#anyways I haven't been much here bc I haven't been using my phone or laptop much

[a-zif]

i spent 4 hours painting doll shoes and i can feel the mental illness in my brain being cured

[dumbasswhatever]

Yoooooo I got a book that made me experience mental illness in a positive way, It's Omniscient Reader's Viewpoint. It's a korean webnovel. It's about Kim Dokja, who's an average office worker, who just finished reading a webnovel, Three Ways of Survival, and the sole reader to read it until the end. Then, everything that the novel was about actually happened, so now he is thrusted into this apocalyptic world and have to survive in it.

This novel makes me crazy bc it discuss the way some people who read to survive, to live another day. Is it voyeuristic to see the characters suffering in order to live? If the characters were right in front of you and know that you read their stories, will they hate you? Resent you? For only watching and never helping? Are you, the reader, absolved of your sins, to know that these tragedies are made for your consumption?

Usually novels that goes this route will slander the readers sayin that you are bad, but NO this novel said the characters will love you, for reading their stories, for being there in suffering and in happiness. The stories will love you so, so much it will try to save you, even if it means that the characters have to go through it, the damned timeloop, again and again, to see a happy ending with you. You are doomed by narrative but they will try again and again to save you, until the very end.

It's a love letters from authors to readers who read to survive, and it resonates with lots of people who read it. And it fucks so harddddd it uses all the so called cringe cliches and tropes and embrace it and it goes HARD. It's not a novel based on logic, it uses storytelling components like themes, tropes, cliches and such as world building materials and it flows smoothly.

Also Kim Dokja made me so ill, this bastard is so depressed, full of self-denial and suicidal. He adopts kid and became an absent father. Everytime he made a plan, it will include a) if don't work kill myself or b) if killing self don't work, escalate situation so it fucks everyone in vicinity, he keeps saying "oh i do this selfishly. Im gonna reach an ending where everyone i love live happily and i am doing this for myself and myself only". He thinks he is unlovable. His self-denial is so strong it's literally parts of his skills. His companions are going crazy cause this man CANNOT stop throwing himself headfirst into danger. Have I mentioned the queerest polycule ever between the book's protagonist, kim dokja, and a hack author? They all said that the really can't stand each other BUT THEY ALL LOVE EACH OTHER SO MUCH IT BECAME A DAMN UROBOROS OF A TIMELOOP, SAVING EACH OTHER AGAIN AND AGAIN.

Okay anyway I'm normal again. Read ORV if you want. But be warned cause many people aren't normal after reading it. Engard

alright alright sorry for the ever so late answer, i would have answered your ask right away but see i was... indecisive. i began reading orv about a year ago but i got about 70 chapters in and then got distracted. (NOTHING against orv here. i can get distracted and abandon literally any story ever. i still haven't finished watching the ace attorney anime.) and so i know already that i like orv and i think it is so very fun, and i have been thinking recently about getting into it again and maybe actually finishing it this time, but i wasn't totally sure if i should start now since i'm gonna be getting some books in at the library... but anyways i gave in and i am having a BLAST. love this little freak kim dokja. right now, dozens of people are trying to assassinate him and he's like "well don't worry about that we don't have to fight them. the monsters are about to appear." i have orv downloaded on both my phone and my laptop so i can read it while i brush my teeth and also while i eat cereal in the morning. who even needs youtube. i am going to be so annoying to my sister about this

[pennylanefics]

announcement, sort of?

i'm gonna be a bit transparent on here for a moment. i've deleted the tumblr app from my phone, my account's are all still here, i don't plan on deleting them, but i really just needed a break from it, even tho i've been accessing my dashboard on my laptop here and there

in all honesty, i've been questioning my role as a creator in this fandom. it recently has felt like such a competition between bigger blogs than the smaller blogs. i love sharing my work on here, and don't get me wrong, i have been getting a lot more feedback than i used to, but sometimes it still feels like i'm at the bottom of the barrel. other people post similar ideas and get way more interactions than i do, i rarely get asks complimenting me or even interacting, wanting to tell me how much they loved the fic, send me asks when i ask, and just in general.

