#anyway. ughhhhhh so many things happening etc

[kimmkitsuragi]

help me my mom is shipping me with some random chinese man whom i helped buying tickets

[idealisticrealism]

TCL 3x11 thoughts

Very delayed bc life is hectic and it's the hiatus anyway. 3x12 to follow at some point lol

The main things: 

The Thony & Nadia of this ep was everything. Nadia being initially furious with Thony about taking the choice out of her hands with faking her death, but then realising that not only would she be 100% dead if Thony hadn’t done it, but Thony had also risked her own life to help her. Thony’s reaction to Jorge saying that she and Nadia were close, recognising the truth in it. Thony arguing on Nadia’s behalf when Jeremy goes back on his deal. Nadia turning to Thony for help getting the cash, and being genuinely appreciative of Thony for doing it. Thony and the family hiding Nadia from Ramona. Nadia being devastated over the marked cash, and Thony helping yet again by getting the stash from the motel. Nadia desperately pleading with her to bring Jorge in, and Thony refusing because she’s still trying to protect all of them, Nadia included. Nadia thanking Thony and Fi with the jewellery from Kamdar and telling them how much their help meant to her. Thony driving Nadia all the way out into the desert, being the last link to her old life, the one to literally deliver her to freedom…. and then the whole “I can’t believe all we’ve been though”/“I’m glad you’re free”/“I hope one day you can be free too, Thony”, and the way Thony is the one to reach for her and then they just hold on to one another so tight?? They really have been through so much together, and they care so much about one another. The love they both had for Arman was initially the thing that stood between them, but now it’s what links them, and in some ways part of that love has transferred to each other since his loss. Despite everything, they are truly family to each other now, which is what makes everything that happens next even more heartbreaking, bc of course the writers just couldn’t let my baby Nadia be free :,(

Ugh and when Ramona appears and accuses Nadia of stabbing her in the back, Thony completely freezes, but Nadia doesn’t panic or fall apart or beg– she could have tried to save herself by telling Ramona about Thony and Jeremy, but she doesn’t. She protects Thony like Thony protected her, and faces her fate with her head held high and her usual cutting snarkiness, and I love her so much for it, even as my heart breaks for both her and Thony. When Ramona stabs Nadia, you can see the utter shock and horror on Thony’s face, and then ugh I’ll never be over the way she just completely disregards Ramona and the threat to her own life to stay by Nadia’s side as she dies, telling her she’s here with her, screaming her name as she’s dragged away…Thony fought so hard to save Nadia, to do for her what she hadn’t been able to do for Arman, and yet she still failed, still lost her like she’s lost so many people she’s cared about in even just the past few months. And okay yes we had some warning, bc this ep was full of painful foreshadowing about it– “I don’t think anyone can make Nadia Morales disappear” “My whole life can’t be for nothing” etc– but ughhhhhh my creys. Honestly them killing Nadia off was just so fucking heartbreaking, because it didn’t need to happen! Losing Arman was of course so incredibly awful, but there was literally no choice there, so that made it just the tiniest bit easier to bear. Killing Nadia, though… I can see the narrative value of it, how having Ramona’s inability to just let her go be the very thing that later brings Ramona down, and how through that Nadia gets the ultimate revenge on her… (“Please, Thony. Get her for us. For Arman”) but stiiiilllll. The writers could have absolutely found another way for Thony and Jorge to bring Ramona down while still letting Nadia escape with her life– death is not the only way to write out a character!. But then again, I guess this show has always been about the price that comes with going to whatever lengths necessary to protect one person (and also the consequences of getting in over your head in a world you don’t understand), so Nadia apparently had to become yet another hard lesson for Thony to learn… I just wish that the writers could have stopped at Marco and Maya for that lesson, rather than taking Garrett, Arman, and Nadia from us too. Sighhhh. 

But ugh I really did love elements of this ep… Nadia and Fi becoming instant besties was so important to me ugh. And Nadia getting to be hugged by Fi, who was yet another person who genuinely wished her well and cared what happened to her, like Thony? She deserved that. And I’m so glad those guys finally got to act together, even if it felt like an even sadder goodbye after that

Honestly, Nadia and Thony and Fi just being SO done with Jeremy was a highlight in this ep lol. Thony referring to him as ‘a stupid undercover’ right in front of him. Jeremy offering for Nadia to move to Utah or Oregon and asking where she would rather be, and her responding “Dead. But for real.” (As someone who has been to every US state, that one definitely got a loud laugh lol). Fi’s rant at Jeremy was also amazing, and lol Thony “She had a few things to say, I didn’t want to interrupt” hahahahaaa. Honestly Jeremy sucks so bad and I want him gone like immediately, but at least his presence this season has meant some excellent opportunities for hilarious snarkiness from these women. I also felt very satisfied about how grumpy he was for most of the ep because he views himself as the good guy and yet these women clearly see him as the villain, and plus he kept getting the feeling he was being played but still wasn’t able to catch them at it. Getting outsmarted by these civilians again hey buddy? That’s a little embarrassing for you lol

I have been wanting Luca and Violeta to be friends since we first saw her, and I love that they immediately started happily playing together, but omg their hide and seek game was so goddamn stressful. Thony’s panic was so palpable I could hardly watch ughhhhhh 

Ugh Thony telling Fi about how she almost let Ramona die… that acknowledgment of the darkness that she’s learned she’s capable of… her needing the FBI to lock Ramona up because if they don’t, she’s afraid that next time she gets the chance to make Ramona pay with her life, she’ll take it…. I just love seeing her growing and changing as a character, and I love that her experiences through the seasons have made her understand Arman more and more. They were similar in a lot of ways, and understood each other to such a deep level, and ugh it was such a gift to watch *sobs*

Jorge tells Ramona that his partnership with Nadia “wasn’t like that” (aka had no romantic element), and tbh I believe him? He saw in her someone whose ambition and drive matched his own, and who had the skills and assets to help build his dream. He saw the opportunity she represented, and he also saw it as a chance to look out for one of the women his nephew loved, just like he looks out for Thony (honestly I think he intended to bring Thony in on the hotel development as well, which is why he deliberately got her to come to his office while the investor guy was there discussing the plans). And idk man, maybe this is just the Ace in me talking, but just because two people are attractive and get along well and find support in each other does not automatically mean they wanna hook up!?? I know TV show writers do often tend to go for the romantic/sexual angle when they have two single characters of different genders interacting a lot, but that doesn’t mean they’re going to do that in every situation, especially when it wouldn’t make sense in the circumstances (like in this case!). Tbh Jorge and Nadia’s connection (and Jorge and Thony’s) is just as compelling without the romantic element– for people to care about each other and support each other without it being tied to their desire for sex? That’s special and interesting in its own way. And who knows, maybe either of these two relationships would have had the potential to develop into something romantic in the future, but in the current moment it would make zero sense when both Nadia and Thony are brokenhearted and grieving the man they loved.  But anyway though, I gotta say I really appreciated Jorge for not hesitating to keep Nadia and Thony’s secret from Ramona, and for sending such a huge amount of money to help Nadia be free (how many people would have just let go of $40 million like that, when they could have kept it for themselves without any consequences??). Letting go of both Nadia and the money meant risking his hotel dream falling apart, but he did it anyway, and I respect him so much for that. 

Other stuff

Ugh Thony sitting in Jeremy’s lair, watching his video feeds of her family’s home… seeing all that must have felt like such a violation. No wonder she joins Fi in smashing the cameras after lol

Some of the scene choices in this ep were hilarious, like Nadia apparently going from arguing with Thony (at the end of last ep) to somehow passing out on the couch again lol. And then when she wakes (again) and they argue (again), Thony has her own little rant and then storms off… but just goes and sits on the couch in full view of the others? Like the writers could at least have had her go into the other room lol, which is what most people would do after an argument like that?

Oh man, the scene where Thony goes and gets the money out of the safe was so stressful, worrying if she was about to be caught any second... and it was also hard to see her in that office and remember all the moments she shared with Arman there. That space used to mean so much and now it must feel so empty ughhhhhh

Awww, Chris calling Paolo ‘Dad’, and then the very parental discussion where Paolo calls Chris out on the way he talks to Fi, just like a true dad would? I love that for them

Chris and Camila are so cute but damn the whole thing with them nearly getting caught by ICE was so damn stressful!!! This show has no consideration of my poor nerves lol

Was so happy to see the return of Samantha! I love that she is always down to help them screw over the FBI lol. A true ally 

Had the sudden realisation while watching this ep that the actor playing Jeremy also played Toby, Channing Tatum’s friend in the movie She’s The Man, and it honestly blew my mind. He was such a baby then!!!

[kitto-toberu-sa]

Digimon Stage Play - Part One

Sorry, my friend introduced me to Tiger and Bunny, which is why this was delayed ;;; This is everything up until curtain for half time, rest will be up within the next 12 hours, sorry!!! Aight, so tl;dr: great show, actors are perfect, Yamato is beautiful beyond belief, Mimi is UGHHHHHH in the good way and I’m bitter that the whole show isn’t sold out and whoever was in charge of promotion should be forced to eat nothing but the hottest of hot chillies for the rest of their life.

Venue/Goods: a little out of the way, small. You couldn’t buy goods unless you had a ticket, which sucks. Goods were sold on the inside, line was small pre-play, massive after. My store clerk couldn’t count to save her life. People were trading, everybody hated that everything was random and there were so many types of things. Friend and I ordered dvd – no blu ray option, it’s being released in December. Had to downpay 2000 yen, which this and dvd only option has never happened before when I’ve seen other stage shows – not a good sign. No postal option, so my friend has to pick mine up for me – poor form again. (Pick up is only at animate – my nearest one is 2+ hours away :/)

Promotion/sold out: four shows sold out. Tickets reduced to 7000 yen, which is insulting for us who went through lottery. They advertised low prices at fes too. Promotion was done badly. Digimon isn’t massively popular, but Toei isn’t small either. Get a cast twitter, post rehearsal pics etc. Promotion doesn’t need to be costly. Fes advertisement (last weeks vid) was too little too late. Theres events with Miyazaki and AiM and seiyuus, which also seems last minute and an attempt to sell out. Again insulting to those of us to preordered. Shonichi didn’t sell out. Must be tough on actors. Promotion video (August 5th? 6th?) is kinda bad quality – the stage itself looks and sounds better than the video may lead you to believe.

Seating: nice, comfy. We were second row, left hand side, aisle. If we had been one or two more to the left it would have been really bad (same if you’re too overly right). The cast faces back/sideways too often, so we saw a lot of backs. Need to work on being diagonal, basic stage stuff there. However, pros of our seating were: Yamato being right in front of us when he sang, Jyou fishing in front of us and making eye contact with Etemon to the point where it was creepy lmao

Play Y’all. Y’ALL. THIS IS THE GOOD SHIT. A+ A+ A+ A+!!!!!! Agumon is twitchy in the start, scene is a little long. He’s basically like ‘my body can’t move/is moving on it’s own???? Wat? Why???’ (both happen, not a bad translation on my part). He wakes up and Gabumon’s like ‘yeah me too’ and some of the other Digimon agree but Palmon’s like ‘yeah same but it’s because I’m not a morning person lmao’.

