#anyway once i post this I'll be back to the regularly programmed not having the time for this

[mashbrainrot]

I think if you are the sort of person with Big Feelings when it comes to a certain piece of media (or just in general) you may have a tendency to read every post someone makes - and even posts they simply reblog - and assume they also have Big Feelings about it. Assume they have some sort of... dark agenda, are attempting to stir up drama, however you wanna frame it. The truth is, a lot of the time, people post things with very little feeling, and sometimes without much thought.

[durgeapologist]

hi hello dreadrook nation <3 i am off hiatus!

i wanted to say thank you so kindly and so dearly for not only the sweet comments and support on my last post, but all the wonderful dms and darling asks i have reveived as well! i will inch my way to responding asap but i just want to say you guys are so loved and so dear to my heart fr. best things to come back to.

i planned to come back and simply continue reblogging and posting like normal, like nothing ever happened bc whoever doxxed me really deserves not a lick more of attention; however comma.

coming back online to see a certain group made the doxxings all about themselves (shocker!!!) was a wild fucking thing to see tbh.

questioning the validity of it? the “authenticity” of my doxxing? when it gave me the biggest panic attack i have ever had in my life?? (and i’ve been doxxed many a times before. years ago when i was a kid in other fandom spaces; this one hit different bc i am an adult and extenuating circumstances of my life made this a genuinely horrible experience.)

even just entertaining an ask that suggested they weren't real? you know what you were doing.

you people are vile. truly vile.

especially when you’re reposting screenshotted pictures of my post to try and weasle out your explanation or defense out in some form or fashion. let it be known: i have these weirdos blocked. they have BEEN blocked. full stop. they are coming onto my blog and screenshotting my post from (i assume) alt accounts when they are blocked so they can repost it and make this all about them. fang and i owe you people absolutely nothing. we gave the decency of not throwing unfounded accusations around about who did this. i cannot, however, control what conclusions others draw from your clear patterns of behavior. sorry 🤷🏻 i just simply cannot.

i would like to say this: there has only been two fic "authors" called out for ai, and one other person who randomly self-inserted themself into drama with completely different people (meaning people i do not know and am not friends with) and started crying wolf. so there are (potentially) three people and their groupies who could have doxxed us. not just the one group who has taken over and made this all about themselves for literally no reason. or!! it could be unrelated to all of them and simply someone watching from the sidelines who believed the weird ass lies and ramblings they have been constantly posting since early february.

either way, screenshotting and reposting content from a blog that has you blocked is fucking weird. doxxing people over a fictional character and ai slop is fucking weird. entertaining the idea that the doxxings were fake (when i quite literally posted the screenshot of the doxxing with my address and name blocked out) is FUCKING. WEIRD.

i have thought over it time and time again with the previous web of lies they were weaving to make a final post, once and for all, to air out my grievances and make it known what exactly they are lying about, but i always let my friends stop me and be the voice of reason bc they care about me and genuinely want all of this to stop.

now? after all of this? i'm having a real hard time keeping quiet and not directly addressing every single last lie they have come up with since my callout post.

so i shall sit and think on it. whiteknighting against behavior you perpetuate wasn't the best idea after all, huh?

anyways!! i'll get back to the regularly scheduled programming now. flooding th TL with solas and dreadrook once more. smooches <3

[oracle-fae]

a short life update

it's been a while since i've posted. i wanted to share a few things that have been going on with me. back in March i started getting mental health help through a local psychiatry program and was diagnosed with ADHD. i began taking a new medication on top of my antidepressant and was referred for a full psych evaluation. once I spoke with my psychiatrist, she started me on a third medication for anxiety that I can take as needed. she also gave me a referral for a therapist.

i had my first therapy session two days ago and I still feel kind of emotionally exhausted from it after having to bring up a few stressful topics. overall i'm equal parts nervous and excited to finally unbox some of the trauma I've experienced in my life.

it was recommended that I keep a journal for therapy. I used to journal regularly but life got in the way and it became less and less of a priority. I did make a couple of entries over the weekend, though, but I don't have too much to write about as of late.

aside from my mental health, I've been dealing with the day to day stresses of being a mom, wife, and homemaker. my three year old broke his collarbone last week and my 17 month old is now at the age where everything is fascinating and must be touched. my husband works an insane amount of hours for the railroad and hasn't been able to do much besides eat and sleep. so, it's been a hell of a few months to say the least.