ever since the beginning, i haven't felt very welcome in the fandom, until i found my people. and i am so thankful for them, and they're always so supportive, but sometimes, i wonder if it's worth it to continue posting greta stuff on here when only a handful of people are going to read it because many people would rather read other stuff from bigger blogs

there's nothing wrong with that, but when no one likes/reblogs my stuff, i lose motivation bc i assume no one wants to read or look at my content

so that's where i'm at. i'm still gonna be away from posting for probably a few more days, if not a week, until i come to a final decision bc i'm at such a loss. i want to share my stuff, but why should i waste the time and energy writing and making things that no one is going to read or enjoy? and i understand no one is obligated to read or share things, but most of my interactions come from tags and reblogs bc i don't have a ton of greta followers. anyways.

peace, for a little while longer i guess.

[willsimpforanyone]

Could you write smut for Alex fierro x she/they reader? Maybe stress relief or somethin?

ooo first magnus chase series request! pls bear in mind i haven't read all the books out and certainly not for a few years so i hope i don't make her too ooc? i've done some research and i think alex is amab so that's gonna play a part here, and i'm gonna use afab terminology for the reader

this is gonna be kinda influenced by my own experience of being fluid so i hope that's okay

alex and reader are also gonna be aged up bc he's forever 16 so this is gonna be a college au bc that's what i know best lol so both are 18+

---------------------------------

The word count said 876.

That was it? Three days work and my eyes were aching, there had been a low level headache for the past two hours and nothing was making sense any more.

I pushed away from my desk in frustration, my rolling chair taking me a little further than I had intended. It hit into the plate I'd left on my floor from having lunch at my desk, making an unpleasant clink-y sound that made me flinch and raise my hand to my head.

Today was not a good day.

In acceptance of that fact, I made sure my work was saved, closed my laptop and vacated the tiny space I called 'my office'. The kitchen was cooler and I pressed my hands to the cold countertop, sighing.

I wasn't sure how much time had passed before I heard keys jangling in the lock; it took a moment or two to realise oh! Alex had said she was coming round to make sure I was eating, of course, it wasn't a burglar. Also burglars don't have keys, generally.

Green Day was blasting through his (her? No, his) earphones and a bag full of groceries hung from his hand. He dumped the bag on the kitchen countertop and raised an eyebrow at my dishevelled appearance while putting away his phone.

"Hey sunshine, who died?"

I rolled my eyes at him, but smiled fondly. "My will to achieve academic success, for today at least."

He nodded understandingly, and gestured for me to help put away food.

"Alex, you gotta stop buying me food, I'm fine," I insisted as packets of noodles were pressed into my hands.

Alex shrugged, opening the fridge. "No, for two reasons. One-" Milk in the fridge door. "-you are unbelievably shit at feeding yourself, it's like you're a child. Two-" Vegetables in the bottom drawer. "-I like being able to buy things now and I run out of things to buy for me very quickly so it's food for you, 'kay?"

I laughed, only slightly reluctantly putting things away in cupboards. One of the cupboard doors slammed a little harder than I intended and I winced, cradling my head in my hands.

"What's up?" Alex gently pulled my hands from my head and gave me a look of genuine concern. "You doing okay?"

"Stress headache, coursework has been kicking my ass." I fumbled around for a glass of water. "I'll be fine, just need a break."

"Stressed?" Alex rifled through the bag abandoned on the counter, fishing out a pack of ibuprofen. "Shoulda told me, idiot, I'd have come over sooner and forced you to take a break."

I downed the medication and chuckled. "I'm only taking a break now because words have lost all meaning."

He shrugged. "And you should have stopped before that, but here we are, and I'm not letting you back into that pathetic room you call an office today."

For once, I didn't immediately resist, having already accepted that I would get no real work done today anyway. "Okay, okay, fine, so what's the plan, hm?"

A fun glint came into his eye. "Well, my darling partner, I do believe I have a method for dealing with stress that has proved popular in the past."

