#apparently the house they rented isn't big enough for me. so i just get to stay home while everyone goes to have fun in montana

[bonny-kookoo]

Jungkook

𝓢𝔀𝓮𝓮𝓽 𝓣𝓸𝓸𝓽𝓱 [Cookies]

Jimin isn't sure anymore what to think about you and Jungkook. But maybe tonight he realizes something.

Tags/Warnings: Human!Yoongi, Human!Jimin, Rottweiler hybrid!Jungkook, Cat hybrid!Reader, Enemies to friends to lovers, mentions of past trauma, some Yoonmin here and there oops, Main story focus are MC and Kook though, some Angst in this, major fluff too, christmas!!!

Wordcount: 3.1k words

There is no taglist for this fic.

-> Masterlist

♥━━━━━━━━━━•.♡.•━━━━━━━━━━━━♥

Jimin has no idea how to talk to you anymore.

It’s not like you became an entirely different person overnight, or as if Jungkook actively keeps him away from you- it’s just.. awkward. He’s seen you search online for jobs, something you’ve never done before, or at least you’ve never actually seemed to be interested in that. And neither has he ever wanted you to do get one- he’s making enough money for the both of you, you don’t have to provide for yourself.

But he believes that Jungkook might have something to do with it.

“jiminie?” You say, skipping towards him to put your phone down, a page opened. “can you drive me to my job interview tomorrow?” You ask, and Jimin frowns, looking at the page on your phone.

It's an email. You’ve been apparently asking for a job at a local grocery store to just help stock the shelves and such, but Jimin worries. “are you sure?” He asks, and you deflate quite a bit. “eight hours a day is a bit much to start with..” he says, and you huff, slumping over onto the kitchen counter.

“But I wanna have my own money too…” you mumble, complaining when the door opens, Yoongi entering.

“But baby you don’t have to? Just tell me how much you need and I’ll give it to you.” Jimin says, earning some attention from Yoongi who gets himself a bottle of cold coffee from the fridge.

“But then- noo, that’s not right!” You huff, tail smacking against your chair you’re sitting on. “no, I need my own for that!” You complain. “eight hours isn’t a lot! I can do that!”

“Can I look at it?” yoongi asks, and Jimin slides the phone over with a sigh. “eight hours five days a week. Have you ever worked before?” He wonders, and you sheepishly shake your head. “then eight hours might be a bit much as a start. Don’t they offer part time positions?” He asks, and you shrug.

“I’ll get less money then though..” you say disappointed, leaning back a big as your legs swing around.

“Work your way up then.” Yoongi encourages. “it’s a good job, decent pay even as part time.” He mumbles, looking through the job description. “I’d like to look over the contract before you sign it though. Just to make sure it’s all good.” He says, turning around to throw the bottle in the trash.

Jimin notices instantly how you look at Yoongi.

“There’s my princess!” Jungkook however breaks through the moment, picking you up from the chair you’re sitting on to hug you, tail wagging with excitement. He’s apparently just come home from work to pick you up- like he always does.

These days, the moment Jungkook is available, you’re gone out of sight.

Yoongi has already slowly brought up the topic of potentially changing the living situations permanently in the future- switching around so to speak, with Jungkook and you living in one house, while Jimin and Yoongi occupy the other. Of course, this wouldn’t be official due to the fact that both Jungkook and you are still hybrids and therefore legally not allowed to rent or own any land or property, but it could still work as long as the paperwork stays the way it is right now. Jimin isn’t really sure if he likes the idea.

He knows it’s inevitable, but that doesn’t mean he likes it.

Jungkook and you are gone as quickly as always, with the dog hybrid helping you wrap your scarf around your neck to keep you warm outside. He’s taking you for a bit of a date- he’s doing that a lot in fact. But especially now- with Christmas fast approaching and your love for all things sweet, it’s the perfect time to spoil you rotten.

You don’t tell him about your job hunting. You kind of want it to stay a bit of a secret.

“Do you know what you’d like as a Christmas present yet?” He wonders, warm hand holding yours as he swings them a bit, both of you walking through the busy streets full of food stalls and advertisements. You think a little, unsure.

“I don’t know.” You admit. Jimin and you always exchanged tiny presents, never truly having to think about what to gift the other.

“hm, I’ll have to think of something then.” He chuckles, squeezing your hand a second before he looks ahead again.

Back home, Jimin and Yoongi are arguing once again. “I’m just saying- what if they can’t keep the house tidy? She’s pretty messy..” jimin worries.

“Jungkook will get her to clean up, don’t worry he’s a bit chaotic but they’ll manage.” He easily defends. “jimin, I know it’s hard to let go but-“ he sighs when Jimin turns around, facing away from him. “-she’ll stay close? Literally next door.” He offers.

But it’s not enough. He wants you home.

“She’s already looking for a job. She clearly must be thinking of it too.” Yoongi says. “You can’t keep that away from her. She deserves that freedom.”

“She never worked before. She wont last.” Jimin says, sitting down again to put his head in his hands. “I don’t want her to go through that feeling of failure. She’s fine as it is- why does she suddenly want her own money? Just because Jungkook works?” He whines, and Yoongi shrugs, because he has an idea as to why you could be doing this.

“Does it really matter?” the older male says, sitting down as well. “this isn’t about the money, or the work, or the house, and you know this.” He tries to reason. “it’s about the fact that you don’t want her to leave.”

“Why can’t I have you both?” jimin softly complains. “it feels like I have to choose. Like.. I’d have to take Jungkook away from her to get her back.” He reveals his feelings, making Yoongi stay silent.

Because there’s really nothing he could say to make him feel any better.

♥━━━━━━━━━━•.♡.•━━━━━━━━━━━━♥

Yoongi waits for you in the car as you return from your job interview, offering him the documents to read through. “You know you don’t have to do this, right?” yoongi asks, reading through the papers with a pair of glasses.

“Yeah, but I don’t.. want to just be lazy.” You mumble, playing with your new acrylics you got done with Jungkook. They’re Christmas themed. “Jungkook.. works a lot. And he's always so proud.” You say quietly. “I know working in a grocery store isn’t as cool as his job but..”

Yoongi looks over at you, a gentle expression on his face. “You have a lot to be proud of too.” He says, giving the documents back to you. “and even just part time is already a big thing. You’re a different category than Jungkook, remember that.”

“How do you know?” You ask, surprised.

“both simple observation-“ He smiles a bit, before he flips a page of your document. “-and the ability to read.” He chuckles, causing you to become a bit shy now.

He's right. It’s all written down right there.

“You’re right in the middle of categories. That’s got to be confusing.” He gently tells you. “Go slow and steady. They offer a training day, take it. I’ll bring you and pick you up, and then we’ll decide whether or not you’ll sign it, okay?” He asks, and you nod, watching him drive home in silence.

The moment you both step out in front of his house, you do something unique-

You hug him, an actual, full on hug, arms wrapped around him as you rub your cheek on his chest to scent him. “thanks.” You mumble, and Yoongi awkwardly pats your head, before you run off at the sight of Jungkook after giving yoongi the documents, as the dog hybrid is seen opening the front door to greet you.

“Well, that’s new.” Jimin hums. “is she growing closer to everyone but me now?” He half-jokes- though yoongi can hear some genuine insecurities.

“I think it’s simply evening out, Jimin.” Yoongi tries to explain. “see it like that. Her attention is like a bottle of water. And before, it was all just filling one cup- yours.” He says as they’re both inside the kitchen now, him taking out two glasses and a bottle of water. “But now, there’s more cups to fill. And Jungkook’s simply gets a bit more from her.. well, because it’s a special cup, you could say.” He chuckles.

“I was just as spoiled, huh.” Jimin sighs, taking the glass of water from him, staring at it.

“Pretty much. But just like her, you’ll adapt.” He gently hums, hand on his. “it’s just a bit tough right now. And hey-“ he says, leaning over the table a bit to get closer, faces only inches apart.

“-You’ve got your own special cup too, no?”

♥━━━━━━━━━━•.♡.•━━━━━━━━━━━━♥

Jungkook and you cuddle on the sofa, when he notices it again.

Sometimes, whenever you’re close like this, or he offers you just a tad bit too much physical affection, you seem to become almost drunk off of it. He’s noticed it in public too, whenever he hugs you fully and gives you a lot of kisses or even just a hand on your back running up and down a bit too often. Now, he knows that cat hybrids can get excited from a lot of physical contact- but you seem especially sensitive.

Almost as if you’re not the same category as himself.

He doesn’t really know how to ask you, considering that it might be a touchy subject- but he’s also endlessly curious. Though, right now, it’s not a very pressing issue, as you’re both in the privacy of the home he technically shares with Yoongi. These days, your things have found their way into this house as well though- from clothes in the wash, blankets on the couch, or stuffed toys in his bedroom that you wanted to show off but forgot to take back.

He can’t say he doesn’t like it.

You’re happily purring against him, rolling over onto your back, sweater rising up a bit to reveal your stomach- and he can’t help himself as he leans over you to kiss the skin, cold top of his nose making you giggle. “You’re so pretty.” He chuckles as well, moving up to kiss your lips now. You’re buzzing with emotions now, tail swiping from side to side, smacking hard against the couch now as he charges you up again.