They all go to where the kids are. So this is set sometime after Koushirou makes the cyber space for them. Mimi and Koushirou talk about camping and Mimi ends up throwing his laptop on the FLOOR. Koushirou looks heartbroken and the entire audience was ?!?!? but sasuga Mimi and Koushirou’s like … well, moving on. Mimi is perfect beyond belief. Right voice, face, mannerisms. I know that’s what acting is, but she NAILED IT. She’s all like ‘camping is about feeling the breeze~’ then acts like she has wind her face, ‘about being hot’ (ahhhh, it’s hoooooot, she says), about monsters! (she says as she stalks towards the Digimon). We then get the scene where Sora talks about the importance of August 1st. While she speaks, on the left and right sides we see actual scenes from the original anime, which is really touching. Sora mentions that although there were good times, there were bad ones too (CUE GIF OF LEOMON DYING BECAUSE THEY HAD TO HAVE IT SOMEWHERE) All the mons wanna go camping which obviously, is cool.

Hikari invites Taichi and they talk. Jyou calls Hikari but Taichi answers and Jyou doesn’t realise. ‘Damn that Taichi, he isn’t coming? Leave it to me!’ Eventually Taichi is like ‘it me moron’ and Jyou convinces him to come after Taichi’s like ‘I BET UR NOT COMING’ because Jyou, as always, has exams. Jyou is a smart ass? He’s like ‘Taichi, next year, you’ll be in my position. And if it’s you… well… you’ll be in trouble.’ SUCH A GOOD SCENE JYOU IS MVP IN THIS PLAY Y’ALL. He gets his creep on here and it’s so funny.

Next is Knife of Day. Yamato sung and you could tell he was nervous but he did really well. Yamato talks technical stuff (music wise) and then he high fives and fist bumps one of the band mates?? CUTIE PATOOTIE ALERT!!!! Honestly, he’s so pure and beautiful? One of the band mates tried to go ‘Knife of Day is… well, the name isn’t…’ ‘HAVE CONFIDENCE IT’S ALL GOOD FRIEND!!!!’ ‘Yamato that’s not what-‘ ‘WITH THESE MEMBERS WE’RE KNIFE OF DAY! WE’RE GOOD!!!’ ‘but the name-‘ ‘THESE FOUR MEMBERS. KNIFE OF DAY. HAVE CONFIDENCE!!!!’ Takeru comes along and talks about camp. Yamato is very cute toward Takeru who is worried a little about him. Very sweet scenes. Yamato explains both the band and August 1st are important to him. Later, Takeru buys Yamato a pink sleeping bag because he’s a shit head lmao

Everyone’s at camp, Mimi forgets everything. She’s adorable. People set up camp, which is cute. Yamato runs the kitchen and Hikari is chased by Agumon because she has meat. Etemon is the camp ground guardian? (What do you call these guys??) He takes their money (OF COURSE) and keeps going ‘there are MONKEYS around here!’ and everyone’s like k cool story. Eventually he’s like YOU WANNA SEE A MONKEY?!? But everyone’s like nah bro we good, so he runs off dejected.

The kids talk about the future. Mimi just wants to be a kid forever, but Palmon says she wants to be an adult lol. Koushirou isn’t sure what he wants to do, but says he likes computers. Jyou really talks about why he wants to be a doctor and it’s such a good speech! Yamato and Taichi are both like ‘well, I like my hobby I guess??’ Sora deflects the question, Hikari doesn’t know.

Yamato and Taichi try to converse later (it’s just the two of them because Koushirou said something to ruin the mood so Takeru dragged him away even though he was like ‘I’ll stay awake as long as you’re up bro’). It’s mostly Hey Yamato Yeah? …. … . … Yeah?! …Nothing -silence- We have a lot to talk about, huh Yamato? -plays harmonica-

dumb morons lmao

Mimi: Sora, you awake? …SORA Hikari: aye what up Mimi: GHOST STORY TIME Hikari: starts telling an old experience Mimi: NO TOO SPOOKY STOP STOP LET’S TALK ABOUT LOVE!!!!!

She tries to get info out of Hikari who tries to get info out of her back. They both start going ‘what about Sora’ who stays asleep but Mimi is about to ‘reveal’ who Sora likes when she shoots up and is all like I DON’T LIKE ANYONE!!! They’re all lying down in sleeping bags, so Hikari and Mimi were jumping around in their sleeping bags and Mimi does the CUTEST wiggle!!!

They talk about their dreams and Mimi is like ‘I like lotsa stuff??’ but she thinks it’s stupid and is kinda embarrassed but they’re like?? No? it’s cool to have multiple interests and dreams? WHICH IS A VERY IMPORTANT MESSAGE

Jyou leaves early for his exam the next morning. Shit goes down and people split up to solve the problem. Etemon ends up revealing himself to Taichi and co. He’s super strong and is basically like “it’s been six years your time BUT I’VE BEEN SUPER SUPER LONELY FOR 100 YEARS I JUST WANNA CHILL”

There’s a gate so everyone (bar Jyou) is stuck at camp. Etemon forces Tai, Hikari, Sora and Mimi to bbq with him. AND THE ETEMON FIVE. YES YOU READ THAT RIGHT – ETEMON HAS FOUR COLOURED MONKEY BOY BAND FRIENDS. THEY SING AND EAT AND PLAY TOGETHER. THEY’RE THE ETEMON FIVE, COMING TO A TOWN NEAR YOU!!!

Anyway, there’s a fight and Etemon wins and gets the above group together and the bbq happens. Etemon is super happy to see Hikari (“oniichan!” “eh? You’re the only dude… YOUR SISTER?! HOW ADORABLE!!!”) and she’s like ‘stop fighting’ and he’s like ‘girl? That’s all I want???’ but later they eat all the food and Etemon whips out yakisoba and offers some to Hikari.

“No. I don’t want it?” –awkward silence- Etemon 1: Eh? Why? Etemon 2: -idk- Etemon 3: Don’t push her! Etemon 4: Is it… you’re dieting? If that’s it… I totally understand…

Hikari is done with their shit. She wants to go home. Mimi wants a bath. Sora’s done with this bullshit. They realise time has gone whack. Tai and Sora have a tiff, Mimi makes Sora back down when she tries to comfort him so Hikari can do it instead. Time is whack so they’ve been there forever, Etemon is like I SAID I WAS LONELY YOU CAN’T LEAVE EVER!!! He then tries to make Taichi be his bestie.

By forcing him into a kiss.

Curtain close.

(Honestly it was the funniest thing – it was a non-sexual kiss, but y’all, consent is consent. I mean, you probably shouldn’t take dating advice from a man in a monkey suit who low key resembles Piko Taro, but like. This is a weird site, Idk where some of you learnt to romance. I feel I need to say that.)

[raptorific]

i've been scrolling through your blog for a bit and i just wanna say that i think that D.C. went through a rough stage a while back and marvel took full advantage of that shit and it sucks like DC could make the superhero movie of the century and people would be like :/ it's D.C. tho n not marvel while marvel can crank out some ass shit that they wrote in three days and as long as it has some "cool" actor people will praise that shit like it's fucking jesus himself in movie form n just ughhhhhh

I mean, I honestly don’t think DC’s had much of a rough stage since the unspeakably bad Burton-Schumacher Batman films of the 80s and 90s. Their film studio was just about dead after that and they tried to make a few other things happen but they just sorta fizzled at best and crashed and burned at worst. “Batman Begins” frankly revitalized the superhero genre and the Nolan series maintained relative consistency in terms of tone and story for the seven years it spanned. 

The Nolan Batman movies were a catalyst for change in the genre for a couple of reasons, but the largest of them is that suddenly superhero movies were actually viewed as, like, legit movies and not just shallow popcorn films. DC and Marvel took two very different approaches to this. 

DC doubled down on the Nolan series’ more grounded, human, artistic take on the superhero genre and tried to showcase their superheroes as flawed and vulnerable, which is great because it’s kind of their comics’ strong suit. Marvel went in the exact opposite direction and created movies that were outlandish fantasies-- and this is not a dig, outlandish fantasy is a hell of a lot of fun and it was necessary for them to establish a distinct identity that plays more to their comics’ strengths. 

See, DC is more character-oriented and Marvel is more story-oriented. It’s why DC can basically have a whole graphic novel where Batman just sits around introspecting and have it be good, and why Marvel can tell a more compelling story about characters nobody’s ever heard of. When they try to take on the other’s strengths, you end up with something unwatchably bad, which brings me back to the subject of DC’s supposed “rough patch” and the quality double standard where DC delivering anything short of absolute perfection is marked as a miserable failure while Marvel can phone it in and still have people rave about their movies:

DC’s films, since the Nolan trilogy revived their film studio from the brink, has had exactly one major misstep, and it happened because they tried to emulate the success of Marvel’s smash success “Iron Man” in tone with the Ryan Reynolds Green Lantern film. Believe it or not, Man of Steel, Batman v. Superman, and Suicide Squad were all relatively successful films commercially and were enjoyed by most of their audience. The people who hated them were much louder and more obnoxious about it, but DC’s movies actually do have a passionate fanbase and they’re really only gaining more fans with each movie they release. Their one major flop was “Green Lantern” and the main problem with that is that most people aren’t gonna enjoy a faithful adaptation of Green Lantern comics because Green Lantern comics are by and large inaccessible

Marvel, on the other hand, produces more Misses than Hits. They’ve got some amazing films (Iron Man 1, Captain America, CA:TWS, Avengers 1) but they’ve also got a whole bunch of films that are bland and mediocre at best and soul-crushingly unwatchable at worst (Iron Man 2, Iron Man 3, Civil War, Age of Ultron, Guardians of the Galaxy, the list goes on but so many of their movies have been so forgettable I can’t be bothered)

So this sounds like I’m refuting your point, but I think it really says something that DC’s films are considered to have had a “rough patch” of one movie whose biggest fault is that it was mediocre compared to the more recent superhero fare of Iron Man 1 and The Dark Knight, while Marvel can produce hours upon hours of tangled inaccessible shlock that’s led to people being so fatigued by their universe that the most exciting thing a Marvel trailer can contain at this point is "indications that they’re finally going Off Brand”

Anyway yeah you’re right on most counts, specifically that Marvel’s early successes largely came from an attempt to distinguish themselves from DC’s most popular superhero films, which were very insulated in terms of continuity (Batman Begins and Superman Returns, for example, don’t reference taking place in the same world as one another) and people really liked Marvel’s movies having clear crossovers building to a team-up (Fury mentions the Avengers in “Iron Man,” Tony shows up in “Incredible Hulk,” Tony’s dad is in Cap 1, Natasha shows up in Iron Man 2, etc.) and there was a really satisfying payoff to that in “The Avengers”

The problem is that now every movie just tries to up the ante on that payoff and we get diminishing returns. Do you know how many superheroes need to be in a Captain America movie at all? One. Do you know how many superheroes played a major role in the plot of Cap 3? I count eleven off the top of my head, and that’s for a solo movie! By contrast, Avengers 1, a team movie with an ensemble cast, had seven superheroes playing a major role if you count Fury as a superhero (which IMO you should). And instead of trying to deliver something new in other films, they just keep trying to double down on “look how much continuity!” to the point where I’m honestly fatigued just looking at the poster for “Infinity War” because at my last count there were over two dozen main characters and ScarJo has threatened us with even more cameos and crossovers than that. 

