but red.the implication was that they were full of Blood lmao#and as i went along killing them--as one does--as i walked through the hall. they started turning the water red too#there was also narration about this as it was happening ashdgsf. specifically the narrator said the water turned red before it actually did#ghost's eyes slowly turned red too. but aside from that they were fine! since. they're the player character and the player is perfectly fin#BUT. when they encountered hornet again. she thought they were infected. and that she lost the only family she had left </3#she didn't attack though. instead she just jumped into the red spike gate without a word. decided to try to fix everything herself#but eventually you'd encounter her again down below and she'd fight you. didn't actually get to that in the dream though#aand i'm out of tags </3 i wanted to talk about what i'd do to make this make more sense as an au or something now that i'm awake but. :c
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tibli · 6 months
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im my own personal post-canon for hs, hal gets a body bc he wasnt yeeted into a fucking sprite, so he gets to experience the world once again like he was able to when he was dirk. but he has also diverged from dirk in a way that he is a distinct entity, and decides to keep the name hal to signify this. and he gets to do whatever the fuck he wants
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majorshatterandhare · 9 months
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I’m thinking about how the Mechs use energy, because they do things and live and therefore they *must* use energy, that’s how physics (and biology) work.
I had the idea that they are always absolutely frigid to the touch because they suck in heat from the environment like an endothermic chemical reaction.
#the mechanisms#another crack idea#it would make the most sense for them to be able to run on multiple kinds of energy#and yes i know the actual answer is that they just do. its magic basically. but thats not fun for me.#what is fun is trying to figure this shit out#and if you disagree. thats fine. disregard my musings. but like. idk what to tell you. im autistic.#of course the way i enjoy the media is different than most people#i dont think its surprisjng that the way my autistic ass likes to interact with the mechs is to disect every little bit and try to fill-#holes in ways that make sense in our understanding of the universe and their world#like you could just say that in the universe that the mechs live in physics doesnt work the same and energy isnt needed#which is fucking insane#but you could. my question would then be how the physics does work and trying to figure that out.#i just wanna stick my fingies in the holes in the story like its a crochet blanket and make flex them around#thats whats fun for me. which means that its super frustrating when i pose these questions looking for people to play in thd space with me-#and they just get shut down with answer like ‘whatever serves the narrative’ or ‘the mechs are unreliable narrators’ or ‘jonny lies’#tbc unreliable narrators can be very fun. but its not fun when it stops the possibilities or the conversation.#its not fun when ‘unreliable narrator’ is the end.#i think other people may enjoy the freedom of just doing anything that that gives them (or ‘whatever serves the narrative’ does)#but i dont because im a scientist which means i want to figure things out which means there must be a framework#if anything could happen at any time then you can’t make a cohesive story.#and i coukd argue we know thats not the case since ivy predicts stuff based on likelihood#anyway i managed to go down a rabbit hole tangent of why apes and roundworms hybridizing is the most ridiculous ‘scientific’ answer ive-#seen in scifi. so if you’re interested in that. hmu
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dingusships · 1 year
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bigass vent over general life things
things in general are really not great i don't really have any optimism for the future or making a life for myself. like i don't really have any drive or ambition to look forward or work towards anything good/meaningful because as time goes on there are going to be really bad life events that i just don't think i can keep facing anymore. and theyre going to be worse. i'm just dragging along life solely on the basis that i was plopped here to just Exist and that's my task at hand that i'm reluctantly upholding. just exist until it's over
#when i say 'i'm 25' 'i'm going to be 26' it does not feel right coming out of my mouth. i do not feel just 25 or 26 i feel far far older#mentally and physically#when i'm around other people my age i just feel on a completely different plane of experience from everyone else#idk. i've always been a naturally anxious and socially stunted person & def have some kind of lingering trauma that keeps me from connectin#w people. but also having no family members or relatives anywhere near my age (~17 yrs older than me at the least) while i was growning up#probably did something to me as well. my entire life has just been witnessing family members decline and die like dominoes over the course#of 25 years. like i know all about end of life care and legal paperwork and shit like that. i know what grief is like and#seeing how it affects people. i know the stages of dread and worry and numbness & guilt-ridden relief that comes with being terrified 24/7#for an ailing family member over the course of years. knowing what it's like to grieve people who arent dead yet but you know it's coming#and then when the inevitable happens it's horrible. but also you're so exhausted from the strain that you're mostly numb. and then you feel#a sense of relief that the worst is over they're not suffering anymore you don't have to dread it anymore. which obviously makes you#question if you're some kind of deranged asshole for feeling that way. idk#25 for me has been a very eye-opening age where i'm fully realizing how fast time passes. i thought i was at around 18-20 but i was really#just first becoming aware of it.#i know how to view the world from that lens bc that's all i know. i only see life as a preparation for the end#instead of a beginning. or at least see it as a beginning at this current point in my life#covid/lockdown has definitely been a source of mental drain on me as well. the constant fear and paranoia of getting sick AND what sort of#long term consequences i could have due to getting it twice. and what i could have if i get it more than twice#add that with the general social and political climate right now and it's just...so very bleak. home life is bleak & outside world is bleak#vent
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augustinewrites · 24 days
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yesterday afternoon - after an unsuccessful coffee shop date - you’d decided that dating sucked. it was much too awkward and formal and not at all like it was in the movies, putting too much pressure on the people involved.
last night - after watching shoko flirt her way into free drinks - you’d been tipsy enough to take her advice. 
casual sex! it doesn't have to be with a stranger, just pick someone you know. someone you’re sure you won't fall in love with.
this morning you’d woken up to find gojo laying in bed next to you.
you lay shoulder to shoulder with the one person you should not have picked, staring up at the ceiling, waiting for the other person to speak. 
“did we really–” 
“three times,” satoru confirms happily, rolling onto his side to grin down at you. “i'm surprised we didn't do this sooner, really. our sexual tension has always been off the charts.”
when he leans in to kiss you, his lips meet your palm as your expression wrinkles. “don’t get familiar.”
“we’re naked together in bed– we slept together in more than the literal sense. can’t get more familiar than that.” 
“and this never happen again,” you promise, refusing to look at him. 
“why? because you’re afraid you’ll fall in love with me? it’s okay to admit it. i'm extremely lovable.” 
you’ve seen the way girls fawn over him. how they swoon over his pretty eyes and confident smile. he’s satoru gojo. a legend amongst jujutsu society. you’re no one in comparison, not a user of an otherworldly cursed technique, not from a major clan. 
people like him don’t fall for people like you. you’re afraid of rejection, afraid of being hurt. 
“we’re friends,” you tell him honestly. “i don’t want to risk ruining our friendship over something like this.” 
he tilts his head as your look at him. “shoko told you to try casual sex, didn't she? why not with me?”
“she told you?” you groan, dragging a hand down your face and making a mental note to never ask your roommate for advice for anything ever again. 
“hey, look at me,” he urges, grasping your hand. you do as he says, meeting his earnest gaze. “i can be casual and chill, it’s not like i have a huge crush on you or anything.” 
it’s so hard to say no to him. you really wish you could.  
“i’ll think about it,” you tell him, rolling your eyes when he fist pumps. “but you need to go home before shoko sees you.” 
but you’re dealing with satoru gojo, who almost never does what he’s told. “you’re not getting rid of me that easily. come here.”
he winds an arm around you, pulli my you in so you’re snug against his chest. explicit memories of last night flash through your mind, sending heat through your veins.
 “i can’t.” you tell him (though you’re mostly reminding yourself.) this is insane— satoru, what are you—”
you’re cut off when he shushes you, whispering let’s sleep in for a little while longer. 
he starts to drift off again as you struggle to escape his grasp, but your efforts are futile. even on the throes of sleep, satoru is stronger than you. 
so you give up, resigning yourself to a few more minutes of…cuddling. shoko isn’t a morning person anyways.
after a minute, you find it's not entirely awful. it’s a purely physical reaction. gojo is good looking, even with his hair mussed with sleep and his mouth hanging open. because you know that under the softness of his skin lays defined muscle, and spending the morning in his nicely toned arms isn’t the worst thing in the world. 
(it’s purely physical, is what your head tries to convince your heart, which is beating a little faster than usual.)
a very soft, content sigh slips past your lips. 
then, shoko knocks on your door. 
“hey! don’t tell me you’re too hungover for grocery shopping.” 
“shit!” you whisper harshly, shoving him away from you. “she cannot see you in here.” 
“afraid you’ll have to share?” he teases, narrowly avoiding being hit with a pillow. “okay, okay! where do you want me?”
“closet!” you instruct, scrambling my around the room to make sure none of his clothes are lying around. you thrust them into his hands, pushing him into your closet. 
he catches the door before you can close it, smiling down at you. “aren’t you glad we’re doing this?”
you shove him inside, slamming the door shut just ask shoko bursts into the room.