It's then that you bite him, and he notices it.

As if he looks at you for the first time so intensely, he realizes a few things. From the more pronounced feline shape of your pupils, to the more defined sharpened teeth of yours. It doesn’t just seem like you’re a different category- you most likely are.

And yet you seem so aware? Something doesn’t make sense- but right now, it’s not the moment to ask about it.

Instead, he watches how you let go of his arm again, only some slight marks present on his skin, proving that you didn’t mean to hurt him at all- that it was just a reaction to get rid of all that excitement. It’s cute to him, most of all, so he doesn’t really care about it, happy sighing along with you as you both entangle your legs together before you cuddle up, getting ready to nap a little.

It's Jungkook’s favorite part of the day.

If he didn’t like his job so much, he’d stay home with you all day every day, and he’d never get bored of anything at all as long as you’d be there at his side. But to spoil you how you deserve it, he needs money- so it’s currently for the best to be away for seven hours and be able to offer you the best he can.

And you deserve only the best, in his opinion.

♥━━━━━━━━━━•.♡.•━━━━━━━━━━━━♥

You feel ashamed when Yoongi picks you up from your first day.

You had to take breaks way more often than you thought you’d have to, it was honestly stressful despite the fact that you did nothing but stock shelves for four hours. You’re being paid- but you also feel almost defeated. You can’t see yourself doing this long term- you feel absolutely drained.

“I know I’m repeating myself, but it’s fine to admit if it’s not for you.” Yoongi tells you, who just starts at your lap. “no shame in it.”

“Why can’t I be normal?” You mumble.

“Because no one is.” Yoongi simply chuckles. “some might fit a common standard. But there is really no ‘normal’. Only average at best.” He explains.

“then I wanna be average.” You say.

“But that’s not you.” He shrugs. “and we all like you the way you are.” He offers. “Jimin mentioned to me that you don’t like Christmas. Are you upset because of that right now?” He wonders, genuinely curious.

“Christmas.. I don’t know.” You tell him. “It’s all.. a lot. Like, the lights, and the noise, and everyone’s always on edge, and nervous..” you confess.

“Its stressful.” Yoongi concludes, and you nod.

“And I also always feel bad.” You admit. “because.. Jiminie always gets me a lot of presents, but all I can give him is.. stupid stuff I made myself.” You say.

“Ah, now I get why you want to work so badly.” Yoongi clicks his tongue.

“I want to give you guys nice stuff too!” You cry out, finally letting it all out to someone. “I want to make you happy too, but I can’t do anything, and I can’t buy anything! I can only take, that’s it!” You huff angrily, ears pinned back when you notice Yoongi pulling up to a small grocery store. “Huh?” You wonder, distracted, when Yoongi runs a hand over your head- the touch able to calm you down quite a bit as you look at him.

“you and Jimin are very similar, you know?” He smiles. “You need to be more open. Don’t suffer all by yourself- getting help isn’t admitting defeat.” He says. “how about you help with chores at home, and I’ll give you some pocket money for it?”

“But then I’ll take money from you again.” You deny.

“Its not that different from working. You do something, I’ll pay you. Simple.” He shrugs.

“…OK.” You nod, determined, as he reaches over to wipe your cheeks, tears staining them that you didn’t even notice falling.

“there we go.” He grins, before driving back home with you.

♥━━━━━━━━━━•.♡.•━━━━━━━━━━━━♥

After Yoongi had informed the rest of them back home about your actual issues with the holiday season, Jungkook is now busy making sure the new Christmas lights aren’t blinking anymore but instead glowing steady, settings adjusted. He's almost done, when you rush into the house, almost tripping upstairs. “everything okay?” Jungkook calls, Jimin and Yoongi looking after you as well.

“Everything’s fine, promise!” You call down. “I just gotta wrap some stuff!!” You say, before something chatters, making Yoongi chuckle.

“So all those Years.. she didn’t hate Christmas at all?” jimin wonders.

“I mean, cats are pretty sensitive to stuff like that.” Jungkook mumbles with his head almost entirely stuck within the large Christmas tree. “and she’s a different category so- ouch!” He flinched when the pines prick him a little.

“I never thought that the difference in just seven percent is that big..” jimin shamefully sighs to himself.

“Well, you know now.” Yoongi reassures. “the past is the past. Let’s focus on the future.”

You’re downstairs a few hours later with a few colorful bandaids on your fingers from papercuts, watching the cookies in the oven bake with Jungkook hugging you. Some of them are shaped like cats, others like dogs. “can we eat them when they’re done?” You wonder.

“They’ll be hot though.” Jungkook chuckles. “you’ll burn your tongue.”

“I don’t wanna wait..” you huff.

“I’ll distract you then.” Jungkook suggests. “we can go put the presents under the tree while they cool down.” He says, letting go of you to take them out, careful not to have you get hurt.

“Okay.” You nod, fetching all the little things you wrapped admittedly a bit chaotically. Still, everyone’s proud- it’s not an easy task for you, and it’s clear that you had to take breaks multiple times in between wrapping to get your focus back on track. “mine look all crumpled up..” you pout, sitting on the floor in front of all the presents.

“You got drastically better though after the first two.” Yoongi comments. “that one there looks pretty neat.” He points to a small one, and you purr at that, before you turn. “You want some?” He offers the peeled tangerine, which you take.

“She’s warmed up to him.” Jimin notices from the sidelines, and Jungkook nods, tail wagging.

“Isn’t it great?” He says, though his tail slows when he notices Jimin’s rather somber look. “Why are you so against us loving her.?” He asks, and Jimin looks towards the dog hybrid in surprise.

“What?” He asks, caught off guard.

“I don’t know. But it feels like you’re.. upset that she’s befriending Yoongi. Or that she loves me now.” He explains.

“I’m not upset.” The older human denies. “I’m just.. scared.”

“Of what?” Jungkook calls, bewildered. “aren’t we a family now?”

A family.

Jimin hasn’t really thought of it that way- but Jungkook’s right. Yoongi and the dog hybrid aren’t taking you away, really- they’re more like an extension now, added on instead of pushed into the existing bond you two once had. The only one who pulled away had been himself.

“we all love her. In different ways.” Jungkook smiles. “the only one who’s making it weird is you.” He jokes, before he joins in, tugging on your tail playfully to get you to turn and tackle him, Yoongi sighing as he has to make sure you both don’t tumble right into the tree.

And that night, a switch had been flipped.

Jimin finally jumps over his own shadow again, helping you unwrap your presents, while also almost brought to tears when he receives yours. It’s all warm, and happy, and almost like you’re both back to normal again- but one look around him offers him a true picture of what it is now.

You both have always considered each other family-

You’re just a few more people now.

[procrastinatorproject]

Procrastinator's Kitchen Countdown - An Introduction

About 6-7 weeks to go (I hope)

When I came back from studying abroad a few years ago, I moved into a shared flat with a friend of mine. Finding housing in this city is a bit of a hassle, and her former flatmate left a few weeks before I returned, so the arrangement was perfect.

The flat is in the attic of a fairly old "Mehrfamilienhaus", i.e. a house with a number of units big enough for single people or small families. It's fifty steps down to the front door and another seven or so to get into the basement where the washing machine lives (woe is me!).

I like my flat! It was turned from a simple attic into an actual living space somewhat hastily in the 1950's, so the insulation isn't amazing, the doors and windows are fairly old, and it gets really hot in the summer. But it's a decent place to live and it's close to both the university and downtown areas. And because my previous flatmate had lived here for many, many years, the rent had stayed much lower than other places around town, where landlords could increase their ask every time the tenants changed - a frequent occurrence in a city full of students.

Then, four years ago, my friend finished her degree and moved to a different part of the country, which meant I was faced with a decision. I could get a new flatmate (not ideal, since I hate sharing living space with strangers and was really looking forward to living on my own again for a while), or I could try and find a smaller, cheaper place somewhere else in town. However, when I looked around, I realized that my current rent would get me a place about 2/3 the size of my current flat, and to pay less, I would barely get half the space or would have to move to the edges of town. So, I decided to stay and take the rent on myself. After all, it was "just for a short while" and "just until I finished my humanities degree and figured out where I'd go next".

Four years later, I am back in school, studying to get a BSc in computer science, and I'm unlikely to leave town, or even this flat, any time soon.

While I'm glad to have a little more certainty in my life (and finally allowing myself to switch to a career path that actually gives me so, so much joy was easily the best choice I made in the last decade), it also made me realize something: I was no longer in a holding pattern, uncertain whether I would be living in this place for six more months or six more years, and I could start making real plans to make this flat my home.

Which brings me to my kitchen.

My kitchen is pretty small, even by German standards. It's more than the tiny pantry kitchen I had when I first moved out to go to university, but it's still barely big enough to have two people in it at the same time and is nestled under the roof, with the slanted wall coming down to about knee height. The furniture and especially the appliances were already a student-flat-share inheritance when my former flatmate moved in over ten years ago. They got a new fridge when she arrived (the guys living here before had simply hung a bunch of their foods out the window in the winter after their old fridge broke down and apparently had been content with that), but the oven was already worn out at that point. By now, the bottom of the fridge keeps flooding, the sink is starting to leak, and the oven... well.