i'm still around-ish, but i'm spending more time in books and with my family than I am on the internet. earlier this year I finished the ACOTAR series and took several weeks to regroup. I finished a book called Credence this weekend and am trying to choose between two other books at the moment.

anyway, that's about it. if I get any downtime this coming week I will try to add some things to my queue now that Tumblr is once again fresh in my mind. if I don't, i'll pop back in eventually.

much love xx

[beyejun]

hi everyone this is laur (except im changing my alias to august) and i figured i'd do all of my muse announcements in one lil post <3

first of all, you might have noticed that i've k*lled alex. it wasn't a lack of muse so much as i felt that he didn't suit wannabe's premise as much as i'd hoped he'd evolve into. even after his closest friends were getting signed, he had no interest in being an idol so it was kinda a lost cause there... plus, i had wanted to bring yejun back since i dropped him about a year ago, and didn't want to break any rules, so... here we are now!

if u remember yejun you might also remember that i dropped him almost exactly a year ago bc of my terrible seasonal depression. well, i am happy to report that i am doing much better (so far) this year and regularly taking vitamin d makes a huge difference! so now the boy is here to stay.

very little changed about him, but i'll still do a quick recap under the cut!

a lot of this is copied-pasted from my last intro post on yejun... work smarter not harder aksjdhfas

tl;dr of any changes

i changed his history a bit so the last year+ was spent doing his military service; he's only recently returned in time to return to his studies this fall semester.

he's in @bejoomi's band! drummer (which is also a new skill).

tl;dr of his backstory

knew he wanted to pursue music professionally basically since middle school, however his parents are extremely opposed to the idea and would rather see him do something more “respectable” (aka something that he’ll actually make money at lol)

saved up his allowance to buy his own guitar and taught himself to play with the help of youtube because his parents said that if they were going to pay for instrument lessons, he’d have to learn violin or piano or something more “formal”… so as u can see as a child he was (respectfully) defiant and did his own thing anyway (also learned the drums somehow in this time)

he made a deal w his parents that if he could get scouted by an entertainment company by the time he graduated high school, he could pursue music. obviously, he is not a trainee or an idol, so that failed. so his end of the bargain was that he’d go to university for whatever they wanted instead.

he had to retake the exam once bc the first time he took it his scores were so bad so he started a year late and is currently in his sophomore year as an economics major. it’s still a mild disappointment to his parents since he has a brother who is a lawyer and the other is in med school, but it was the best program that yejun could get into.

needless to say. he hates economics. he’s doing his best but his motivation is at an all time low, he constantly feels burned out and tired, and honestly he’s probably depressed but he doesn’t know it bc he doesn’t think he’s “bad enough” to be “actually depressed” but he is just gaslighting himself honestly

interests and personality quirks

since starting economics school he’s slowly lost motivation to do anything that he used to do for fun, which unfortunately includes playing guitar. he hasn’t touched it in about a year… :( he is playing drums again tho

does the bedtime revenge thing where he stays up late when he really shouldn’t… he says it’s bc he doesn’t want to wake up and have to go to class

because he doesn’t sleep much at night he survives on a delicate balance between a caffeine addiction (he loves a good iced americano) and mid-day depression naps.

kinda hard to get him out and about these days… but that said he’s into video games, mostly team-based first person shooters, and is apparently a tank main. i don’t actually play any first person shooters so i have no idea of the details on this but he’s supposedly a decent player (nowhere near pro but able to be somewhat competitive in casual games)… when he’s staying up all night he’s probably playing games with his friends

also plays minecraft when he wants something slower paced… not particularly good at anything in it but he likes building his silly little house

oh by the way! he has an aunt who lives near his parents who visited often… she’d often make remarks about his chubby cheeks, call him fat and ugly, and after growing up hearing that constantly yejun honestly believes her

another fun (and by fun i mean decidedly unfun) tidbit is that he had a gf he was very serious about in his freshman yr of uni… it was a relatively short relationship but he genuinely thought he’d marry her. until she gave him chlamydia right after he came home from the military (he was going to propose too btw). turns out she was cheating! needless to say they broke up, yejun is now healthy after a round of antibiotics, and he doesn’t want to talk about her ever again. he tried a rebound or two to see if they’d cheer him up but they honestly made him feel worse so he ditched that idea pretty quickly… happy to stay single for now (supposedly)

plots & relationships

this boy… needs some friends in his life that’ll deal with his depressive tendencies and maybe push him out of his comfort zone. maybe a friend who keeps trying to set him up w other girls to help him find someone who actually makes him forget about his ex? or a friend who invites him out for coffee at least once a week just to make sure he gets out of the house for something other than classes sometimes… other cute ideas too pls i would like to put so much love into his life he has no choice but to get better

classmates too ofc… i dont expect anyone else to be an economics major but maybe they had some gen eds together? or were in the same freshman orientation and stayed in touch? i didn’t specify where he’s going but it’s not an arts school, so this is open for plotting out the details!

