#anyway this is the mood i've been in lately! 💙

[heymrspatel]

🎶✨music tag game✨ 🎶

i was tagged by my sweets @mikhailoisbaby @whatthebodygraspsnot @metalheadmickey @celestialmickey @sleepyfacetoughguy @gardenerian and @7x10mickey 💙

rules: say ten songs you like all by a different artist, then tag ten different people

i tried to go for a vibe here? was i successful? idk idk

nobody gets me - sza

se fue la luz - 070 shake

stereo driver - Q

crush - ethel cain

cayendo - frank ocean

teleport 2 me, jamie - wzrd

ne me quitte pas - orion sun

cold war - cautious clay

23rd street - christian kuria

archetype - omar apollo

weee i think i'm late? but i'll tag @gallawitchxx @iero @sunoficarus @mrsinistertype @tellmegoodbye @grumpymickmilk and @y0itsbri if you'd like to play, if not this is just a nose boop! 💙

[thyandrawrites]

sending an ask bc shy but oh my GOD

ive been following u for YEARS for ur bnha meta, continued to follow after u stopped bc I like ur blog regardless (I don't even READ blue lock but ur meta is so fun to read I just might), and GOD DAMN getting to read ur thoughts on the ending was SO VALIDATING

i dropped bnha forever ago for many reasons, mostly frustration with the narrative, but it feels good to have one of my fave meta writers talk about it 🥺❤️ im glad ur still alive and kicking (alive and writing???? alive and writing)

p.s. if by the time i catch up on dunmeshi u have a meta tag for it too, i'll MUNCH thru it like a starved creaturE omnomnomnom

I got you anon, I don't know how to strike up a conversation with people either 😂💙 and omg, what do you mean you've been here for years hdhdhjsj I'm so touched! Thank you for sticking with me all this time, despite the fact that in the past year in particular I've been jumping through fandoms and interests a lot!

I hope you have a good time if you ever end up reading blue lock! Full disclosure, I ended up dropping it a few weeks back. It dawned on me that I wasn't happy anymore with the writing and that it would never deliver what I wanted to see. I guess if there's one thing I can thank bnha for, it's teaching me how to recognize when a series is no longer for me. Sad, truly, especially coming right before the massive disappointment that was the ending of bnha. 😔 Idk what I'll do from here on. I'm still processing my feelings for bnha so I might keep consuming fanworks here for a bit. but dunmeshi lifted my mood a lot so I might come back to it after I'm done grieving for bnha's wasted potential I suppose 😂 I did intend to write some meta for it but I'm not too confident I'll ever get around to it. Coming late to a fandom makes me feel as though everything has already been said and analyzed (and also I'm scared of the Discourse I've already seen circulate dhhdjs I don't want to hop into another litigious fandom)

Anyway long ramble aside, thank you so much for reaching out! You made my day a little bit brighter in these trying times

[carlos-in-glasses]

Fic Rec Friday Fun

Thank you for the tag @irispurpurea @reyesstrand @rosedavid @strandnreyes @iboatedhere @chicgeekgirl89 @catanisspicy - you're all so fantastic and I need to catch up on the ones in your lists I haven't read yet! A treat for me 🥰

So wanted to get some hiatus rec lists going and encourage some self promo in my friends so how about sharing your top fics no matter how big or small - give us the links to your wonderful words with the Most hits/Most kudos/Most comments/Most bookmarks /Most words/Least words

For me the above means it would only be split between two fics and then a third for least words, so I'm going for the next-most for comments and bookmarks.

Most Hits: When Soulmates Swim - Sparks and splashes fly when TK and Carlos each take up swimming while they recover from workplace injuries. I'm going to go ahead and say this is probably the funniest fic I've written based on feedback! There's angst of course but also TK and Carlos bring out each other's fun side and I'm so happy with it because of that.

Most Kudos: Chasers - A 3x13 coda. While TK is alone with Cooper, Carlos is alone with his thoughts. Both recall times they’ve chased the next high, other men, or each other. When Carlos arrives home, TK still has something important to say – and it's something he didn’t tell Cooper. I'm amazed and so grateful for the love on this one-shot. I loved delving into their backstories and featuring Alex who, fun fact, is based on my ex-boyfriend lol. Not me mining my most painful memories and emotions for content! ANYWAY this Cooper is in my current WIP so he'll be back soon...! Also Carlos goes for a swim and it's where the idea for the gym pool in When Soulmates Swim originated.

Most Comments: The Heart Behind the Shield - Bad Call (2x08) meets Abandoned (4x04) when TK and Carlos attempt to understand what they’ve been through and realize certain old wounds are bleeding into the new. They have both been held captive, faced death, made it home. Secrets, moods, hot messes – they love each other more every day. And they both still need their parents. I'd wanted to write a 2x08 coda for ages but couldn't figure out my angle until 4x04 came along with such blessed parallels. Like Chasers this also goes into backstory and I'm really happy with how those parts came out. Also just want to say that this has a particular scene between Carlos and Gabriel, which I'm very glad I wrote given what happens in 4x17.