I have been wanting to bake more cakes and biscuits, and to really try my hand at baking bread for a while. But especially the latter requires you to have fairly good control over your oven's temperature, and for the longest time, my oven door wouldn't even close properly! It took an evening of intense pre-Christmas baking and food-prep to get it hot enough that the warped hinge finally decided to jump back into its original form with an almighty CLANG!, allowing me to close the door without leaving a small gap at the top.

So, about a year and a half ago, once I knew I was going to stay in this flat for the foreseeable future, I started toying with the idea of getting a new kitchen.

For those who don't know, if you rent a flat in Germany, it's maybe 50/50 whether it will come with a kitchen provided by the owner, or you have to bring in your own. Actually, I think having a pre-installed kitchen might be a lot less common than having one, but you can get lucky and buy the previous tenant's kitchen off them for a small fee, which might skew the general perception. Either way, my kitchen is one of the tenant-owned ones.

So, getting new applianves and furniture would fall entirely on my own head (and budget!). This would of course give me a lot of freedom to design it the way I want, but it also means I'll have to figure out what to do with it once I do I move out. I might be able to sell it to the next tenant, or I might even be able to take it with me wherever I move next. But this worry still made it very difficult for me to actually commit to the undertaking - which is one of the main reasons it has taken me until now to get there.

One thing that finally helped sway me was that any time I mentioned possibly getting a new kitchen to people who had actually been in and used the current one (my mother, my sister, my friends), their reaction pretty universally was: "Oh, thank god, finally!!" And as a Christmas/birthday present, my presents promised to chip in financially and help with planning and organizing.

And now, two years after deciding to stay in this flat and well over a year after first opening the IKEA kitchen planner, I Am Finally Doing It!

I have a fairly clear idea of what I want my new kitchen to look like, I have talked to the IKEA kitchen people about logistics and planning, I have created a dedicated section in Notion to keep track of all the cleaning, sorting, ordering, painting, buying, building, etc. I need to do, and I have a rough time frame.

I AM GETTING A NEW KITCHEN!!!

And I'm taking you all along for the ride!

[purple-hel]

FML

It's been a really shitty year.

I lost my job in August and have gotten exactly ONE recruiter call since then, and no actual interviews. My uncle was helping me with rent, but he had to retire because his mind is slipping (which was a conversation I had to have with him because apparently his manager, an old friend of his, wasn't allowed to, so got ahold of me for the 'he's gotta retire or hes going to get fired and lose his pension and health insurance' convo.) So my uncle can't help me anymore cos there's a big gap between his last paycheck and his first pension payment, and even if he could help my lease is up end of july and the complex wants to raise my rent by like $400, which is somehow fucking legal.

And I have nowhere I can move, because I have 5 cats (plus another I should really take with me if I leave), only two of which will tolerate other people, the other 3 will only tolerate me (plus the 6th is mostly feral and won't even really tolerate me, but she's been SLOWLY warming up to me and two of mine are her clowder and I don't want to leave her all alone, so I need to be able to isolate her from all but 2 of mine if I leave and take her with me). So I'm going to be homeless I guess? With 5 cats? and no car? Which doesn't sound like something worth fighting to survive when I'm 42 and have absolutely no hope of things getting better.

I had planned to move into my mom's empty house, but that requires like $1000 for a dumpster to reach a marginally livable state (and I mean MARGINALLY) and me having the ability to GET THERE and clean. And I don't have $1000 OR the ability to get there, cos my car died; doubly so in fact, originally it was what I am pretty sure is a brake assembly issue, but when I went to start it yesterday to keep the battery from running down it wouldn't start at all, and not in a dead battery way but in a check engine way.

And then on top of all that, my uncle's neighbor has been seriously overstepping, pushing my uncle to do things like hire a CPA and hire people to clean out the house, which would be fine, except my uncle always loses paperwork, and the neighbor refuses to give contact info for any of the people, so now everything I had stored in my bedroom at my uncle's to keep it safe is probably gone forever-photos. prom dress. a summer camp tee shirt a bunch of friends signed. stuffed animals given to me by various people, including my father. And my uncle lost the paperwork from the CPA, told the CPA to send me a copy of the paperwork, and the CPA, a friend of the neighbor, is refusing, so there's a power of attorney that none of us know what actually covers, isn't that great?!

On the plus side my uncle is good with the idea of a conservatorship, so we just need to get that in place.

plus the 'the world is on fire and death cult capitalism sees no profit in saving it and the rapturists want the world to burn' shit we're all dealing with, and I am hard pressed to remember why I should keep breathing other than my cats.

Oh, yeah, plus fucking health bullshit. I'm now on the prescription anorexia shot (ozempic) which is (un)fortunately actually doing good things for my blood sugar, so I just have to deal with ozempic no appetite on top of ADHD no appetite. Except the past few weeks I've been so stressed the ozempic doesn't seem to be doing anything (or if this is my sugars WITH ozempic fucking gods I don't want to know what they'd be without it.) But not eating enough (a good day I can manage about 1000 calories across the day, which I try to weight towards protein) means not sleeping enough, which is NOT helping the stress levels, which means more cortisol ruining everything….

[pollen]

:|

[logically-asexual]

Where's my fucking teenage dream?

summary:

Last part of this series, two years after the events of the previous part. Logan just finished high school while Janus, Remus and Virgil have been renting a house together since they graduated. Logan decides to move in with them, but adjusting isn't so easy. Logan is ace but does feel romantic attraction (for Virgil). He doesn't know he's ace, though, so the story involves some self-questioning.

Read on AO3

Chapter 2

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words: 1279

They were all sitting in the living room now. Logan still had the towel over his shoulders, but he was no longer shaking, he had a cup of tea in his hands. 

There wasn’t a lot of furniture, but they did have a big TV with many wires coming out of it spread across the floor. There was also a drum set in the corner, behind a crime scene yellow tape reading “Do Not Cross.”

“I’m sorry” he repeated for what felt like the hundredth time. 

“What’s going on with you?” Virgil asked. 

“It’s nothing.” Logan shook his head. “I’m sure you all have had bigger problems, I just haven’t learned a thing and still can’t take care of myself. But I have to do it sooner or later so don’t worry about me.” 

Everyone who had met Virgil before knew that way of speaking very well. He moved to sit next to Logan. “Hey, L, it’s alright—“

“No,” Logan stood up. “I’ve intruded long enough, I’m sorry I—,” he was interrupted by Virgil grabbing his arm. 

“Logan. It’s three am and there’s a fucking storm outside. I didn’t think you were stupid but if you walk out that door I will be proven wrong.” 

Logan couldn’t hold eye contact with the intense look Virgil was giving him. The seriousness of his tone was enough to stun Logan back into sitting down. 

Virgil stood up and began walking away. “Listen if you don’t want to tell us what happened that’s fine, just shut up then and get some sleep, I don’t care. I’m too tired for this.”

Before he could leave the room, Logan spoke up. “They kicked me out.” 

That was enough to catch everyone’s attention. 

“Your parents?” Janus asked. 

“Their perfect little golden child out in the streets?” Remus followed. 

“Yes. No.” Logan tried to get his thoughts in order. “They didn’t. They were about to kick me out, I know it. But I, uh, I ran away first.” 

Virgil sat back where he was before, on the chair to Logan’s right. Remus and Janus were sitting on a couch on his left, looking attentively. They almost looked like his parents when they confronted him about a bad grade, except for all the piercings and now even tattoos on their skin. 

“What did you do?” Now Remus sounded almost excited to hear the story. 

Logan hesitated. “Nothing terrible, I think… I just disappointed them.”

They were all waiting for him to elaborate, so he continued. 

“Last year they agreed that a double major in Data Science and Economics was the best course of action for me to have a successful career. It made sense, I am good at math and every business needs data analysis to survive nowadays, they’d pay me more than enough to be comfortable. I wouldn’t even have to move out because the university was just over half an hour away if my father drove me there before work. 

“It was all solved. I thought everything was fine, but something in me decided to fuck everything up at the Career Orientation Fair they had at the school.” 

Logan didn’t miss how more than one of his friends flinched at the curse word he couldn’t help but utter. It felt foreign in his mouth even to himself. 

“There was this flier for Earth and Planetary Sciences at MIT. I didn’t know that was an entire field of study. Apparently they have researchers that study the ocean or the ground or the atmosphere here or on other planets. I looked more into the topic later and found that you don’t even have to choose in undergrad sometimes. You can study geology and climate and biochemistry and the environment and there’s this thing called paleomagnetism where you study the history of the Earth through the traces in sediments of changes in the magnetic field of the planet!” 

He noticed the looks of confusion in the others’ faces and flushed, stopping his accidental rambling. 

“So, um… It looked interesting.” He coughed. “I don’t know what I was thinking. I skipped class one day to go to the public library to find out how to get a scholarship and I found there was one here in this city.

“I… I wasn’t planning on actually doing anything. They accepted me but I was just going to write a letter at some point explaining that I would study somewhere else. I began taking classes for the career my parents wanted until last night. It had only been two weeks of classes but they were already dissatisfied with my results.”