"Oh?" I slipped my arms around his waist and he rested his on my shoulders. "A bold claim, considering I'm pretty stressed about this essay thing, it's due in four days."

Alex grinned. "Okay, how about this- I'll help with the essay tomorrow. For the rest of today, I use my method of... de-stressing, sound good?"

His hands were already smoothing over my neck and playing with the neckline of my sweater. I hummed as he trailed his hands down the material and slipping his hands under it to rest on my waist.

I could already feel the tension from my shoulders slipping away little by little. Pressing a kiss to his lips, I grinned. "Well, how can I say no to the silver-tongued child of Loki?"

Before I knew it, I was swept off my feet and into Alex's arms. I laughed as (he? No... no, she was now a girl) she made her way through my tiny apartment to my bedroom and dropped me a little unceremoniously on the bed. Her green hair brushed into her eyes and I pushed it behind her ear.

"I noticed the change, by the way."

Her cheeks touched pink, the way they always did when she realised I paid enough attention to her to notice that her gender had changed, even if her appearance hadn't. "Oh hush, and sit up so I can get rid of that sweater, no matter how cute it looks on you." Always had to fluster me too, the little shit.

Obediently I sat up, tugging her forward by her belt loops and helping her get my sweater off. "Just so I know," she pressed the words into my neck. "Are, like, you okay with typically feminine shit today or?"

I rolled the words 'pretty' and 'girl' around my head. 'Pretty' felt fine, but I wasn't feeling 'girl' right now, and I told her so.

"Cool." Alex stripped of her green sweater vest, leaving her in a loose pink shirt and dark blue jeans. "No babygirl, just baby."

Nodding, I felt a rush of adoration towards her that we could communicate like this. I reached up to grasp the back of her neck and pulled her into a kiss, all tongue and teeth as she almost flopped on top of me. She tore herself away, grabbing my wrists and playfully pinning me to the bed.

"Now, now, sunshine, you're the focus here, stop trying to take control."

I rolled my eyes. "Then get on with it, I'm supposed to be de-stressing here."

"Demanding fucker," Alex teased. She placed my hands on the bed near my head, and gave me a stern look I took to mean 'don't fucking move them'.

My legs were suddenly bare as Alex stripped away the material and knelt between them. "Mhm, gorgeous, just as I thought."

I nudged her with my knee. "Shut up."

"How dare you, absolutely not." She winked at me and shimmied downwards until her face was level with my underwear. "If you don't want compliments, stop looking so fucking fine."

I didn't get a chance to reply when she dived forward and licked the material covering my pussy. I gasped, sharp and sudden, and Alex's cocky smirk could barely be seen from between my thighs.

Her lips danced along my skin, one hand round a thigh and the other preemptively holding my hips down. "So pretty," she murmured, teeth just grazing my sensitive inner thigh, so close to where I wanted her but just out of reach.

I whined. "Alex, come on."

"Again, so demanding." She grinned, but hooked her fingers under the elastic of my underwear and dragged them down, throwing them somewhere in my room. Her eyes widened in delight. "Well, sunshine, you needed some relaxation, hm?" A finger reverently slid down my folds and I shivered- Alex pulled it away and admired the shininess on it. "So wet, baby, it could almost be called adorable."

"Oh, fuck yo-"

Two fingers slid inside me, and my words caught in my throat at the sudden, but not unwelcome, intrusion.

"What was that, sunshine?" Alex's shit-eating smile appeared above me as I panted, pumping her fingers at a steady pace. "Have something to say?"

I shook my head fiercely, relishing in the way my body relaxed under her touch. My headache was fading minute by minute, the tension seeping out my shoulders as I let myself forget everything else but Alex.

Her fingers felt heavenly, a thumb coming just to rest on my clit. She rearranged her hand slightly, crooking at exactly the right angle to have my back arching away from the sheets and pressing my chest into her. Alex buried her face in my neck, humming appreciatively at the panting moans I couldn't seem to stop escaping my lips.

All of a sudden I was empty, Alex had withdrawn her fingers and I whined almost pathetically at the loss of the feeling.