That’s one of the (many) reasons I’m looking forward to Black Panther. You know who I didn’t see in that trailer? Anyone from any other goddamn marvel movie other than Black Panther. It looks like they’re finally trying to deliver something new instead of just trying to deliver something that’s The Same But Louder.

Anyway point is you’re right that Marvel spent their first five years setting up a payoff and have spent the five years since delivering that payoff trying in vain to get lightning to strike a second time, and unfortunately their formula is treated as the scientific standard for superhero films to the point that making a movie that doesn’t adhere to that formula is seen as a failure for some ungodly reason

[kitto-toberu-sa]

Digimon Stage Play - Full

Aight, so tl;dr: great show, actors are perfect, Yamato is beautiful beyond belief, Mimi is UGHHHHHH in the good way and I’m bitter that the whole show isn’t sold out and whoever was in charge of promotion should be forced to eat nothing but the hottest of hot chillies for the rest of their life.

Timeline: It’s set after Koushirou creates the cyber space for them, but before the reboot. Clearly on/around August 1st ;p

Venue/Goods: a little out of the way, small. You couldn’t buy goods unless you had a ticket, which sucks. Goods were sold on the inside, line was small pre-play, massive after. My store clerk couldn’t count to save her life. People were trading, everybody hated that everything was random and there were so many types of things. Friend and I ordered dvd – no blu ray option, it’s being released in December (average wait time since Japan is very slow on physical releases). Had to downpay 2000 yen, which this and dvd only option has never happened before when I’ve seen other stage shows – not a good sign. No postal option, so my friend has to pick mine up for me – poor form again. (Pick up is only at animate – my nearest one is 2+ hours away :/)

Promotion/sold out: four shows sold out. Tickets reduced to 7000 yen, which is insulting for us who went through lottery. They advertised low prices at fes too. Promotion was done badly. Digimon isn’t massively popular, but Toei isn’t small either. Get a cast twitter, post rehearsal pics etc. Promotion doesn’t need to be costly. Fes advertisement (last weeks vid) was too little too late. Theres events with Miyazaki and AiM and seiyuus, which also seems last minute and an attempt to sell out. Again insulting to those of us to preordered. Shonichi didn’t sell out. Must be tough on actors. Promotion video (August 5th? 6th?) is kinda bad quality – the stage itself looks and sounds better than the video may lead you to believe.

Seating: nice, comfy. We were second row, left hand side, aisle. If we had been one or two more to the left it would have been really bad (same if you’re too overly right). The cast faces back/sideways too often, so we saw a lot of backs. Need to work on being diagonal, basic stage stuff there. However, pros of our seating were: Yamato being right in front of us when he sang, Jyou fishing in front of us and making eye contact with Etemon to the point where it was creepy lmao

Play Y’all. Y’ALL. THIS IS THE GOOD SHIT. A+ A+ A+ A+!!!!!! The puppets look quite nice tbh. Sometimes a little weird and maybe the cast should have worn the traditional black instead, but it was done well. Agumon is twitchy in the start, scene is a little long. He’s basically like ‘my body can’t move/is moving on it’s own???? Wat? Why???’ (both happen, not a bad translation on my part). He wakes up and Gabumon’s like ‘yeah me too’ and some of the other Digimon agree but Palmon’s like ‘yeah same but it’s because I’m not a morning person lmao’.

They all go to where the kids are. So this is set sometime after Koushirou makes the cyber space for them. Mimi and Koushirou talk about camping and Mimi ends up throwing his laptop on the FLOOR. Koushirou looks heartbroken and the entire audience was ?!?!? but sasuga Mimi and Koushirou’s like … well, moving on. Mimi is perfect beyond belief. Right voice, face, mannerisms. I know that’s what acting is, but she NAILED IT. She’s all like ‘camping is about feeling the breeze~’ then acts like she has wind her face, ‘about being hot’ (ahhhh, it’s hoooooot, she says), about monsters! (she says as she stalks towards the Digimon). We then get the scene where Sora talks about the importance of August 1st. While she speaks, on the left and right sides we see actual scenes from the original anime, which is really touching. Sora mentions that although there were good times, there were bad ones too (CUE GIF OF LEOMON DYING BECAUSE THEY HAD TO HAVE IT SOMEWHERE) All the mons wanna go camping which obviously, is cool.

Hikari invites Taichi and they talk. Jyou calls Hikari but Taichi answers and Jyou doesn’t realise. ‘Damn that Taichi, he isn’t coming? Leave it to me!’ Eventually Taichi is like ‘it me moron’ and Jyou convinces him to come after Taichi’s like ‘I BET UR NOT COMING’ because Jyou, as always, has exams. Jyou is a smart ass? He’s like ‘Taichi, next year, you’ll be in my position. And if it’s you… well… you’ll be in trouble.’ SUCH A GOOD SCENE JYOU IS MVP IN THIS PLAY Y’ALL. He gets his creep on here and it’s so funny. A couple of time it’s acknowledged that Hikari should have been there on August 1st but was sick. I believe at one point they were like ‘yeah we’re low key looking for Meikuumon’ so they’ve all met Meiko and plot stuff has happened. Whether you like Meiko or not (and the 02 kids), they aren’t relevant here – August 1st is for the original kids and I’m very glad they kept it that way.

Next is Knife of Day. Yamato sung and you could tell he was nervous but he did really well. He seemed to try and do too much of a Yamato voice instead of his natural voice). Yamato talks technical stuff (music wise) and then he high fives and fist bumps one of the band mates?? CUTIE PATOOTIE ALERT!!!! Honestly, he’s so pure and beautiful? One of the band mates tried to go ‘Knife of Day is… well, the name isn’t…’ ‘HAVE CONFIDENCE IT’S ALL GOOD FRIEND!!!!’ ‘Yamato that’s not what-‘ ‘WITH THESE MEMBERS WE’RE KNIFE OF DAY! WE’RE GOOD!!!’ ‘but the name-‘ ‘THESE FOUR MEMBERS. KNIFE OF DAY. HAVE CONFIDENCE!!!!’ Takeru comes along and talks about camp. Yamato is very cute toward Takeru who is worried a little about him. Very sweet scenes. Yamato explains both the band and August 1st are important to him. Later, Takeru buys Yamato a pink sleeping bag because he’s a shit head lmao

Everyone’s at camp, Mimi forgets everything. She’s adorable. People set up camp, which is cute. Yamato runs the kitchen and Hikari is chased by Agumon because she has meat. Of course, Yamato finds out about his sleeping bag and runs after Takeru. Etemon is the camp ground guardian? (What do you call these guys??) He takes their money (OF COURSE) and keeps going ‘there are MONKEYS around here!’ while posing ridiculously and everyone’s like k cool story. Eventually he’s like YOU WANNA SEE A MONKEY?!? But everyone’s like nah bro we good, so he runs off dejected.

The kids talk about the future. Mimi just wants to be a kid forever, but Palmon says she wants to be an adult lol. Koushirou isn’t sure what he wants to do, but says he likes computers. Jyou really talks about why he wants to be a doctor and it’s such a good speech! Yamato and Taichi are both like ‘well, I like my hobby I guess??’ Sora deflects the question, Hikari doesn’t know.

Theres a scene where Jyou sees a shooting star. Nobody else can see it. It’s cute.

Yamato and Taichi try to converse later (it’s just the two of them because Koushirou said something to ruin the mood so Takeru dragged him away even though he was like ‘I’ll stay awake as long as you’re up bro’). It’s mostly Hey Yamato Yeah? …. … . … Yeah?! …Nothing -silence- We have a lot to talk about, huh Yamato? -plays harmonica-

dumb morons lmao (all KoD stuff and Yamato’s harmonica is live. It sounds much better than what the video leads you to believe!!!!)

Mimi: Sora, you awake? …SORA Hikari: aye what up Mimi: GHOST STORY TIME Hikari: starts telling an old experience Mimi: NO TOO SPOOKY STOP STOP LET’S TALK ABOUT LOVE!!!!!

She tries to get info out of Hikari who tries to get info out of her back. They both start going ‘what about Sora’ who stays asleep but Mimi is about to ‘reveal’ who Sora likes when she shoots up and is all like I DON’T LIKE ANYONE!!! They’re all lying down in sleeping bags, so Hikari and Mimi were jumping around in their sleeping bags and Mimi does the CUTEST wiggle!!!

They talk about their dreams and Mimi is like ‘I like lotsa stuff??’ but she thinks it’s stupid and is kinda embarrassed but they’re like?? No? it’s cool to have multiple interests and dreams? WHICH IS A VERY IMPORTANT MESSAGE

Jyou leaves early for his exam the next morning. Shit goes down and people split up to solve the problem. Etemon ends up revealing himself to Taichi and co. He’s super strong and is basically like “it’s been six years your time BUT I’VE BEEN SUPER SUPER LONELY FOR 100 YEARS I JUST WANNA CHILL”

There’s a gate so everyone (bar Jyou) is stuck at camp. Etemon forces Tai, Hikari, Sora and Mimi to bbq with him. AND THE ETEMON FIVE. YES YOU READ THAT RIGHT – ETEMON HAS FOUR COLOURED MONKEY BOY BAND FRIENDS. THEY SING AND EAT AND PLAY TOGETHER. THEY’RE THE ETEMON FIVE, COMING TO A TOWN NEAR YOU!!!

Anyway, there’s a fight and Etemon wins and gets the above group together and the bbq happens. Etemon is super happy to see Hikari (“oniichan!” “eh? You’re the only dude… YOUR SISTER?! HOW ADORABLE!!!”) and she’s like ‘stop fighting’ and he’s like ‘girl? That’s all I want???’ but later they eat all the food and Etemon whips out yakisoba and offers some to Hikari.

“No. I don’t want it.” –awkward silence- Etemon 1: Eh? Why? Etemon 2: -idk- Etemon 3: Don’t push her! Etemon 4: Is it… you’re dieting? If that’s it… I totally understand…

Hikari is done with their shit. She wants to go home. Mimi wants a bath. Sora’s done with this bullshit. They realise time has gone whack so they’ve been there hours. Tai and Sora have a tiff as Tai is trying to keep the peace (doesn’t want to keep fighting, Sora realises they’ve essentially been kidnapped by Etemon 5), Mimi makes Sora back down when she tries to comfort him so Hikari can do it instead. Time is whack so they’ve been there forever, Etemon is like I SAID I WAS LONELY YOU CAN’T LEAVE EVER!!! He then tries to make Taichi be his bestie.