along w classmates… study buddies? they dont have to go to the same school or anything tbh they can just meet up at the same libraries, cafes, etc. and work on their own stuff… just having someone else around helps keep yejun on track a little bit better

high school friends too… he went to sopa thanks to the deal w his parents, so anyone he was close with then would’ve probably known about it and known what became of it… he’s a lot quieter and more subdued than he used to be so i wonder what your muse would think about that 🤔

i also do love some good antagonistic plots so maybe some old rivals who are happy to kick him while he’s down… alternatively rivals who miss his competition and want him back in the music/idol wannabe scene to help push them both

considered the idea of him having been in a band in high school with friends that’s since dissolved… so ex-bandmates might be cool

he's in dead calm but there's no rules that say he can't also play in another band as well! maybe someone should convince him to pick up the guitar again

[painted-crow]

Bird? Bird. Bird Bird.

Hey there. I've been going in circles about my sorting since I discovered the SHC system and would appreciate your help in figuring it out. Although I'm convinced I'm at least some sort of Badger and Bird combo, possibly with some Lion in there somewhere, I'll let you decide based on the word vomit below. 😆

Nonny, I have no idea how Tumblr is going to format an ask this long when I post it, so in the interest of letting people actually read the words you've put effort into (and making sure my reply is also trackable), I'm copypasting this so it'll behave more like a submission. Yours is a recent ask I think, so hopefully you see it! I'll briefly post the original once this is up, so you get the ping.

As a kid, my family called me a walking encyclopedia. I spent a lot of my time burying my head in books and magazines in an effort to understand the world around me rather than engaging with people. National Geographic, atlases, and the Magic Treehouse series were particular favorites of mine, but sometimes I would sprinkle in some fantasy novels here and there when I felt like reading something more creative and fun.

Nice, this is a whole lot of Birdsec up front. Wonder why you need me to confirm this for you.

Along with a genuine curiosity about history and science, I felt a sense of security in gathering knowledge and would let it guide my decisions (What a fucking nerd, am I rIGHT?)

Shoosh, you are perfectly cool.

Also, I would constantly correct everyone and anyone if I felt they didn't understand something or were completely uninformed, even if butting into that conversation was rude (then again, it could also be that I was too young to understand that there was a time and place for speaking).

Probably. Can I take a guess here that you were an asynchronous development (aka "gifted") kid? Maybe even twice exceptional ("gifted" and also neurodivergent)? I don't have that info obviously, I'm just guessing.

@wisteria-lodge just came out with a great post about "gifted" kids (and why that term is garbage).

A lot of twice exceptional kids get "missed" with diagnosis (hi!) and don't know there's a name and a reason for the struggles they have to deal with, especially social struggles. I can't diagnose you, of course, but that might be something to read up on if you haven't already.

(Good places to start are @adultingautistic and @adhd-alien on tumblr, or the YouTube channel HowToADHD. Be very wary of any source that's targeted almost completely towards parents of autistic or ADHDer kids, or anything that feels infantilizing in general. ND folks are just different, not broken or oversensitive or immature. If a source doesn't seem to know that, you know they have at least one huge piece of bad info. Their other stuff probably isn't better.)

Anyway, back to your regularly scheduled program.

It felt wrong to let them have an incomplete picture.

Ooh, an Idealist primary. Probably Bird. Could still be Lion?

I was very outspoken about what I thought was right and wrong, and why, which was usually some fun fact I had read in a book or heard through someone else.

Yeah, no, that's Bird.

Even when I would play basketball, I would play better if I understood the theoretical and technicalities of the game and how to work within the rules. I had to understand the why before I could even begin to execute. In a realm where physicality was seemingly more important, I still managed to find a playing and learning style that allowed me to stay in my head.

