#anyways time to get ready for school
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I have an angsty hc i would like to share with the class today: (inspired by a convo i had with @aannonn)
We all know how Green is considered good at everything? And how it’s a contrast to his first appearance in AVA 4, where he was visibly being beat up. Now he’s considered the second (lol) best fighter, only behind… Second.
Honestly, I’ve interpreted that as him getting better at fighting and building and stuff not just for himself, but so his friends can be proud of him, too. He doesn’t do it for himself, he wants his friends validation, too, that he’s done something amazing. He wants them to be proud of him, since he doesn’t feel like he’s enough for them. And so he sticks by them; (lol sticks) he’s considered to be very loyal among the group. (Or, it’s so he can protect his friends, so they would never get hurt again. In that which he feels as though he failed)
But. We’ve seen in Build Battle how they kind of… don’t celebrate his achievements. They’ve become used to him being good at everything that it’s almost expected of him. He wants their approval, but just ends up with getting his builds blown up, or summoning a Wither. And the entire thing with NBC, which i’m not going to dive into but yeah. Basically, his achievements become what’s expected of him, and from his perspective, it starts to feel diminished, or that they don’t appreciate him. (But he still tries to get their praise)
Thing is, I thought that Green has been a validation seeker for a long time now, but now in this arc, he gets it. Not from his friends, but from the internet. But a part of him still hopes he could be enough for them. (But he ends up hurting them, thinking that he doesn’t need their help to feel validated anymore. We saw how well that turned out)
So basically, because all of that didn’t make any sense and was me rambling my hc is: Green has been a validation seeker for a long time now, but it’s his friends, rather than social media. Now, though, he thinks he doesn’t need it from them. (Because he’s not enough for them, and when they finally come back from where they are hiding, he’ll never be enough for them after what he did.)
His character… AUGHHHHHH- his character…
#this is my hc and my personal interpretation from personal experience#ghost yells for no one to hear#for the record#I am NOT villainizing the CG or excusing Green from his actions#there’s just miscommunication. lots of it.#this did not make sense whatsoever but becker team i need you to acknowledge this#i might be rambling to a brick wall but i had this hc ever since concert of noteblocks that went up in flames#this still doesn’t make sense but gifted kid syndrome told me to write this lol#the funny thing is can’t help it and windmill already said this for me#…fic time? school says no.#green needs a hug man.#anyways time to get ready for school#ava influencer arc#ava green#alan becker#animator vs animation#green influencer arc#I FORGOT TO TAG LOL-
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thinkin bout how jazz was taller than orion at the beginning of the movie lol
#jazzop#jazz transformers#optimus prime#orion pax#jazzpax#tf jazz#transformers optimus#tf one#transformers one#tf one fanart#maccadam#doodle#they are SO SILLY TO ME#in case y’all can’t tell i’m finally off school for christmas break and have time to DRAW again so get ready for an insane amount of art LO#okay anyway i think jazz should pick up orion and then optimus should pick up jazz as revenge#they’re SO CUTIE#anywho if y’all got drawing prompts of them for me please please PLEASE send them i wanna draw more of them#sharky’s art tag
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they were boys together !!!
#every time i think about these two sat on the bus in their little school uniforms i start sobbing uncontrollably#paul mccartney#george harrison#beatles#beatles fanart#p + g#i think about them meeting as like little tiny 11/12 year olds or whatever and then growing up together and being beatles and falling out#and then coming back together but never fully going back to how it once was and i just go insane#mcharrison is the secret even more tragic yaoi in the beatles you lot are just not ready to hear it#as someone who is a george in one friend group (continually babied and underestimated bc im the youngest) i get him#but as an actual oldest sibling and also generally a paul coded person i also get pauls perspective like pipe down pipsqueak 🗣️#as a designated baby friend sometimes u just have to accept the abuse unfortunately for george and how can he not when he was SO SO tiny#bro was never gonna live down that 9 month age gap i fear#he is 3 apples tall !! u just KNOW he was so pissed off when he finally got the growth spurt and was still shorter than paul by an inch#anyway stream inspite of all the danger (mccartney harrison) :3
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blossica while I struggle through school work
#reverse 1999#blonney#blonney reverse 1999#jennifer woods#jessica reverse 1999#changeling reverse 1999#My art#There’s some stuff on there that’s just messy cause I ran out of motivation to fix it. It would be way past October by the time my#Perfectionism decided it was ready to post so I’m just posting it anyway. I might fix it later idk I just want to draw tooth fairy but#School life is taking my time and energy. Hopefully I’ll get to it before Halloween