By forcing him into a kiss.

Curtain close.

(Honestly it was the funniest thing – it was a non-sexual kiss, but y’all, consent is consent. I mean, you probably shouldn’t take dating advice from a man in a monkey suit who low key resembles Piko Taro, but like. This is a weird site, Idk where some of you learnt to romance. I feel I need to say that.)

Part Two. Curtain stays shut. Jyou is wandering around the audience. Gomamon says it’s cool he failed his test. Jyou is very dramatic but eventually he reveals he did perfectly. Very cute moment. Etemon comes out after Jyou leaves (curtain still shut) and tries to get the crowd to yell his name. This happened earlier and nobody responded. He asked Taichi what his name was and got no response either ;;;; This time, the audience gave a lukewarm result so we got called weak lol. He then asked us again and we said his name louder, so he was very happy. The curtain was drawn and he almost got pushed away by it.

There’s more of a fight and we see all the groups are separated. The Digimon start feeling affected like how Agumon was at the start. A lot of the discussions they have are mostly about understanding the importance of August 1st, but also realising they can’t stay there forever. Life happens. They need to move on.

A gate appears so everyone is stuck in a barrier. Bar Jyou. Because he understands August 1st, is in the past, but still treasures it. Jyou and Yamato have a really good conversation, and it’s really nice to see Yamato being over the top and emotional around someone who isn’t Takeru or Taichi.

But before that, when everyone realises something is weird Koushirou’s like ‘Jyou is our last hope!’. Yamato and Takeru aren’t… too enthusiastic about that ;;; Anyway, Jyou comes in the barrier like no problem, Takeru tries to show him there’s a problem and Jyou’s like ‘are you miming something? There’s no barrier lol’. Koushirou becomes distrustful that Jyou isn’t the real deal, so he’s like ‘nvm you can leave’ and Jyou does. Only to come right back.

I’m leaving! OKAY BYE!!! –leaves-….-comes back- I’M SERIOUSLY GONNA LEAVE!!! Go right ahead!! …Really?

This exchange goes on for a while and it’s soooooooo funny. Eventually Koushirou and Takeru leave so Yamato and Jyou have their talk, since Yamato is so frustrated he can’t do anything for Gabumon who is clearly unwell.

There’s a fight and Taichi gained confidence from Agumon who is also feeling the effects of the time warp thing. Agumon digivolves into Greymon, and it’s so cool shit. It starts off with a screen and the music and then the big walls move to cover Agumon and BAM life size Greymon!!! It was done soooooo well!!!!

Etemon reveals he isn’t the villain after fighting. (This is kinda spaced out with talking, so like fight talk fight type thing, with having discussions by different groups) It’s kinda like all the previous villains (Dark Masters etc) all merged to form Venommyotism/ Venomvamdemon who is trying to take his revenge. Or something. It’s a little vague. Roll with it. But since that would be hard to make a pupper out of, Etemon just digivolves to King Etemon. It’s so weird because they take off his head???

He struggles with Etemon and eventually Etemon turns into the villain (Venom is just shown on the walls as a projection) and Greymon can’t do much since Venom is too fast/strong, so he digivolves to MetalGreymon. Being in the front row meant I was blast with a lot of icy smoke/fog, which was fun but also… smoke ;;;

Anyway, he still struggles until Yamato comes along with MetalGarurumon. They get their shit together and Omegamon comes out. The Omegamon puppet isn’t the best. It’s from the shoulders up, but it looks slightly too cartoony. Taichi and Yamato stand on his shoulders and end up beating the villain (duh).

Everyone and everything is back to normal, but everyone realises they’re suddenly in their uniforms again. It turns out that everything from when they were wearing casual clothes was a bug. I guess like in the Digital World… sort of? It’s kinda written off as ‘just a dream’. It happened, so everything is canon, but it wasn’t in the digital world but it wasn’t in our world so time was behaving differently.

Yes.

That means Jyou has to do his test again.

It’s vague on how this time bug was created, as is how the villains came back from being dead. That’s not the point of this play. The point is helping the kids to understand that the past is the past, but they need to move on.

It was a really good play, and I encourage you to buy the dvd if you can. If you’d like merch, hmu!

[idealisticrealism]

Blindspot 2x22 recap

(Aka the one where they stop Phase 2 and Jeller finally get their act together)

Delayed by long work hours, an interstate trip for a traditional Indian engagement ceremony (which was AWESOME), and not in the least by my complete inability to deal with any of this episode at all ever.

There is so much screaming ahead, oh my god.

Alright kids, buckle up. This is gonna be a long ride.

Aaand we're back with Weller and Keaton in the Doomsday bunker, and you just know it's gotta be the end of the world when these two are willingly teaming up. As much as I still hate what Keaton did (like really, really hate it), I have to say I really enjoy his and Weller's dynamic as reluctant partners. I also enjoy that Weller is waaay taller than Keaton, and that he's the more dominant one in the pair, with Keaton totally following along like a lil sidekick. Damn straight, son. Know your place, which-- except for this brief excursion-- is in the trash. And okay tbh I would have actually been a little bit intrigued to see what the ‘New America’ would have been like with the COGS in command? I mean it’s not like the current governing body is doing a particularly stellar job.... plus I always really liked Julia Chang and Agent Valentine... and we all know Weller is a great leader. Too bad he and Keaton couldn't have included those two ladies in their little escape plan tho, that would have been a badass team. But obviously we have no idea who is Sandstorm here and who isn't. It's interesting that Weller chose to trust Keaton-- like could he really be sure Keaton wasn't one of them? Though I guess Keaton nearly lost a daughter through his involvement with one of the tattoos, so that makes him being Sandstorm fairly unlikely. And he had Jane for months, so surely he would have just taken her to Shepherd. Anyway lol I love that Keaton practically has to run to keep up with Weller's long, determined strides. And when Keaton is slowing him down with questions etc, Weller’s all like SHUT UP AND MOVE, I GOTTA GET BACK TO MY TEAM. And ugh Keaton, bless you you little jerk: "Your team, or Jane?" Um, why not both?? He can care about both. But lbr mostly Jane tho. But omg I love Weller's 'excuse u??' face as Keaton is calling him out on basically not trusting anyone-- except for Jane, despite everything that’s happened. Uhhh, it's because he looooves her, idiot. And he's kinda sorta almost sure she loves him too. Maybe. Hopefully. Which is all the more reason to get back to her so he can find out. And lol he just shuts down the conversation and continues looking for a phone and Keaton just like rolls his eyes and follows haha. Oh Keaton, you’re a pile of trash but you’re our pile of trash 

Ughhhhhhh now Jane is wandering in Weller's office, leaving him yet another in what is obviously a string of voicemails. Like I wonder when she started calling? I assume this is in the morning after the attacks, so he's probably been gone a max of like ten to twelve hours so far. Like I wonder if she called him sometime last night-- maybe she couldn't sleep and just wanted to hear his voice?? But she couldn't get through-- presumably bc he was on a plane or in a meeting or something-- so she just called a couple of times just to listen to his voice on the voicemail message. And eventually she drifts off to sleep, expecting to wake to a message from him-- except there's nothing, and so she calls again, the worry starting to set in. And now here she is, leaving another message, admitting that she's worried about him. It's only been a matter of hours since they were together but already it's so hard for her to be separated from him. And then ugh she's standing over his desk, staring at it like she’s trying to make him appear behind it, when ooooh the new director appears. Tbh I like her instantly-- that soft Southern accent, her genuine consideration of Jane's wellbeing, her tininess but clear boss-attitude... I feel like she’s going to be good for the team. And then ugh Jane immediately asks her about Weller and ughhhh my baby is so worrieddddd about her maaannnn. And then omg Hirst acknowledges that Nas' deal made Jane practically a prisoner-- so glad to hear someone other than Roman pointing this out! And aww she offers her her freedom, and the ability to go anywhere in the world-- and so where does Jane's mind immediately go with those words? To her dream of her future life with Kurt, together and happy, of course. Good lord, Gero, how did you just hit me so hard with literally like two seconds of footage?? And then ugh "I'm a part of this team". I want to cry because it’s so true; Jane belongs here, and she knows it. Bc lbr, Nas' deal might have made her a prisoner of sorts, but this is Jane. If Jane wanted to go, she could have escaped. Jane CHOSE to be right where she is. I do love Hirst's concern though; she sees Jane as a person who deserves to choose her own path, telling her that she needs to ask herself what she truly wants. And oooohhh yeahhhhh you just know that this is going to be a big theme of the episode, with Jane knowing what her instinctive answer is but not knowing if she can actually have it....

Lol at the little tech coming up to talk to Big Boss Patterson-- who is like an old, battle-weary sergeant now, the kind who walks with a limp and stares off into space puffing a cigar as they make vague, trailing statements about 'back before the war...'. But anyhow, the tech tells her about the explosives testing, and Patterson guesses correctly what was used and is all "I know my plastic explosives" and blows the tech's mind a lil bit. God, all of her staff must have such a crush on her. Except maybe Stuart, who is too busy being terrified. Poor boy. And then Jane comes to her and offers to help, but Patterson shuts her down a little bit, grimly telling her it's already over-- but then she sees Jane's face and shakes herself out of it, because Jane doesn't deserve her jagged edges right now. Jane has gone through every step of this right there beside her, going through the same hell she has. And ugh I love the way she softens and apologises and then Jane reaches out to her about whether she would leave or stay, given the choice-- and ughhh I can’t deal with the way Jane is looking at her, like she's desperately hoping to hear that she should stay, that she's wanted, that Patterson knows the team would hate to see her leave-- but instead Patterson just tells her she deserves to do what she wants. Which is also true, but also carefully on the fence, without nudging her one way or the other. And then ughhhhhh  “What if this is what I want?”, because it is. She may have ended up here through means outside her control, but this is home. This is where she has a purpose, where she has a family. Where she belongs. But Patterson challenges her on it, and she's kinda right; Jane doesn't know anything else. And I think Patterson would hate it if Jane were to stay-- to give up all other possibilities of a happy life-- purely because this was comfortable or she was scared or felt obligated to stay. And on one hand I'm surprised by Patterson's blunt attitude, and the way it seems like she's pushing Jane to go-- but she just wants her to be SURE. She wants her to fully think things through, to know that their little team-- their little world-- may not always stay the same forever. Reade may soon be gone, and Weller does have a baby on the way, one that he might decide he wants to be closer to, now that their battle with Sandstorm is over. Plus they have no idea what direction Hirst will take the team in. And ughhhh I just want to hug Jane, because she was hoping for reassurance and instead only feels more lost, especially at the thought of Weller leaving. Oh, honey. Just because Patterson MIGHT turn out to be right doesn't mean you should give up on the things you want... And ugh Patterson herself looks dejected and so tired and ugh my babies let me wrap you up in blankets and cuddle you foreverrrrr

I find it hilarious that Weller and Keaton have been able to just wander freely around this top-secret bunker without any army dudes trying to stop them. Tbh I thought they'd be a little more supervised? And they find an old rotary-dial telephone (man I remember using one of those) and a large transmitter thingie which Keaton conveniently knows how to use. Handy. Good work letting him tag along, Weller. And then of course he immediately calls Patterson, who kinda wastes a little time by being confused by the area code-- this is not the time, girl! Also lol good thing she's not like me, and actually answers her phone for unknown numbers. But then aaahhh he's telling her that Phase 2 isn't over and then BAM Keaton nearly gets shot in the head. Excuse you, beardy guy, but no one is allowed to hurt our Keaton but us! And then ugh New Beardy is Sandstorm (sigh, of course, I mean he’s literally directly from their mold) and is about to execute them both when Keaton distracts him just enough for Weller to throw the phone at his head. God I love watching Weller throw things at people. Also lol good thing the cord was long enough to reach... And oooh now it's two-on-one and I'm actually really enjoying watching Keaton and Weller fight together. Just for today, they are 100% on the same team and they will have each other's backs. Also I find it ironic that Weller saves Keaton from being choked to death? Ah, how things change... (Doesn't mean he wouldn't still let his wifey beat the crap out of you though, Keaton). And well, at least now they have a keycard to escape with? Literally though I have so many questions about what's going to happen once they're outside. Like, isn't this some deserted mountain fortress that Weller had to fly to get to? Won't they be surrounded by army dudes?? But no matter, bc no force in the world could stop Weller from getting back to Jane. Ain't no mountain high, ain’t no valley low...      

