#apparently processing trauma and anxiety doesn’t make you understand your orientations and gender
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I know it’s not a reliable way to judge how things work for most alloromantics, but apparently you guys are having romantic feelings a few times a month, sometimes a few times a WEEK?! I just thought… you guys felt it every few years or when you have had a few dates or something. But huh?! A week?! Is that true?
I have literally only had crushes. I don’t feel little instances of quick attraction (which other people apparently do???) I’ll see someone and go “huh, they look nice” but it won’t really be romantic, just aesthetic. And even that only happens every once in awhile. The only time I ever really feel romantic attraction is when I get a strong crush. My feelings, annoyingly, have no in-between. They also can’t be prompted by me attempting to set them up, like a date. It just doesn’t do anything, and not “it doesn’t happen every time” that I think is normal, no, it just doesn’t happen at all. I wish it worked, I really do. It would make my life so much simpler, but it never does. Sometimes I’ll see someone do something and go like, “aww, that’s cute” but it’s more just general endearment or maybe affection. It doesn’t feel romantic. I’m so confused.
#emma posts#romantic orientation#alloromantic#I think I’m grayromantic#I’ve only recently realized that (as in yesterday)#I knew I was Demisexual but I didn’t know my ROMANTIC experience was unusual. I’ve gone SEVEN YEARS since my last crush#and I’m not romantically attracted unless I have a crush#when I do have a crush the feelings are strong#but it’s never worked out and I’ve learned how to kill the things over time if I have to#and then I’m just not super into the person again#I probably could be but I’ve never pushed it#I have had three maybe four crushes on actual people in my life and I’m 26#and crushes on video game characters aren’t the same as on real people#but even those don’t average once a year#and you guys are just… feeling it whenever?#I’m having another revelation#I’m really oblivious aren’t i#and I’ve been reflecting on myself in therapy for a decade#apparently processing trauma and anxiety doesn’t make you understand your orientations and gender#unless the trauma or anxiety comes from those things I guess#but mine don’t and I know that for certain#the mortifying ordeal of being known buy#but it’s literally just you knowing yourself all of the sudden#I would be laying down staring at the ceiling but my hair is in a bun and I don’t want to fuck it up#I work hard on learning how to put it up in buns#every one is an accomplishment#and sometimes I don’t even get sexually attracted to a crush#which have only ever been the people I’ve gotten sexually attracted to#crushes I mean#but I like stories with romance. does that throw it off?
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