#anyways. trying to be compassionate even tho every cell in my body is saying 'just fucking read'

[solemntitty]

distinctly remembering how my college statistics prof was like 'yeah so see we have taught students to be good at problem solving it's problem identification that is something i aim to teach' and every day I think abt that tbh

[dungeons-and-divination]

WIZARD School of NECROMANCY - VERDAN - Haunted one

Okay, let’s say I messed up a little on Verdan's lore. I read about them, and I know they're born from a mutation caused by caos, more or less. At the end of the day, I decided that rules are meant to be broken and why not, this could work. All magic could be drawn from the cosmic caos and mess up someone enough to change them into something else, anyway. And with that, I’ll leave you to it.

Name: Apalasin (became a Verdan just 6-7months ago)

TAROTS

Mind: Two of cups (upright) I loved this card for Apalasin. They obviously are a troubled soul because of their past (duh, their background is literally haunted one!), but this tarot card convey how much they still shine with a special spark despite all of the deep wounds they had to suffer. They like to be around people and everyone they meet notice this. Apalasin attracts people to them in some way. I gotta say, I do think of Apalasin as a romantic person too, maybe it’s because I don’t picture them as necessarily the very bubbly and over the top kind of charming, but more of a very polite, always with a smile on their face and happy to have a pleasant conversation with people walking down the streets kinda person.

Body: Five of cups (upright) Yeah, it had to be expected that there was gonna be this looming grief for poor Apalasin somewhere in the reading. And that I picture them as a romantic, I immediately leaned on this being a lost lover for which Apalasin feels a deep regret. It’s almost like they feel guilty for letting their lover down or even like Apalasin is sure their responsible for theirs lover demise. Yet, this card has also this twist of trying to look at the bright side, to not cry over the things you lost… How could I not see that meaning on body as Apalasin repressing his guilt and pretending like they were completely over their problems?

Spirit: Page of cups (upright) An entire “cups” read was not what I expected for Apalasin’s personality, but I guess it fits them very well. Because after that whole ordeal in their past, I do figure they would try to connect more with their more youthful side. They know life is very short, after all, and they would probably want to really enjoy it to the fullest. Yet, they saw so much pain that they couldn’t help but be loyal, affectionate and kind to others. So, like I already said, I don’t necessarily picture them as bubbly. Curious for sure, affectionate too. But to give an overall definition of them, they are more of a Introverted Extrovert than a total Extrovert, if it makes sense at all. 

Past: Two of pentacles (reversed) So, this tarot is very much centered on difficulties in maintaining balance, being overwhelmed and put under pressure because of it. And at first I was struggling to understand the context of it. So I drew from the deck again, and ended up with the Eight of swords reversed (yes, I forgot to put this one in the photo, sorry). It quickly cleared up to me that Apalasin was imprisoned and the struggle was probably them trying to maintain some kind of faked loyalty to the person holding them hostage while still trying to break free, both them and the person they loved. Especially cause the Eight of swords usually means that you have the abilities necessary to break free. Quite the tragic story... 

Present: The Empress (upright) I immediately felt like this card was related to their “spirit” tarot. Because this one is also related to finding a softer side and exploring emotions. And while I do think that once Apalasin breaks free they probably have a freaking breakdown, I also kind of relate this card to that need to be gentle to a world that was very mean to them. I do think Apalasin would be very nurturing, like I said multiple times at this point, friendly in a very gentle way. I don’t exclude them really leaning into that femminine side. 

Future: Strength (upright) Still keeping in line with the whole read, this is a card that tells it all. It talks about inner strength, about being compassionate not only to the outside world, but to oneself. Which, considering Apalasin is gonna be relevant I suppose. Like usual, a suggestion related to this: slowly be more open about Apalasin’s true feeling, less repressed and closed off on their past, more willing to admit that they need the help of others as much as they as willing to give away all of them so that no one has to suffer like Apalasin did. Slowly build their courage to face whatever fears and anxieties might arise while playing (and I do suggest having them discovering some unusual fears once they get out into the world, since they have lived all their life sheltered, like I’ll explain in a little bit).

FULL BACKSTORY

Born a goblin in imprisonment in the secret laboratory of the necromancer Lord Threz Amilak, Apalasin saw their father Javeed die because of the tortures and experiments the necromancer was doing on the other goblins in the dungeon Apalasin lived all of their goblin life. Apalasin’s mother, Tansy, was “lucky” enough to be the personal servant of Lord Threz during the Lord’s experiments and one day she mysteriously vanished, leaving everyone in the cell to wonder if she managed to escape or what happened to her. They all just knew that no remains was left of her to deal with for her successor as the personal servant. Apalasin suffered many years of torture, but they at least had Zehra, another prisoner that was sweet enough to always take care of them when Apalasin was hurt (and so did Apalasin with her).  After watching many other servants disappoint their “Master” and meet a very unfortunate end, Apalasin himself was chosen as the new personal servant. Seeing it as a chance to maybe find out what happened to Tansy, Apalasin decided to be the best servant Lord Threz ever had, while still watching and learning as much as they could. During those years it was mostly Apalasin taking care of Zehra after witnessing her being tortured, Apalasin not being able to really stop Lord Threz in any way without their plain of running away being discovered. The two of them still managed to have deep feelings towards each other and Apalasin promised Zehra that they would do whatever they could to get both of them out of that prison. Apalasin and Zehra slowly made a plan but before they were confident that it would work, it looked like the Lord was getting closer and closer to the results he was searching for in his experiments. So they decided to try to escape anyway. On the night decided for their escape tho, the Lord called on Apalasin and did a ritual that messed with Apalasins’ nature. Apalasin was sure they were gonna die, that whatever the necromancer was trying to do was not gonna work and that maybe that was what happened to their mother too. Yet, Zehra, which Apalasin already left with a key to the cells of the dungeon, let free every goblin that was prisoner, interrupting the ritual the Lord was trying to do with the chaos that exploded inside his tower. Furious, the Lord at first launched against the other goblins without really aiming at anyone in particular, just trying to manage the riot. But once he realized that Zehra was helping a weakened Apalasin to run away, he focused just on her “stealing” his experiment, leaving Zehra dead at Apalasin’s feet.  Filled with guilt and regrets, but right in front of the tower’s blown open door, Apalasin decided to run, hoping one day to maybe avenge poor Zehra and use against him the magic they learned by watching the Lord Threz torture their people for so long.

SUGGESTION CORNER

Suggested features Ability scores: High Intelligence and Constitution, Low Strength and Wisdom Skill proficiencies: Arcana, Investigation, History, Medicine Other: I know Apalasin is supposed to forget what happened to them when they become a Verdan. It doesn’t really work with the way I built up their backstory, but if you like the personality and want to rework the rest, discuss with your DM on how to play a character that might have amnesia and doesn’t really remember anything but the last 6-7 months of their life. As far as I’m concerned, I suggest the “my telepathy isn’t really the best, but at least I remember my past” approach instead. Llike, every time you try to use telepathy, you roll a d100. If you roll 15 or lower, your powers don’t work as they should; it’s a little bit harsher on the mechanical side, but it could be a fun twist. I can immagine it as just them misunderstanding what the other person is trying to covey, or accidentally giving them a headache and having no clue how they did it. It could be an opportunity for some shenanigans, but once again, it’s something your DM has to agree on. 

Suggested Characteristics Trait: I would rather make a new friend than a new enemy. / I hide my depression&trauma behind a toothy smile. Ideal: My gifts are meant to be shared with all, not used for my own benefit. Bond: I would sacrifice my life and my soul to protect the innocent. Flaw: I talk to spirits that no one else can see.