Awwww Reade is still in his bloody clothes-- he's sat by Zapata's bed all night. My baaabies. And ugh the moment she wakes she's like “Did we get Shepherd?/This isn't over" and tbh idk how she knows (gut feeling?) but she's right. And I so wish we got to see her response when Reade got the call from Patterson, telling him what Weller said? And ugh now the team-- or what's left of it, just the three of them-- is in the bullpen, desperately trying to figure out what's about to happen. And ugh Jane immediately wants to find and rescue Weller, but surprisingly it's Reade who steps up (trying to do Dad proud, lbr) and says they'll focus on Sandstorm instead, just as Weller would want. And ugh together they realise that yesterday's bombings prompted a huge security meeting today a the White House, where many government bigwigs will be attending-- just like they do after every major attack. The perfect way to wipe out the whole government is by getting them all in the same room. And then ugh again Reade takes it on himself to be fill-in Weller, giving the orders and going to brief Hirst. Makes sense, given that Patterson is far too important and busy to play messenger haha, and Jane doesn't quite have the FBI cred yet. And ugh good thing the two ladies are left to work together bc they figure out that the explosives Sandstorm used are also rocket fuel, and luckily they know just the person to question about it. It's a good throwback to the last Rich episode, bringing back the Riley guy that we have already known is linked to Sandstorm. And the team is intimidating the shit out of him in the conference room, working hard to break him, when suddenly the SIOC elevators open, and Weller and Keaton step out, fresh from their great escape. Man, I so wish we got to see the particulars of that adventure. I bet it was badass. Or maybe it involved just a bit of badass action as they stole an army jeep, but then got kind of embarrassingly dull as they had to roadtrip together in silence back to NYC. Ah, the awkwardness. But anyhow Jane immediately sees Weller-- lbr, she's been keeping half an eye on that elevator all day-- and ugh I can’t deal with the way she says his name, initially in disbelief, then more loudly as she realises she's not seeing things, that he's really there. And ughhhhhhh kill me now because she legit runs across the bullpen, breath escaping in a relieved little laugh, and literally throws her arms around his neck and holds onto him tightly and ughhh he never got any of her messages so it's almost a surprise to him that she's so relieved to see him, and ughhh since their kiss last night it's like one more wall has crumbled from between them-- I mean, before that kiss she wouldn't have dared to be so open in leaving him worried messages or throwing herself into his arms in the middle of the bullpen but now this is how they are, this is them, (lol Patterson and Reade must be like 'well this is new... but not at all surprising' haha) and ugh he holds her close and they rock a little (rude) and ughhh the little puppy-whimper noise she lets out just kills me. And the way she shakes her head a little to clear it, like she's trying to steady herself, and her "I thought you were..." and ughhhh it kills me so much that she would have had to acknowledge the possibility that he was dead, that getting the message out to them had cost him his life, and she would never see him again... and ugh he assures them (her) that he's alright and gets straight to business. I love that when he calls Keaton over (who, lbr, was probably standing over there shaking his head like 'be more in love with each other I dare you'), Jane is all 'wtf??' and I kinda love that she literally didn't even notice that one of her arch-nemeses was only a few yards away bc til now she had been able to see nothing but Weller. And ugh I wish we got to see Weller's face here, because her eyes barely leave his even as Keaton approaches and ugh I bet he gives her this apologetic look and little nod and it's enough for her; she will always hate Keaton but she trusts Kurt, trusts that he wouldn't ever bring someone like him near her unless it was unavoidable, and ugh our babies are reunited and that’s all that mattersssss 

So the team heads back to the lab, joined by their new members-- that cool aunt who is all ladylike and lovely on the surface but will literally beat someone's ass into the dirt and dispose of the body if they dared lay a finger on you, and that awkward cousin who has always been kind of an asshole in order to cover up his insecurities, but has grown up a bit and now is actually trying to be less of a shitbag-- and their focus turns to the last remaining pieces of the puzzle: the still-unused guidance chip, and Shepherd herself. Jane mentions that Shepherd was in Thailand the week before, putting Keaton in the spotlight when he explains that the CIA picked up intel on nuclear material being stolen-- leading to a little squabble between the kids until Aunty Hirst steps in and puts her probably-cowboy-booted foot down. Weller pairs Reade with Keaton, which isn't exactly a deliberate punishment on Reade but hey, two birds one stone. Patterson is tasked to keep finding info to use on Riley. Jane doesn't get given a specific job, but turns and leaves when all the others do-- I guess she assumed Weller would be heading out as well? I'm just surprised she didn't wait for him, tbh. Though maybe Keaton's presence just has her on edge. More likely tho, it was just a choice by the show’s director to have Jane conveniently out of the room for the upcoming conversation. Weller's so cute, literally checking that everyone is gone before asking Patterson about Hirst. And ugh bless my baby's heart, she gives a concise assessment of Hirst (’maverick’ is an interesting choice of term; you wouldn't think someone would get to her level by playing outside the rules) and then tells Weller that she's going to release Jane. And oooohh my boy gets his crinkly face on because ??Wifey is leaving??? Does not compute??? And ugh the stunned look on his face and the disbelieving 'why??' just kill me because he's literally reeling from this news, unable to even process how it could be happening when they had just finally found their way back to each other and ugh he must be wondering if it was the kiss, aka him, that somehow sparked her decision and ugh my poor boy is so distressed-- and then Patterson is all 'well yeah I kinda told her to go' and ooooh big bro is NOT PLEASED. How dare his little sis do this?? But ugh she calls him Kurt (literally has she ever called him that before?? Bc if she has I don't remember) and oooohhh she drops the truth bomb on him that Jane didn't choose this life (I think he forgets that sometimes? Like to him Jane is just such an intrinsic part of the team and what they do, that he forgets that she came to them through less-than-voluntary circumstances), and she suggests if he's got something to say to Jane he should do it now, allowing her to make her decision with all the facts. OOOOHHHH, TEN MILLION POINTS TO PATTERSON. This kind of forceful Jeller-encouragement almost makes up for all the Jeller-interrupting she's done in the past year haha. Almost. Now go on Weller, listen to your lil sis.... 

Aww poor Zapata is not having an easy time sitting on the sidelines. I feel you, girl. And then she realises from Reade's tone on the phone that something else is going on, and she'll be damned if she's not going to be there with her team for it. Also lol she rips out her drip and somehow it doesn’t bleed at all. Mmm-hmmm, sure. I see no flaws in this whatsoever. But god, the local hospitals really must dread having these guys as patients, because they literally never do what they're told haha

Oh, so this is why Weller didn't give Jane a task like the others. They both already knew that they would be going in to finish interrogating Riley together. Jane was probably already waiting outside the interview room for him when he showed up, wondering what had delayed him in the lab and why he looked somewhat shaken all of a sudden. And of course she would have asked him if everything was alright, instantly knowing by just the tone of his reply that it wasn't but that they wouldn't be able to broach it until after this mission was done. Luckily Patterson has discovered that Riley's sister lives close enough to DC to be endangered by a nuclear attack, allowing them to get the truth out of him-- he launched a satellite for Shepherd. And well this seems like a big deal, especially considering Patterson literally sprints from her lab to confront Riley-- and oh the satellite will launch a glider that will head straight to DC. He thought it would just hit the white house, but instead it'll be aimed at the nuclear material, making things about a million times worse. The attack would wipe out the whole eastern seaboard, which would be very, very bad. Hold on, that also means that it will kill both Shepherd and Roman as well?? I mean, they're right there in DC with the truck, so unless they have a private jet, surely they don't have time to get to a safe distance? Lol I love when the team finds Zapata in the bullpen and she's all 'wait, there’s nukes??' and the boys are all YOU SHOULD BE IN HOSPITAL because they're Expert-Level Hypocrites haha. God I love her sass 'you two done mothering me?' and Weller's faaaace-- the poor man has been spoiled by Reade and Keaton's obedience today and keeps forgetting that he has zero control over his ladies haha. Also speaking of Keaton, he is SUPER quick to offer to brief Zapata, and ugh I love how annoyed and disgusted she is to see him there. Glad Jane has someone on her side with this haha. And then Keaton's all 'I used to fly jets/ oh the domestic drone program is upstairs' and ugh she is so done with him already and it's been like ten seconds. I love her. And he seems to just like her more for it, and oh buddy, you don't stand a chance. Just give up now (also aren’t you married??). Then in retaliation for her bad behaviour, Weller partners them while the others try to hide their smirks. Keaton is naturally pleased, while you can literally almost feel Zapata's eyes rolling lol. Clearly ready to be out of there, Weller all but grabs Jane and heads to the elevator to catch their plane-- I mean, they're the best partnership the FBI has, and if they fail, at least they die together--  completely cutting Patterson off when she suggests saying their goodbyes. Come on, Patterson, you know big bro doesn't deal with either emotions or the prospect of failure well. Still, I bet Jane totally looked back and gave them all a sad little wave before following him, because while she's ready to die beside him, she hates the thought of leaving her team-- her family-- behind ugh 

Ughhh Zapata and Keaton scanning DC with drones looking for the nuclear stuff is so funny-- he tries to mansplain it to her and she's all ‘YEP FULLY AWARE THANKS’ and ugh she calls him Jake which is kinda funny, since being part of the 'team' means getting called by your last name (Jane is a special case because everyone knew her last name would be Weller too one day) and so it's like she's deliberately degrading him a little and reminding him he's not one of the club. And ugh he persists (bc of course he does) and asks how she's doing and tells her he admires her and asks her to work for the CIA and ooooohhhhh buddy. Don't you know your predecssor tried this same thing, and ended up dead a short time later? In an unrelated incident, but still. Asking her to go over to the CIA is like asking a die-hard sports fan to convert to their arch-rival team. Not gonna happen. She'll be carrying that FBI badge til the day she dies, bucko. (Which will hopefully be man, many years in the future btw)