“Fuck them.” Remus commented. 

“I don’t remember how the argument began. I am grateful for all they have done for me,” Logan’s voice cracked, “but they didn’t see that. They weren’t hearing a single word I was speaking. There is a deadline approaching to confirm my enrollment to the other school and to turn in some personal documents, but my parents had all of them in an archive they stored for safety, because they don’t trust me to take care of my belongings.” 

Tears were rolling down Logan’s eyes again. 

“I sneaked into my mother’s study when they left to cool down from all the yelling and took everything that was important. I put it in a suitcase with as many clothes and personal items as I could fit, took a bus and… Now I’m here.” 

He sniffled and wiped away the tears with the towel, waiting for a response from the older guys in front of him. 

“And…” Janus raised an eyebrow, “I’m assuming your scholarship doesn’t include a residence.” 

“Shut the fuck up.” Virgil hissed. 

Janus simply shrugged and stood up, getting a box of tissues from the bathroom and handing them to Logan. He knew it would be cold of him to point it out, but if Logan wasn’t going to pay his share of the rent, well… What were they supposed to do? 

“I should cancel everything while I still can.” Logan struggled to blow his nose with his hands shaking. “The scholarships require you to be a full time student which won’t let me get a job that’s useful and pays enough to get somewhere to live.” 

“Woah, hold on, you over-educated chihuahua.” Janus sat back down, resting a foot on the coffee table. “I didn’t say that.” 

Everyone looked up at him curiously. 

“If anyone knows what being useless to society or our families is like, it’s the outcasts under this roof.”

Logan held his breath at Janus’ piercing stare, before the blond leaned back with a smug expression. 

“I’m sure we can come up with some arrangement we all benefit from.”

Remus and Janus looked at each other with mischievous smiles, while Virgil sighed, elbows on his knees and his forehead in his hands. 

“So I can stay?”

“We’ll discuss it in the morning.” Janus said with a smug smile. 

Logan visibly relaxed, his shoulders slumping forward. 

After a pause, Janus stood up. “Well, if you don’t mind, it’s late, and some of us have academic and laboral responsibilities tomorrow. Have a goodnight.” 

With that, he left to his room, and the other two followed behind, looking as exhausted as Logan felt. 

“You should rest,” Virgil whispered, before leaving Logan all alone. 

He sat in silence for a minute, listening to the rain outside. He noticed the unopened six pack on the coffee table and mourned the fact that they were going to celebrate after the gig and he ruined it. He didn’t have the energy to feel worse than he already did, though. Soon, he couldn’t hold himself up anymore and drifted to sleep.

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[punkscowardschampions]

