#anyway. kilmer is a great song go listen to it

[hitokiri-izou]

I'm worried now this is the new worst low of my life

[theartoflosingcarkeys]

Name Tags

The Art of Losing Car Keys

September 1

  Like shift workers on a conveyor belt assembly line of mass production, Kayla clocks in for her permeant shift work. I clock out like an onsite maintenance man at an apartment complex always on call, never paid for overtime. Always ready for the phone to ring like the sirens of mythology, luring him back to work though he lives at work and is prohibited to use the recreational novelties of community living( he never takes off his work clothing and the name on the shirt is a euphemism, Head Grounds Operator though we know secretly he is a janitor).   Jackson is a 24-hour business ran with tyranny and oppression with little positive feedback.  I think he smiled at me today and it felt amazing until I read infants cannot smile so I wrote a lengthy letter to ‘HR’ about the working conditions signed anonymous.   The rhetoric of propaganda makes Kayla look like one of those workers in a sweat shop (I noticed she wore a bandana to work this morning and it looked like Friedrich Nietzsche silhouette imprinted and the words “Fascism killed the machine” in italic sweat).  I clock in proverbially, and when I do, the boss lets me know in a discerning manner that he needs to be feed and at 3:34 am I say words that haunt me even as I write this journal.  I say this with baby spit decorating my shirt and baby powder in my hair, words as powerful as battery acid running through my veins, and I see the words in warm neon lights and the words are a euphemism to the tyrannical boss dictating our every move, and the words I utter for the first time in my life are “OMG”.  I feed Jackson, and I nod off while doing he makes squawk toyish peeps, and he whistles over the speakers for me to get back to work.  It seemed to me as if Kayla and I have begun to speak in bows and nods.  We speak in a zombie like language with nonverbal cues that have never been so clearly understood.  Jackson wakes up, Jackson falls asleep.  He wakes up to a new world, he falls asleep in familiar arms. Everything is already coming quickly for Jackson.  The way he takes in his surroundings, the way he seems to know Kayla and I in a deeper sense than the three

inches in front of his round face.  The way he trusts, the way he seems to know he belongs with us.  Even when River and Phoenix hold him is in a familiar manner.  The way the boys seem to look down at their baby brother in a way that connects them to something larger that the brevity of introductions.   As if taking in the world is also a reflection of the world in totality of understanding. I am tired and I have not clue what I meant by that last sentence but if it sounds insightful go with it and if it doesn’t, I blame it on the longs shifts and the lack of oxygen seeping to my brain.  I left the refrigerator door open since 239am.  

I go to the gym at 5:30am, Jacob my artist friend shows me his work, and his art is lovely.  I ask him the same question I have been asking everyone, “what if the world was according to you, anyway you like to see it, what would you hope for, if it could take place? What is hope to you? Why do we hope? Do any of us even matter?”

 A guy with muscles living on muscles and skin so tan it looks like Mikey Mantels hall of fame glove, lifts a thousand pounds in the air and looks at me and says, “I eat weights.” I hear from another gym member he is a pediatrician for a living.  Perhaps we are more than just the cars we drive, and the luggage we shuffle from experience to experience. Perhaps we are all more than one thing.   I imagine him with all those muscles living on muscles in a lab coat curling newborn babies.

I call Jackson, Phoenix. I call River, Jackson.  I call Jackson, River.  Phoenix that I accidently call River, limps with the non-injured leg. Moments later I catch him dancing to the song ‘Sunflower” his limp has dissipated.  I call Jackson, River.  I get the names all backwards, and we fall forward with our daily rituals.   We clean up the toy box and sweep the floors while listening to Bob Segar.   Phoenix calls Jackson, Michael Jackson.   By the end of the day I just call them all buddy. A generalization and euphemism for there a lot of you prowling around.  We listen to Kings of Leon, I read George Carlin and compile my own list of things I like, things I dislike.  THINGS I LIKE; WHEN SOMEONE TELLS ME, I LOOK LIKE VAL KILMER FROM WILLOW.  THINGS I DISLIKE; WHEN SOMEONE TELLS ME, I LOOK LIKE WILLOW FROM WILLOW.  THINGS I LIKE, A WOMAN THAT FISHES. THINGS I DISLIKE; THE EEKING NOISE I MAKE WHEN THE WOMAN THAT LIKES TO FISH ASKS ME TO BAIT THE HOOK. Worms have an odd texture and I always worry its my father reincarnated so I sit the fishing out and any chance of picking up the girl.  