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headcanon that scorpius was a sick child and was in and out of hospital constantly, perhaps related to astoria's blood curse but not directly. his immune system isnt very strong, and everytime he gets sick they're terrified that it's the blood curse but also whatever else it could be, because it's always so sudden and so intense and they call healers over to the house who recommend this delirious feverish 4 year old is hospitalised immediately, and you'd think it'd get easier to some extent because they'd be used to it, but everytime they feel like this is it, this is the time he'll walk in to the hospital and not walk out again
#this headcanon has no purpose im just thinking of scorpius in bed like a sickly victorian child with scarlet fever or something#asking if he'll make it to sunrise lmfao#so then he hates hospitals with a passion#my friend from school was in them constantly he was even a make a wish kid and he can not fucking stand the places so#headcanon scorpius becomes a healer anyway lmao#im sick and this is how im coping by putting baby scorp in hospital lmfao#it just made draco that little bit more protective#lucius made an insensitive comment about it once and draco was ready to throw hands#this headcanon doesnt really go anywhere ive just decided scorpius was a sick child#he has sick child energy lmfao#he still knows some of his doctors/healers because he was there so frequently#just imaging lil scorp in a hospital bed and draco and astoria are sleeping in the room on like uncomfortable chairs and the fever finally#breaks and hes like uh daddy im hungry and its like 4am but draco couldnt care less cause scorp hasnt been able to eat anything for days#let alone ask for food directly and baby scorp is wondering why his parents are acting so damn weird just cause he asked for some toast#but once hes grown up whenever he gets sick its on such a lower level than what it used to be when he was a kid because his immune system#got better that he struggles to gauge when other people would usually stop trying to do daily activities and albus has to start wrestling#scorpius back to bed instead of going to class cause scorpius really youre practically dying and hes like pfff you wanna see dying? use tha#timeturner one more time and go back to see me at literally any point between 2 and 10 i am FINE#(he absolutely was not fine)#scorpius malfoy#albus potter#draco malfoy#hpcc#scorbus#this is so many tags im so sorry
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they need to invent a cure for being 20 years old that isnt excruciating
#HELLO#DOES ANYONE KNOW WHAT THEYRE DOING. OR ARE WE ALL PLAYING PRETEND#anyway. getting ready to take out a school loan 👍 if you couldnt tell#time to study calculus! i guess!#its for the fish.... its for the rivers....
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daily whistlebreeze until ki becomes PoV day 1553
the results of the prompts challenge are in (and have been for a while, but I have been distracted <3) and Stretchkit and Rustlekit are here to assist Whis with the planning.
as you have voted to have a full month of Whisses, I have decided that this will happen in July. I can't really do it earlier because I need to focus on my exams in June. I have already prepared the prompts and I will share them when July approaches (in the meantime I'll try to cobble a pretty image for it together)
#warrior cats#whistlebreeze#stretchkit#rustlekit#windclan#medicine cat#kit#meanwhile I have found a way to not absolutely feel enraged by the AppleFlutter kits#dgmw I am the one and only AppleFlutter (platonic) fan but I feel like it is simply way too early for them to have kits#but both of them are barely two years old and I just don't feel like they should already be parents#they're like. the cat equivalent of two 23-25 year olds and it's too early#(calculated in the weird way of Whis just getting faer full name and pretending that's a med school training and thus somewhere between 5-7#I'd like them to have been older when the kittens are born#but I've just thought bout them being kids Apple and Flutter found ditched somewhere by the border and adopted#it'd still be their kits but feel like a less annoying explanation than them feeling ready to have kits (they are not)#I don't think they'd be the best parents but I also have a bit of a weak spot for young adults suddenly becoming responsible for younger#characters and having to Be Serious now about it#they wouldn't be bad parents but Apple isn't really the Serious type and while Flutter is DEFINITELY the main caretaker and in the nursery#he wouldn't really know what to do either and fail to know what the kids really feel/need#anyways this is the AppleFlutter kids spiel I had planned for a while#this and the fact that every young cat is part of the same family both hit me at the same time and I got mad#I am still mad about the family tree#but Stretch and Rustle are fine kids; just born too early and I'm going to make that a problem#no more Healthy and Stable Young parents#Apple and Flutter are not that and I will play into it