"Aww, don't worry baby," Alex's voice was slightly muffled as she stripped of the rest of her clothes. "I just thought you'd want something a little different."

Eyes widening, I nodded frantically and watched with fascination and anticipation as I watched her slip on a condom, hissing slightly.

It was only a few seconds before she was back, hovering over me and decorating my throat with red marks. Her lips danced up to my ear. "You ready?"

"Gods yes, Alex, please!"

I felt her lips curve into a smirk, and she pushed into me with one swift motion.

My toes curled and my fingers fisted in her hair as she began to hammer against me, hips meeting mine at a furious pace. Her nails dug into my legs as she used them for momentum, the slightly pain coursing through my veins and adding a new flavour to the pleasure she was giving me.

She kept up an impressive pace and I was wound so tight it wasn't long before Alex was reaching down a hand to swirl figure-eights into my clit.

Words weren't a possibility right now, overwhelmed by the glorious feeling of her fucking me into the mattress. I clung to her and make incoherent sounds of pleasure and desperation, mumbling something about needing to come, please, fuck Alex please please let me come please...!

"Come for me, that's it, so good, my beautiful one..." Alex's whispered encouragements in my ear drove me to the edge and pushed me off, and I threw my head back as I let out a choked cry as my orgasm crashed into me at full force.

From the low groan and stuttering of her hips, I vaguely recognised that Alex had come a moment after me.

We lay together, quiet and relaxed. My mind was pleasantly a little fuzzy and Alex was warm and soft and I whined longingly when she pulled out to get rid of the condom and get a towel. Always so careful, she smoothed the damp towel over my thighs and I shivered at the cold feeling. She smiled softly.

"Give me a minute, my sunshine, I'll be back."

Reluctantly I let her go, sitting up when she returned with a glass of water for me. "Drink it all and then we can have a nap, hm?"

I nodded, taking the glass with slightly shaky hands. Alex grinned and pressed a kiss to my cheek.

"So, how was that for stress relief?"

------------------------------------

i really really hope this was okay? thank you so much for requesting!

[justjstuff]

excuse me ma'am

Yellow and Brown plz if you haven't already answered 🥰

ma’am ily <3 

Yellow: What’s a common writing tip that you mostly ignore?

R: This one I already answered but I couldn’t find it lmfaoooo Anyway, the first time I answered I actually had to google writing tips bc it’s been so long since I cared about anything resembling “formal” writing or whatever. My result nowadays comes from just practicing a lot, reading a lot and then editing my own things trying to read it like I would someone else’s work. I change the font size and type to help with that. But yeah?? I don’t actually follow or ignore the tips, the ones I checked during my quick google search sounded okay :)

Brown: Do you have a set writing space? Or do you write everywhere?

R: I have my laptop setup in my room, I say setup bc it doesn’t work without being connected to the power anymore lol yeah I wish I had the money to change things over here. I used to write pretty much anywhere before the panini, ngl. Most of my school years were spent writing either on several notebooks or the ipad I had to use for class. You already know this but when I moved to Australia I used to write in my lil notebook while in the tram lol, a lot of DoF was planned during those commutes xD I’m your usual basic bitch, and I will sit in any coffee shop with whatever I have available to write lol The only thing I really hate doing is writing on my phone but I will still do it if there’s no other option. 

[judesstfrancis]

so I was late to asking u things and I don't want u to have to repeat yourself so answer all the questions in the thing that you haven't already answered thank u 😌

the way I had to pull out my laptop to answer these bc I couldn’t keep them straight on my phone clipboard................ fdskjfsdkj I think I’m gonna put most of these under a read more so they don’t take up too much dash space. thank u!! <3

zinc white; how are you really feeling today? no one-word answers please!

honestly I’m great! it is currently almost 2 in the morning but my day was nice, I got some new clothes, did my laundry, made a good dinner...good vibes all around, loving it for me rn

yellow ochre; name an artist/band whom you just discovered & can’t get enough of!