We do a spring cleaning, Phoenix limps on the leg that he did not have the knee injury again, but he tells me that Michael Jackson injured him but not his brother Michael Jackson.  

We color together.  

Brittany watches as I talk to the boys and she thanks me for being present.  She tells me later I am their favorite person and that they missed me while I was gone.  She always strived to great lengths for me to have a relationship with River and Phoenix. She aides me on the gaps of time that I have missed or drank through.  She reminds me, she nudges my memories.  She colors in my paint by numbers sedated amnesia. She helps me to forgive myself for my absence.  Addiction is funny in that way; you are the most self-gratifying person alive, yet you hate yourself immensely.  You are an emotional cannibal eating everyone around you alive, and as they are all devoured, you think, why did everyone leave me?

The boys and I have a contest, to see which can stand on our heads the longest.  Phoenix wins but I call him River, and River tells me Phoenix cheated on the contest, so we chalk it up to a tie.  

I rock Jackson and sing to him to sleep.  I pack a gym back and remind myself that tomorrow I have a teacher’s conference at River’s school and that he needs a haircut for his first day of school.  I place my car keys on the bag, and I clock in for the evening shift so Kayla can rest a few hours.  

I think in life we are all looking for where we belong.  We are all searching endlessly for a door that leads to the space where we feel celebrated for who and what we are, and behind that door holds the gathering, dreaming, and hoping of others that love us.   I think we look so far out in the vague distance that we miss the very things right in front of us.  I know what I was seeking in booze and drugs was to feel apart of something, to belong, and then to not feel things when I felt I belonged nowhere.  Jackson takes in the world in awe and startlement while River and Phoenix accept their little brother with familiarity and a hope greater than introductions.  AS if we belonged together before we ever found the door that lead us to one another.    

And as if Doogie Howser went  on a 14-year drug binge hiatus and pick up where his journal last was written, I write about all the things around me.    

[wbwest]

New Post has been published on WilliamBruceWest.com

New Post has been published on http://www.williambrucewest.com/2017/05/26/west-week-ever-pop-culture-review-52617/

West Week Ever: Pop Culture In Review - 5/26/17

Here we are, on the verge of a 3-day weekend, which means nobody’s gonna read this thing. Still, “the show must go on”…

Well, the week was filled with spider news, as last Friday Sony announced that Tom Hardy will star in a Venom film. If you’re not “in the know”, Venom is a Spider-Man villain comprised of an alien symbiote suit and Peter Parker’s professional rival, Eddie Brock. Sadly, the film’s not meant to cross over with Spider-Man: Homecoming or any bit of Tom Holland’s portrayal. I’m starting to think Sony’s deal with Marvel Studios is actually a bad thing, as it seems like Spidey’s addition to the MCU is to the detriment of his expanded universe to which Sony still owns the rights. I don’t really care about a Venom without a Spider-Man. To add to that, yesterday, Sony announced a film starring Spider-Man supporting cast members Silver Sable and Black Cat, to be directed by Gina Prince-Bythewood (Love & Basketball). I really don’t think there’s much to say about these characters without the possibility of a Spider-Man cameo. I get where Sony’s coming from; they have all these characters, so they might as well do something with them. That said, earlier talks made it sound like they were building their own Spider-Man-centric film universe, but since the MCU deal went through, Spider-Man no longer seems to be part of the equation.

Meanwhile, the Licensing Expo was this week, and we got our first look at the poster for the animated Spider-Man movie, starring Miles Morales. Apparently it was created by a child. Maybe a Make-A-Wish kid? Seriously, that thing is terrible.

