#anyway prayer circle that my new passport is in there and this shit is DONE as soon as i retrieve said package bc the anxiety otherwise is

[scare-ard--sleigh]

what makes This mercury retrograde different from every other mercury retrograde : |

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #197

“she wraps those hands around that pole, she licks those lips and off we go, she takes it off nice and slow ‘cuz that’s porn star dancin’.”

Do you wear something on your left hand/wrist/arm without fail? I have a ring on my left thumb. What is the latest you’ve stayed up for? Why? Oh idk, if you mean staying up waiting for something in particular and not just staying up all night for the hell of it. I think WoW's Warlords of Draenor expansion launch was the latest; it was sometime at night, between midnight and 3 A.M., and. Between me, Jason, Amanda, and Jacob, I by far stayed up the latest and pretty much died that day asleep. What is an article of clothing you would never ever wear? Rompers are just a no for me. What is something you lie to yourself about? I don't really do that anymore. If I know the truth deep down, lying would do me no good. Do you enjoy solving problems? NO. All problems do is stress me out. Are you more books smart, street smart, or random trivia smart? Oh, totally trivia. GMM taught me the most pointless shit. Are you a kinesthetic, an auditory or a visual learner? Kinesthetic. Would you ever take part in a TV quiz show? If so, which one? If not, why? No; I don't want my ugly ass on TV, the stress would murder me, plus I'd be really nervous and awkward. Does it take a lot for you to cry, or does it happen easily? It is VERY easy to make me cry. Do you have two of the same pair of pants? I believe I do. Who gives the best advice? Sara. She neeeeeds to do something in the psychological field. Do you have a lot of pictures of you and your friends? Old ones. I pretty much never take any now because 1.) I hate my face and 2.) what friends? What’s the hardest decision you’ve ever had to make? Truly and entirely letting Jason go. Who do you usually see in your dreams? Sara, my parents, sisters, and my theory is the lingering effects of PTSD keep Jason as a pretty regular fixture. HA HA OH YEAH MARK IS ALSO IN THEM SOMETIMES. Generally though, I don't remember my dreams. When was the last time you cleaned out a bathtub? Literally never. Never been a chore. Would you rather read poetry or write poetry? Write. Have you ever had any really infected injuries? Not really infected, I think. That cyst was, but that's not really an "injury." Is there any band out there that you like every song by them? No. Have you ever cussed/swore in front of younger children? If so, did they eventually imitate what you said? I'm sure I have with legit babies, but even then, I would try avoiding it. Now, I'm super careful around any aged child, and no. Do you have any friends that you almost always joke around with? Alex and Chelsea. Serious moments are almost non-existent, especially with Alex. Have you learned any new words today? No. If your hair never got greasy again, would you still wash it? Well yeah, it would still get dirty. When was the last time you played jump rope? Not since being a young teen... Talk about your first love. I think everyone in my online circle knows the story. High school sweethearts, strong and steady relationship that pretty much everyone thought was permanent, but ended very abruptly. Know now that it's for the better it ended; who the hell knows, maybe I'd still be an extremely depressed and hopeless mess. What’s the most beautiful songs you’ve ever heard in your opinion? "The Two Trees" and "Dante's Prayer," both by Loreena McKennitt, are unreal. "Obstacles" by Syd Matters? Goosebumps every single time. Okay really I could go on forever. What kind of self care is your favorite to do? I get the most satisfaction out of skin care. Are you affectionate? With s/os. I'm a hugger if I know you well enough. Who do you look up to? Mark, Steve Irwin, I look up to some parts of Otep Shamaya despite her mostly being a bitch, Sara, and there's so many more, but I'm blanking atm. Do you do art? Using what (pencil, watercolor, etc)? Usually a mechanical and colored pencils. Do you dance? What style of dance? Not anymore. Favorite old film? A lot. But probably Johnny Got His Gun. What weather is the most beautiful, in your opinion? Snowy. Do you have a lucky number? No. Have you ever wished on a star? What about on a fallen eyelash? No. What’s the most beautiful thing in life, In your opinion? People coming together for good, despite any differences or grudges. What instrumental sound is your favorite? Violin, electric guitar, or piano. What’s the best song a friend has ever introduced to you? Ohhhh idk. "Wolf In Sheep's Clothing" is high on the list, thanks Sara. Favorite shoe you own? Some converse with a skull design. Do you know any German words? Yeah, but I've forgotten quite a