“hey,” you greet, trying your best to appear casual as you lean against the door. your heart beats in your throat, as she squints at you, then lets her gaze sweep across the room.
“did you bring someone home last night?”
“no.”
she looks at you. really looks at you, you think. 
“okay,” she finally says, though you can’t tell if she believes you. “i just– i thought i saw you leave with gojo. suguru said you two were flirting all night.”
“gojo and i?” you try to laugh, but it comes out a little strained. “never in a million years.”
shoko only shrugs, and you let yourself relax when she turns to leave…
…only for her to turn around once more, leaning the the doorframe. “well if you really don't like him, just let him down easy, alright? suguru told me he has a huge crush on you.” 
wait–
“gojo?”
you hear a sharp inhale through the door. 
“yeah,” she nods. “you really couldn't tell?”
gojo…has a crush on you. it takes a few seconds to truly sink in. “i had no idea.” 
“of course you didn't. he’s definitely got a really weird way of showing it.”
she turns to leave for real this time, but you wait a couple extra seconds before opening your closet, finding a wide eyed, blushing satoru staring at you. 
you can't help but laugh. at his expression, at shoko’s revelation, at this entire situation.
dating sucks, but maybe it won’t be that bad if it’s with him.
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chuluoyi · 7 months
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✎ sweet felicity
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- gojo satoru x reader
what do you get the man who already has everything for his birthday?
genre: teeth-rotting fluff and comfort because no—i can't make his birthday angsty ok
note: so this is my entry for the birthday boy <3 this takes place immediately after daddy-to-be, where the first years are still yuta, maki, panda and toge
a part of gojo's love entries
general masterlist
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Honestly? Satoru wondered about it a lot these days.
He already has everything he wanted—unparalleled cursed technique, a fairly happy life, a pretty wife, and just recently, a kid on the way.
But his birthday was in a week and it was as clear as a day that you were planning something for him.
“Come on, you can't fool me, sweets.”
He noticed that you had started waking up earlier than usual. Initially, he thought it was due to your morning sickness, but it turned out you were sneaking away to another room for an hour or two and only came out when it was around breakfast time.
Did you really think he wouldn't catch on? Satoru found himself torn between concern and amusement. He didn't want you to strain yourself—especially after your recent fainting spells—and yet a part of him was over the moon by the fact that you did it for him.
His eyes crinkled, twinkling with affection. “You're planning something for my birthday in the mornings lately. That's sweet, but you don't have to, really.”
You quirked an eyebrow at him. "Why are you so sure that it's for your birthday? I never said anything."
"Well, what else could it be? Unless you're cheating on me at six in the morning—"
"I have your spawn inside me, Gojo Satoru—"
"Don't call it ‘spawn’!" Satoru interjected with a theatrical gasp. "It's our very own little munchkin! Our love! Love!"
This was so ridiculous and you couldn't help yourself from giggling. And seeing you like that softened something inside him.
"Really, don't push yourself too hard," he said with a pout, resigned. "You need lots and lots of sleep."
"I'm not a baby, Satoru."
"Half of you is, so it makes you one!"
He was dramatic, but it was his own way to care because your husband was just wired that way.
You sighed, relenting. “Okay, okay… I know my limits. I will stop when I don't feel well, yeah? Besides, I won't have time to do it except in the mornings because I still have classes to teach.” It seemed like he wasn’t satisfied with your answer so you added, “Just so you know, it's something I enjoy too.”
"Hmph," Satoru huffed, eyeing you petulantly. "It'd better be good, or I'll spank you."
If it were physically possible for your eyes to roll a full 360 degrees into the back of your head and back, they definitely would have. "Oh, you will adore it, I promise."
Well, it wasn't a part of the plan, but now that he had asked for it, you'd definitely add a twist in his gift...
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Satoru connected the dots instantly when he saw yarn and needles—what else were you doing aside from knitting?
His sweet wife, who woke up early just to make a handmade gift for his birthday—ahh, his heart could've burst. It was so cute and so you, the warmhearted being that you were.
He would go back early today, he decided, as he strolled the halls of the Jujutsu High with a cheerful tune. You were certainly waiting back at home and he would shower you with love and praise just for your efforts alone these past few days.
And so, he would have never expected that when he received a call from Nanami that afternoon, his world would utterly shatter in the most terrifying way.
“Gojo-san, please, you must come back.” Nanami was always steadfast even in the direst situations. And yet, now he was breathing hard, and panicking. “Something happened. You must go back to your residence—”
In that moment all he could think of was you and his baby. His entire world. Were you hurt?
He didn’t dwell on it—or rather, he couldn’t. His fingers went to rip his blindfold off as a sense of exponential dread creeped in and threatened to engulf him whole—a very, very strange, unfamiliar feeling to him—and he teleported back to his haven in a blink of an eye.
He had been ready to unleash hell, to see you lying on your own pool of blood, or anything. No, that was something he could never be ready for, but he would somehow make it right—
“Ooh, there he is!”
“Already?!”
“Nevermind—”
—and suddenly, he was swept into a whirlwind of confusion and commotion.
“HAPPY BIRTHDAY, GOJO-SENSEI!”
Today is December 7.
It took a while for Satoru to discern everything, with his pulsating heartbeats and the rush of emotions that overwhelmed him. His eyes darted from each and every face who were suddenly in his house, searching for yours—
“Satoru!” you greeted him from behind Nanami, radiantly beaming, and only then could he finally breathe. You are safe—you’re well—
You had meant for it as a joke, a little payback for all the grievances he had caused you—and let’s not forget, Nanami—but you immediately regretted it when you had a look over the absolute terror in his heavenly blue eyes that you loved so much.
You had seen this once, before, when he proposed to you.
“Satoru.” You waltzed towards him, gently cradling his stunned face in your hands. “Hey,” you coaxed him with an apologetic smile, reassuring him of your presence.
Satoru looked at you squarely in the eyes, and as he fully took in the sight of you, he let out a shuddering breath and pulled you close with a firm arm around your waist and and the other around your back.
“You evil woman,” he murmured in your ears, and you could feel the slight tremble of his body and the way his heart was still thumping wildly inside his sturdy chest, which made you feel even more sorry.
“Whoa, that got you good, huh?” Panda remarked with a bemused grin.
“As expected,” Megumi snorted.
“Salmon! Salmon!”
“Ehh, that’s actually sweet…” Maki noted thoughtfully. “I would have never expected him to drop everything that fast just to go back here only after a suspicious phone call—”
“Of course he would!” Yuta rebuked with pride. “It’s his wife after all! And Nanami-san truly did a really convincing job at it!”
Nanami. Satoru casted a stern glare toward his junior, while the man in question awkwardly coughed. How did you even involve him in this?
Nah, he would deal with him later.
Despite the scare that got him good, your little plan commenced as it should. The closest of his friends and students were there to throw him this silly birthday party, as well as shower him with a plethora of gifts.
You had managed to round up his students to write birthday wishes for him in a scrap book filled with various photographs throughout the past year. This is sweet, he thought.
And one note tugged at his heartstrings the most:
Thank you, sensei, for everything — Yuta.
If anything he did ever made an impact on those young sorcerers, then Satoru was wholeheartedly glad. He wanted them to grow and made their own path in this unforgiving world, and their gratitude stirred a profound sense of relief within him.
“Here.” He was genuinely surprised when Megumi abruptly pushed a long, thin box toward him next, shyly averting his gaze. “Happy birthday.”
A fountain pen. It must have costed him some. It was strange, but Satoru felt oddly emotional.
The kid was barely six when he first approached him. He was prickly and sour and definitely wasn't welcoming. And then, he had matured right before his eyes. Satoru couldn’t help ruffling his hair vigorously and snickered, disregarding the scowl directed his way.
Nanami extended his well-wishes, and even though he still had a score to settle with him later, he was happy to have him here. Shoko couldn’t come but she left you with a recorded message.
“Happy birthday, Gojo, idiot,” Shoko was grinning in the video you played. “I'm sorry I can't be there, but my wish is for you to tone down your antics. We could all use a bit less of that.”
The two remaining reminders of the bluest spring in his life. Something pricked his heart at the stark reminder that they were not whole—and if only that someone was here, they would—but the fact that these two thought of him was enough.
And now, at last, it was time for your gift. Satoru thought he knew what it was, but as he carefully opened the ivory box, a profound sense of warmth still washed over him.
Mittens, with the color of freshly fallen snow, lay in the box—two pairs in total. One was remarkably tiny, seemingly tailored for a baby, while the other was notably larger, undoubtedly meant for him.
You. Him. The baby. By this time next year, there would be three of you. The happy picture of all of you together in near future was a gift in and of itself. You two are his everything.