Aaaahhh the plane. Jeller on a plane. I'm having very pleasant flashbacks of hearteyes and handholding rn, so I’m crossing my fingers for more of the same. Poor Jane, though; she clearly still does not like planes at all. She looks so uncomfortable haha. And Weller does too, but for a completely different reason: "Patterson told me that you're thinking of leaving". And oh my godddddd this conversation is killing me because they're both idiots who are operating completely on assumptions; like Weller is trying to be a good guy and support her right to live life how she chooses, because he already believes she'll leave-- bc why stay with damaged goods like him when she now has the whole world at her feet?-- and she thinks his encouragement is because he believes she should go, and ugh she puts out feelers, trying to gauge his mindset, talking about maybe California and then asking him about Colorado, and ugh she encourages him to take a spot in Denver because she wants him to be happy and ughhhhh you idiots, just SAY WHAT YOU REALLY FEEL, WHICH IS THAT YOU BOTH WANT TO STAY BY EACH OTHER'S SIDE FOREVER AND EVER AND NEVER LEAVE EACH OTHER EVER. (Also known as marriage. Just put a damn ring on it already jfc). But ugh instead there's this soft little moment where they acknowledge that they're both allowed to be happy, and again you dumb children each keep assuming that the other means going their separate ways but actually literally means the exact opposite. GAWD STOP TRYING TO SPEAK IN SUBTEXT AND JUST SAY WHAT YOU MEAN. AND THEN GET SOME MILE-HIGH JELLER LOVIN' HAPPENING LIKE LITERALLY YOU'RE ON A LUXURY JET ALONE WITH THE PERSON YOU LOVE AND IT MIGHT LITERALLY BE YOUR LAST DAY ON EARTH LIKE WHY ARE YOU WASTING THIS OPPORTUNITY I DON’T UNDERSTAND

Thankfully, I have Patterson and her sass (dissing Riley) to make me feel better haha. And then the NASA people arrive and she's all 'hey I know barely anything about this but'-- *poses incredible, literally-out-of-this-world theory and is met with well deserved awe and admiration* haha. Also lol Eileen "Oh that is not to scale" hahahahaaa. I love having Reade and Hirst represent the viewers who are all sitting here like me going 'yes.. spaceships will save them. Mmm-hmmm I totally understand everything that is happening right now. Spaceships.' lol. And speaking of genius ladies, Zapata realises that Shepherd has hidden the nuclear stuff in something lead-lined (just watch Keaton's crush growing ever larger lol), leading to her finding Shepherd's location and giving it to Weller and Jane, who are now firmly on the ground, right in the danger zone. Man, I wish we got to see more of that car ride from the airport. I know Weller is very anti-goodbyes rn, but I feel like Jane would have wanted to say something? Though then again she's probably decided she'll hold it in right until she's sure they're done for, then confess everything to him. Meanwhile he's probably thinking the same, because they are a pair of idiots who like to torment me with their inability to use words properly when it comes to literally any emotion that’s not anger

So Shepherd and Roman are hanging in the truck, then she sends him to kill a couple of cops who are likely just in the wrong place at the wrong time. Well, this is certainly reminding me of this season's premiere. Also I totally bet Roman is wearing gloves because of Luke's injury. Seriously tho dude you can't walk towards cops with a knife in your hand and not expect to get shot??? (Oh wait, that's right, you're white. Nvm.)

Meanwhile the supergeniuses in the bullpen have hit a rather apocalyptic snag-- the launch sequence for the glider has already started, and there's no way to hack it in time. Well, shit. Patterson yet again comes up with an idea, suggesting using the mini spaceship to push against the satellite and stop if from getting to its firing location, giving them more time. Good on you, lil Patterson-spaceship. Good luck against Shaquille O'Neal haha. 

Aarghhh Weller and Jane and their band of merry men have caught up to Shepherd, and ohhh this makes me nervous. Aaaand yep, a bunch of Sandstorm dudes just came out of nowhere, taking out pretty much everyone but Weller and Jane before being taken down themselves. So now it's very much a family affair; daughter and son-in-law vs mother and brother. And ugh have I mentioned lately how much I love how in sync these two are?? The way they move, the way they communicate-- they really are the FBI elite. And then surprise, a wild Shepherd appears, giving us another Jane/Shepherd showdown-- which lbr Shepherd was def about to win before Jane's hubby showed up and shot her haha. Ah, this gives me such satisfaction. So on one hand, yay, they've got Shepherd-- but on the other, everything has just gone to hell anyway because the glider just launched, giving them thirty minutes until impact and no way to hack it. It's headed for a homing beacon, and I love that when Weller comes up with the idea cloning it and sending it after a fake one, Patterson's already in the middle of doing just that haha. Jane's convinced that Shepherd has the beacon, and Weller pats her down for like three seconds before being like 'I can't find it' haha. I'm so surprised by that Weller, I mean you were so thorough?? Anyway Keaton and Zapata find a railroad tunnel that they could get the truck to which would prevent a lot of the effect of the blast-- but even if they get it there, they won't make it back. And ughhhhh the heavy silence in the bullpen and the way Jane and Weller are staring at each other... this is too much. I can't deal. And then Weller tells Jane to stay, that he'll take the truck, and ughhhh her voice is all thick as she fiercely tells him that she's not letting him go alone and ughhhhh she would rather die by his side than live without him, and he would rather die alone so that she could live. Either way, I'm already dead because these two have killed me. Goodbye, world. And then ughhhh Patterson has tears in her eyes as she tells them they both have to go. They have to find the homing beacon and destroy it, while also getting the truck as far away as possible. They accept that like champs, because this thing is far bigger than just their own lives. So Weller has Jane drive, saving her from having to deal with Shepherd, while Patterson reprograms an app and sends it to him to use as a bug-sweeper. Man, she is amazeballs. Remember how screwed this team (and the world) would be without her? Also Keaton and Zapata have rejoined the rest in the bullpen, and ugh what an intense situation to be in, all of them there, just (for the most part) watching helplessly as the seconds tick down to Armageddon. I think some of the randoms in the back are on the phone and I totally identify with that. Personally I'd be on the phone to my mum lol

Speaking of moms, Shepherd is waxing poetic over Weller, talking about how great he is, and ummmm lady it's weird to have a crush on your son-in-law. And then he realises that Shepherd swallowed the beacon, and literally whips out a knife-- but hold up, son, what’re you doing? Like yes, you could actually cut her open and try to fish it out. I mean, circumstances ARE dire, but still... and also you know how much gastrointestinal tract there is?? If she swallowed it hours ago it would be well into her intestines by now, and trust me, that junk ain't easy to fish around in. But that's about to become a moot point, because Jane and Roman are playing the world's most intense game of chicken, and dear lord what even is this. Like he knows that he is in a car, right? One that's a hell of a lot smaller than a freakin' reinforced truck?? And ughhh she saw him there in the driver’s seat. She knew it was him, and did it anyway, because she had to. She couldn't let her love for her brother cost so many lives. Too bad the impact knocked her out. And ugh poor Patterson dials back in (since their comms had been off coz they messed with the bug-sweeper) only to hear Weller groaning out Jane's name, clearly injured. God, it would be awful being in that bullpen right now, so completely unable to help. And ugh Weller pulls a shard of metal out of his leg, and dammit son do you not remember ANY first aid skills?? Leave it in, you idiot! I mean it's too far to the outer side to have hit the femoral artery or vein, but that doesn't mean there aren't plenty of other very bleedy vessels in there just waiting to spurt all over the place. Gah. And ugh both Zapata and Patterson are in tears as they tell him he has to get up and keep looking bc they only have two minutes until the glider hits the point of no return. Damn, that half hour went fast. And ugh he tells them that Shepherd swallowed it and they all look so stunned and desolate, like they're out of options. But Weller has one more idea, and it's a shocking one. (Yes, I did just wink at my screen just then. You’re being winked at. Jsyk.). Meanwhile Jane regains consciousness and immediately calls Weller's name, and ugh never mind about the nuclear bomb, these two are definitely going to be the death of me first. She's trying to get to him when Roman attacks her-- damn, son, are your bones made of admantium or something?? And now it's two epic showdowns-- brother versus sister, and Weller + defibrillator versus Shepherd + beacon. And for a second I'm actually legitimately stunned bc I think Weller must know that his plan will very possibly kill him too-- after all, they're both kneeling on the same metal surface, which WILL CONDUCT ELECTRICITY-- but wait nope apparently this is TV science and therefore Weller is unaffected haha. Mmmkay. It doesn't work anyway, and ugh my baby Patterson can barely speak through her tears as she tells him so. He tries again, partly bc what other option does he have, and partly bc he just wanted to hurt Shepherd for doing this to them all, and this time it works, with the decoy beacon taking over right at the last moment and sending the glider harmlessly into the ocean. And ugh the celebration in the bullpen is like the most adorable thing ever-- honestly I recommend pausing this scene a few times and looking at everyone's reactions haha. My personal fave is Hirst. And ugh Patterson tells Weller it worked and he tells her she did a ‘nice job’ (understatement of the year haha) and ughhhhh this lil familyyyyyyyy