It wasn’t all bad Spider News, however, as we got the third trailer for Spider-Man: Homecoming. They’re basically giving away the movie at this point, but I’m still a guaranteed butt in a seat. A lot of people are having issues with it, but I kinda like that this is basically Iron Man 4. I really didn’t need a new Spider-Man, so throwing Tony Stark in there is a good way to get me interested. I mean, I liked Tobey Maguire. I liked Andrew Garfield. I’m sure I’ll like Holland, but I’m kinda tired of the Spider-Man revolving door. Now that he’s tied into the MCU, I hope the Holland casting sticks. Then again, we’ve had three Hulks already, so…

This poster, however, is horrendous, but endearingly so. I mean, it’s really bad Photoshop, but I still kinda like it. It’s busier than Times Square at rush hour, but I love it in all its ugliness. It looks like it should be airbrushed on a denim jacket at the mall.

Across the aisle, things aren’t going so well for the DC movie slate, either. First up, Doug Liman has dropped out of directing the Justice League Dark film due to his commitment to Lionsgate’s adaptation of the young adult series Chaos Walking. In case you didn’t know, Justice League Dark would focus on the more mystical DC Comics characters, like John Constantine, Zatanna, Deadman and others, battling supernatural threats – ya know, like the kind the Suicide Squad had no business fighting. I’ve got no interest in this, but that’s ’cause I don’t really like magic. If they manage to get Swamp Thing into the movie, though, I think it’ll increase its appeal. Right now, though, they’re just a bunch of magical nobodies coasting on the Justice League name which might not even hold any power if that movie fails this Fall.

In sadder news, Zack Snyder bowed out of Justice League post-production work to spend time with his family as they grieve the loss of his daughter, Autumn, to suicide. It was revealed that Joss Whedon was brought in to finish the film, which now has fans cautiously optimistic. Just last week, there were reports that there had been so many reshoots that the film was basically a different movie from what was originally shot. It’s possible, however, that these reshoots were part of Whedon’s plan. It’s really unfortunate what the Snyder family is going through, and it’s deplorable that some folks are making jokes about the situation.

In other movie news, it was revealed that Tom Cruise’s upcoming film, The Mummy, will kick off a Universal Monsters cinematic universe called Dark Universe. I bet they stayed up real late to think of that one! Anyway, Russell Crowe will portray Dr. Jekyll (who also appears in The Mummy), Javier Bardem will play Frankenstein’s monster, and Johnny Depp will play The Invisible Man. The next film in the franchise will be The Bride of Frankenstein, to be released on Valentine’s Day of 2019. Ya know what’s funny? DC’s Justice League Dark film was also going to be called Dark Universe. Somebody’s gonna have to lawyer up!

In TV news, it was reported that Hamilton scribe and star, Lin-Manuel Miranda, will voice Fenton Crackshell-Cabrera AKA Gizmoduck in the upcoming DuckTales reboot. Cabrera? Really? He’s even brown now to go along with the name change. I know some folks are gonna have an issue with this. Hell, I even kinda have an issue with it. But if they’re gonna inject some diversity into Duckburg, I guess I’d rather them do this than, say, Launchpad McQuack-Jenkins.

While we knew that Bobby Moynihan was leaving Saturday Night Live, just hours before the season finale it was revealed that Vanessa Bayer would also be leaving. Then, Monday morning, it was reported that Sasheer Zamata would also be leaving the show. I’m really gonna miss Vanessa, as she definitely grew on me. Her characters have this adorable aloofness to them that I’ve come to enjoy. She’s got a big future playing the best friend in romantic comedies ahead of her. Sasheer was simply underutilized. She was always in the background of sketches, or only had a line or two. I hear that she really shined in the writers room, coming up with sketches like Black Jeopardy. I feel like SNL will merely be a footnote on her resume, as she goes on to bigger things, like Noël Wells and Jenny Slate.

Last week, I had the pleasure of joining some of my favorite people on the Nerd Lunch podcast, where discussed some of the greatest pop culture deaths. Nobody was safe, from Santa Claus to Michael Knight! And I finally got to join my pal Vincent (@RobotsPJs) on a podcast, which has been years in the making. We had a great time, and I think you’ll have a great time listening to it, so check it out!

Song of the Week

This week, I’ve got “It Ain’t My Fault”, by Brothers Osborne. Not only are they local boys, but I love the fact that this song/video has layers. Read the title and then watch the video. They’re trying to tell us something – the same kind of thing that sank the Dixie Chicks all those years ago. My how times have changed!