Satoru went by his instincts and grasped your arm, crashing his lips against yours ardently, beaming with the broadest grin. He paid no heed to the squeals and disapproving glances from everyone around, as he felt entitled to do so—declaring his love boldly so you would know… that he was utterly, hopelessly in love with you.
That he was grateful for you in this otherwise dreary life.
And that if there were any other lives he might live after this ended... then he hoped the heavens would always bring you back to him—and for you to always choose him just like this, no matter what.
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Epilogue
“So you really did call Nanami at six in the morning.”
Later that night, just before bed, your husband was still holding a grudge on you for frightening him back in the day, evident by the permanent purse of his lips.
You shrugged, buttoning the last button of your sleepwear. “I did… but it’s for greater purpose, so… yeah.”
“I can’t stand this. I’m suing you for collateral damage.”
You almost laughed. “Pffft—what? What damage—”
“My fragile heart! You can’t do that to me and expect I won’t charge you!”
“Well…” You noted with a meaningful smile. You couldn’t say you didn’t expect this, because Satoru always got pouty whenever he was irked in one way or another, and so in advance, you had actually been prepared for this.
You caught him off guard when you suddenly sat on his lap and wrapped your arms around his neck, your fingers teasing his undercut. It was a nice change of pace, seeing the faint blush coloring his cheeks as he steadied you by your waist.
“…what if I say… I still have one present left for you?”
So, what did you get a man who already has everything for his birthday?
Your whole heart, of course.
And if you were in the mood for an additional surprise, a brand new pair of lacy lingerie you had under your pajamas might do the trick.
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headspace-hotel · 2 years
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My random unsubstantiated hypothesis of the day: the popularity of "stim" videos, fidget toys, and other things like that is a warning sign that something's Deeply Wrong with our world.
Don't freak out. I am autistic. These things are not bad. However, can we just...take a second to notice how weird it is that there are entire social media accounts full of 10-second videos of things making crunching noises, people squishing slime in their hands, and objects clacking together, and that enjoying them is mainstream and normal?
It seems that nowadays, almost everyone exhibits sensory-seeking behavior, when just a decade ago, the idea of anyone having "sensory needs" was mostly obscure. It is a mainstream Thing to "crave" certain textures or repetitive sounds.
What's even weirder, is that it's not just that "stim" content is mainstream; the way everything on the internet is filmed seems to look more like "stim" content. TikToks frequently have a sensory-detail-oriented style that is highly unusual in older online content, honing in on the tactile, visual and auditory characteristics of whatever it's showing, whether that's an eye shadow palette or a cabin in a forest.
When an "influencer" markets their makeup brand, they film videos that almost...highlight that it's a physical substance that can be smudged and smeared around. Online models don't just wear clothes they're advertising, they run their hands over them and make the fabric swish and ripple.
I think this can be seen as a symptom of something wrong with the physical world we live in. I think that almost everyone is chronically understimulated.
Spending time alone in the forest has convinced me of this. The sensory world of a forest is not only much richer than any indoor environment, it is abundant with the sorts of sensations that people seem to "crave" chronically, and the more I've noticed and specifically focused on this, the more I've noticed that the "modern" human's surroundings are incredibly flat in what they offer to the senses.
First of all, forests are constantly permeated with a very soft wash of background noise that is now often absent in the indoor world. The sound of wind through trees has a physiological effect you can FEEL. It's always been a Thing that people are relaxed by white noise, which leads to us being put at ease by the ambient hum of air conditioning units, refrigerators and fans. But now, technology has become much more silent, and it's not at all out of place to hypothesize that environments without "ambient" white noise are detrimental to us.
Furthermore, a forest's ambience is full of rhythmic and melodic elements, whereas "indoor" sounds are often harsh, flat and irregular.
Secondly: the crunch. This is actually one of the most notably missing aspects of the indoor sensory world. Humans, when given access to crunchable things, will crunch them. And in a forest, crunchy things are everywhere. Bark, twigs and dry leaves have crisp and brittle qualities that only a few man-made objects have, and they are different with every type of plant and tree.
Most humans aren't in a lot of contact with things that are "destroyable" either, things you can toy with and tear to little bits in your hands. I think virtually everyone has restlessly torn up a scrap of paper or split a blade of grass with their thumbnail; it's a cliche. And since fidget toys in classrooms are becoming a subject of debate, I think it pays to remember that the vast majority of your ancestors learned everything they knew with a thousand "fidget toys" within arm's reach.
And there is of course mud, and clay, and dirt, and wet sand. I'm 100% serious, squishing mud and clay is vital to the human brain. Why do you think Play-Doh is such a staple elementary school toy. Why do you think mud is the universal cliche thing kids play in for fun. It's such a common "stim" category for a reason.
I could go on and on. It's insane how unstimulating most environments humans spend time in are. And this definitely contributes to ecological illiteracy, because people aren't prepared to comprehend how detailed the natural world is. There are dozens of species of fireflies in the United States, and thousands of species of moths. If you don't put herbicides on your lawn, there are likely at least 20 species of plant in a single square meter of it. I've counted at least 15 species of grass alone in my yard.
Would it be overreach to suggest that some vital perceptive abilities are just not fully developing in today's human? Like. I had to TEACH myself to be able, literally able, to perceive details of living things that were below a certain size, even though my eyes could detect those details, because I just wasn't accustomed to paying attention to things that small. I think something...happens when almost all the objects you interact with daily are human-made.
The people that think ADHD is caused by kids' brains being exposed to "too much stuff" by Electronic Devices...do not go outside, because spending a few minutes in a natural environment has more stimuli in it than a few hours of That Damn Phone.
A patch of tree bark the size of my phone's screen has more going on than my phone can display. When you start photographing lots of living organisms, you run into the strange and brain-shifting reality that your electronic device literally cannot create and store images big enough to show everything you, in real life, may notice about that organism.
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cheeseceli · 25 days
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With a sleepy s/o
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Pairing: skz Ot8 × Gn!reader (individually)
Genre: headcanon, fluff, established relationship
Request: skz with a very sleepy s/o, kinda like han but worse lol.
Warnings: none
A/n: pink lee know can save lives | important highlight
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Bang Chan
No one likes it more than him, trust me. He just loves it so much whenever you start to feel a bit drowsy and then sleep in his shoulder/lap. Partially because he thinks you're adorable when sleeping but partially because he feels he can protect you when you're vulnerable like that. He really really likes it
Lee Know
Please stop falling asleep all the time, his camera roll can't take it anymore. Seriously though, every time you sleep he takes thousands of pictures in all possible angles. He says it's because he wants to blackmail you but in reality he just finds you extremely adorable (won't admit that tho)
Changbin
He has like this sixth sense where he just knows you're about to fall asleep, no matter where he is. He physically needs to be like your pillow for whenever you're in this state. Always has a proud smile for when he manages to be there when you need him. Asks for the boys to take pictures of you both like that (they can't handle it anymore)
Hyunjin
The first time you fell asleep next to him he was a bit in shock, but now that he is used to it, he welcomes you with open arms whenever your eyes start to close. He is really satisfied with how you trust him enough to sleep around him, it never fails on making him smile
Han
We just know y'all sleeping together everywhere no matter what time it is. The world could be potentially ending but y'all would be cuddled up and sleeping on the nearest sofa. Honestly it's expected for you both to end up like this after a while, but it's also very cute of you ngl
Felix
Another one who sees this as an opportunity to cuddle everywhere, even if he doesn't feel sleepy in the slightest. He just really enjoys holding you while you dream. The boys took a picture of you both like that once to try to tease Felix but it didn't work at all, as he was extremely happy about it lmao
Seungmin
Also has a lot of pictures of you sleeping but you'll never know that because no way on earth he is showing you that, he might as well die of embarrassment. You also always wake up covered by his jacket/sweatshirt, warm and cozy.
I.N
Most likely to have you sleeping as his phone wallpaper and the least likely to change it. He's so relieved you can't see him when you're sleeping because he always gets this huge lovesick smile on him, he'd probably combust if you could see that.
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Masterlist | you'll probably like: you give them flowers
Thank you for reading 🩷
Taglist (open!): @yuyubeans @dandelions-143
Credits for images 1 , 2 and 3
Dividers by @saradika-graphics
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violetduchess · 1 year
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Hot things they do:
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Summary: Hot things the Hashira do.
CW: Suggestive content
Note: The people have spoken and I have delivered.
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Rengoku
Rengoku has a habit of running his hands through his hair, a gesture that's become almost second nature to him. It's not a nervous habit, but rather a confident and unconscious display of his self-assured nature.
Every time Rengoku runs his hands through his hair, a few strands inevitably fall in front of his face. The way those strands frame his handsome features adds an irresistible charm, making him even more attractive.
