#anyway. my own translations / i fully pay for his pms nobody make fun of me etc.

[lunetual]

I’ve been so happy, and I found my reason for becoming a singer again. 행복했고 가수하는 이유를 또 다시 찾았습니다 KIHYUN on Universe PMs

[ellalovesjoonie]

Head over heels

Namjoon x Reader

Summary:

"You are tired of routine, everyday wake up, get ready, go to the work you hate at the hotel, go back home, sleep.

Music, your only escape... That music that takes you to places you wish you were, that made you feel like that void in you was slightly filled with something else than your self hatred, your salvation.

But, that day, life was going to surprise you with the unimaginable."

Warnings: +18, self derogatory behavior, Smut, explicit, rough language, Angst, role play Sub/Dom.

[OK, so, this is my first ever fanfic of bts, please bear with me, also, english is not my main language so if you find any typos or errors in grammar I apologize TT_TT I hope you like it!]

Chapter 1

-That is not a part of my contract - You argued with the hotel's manager in a tired manner. He was always making you do extra stuff, extra hours, extra anything, sometimes you felt like he feed on your misery.

- I know, but this is a very special occasion, this hotel has never hosted such important guests and we need to make a good impression -The manager retorted with a smirk on his face, he was so proud of his accomplishment of renting an entire floor of the hotel to the staff of an important company nobody knew about that he was forgetting that everyone had a job description, he was being more of a pain in the ass than usual and the staff was more than fed up with him.

Your normal job consisted in managing the maids and cooks and recieving orders from rooms and sending over whatever or whoever was needed, but more often than you would have liked, you have ended up going yourself to deliver room service and even to help some maids with the rooms where parties were held, the joy of a hotel for others was that others get to clean up your mess, not so fun when you were the one having to clean after.

You had studied for 4 years, management and languages, you could speak several of them and your dream job as a translator or interpreter of some major firm was now buried with all of your dreams of possible happines, you have ended up failing to get your dream job and getting stucked in a crappy one that even if it payed well, it didn't make you hate it less.

Tired of complaining in vain you gave up an headed to work. With all the commotion you were forced to go room by room after the maids ended the cleaning to supervise and put flowers, fill mini bars and make sure everything necessary was there for the guests.

That day you were feeling particularly miserable, your headphones changed song while you were fixing some flowers and it was as if they were answering your call, you smilled when the swift notes of Cypher pt 3 filled your ears and you started to sing along, how free that made you feel, the amazing fast paced rap rolled in your tongue with incredible easiness, you were so familiar with the lyrics that you could have singed no matter how fast it went.

It was still amazing for you how good a song could make you feel, you were lost in the sound, not paying much attention to the manual work you were doing and even less attention to the fact that the guest of the room you were working on had arrived and was watching you from the door with amusement.

Namjoon and the rest of BTS were in England recording a Von Voyage, so it had been a secret were they were going and they even chose a smaller hotel than usual in a small city and gave a fake name to be able to remain as anonymous as possible, he had entered his room and was sorprised to listen to his own song being sang smoothly by a female voice, he saw a ponytail of long hair swinging as you moved, he assumed since he couldn't listen, in rhythm to the beat, you weren't tall, 5"3 at the most but you were slim and curvaceous and looked really young in his eyes, he just stood there not knowing why he was stucked looking at you like that, something about the way you were singing was enticing, it called to him, what was it? He felt lost for a moment, only your movements and voice were important, the soft sweep of your hips kept him in trance and when you bent over to fill the minibar the breath got stucked in his lungs, he had never felt the inappropriate urge of grabbing the ass of a girl he didn't know, his hands twitched at his sides but he didn't moved.

You turned once the minibar was filled and noticed the man standing on the door -Shit - You muttered, taking off your earphones and bowing slightly in the direction of the stranger, not even looking properly at him you mutter and apology -I'm so sorry, sir, we weren't expecting you yet, welcome - You said smoothly, in a rehearsed manner, as always, you plastered your fake smile on your lips before lifting your head but when you gave the stranger a proper look, the air got stucked in your chest, your eyes enlarged in recognition and you blushed furiosly... Of all the people in the entire world why did Kim Namjoon had to listen to you butchering his song?

You knew better than to act like a stupid fangirl (You weren't that kind of girl anyway) but you had humiliated yourself in front of your freaking idol, so you had only one possible course of action.