Speaking of families though, Jane and Roman are still battling it out, and Jane is absolutely winning, bc of course she is. She was always the stronger one, in every way. And ugh she has her gun on him and he yells at her to do it, to kill him, but she won't, she can't. And Weller hears his shout, instantly realising what's happening, and drags his exhausted and bleeding body up off the floor because he needs to protect Jane. Not necessarily from Roman, but from having to make a choice that would break her. Noble thought, buddy, but I think you'll find standing up is a lot harder than being on the floor. Your body ain't gonna like it. (Mine doesn't even on the best of days haha). And ugh Jane lowers the gun and lets Roman go, because she can't kill him. It's the same as in 2x01 when she could easily have shot Weller, but didn't. She loves them and could never hurt either of them. And ugh Weller tries to jump down from the truck to give chase, but I told you buddy, your body ain't made for the vertical plane right now. So he literally falls at her feet, rapidly losing consciousness (bet you wish you'd left that damn spiky thing in now, huh??) and ugh she's so panicked because she has no idea what happened in there or what his injuries are and she's all 'say something!' and so he uses his last ounce of strength to tell her not to move to California, to stay with him instead... and that he loves her. Literally if he'd died of these wounds, his very last words would have been 'I love you'. Honestly sometimes this ship makes me want to scream. And by ‘sometimes’, I mean ALL OF THE DAMN TIME. And ugh I'm going to ignore the rather unflattering camera shot lol (poor Sully haha) and focus instead on Jane's face, because for a woman who has already been through hell like eighteen different ways, she looks like she's on the verge of a breakdown rn because he loves her and he might be dying and I'm not even sure if she heard what was happening over the comms before or not-- hell it might have been knocked out of her ear during her fight-- and so she might not even know if the attack is still about to happen or not and ugh this is just a lot for my poor precious girl to deal with rn. Though I'm sure she gets her shit together pretty quick and gets Patterson to send an ambulance bc no way is she letting him leave her now, or ever, and lbr she goes with him when they take him, staying by his side with her hand around his-- whispering I love yous into his ear that he'll later think he only dreamed he heard-- right until he's taken into surgery, and only then allowing anyone to patch her up while anxiously waiting for news. Hirst arrives just a little later, allowing Jane to sit at his bedside for a few hours while he sleeps, and while Hirst deals with Shepherd and the nukes and everything else, then she eventually returns to make Jane take the plane back with her so she can give her full statement at the NYO. And even with the threat to her life now over, she sleeps in the cell again, calling the hospital for regular updates overnight, heart thudding painfully when the nurses tell her that he's been muttering her name in his sleep. The next afternoon, she knows when he's been discharged, knows that he'll come straight to the NYO once his flight lands-- and knows that she can't face him. Not there, where so many eyes will be on them, where she'll be forced to hold back how she feels. So she goes to Hirst, who understands, and who tells everyone she needs to go to medical for an assessment. Instead she goes back to the safehouse, sits on the couch, and lets herself cry. Cry about it all finally being over, cry about losing Roman, about almost losing Kurt-- and then finally when she can breathe again she pushes herself up and goes to shower and dress, immediately picking the red blouse, because during that scavenger hunt red had been their colour, the thing that marked them as trusted partners, and she wants him to see it and know that she’s in this, that their fates really are forever intertwined, that he is hers and she is his.

In the meantime, though, Weller arrives back at the NYO, steeling himself as the elevator doors begin to open. He remembers what he said, and he knows Jane heard it-- and possibly everyone on the comms, too. And then ugh the doors open and they're all there cheering for him and for a split second his eyes look for Jane-- hoping to see her right there at the front with the team-- but she's not there and Reade is already approaching him and so he goes with it and hugs his people-- ugh I love the way that each hug is different; Reade's is a congratulatory, dude-you-scored-the-home-run happy kinda hug, Patterson's is a little more tender and sisterly, while Zapata's her usual sarcastic-but-secretly-softhearted self and jokes about not being that worried about him, even though they both know she was. And ugh the happy grin on her face as she grips him tight for a moment is just so sweet. And ugh Weller telling them all how glad he is to see them and ugh he's just so totally their dad. For everyone outside the main team, he's Work-Dad, and ugh he's so proud of his lil secret agents. But even so, he's had a moment to look around now, searching the crowd, looking for one face in particular, and it's not there. He's barely even finished acknowledging all these people-- let alone started on the obligatory big speech-- and he's already asking for her. He may have had reservations before about being too open in his feelings for Jane (FYI, everyone could see it anyway, buddy) but now he literally does not care one bit who knows it. Good old Hirst quickly reassures him that she's fine-- because give him even the slightest indication that something might be wrong and he'll rip those stitches right out as he goes running after her-- and uses the medical excuse (after all, that's what she's been telling everybody), and then gets him back on track with the whole, you know, saving the day thing, and ugh now work-dad is giving his speech and ugh he's so good at it and ughhh even I'm feeling validated on their behalf rn, so I'm so happy for them haha. Also lol I love that little twirly hand gesture thing he does, bc thanks to instagram we now know that's totally a Sully thing and it just makes me giggle okay

Oooooh Shepherd is in the fancy magical MRI lie detector, and ugh again another ridiculously unrealistic needle is being given. Find an actual vein, guys, don't just stab it into the elbow! Sigh. And she's acting all tough with Keaton, bc lbr, he may be a torturer but he's still kinda lame? But then Nas walks in, and Shepherd looks like she's pooping her pants. On one hand I'm excited for the intel they'll get from her and for Nas to finally get her revenge-- but on the other, I still worry about Nas' trustworthiness and what she might do with the knowledge she gains. But I guess we'll see...

Lol Zapata is so cute, bringing Weller the newspaper about Riley's arrest. Yep, being a government agent sure is a thankless job. But then, Weller would never want the limelight anyway. Kinda reminds me of that scene in Kingsman where Colin Firth's office walls are covered in the front pages of newspapers on days where he's prevented some huge disaster, with the lead stories always being something completely inane. I love that Weller's first question is to see how she's going. Ugh, he just cares so much. I also really like that Audrey is having her injured arm hanging limply at her side-- finally, someone on the team actually continuing to look visibly injured! Though I'd prefer her in a sling. And in hospital. But whatevs. And ugh she asks about Roman, because of course she has to know. She's had a thing against him (or for him?? I’m still hopeful lol) from day one. And ugh his words are almost a warning when he tells her to read the report, that Jane didn't have the shot. He's telling her that that's the only answer that there will ever be to that question, that there would be no more arguing or questioning or digging. His loyalty is with Jane, and therefore Roman is off limits. Ughhhhh such a good hubbyyyyy

Meanwhile in the lab, Patterson already has the booze waiting (ugh, again on the touchscren?? How could you??) and there are only three glasses... looks like it's just the Three Amigos tonight. And Reade gets there an ugh they both just look so exhausted and then she's all 'what now' and surprisingly Reade has apparently decided that this is where he belongs-- Quantico is forgotten, and he's already ready to take his next stand with the team. But Patterson isn't, and oh god the way she just crumbles and ughhhhh our baby has been so strong for so long and now she just can't do it anymore. Ugh can she at least just have a holiday? Let them all go to some tropical island and be served drinks by handsome dudes (or in Reade's case, beautiful ladies) and just unwind. And ughhh Reade looks exactly how a loving big brother always does when his little sister cries-- incredibly dismayed and at a loss for what to do. A moment later Zapata appears to back him up, though looks taken aback herself to find out that Patterson-- their indefatigable little genius machine-- is falling apart. And ugh Reade has recovered enough to give a reassuring speech-- "this job takes everything” sounds very reminiscent of S1 Weller's outburst at Sarah-- and ugh who would have thought that Edgar Reade, recent Human Disaster and near-deserter, would be the one holding the team together now?? 'It gives us a way to fight back. It gives us family. It gives us hope.' and ugh if that isn't the heart of this show, I don't know what is. Unless it's Zapata's loving snark: "Is that right, Quantico?" hahaha. She may be sarcastic, but then again she just made Patterson laugh when a minute ago she was near-breakdown. I mean I just love this family so much??? They are just so perfect together and ugh they make a toast to family and I am overwhelmed

Speaking of family, they're now all gathered at Weller’s-- tho he's out on the balcony in a moment that's very reminiscent of 1x01, undoubtedly thinking about Jane, and his confession, and the future, and lots of stuff that is definitely far too heavy for a celebratory get-together, so he pulls himself together and joins the others, who are laughing and relaxed and lounging around his apartment like it's their own. Remember when none of them had ever even been there, and now it seems like they're hanging out there every other week?? FAMILYYYY. And ughhh Patterson looks so much lighter and happier and dude I agree with Weller-- I wanna know what they were laughing about? But alas we'll never know bc all of a sudden Jane appears, letting herself in without knocking bc of course she does, it's practically her apartment now too, and ughhhh look at her excited lil face and the lil wave she does and lbr Weller has literally forgotten the other three even exist bc rn all he sees is her, and he walks toward her with this slightly awed but also questioning look, like he can barely believe she's really there, and then "I didn't think you were coming"-- bc you just know he probably tried to call her or at least send her a message but couldn't get hold of her, so he'd already half-convinced himself that she was already pulling away from them all, or even right at that moment getting ready to head to California, and ugh when she asks to talk to him outside you can just see the apprehension that spreads across his face and for a split second he can’t even force himself to move because he thinks this is it, this is goodbye, and god he can't do it but he knows he has to and so he forces his feet to move, following after her-- but seriously he's so busy freaking out that he doesn't even register the air of nervous excitement that's literally radiating from her or the way she glances back to make sure he's following, or the eager light in her eyes as she turns to him and draws in a deep breath-- and dude, c’mon. This is not the face of someone who is about to drop a rejection and a goodbye in the same sentence. This is the face of someone at the very top of the rollercoaster, who is simultaneously terrified of the drop but also feeling more exhilarated and alive than they ever have before, and who is SO READY to tip over the edge and take the plunge. And then she takes that deep breath and begins "So they told me I could go anywhere..." and omg. She's literally rehearsed this. Jane Doe is using a ~line~ on Kurt Weller. She's literally paused for dramatic effect, letting him imagine all the very far-away places she might choose. And now here it comes: "...But this is where I wanna be." BAM. Damn, girl, I am so proud of you. From the girl who made that super awkward dinner invitation to Oliver however many weeks ago, this was so smooth. And then aaaahhhh the fear on his face just disappears (melted by the sunbeams of PURE LOVE that are shining from his eyes) and he gives the lil Kurt Weller smirky-smirk and then she does the bravest thing she's ever done and tells him she loves him back and ughhhhh just look at these two idiots?? She's already trying to find the words to follow that confession (words? what are words??) and he just gives a little shake of his head-- because she loves him and that's all he's ever needed to hear-- and steps forward and just. CLAIMS HIS WOMAN. And well I guess the background music is pretty damn fitting, given that the main lyric is "I wanna make out with you". Can't get much more accurate than that. Also lol since that song is technically "playing" in his apartment, does that mean he chose it? Did he literally make an entire spotify playlist full of subliminal messages just in case Jane came to the party? Like just imagine if she'd come inside instead of talking to him out in the hall, and then as he hands her a drink he comments very pointedly on really liking this song, that it has good lyrics, and then Jane listens for a second and then stares at him and then they immediately find an excuse to go out on the balcony or to the nursery and maaaake ouuuuttt. But of course this way is much better than that anyway, with the two of them FINALLY ON THE SAME PAGE, grinning at each other and making out in the hallway like a pair of TEENAGERS who have no concept of PEEPHOLES. Because you KNOW that at least one of the others witnessed this whole thing through that little spy-hole-- I mean let's be real, when Jeller walk back into the apartment (trying to play it cool and completely failing haha), literally none of the others are where they were when Jane arrived? Reade is now sitting with his back to the door, wearing his jacket and a ruefully amused expression, Patterson is standing way around the other side of the counter from where she was before, grinning and playing with her fingers like she just can't keep still, and Tasha's standing near her-- tbh my main bet for the one spying on them would be Peeping Patterson, though I can't rule out Zapata joining her at the doorway and giving a sniggering play-by-play for (a thoroughly unwilling) Reade before the two of them scurry back to the kitchen when Jeller are about to head inside. And then speaking of our happy couple, the two of them have literally barely stepped into the apartment (Weller opens the door for her ugh, having to lean in close to her to do so, which is such a little thing but kills me so much) and immediately Reade is all like 'wooop, gotta go, some never aforementioned bro needs help with some unspecified thing' and bails (also ughhh I never noticed the little grin he and Weller share for a split second  right as he passes him?? Ugh someone save me from this familyyyy) and then Zapata's all 'yep, gotta go with him, no possible way for me to get home in NYC except with Reade, nope not at all' and follows him out, and oh my precious supergenius Patterson is just all 'no way am I third-wheeling you two after a year of pent-up UST so I am going to go literally anywhere else' lol and ugh she tells them to have fun and that she'll see them sometime, pretty much implying that she doesn't expect them to emerge from their sex-romp for quite some time and omg I can't even imagine what it's like to be in a situation where your friends literally... uh, what's the opposite of cockblock?... for you? It's awkward but not, and oh god Weller's breathy little 'and... goodbye' and then ugh the stupid little grins they exchange, like I look at her face and I can literally almost hear a Wild-West-era petticoated belle saying 'My, how are we ever going to pass the time?' while batting her eyelashes coyly at the cowboy and he gives his sly heartthrob smile and answers in a low drawl 'I have a few ideas, ma'am' and DON'T ASK ME WHY THIS JUST TURNED INTO SOME WILD WEST HARLEQUIN ROMANCE. I HAVE NO CONTROL OVER WHERE (OR WHEN) MY BRAIN GOES. But regardless, lbr here-- that was pretty much exactly the wordless conversation that was had (okay maybe sans accents), and Jane seems to very much approve of Weller's ideas, which involve a lot of making out and manhandling-- shoving her against a wall and then carrying her to bed and putting her down so delicately ughhhhhhhh-- paired with the enthusiastic removal of clothing haha. And you know what, while I'm in no way a particular supporter of the strobelight sex scene, the more I watch it (errr... for scientific reasons of course), the more I find it cute rather than ridiculous. Plus if you let your eyes go a tiny bit out of focus and don't try to look at any particular thing too closely, and instead just let it like wash over you, it's not that bad at all. I do love the sheer amount of grinning happening all throughout though-- remember how we all thought their first time would be so serious and emotional? Instead they are literally giggling like the idiots they are and I love it. Like can you literally give me an example of two happier people?? Didn’t think so. And ughhhhhh I'm just so happy for themmmm, our babies are finally together where they belongggggggggg aaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