After an intense training session, Rengoku's body is drenched in sweat, highlighting the contours of his toned muscles. It's a sight that leaves you mesmerized and longing for his touch.
Those strong arms of his, glistening with sweat, hold an undeniable allure. They exude a sense of power and strength that could easily overpower you, and the mere thought of it sends shivers down your spine.
In your wildest fantasies, you can't help but imagine being at Rengoku's mercy, his arms wrapped around you tightly. The thought of him using his strength to pleasure and dominate you is both thrilling and irresistible.
Rengoku's physical prowess combined with his gentle and caring nature creates an intoxicating blend. The contrast between his powerful presence and his tenderness is what makes him utterly captivating and irresistible.
You find yourself yearning for those moments after training, when Rengoku's muscles are still slightly taut from exertion. The sight of his sculpted physique fuels your desires, and you can't help but crave the touch of his strong, capable hands.
Sanemi
Sanemi's habit of using simple phrases like "hm?" or "mhm" may seem minimal, but there's something about the way he says them that sends your heart racing. The rawness and directness in his voice have a captivating effect, drawing you in and making every word he utters incredibly significant.
When Sanemi wants your undivided attention, he lifts your chin with the top of his pointer finger, gently guiding your gaze to meet his. The intimate contact ignites a surge of electricity within you, making it nearly impossible to focus on anything else. Face-to-face with Sanemi, it's as if the entire world fades away, leaving only the two of you in an intense connection.
Whenever Sanemi is near, it feels as though you're floating in orbit, completely enthralled by his presence. His commanding aura and magnetic personality are captivating, making it hard to tear your eyes away from him. Every interaction becomes a mesmerizing experience, leaving you spellbound.
While Sanemi may not be one to share grand gestures or elaborate speeches, his silence holds great significance. In those moments when he chooses not to speak, his focused gaze and unwavering attention communicate volumes. The intensity in his eyes conveys more than words ever could, leaving you breathless and eager for his next move.
Sanemi's presence has an undeniable magnetic pull, drawing you closer and leaving you captivated. Whether it's the sound of his voice or the touch of his finger against your skin, the effect he has on you is undeniable. In his company, the world around you fades into insignificance, and all that matters is the connection you share.
Giyuu
In the early morning hours, as the sun gently kisses the horizon, Giyuu's voice awakens. It carries a certain allure, a perfect balance of raspy tones and a hint of sleepiness. It's the kind of voice that makes you want to listen to him speak endlessly, losing yourself in the melodic cadence of his words.
During his training sessions at home, there are moments when Giyuu dons clothing that is just slightly too short, revealing glimpses of his well-defined abs as he stretches his body. It's a sight that sends a pleasant shiver down your spine, an enticing display of his physical strength and dedication.
Every now and then, when his gaze catches yours, Giyuu playfully remarks that "staring isn't polite," his deadpan manner adding an unexpected charm to the situation. It's his way of acknowledging your attention while maintaining his composed demeanor, a playful interaction that leaves a lingering sense of warmth and teasing in the air.
Gyomei
Gyomei's protective nature always has you by his side, seeking comfort in your presence. He instinctively pulls you close, finding solace in your proximity, especially in crowded places.
You feel a gentle pressure against your lower back as Gyomei's hand rests there, creating a comforting connection that sends pleasant shivers down your spine. It's a subtle gesture that makes you acutely aware of the effect he unknowingly has on you.
In public, Gyomei's preference for keeping you close is evident. He wraps his arm around your waist, creating a shield of security and making you feel cherished. The physical contact sends warmth flooding through your veins.
The sensation of Gyomei's hand on your lower back becomes a source of both comfort and excitement. It's a touch that reassures him and stirs something deep within you, a silent acknowledgment of the unspoken connection between you.
Gyomei's protective grip on your waist in public spaces becomes a silent declaration of his trust and reliance on your presence. His touch radiates a calming energy, reminding you of the unspoken bond that exists between you.
Mitsuri
Mitsuri's excitement is contagious. Whenever she gets enthusiastic about something, her eyes sparkle like a starry summer night, and her vibrant voice carries her joy for miles.
There's an undeniable charm in Mitsuri's little habit of bouncing up and down when she's excited something else bounces too. It's like her energy can't be contained, and it adds an adorable touch to her already endearing personality.
Animals are drawn to Mitsuri's gentle nature and warm energy. They have a natural affinity for her, and it's not uncommon to see furry creatures flocking to her side. She welcomes their presence with open arms and finds comfort in their company.
Uzui
Uzui, in moments of vulnerability, finds comfort in resting his head in his partner's lap. It's an intimate gesture that creates a sense of closeness and trust between them.
When Uzui slowly opens his eyes, his gaze carries a magnetic quality. It's as if the world falls into place around him, and his partner can't help but be captivated by the depth and intensity within his gaze.
There's something undeniably alluring about the way Uzui lowers his head, whether in deep thought or as a display of his relaxed demeanor. His partner finds themselves drawn to his subtle movements, which exude confidence and a touch of mystery.
Uzui's undeniable self-assurance is a magnetic quality that draws others to him. He knows he's attractive, and his partner can't help but be intrigued by his confident presence.
Uzui's effortless charm and attractiveness seem to emanate from within. It's as if he effortlessly carries an aura of refinement and sensuality, leaving his partner unable to resist his magnetic appeal.
Shinobu
Shinobu has a penchant for oversized sweaters, particularly during the colder months. Despite the slightly loose fit, she still manages to look incredibly stylish, especially with the cozy sweaters emphasizing her delicate frame.
However, due to their oversized nature, the sleeves of the sweaters tend to be a bit too long for Shinobu. As a result, she often finds herself with sweaterpaws, her delicate hands peeking out from the oversized sleeves. along with the top of her breast,
While Shinobu doesn't actively sing on her own accord, she possesses a beautiful singing voice. Most of the time, she unconsciously hums tunes to herself when she's lost in her thoughts or at ease. The melodic hums serve as a testament to her tranquil nature.
Obanai
Whenever a single strand of hair dares to stray onto his partner's face, Obanai can't help but brush it away with the lightest touch. He does it with such nonchalance that it often catches them off guard, leaving them flustered and secretly thrilled by his subtle display of affection.
Obanai finds great delight in teasing his partner by brushing away those tiny stray hairs. He'll do it playfully, pretending to be completely absorbed in the act while slyly observing their adorable reaction. It becomes their little game, with both of them cherishing these tender moments.
Muichiro
Muichiro has a habit of fixing his gaze on you, his eyes filled with adoration, and he can't seem to take them away from your presence.
Whenever you catch him staring, a soft smile tugs at the corners of his lips, and his dimples make a subtle appearance, adding to his charming demeanor.
You can't help but feel a blush creep up your cheeks as you ask him what he's looking at, only to receive a gentle shake of his head accompanied by a quiet smile, leaving you wondering about the thoughts behind his adoring gaze.
Muichiro's unwavering attention and admiration for you make you feel incredibly special and cherished, as if you're the center of his world.
His silent adoration speaks volumes, expressing a depth of emotion that transcends words, creating a connection between you that is both sweet and intimate.
Despite his quiet nature, Muichiro's eyes communicate his feelings with such clarity and sincerity, leaving you with a warm and fuzzy feeling in your heart.
It's a delightful and slightly embarrassing secret between the two of you, as you both understand the unspoken language of his adoring gaze and the love it conveys.
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All rights reserved @violetduchess. All works of fanfiction belong to me, please do not copy, translate or repost any works without my express permission. Thank you.~☆
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egcdeath · 2 months
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life's a beach
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pairing: patrick zweig x reader request: @diorrfairy: i can't stop thinking about patrick x reader who's an introvert, kinda shy but with a fiery temper just like him. and she knows it's better not to get involved with guys like him but she can't help it. and he's constantly teasing her trying to get on her nerves like … summary: a chain smoking tennis player disrupts your day on the beach and uproots your entire summer vacation. word count: 6.5k warnings: enemies to lovers (kinda… the reader folds like a paper airplane pretty quickly), smoking, no use of y/n, low speed police (pool security guard) chase, mentions of smoking, brief mention of alcohol, so much exposition, vague descriptions of sports, some kissing, patrick and reader are spoiled rich kids author’s note: this fic definitely got away from me, but i hope that you all enjoy it! also, i apologize in advance for any characterization issues, since i’ve only seen the movie once. with that being said, i’m still taking requests if you want to send me anything!
For all your life, the beach has been your happy place. The soothing, repetitive push and pull of the water and the endless crashing of the tide was a guaranteed way to make your loud mind quiet down. Next to the endless ocean, you were just a tiny little dot–not a girl who was a golf prodigy, or someone whose parents' financial power caused everyone around you to treat you like a delicate doll. In fact, that was part of the reason why your parents purchased the lot in the first place, as you insisted that the comfort of a semi-private beach was necessary for you to properly enjoy your vacation.