Buster & Rio

Buster: Cheers for ruining my birthday, like Rio: What are you on about? Buster: I'm not typing with my voice so I know I didn't slur on that Rio: Yeah, but you're chatting shit Buster: Am I fuck Buster: What did you come for? Rio: Your sister invited me Rio: as it's her birthday too Buster: She ain't even fucking invited Buster: It's my party not hers Rio: You're unreal Rio: neither of us wants to be at your shitty party Rio: which was lame before I got here and we'll be gone as soon as we can so calm down Buster: Then get out Buster: Neither of you are wanted here Rio: 😥 Rio: Like I said, go when we're ready Rio: Ignore us and have a fabulous evening Buster: Like I said, you're ruining it Rio: I don't really care Rio: I'm here to make sure Nancy has a good time, not you Buster: Yeah 'cause she's really gonna have a good time here Buster: You're unreal Rio: Are you thick? Rio: YOU stole her guestlist so she HAS to be here 'til your parents are satisfied Rio: you only have yourself to blame so don't cry at me Buster: Are you thick? My parents aren't. They know Nance ain't got no mates & what's happening here Rio: Take it up with them then Rio: Literally not my problem Buster: I'm taking it up with you Buster: 'Cause you & her being here are my problem Rio: She's your fucking sister Buster: Exactly Rio: You can't just pretend she doesn't exist Buster: What I can't have is one night where I don't have to beat up some cunt for trying to straighten her out, apparently Buster: Whether it's my birthday or not Rio: Sorry she's not hideous and your friends have no self-control Rio: not really an us problem though so Buster: Your nice act has vanished totally by now then, yeah? Rio: I'm not going to be nice to you when you're being a spoilt baby Buster: Literally has never stopped you before Rio: No saint Rio: sometimes it's easier to ignore, when you're not being a total twat Buster: That'll be why you're dressed like such a whore Buster: Did you want me to ignore that? Rio: Obviously Rio: Not for you or this shitshow is it Buster: It's for my sister then? Buster: Cute Rio: You're so fucking messed up Buster: It's a party Buster: That's the point Rio: Mm enjoy Buster: Do you want a line before you fuck off? Rio: Seriously? Buster: What can I say? Host with the most Rio: Fuck off Rio: I'd sooner die than be drug buddies with you after how you've just spoken to me and about your sister Buster: I didn't offer it off my body, calm down Rio: Regardless, I don't want to go anywhere with you Rio: if I want some, I'll get my own Buster: I weren't offering to hold your hand, babe Buster: You're a big girl now Buster: It's there if you want it, end of discussion Rio: Yeah, just hand it over in front of your 'rents Rio: fucking genius Buster: My bathroom's set up already you fucking amateur Buster: You know the way Rio: Bye Buster: For now Rio: Easy enough to avoid until we're gone Buster: You've had years of practice but there's still no calling it that Rio: How many lines of you had Rio: the shit you're spewing rn Rio: take a break Buster: Catch up Buster: It'd be more fun Rio: There's no chance of having fun here Rio: tah Buster: Maybe you'd at least be able to keep up if you caught up though that'd be fun for me Rio: I told you Rio: I don't care if you have a shit time Rio: sorry 'bout it Buster: Tell yourself how much you don't care a few more times Rio: I'm telling you Rio: fucking spoilt brat, don't see no actual 👑 and fuck you anyway even if there was, golden boy Buster: I don't believe you Buster: You don't believe you Rio: As thrilling as talking in circles with you is Buster: Fuck me was the only part that was real there, babe Buster: That's your circle Buster: We always come back to it Rio: YOU do Rio: your favourite topic of conversation Buster: What do you wanna talk about? My sister some more Buster: Jesus Rio: We don't need to talk at all Rio: sure my name was in the card from the fam, yeah Buster: & yet we are & we do Rio: You started it Buster: Yeah Buster: I own that Rio: Nothing to be proud Rio: of Buster: I've got plenty more shit I can be Buster: It's alright Rio: Where Buster: I'll show you Buster: Come here Rio: Yeah, that's happening Buster: Then don't ask stupid questions Rio: Not stupid just because you don't have a better answer than that Buster: I don't need a better answer than that Buster: Not for you Rio: Love that cop-out Rio: so convenient Buster: I know you do Rio: 😂 Buster: Just go Rio: Stop talking to me Buster: Stop showing up at my birthday parties Rio: Awh diddums Buster: I'm serious Rio: Ooh Buster: She invited you, you didn't have to come Rio: I like Nancy Rio: she's family Rio: why wouldn't I Buster: Then meet her somewhere else Buster: Wherever the fuck you're meant to be going Rio: Than her house? Rio: You ain't special Rio: where do you think I'm gonna stay, hotel by myself Buster: Her room isn't next to mine like yours is next to whichever one of your siblings drew that straw Buster: I don't have to see you then Buster: I'm only seeing you now 'cause you want me to Rio: Oh my God Rio: actually dellusional Rio: Halloween came first, kid Rio: or you really out here thinking the world is celebrating Buster: One day maybe Buster: For now, nah Rio: 🙄 Rio: Then get a grip and get over it Buster: Get a grip on what & get over what? Buster: That you still love me or my sister don't Rio: Jesus Rio: you got the nerve when you uninvited her from her own birthday Rio: you know she don't even wanna be here so it was an empty gesture and you still couldn't be nice about it Buster: I didn't say it weren't mutual Buster: She's weak & that ain't my problem or my fault Rio: Oh, I didn't know I was speaking to the fucking ubermensch here Rio: nothing like some german philosophy to bring out the cunt in a white boy, cool Buster: 😂 Rio: Seriously, quote some Rand at me so I can just write you off the christmas card list now Buster: 'The question isn't who is going to let me; it's who is going to stop me.' Rio: Thanks Rio: now we can give up this pretense once and for all Buster: I aim to please, babe Buster: Never let it be said you don't get what you want Rio: No one's ever said that Rio: 'cos you ain't the only person in the world who matters, Bateman Buster: That'd be so much more impressive if you meant it, Golden girl Rio: You're ridiculous Buster: So are you Rio: At least I'm not you Buster: If that'd make me you in this scenario then I'm glad too, like Rio: Everyone knows how glad you are to be you Rio: no need to go over that again Buster: & Everyone knows you want them to think you love yourself almost as much Buster: Shame you don't Rio: You're gonna psychoanalyze me now? Rio: glad the sessions are going well for you but that's a really annoying rookie habit Buster: I don't need to, you're obvious to even a casual fucking observer, like Buster: Give up that pretense if you're bothering to leave any behind Rio: Oh yeah, I'm whoring it up 'cos I'm desperate for validation and esteem from any cunt who'll give it Rio: Good one, Freud, such a hot take Buster: Not what I said Rio: Exactly what you meant Rio: worry 'bout yourself, I'm doing just fine Buster: I don't reckon you've ever had any idea exactly what I mean Buster: Probably don't try & start now Rio: That galaxy brain, whoever could compete Rio: I'm not trying, you're boring Buster: It ain't even that, you wanna deliberately misunderstand Rio: Yeah, love that Rio: blame me when you literally called me it Rio: gaslight some other bitch Buster: One day you're gonna stop fighting this if not me Buster: But yeah, there are plenty of other girls til then Rio: Fighting what Buster: Not today then, is it? Buster: Alright Rio: Wouldn't want to ruin your big day more than I already have Rio: how rude Buster: You've already shown up uninvited without a gift, taking all my spotlight, how much more out of order are you trying to be? Rio: Yeah, knew you loved it Rio: but protest some more, right Buster: What am I meant to love? Rio: Me ruining your life, apparently Buster: If that's apparent to you, you're fucked in more ways than I can start to try & analyze babe Rio: Again, you said it Rio: the drama is real Buster: & you said I was chatting shit Buster: So which is it? Rio: You are but you can believe and love the bullshit still Rio: hasn't stopped you before Buster: You wish Buster: But you don't get one, it's all me Rio: Thought you didn't need them Buster: I don't Buster: Maybe I want it Buster: Part of wanting everything, like Rio: Mhmm Buster: What do you want? Rio: I don't get one Buster: Doesn't mean you can't still want one Rio: You know you have to keep it secret or it don't come true, yeah Rio: that's wish law #1 Buster: What are you the fucking wish police? Buster: Come on Rio: Why do you wanna know Rio: got no ideas for when its time to blow out the candles or Buster: Christ, forget I fucking asked the question if you're gonna be such a pussy about it Rio: I will Rio: Nosy Buster: Better than boring Buster: Or scared Buster: If you don't ask, you don't get Rio: and sometimes, you still won't get Rio: there's a gift for you Buster: Cheers Buster: I'll wrap that bullshit back up for Nance, she'll take it wholeheartedly Buster: I always get what I want though Rio: Obviously not Buster: Where? Rio: Where to start Rio: [time to be properly chatting to that lad] Buster: [Oh good, time to be 😒 but also on the girl that you're meant to be about] Rio: [least you gotta go now so Nancy doesn't kill you, in a bit lads] Buster: [Leave him kissing & dancing & drinking & drunk taking] Buster: [drug* what] Rio: [idk what they're doing, maybe I'll look but let's assume it's cool] Buster: [lowkey anything's better than this] Rio: [soz rich kid party is not a mood] Buster: [it's really not & we all know it, him included even this early on] Buster: [later obvs] Buster: Where's Nance? Rio: She wanted to go bed and chill Rio: I'm not tired yet so Buster: Didn't ask for an update on your mood Rio: Not a mood but alright Rio: you got your answer as well Buster: & you got my point so calm the fuck down Rio: I'm chilling Buster: Good for you Rio: I'm not in your way so leave it Buster: You are in my way so leave though Rio: How am I Buster: How aren't you? Buster: We've been over it Rio: You're still getting attention, you're fine Buster: Fuck fine Buster: You're out of excuses, it ain't about giving my sister a good time anymore, so go, like Rio: I'm not going Rio: like him that much I'll go get a drink and you can slip back in, alright Buster: Shut up Rio: Exactly, you're being stupid Rio: you don't need everyone's undivided do you Rio: just hers, like Buster: You don't need to be here Buster: But you are Rio: 'cos I can Rio: I'm not hiding in your sister's room 'cos you're in a mood for some reason Buster: Some reason Buster: You know what the reason is Rio: Of course, I've 'ruined' your birthday Buster: You're still trying to Buster: Put my fucking mates down, yeah? Rio: Nah Rio: I'm over here trying to have a conversation Rio: not about you Buster: & you don't reckon he's gonna have a convo with me about it when you're done Buster: I don't wanna hear it Rio: Tell him to shut up Rio: What do you want me to tell you Buster: I'm telling you to shut up Buster: Before I have to tell him Rio: You don't tell me what to do or not Rio: if you reckon you got that kinda power over your friends go ahead Buster: Then tell yourself not to do it Buster: Fucking hell Rio: What Rio: Oh my God Buster: [is just fuming bitch like he's gotta go hit something probably excuse him] Rio: [just chatting to this lad oh girl] Buster: [when that girl he's with has probably gone to find him, oh girl x 2] Rio: [awkward, how this party going from bad to worse] Buster: [#hisinfluence] Buster: [When he probably shouted at her or told her to fuck off or something in private so then they gotta make up & everyone's gotta see it ew teens] Rio: [when you're lowkey disgusted] Buster: [aren't we all babe, at least she'd be cuter than most of the girls because one he was most bothered about/could have had something if he wasn't such a fake bitch] ] Rio: [take this lad to the garden for a hot sec 'cos don't need to be seeing this] Buster: [you brought that on yourself boy] Rio: [not gonna make you lose your v in the garden though bit rude, least they'd have guest rooms] Buster: [& a hot tub just saying] Rio: [potential] Rio: [boy should post a selfie rn 'cos duh you'd wanna brag] Buster: [that's so real] Buster: [Let's say Buster comes to have a word with said lad like just gonna pull him away and be like can you not bitch] Rio: Really Buster: Really Rio: Are you trying to be my dad Rio: what the hell Buster: You told me to have a word Buster: Just giving you what you want again, babe Rio: I thought you had some sense Rio: and enough pride to not Rio: fucking hell Buster: Back at you, Cavante Rio: What Rio: he's cute Rio: and the least annoying person at this party Rio: you should know, he's your friend Buster: Whatever you say Rio: Thanks for realizing that Buster: That you're full of shit Buster: Yeah, I did ages ago Rio: How am I Buster: Get some standards & get out of my party, like Rio: Easy Rio: [hit up that hot tub] Buster: [oh joy, I love that for us all] Rio: [when you're wearing a swimsuit basically so you good] Buster: [almost like she planned it] Rio: [at least it's died down enough you ain't gonna be the biggest spectacle ever] Buster: [don't need people filming you thanks] Rio: [chloe would sneaky rat] Buster: [girl you are the worst] Rio: [at least you gonna be looking good n doing but rude] Buster: [and at least it weren't the lad who filmed it & he's actually alright] Rio: [been a hater since day 1 i lol] Buster: [you put a baby in that boy, have a word with yourself] Rio: [yikes] Rio: [how we getting rid of this boy though 'cos he's gonna wanna stay and they ain't sleeping sleeping together 'cos too intimate not for you soz and also baze would find you in the morning and you'd be in the deepest of shit so?] Buster: [Maybe Chloe posts the vid & of course it gets to him really fast & when he sees it he's like THE PARTY'S OVER and kicks everyone out but he can't kick Rio out obvs] Rio: [sounds real, when you're just there like oh fuck] Buster: [when you go to your room in a huff slammed door and all like excuse you for not doing a Chris Ramsey drunk clean up tbh] Rio: Do you know who posted it Buster: Some girl Buster: Ask Nance Buster: [Because I feel like Chlo would have got one of her friends to do her dirty work cos sneaky rat who don't wanna get in trouble /get backlash cos she already likes Buster lbr] Rio: I'll just get it taken down Rio: doesn't matter really Buster: Good luck Rio: It's illegal, no one will want their name attached to that Rio: no one with any sense, I'll just remind them Buster: If they had any sense they wouldn't have posted it Buster: Clearly Rio: Yeah well Buster: Yeah well it's already been sent around everywhere anyway Rio: So what? Buster: So like I said, good luck erasing that Rio: I was just asking if you knew Buster: & I already told you Rio: Yeah thanks Rio: big help Buster: You didn't help yourself, that ain't my fault Rio: I'm not asking for your opinion Rio: it's your party, you should know who it was Buster: You wanted Nance to be included, let her figure it out Rio: She's sleeping Rio: and I'd rather not Buster: She's online Buster: So I doubt that Rio: Well I don't want to talk to her Buster: Well I don't wanna talk to you Buster: & I also don't care if you wanna talk to her or not Rio: I'm not trying to talk just find out Rio: how hard can it be Buster: Easy Buster: So easy that you don't need my help Rio: They're your cunty friends Buster: So's your new boyfriend Buster: Ask him Rio: Oh yeah, that'd be fun Rio: fuck sake Buster: Not my problem Rio: I hate you Buster: So what? Rio: So what I said Buster: Hate me then Buster: I'm not about to lose sleep over it Rio: I do Buster: You're not talking to Nance, I can read Buster: No need to repeat yourself, like Rio: Why can't you do this one thing Rio: I'm not asking you to care Buster: Why should I? Buster: I told you to leave my mates alone & you wouldn't Rio: So I deserved that to happen? Buster: If you're stupid enough not to fuck behind a locked door then yeah Rio: Fine Buster: Goodnight Rio: Right Buster: [time skip to the next day when everyone's talking about the vid & his mate is loving the attention or at least pretending to] Rio: Give me your postcode Rio: need to call a cab Buster: [Does] Rio: Tah