Okay, so that's a cliff, and that's Jane climbing it... but there's too much hair. Way too much. Takes-months-and-months-to-grow kind of much. Also on one hand this is cool because I recently just got back into rockclimbing myself and I'm like DUDE SHE'S FREECLIMBING A FREAKIN' GIANT CLIFF WITH A BACKWARDS INCLINE and then it's like my excitement literally falls off a cliff of its own as the 'two years later' appears on the screen. God, I don't even know what my face must have looked like in this moment, but I am certainly well aware of my stomach abruptly dropping about five feet. Tbh to me a timejump is possibly the worst non-bad thing that can happen in a show??? Like it's not up there with people being killed off or anything, but... two freakin' years. Two years where anything could have happened, and two years full of events that we may never get to see. In some shows, that wouldn't really matter much. But when that two years includes your OTP's first morning together and subsequent canon-coupleness, losing two years feels like a punch to the gut and a spit in the face all at once. Like two years is pretty much double the span of the entire past two seasons. The only comfort I have right now is that this show does flashbacks so well, and possibly may continue them into S3, giving us little glimpses of Jeller and the team along the way. God, I hope so. Also my other problem with this timejump thing, I’m realising, is that we never got the resolution I was expecting with the whole Allie thing-- honestly, I was expecting her to die before ever having the baby (I know, I’m awful) and now that’s unlikely to be the case, meaning in this new future Weller has a toddler-aged child... and if you thought I was awful a second ago, prepare to think worse of me because I’m actually legitimately upset about it. I went through this whole season believing the pregnancy was either a lie or that it would somehow never eventuate, and I’m not dealing well with the now-inevitability of this child. I feel like this is going to be one of those canon details that just gets erased from my brain, tbh. Where’s that Nick Fury gif about ignoring the council’s stupid-ass decisions? Because that’s literally me rn. But anyhow, back to more important things than non-existent progeny, aka Jane and the cliff. To get to the top she literally has to climb out on an overhang and then up, and good lord this woman is a superhuman. And then she's at the top and I want Kurt to be waiting up there for her but lbr if he was here he would have climbed with her or at least forced her to use ropes and idk how but that climb also felt very much like a ~journey~ and oh this is so worrying. So worrying. And some cute monk lady approaches and tells her there's still longing in her eyes and Jane closes her eyes and looks away and oh no. No no no. Longing implies separation from the things you love. Help me, I am withering inside because whatever happened in those two years, somewhere along the way my babies were torn apart from one another. And Jane says she's climbed this mountain dozens of times-- but why? In search of inner peace? I can tell you right now you're not gonna find it without Kurt by your side, honey-- and ugh the monk lady tells her to go home and YES LISTEN TO HER BC YOU’VE ALREADY CLEARLY BEEN GONE FOR FAR TOO LONG and then "No, I can never go back"--- *insert agonized wails here because I don't have words for this* (Okay maybe I do: WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY?????!???????!!!???!????????!?!!?????????!!!) and then ughhh soon after she's sitting alone in her little tent thing, sketching (how many pictures of Weller are there in that book?? I need to know immediately) and then the girl tells her she has a visitor and IN STEPS KURT WELLER. In a blue shirt, of all things, because of course he is. And wait did he literally just trek up a mountain to find her??? (Somewhere up in heaven, Marvin Gaye looks down approvingly for a second time this episode) And ugh she looks so stunned to see him, like she can't believe he's really there, really real, and for a couple of beats they just stare at each other and it's not clear whether she's terrified of his anger or if they parted on bad terms but then tears shine in his eyes and he drops his bag and she lets out a little whimper and literally throws herself into his arms and ughhhh they're holding each other so tight and he says he can't believe he 'finally' found her and she just holds him and presses her face to his neck and this is most definitely not a pair who parted on bad terms. This is two people who are still completely and utterly in love with one another and have been pulled apart by some external force and ugh this is simultaneously beautiful and awful. And then he gently but firmly pushes her away a little and admits, voice shaking, that he was scared for her-- because of course he was. All the people he's loved most in the world, he's lost (even Sarah and Sawyer moved away). And to be so far from her, to now know where she was or if she was okay... god, it would have near killed him. And she would have known that, which would have near-killed her. And ughhh she apologises over and over and he does that thing he does when he's trying not to cry, where his eyebrows draw together and he looks away and she tells him she can't explain, but why????? Literally what Bad Thing could exist that she couldn't tell the love of her life about??? And then she lowers her eyes, unable to meet his, and suddenly she chokes up even more and she says 'you're still wearing your ring' and I AM SCREAMING. WEDDING RING. ON WELLER'S FINGER. JANE BEING A COMBINATION OF HEARTBROKEN AND RELIEVED THAT HE'S STILL WEARING IT. JELLER ARE MARRIED. I REPEAT, JELLER ARE MARRIED. And ughhhhh he fiddles with it and just says 'yeah' and she looks like she's literally about two seconds from a complete breakdown. Oh god. Sometime in that two years, they literally got married. They planned on spending the whole rest of their lives together. And then SOMEONE (lookin' at you, Gero) forced Jane to leave. Because god knows she would never have left him willingly; only if she thought she had no other choice, and only to protect him. Ugh, I really, really hope they give us a good reason for this and not something that she should have just talked to him about and faced with him. Also uhh I've seen a strangely high number of people concerned that Weller is married to someone else??? Literally that would make zero sense, not only from the character perspective-- what, you think Mr Too-Choosy could somehow fall out of love with his soulmate Jane, meet someone else, and marry them, all within two years? Yeah, not gonna happen, son-- but also from a human-interaction perspective. If Weller somehow did marry someone else, firstly Jane wouldn't have hugged him the way she did bc something would have had to have gone super wrong between them for him ever to try to move on, and secondly she certainly would never have commented on him 'still wearing it' because that would already be her default expectation? He would have been married when she left, so of course he would still be married now. And that's not even to mention her visceral reaction to the ring-- that combination of devastation and involuntary gladness is so telling, bc on one hand deep down she's so happy to see him still wearing it because it means that he hasn't turned his back on her, that he still considers himself her husband and there's still hope for the two of them, but also devastation because his faithfulness only makes it more clear how much she's hurt him, and also hurts worse because she thinks (for an as yet unknown reason) that there's actually no way for them to ever be together again. And god I just feel so sad for both of them rn ughhhhhhhhhhhhhh. Why did you have to separate them, Gero, why???? (Well, for drama, I suppose, but honestly THAT'S A TERRIBLE REASON. LET COUPLES JUST BE TOGETHER AND HAPPY GODDAMMIT. TRUST ME IT CAN STILL BE GOOD TV.) And then ugh she's trying so hard not to cry and Weller can't bear to see that so he gets down to business, telling her she has to come back bc the other three have been kidnapped. Which is awful but tbh I'm more focused on how the others felt when Jane left? Did the kiddies feel like mom had abandoned them? Are they mad at her, on Weller's behalf as well as their own? Will they forgive her straight away and joyfully welcome her back when she and Weller rescue them, or will there be that distance and frostiness like at the start of last season? And Jane asks him if Roman was involved-- and while he doesn't know, this mention definitely bodes well for getting to see Roman next season. Then Weller pulls out a box with her name on it in the same style as his tattoo on her back (clearly they didn't get the memo about her new last name tho) and ugh he holds it out to her, telling her no one has been able to open it but that he has a theory-- and looks like he was right to come all this way to find her, bc only she can open it. Possibly even only the two of them together, but it's unclear if that’s the case. Also ok I really need to know, did he already know where she was, like Patterson had figured it out or something, but he'd just been giving her her space and had only come now that the others had been taken? Or did he only just find out now? In which case that’s pretty damn lucky timing... I mean I bet Patterson had been looking for her this whole time, so...? But anyhow there's a random metal disk thing inside the box, and it's only when Weller touches it with her that it shows a reflected image of her bird tattoo. And then because he's a smart boy, Weller lines it up with her bird tattoo and presses it against her skin, and suddenly Jane lights up like some kind of bioluminescent christmas tree. Surprise-- there's a whole new layer of tattoos to discover, with a whole new set of clues hidden within. Which is completely whack, but undoubtedly something among all that will lead to saving the others-- which means it’s something Weller can't do without her. And well, Jane, in the eternal wisdom of Smashmouth: you'll never know if you don't go, and you'll never shine if you don't glow...

And so that’s it. It's over. Another season, another cliffhanger that will haunt us for months-- and like last year, the question is 'Will Jane and Kurt ever be able to come back to one another?’ (Spoiler alert: the answer is yes. They will always come back to each other. Let’s just hope it doesn’t take a whole damn season this time....) But anyhow, thank you so much to everyone who has read these and liked/commented/sent me messages-- I've loved sharing these with you guys, and I'm glad you've loved them too. So cheers, and see you all next season :P