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OMGOMGOMG THIS LIKE THE MOST NOTIFS IVE EVER GOTTEN🤩🤩🤩
#potato in ur walls#I just woke up too#I’ll be doing them throughout the time so be patient plss#anyways gtg get ready for school😭
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having a tumblr blog of uhhh 13 years really gives you perspective. Girl look at the shit you posted at 22. Your mind was a fucking prison lmaooo
#I was looking for an old-ass post I remembered from way back when#and wow. being 22 is some fresh hell.#I was simultaneously the most insecure and most vain person of al time#I don’t know if it’s age or like being in antidepressants regularly or just having stability in life#…anyway. I did find the post#first semester of med school posting: oops! I really like pulmonology! catch me running your local icu in nine years!#… well that was 10 years ago. lol. catch me running your local icu in 6 months#alas.#I would never go back ever ever#if you’re 22 right now just know - wow it gets so much better#anyway! day off!!! I’m drinking my coffee and getting ready to write!!!!#eih as of yesterday=about 6k words.#🙌🙌🙌
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i made this post on my old blog about what touch is like for my ocs and by some miracle i just realized i saved it so i’m gonna rewrite it here 😁
#and pretend to be normal#also using this day to organize pins and dynamic tags specifically for ‘postmortem’ and werewolf oc#until uhhh 4 i think and then i’m unfortunately busy#i think i’ll be a lot busier for the next few months until fall ? although i still have to register for classes for the fall semester#found an online school since i can’t afford transport to the community college here#i’m hoping to be moved out by then so that works out perfectly#oh! and the summer job i said i was gonna get 😭 i cannot work with other adults i have a temper and also extreme anxiety so i’m basically#doing more babysitting#but at least since it’s summer i won’t be getting up early to get kids ready - it’s mostly a lot of late nights and overnight nannying whil#*while#the parents work long hours#anyway! yeah random update on life right now. in terms of moving i’m either gonna do a trip with my sister or best friend later in the#summer/beginning of fall to look at places and explore a bit#i’m remaining positive that things work out for me this year or at least trying to be. it’s been way past time for me to move on and live m#own life#especially now that my siblings are grown minus my brother but he turns 18 this year and he’s made some plans for his life#and i’m happy for him :) feels good to know he knows what he wants to do and has goals especially with how hard these past few years have#been for him#trying hard to ignore all the guilt settling in the pit of my stomach when i think about leaving but i know this is the best thing i can do#for myself. and for them i think. hopefully also for my mom#okay anyway. rambling my bad#t
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more tracks than necessary
#life is finally getting back to normal and im so glad#sad that my college friends are heading back to school but also excited for them#ready to get to hang out with my mom-friends who've been busy this summer#got new shoes for the japan trip#also did a small thredup haul and got some adorable stuff#(thanks mother in law for gift card)#trying to catch up on my reading goal for the year but japanese study has been taking up a lot of my time#anyway im eating leftover quesedillas for breakfast before work love u bye#madisons life#madison cooks
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omw to school now chat!! 😸
#Mini vent bc im not ok haha:#So i literally cant stop shaking and ws barely able to breathe when i ws getting ready + ws hyperventilating the whole time.#Feel about a split second away from starting to cry again.#Mother left like 5 minutes before the taxi ws meant to get here bc she had to bring cat to the vet.#So she ws js like 'sorry i cant help :[ oh btw you gotta get ur shit together in <5min for school bye' which. Um. Yeah.#So i had about 3 minutes of breakdown time before i had to get my shit together and now i gotta sit through 6 hours of random bs probably w#a bunch of catch up work bc i wasnt in last week when we properly went back. So ive missed like 3 days worth of lessons.#So 6 hours worth of random bs + extra catch up work (besides the fact im also behind in a bunch of shit anyways bc i joined the class late.#& i'll probably have a thousand and one teachers 'checking on' me. All they want to hear is just another fucking lie of me saying im ok bc#Im too much of a fucking burden to not be. Even if i say im not ok the most ill probably fucking get is a shitty cup of tea and 5 minutes t#sit in the hall being gawked at for having the audacity to not be ok.#Spooks isnt in today. My other friend might be? Crimson might be? And Star might be? So idfk.#I dont want to make fake fucking conversation i dont really want to talk ever or do anything.#I dont feel able to exist right now. But i cant not?? So! Hn. Guess its fucking school instead.#Um. Yeah. Sorry?( I guess? Not really.) For this chat.#See you guys later.