Most Bookmarks: The Ruins of Wonderland - A divergence/re-imagining of Carlos and TK getting back together after their breakup. The severe winter storm doesn’t happen as forecast and Austin receives a manageable snowfall – without TK plunging into a frozen lake. Nancy’s 126 hang goes ahead. TK attends, but so does Carlos… This wasn't the first story I wrote/posted, but it's the first idea for a Tarlos fic I had and I have such a soft-spot for it. Important features: bed-breaking sex, slipper socks and a giant pretzel.

Most Words: When Soulmates Swim - 53k. The next is The Heart Behind the Shield at 34.4k. My longest one-shot is Man to Man at 14.6k.

Least Words: The Light of Our Life - 2.4k. After an awkward conversation, Carlos buys TK a bearded dragon and fears it may be a parting gift (Coda for 4x12). I took a long lunchbreak, wrote this, and posted it the same day. I've never done that before or since, and I honestly don't understand what happened to me...

I'm a little late for this so apologies if you've already done it and I haven't seen, but if not and you want to share, I'm tagging: @cold-blooded-jelly-doughnut @heartstringsduet @paperstorm @goodways @bonheur-cafe @lightningboltreader @chaotictarlos @theghostofashton @bubblesandroses8 @noxsoulmate @freneticfloetry @taralaurel @never-blooms @ladytessa74 @lemonlyman-dotcom ❤️ 🧡 💛 💚 💙 💜

[copperbadge]

Hi Sam! If you're comfortable, I would definitely be interested in hearing about your upcoming experience with Adderall as an adult taking it for the first time. I'm 30 and will be inquiring about an ADHD diagnosis later this month, but Adderall scares me a little (probably unfounded, I've just never taken any kind of psych med or non-allergy daily med, and if I forget my allergy meds I just get a nasty headache and nothing more) and everyone I asked about their experience is under 25 and has been taking it for many years. I'm really interested to see how you feel while taking it, if you're willing to share 💙

I've had quite a few requests like this so I'm definitely going to keep talking about it when there's anything to talk about, under the Sam Has ADHD tag. :)

FWIW, this is my first experience with a drug like this, which affects brain chemistry -- the only other comparable experience I’ve had is weed, and I’ve never been an especially heavy user of that either. Never took antidepressants, mood stabilizers, sedatives, anything like that, so I’m in much the same position you are, although I have taken daily medication for other health issues before. 

10mg of Adderall, which is a pretty low dose, clearly had an effect, which is good; the recommendation was twice daily, five or six hours apart depending on how I feel, on an empty stomach, so I took it at 5am before breakfast and again at noon before lunch. I had...a real weird evening, because while I wasn't doing a ton more than usual I did end up somehow staying up until around 10pm, which for me is very late, without really noticing. So today I thought I'd try just a single dose that would see me through the majority of the workday, and took 10mg at 6:30am after having eaten breakfast at 4am.

It kicked in yesterday right at the half-hour mark after taking, but this morning after half an hour I thought perhaps not taking it on a totally empty stomach had fucked with my ability to absorb the dose.

But then around 7:15 I cleaned out my front hall closet.

That wasn't something I'd been planning on and did give me a very "opening sequence of The Salton Sea" moment (the movie opens, after a brief history of meth, in a party house where among other things two women on speed are frantically organizing a sock drawer). Still, it did need doing, and now there's space to install some boxes to keep my winter sweaters. Which means my reward this evening is a trip to Container Store. And also a puzzle I get to do which I found while cleaning out the closet.

I am clearly going to have to learn to aim my new ability to focus, since unless I make a deliberate decision I just appear to pick Something To Do and do it, but that's a calibration issue and I’m pretty sure I can master it as long as I remember it exists.

The sensation is a little odd because after about an hour I can definitely tell my brain is working differently. It's kind of like being high, there's that same sense of calm, but my thoughts feel clear instead of clouded the way THC affects them. And things just get easier, like I'll think "Oh, I need to throw out that empty shampoo bottle" and instead of pretending I'll remember to do it after the shower, I just reach into the shower and pick it up and throw it out. I have done so many dishes in the last 24 hours, you guys. And right on the dot, at five and a half hours after taking it, I could feel my brain whirr to a stop. 