lot. Four semesters of German have definitely faded a bit. Do you have a passport? No. Do you say any words that are pretty specific to your area? Well, "y'all' for one. There's definitely sayings, though I'm not gonna sit here trying to remember 'em considering I don't use much, if any. Do you know anyone who everyone thinks is gay, but is not out? No. Vegetables: better raw or cooked? Are there any raw veggies I like??? Have you ever smoked? No. Would you mind dating someone significantly shorter than you? I've said it before and I'll say it again: I have a significantly negative opinion of you if h e i g h t fucking matters to you. Can you quote the movie Mean Girls? All I know off the top of my head is I think "On Wednesdays, we wear pink" or something like that. Do you live in the state you were born in? Yeah. Do your parents smoke? Dad does. Do you know anyone who has a ton of real fur clothes? No; at least I fucking hope not. If Britney Spears came to your town, would you go see her concert? In the hypothetical case of it being free, sure thing. I wouldn't actually go out of my way buying tickets. Have you ever worn a pair of leather (fake or real) pants? No. If the last person you kissed asked you to marry them, what would you do? She wouldn't ask that anytime soon. I'd only be comfortable being engaged if we were settled somewhere and the relationship was in a perfectly healthy place. When you believe in the Easter Bunny, what did you think it looked like? I don't remember. What about the tooth fairy? I think I imagined something like Tinker Bell? Do you/did you have a religion class in school? No. If your best friend got cancer, would you shave your head with them? If she was truly self-conscious of it, I probably would. Name someone you know who is Buddhist. No one, I think. Does your mom wear makeup? Very little for only special occasions. Do you kiss your boyfriends/girlfriends in front of your parents? Yes. Have you ever spent Christmas alone? No, thank Christ. Have you ever spent your birthday alone? Not all day or anything. Does your favorite uncle have any children? I only know one of my uncles well enough to have a confident opinion on him, but anyway, yes. Has anyone ever kissed you when you were so not expecting it? Possibly? Was it a good surprise kiss? Or bad? See above; I'm not sure if I was ever totally taken by surprise. Name all the members (first, middle and last names) from your favorite band. Man, I used to know this shit 100%, but I only know now Ozzy himself. Do you still have any Pokemon cards? I don't believe so. What would you do if your favorite artist came to town but your parents wouldn’t let you go? i'm???????? about to be 23????????? Do you know anyone who refuses to swear? Probably. Not anybody I know well. Have you ever heard a young child swear? Yes. Have you ever heard your grandparents swear? My grandma, yeah. But she does so seldom. What do you see when you turn your head to the right? My closet. The creepiest, most disgusting insect in the world is: Hissing cockroaches omfg no. What is your opinion on sex without emotional commitment? No. Where’s the best place to eat a romantic dinner? Olive Garden is the answer to everything. What will you dress up as for Halloween? Idk, but I reeeaaally wanna do something this year. Have you ever been in a lighthouse? No. Do you ever make your own surveys? Not exactly; I only combine them and usually delete the "no shit," boring, overused, or incredibly specific questions, like, "does the # 79 mean anything to you." What color is your shower? White. When is the last time you had a serious talk with someone? Yesterday about Bentley. I think Mom finally sees we need to get rid of him. How often do you take naps? Sometimes every day, every other, or just sporadically that week. I generally function better and am in a better mood with an afternoon nap. I know you don’t wanna talk about it, but when do you go back to school? Who the fuck even knows with my piece of shit past school. I was planning to this month. Do you find that you have a certain meal you eat every time you go to certain restaurants? In like... *every* restaurant. I don't want to order something I wind up hating. Have you ever had anything stolen from you? Maybe? When was the last time the power went out at your house and how long was it out for? Not too long ago I believe thanks to the wind. Just briefly. Ever had to get any stitches? Twice. How many times a year do you go out of state? Usually not even once a year, though now with Sara, it'll probably become a regular pattern of twice or so. About how many times during the night do you wake up from your sleep? Always, always, at least once. What kind of surveys do you wish there were more of? The deep, philosophical ones. When are you getting your next new phone? Ugh, probably not soon, though I need one desperately. Are you due for a haircut? No, got that done yesterday. Are you dealing with any health-related