You are a loud Birdsec, and I suspect the reason you're piling up all this evidence for me is that you also have more unwarranted insecurity about it than the Shaq-A-Roni (not sponsored) has cheap greasy salami.

TLDR; I was an arrogant shit as a kid, lmao.

Bullshit.

I mean, maybe you acted that way. But I don't think you're seeing the whole picture.

Some kids have the bad luck to grow up interacting with adults like this...

Adult: you are Smart, and therefore worthy of Positive Attention.

Kid: ok I will work very hard at being Smart, because I value your opinion and want Positive Attention.

(later)

Kid: can I have the Positive Attention? I am very Smart. look at this Smart thing I did

Adult: bad! arrogant! only We may bestow the label of Smart, and declare worthiness of Attention, when it is convenient to Us!

Kid: but I did the same thing...

Adult: yes but now it's annoying. you should know this, you're Smart.

Of course, there is some reasoning to adults' wanting kids to learn social norms about modesty. But generally they don't explain this well, and the kids who continue to act "arrogant" are at least a little bit attention starved.

Kids wanting attention isn't a bad thing. It's a totally normal and natural need. It's not selfish of them to want feedback and praise; that's just a human thing, and kids need it for development. Kids who get called arrogant are mostly just following the rules adults have set for their interactions.

You can call an adult arrogant, but an adult has the ability to choose not to interact that way. They can opt out of the entire premise that intelligence is what makes them worthy, and they have a lot more freedom to set boundaries. Kids' choices are much more constrained, and they don't always realize they have a choice when they do, because their freedom and autonomy is always growing and it takes time to figure out how to use that. (Also because they don't always have the freedom and safety they should.)

So if you grew up in an environment like this, even if that interaction above was... more subtle, you shouldn't blame yourself for the coping mechanism you picked up--even if it feels bad or shameful to look back on, or you want to act differently now. Feeling shame is also normal, it's just not very productive. Once more I'll point at the works of Brené Brown--you can probably find her books in the library.

Since you're a Birdsec, I wonder if you ever had a "Trying To Impress You" Actor Bird mask. I definitely did, and it became so automatic that it took me ages to realize that it was there and I could take it off. Then I discovered how much energy that thing had been taking to maintain. Yikes.

This garbage isn't limited to one Sorting, btw. The school system and societal expectations fling it at all of us.

Being self-deprecating, and calling yourself nerdy, arrogant, or other labels like that can stem the accusations of arrogance, but it's not the healthiest way to talk to or about yourself. You don't need to put yourself down. You don't need to impress anyone. You're worthy whether you impress people or not.

Be kind to your child-self, is what I'm saying. It's hard, but remember they're a kid, and they're still part of you. Have compassion for them.

During my high school years, I developed social anxiety which also led to depression. Through a lot of therapy and some friends that I would use as a sounding board, it became apparent that the main trigger for my anxiety was concern with doing the right thing in dealing with people (as well as the usual fear of judgment and suffocating feeling of being around large crowds).

Yeah, primary anxiety. Not fun. Also, maybe,,, RSD? Again, not here to diagnose you with anything, just something to read up on.

My thinking was very big picture, too much at times, and I was so worried about considering every single variable and possibility that analysis paralysis became a common frustration for me.

Do I have some sort of bias that's affecting how I treat this person? Why does this work for me but not for this other person? Am I being ignorant by choosing this? Am I really getting to the bottom of this issue or did I make a wrong turn somewhere and now have completely lost sight of it?

Textbook Exploded Bird. Hugs, that's tough.

It looked a lot like caring about what other people thought of me, but really I was concerned with how my thinking and opinions could be negatively affecting those around me.

I wonder who this voice is, cutting you down. The implication that you're obsessed with your own image, how people see you, is a common thread between this and the "arrogance" thing you're worried about. Does that accusation really come from you? Or was it something someone else told you?

You're not just self-conscious. Someone has taught you to be self-conscious about being self-conscious. And look, maybe they meant well or whatever, but this isn't helping you.

(Also, this anxious self-examination? It's a stressed-out Birdpri habit. Your Sorting is the easiest part of this ask to answer.)

Hurting someone else was the result of a flaw in my system. The way that I treated people was a direct reflection of who I was and my goodness as a person; if I made a wrong decision and hurt somebody, then I was a monster.