I haven’t really listened to a lot of new music lately dkfjskj I think the most recent new artist I started listening to was orville peck?? but that was back in like february

naples yellow; where do you feel most at home?

uhh when I’m at home. yes I’m a homebody <3

raw sienna; with whom do you feel most at home? 

truly it’s with the thots I just feel so at ease

golden ochre; describe the relationship you have with your closest friend.

it’s just easy, u know? like no matter what we’re doing, even if we’re just vibing on our own together, it’s nice. I can tell them absolutely anything and it’s not weird and I don’t have to force it out at all

cadmium orange; what do you like to do on your days off?

ok first I always see if any of my friends are busy fkdjsfkj and if they aren’t I see if they wanna just chill or w/e but otherwise just like. turning some music up and sitting in my room with a book/a couple movies I love is ideal for me on a day off. I am very simple I just like to chill

orange lake; do you have anyone you can turn to when you’re sad?

yes! there are two whole people in this world that I spill absolutely everything to bc I trust them with my life and esp when I’m sad bc they always make me feel better. talking to them when I’m having A Day is like I vent and instantly I am normal again. they know who they are I’m sure but for transparency’s sake, it’s u (robin) and maya, no one else gets to unlock my tragic backstories <3

titans; do you prefer slow mornings or relaxing evenings? 

relaxing evenings!

shakhnazaryan red; are you currently binge-watching anything? 

actually I am currently rewatching cycles 1 through 22 of america’s next top model, I’m on like cycle 5 rn I think. having the time of my life, thanks for asking

red ochre; are you more right-brained (creative) or left-brained (analytical)?

I am very much more into creative endeavors, like work-wise, but I feel like the way I think about things is much more analytical. like I prefer Making things, writing or various crafts or what have u, but even when I create I think about the things I’m doing like analytically?? so ig left-brained

burnt sienna; is there a painting that brings you peace when you look at it? 

boy with squirrel by john singleton copley. I love him

english red; what animal do you relate to most?

interesting question! I have no idea. maybe birds? like a finch, maybe. they seem like they have fun

cadmium red; do you have a “type” when it comes to a significant other? 

this one is hard for me to answer bc like. I truly have no idea what a “type” is idk if that’s an ace thing or what. no? maybe? all the people I’ve had crushes on have been vastly different, in terms of like physical looks so probably not actually. I’m not attracted to muscular people tho bc I don’t think they have feelings <3

carmine; what does your ideal second date look like?

once again I have never pictured a date. I just want to hold hands! I think for the ideal first date question I said it just had to be going somewhere where we could Do things together, like walking around a museum or going through shops downtown or something, and that does still apply here, but for the sake of shaking it up, uhh...idk maybe staying in and watching a movie. like not at a theater no one needs to know my business like that but like. at a House. whoever’s, I’m not picky, again ideally I just want to hold hands.

madder lake red; would you ever kiss someone (or accept a kiss) on a first date?

yes. literally if the first thing u do is kiss me I am okay with it. I’m 23 someone just take the shot and kiss me already I’m going crazy over here

quinacridone rose; what’s something you’re really looking forward to? 

really looking forward to the holidays personally I got everyone some really good gifts this year and I can’t wait to hand them out. also my copy of 13 storeys is supposed to finally ship out this week, for real this time! so that’s exciting too

violet rose; what does your dream house look like? 

u know that idealized house with the yellow paint and the white trim? yes. just small and cute and homey

violet; is there any place in particular you’d like to settle down? 

I guess not?? I’d like to be somewhere near my mom bc she’s important to me but like. as long as I’m living with someone I love it doesn’t really matter where I don’t think

blue lake; what would you like to do/accomplish before you settle down?

uh. settling down to me equates to like falling in love and living together so honestly that could happen any time. I need to get a job before we live together so I can like Help Out but like. really any time

cobalt blue spectral; what is the most beautiful place you have ever been to?

I have not been to a lot of places! I’ve been to new york, and san diego, and like. phoenix outside of where I live so. actually if I can include like buildings in places I would like to say that one opera house I went to in new york. I learned I wasn’t a fan of operas BUT I also learned those chandeliers were cool as hell

ultramarine; when was the last time you were in a good mood? do you know/remember what sparked it?