That was also what made your smoking companion on the beach all the more jarring.
You were fully reclined on a beach chair and deeply immersed in the novel in your hands when you first caught a whiff of the strong, putrid scent, which immediately left you annoyed. Turning your head to follow the scent, your face somehow fell further when it fell upon the culprit of the foul cigarette smell. The side profile of a man who was about your age, casually smoking as he stared out at the body of water across from you.
Perhaps you had become so immersed in your book that you’d failed to realize that only a few steps away from you, someone new had joined you on the sand. After all, when you sat down just an hour ago, you were completely alone. Somehow, that managed to make your mood sour even more. There was all this space on the beach, yet this man decided to sit down right next to you and smoke a cigarette!
You were sure that you were gawking at him at this point, if at nothing else, his sheer audacity. When he finally seemed to sense your seething gaze, you quickly looked back at your book as if it was the most interesting thing in the world—despite you completely losing your spot.
After a moment of pretending to resume your reading, the stale scent of the cigarette had lessened, indicating to you that the man next to you had finally stopped. Good. Maybe your simple glare had been more effective than you realized.
But nearly as soon as a self-satisfied smirk could find itself on your face, the scent returned in full force. You practically had to physically restrain yourself from uttering, “Seriously?” aloud.
Seeing as your first passive aggressive attempt at getting him to stop was futile, you decided to pull out the big guns.
With your all but abandoned novel in hand, you curled your unoccupied arm around your mouth and began to cough profusely. You put all your might into pulling out the most atrocious sounds you could muster from your lungs, and when you decided you were satisfied with this passive aggressive approach, you glanced over at your beach companion, only to find him looking back at you.
With him looking straight at you, you felt your stomach trip over itself. You’d always been a sucker for pretty men, and with one pointed look, you were sure that this would be no different. Yet, armed with the knowledge that you were the one who started this, you willed yourself not to give in to someone with good looks and cigarette breath.
You continued to stare him down, hoping that you were coming off as intimidating, rather than swooning. Though, the longer the two of you glared at each other, you swore you could see his lips mold into the look of a smirk, particularly as he took a pointedly long drag from his cigarette.
It quickly became abundantly clear to you that he wasn’t interpreting your gaze to be anything near threatening—if anything, he saw it as a challenge. Unluckily for him, you were incapable of backing down to a challenge.
As soon as you opened your mouth to form some sort of sassy remark, you were surprisingly beaten to the punch.
“Want one?” he asked, the smirk unwavering on his stupidly attractive face.
“Ew,” you replied, then immediately regretted it. Seriously? Ew? That was the best that you could do? You would think that years of dodging and delivering verbal daggers over family dinner would’ve better prepared you for this moment, but leave it to you to be tripped up by a pretty face.
You paused for a beat too long before retorting, “You can keep your lung disease, thank you very much.” You readjusted the book in your lap, still not feeling completely satisfied with your reply, but anything was better than your first statement. “Maybe go smoke somewhere that’s not right next to me, like,” you paused to gesture to the widely empty beach. “Literally anywhere else.”
“I didn’t realize that you were queen of this strip of beach. My apologies, Your Highness,” he shot back snarkily. You swore you could feel your blood boiling as it pumped through your veins.
“I’m not saying you can’t stay here,” you could feel your volume increasing as more adrenaline pumped through you, “I’m just asking that you don’t smoke.”
You watched as his brows raised questioningly the longer you spoke. “Or at least, don’t smoke next to me,” you clarified, folding under the pressure of a set of rather piercing blue eyes.
“Fine,” he agreed with a shrug, to your surprise. That hadn’t been so hard after all. Maybe he wasn’t all that bad. You bit back the part of you that wanted to feel triumphant at your clear victory over this random, pain-in-the-ass man.
Once more, you pretended to read your book while in your peripheral vision you watched him grab his few items, including his box of cigarettes, and stand up to move. What you weren’t expecting to see was him plant himself just a few feet further from you, sit down, then begin to aggressively tap his box of cigarettes, just loud enough to grab your attention. Naively believing that he wouldn’t actually have the audacity to begin smoking again, you were slightly scandalized when he pulled a stick out and returned to happily chain smoking.
He briefly glanced back over at you, the smug look on his face telling you that he was eagerly awaiting your reaction. As much as you didn’t want to humor him, you clearly couldn’t hide your annoyance.
“Oh my god,” you huffed, grabbing your tote bag and towel and standing up to head back towards your beach house. Maybe the beach just wasn’t in the cards for today. At least that man couldn’t bother you in your sunroom.
——————
One of the benefits of owning and spending your summer at your vacation home was being able to have your friends stop by and spend a few days with you. Seeing as your parents were utterly uninterested in spending any of your summer break together, it was also nice that you were basically able to do whatever you wanted over the summer.
As a teenager, this mainly meant parties and intense summer flings, but as your time in college began to mature you and your friends, the novelty of doing something you weren’t supposed to be doing began to wear off. What never seemed to wear off was your love for the local ice cream shop, with its sweet dairy scent lingering in the air and a waffle cone that was nothing short of to die for.
With one of your friends’ visits coming to an end, the two of you sat on the patio of this shop, racing against time and heat as you worked on your cones. In between gossip about which one of your classmates had to attend graduation with a baby bump, you caught your eye on someone exiting the shop to join you on the patio.
You practically had to hold back your groan as you processed who it was. Unfortunately, your enemy from the beach hadn’t felt nearly enough shame, and he openly waved at you.
Upon seeing your eyes wander, your friend turned around to see what it was that caught your eye. Just as quickly as she turned around to view the asshole, she turned right back to you with a newfound excitement.
“Oh my god, you know him?” your friend asked you, shock and elation written all over her face for a reason you couldn’t understand.
“Unfortunately,” you replied, taking a bite of a bit of exposed cone. “Do you know him? Did he go to your high school or something?”
She scoffed at your words as if you were missing the most obvious point in the world. “‘Did he go to my high school or something?’” she repeated in disbelief. “That’s Patrick Zweig. He’s about to go pro.”
You tilted your head and furrowed your brows, as if to ask for more context.
“In tennis? He’s like, the thing right now,” she explained.
“Maybe that’s why he’s such an asshole,” you glanced back over at him, only to find that he was unabashedly staring at you as he licked his own cone of ice cream. If you hadn’t had such a ridiculous encounter a week ago, you would’ve thought that he was being suggestive towards you.
“What happened that made him such an asshole?” she prodded, and you swore that she leaned forward as she asked.
“Please try to look a little less excited,” you laughed, entertained by your friend’s investment in your story about someone who was a celebrity in her eyes.
“Sorry,” she apologized disingenuously. “Go ahead.”
“Well, I was just trying to do some reading out on the beach, when he sat like, two feet away from me. Mind you, the entire beach was empty. He could’ve gone anywhere else.”
“Dick,” she interjected, though the unsubtle glance over in Patrick’s direction and her overzealous body language suggested to you that she might’ve meant the words less than she thought she did.
“Right,” you agreed. “But that clearly wasn’t enough. So he starts chain smoking. Right next to me.”
“Rude,” she added, doing her best to validate you as you told the story. Her ability to only add commentary in a monosyllabic manner was entertaining you, but you couldn’t focus too much on that now.
“So I called him out. I was like, ‘Hey, you dick. I know that you want black lung, but not everyone else does,’” you explained, embellishing your story to disguise your lackluster responses.
She giggled as you explained and you continued on. “Obviously, he was embarrassed that I called him out. So he looks me right in the eyes, and-“
“And what?” she asked, her eyes practically glimmering, as if you were about to tell her a story about some wild tryst that left you with a negative impression of him.
“Babe, I don’t think this story ends the way you think it does.”
“We’ll see,” she said with a shrug and a wink.
“Well, he got his ass up and started walking away. Internally, I’m celebrating. But then, he sits down pretty close to me… and starts smoking again. And he’s staring me down the whole time he does it.”
“Ugh! He is an asshole,” she shook her head as you wrapped up your story. “But like, isn’t he kinda…?”
“He could be the sexiest man alive and couldn’t seduce me with that personality,” you replied confidently, although you weren’t completely sure of your words.
“That’s certainly not stopping him from trying,” she glanced over her shoulder once more, where he was still looking at you while very intently eating his ice cream cone.
“Gross,” you replied, feigning a full-body shudder. “You couldn’t even pay me to go anywhere near him.”
“It’s probably for the best anyway. A friend of my friend said there was some super messy relationship drama with him recently.”
