#anyway totally subscribe to hunter gets adopted by darius & eber lives there too but i wrote this as earlier in their dynamic post canon

[drbtinglecannon]

Keston John describing Darius' orderly tendencies as "precision" was cute not just as a distinct word choice to describe it, but also Darius himself would absolutely refer to it like that

Like, imagine after Hunter moves in and in Hunter's own habits he immediately cleans dishes after using them, but at first (and maybe even intentionally after a while) it results in light-hearted bickering if something is put out of place.

--

The soft clinging of utensils jostling as the drawer opens is the only sound before --

"That's not where that goes, Bookworm," Darius calls from the living room.

Hunter rolls his eyes. The first few nights he found Darius' hyper attention to detail intimidating, now it's simply a mild annoyance. Even after all these weeks he still has no idea how Darius can tell if a single thing in his precious kitchen is placed in the wrong spot without even being present to witness it.

Living with Darius' neuroses has its benefits though.

Namely, he can be annoying back with only amusement as the end result.

Hunter pats Flapjack's head as a warning to not startle his companion, then throws a hand out to grab at a random cabinet door and toss it open as loudly as possible without damaging anything.

The following sigh brings a smirk to his face.

Hunter leans against the counter with his arms crossed as he waits the half minute for Darius to stroll around the corner into the kitchen. His guardian crosses his own arms and nods in Hunter's direction. "Is this how Mrs. Noceda kept her kitchen? Storing a ladle in the same cabinet as the mugs?"

"Yep," Hunter says with an exaggerated 'pop' at the end. He ignores the disagreeing trill next to his ear.

"How quaint," Darius drawls, then points to the swirling purple ceramic vase on the counter currently holding a few other large utensils. "The ladle goes there, exactly where you grabbed it from."

"Yeaaah, I was thinking it looks better in the cabinet."

"No."

"In fact, I think the entire kitchen could stand to be rearranged." Hunter pushes off the counter to look around fully, making a big show of hemming and hawing over specific details. "Such as, why are the knives in a block on the counter where anyone can reach them? I think they should go in the drawer thing under the oven. And all of the pots and pans should always be stacked on the stovetop, saves time from having to pull one out or put them away."

"Oh my Titan..."

"I also don't think there's a need to put glasses on one shelf and mugs on another, I mean they're all cups, what's the difference?"

Darius brings a hand to his temple. "Stop."

"Actually! Now that I think of it, why can't spoons, forks, and butter knives all be stacked in the same slots in the tray together? They don't need to be separated!"

Hunter finally turns to look at Darius and barely holds back from laughing at the utterly affronted expression he's met with.

"You're a heathen, get out of my kitchen."

"Eber would agree with me."

"Eber thinks piles of leaves and sticks make an adequate bed, his opinion on how my kitchen is arranged means nothing."

Hunter holds up his hands, careful not to jostle Flapjack too much in his excitement. "I'm just saying, maybe it's ok to put the ladle in the cabinet with the mugs."

"Get out," Darius points towards the stairs. "Go to your room and think about what you said."

"Oh no, not my room, where all my books and my scroll are!" Hunter clutches his chest with one hand and throws his other against his forehead. "Whatever will I do!"

"You'll stop trying to destroy my kitchen, that's what."

Hunter walks past Darius out of the kitchen and towards the staircase with Flapjack jumping from his shoulder to fly closely behind him. After a few steps, he leans down to yell, "I'm telling my team about your ridiculous neatfreak standards again!"

"It's called precision! I am being precise about how things are arranged in my home, like any rational person!"

"Uh-huh, sure!" Hunter calls out. He can hear the grumbling from downstairs all the way until he reaches his bedroom door, and only once he's closed the door behind him does he start laughing.