Rio: If you're parents ask, I've gone home already Buster: Not me they'd ask Buster: I didn't invite you here Rio: Whatever Rio: You know the story now Buster: Whatever Buster: I'm inundated with loads of stories already, I ain't got time for yours Rio: 💔 Rio: Truly Rio: poor boy Buster: 'Course you are Rio: Nah Rio: I'm over it Rio: you should try it Buster: You should try not telling me what to do Rio: You should try not being so boring Buster: Says you Rio: That's the word you're using this morning Rio: makes a change Rio: just when I'd got used to my old title Buster: Get over that too Rio: S'alright Rio: don't need you when there's plenty other people dying for the chance to call me it Buster: 💔 truly Buster: Poor you Rio: Do I sound bothered? Rio: Keep up Rio: but don't, you aren't invited Buster: I'm not listening Buster: Keep up Rio: Too busy with the other stories? Rio: Cute Buster: It ain't cute Buster: None of it Rio: Leave your review in the comments Buster: Fuck off Rio: Go on Rio: give us something to laugh about Buster: Go on & fuck off Buster: How else do you want me to say it? Rio: Going, aren't I Rio: so touchy Buster: For someone who hates me, you're so chatty Rio: I told you, you're funny Rio: Hilarious, even Buster: I've told you, I aim to please Buster: Enjoy yourself Rio: Not the only one Buster: The only one who's funny though Rio: Not going to talk to him Rio: so I'm not too 💔 Buster: Lucky you Rio: Know you like him Rio: not exclusive and I'll be gone soon so don't be too jealous Buster: Shut up Buster: He's a cunt with a big mouth who I have to see every weekday until we graduate Buster: So cheers Rio: Lucky you Buster: Yeah Buster: I'm going out, try not to fuck anyone else & have it filmed before you leave Buster: Unless I don't know them Rio: Make no promises Rio: least of all to you Buster: I'm not too 💔 don't worry Buster: Doubt you could keep one Rio: Yeah right Buster: Right Buster: Don't hurry back, I won't have another birthday for you to ruin for ages now Rio: You still think this was in any way about you? Buster: For me, it's about me Buster: My birthday was fucked Rio: I don't feel sorry for you Buster: I don't give a shit Buster: & I also didn't ask Rio: That's ALL you're doing Rio: boohoo Rio: I'm glad it was ruined Rio: happy accident Buster: Be glad then Rio: Awh thanks Rio: so sweet Buster: So welcome Rio: 💕 Rio: Oh, you won't speak to your sister will you? Know you usually don't bother Buster: Do you not think before you type? Rio: Don't think before I do anything Rio: Obviously Rio: don't tell her where I've gone, she'll actually give a shit and I don't need that Buster: Obviously Rio: Thanks Rio: got some use Buster: Not doing it for you Buster: But yeah, go ahead & reap the benefits Rio: You think she hasn't seen it? Rio: Or actually tried to help already Rio: She's the decent one, remember Buster: I never said it was for her either Buster: I don't want to talk to her, it's that simple Rio: Can always rely on you to be simple Buster: Hilarious Rio: I already said you were, babe Buster: I was saying you are Buster: Except I wasn't Buster: Simple, yeah? Rio: More bullshit from you Rio: not so much simple as expected Buster: What can I say? You had enough disappointment in the hot tub Buster: No need for me to add to it Rio: That ain't what you saw, or heard Buster: What do you care, you're over it Rio: Changing bullshit for outright lying Rio: You're better than that Buster: Who says? Rio: You, constantly Rio: usually Buster: & You say I'm chatting shit Rio: You're the best, aren't you? Rio: Or that's another lie Buster: Obviously Rio: To which bit Buster: Take it however you like Rio: Suddenly being generous Buster: That don't count as generosity unless you count ending this convo as that Rio: Nah Rio: Entertain me 'til I get there Buster: That wouldn't be generosity either Rio: Host with the most, you said Buster: That was last night Buster: & you didn't take me up on it then Rio: I am now Buster: Well it's not an offer I'm extending now Buster: Unlucky Rio: Come on Buster: Nah Rio: Pussy Buster: That's the best you can do? Rio: You said you don't wanna find out Buster: Now you're choosing to care about what I want Buster: Bullshit Rio: Not gonna do it just because I want to Rio: not that bitch Buster: & You're calling me a pussy Rio: You want me to jump you? Rio: The kind of preference that needs a safeword and you don't wanna talk so Buster: 😂 Rio: Such a joker today Buster: Laugh or cry, yeah? Rio: Nothing to cry about Rio: still got to make your wish, yeah Buster: Still according to you, I am Rio: Why else Buster: What? Rio: Why else wouldn't you take me up on it Buster: Why would I take you up on anything? Rio: You can't pretend this with me Buster: You ain't special, babe Buster: & I can do anything Rio: Bullshit Buster: Which part are you wishing weren't true? Rio: Didn't get a wish, don't need one Buster: Don't stop you wanting one though, does it? Rio: You're the only one who's gonna regret it Rio: like I said, pussy Buster: Like I said, nah Rio: And I told you, you can't lie to me Buster: I'm not Rio: Whatever Rio: I'm here so you can go bore someone else Rio: great chat Buster: Nice try on the sarcasm Buster: I thought you weren't gonna bother Rio: Obviously what you're into Buster: Cute Buster: But it'd take more than that for me to be into you Rio: You're so bad at this Buster: Stop trying to prolong it then Rio: Someone's got to teach you Rio: like old times Buster: You didn't teach me fuck all Rio: 😂 Buster: The only thing that I've ever learned from being around you is that I shouldn't drink brandy Rio: Yeah, and it's been how long since you ignored that lesson Rio: Hopeless Buster: Good thing I don't need hope then Rio: You know what you need Rio: so do I Buster: & You think I'm bad at this Rio: If you ever wanna stop being boring and bored, let me know Buster: If you're ever capable of being the solution to my boredom, I will Rio: Awh, but you don't need solutions to your perfect life, yeah golden boy? Buster: Being bored doesn't take the shine off my life, babe Buster: Name someone our age who isn't Rio: You're always gonna be bored Buster: & If I am, you won't be the solution Rio: You ain't looking Rio: wanna be prom king forever Rio: ain't fun and it ain't real but what's that matter to you Buster: What's it matter to you? Rio: I give a shit Rio: I can own it Buster: No you don't Rio: Do though Buster: Bullshit Buster: If you gave a single fuck about me you wouldn't fuck my friend at my birthday & make me see & hear about it Rio: I didn't think you would Buster: Even if there wasn't a video he was always gonna brag about it Buster: Come on Rio: That wasn't why I did it Buster: I don't care why you did it Rio: You can't say I don't care based on that Rio: is all I'm saying Buster: Yeah I can Rio: Alright but it's not true Buster: It is Rio: You wish it was Buster: Why would I wish for that? Rio: Easier Buster: Fuck that Rio: I'm sorry Rio: alright Buster: No, it ain't, 'cause you being sorry or saying it don't change anything Rio: They'll stop talking about it soon Buster: & Then it'll be like it didn't happen, yeah? Buster: Shut up Rio: Yeah, basically Buster: Nah, basically he was the least cunty of my friends & now he ain't anymore Buster: So cheers Rio: You can still be mates Rio: he'll get over it too Buster: I can't fucking look at him Buster: Try again Rio: You too Rio: come on Buster: Come on, what? Get some new mates so you can fuck them as well Rio: No like Rio: just forget about it Rio: don't think about it Buster: Yeah sure Rio: I said sorry Rio: it doesn't need to be this big thing Buster: It can be whatever the fuck you want, for you Rio: I'm Rio: just trying to help Buster: Don't Rio: I'm going, alright Rio: I can't do any more for you than that then, yeah? Rio: You hate me so just keep telling everyone that and they'll know you don't care Buster: I said, don't Buster: Even if I needed your advice, which let's face it I never fucking will, I ain't asking Rio: Let me do something Buster: Too late to start asking for my permission, babe Rio: Buster Buster: You can't use my name against me either, you ain't my mum Rio: I'm not trying to Buster: I know what you're trying to do Rio: I just wanna put it right Buster: How shit for you that you can't then Buster: You'll have to just want Rio: Fine Rio: spite yourself Buster: You think this is my loss? Nah Rio: Nah, you don't get to chat that when I ruined your birthday and took your bestest mate Rio: you don't get to have it both ways so how do you want it Buster: I get to have it any way I want, how haven't you figured that out yet, like Buster: I'll have another birthday in a year & some new mates you can fuck by then too probably Buster: Have another go then if you fancy it Rio: Because it's not true Rio: How fucking fragile is your throne if all it takes is one person who doesn't buy into your bullshit to come in and it's all gone Rio: you've got fuck all and it's sad and I do feel bad for you, really bad Buster: Cute Rio: Not even a little bit Buster: You said it Buster: Go whore around your own postcode for a while & we'll reconvene at the next family gathering I get dragged to Rio: Get some help Rio: Seriously Buster: Go work for the Samaritan's or some shit, you've really found a calling, like Rio: Thanks Buster: I'll catch you on the other end of a phone line then Buster: Clearly Rio: That's not funny Buster: I ain't laughing Rio: Stop it Buster: But if I keep going, I can offer you an apology and we'll be even, yeah? Rio: Say what you like about me Rio: you always have Rio: I don't need one Buster: Good Buster: I'd hate to keep you waiting on it Rio: This isn't about me Buster: Well it ain't about me Buster: You don't fucking know me Rio: They do, do they Buster: Irrelevant Rio: Do you enjoy it Buster: Obviously Buster: Can't you tell? Rio: You don't want me to tell you what I can tell Rio: not repeating myself, am I Buster: Doesn't normally stop you Rio: Well, I'm trying Rio: not afraid to admit it either Buster: Good for you Rio: What happened Buster: Do you wanna be any less vague? Rio: To you Buster: Really cleared things up, cheers Rio: You know what I mean Rio: and you probably have ideas too Rio: you can tell me Buster: Why would or should I though? Rio: What do you have to lose Buster: What the fuck is there to gain? Rio: Find out Buster: Nice try Rio: What do I gain Buster: Answers Buster: That's generally what people want when they ask a question Rio: Nah Buster: Then stop asking Rio: No Buster: Good talk, babe Buster: Cheers Rio: One day Rio: You'll actually do it and you'll actually mean it Buster: Yeah but not with or for you Rio: I don't care who it's with Buster: One day you'll actually mean that Rio: More likely than you finding anyone here to talk to Buster: I don't want to talk to anyone here Rio: I know Buster: Don't worry about my odds then Rio: I will Rio: because you need to Buster: I don't Rio: Yes you do Buster: Stop chatting shit at me Buster: You call me out for it enough Rio: You know why Buster: Do I? Rio: Yes Buster: No Rio: You do but we don't have to talk about that now Buster: You haven't shut up about anything else Buster: Might as well Rio: You know it ain't the right time Buster: Like a right time exists Rio: Maybe not Buster: A maybe is ridiculous, even for you Rio: Probably Rio: oh well Buster: Are we done? Buster: I'm not pissing about with your one word answers Rio: Defensive 'cos you're not giving even that Rio: but sure, if you want Buster: I can be offensive if you'd rather Rio: How you usually do Rio: Not going to bring up your stamina right now but well Buster: Understandable, like I said, not gonna rub it in your face about the hot tub disappointment Rio: Is it helpful to reckon it was shit Rio: Genuinely Buster: It's honest Buster: But if you wanna pretend otherwise, go ahead, like Rio: Why are we talking about it? Buster: It's the right time for it Rio: Okay Rio: let's talk about it then Buster: I've said everything I've got to say Rio: Seriously? Rio: You can do better Buster: I'm flattered that you feel the need to say so, again Rio: Come on Rio: Already said, no apology needed Rio: so go for it Buster: Okay now it makes sense, you get off on it Rio: Yeah Rio: That'll be it Buster: Why you keep trying to make me angry, yeah Rio: Yeah Rio: was the plan all along Buster: It's the plan now regardless Rio: Okay Buster: Okay for you Rio: More than okay Rio: apparently Buster: It would be if I'd play along properly Buster: Sadly, I'm not aiming to please that hard Rio: Shame Buster: Again, for you, yeah Rio: I know Rio: but I don't care about you, do I? Buster: Not enough, no Rio: Just wanna make you angry Buster: Apparently Rio: Yep Rio: so angry Buster: Don't worry, it ain't too difficult Buster: Even someone as nice & polite as you can manage Rio: Yeah Rio: I ain't special, am I Buster: Not to me Rio: Say it Buster: What? Rio: Say I'm not special to you Buster: It's already there in black & white Buster: You're not my sister either, you can read Rio: Please Buster: Why? Rio: Because it gets me off, right Rio: why else Buster: 'Cause I'm not interested in doing that Buster: Try again Rio: Why? Rio: however I get you to say it, end results the same Buster: No it's not Buster: Whatever I say, you know how I fucking feel Rio: If you say it enough we might both believe it Buster: That's the lie of the day Buster: Well done Rio: Try my best Buster: Try harder & do better Rio: I can't Buster: Bullshit Rio: Not today Buster: Why not? It's a day same as any other, yeah? Rio: No Rio: I saw you Rio: that's different Buster: Barely Buster: & you barely saw me last night either Rio: It was still Rio: different Rio: still true Buster: I'm not gonna be your excuse for why you feel shit Rio: You know that's not what I'm saying Buster: That's what not trying is & you said you can't 'cause of me Buster: So that is what you're saying Rio: it's not an excuse, I know what I did Rio: but it still hurts it's still shit Buster: I'm not gonna feel sorry for you either Rio: I know Rio: that's the worst bit Buster: How the fuck did you think this was gonna play out? Rio: I didn't think Rio: and I didn't think someone would film it and make sure everyone saw Buster: You obviously did think Buster: You made a choice Rio: What, the choice to get with some cute lad at a party Rio: plenty of people were doing the same, you were Buster: It wasn't a random party or a random lad Buster: You can say it wasn't about me as much as you want but Buster: You made a choice that you knew would affect me Rio: And I've been making choices all morning to try and do anything to make it alright Rio: why do they could for shit and that one is everything Buster: 'Cause you can't unfuck him Buster: I can't unsee or unhear everything I have since Rio: then you have to stop Rio: you know Rio: it has to be you, if I can't do anything now, if I've made my choice Buster: Alright Rio: Okay? Buster: Easy Rio: I hope it is Rio: for you Buster: Everything's easy for me, babe Buster: Remember Rio: No Rio: but good Buster: Anything else? Rio: I'm actually going home now so you don't have to lie to your fam about it Buster: I wasn't planning to Rio: Alright Rio: Bye Buster: See you around when there's no other choice Rio: Not as hard to avoid each other still as we pretended before Rio: plenty been doing it just fine for years Buster: It's never been hard to avoid you, I just didn't wanna Rio: I know Buster: Unknow it Buster: Or at least pretend, like Rio: I told you Rio: I'll try Buster: You tell me loads of things Buster: 99% of 'em bullshit Rio: That's us Buster: There ain't an us, that's the point Rio: Was, then Buster: Fuck the past, it's gone Rio: Yeah Buster: Consider that kid dead & buried Rio: You can't make me Buster: Watch me Rio: No, I can't Buster: Don't be a pussy Rio: I can't watch this Rio: but that suits you fine too Buster: It only hurts if you let it Buster: That suits me fine too Rio: I don't have a choice in that Buster: Yeah you do Rio: No Buster: Seriously Rio: Seriously, I don't Rio: I meant it Rio: you have to stop it Rio: I can't do this Buster: I already said I will Buster: Consider it done Rio: Thank you Buster: Don't Buster: We ain't doing each other favours Buster: Whatever I do or don't is for me Rio: It helps me regardless so just take it alright Buster: I won't Rio: Buster Rio: Please stop replying now Buster: [does because ultimately always gonna give her what he thinks she wants]