“Lovely,” you replied, trying your best to look and sound disinterested, but feeling curious regardless. “I feel bad for whoever has to spend any extended period of time with him,” you popped the bottom of your ice cream cone into your mouth, then crushed a paper towel in your hand. “Wanna head out?”
——————
After that, you truly tried your best to avoid Patrick. Like clockwork, he seemed to appear on the beach in your backyard during the late afternoon. You weren’t ashamed to admit that you had watched him through the windows of your bedroom more than a handful of times, and you could almost swear that his head was on a swivel, as if he were looking for someone before he settled into his spot.
Unfortunately for you, it felt like he seemed to pop up wherever you were. As you evaluated boxes of strawberries at the grocery store, you noticed him eyeing bunches of bananas not all that far away from you. Midway through a hike, you noticed a familiar set of distractingly muscular thighs and tried your best to hide, much to your friend’s confusion. While drinking a fruity cocktail at a bar, you noticed him and finished off your drink and threw down a bill at record speed.
You guessed that you never realized how small a town was until you were actively attempting to avoid someone. In a way, it was a little bit exciting to be dodging him so vehemently, though you’d never really admit that to yourself. At least, it was exciting until it became an utter annoyance, much like it was becoming at that very moment.
After you’d decided that you’d spent enough of your summer lounging around without practicing any golf, you decided to take it upon yourself to head to your local country club and take on the familiar course. Of course, you couldn’t play any golf without fueling up first, which left you in the restaurant of the club snacking on a cup of fries when you spotted the one person you had been trying desperately to dodge.
You averted your gaze down to your phone and acted as if you were reading the most interesting thing in the world, but not even that farce lasted long, as you were met with the sound of a chair scratching the floor across from you. You looked back up and were met with Patrick’s intense, searing stare.
“Are you following me, or something?” he asked, his brows furrowed at you as he looked at you with concern.
“What?!” you asked with disbelief. “You’re the one who keeps showing up around me and keeps licking ice cream seductively at me!”
“Seductively?” he laughed right in your face, and you could feel your face immediately warm up in embarrassment.
“Shut up,” you replied weakly, though you knew what you saw. “Who even are you?” you asked, despite now having the displeasure of knowing exactly who he was, thanks to your friend and a Google search.
He began to smirk, and it took everything in you to not want to wipe that smug smile right off of his face. “I’m Patrick, and you are?”
You introduced yourself while mentally berating yourself for the butterflies erupting in your stomach over his intent gaze. Unfortunately, Patrick was even better looking than you could’ve imagined up close, with sunkissed skin and freckles that seemed to go on for miles.
“Well if you’re not stalking me, what are you doing here?” he questioned, though it was clear from his crooked, goofy smile that he wasn’t being serious.
“I play golf,” you explained with a casual shrug, though the feelings you were having inside were far from casual. “So I’m here to do that. You?”
“I knew I’d heard that name before,” Patrick began before stealing a french fry from you and popping it into his mouth. “You won a championship recently?”
You nodded with what you hoped was a neutral expression on your face, hoping to brush him off despite the fireworks going off in your stomach and the heat returning to your face. Sure, it wasn’t the first time someone had recognized you for your accomplishments out on the golf course, but it felt different coming from him.
“I did,” you replied as casually as possible, not acknowledging his fry thievery or reciprocating your knowledge of his athletic achievements. It was always better to be more mysterious with the type of person who seemed to love the chase, and it seemed clear to you that Patrick was one of those people. “Anyway, I need to go practice so I can win the next championship.”
You pushed your unfinished dish of fries towards him and stood up before grabbing the golf bag propped up next to your feet. You pushed your chair in and didn’t even spare him a glance back in his direction as you walked away, secretly hoping to yourself that he was still watching you as intensely as he’d been watching you at the table.
You tried your hardest not to ruminate over your conversation and feelings too much, but as you walked out to the first hole, you couldn’t help but over analyze everything. The first and most confusing of which being your feelings towards Patrick. Clearly, you were attracted to him. Despite your terrible first impressions of each other and having what could arguably be described as a meet-ugly, you couldn’t pretend like his good looks and charming, yet cocky demeanor didn’t have an effect on you. It was clear from the way that the butterflies in your stomach decided to stop lying dormant every time he was in your vicinity.
What you still couldn’t quite place were his feelings towards you. It was obvious that he was getting some kick out of teasing you. Hell, it was obvious from the first interaction you had with him. And it seemed like he might be interested in you, based on the way he seemed to be magnetically drawn to you, and his less than appropriate treatment of his ice cream cone, which he could deny all he wanted, was definitely a shoddy attempt at flirting. Even your friend had noticed.
Just as you began to try to make sense of your previous interaction, you looked up to find a golf cart headed your way. The cart was manned by none other than the subject of your deep thoughts, and as Patrick got closer to you, you swore you could see a fiery excitement ignited in his body.
“Play with me?” Patrick asked once he parked, despite already being off the vehicle and reaching for his rented golf bag.
You paused for a moment, as if you were considering his proposition, despite you already knowing your answer. “As long as you don’t mind getting your ass whooped.”
You made sure to deliver on this promise, beating Patrick with ease. In a way, it felt like comeuppance for him being a nuisance towards you just a few weeks ago. But that didn’t mean your mini tournament was without its downsides for you. You tried desperately to fight the urge to giggle like a schoolgirl when he said something stupid and snarky, and to quiet your screaming brain during the many, many, times you corrected his stance.
What you were also surprised to find was that Patrick wasn’t all that terrible of company to keep. He seemed to know exactly what to say to make you laugh, despite your effort to be unimpressed with him, or how to throw you off right before you swung at a ball. More than once, you had to remind him that no amount of teasing would change the fact that he had a terrible score, but it certainly didn’t stop him from trying.
With your landslide victory clear and your game over, the two of you made your way back to the rental station.
“You definitely cheated,” Patrick commented as he put his equipment back.
“You’re such a sore loser,” you replied with a roll of your eyes and a laugh. You’d been doing a lot of eye rolling and laughing while playing golf with him, and it was oddly quite pleasant.
“I’m not!” he insisted, turning back to face you as if that would somehow prove his point.
“You are, though! You’re a dirty player, too. I don’t think anyone has ever come up behind me and yelled for me to focus before.”
“Whatever,” he dismissed you casually, “You would be eating your words right now if we were playing tennis.”
“Yeah?” you questioned with raised brows.
“Yeah,” he parroted back, taking a step towards you and locking that intense gaze on you once more.
Feeling bold, you matched his step forward, practically getting in his face. “Fine then. Let’s play.”
“Really?” he sounded shocked by your proposition, and looked utterly unintimidated by the fact that your faces were practically touching.
“Sure. There are some courts over by the pool,” you turned to look in the direction of the pool, taking that as an opportunity to step away from him. You feared what you might do if you stayed that close to him for any longer than you needed to. “Isn’t that what you came here to do anyway?”
“So you are stalking me?” he joked, referencing your earlier conversation.
You rolled your eyes once more. At this rate, your eyes were going to be stuck at the back of your head. “Do you want to play or not?”
If you were a beast on the golf course, Patrick was a sight to behold on the tennis court. The brief article you read online simply did not do the man across from you justice as he served balls at you that probably would have wiped your head clean off of your body if you had any slower reflexes.
While you were able to get a few good hits in, courtesy of the lessons your parents put you in before they realized that golf was your calling, none of them remotely compared to the man across the court.
But your embarrassing loss was rewarded by hearing the repetitive loop of grunts and groans from your competitor. It was somewhat of a miracle that you were able to keep it together without bursting out laughing or squeezing your thighs together. You were also handsomely rewarded by seeing those muscular thighs in action. To be completely frank, there were more than a few moments where you lost momentum due to distraction from Patrick’s good looks.
While Patrick had proved himself to be a sore loser while playing golf, he wasn’t a terrible winner. He only gloated about crushing you once the two of you had finished playing, but he did happen to revel in his win for the entire walk from the tennis courts to the locker rooms.
Surprisingly, you weren’t that annoyed by him. In fact, you were pretty sure that you were hovering around the feeling of endearment.
You sat out in the lobby, freshly showered and playing on your phone when a familiar presence joined you once more.
“Are you hungry?” Patrick asked you as he made himself right at home and sat down across from you.
Was he about to ask you out on a date?
“I could eat,” you replied, trying to ignore the butterflies in your stomach once more.
“Let’s get dinner, then,” he suggested, and you tried your best not to look too excited. He was asking you out on a date. What an unexpected turn of events.
“Sure. There’s a place just up the street if you want to walk?”
The diner was slightly further than you remembered it being, but the time passed by quickly as the two of you divulged stories of your sports accomplishments on your trek over. Over dinner, the two of you instantly bonded over a similar upbringing of wealthy parents who couldn’t really be bothered to raise you, and backgrounds in boarding schools that prioritized your athletic skills over anything else.