Things You Might Have Missed This Week

Fresh off playing nurse Claire Temple in the Marvel Netflix shows, Rosario Dawson is in talks to play Dr. Cecilia Reyes in the X-Men spinoff film New Mutants. Just go to medical school already, Rosario!

Twin Peaks made its triumphant return for those of you who are fans. Based on the ratings, that’s not many of you…

The Get Down was canceled by Netflix after one season.

Chicago Justice was canceled by NBC after one season.

The Ben 10 reboot was renewed for a second season at Cartoon Network.

SpongeBob SquarePants was renewed for season 12 at Nickelodeon, taking it through its 20th anniversary.

Trial & Error was renewed for a second season at NBC.

The Black-ish spinoff, College-ish, received a 13-episode order on Freeform.

TruTV’s Impractical Jokers will enter national weekday strip syndication this Fall.

The bodies haven’t even gone cold and they’re already announcing a reboot of the Resident Evil franchise, this time produced by James Wan (Saw).

Tom Holland has been cast as young Nathan Drake in the film adaptation of the Uncharted video game.

In the realm of musical sequels that no one asked for, Mamma Mia: Here We Go Again! will be released July 20th, 2018.

Elizabeth Banks is producing a Charlie’s Angels reboot, scheduled to be released June 7th, 2019.

Tom Cruise announced that a Top Gun sequel is planned to begin filming next year. Fat Val Kilmer is waiting by the phone.

TJ Miller is leaving HBO’s Silicon Valley at the end of the season.

Surprising no one who’s been paying attention, Power Rangers continues the trend of just adding “Super” to the title of its latest incarnation’s second season with Power Rangers Super Ninja Steel

The Boss Baby 2 is a-coming, March 26th, 2021.

Sophia Bush is leaving Chicago P.D. after last night’s season finale

In the UK, there’s an annual event called Red Nose Day, where they’ve been raising money to end child poverty for nearly 30 years. Launched by the nonprofit Comic Relief, the event has since raised over $1 billion globally. The event came to the US in 2015, where you can buy a red nose at Walgreens for a dollar, with the proceeds going to the charity. One of the co-founders of Comic Relief happens to be Richard Curtis – writer and director of one of my favorite movies, Love Actually. Now, a lot of people hate the film because it gave way to Garry Marshall imitations like Valentine’s Day and New Years Eve. You know, those schlocky romantic comedies with an ensemble cast where all the storylines converge at some point. I don’t care, ’cause I happened to like those movies, too, but I especially like Love Actually.

Well, to celebrate this year’s Red Nose Day, Curtis reunited most of the cast of Love Actually to give us a 15-minute sequel to the film, called Red Nose Day Actually. We get to catch up on the characters 13 years later, and I have to say that I was smiling the entire time. It was great seeing those characters again, from Bill Nighy’s Billy Mack to Hugh Grant’s Prime Minister. I could’ve done without Rowan Atkinson’s meticulous shopkeeper, but it was even sorta nice seeing him again, too. You feel old as shit, though, when you see little Sam, who’s now 26 years old. I think his segment made me the happiest of all. Or maybe it was seeing Jamie and Aurelia and their kids. Or maybe it was seeing Martine McCutcheon again (why doesn’t she get more work stateside?!). I don’t know. I loved the whole damn thing.

The special originally aired in the UK in March for their Red Nose Day, but they’ve gone to great pains to keep it off the internet. Yesterday was the US’s Red Nose Day, and a new version of the short aired last night on NBC. Ya know, they should really have everyone celebrate on the same day worldwide, but what do I know? Anyway, I actually missed the NBC version because of things, but I was intrepid enough to find the UK version online. This morning, however, NBC posted it on their website so I was able to compare and contrast. The only real difference is that the UK version cut out the Laura Linney update, with Patrick Dempsey as her husband. It was a nice aside, but I guess British audiences don’t know who Dempsey is, so they didn’t miss out on much. Anyway, I wish more movies would give us short reunion updates, maybe on anniversary edition Blu Rays or something. It was nice to get just a taste of what everyone’s been up to, without them being burdened by a full film that would be more than likely fall short of the original. If you’ll excuse me, I’m gonna go watch this thing a few more times, but it’s safe to say that Red Nose Day Actually had the West Week Ever.