[thanakite]

The price of an actually decent laptop that at minimum has the potential to last longer is so fucking irritating to me

The only "affordable" laptops these days seem to be Chromebooks which can be barely used if you ask me as you are limited to having to put everything into a Google drive and largely cannot install new software onto it or anything so unless you do basically nothing on your computer it is not enough for you (plus you're handing even more of your soul to Google if that's a thing that bothers you)

Like I was reading through some lists lately and any actually good laptop is going to be $1000+ and that isn't including the price of some of the things you have to add to them

You can get some moderately okay laptops for $500-$800 (still an enormous expense for many), but realistically these are still not that great, durability is an issue and one wrong move could leave you fucked or at minimum dealing with something irritating until you can afford a new one, a lot of laptops are being made with less and less USB ports (some are apparently even shifting to having USB-C charging ports which is an issue because while we do need to be better about universal chargers laptops should have a separate set universal charger from a phone especially if the laptop in question is going to be used to run programs that will rapidly drain the battery, as I have literally already had times where my charger was slow enough that playing an app drained it while it was plugged in and needed a chunk of time before it was ready again which isn't going to translate well for people who need to do things like that on their laptop for long periods), they have much less RAM, and the base level storage can be an issue if you need a lot of software or have a large number of big files

None of this even addresses that most laptops now no longer come with CD players so if you want to use one you have to buy a portable one that connects to computers, and then use a USB port (if you even have one since many Chromebooks don't have any) and then you can use it, that Bluetooth devices are/can be spotty in their connectability and die much faster than other others that connect whether wired or wirelessly through a USB port, that if you have to pay to store all of your shit in Google Photos then you are essentially renting storage for your laptop from the people who removed it as an option (can still be said if you use another laptop and or storage brand) , and so much else

Like, I cannot use a desktop computer because of chronic conditions that prevent me from being upright for extended periods, I have to have a laptop, and many others are also in the "Can't reasonably use a desktop computer" boat for a variety of reasons (a major part of which can in fact be space as the housing market continues to limit how much space a person can afford to a severe degree and also portability as you'd either have to be completely fine not being able to take it places or become heavily reliant on a method to move everything on your computer around in a portable manner without just getting a laptop too)