After spending way too long at your booth and working through a spread of food that would send a shiver down your coaches’ spines, your waiter finally stopped by your table with an exhausted look on their face.
“One check or two?” they asked you.
“One,” Patrick replied before you had the chance to pipe up. The waiter turned around without inquiring anything more, clearly tired of having to serve the two of you.
“Wow,” you said with a giggle. “Chivalry is not dead.”
“I’m single-handedly keeping it alive,” he joked right along with you.
Feeling emboldened by your day of camaraderie and teasing each other, you decided to ask something. “Does that make this count as a date, then?” you asked it as a joke, though you were genuinely curious about the answer. While you’d previously found yourself intrigued with his looks, you’d now learned that he was far more than that. It was safe to say that you’d developed a full-blown crush over the span of the day.
“Do you want it to count as one?” he asked almost earnestly, and despite the fact that you were sitting, you swore you felt your knees go weak.
You shrugged nonchalantly, but the grin on your face was anything but. Fortunately, he was wearing a matching grin, and you almost swore there was a dusting of pink on his cheeks. You buckled under his gaze, and looked down into your nearly empty cup of water. “Sure.”
“Then it’s a date,” he confirmed.
“It’s so hot,” you huffed as the two of you stepped outside and into the humid night.
“Wanna cool off at the pool?” he suggested after holding the door open for you.
“Wow, you just don’t want this date to end, huh?” you teased. “The pool is definitely closed by now.”
“So?” he replied.
“So you want to break in?”
“Why not?” he shot back.
You stared at him for a moment with a mostly blank expression.
“You’re such a bad influence. Let’s go,” you conceded, heading in the direction of the city’s pool.
Once the two of you arrived at the locked gate, you stood expectantly, waiting for the next part of Patrick’s plan. You didn’t have to wait for too long, as with a brief confirmation that you were ready, he hoisted you up and over the fence. You then watched as he flung his own body over the fence, and you bit your lip as you attempted to distract yourself from how that image made you feel.
With both of you on the correct side of the fence, you took it upon yourself to shuck off your clothes—save for your underwear–before you dipped your toe in the cold water.
“How’s the water?” Patrick asked as he approached you, taking his shirt and shorts off in the process. You tried your best not to ogle too much, but his six-pack was definitely staring at you. Yeah, you were definitely ogling, and he was definitely noticing.
“You tell me,” you replied, then pushed him into the pool without really thinking. You probably wouldn’t have done it if you hadn’t just been caught looking at the man like he was a piece of meat, but you had been doing exactly that, and panicked.
After a moment, he resurfaced and spat out the water that he’d swallowed from your surprise movement. Yet, as he came back to the surface, he didn’t say anything to you.
You eyed him nervously while he began to approach you in the water, and you opened up your mouth to apologize just as you felt a hand wrap around your ankle. With a yelp, you were dragged down into the water, luckily dodging the ledge on your way down.
Coming back up, spat out the chlorinated water and coughed out what you’d swallowed. “I deserved that.”
“You definitely did,” he agreed, lightly splashing you with water from where he stood.
You splashed him right back, putting a little more effort in and splashing him with slightly more force. “But you also deserved that.”
“And why is that?” that overconfident look appeared on his face once more. Just twenty-four hours ago, if you’d seen that look, you’d probably want to knock it right off of him. Now, you were tempted to keep prodding.
“Because you were being a dick about smoking not that long ago,” you replied, getting a little closer to him and matching his look with your own confident gaze.
“Huh,” he hummed. “Fair enough.”
“So why’d you do it?”
“Who knows. Maybe I just really wanted a smoke. Maybe I wanted to catch the attention of the cute girl on the beach.”
“Shut up,” you replied with clear disbelief. “I like how you try to flatter your way out of every sticky situation.”
“I mean it.”
“So you thought annoying me was the best way to get my attention?”
“It worked, didn’t it?”
You couldn’t argue with that.
“What if I was allergic to cigarette smoke?”
“You weren’t.”
“What if I just didn’t react, then?”
“You did,” he said.
“Must’ve been fate,” you replied dryly.
“Must’ve,” he agreed earnestly. Immediately, you felt a tension in your chest, and you wondered if he felt the same way. You didn’t have a witty or sarcastic comeback, and his face was dangerously close to yours.
Unsure of what to do, you splashed him once more.
“What was that one for?”
For making me fall for you in the span of a day, you idiot.
You shrugged, unable to come up with a coherent answer with you realizing just how physically close the two of you were. Now that you were beginning to have a bit of clarity, you could hear the pounding of your heartbeat in your eardrums. Or maybe it was Patrick’s. With your bodies this close to each other, you couldn’t be too sure.
You wondered what was going through his mind, but if the quick glance to your lips and the bob of his Adam’s apple as he gulped was any indication of his thoughts, you were sure you were on the same page.
You found yourself in somewhat of a standoff as the two of you stood there, wordless and hearts pounding as you stood together in a freezing cold pool. You shut your eyes for a moment, and when you opened them, Patrick’s nose was practically pressing against yours. But just as you began to follow his lead, you were met with a blindingly bright flashlight.
“Hey!” a new voice yelled out, pulling the two of you out of your trance. “What’s going on here?”
Patrick’s eyes widened and you were sure yours did too.
“Shit, security,” you muttered to yourself as it occurred to you what was happening. The two of you immediately scurried to the side of the pool. “I don’t think they saw us, but they definitely heard us,” you whispered.
“Do you think you could outrun them?” he asked, matching your low tone as the light of the flashlight moved across the pool without
“What?”
“Come on,” he hoisted himself out of the pool and you did the same, trying your best to be quiet as the two of you grabbed your discarded clothes.
“Patrick…” you trailed off, glued to his side.
“Come on,” he repeated as he shepherded you to the fence. “I won’t let them get you. Now,” he gestured for you to come over so he could help you climb over again, and you did. As he climbed over, the security guard’s flashlight had finally caught up with the two of you.
“Hey!” the guard repeated, lunging in your direction just as Patrick made it over.
“Run!” you yelled at him as the two of you took off. All of that tennis training clearly paid off, as he was far faster than both you and the security guard.
“Get back here!” the guard shouted as he chased the two of you.
The two of you sprinted, your bare feet screaming at you as pebbles and sticks poked your soles. Running on pure adrenaline, you swore you could hear Patrick laughing as he ran ahead of you.
The two of you ended up by his car, parked safely at the country club. You desperately tried to catch your breath as you leaned against his car door, now completely sure that you’d lost the security guard who was chasing you.
“I hate you so much,” you got out in between panting heavily.
“No you don’t,” his chest rose and fell quickly as he corrected you.
“No I don’t,” you confirmed, taking satisfaction in hearing his heavy breaths next to you and knowing that you weren’t the only one affected by the chase.
It felt as if the two of you had been transported right back into the moment you were having in the pool, a heavy, undeniable tension settling over the two of you, with the adrenaline of the chase and your hearts still rapidly pumping blood from all that running. It was almost as if one second you were standing next to each other, and the next you were pinned up against his car door, kissing like your lives depended on it.
With one of his hands up your shirt, you somehow found the willpower to use the logical part of your brain. “Wait, stop,” you reluctantly said as you pulled away for air. “I don’t want another security guard chasing us.”
“They won’t,” Patrick insisted before leaning back in to kiss you.
“They will,” you disagreed, exerting all of your willpower to dodge his advance. “Take me home?”
Patrick’s hand sat securely on your thigh for the entire ride back to the beach house. With the tension between the two of you crackling and the excitement of successfully running away beginning to die down, the two of you were mostly quiet on your way over.
After he pulled into your driveway, he looked over at you with hesitance. If you didn’t know any better, you might even say that he looked a little nervous.
“Wanna come inside?” you broke the ice, knowing that was what he was surely thinking about, and just as you predicted, he seemed to light up at your invitation.
The heat of the moment seemed to have passed, with the two of you now safely in your home, and not coming off the heels of being chased down the street. Patrick sat on your living room couch while you poured two tumblers of a criminally expensive whiskey.
You returned to the living room and sat down on the far end of the couch, passing him one of the cups before extending your legs out. You were pleasantly surprised when he positioned your legs over his lap and began to soothingly rub up and down your calves.
“What a day,” you sighed, taking a long sip from your cup.
“You’re telling me,” he chuckled in response.
As you laid there, you realized that you were actually quite exhausted. A silence settled over you once more as you yawned, then Patrick yawned not too long after you.
“You know, you’re nothing like I expected you to be,” he said randomly.
“Oh?” you replied questioningly. “Should I be offended or flattered?”
“Up for interpretation,” he looked over to you to gauge your reaction, and you playfully pushed his thigh with your foot.