I’m usually in a good mood, I think? my baseline mood is genuinely just like. happy/chill, pero I think the last time I felt Euphoria (tm) was a couple days ago when my mom and I made a really nice dinner together and my brother was there and we just played board games all night

blue; what’s the most recent dream you remember?

I have this recurring habit of waking up from dreams but only barely so when I fall back asleep it feels like I just woke up within the dream? anyway the last one was like that but in one of the times I ‘woke up’ I looked out the window and instead of outside there was like this. static photo of buffalo grazing in open fields?? and it was like green screened kinda, so when I move the image moved with my line of sight it was weird. that’s how I knew it was a dream and woke myself up again, only to immediately fall back asleep and feel like I was waking up from a dream within a dream again

bright blue; what does your dream family look like? any kids or pets? how many of each?

I think living with friends would be cool. like I want to have a significant other I live with but also if we lived with other friends that would be fun. kids, maybe! would be something I’d have to discuss with whatever partner I have in the future. if yes to kids, max two. also I don't want babies, preferably I would adopt older children. pets absolutely, however many doesn’t matter. I’m open to just living in a house with the love of my life and like twelve dogs, that’s ok with me

blue cobalt; do you like your name? would you give yourself a different name if you could?

I do like my name! I think it’s nice and it feels like it fits me. I don’t think I’d change it ever, but if I did I think maybe I’d go with jude bc yes I do love to project <3

prussian azure; what’s your favorite scent?

it’s a tie between suntan lotion and the lumber aisle of any hardware store

azure blue; what’s your favorite type of tea, if any?

vanilla rooibos tea supremacy!

turquoise blue; if you could start a garden, what would you plant?

lots of flowers, first of all. also some kitchen herbs. maybe some fruits!

cerulean blue; if you were guaranteed to have a viewership, would you start a youtube vlog?

yes <3 I want to force people to listen to my pretentious horror opinions and get paid for it

glauconite; describe your body without using any negative adjectives.

look I just have to say it: I’m hot. last night I took a photo and saw my nose from the side and went “omg who IS she” like it’s cute. I’M cute. I’ve seen my ass in the mirror and nothing can top it, sorry

yellow green; picture yourself walking in a field. what do you see & hear in this scenario?

all I’m getting is those scenes from horror movies where eerie whistling starts and like birds start going crazy

green light; are you in a comfortable place in life? if not, what do you think might make it better?

I think so?? I’d like to be more financially secure, pero. I think for the most part yeah I’m alright

green; name three countries you want to visit; do you have any actual plans in place to visit any of them?

ireland and greece for sure, ireland is the one I have most planned out in my head. ig maybe england for the third one, just bc I know my mom wants to go and also I’m very bad at geography so I don’t know what counts as a country. I had to look all these up, I do want to visit them tho, genuinely! esp ireland

emerald green; do you speak any languages besides english? are there any additional languages you want to learn?

the one I’m most fluent in is spanish! and I’m still cracking along at russian, currently I can hold a conversation with like a 4 year old and we can understand each other, it’s pretty cool. I really wanna get into learning irish!! I have a few resources downloaded onto my phone I just haven’t gotten around to it yet

oxide of chromium; what’s your favorite book?

a little life <3 yes I hate it when things are sad just to be sad yes this is my favorite book I contain multitudes

mars brown; what’s a movie that always puts a smile on your face/makes you laugh?

the burbs! I’ve seen it so many times but it always hits

burnt umber; what’s something you plan to do before the day is over to take care of yourself?

the day IS over it’s like two thirty am now but uh. drink some water before I sleep probably

voronezhskaya black; what or who is your go-to outlet for when you need to vent?

I post the “kirby’s fucking pissed” meme on twitter and then I ask u (robin) if I can yell for like five minutes and then I feel valid and then I am normal again

payne’s gray; describe your aesthetic?

it’s a little bit jock and it’s a little bit 1980s skater boy but the best way I can really Describe it is just “gay”