This is a huge issue even if you don't think it is, as society is moving more and more into online spaces but actually being able to afford a laptop that suits your needs (and could also help you more long term) is behind a paywall to keep people poor

It reminds me of the boot issue, where a richer person can afford to buy the $200 boots for work they are doing and it will last them a very long time (more than paying for themselves in the end) while a poorer person might only be able to afford the $20-$50 ones that they have to replace every year (or every 6 months or whatever). This is it on a bigger scale, a richer person can afford the $1500 laptop up front and it can last them a long time (still not incredibly long since planned obsolescence is a bitch) and do everything they want while a poorer person might only be able to afford the $800 laptop and can do most of what they want and a much poorer person will have to scrimp and save to even hope to afford the cheap Chromebooks which will not do most of what they want and will continually cost them money until it breaks after a year or 2 (like maximum) and they are forced to buy a new one

Makes me so frustrated

[ryujin-zanba]

this is a fic that my very dear friend @katherine-ciejek encouraged me to write (*´∀｀*) she had a huge hand in coming up w/ ideas for this so please check out her writing @imagine-some-fluffy-asks and credit her too ;3;

i’ll be posting this story in five installments. it’s reader/ebumi and is v plot heavy~ tw; for body image issues, angst, hurt/comfort & verbal abuse. the first chapter includes all of these things as well as his abuser before the reader appears but dw its a happy ending with lots of fluff  (•́ ω•̀)

“Heh, Masaru, you’re so cute.”

“Nah,” the blond grins slyly, leaning on the door frame with his eyes transfixed on his partner, “you’re the cute one!” “Come on babe, shirt off,” they playfully command. “I’ve been waiting to see my big, strong, rugby-playing boyfriend shirtless all week.” They say it with particular enunciation on those all-defining masculine features, and perhaps there’s a little too much pride in the term ‘rugby-playing boyfriend’ specifically. Ebumi is oblivious to any potential for ulterior motives, or the possibility that he is being used, however. It’s been a long time since the second-year delinquent has felt this much purpose and excitement in life. Being in a relationship has turned lonely nights with rented DVDs and cigarette breaks driven by fits of anxiety into a thing of the past. It is amazing how having one special person can flip everything around. They have become his idol; a thing of worship and Ebumi hasn’t ever considered himself a romantic before, but love has proven itself to be a many-splendored thing indeed. Perhaps this unabashed, unrestrained flood of devotion and dependence on one person is why it is so hard to put himself back together when he feels, for just an awful moment, that every fragment he used to build his world has been smashed, swept up, and put in the bin along with his heart. He quickly brushes aside the comment. He must have heard it wrong, or misinterpreted it. His love would never intentionally hurt him like that, of course they wouldn’t! It’s his fault, obviously. He’s an idiot after all; stupid Ebumi who’s only good for getting into fights and lending out money. Naturally he would take things the wrong way, that’s just his bad habits reappearing. “Oh… wow, I did not expect you to look like that,” they said with deliberate and apparent distaste.  “H— how do you mean?” Ebumi murmurs, his grip tightening on the hem of his shirt after at first being so eagerly removed. “Come here; let me take a closer look at you.”

He obliges. His partner is surely keen to disprove themselves and simply wants to reaffirm how much they adore him, just like they said. They had said that. ’Masaru, you’re so cute.’ He remembers it!

“Are those… oh my g— for real? Do you have stretch marks?! You do! Look!”

“Huh?” Ebumi flinches, looking down at his hips; dimpled where his partner’s fingertips press without care into the plush skin. “Oh gosh,” they chuckle then, “look at this belly as well, that’s not what it’s meant to be like.” “What do you mean? Why isn’t it?” Ebumi wonders, trying so hard not to react to it as if it’s an insult. 

Of course it isn’t, his love would never do anything to intentionally hurt him. It’s his fault: stupid Ebumi… who really feels like crying.

“Well, y'know… good looking rugby players are all fit and toned. No stretch marks or muffin tops,” they snicker. “Like Sekizan! He’s how I imagine a real rugby player to look!”

That cuts through him like a white hot blade angled straight at his heart, and he squirms uncomfortably as he tries to get out of their scrutinising grip.

Their fingers only press deeper into his hips when he retreats though, his partner squinting in a way that can only be described by him as hateful. Like they hate what they see, they hate how he is; they hate him, because he’s not Sekizan. “B— babe,” he tries weakly, his voice breaking as he pushes away their vicious hands. “Mm,” his partner responds thoughtfully as they relinquish their clawed hold and slump over the edge of the bed. “Well, you’re okay, I guess. Not quite there… but you’re alright.” “W— what can I do?” Ebumi pleads, almost immediately accepting this treatment when he comes to the conclusion that if he doesn’t try to appease his love then they will abandon him. “Mmmm,” they ponder in a listless tone. “Maybe just keep your shirt on to be honest. At least I can pretend you’re different under there then.” Ebumi’s heart is fragile, contrary to what others would expect of him, but this is more than enough to wound anyone immeasurably, and possibly even beyond repair. The aching weight in his chest sinks right into the pit of his stomach as a heavy, painful sadness branches out into his extremities. You said you loved me how I am, he wants to reason, but he’s become apathetic all of a sudden, his sense of conviction and self-esteem in complete tethers. “I… I should go home,” he manages to grind out through chattering teeth, tugging his shirt on and hiding his ugly, shameful body that has allegedly repulsed his partner so much. “Might be best, I’m not really in the mood now, y'know?” They say as if that’s perfectly reasonable and that he has utterly disappointed them. “I— I’ll call you,” Ebumi promises, hoping that if he walks away now and tries again tomorrow he’ll be graced with the realisation that this whole thing was nothing more than a nasty dream. “Oh you don’t have to babe, I’ll call you actually!” They lie smoothly, masking their malice with the sweet dressing of a pet-name. Ebumi tries his best to smile after he’s fully dressed himself again and is about to close the door behind him. “B— bye— goodnight,” he stutters, nodding before taking his leave. He’s glad it’s dark so that no one can see the bitter tears streaming down his burning cheeks as he leaves his partner’s house. He’s glad no one is ever home for him, either, when he curls up in bed, ignoring the note and the money from his mother. And he’s glad that no one cares that he’s crying himself to sleep without dinner.

That awful evening rudely persists in the fact that it was, tragically, reality. Ebumi has felt rotten for days; he hasn’t eaten, he hasn’t stopped crying, and he hasn’t been to school once.

He just lays in bed, not daring to walk past a mirror, and staring hopefully at the harsh bright screen of his phone, clinging to the possibility that he’ll get a text from his love that will alleviate his worries and his desperation. For three days though he receives nothing, except from his teammates reminding him of an upcoming match. He ignores them all, even Matsuo. There’s nothing and no one else that he needs as much as his partner. Even just a vacant, ‘hi there,’ would satiate him. But, funnily enough, not long after thinking this, he is blessed with something just like that… from you. He frowns at his phone, having thought he’d temporarily blocked any incoming messages from anyone besides his partner, but there you are on his lock-screen. It’s a picture message, and he deliberates over opening it; his thumb dancing above the home button before, for whatever reason he decides to, he actually clicks it.

'Made me think of you, isn’t it cute??’ Is the caption that accompanies a rather disgruntled looking tawny owl with ruffled feathers and one eye narrowed, squinting at the camera.

Regardless of the state he’s in and the misery he has allowed himself to succumb to, for the first time in three whole days, Ebumi smiles and begins to type back.

'Y bcoz he’s fuck ugly ?’

You get his message, and are quick to return it, knowing what a breakthrough this is given that no one else has heard from him.

'Nooo, he’s beautiful! (´；Д ；｀)’ you insist.

For a split second upon reading this, a flitter of genuine belief and gratefulness blossoms, and Ebumi almost begins to type out a desperate plea to know if you are serious and if you think that of him.

He shakes his head and scowls, berating himself quietly before he settles for, 'where did u c him ?’

'In the park~ they came for a day out with the bird sanctuary LOL’

He’s at a loss for how to reply to that. He has no energy to ask more questions that won’t really lead to much in the way of substantial conversation, but at the same time, he doesn’t want you to stop talking.

His heart jumps a little when he sees that you’re already writing another message though, and he gnaws his thumb in anticipation, a slight curl to the corner of his mouth.

'So hey! the guys said you’ve been off for a while, if you’re ill do you want any shopping bringing over or anything?’

You know full well that he isn't ill. That is just Ebumi’s default cover story for the times he takes off to brood or avoid people while he gets over something, but you humour the facade for his sake, knowing there’s probably a good reason for his distance.

'Nah thnx,’ he types with a smile, 'b back 2morrw ᕙ(•̀∀•́)ᕗ’

'Back to torment us so soon Ebucchi ψ(ಥ◇ಥ)Ψ’

The blond laughs out loud as he reads your final message, and he goes over the conversation several times, renewing his grin every instance he relives the interaction.

Tonight he finds the will to order himself food, and he goes to sleep surprisingly without a single thought of the message he’d been waiting on all this time, but of seeing you in class the next day instead.