“Then I’m gonna interpret it in a good way.”
“I meant it in a good way,” he said after a beat.
You smiled softly as you peered at him. “I didn’t expect you to be like this, either. I actually had a lot of fun beating you in golf and running from security guards.”
“No way you’re still talking about golf after I absolutely demolished you in tennis,” he laughed, a sound that you’d grown rather fond of throughout the day.
“It was pretty amazing watching you play golf with such bad form. I don’t think I’ve ever seen someone use that many strokes on that course.”
“You wanna talk about bad form?” Patrick laughed again. “It’s a miracle you didn’t pull something when we played tennis.”
“Hey! My form is not that bad. You know I was in tennis lessons as a kid, right?”
“And how long ago was that?” he probed, looking at you with a suspicious raise of a brow.
You tried your best to do some mental math, but you were far too tired to be precise. “I mean, it was a while ago…?”
“Clearly,” he shook his head.
“Rude,” you replied, though your tone carried across you not really caring. “I’m still here for a few more weeks. Maybe you could teach me.”
“Only if you teach me how to get better at golf. I’m gonna have to impress my fellow board members someday.”
“Deal,” you agreed. Part of you wanted to leap for joy after establishing that this wasn’t some sort of one-and-done thing, and that you could at least see Patrick until you went back home.
You watched as he leaned further against the couch and tilted his head against the cushioned back of the piece of furniture, his eyes fluttering shut as he did so.
“Want to go sleep on a real bed? The guest room is clean,” you offered.
“No, I’m comfortable here,” he yawned and patted your calf. You didn’t believe him in this slightest, with his long limbs and less than ideal sleeping position. But you were quite comfortable, so you didn’t bother with insisting he leave the couch.
In the morning, you woke up in the same position that you’d fallen asleep in, with your legs draped over Patrick’s lap as he sat up and snored.
You did your best not to disturb him as you got up and went about your morning routine, taking a shower and changing into something comfortable before heading back downstairs. You were surprised to find Patrick somehow still upright and asleep on your couch, but you didn’t question it too much. It had been a long day and night.
You brewed some coffee in the kitchen, making sure to leave a portion for your guest, before you grabbed the book you’d been reading and headed out to sit on your portion of the beach.
You’d lost track of time while sitting out there, listening to the sound of the ocean and getting caught up in the contents of your book. In fact, you’d gotten so lost in your book, that you hadn’t even noticed that you’d gained a presence on the beach.
After Patrick cleared his throat, you turned to look at him. A smile grew on your face as the two of you locked eyes, and you scooted to the left on your oversized beach chair. Surely, there was enough space for both of you.
He took your invitation and sat down next to you, glancing between you and the ocean as he settled in. He wrapped an arm around your shoulder and occasionally peered down at your book, but otherwise didn’t bother you. The two of you fell into a comfortable rhythm, your chests rising and falling in sync with each other as the two of you lost track of time.
Maybe Patrick wasn’t such a terrible beach companion after all.
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a-hazbin-reader · 4 months
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could you do something about how alastor gets jealous and how he shows it? Like what things would get him jealous and stuff like that and then how he would go about it? Thank you!
I guess I gotta- 🥵
Alastor X Reader Headcanons
✅️Romantic
❌️Platonic
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TW: Alastor being a red flag, Wifey is into it even though she pretends not to be, A widdle suggestive
Description: ☝️⬆️
It doesn't take much to make Alastor jealous, he has a big ego to defend and doesn't like to share your attention
He also doesn't think a lot of people are worthy of your attention so that's a big part of it
Alastor is almost childish the way he acts out when he's jealous, it's painfully obvious even though he denies it every time
He sulks and acts out to get your attention back on him, doing anything he can to make you just look at him
He's rude and intimidating to anyone he thinks is flirting with you or trying to take you for themselves
After every incident, he tries to pretend like nothing happened and refuses to acknowledge his jealous streak
Can't people just understand that you're a married woman and that Alastor deserves all of your time???
Someone is talking to you and you're laughing too hard, cheeks a little too pink? Alastor is right there to sniff out any ill intention
"What's so funny, my dear? Surely you're not gossiping without me.."
He's wrapping a protective arm around you and kissing your cheek, eyeing the other person the entire time as he asserts his husbandly dominance over them
"Hm? Oh! He was telling me a funny joke about-"
Alastor takes a break from kissing your wrist and palm to snap his gaze to the other man, a wicked gleam in his eye
"Ohhhh! So you're a clown! Wonderful~! Your attire had me wondering what you do for a living, but now it all makes sense!"
The other person is visibly uncomfortable by your husband's unspoken challenge and backs out of the conversation with their tail between their legs
"I guess he had other things to do~"
You roll your eyes as Alastor nuzzles your neck, petting his around his ears and antlers
"You're are not a very subtle man, my dear."
You're dancing with someone who's not him? Alastor will physically shut that shit down
He spends maybe a full minute pouting and ignoring everyone else around him, eyes locked on you and your dance partner
"Alastor, are you even listening?"
"Out of all the women here, why did he choose MY wife? I walked away for one second, and he snatched her up!"
He doesn't care for how closely they're holding you, the way they blush and smile from your attention
Alastor isn't having it, striding over and using his hip to push the man away from you and off the dance floor, taking your hand
You're trying not to smile at him, pressing against your husband as you take his hand and dance with him
"Alastor, that was rude..."
He simply chuckles and spins you around happily, snapping his fingers to change the song into something more romantic
"I would say I'm sorry but we both know I'm not~ Besides, I waited for my chance to dance with you!"
It's hard to stay mad at him when he's looking at you like you're the only person in the world and holding you like you're something precious
It helps that he's so handsome, you can't help but lean up and steal a kiss from him, feeling familiar butterflies at the touch
"You've been dancing with me all night, and you barely waited a minute... you greedy demon~"
He leans into your hand as you cup his cheek, tail wagging from having your undivided attention again
"Is it a crime that I want to hog my darling wife? That I crave every opportunity to dance with her and steal the show?"
He's leaning in for another kiss, and it makes you instinctively move in closer to meet his lips
"It will be if you keep injuring people~"
And those are just some examples of people who weren't flirting with you, it's so much worse when someone actually wants you
You're waiting for your husband to meet with you for your date, dressed up and looking your absolute best
When you hear a sharp whistle from behind, only to see a sleazy looking demon towering over you and eyeing your body
"And just where do you think you're going looking like that, beautiful? My place is that way~"
He's much too close, placing a hand on the wall behind you in order to keep you from running, completely unaware of the danger he's in
You can't help but roll your eyes at the situation
"I'm flattered, really I am... but I'm not interested, I'm waiting for someone, actually."
You casually move out from under his arm, completely unfazed by the way his expression darkens as you fix your appearance
"Oh really? And just who might you be waiting for? Let me guess, your boyfriend?"
He doesn't look like he believes you, making air quotes around the word boyfriend
You can't help but laugh at the poor soul, putting a hand on your hip as you whip around to face him-
"Husband, actually~ My name is Alastor though maybe you'll recognize my other name! The Radio Demon~ Maybe you've heard of me?"
It's such a treat to watch the cocky demon lose his composure in fear and so sexy to watch your husband be the cause of it
The demon is so much larger than Alastor but he's practically cowering away from him, Alastor grinning at him as he tilts his head
"Look uh-I'm sorry! I didn't realize-"
Your husband tuts at the demon, antlers already growing as he morphs into his larger demonic form
You can't help but blush at how sweet Alastor is being, rushing to your rescue like this
"Didn't realize what? That you were hitting on my wife? You think I would just stand by and let you think you have a shot with her? She's much too far out of your league, unfortunately."
He's so cute when he's jealous
"Darling, do be quick with that? I don't want to miss our reservation-and no eating him! I don't want you to spoil your appetite!"
Alastor looks at you and visibly blushes at how good you look, the other demon simply an afterthought as he tears them apart
"My dear, you look absolutely ravishing~ How am I going to keep the other men from looking at you when you're so delectable?"
He's still humongous, a large claw reaching out to stroke your leg tenderly, a lovesick expression on his face
You can practically see the hearts in his eyes~ Smiling at your husband and blowing him a kiss
"It's a good thing that you're the only man I have eyes for then, isn't it?"
He shrinks back down to his normal size and kisses your hand before wrapping an arm around you as you two walk together
"It's something that I'm extraordinarily grateful for~"
You can't help but lean your head against him, letting him nuzzle the top of your head in an affectionate manner
"Though~ I wouldn't mind a refresher of just how much you adore me...~"
You can't help but snort at the comment, gently slapping his chest before pulling him in for a kiss
"Dinner first~ You'll need your strength~"
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I might go back and change this one a bit ngl
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