problems right now? Mental, we already know, but I've got some physical too currently. Do your parents like the music you listen to? Some of it, but I know Mom's not into the heavier stuff I like, and usually not the more indie stuff I'm into it. Do your parents approve of your beliefs? Dad, I don't think we agree on most, and Mom, she does some, while not others. She'd probably punch me if she learned I'm pro-choice now. Do you know anyone who’s racist? Very. What about a homophobe? Welcome to good 'ole North Carolina, my friend. What about a pedophile? They wouldn't be alive if I knew a pedophile. Who’s the most annoying person in your neighborhood? I dunno who, but there's one person on our street that has loud music playing almost constantly, even at night. You can't hear it indoors and it's not blaring outside, but I find it disrespectful to the few people who live here, especially at night. And mind you, the music sometimes isn't friendly to be playing where all of us can hear it. Name one of your psycho exes? No one. Why were they a psycho ex? N/A What’s the best revenge you ever got on someone? I don't see it as bitter "revenge" anymore, but it's chuckle-worthy every now and again to remember he broke up with me due to depression, and now I beat that shit and am working hard to stand on my own. How often do you shop at dollar stores? Only for candy for like, going to the movie theater. What’s your favorite part of a song? Usually riffs, choruses, or bridges... or guitar solos... lol idk it just depends on the song. I'd say maybe bridges the most. In school, do you/did you work better by yourself or in a group? BY MYSELF. When is the last time you ordered from a catalog? I personally never have. What’s the name of the gas station you last stopped at? Idr, it wasn't one we normally stop at 'cuz we were out of town. Is there a piece of jewelry that holds any sentimental value to you? Yeah. What was the first song you heard today? I think I listened to "Kreuzfeuer" by Powerwolf. What was the last video you watched on YouTube? Jonathan Young's cover of "Riot" by 3DG. Someone sign this man, please. Could you design an whole web page yourself? Ha, no. That stuff confuses the shit outta me. Have you ever cooked an entire dinner for your family? No. Who do you tend to get in fights with the most? My mom. Can you say today’s date in a different language? Took me a moment, but in German, yes. Does it bother you if the shower nozzle thing isn’t straight? Yes. Ours won't stay straight for anything. What is the reason you keep waking up every day? Do you have someone or something you particularly live for? Who or what is your inspiration? I want to build a future I'm proud of and enjoy each day more than ever. My history is my inspiration in the sense it's shown me what "low" truly can be and that I can climb out of that hole and to the top of the mountain one day. How would you spend your last night on earth? Would you be by yourself or with friends? Would you do something you never had the courage to do before? I'd want to be with all my loved ones that day, but just with Sara that night. I would tell her how much I love her through all words and actions I possibly could, and if that included something I hadn't had the courage for previously, yes. Do you honestly believe that your relationship (or a future relationship, if you don’t currently have one) will last until the end? How far would you be willing to go for that person? I genuinely think it will, very sincerely. I'd do a hell of a lot for her, but I'm smart enough now to know there has to be a limit. What do you think is the one thing about you that catches everyone’s attention? Are you naturally loud? Or do you make sure you have an eye-catching appearance? I'm very quiet. How would you show someone you loved them, without outright saying, “I love you?” How would you show it through actions? I mean, there's a whole lot you could do. I think the best way is just doing little things that show love. Go make that person their morning coffee, that kinda stuff. What would you do if someone cheated on you? Has that ever happened? Have you cheated on anyone? It's over; no; no. Are you outgoing or shy? I'm shy as hell. Who are you looking forward to seeing? Sara on the 4th. Are you easy to get along with? I think. What kind of people are you attracted to? The unorthodox but friendly ones. The "weirdos," so long it's not in a like, creepy way. People who are very open-minded. Do you still talk to your first crush? No. Do you like bubble baths? I don’t take baths. What are your bad habits? Procrastinating more than anything else, I peel my nails instead of trimming them oops, I weigh myself every single day, I jump to conclusions and catastrophize, I drink soda regularly, I'm very impulsive when incredibly upset, uh... HOW AM I BLANKING HERE ALREADY?????????????????? I have so many. Where would you like to travel? South Africa for the KMP, Tanzania