You and the Bird from my last ask. (Unless you're the same person, lol.) Go read that post here.

And, being somewhat young at the time, I made wrong decisions constantly.

Well, yeah. Everyone does.

I would constantly ask friends, "Should I have done X instead?" in order to gain perspective on every single tiny detail of a social situation. It got so bad that I was extremely burnt out by the middle of my sophomore year and struggled with basic social interactions. I was paralyzed. (Is this what Burning is like? Not totally sure. Maybe just Undecided?)

It's more Explodey, but could be charred too. Again, see that linked post.

Over the years, I had to learn how to not constantly analyze myself and my motivations because it was heavily affecting my quality of life. I have since gotten better, but still do fall into the trap of over-psychoanalyzing myself from time to time, much to my friends' dismay.

Hey, recovery! We love to see it ❤

Even if it's not perfect, this is still really important for you. You're working to move past the struggles you've had to deal with. Congrats! ✨

One pattern that I have noticed over the course of my life is that people trust me more quickly than they trust other people, hence the mediator reputation. I think there is a part of that that was related to my social status and the fact that I wouldn't have anyone to tell, nonetheless being able to help others helped me develop a lot of confidence and decent interpersonal/communication skills.

Did you pick up a Badgersec model/performance/Actor Bird mask as your default social mode? It's possible, and if so, same :p

I have had people who have told me about their mental illnesses, childhood trauma, secret hate for their s/o or family member, etc within a week of knowing them. (For a while it got to the point of me being a bit of an enabler of toxic behaviors, which I've corrected since then) Most of them are lucky that I'm nice enough to keep their secrets, lol.

I get this too--outside the blog, I mean, and completely unprompted. It's kind of strange when it just... happens to you!

That's an experience connected with Badger secondaries and Badgersec models.

I did have one incident recently that involved one person in my friend group crossing of boundaries so blatantly and harmfully and constant gaslighting that I confided in a few friends about how I'd been mistreated and what this person had told me about themselves as reasons that I thought they were a terrible person, and within a few days that person was out of the group.

I didn't need to lie, I didn't need to exaggerate the truth, and I didn't even need to do much else other than tell these few friends about the red flags, and they still took my side. It felt horrible at the time, and still does as I retell it, and I constantly ask myself how I let this person lie to and confuse me for so long without realizing it.

Well done, asking for support when you needed it! Aside from protecting yourself (a worthy and important cause), you protected your friends from this person potentially doing the same thing to them.

Also, you have good friends. And probably a Badgersec model.

Don't blame yourself for not defending yourself earlier, either. It takes time and experience to learn how to set boundaries and figure out when someone is acting in bad faith.

In the least rude way possible, I have to ask: do you have access to therapy? You need some self-compassion, you're way too hard on yourself. That's not a judgment on you; a lot of the advice I'm offering, I gathered from personal experience.

(Hopefully I'm not just projecting. I have to make a lot of guesses in these posts.)

I'm sorry for the lengthy ask, but hopefully there was some helpful information somewhere within that whole shpeel.

I think you already knew you were a double Bird, underneath all the self-doubt. You just needed someone to tell you that you're a good enough double Bird.

It's okay. You are. You belong, I promise.

- Paint

[stumbleintothesun]

Life Rant

For the few people in here...sorry lmao this is long as hell.

Lately I've been feeling like...garbage. I know there's no one on this place that really follows me, so this is me posting to the void.

I have been dealing with a lot of health issues related to my mental health and weight. I've gained nearly twenty pounds in a year, and no matter what I do my weight doesn't budge. I work out regularly, Ive been trying to eat better but...my only thought is its because I'm working a desk job now - which I fucking hate with a fury. And I know my weight isnt the end of the world - it just really, really fucks with my mental health. I've always felt ugly. The only time I didn't was when I was super thin which I know is problematic - and I know that's part of my mental health...like my aunt died from an ED. And my mom definitely had/has an ED even if she's gotten much better about it in the past few years...

And I'm finally getting my face to clear up after wearing these masks for a year - a year! But I'm still dealing with the healing process and I'm anxious it will scar. I've worked this entire pandemic at a job I *hate* just to you know, finally pay off my student loans just go back to school so maybe I can do something I love. But even at 25 and providing for myself, I hardly got any financial help. The only thing saving me is my grades that got me a decent transfer scholarship.