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the miserable angry person I become when I haven't eaten is, in a word, atrocious. it is 9pm I have not had my dinner murder is about to be on the menu if I don't fix this soon
#i spent. SO LONG (5min) trying to iron a shirt that would NOT be ironed#and then SO LONG (60 seconds) futilely trying to shove the ironing board closed (gave up and left)#and now i want to CRY because i CANT STAND INDECISIVE YOUNG MEN#what is going ON in your BRAIN if you would COMMUNICATE i might UNDERSTAND!!!!! WHAT is the struggle WHAT is going on#if you were INTERESTED as so many people have CLAIMED YOU WERE why didn't you SAY anything why didn't you DO anything!!!!!!!!!!#LIFE IS LITERALLY SO SHORT WHAT IS GOING ONNNN I CANNOT SIT HERE WAITING FOR YOU FOREVER I CANNOT !!!!!#they said it might be because you had qualms about long distance. BOY I WOULD'VE GIVEN LONG DISTANCE AN ENTHUSIASTIC SHOT#not to be like. once again i am the one more interested i am the one so ready to open my heart i am the one more invested#but like. dude. we live in an age of technology. if you want to get to know me. TEXT ME I'M LITERALLY IN THE SAME COUNTRY!!!!!!!#also what a day this has been. i agreed to teach sunday school (i am burned out and felt dread the whole time and then after i said yes)#and then socialized with too many people and then spent about 2 hours commuting and then came home and watched a romcom#that was happy that made me sad because it was happy. i too would like to be treated tenderly and pursued intentionally for once. anyways#in the same day one friend got engaged to her best friend and one friend got involved with a horrible boy and the whiplash was Horrendous#also if you cant tell i am indeed on my period and feel like too much and not enough lol i need to be alone for a little while
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the longer i sit with it the more it really gets me how nobody ever really mentions obito and rin before obito's reveal in shippuden. kakashi vaguely mentions his old friends and i think other characters allude to the tragedy of kakashi's past but rin and obito themselves are lost to time. something about that is so fucking haunting and so gutting. you would think it would be a pretty big deal that two kids from the same class died within a year of each other, but the nine tails attack probably wiped so much clean that nobody could really carry the grief... still, when we see their class in flashbacks, we recognise almost everyone else, so... there's something really sad and hopeless about their absence...
there's a lot a LOT to say about it from a lot of different angles and i don't really feel like going into meta posting territory i just have big feelings about it you know? and to me i guess obito encapsulates a lot of the anger. for the people who get left behind and forgotten. and that can mean a lot of things
#two of my classmates died on separate occassions in short span of time in high school and i wont claim that grief because#i didnt know either of them well but i did feel a lot of anger and overwhelming hopelessness. that life keeps relentlessly going on#even when people get left behind#it feels so unfair and so painful... there are so many more aspects to it though as well#like people who are left behind in other ways due to circumstance or class or race or etc etc- often a combination of those factors#and obito as a kid reminds me a lot of a good friend i had when i was little who was late to class every day#because of those outside circumstances#and again someone in high school who i was late WITH every day. because ya#and i feel very big about that. and about rins death as something so fucking preventable#the tragedy also of baby teacher minato who was so so not ready to be in charge of anyone. but. that's something else#anyway i guess i just really feel a connection with that anger and despair#sorru was watching niji and felt fucking insane about it#obito and rin are like two sides of one thing. maybe of one person. of one concept#part of why i'm so so crazy about obito being trans is because i see him as also using rin's memory as a conduit for#his anger and grief about his own lost younger self. hence: baby obito is also a little girl#i think they are best friends. its so important. idk none of this is wider narrative meta#its just my feelings about them in particular#haunting dead girl and the ghost who has to carry on and can't rest
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ehehehhehehehehehehehhehdhdndksjdb
OH MY GOD LONG HAIR DOWN HONG LU I'M GONNA LOSE IT!!!! I NEED HIM. I NEED HIM CARNALLY. I NEED HIM IN MY BEDROOM. I BET WE'D HAVE REALLY GOOD BED CHEM.
ahem. Sorry about that he's really hot. Would. Next question. I'm excited!! May 15th and everything about my self ship dynamic with him will change forever!!(Probably)
#snowfall#jadebun#gemstone#I-Im sorry I promise I'm normal most of the time#It's been a long Hong Lu content drought but he's here now#May 15th is after I get out of school too!!#Blind reactions to this are gonna be crazy#Anyways get ready for more ship art it's not going to stop
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#ooc || [out of character]#eh not much or any activity from me today#had a busy Sunday and just wasnt in the mood to write unfortunately#BUT schools closed tomorrow so I have free time!#will def try getting more drafts done#anyways I hope everyone has had a nice weekend.#also cant wait for spring break next month. so ready for that week off
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