for the Serengeti, Scotland, Japan, Germany, Canada would be cool... man, so many places. Favorite part of your daily routine? Mark video. What part of your body are you most uncomfortable with? My stomach. Do you wish your skin was lighter or darker? Idc. Have any of your ex’s told you they regret breaking up? No, but then again I've been the one broken up with only once. What do you say during awkward silences? Feel like puking and disappearing both. Have you done anything recently that you hope nobody finds out about? No. Ever won a competition? For what? Yeah. 4th/5th grade D.A.R.E. report, some online one for two rare Silent Hill: Revelation pieces, my clogging class when I was in high school won some high rank at a competition, and I believe I've won in one or two other writing things? Been suspended/expelled? For what? No. Been arrested? For what? No. Craving something? What? I have a mad craving for Hardee's chicken tenders, good Lord. Do you sleep with stuffed animals? A stuffed snake from Sara named Plum. :') How many stuffed animals do you think you have? I could not even TRY to guess. I was obsessed with stuffed animals as a kid (I even got teased now and again for occasionally bringing one to elementary school), and so many I have hold deep sentimental value. They're stored in bags in the attic. They're probably gonna end up going to my nieces and nephew, or by if some miraculous change of heart, I want kids. Favorite character from Mean Girls? I couldn't name a single one. Favorite character from Finding Nemo? Dory, always. I was obsessed. OBSESSED. With Dory. I'm not kidding when I say I wanted to change my real name to Dory. Now in adulthood, Gill is high on my list too, probably #2. In a fight with someone? No. Do you tan a lot? Never. Have you ever been on a horse? Yes. I want to legitimately ride one one day, not just at a carnival and such. Are you a vegetarian? I wish, but the juncture I was is over. I had to stop for nutrition's sake as well as easier weight loss. After you truly look into the process of killing the animal... it's nauseating, even with the "humane" methods, which are not exactly so. No, I do not shame meat-eaters; we're omnivores and our diet is designed to include meat. It's just I personally wish I wasn't participating in that process by consuming what has been killed so gruesomely. What goal are you aiming for this year? Improving my mental health further is #1. I at the very least want to make considerable progress on my anxiety. Are you currently reading any books at the moment? Not really. I'm like a few pages into The Fault In Our Stars, but I'm not reading it anywhere near regularly. Would you own a Siamese cat? The cat I have now appears to have Siamese heritage! I love the breed, so obviously yes. Have you ever had an ultimate adrenaline rush? Maybe? Idk. Do you like deviled eggs? I absolutely, positively loathe them. I hate yolk. What’s the farthest you’ve walked? Hm, I dunno. Maybe through Disney World as a kid or a trip to the zoo? What is your favorite horror movie? I like both The Blair Witch Projects. Have you ever seen a rooster? Yeah. When are you likely to hide your emotions? When I'm jealous, probably. Which is scarier: Dying of thirst or of starvation? I mean I don't know how either would feel, but probably thirst? I feel like it would be quicker. When you turn on the TV, what channel do you flip to? I don't watch TV. Have you ever tried to help someone quit smoking? I've told Dad especially and Chelsea I wish they'd quit, usually indirectly to avoid feeling mean or rude. I'm 99% convinced it's gonna be lung cancer that kills my dad, and Chels does it way too much, especially with her age. What was the last comment someone made on your music taste? Mom pointed out how I can jump to heavy metal to some random indie stuff in the blink of an eye. Have you ever had to talk anyone out of suicide? I've tried. One in particular was a very close online friend, but I'm pretty sure she went through with it. Who in your family do you act like the most? Mom, I guess? What was the last topic that you ranted about? RANTS WITH SARA ARE THE FUCKING BEST. Probably her, but idr what. Is there someone that makes you feel like you’re walking on eggshells? Not anymore. Have you ever been in a physical fight on school grounds? No. Have you written anything in a bathroom stall? What, if anything? No. Was there ever a time when you wished you’d never been born? Yup. Who is the most sensitive person that you know? Uh, me. Have you ever had a tooth (or teeth) pulled? No. You can have one famous person’s wardrobe; who do you choose, and why? Suzy Hanson is an i c o n. When was the last time you wrote someone a note? Oh idk. It may have been the end of '17 when I sent Jason that final/closure letter. Do you tell your parents before you go somewhere, or just leave? I tell Mom. What was the last thing you tried to get out of doing? Hm. I dunno. If someone makes fun of