Anyway it is rather validating to be reacting to a drug in the way I'm meant to, because I did get the distinct impression from the evaluation clinic that they felt my ADHD was too mild to require treatment. I don't actually feel high, or manic, or even really very different. I just do more stuff. Like someone tightened two or three screws in my brain and the gears no longer misalign as often. At least for five hours or so. :D

[choclateteez]

💤Waking Up 4*town💤

🧡Robaire🧡

Hes a morning person, so waking up early isnt the problem-it all depends on the hours he gets

If someone wakes him up with 8 hours in, hes chilling

"Hm? Oh, good morning! Yeah i was just about to get out of bed anyways"

But due to the busy schedule of the boy band, there will always be those 3 hours of sleep nights

He will not be in a good mood. Hed try not to direct it at the person who woke him up though

*mumbling* What do you want..mm? Its morning already? Ffs…get out, i'll be there in a sec..

Mindless staring at the wall before he actually gets ready

Needs his cup of coffee or else its over for anyone who decides to mess with him for the first few hours of the day

💙Aaron T💙

It doesn't matter if he got enough sleep or not, this man wants to wake up on his OWN accord

He gives a very dirty/rude looking face to the person who woke him up, out of habit

He will complain and wrestle (albeit tiredly) the waker, throw a weak insult here or there

"...this is why you got a 5 head. Leave me alone."

The negotiator

"If you allow me…like 20 more minutes, then I wont be late to practice for a month, yeah?"

He's the type to set up 6 alarms before the actual wake up time and STILL oversleep

"10 more-" "T, I've given you 30 extra minutes." "Then you can spare 10 more." "Z and Tae Young are eyeing your breakfast." "...fine."

Efficient tactics: coax with breakfast, or negotiation

🧡Tae Young🧡

Determination. If he wants sleep, he will fight for it

This man keeps an IRON. GRIP. On his blankets.

talks real slow and mixes up words, and it will take him a few seconds to process what someone is saying to him

Will try to use cuteness as a weapon to get more sleep (peeking over the covers, whining, cute faces)

"Arent i the youngest? I need my sleep🥺"

It works only depending on who wakes him up

Jesse takes none of it, though he still finds it adorable

When it doesn't work, he drops the act and gets frustrated

Hed just pull the covers and ignore you until you leave

"Tae please, we have to be early today" "..." "i know you can hear me." *snores* "aint no way this mf went back to sleep😐"

When it DOES work though, he does this little snuggle thing that makes it so worth it for the waker, its just so cute

He will be in a better mood if he does get those extra few minutes though

And for the love of God, please do not give him coffee. Not that he likes it- but just don't give it to him anyways.

💙Aaron Z💙

Youd better have taken boxing classes if you wake Z up

He wakes up like hes in the middle of a fight

Fists are flying, hes sitting up, legs scrambling

One minute you waking him up, the next minute YOU the one thats asleep😧

On the more chill days, he wakes up like he just came up from underwater

*GASSPP* 

Once he realizes hes been woken up, he'll slump over after the adrenaline crashes, and he lies back down to collect himself

Not many words need to be spoken, he gets the memo

Not that much of a morning person, but he will rarely complain

🧡Jesse🧡

If theres one thing Jesse takes seriously, its his sleep

He sleeps like a dead man, once hes gone, he is GONE

It would take the end of the world to actually get this man to become responsive

Pull his blankets, yell, scream, cry, he'll sleep through it all

Efficient tactics: lay on him. If you get him in an uncomfortable enough position for a long enough time, he'll HAVE to wake up. 

The group usually team works this one

T likes to stand on his bed and walk on it (the constant rising and dipping of the mattress annoys Jesse), Tae would roll all over him and stay there smushing and calling out to him until he responds.  Robaire's preferred method would be to blast some music, but only as a last resort. And Z, well he's just playing nice so Jesse can make him his favorite banana pancakes for breakfast🏃🏾

He often tries to sleep early so, this doesnt happen often

This mans voice is already kind of deep, but his sleepy voice????? WHEW!!!

Fangirls are lucky they dont hear his sleepy voice, or else their ovaries might explode🙄

[just-otter-thoughts]

Hello Friend!!!!

Sorry I haven't been super active lately; I've been doing a lot of life stuff. I'm doing pretty well, though.

❤️🧡💛💚💙💜

I wanted to tell you how amazing you are. You're a beautifully wonderful human and I'm so lucky to have met you. <333

❤️🧡💛💚💙💜

Anyway,

How are you, Love?

Hey Doveeeeeeee

No worries, my life has been happening too. I'm glad you're doing well and thank you!

I'm doing... okay. I was super duper depressed like two days ago but my mood switched so now I'm doing cool. It happens with bipolar, but means my meds are no longer effective and that I need to get them revised with my psych, which I will next month so yay

Other than that pretty static. Nothing of great significance has been happening, apart from, of course, the imminence of the ENEM. But I stopped worrying about that simply because there's nothing else I can do about it. And also I don't care much for college anymore, I think I'm just gonna go to college for music and not care what anyone thinks I should do.

But как дела (how are your affairs)? If you wanna share, of course.