But the first school I applied to wanted my high school transcript, even though I have an associate's degree, and because I'm, frankly, stupid I somehow missed that they needed it. So they threw out my application that I spent an otherwise four hours writing for.

So I'm going to Eastern, which frankly will be better for my mental health, but they don't have a tuition free program. So I'm going to have to borrow money after just finally paying off my single year at a liberal arts college debt that I took on when I was 17 (it ended up being like 30k to pay off). And it's all because I didn't fucking read right. So much for being a good student, I guess.

But it wouldn't have mattered because they would've hardly taken any of my classes despite most of them being from down the road and for an associate's degree! And even Eastern is giving me a hard time, despite my degree they say I don't have the basic level biology course - my degree is biology focused! I'm going into ecology! I have taken genetics, conservation biology, anatomy and physiology, cellular biology but I don't have intro bio? So now I have to test out, on top of working full time. Which is fine, its a good refresher...I'm just so overwhelmed with life right now. I have a stack of over 100 flash cards and I'm just anxious.

This is a year after my partner went through an ugly break up with their old fiance (we were poly), and their ex was an abusive POS who once told them if they came out as anything other than their assigned gender, he wouldn't date them anymore. He gaslit them constantly, made them feel like hell. So we finally got out, but he wanted the house they got together or 10k. He made over double what they make - and he always forced them to pay half the bills, including half of his fucking protein bullshit because it was "groceries." He knew they didn't have the funds. Because our friends are amazing, we were able to buy him off but he left the house trashed.

It fucking sucked, and they were also responsible for getting his name off the house which meant a refinance that we could hardly afford. We got lucky we were able to do it, but they hardly got anything back for it. And it was a *nightmare*. We finally got it done, after pulling teeth and it took six months. Four months longer than they said. And that entire time they were forced to occasionally reach out to him, their old abuser.

Finally we were free, but then I started having further issues at work. Between the pandemic, and working in a heavily red area during the election, I cried a lot. I work in customer service and while I make okay money for the industry, I'm constantly burned out. My colleagues are okay, but it feels stupid to leave just to find a job for three months to go back to school. Then I started being short in my drawer (I'm a teller at a bank). The final straw was being short $500. Now I'm on a work plan, and if Im short again, I'm out. And it's my fault. I don't know how it has been happening. So now I'm always on edge at work, triple checking everything. And I could leave, I could get another job but there's no promise I'll make what I do now, and in order for me to pay for the chunk of school I need to, I have to put away a certain amount every month.

I do have a grant of sorts for 5k per semester to help with bills, which will alleviate a lot once August arrives. And I know I'm crazy lucky to have that. So sometimes I feel like such an asshole about it. But we have a house to pay for and bills to pay. Just like everyone else. Ugh, I don't know.

I talked to my doctor about my weight, came in with calorie intake numbers and how much I work out with zero change. I cut out pop entirely from drinking it every day. Nothing has helped. So we switched my meds from Lexapro to Wellbutrin to see if I lose weight because of that. Nope, just having more mental break downs, steady weight, and my resting heart rate is abnormally high, stopping me from making a little extra cash donating plasma. So now I'm switching back to Lexapro with nothing gained other than. You know. Feeling like shit. Next up? Birth control coming out of my arm. Don't really need it anyway. And maybe that will help? But I don't think so. I'm not sure what to do.

I am genuinely trying to be healthy, eating more whole foods. More veggies. More home cooked meals. I love to cook, I'm just tired. And sometimes the air fryer and oven baked frozen foods are too easy to pass up. I'm trying to always eat breakfast. I'm working out again, we have a gym membership but there are so many men there and I dont always feel comfortable, because my partner has been anemic and they can't go yet. So I use our bike in the living room and do home workouts.

But when I did this last time there was zero change in weight or anything. Even when I ate really, really clean for three weeks and worked out for most days, tracking calories and everything. Nothing changed. My thyroid is fine, we've already checked it. I'm just tired.

This past year, other than being with my partner has fucking sucked. And this doesn't even cover all the shit they've dealt with with switching to they/them and a name change. I love them so much, and love that they are finally comfy but their parents were assholes about it. And that matters. It does, and I get it. I just wish I could help them more. I wish we had a break, a breather for longer than a day. Even then I can't relax, I'm too on edge. There's too much to be done. I need to earn money, I need to clean, I need to focus. I need to be productive in some way to justify if I'm not working on those things. It's...all dumb.