you, are you able to laugh it off? NOPE. HI AVPD I SEE YOU. When was the last time that you watched the sun come up? Not since that time my sis, her best friend, and I stayed up all night. We went on like two walks and went swimming; my mother woke up very confused lmao. Have you ever (purposely or accidentally) played with someone’s heart? Not to my recollection. Has anyone ever played with yours? I don't believe he did so deliberately as some game. When was the last time someone told you to turn your music down? During a car ride with my mom at some point. I always control the music and yeah, it's a bit too loud sometimes. Are you one to spend a lot of time in the bathroom? No. How many times a day, on average, do you look at the time? I dunno, frequently? It's not as if I'm ever away from the laptop long, and a clock's right there. Do you like the smell of cinnamon? Omg yes. Do you like frogs? Yeah! Are you afraid of dying? Not really. The older I've gotten the more I've become comfortable with it just being a part of life. I sure don't want death to come prematurely, but I still don't really worry about what's after death. I'm fearful of the process, but not it itself. Do you consider yourself politically intelligent? NO. I'm clueless. Hence why I'm neutral on a lot. Do you like pixie sticks? Ye. Do you like French toast? I would die for the perfect French toast probably. Are you good at doing math in your head? No; I can't do even simple math up there. Do you know a lot about history? Definitely not. Name a TV show that you absolutely can’t stand. Rooster Teeth was the first to come to mind. Do you look like your age? I guess. The past two times I've had alcohol at a restaurant I wasn't carded... though that makes me fear I look even older. x_x Do you feel confident in a bathing suit? Fuck no. Have you ever had a concussion? Once. Sucked major dick. Do you like hot tubs? For a little bit. Do you know anyone who is battling cancer? Not currently, at least I think. Have you ever donated money to a charity? Yeah. Do you like the color lime green? Sure. Do you wish you could change something about your hair? Can I dye it already please????? Have you ever gotten a makeover? No. Do you think the minions from Despicable Me are cute? They annoy the fuck outta me. Did you have a Gameboy as a child? Yes; still have it, actually. Have you ever auditioned for a talent competition? No. Do you like the Silent Hill movies? Seeing this question made me so happy asjfjfweowq. The first is good, though I had some complaints about the altering of the plot. I warmed up to it quite a bit with time, though; I was just biased towards the game, which I still do like more. The second is... objectively trash as a plot, all the hell over the place. I think the entire fandom agrees with that. The only things I really enjoyed about it were of course Red Pyramid/Pyramid Head and the carousel scene with Dark Alessa. Tell me something you’ve been made fun of for in the past. I'm always on some type of technology. I fucking hate it. Do you support war? I'm a pacifist. Guess. Do you send messages on Facebook a lot? Nope; if I do it's only ever to Girt, really. Do you use the word “hello” daily? No. Who’s the biggest hugger you know? Idk. Where did you get your worst scar from? I can't see it, but I'm assuming the one from my surgery. Do you like Coco Pebbles the cereal? I used to find them okay, but haven't had 'em in years. Do you stick your tongue out often in pictures? No. Honestly have you ever purchased something, wore it, and then returned it? Maybe? I don't think so, though... I'd feel too bad. At least me now would. Which one of your family members are you closest to? My mom. If chocolate was an illegal drug - would you be a drug addict? I assume you mean it became illegal just the way is/with no new risks to it? In that case, I wouldn't be an addict or go out of my way to get it, but if there was a piece of chocolate easily available to me, yeah, I'd eat it. Would you rather have name brand shoes or name brand clothes? Shoes, because they're obvs. gonna be of better quality and I care about walking comfortably more that "fancy" clothes. Which is worse: onion breath or garlic breath? Oh idk, both are. Ew. When was the last time you got a shot? When I was at the dentist a few months back and they had to fill a cavity, thus I had numbing shots. They had to give me way more than usual, though, which I thought was odd. I just wasn't getting numb enough until like, 6+ in. Are you proud of your parents? I'm very proud of how Dad has developed as a person, and I have immense respect for my mom for how she works her ASS off to keep her kids safe, healthy, and well-provided for. I could never do all she does. Do you say “soda” or “pop”? "Soda." Are you shy about singing in front of people? YES. Which is better: orange or grape soda? Orange; not a fan of grape soda. Who was the last person in your house who isn’t family? Good question.