-I hope your staying with us is pleasant - You said with a straight voice, or as straight as possible and rushed past him before he could utter a word, running away far of him, as fast as you could and you didn't stop or looked back until you were in the safety of the employee's bathroom in the first floor, your heart was pumping furiosly and words of self hatred filled your hair- You stupid bitch, how could you ridiculize yourself like that? In front of him? In front of the man you admire the most? He must be laughing at you, he must... He... - You started to feel dizzy, you slid into the floor against the door and put your head between your hands, clenching your nails in your scalp in an attemp of causing outside pain to get out of the spiral of self hatred in your head, you weren't one to self injure yourself, you couldn't even stan blood or cuts, but here and then you founded that some fisical pain was better than the self hatred and it worked to bring you back to reality, you did your best to gain back your breath and empty your head, that process took you some solid 10 minutes, but you were able to stand up. You fixed your appearance and went straight to the manager's office -Everything is done and the guests are in their rooms -You announced.

-Perfect! -The bright smile in his face seemed disgusting to you, he was more than thrilled to have the biggest band in the world staying at the hotel- Now you go home -He said to your utter surprise, but before you could get your hopes up he continued- I need you back here at 8 pm, you are up for the night shift since I can't let the hotel in charge of anyone else with such important guests here, when you come back I'll give you a list of things to do, now go to sleep, you will need it.

You just looked at him, turned around and left, now you had to spend the night with your idols and the man you had ridiculize yourself in front off... Great, just great.

Kim Namjoon had had a shock too, he felt confused and embarrassed but above all he wanted to see you again, everytime he remembered the way you moved, his big hands twitched, he had broken his headphones that were unlucky enough to be in his hand when one of those twitches came, everyone had been laughing at the "God of destruction" for his even clumsier behavior that day. After everyone settled in their rooms they went to have lunch at the hotel's restaurant that had prepared a buffet for them, they had a translator with them which made things easier, his head was in no place to translate, he kept looking at the people entering and leaving the room in hopes of seeing you again, to do what?, he had no idea, maybe to apologize for embarassing you, to ask why you had run, to praise you for your smooth rapping, to hold you flat against his body... No. He shocked his head and flushed slightly at such thoughts, he didn't know you, you weren't some cheap whore hired to pleasure him when he had wanted. With his busy lifestyle those were the only "romantic" encounters he could have and he had had one tracked mind since their debut anyway, writing, learning, growing as a group and as a person, he never missed the relationship he was "deprived" of because of his idol status, his sexual urges could be satisfied when he wanted and he didn't care much for the rest, success was his goal, lately, to help others, the love yourself movement have been one of his most important achievements and he was fully committed to make the world a better place. It took a girl on a small city at the other side of the world to suddenly remind him that he had never had an encounter or relationship of any kind with a "Normal girl", the way he was lusting for you was almost too much, he thought of asking discretely for a escort or something but he had stopped several times, he didn't want an escort, he wanted you.

That day they were free to explore but he couldn't bring himself to go out with his mind in the state it was and maybe he had hopes of seeing you sometime during the day if he was being honest, he didn't really know, he just said that he was tired because of the long trip and rathered stay and sleep for a bit, Yoongi too had decided to stay, he knew he really wanted to sleep, walking around wasn't one of his favorite activities.

You were getting ready for your night turn at the hotel, your stomach tight with dread and maybe some excitement that your favorite band was in the building were you worked, if only Namjoon hadn't seen you embarassing yourself... You banished that sorth of thought for the hundred time that day, it was easy for you to imagine how he would have told the story to the others and laughed some more so you had to keep your act together, you had to work, maybe you wouldn't even see them, it was the night turn after all. You dressed with a black dress, the top similar to a shirt with buttons but at the waist a flowy skirt started and ended a few inches above your knee, you did black sandals with straps till your ankles and your required ponytail. You weren't dressing up because you liked it, but because the night shift required it from you, it was mandatory to attend dinner time in a semi formal dress, you looked in the mirror with disgust only to make sure that your hair was perfectly tied back, you hated to look in any mirror and see yourself for the disgusting creature you were.

You left your flat with a sight and went straight to the taxi you had ordered to take you to work, trying not to think much about what was to come -You better not mess this up even more with your stupidity - You told yourself while trying to breathe in regular intervals to cast your nervousness aside.

Namjoon had tried to rest in vain during the afternoon, he slept shortly but with troubled dreams, he woke up because of the hard bulge on his pants, he was 12 again. Sighting he went to the bathroom and took a cold shower to calm his body and changed clothes for dinner, he had been told they had to be in the dinning room of the hotel at 8:30, but restless as he was he just went there at 8:00, maybe he would order a drink or something, he was grateful that the cameras had gone with the others and he was left in peace, the last thing he needed was the crew to ask again what was wrong with him. He went down to the lobby and straight into the private area the hotel had prepared for them, it was empty but everything was more or less prepared for their dinner, he sat on a couch near a window waiting for someone to ask a drink to come in and when the door opened he wasn't disappointed, you, at last, his breath catched again while studying your outfit, a dress, he could see your legs in display even thought the skirt was by no means short, it was enough for him, it was as if you were teasing him by wearing such sandals that closed just at your ankles, calling for his eyes to enjoy the sight of the smooth skin of that part of the body that he founded incredibly erotic, your top was buttoned but left a nice cleavage look at sight. Definitely, you were a sight for sore eyes and he couldn't help himself, he stood and walked towards you, more like gravitated towards you, there was no discussion about stopping now.

You had entered the dinning room to check that everything was in place, closing the door behind you, you took two steps into the room when you saw him and your face blushed, your stomach tightened, all your preparation was now gone as you watched in panic how Kim Namjoon walked towards you, you swallowed trying to regain your composture, your eyes fixed on the floor until you noticed he was standing really close to you, your nose was suddenly filled with his musky, woody scent and you wanted nothing more than to look at him and thank him for everything he had done for you, but you were frozen in place, he was so close...

Namjoon only stopped when he was close enough to get your scent, something he had wanted all day, you smelled sweet, as he had imagined, a little flowery but sweet, he noticed just then he was a bit too close but he couldn't care, he just wanted to do unspeakable things to you, he couldn't, but he would talk to you.

-Hi -He said as a way to break the ice and made you look at him, he noticed how your eyes were casted on the floor and he wanted for you to look at him- Hi... I mean, good evening, I hope you are having a pleasant staying at our hotel- That was the best you could say, you didn't dare to look up at him, he was so tall... You remembered his height of course, but having him standing in front of you didn't made it justice to any picture or tv shot you had seen, you picked just a little bit between your lashes to see he was wearing gray jeans and a white buttoned shirt, you nearly jumped when he bended to have his face at the same height than yours- It has been great, you were in my room earlier, I wanted to excuse myself for making you uncomfortable -You were not looking at him but he would make you, when he bended he was even a little closer to you, he could see your flushed cheeks and the narrowness of her breath which did little for his already sexualized thoughts- You shouldn't apologize, it was me who was stupid and embarrassed myself, I'm sorry -You said in a rush not measuring your words, you lifted your eyes in panic when you noticed what you have said and you saw his face and the frown between his eyebrows, he was unreal, so beautiful you could have cried but you have spilled too much again.

-Why would you say that? -Namjoon found himself mad at you for the harsh words you had casted upon yourself- I was surprised in the best way when I heard you, I have never heard that song with a female voice and the intent it has, you were perfect -He found himself scolding you but telling you the absolute truth, your eyes were on his now, big eyes with long lashes that fluttered at his words, your expression was of absolute incredulity but he was glued to your eyes- You don't have to say that... I... -You muttered, taken aback with his compliment, your self hatred already eating you inside- You think I'm lying? -Namjoon arched a brow annoyed that you would think that- No, that is not what I meant, I... I just... -You stumbled trying to come up with an excuse, your face blushing even more- What did you mean, then? - The tall man in front of you radiated heat, he was mad, if course, you always made people mad at you by being so stupid, but the truth, invisible to you, was that the heat you felt was his raw desire for you- I'm sorry, I... -You tried again but his presence was too strong and you were finding hard to articulate any more words, you lowered your eyes again but his hand flew to hold your chin and make you look up, your breath catched, fuck, why was he touching you? He shouldn't, he was too beautiful to taint himself with someone like you- You are... -Namjoon muttered but he didn't finish, touching you was barely too much, he lost his train of thought noticing how your face was holded in perfect place by his hand, you couldn't lower your eyes anymore, you couldn't run from him anymore, he was in control, he could even... He leaned down till his mouth was an inch away from yours and he breathed in your breath, sweet, sweet, sweet... His mind was lost, he tightened the grip in your chin and pressed his lips against yours, you gasped, breathing in his scent and he obviously took the chance to seek your tongue with his, your mind left you, you were having an out of body experience, his lips molded hungrily against yours, tasting every inch of your mouth, you responded naturally but not daring too much. He couldn't stop himself, your taste was what he wanted, his right hand janked your ponytail back to have your mouth at his mercy while his left hand ran across your back, stopping in your hip and pressing his fingers there to push you against himself where you could feel his excitement throw his pants right in your hip, he was barely breathing, intoxicated, he only stopped when you both listened to voices outside the room, you inmediately took a step back, disbelief clouding your mind and stepping on every other happy thoughts or desires there, your lips were swollen and your ponytail a bit undone, your breathing harsh, as if you had ran a large distance but you knew you had to get out of there so you turned and bolted to the door, leaving just as everyone else was entering, all 6 of your favorite artists in the world walked passed you and you didn't have a glance to spare, your mind was filled with him, you walked quickly, and instructed the staff to go offer appetizers and drinks as you walked straight to the staff's bathroom and closed the door behind you- Fuck...