#are you effing kidding me

[televinita]

a post I sent to drafts on Feb. 25

(but am posting now for context because I’ve finally made progress and gotten halfway through the series)

Me, rolling up to watch Essex Serpent for Tom Hiddleston: woo!

Me learning the female lead/love interest is Claire Danes: oh

Me learning Tom Hiddleston’s character is already married to a very lovely (in both face and personality) woman: NO

 >:(

[first-full-moon]

shout out to google docs for somehow being able to turn "thwours" into "thrown" but missing FLINGERS.

[girl-drink-drunk]

DAVE FOLEY ON NIGHT COURT, BABES!!!

[alithetiredartist]

The dramatic irony of everything happening with Jojo Siwa is so fucking hilarious

First she exploits a disabled child -not hilarious- repeats the cycle of abuse that she was subjected to on dance moms with her own show, allegedly cheats on her girlfriend, etc, etc. then she goes through her “switch” and goes through her 14 year old emo phase at 20.

Tell me why this kid has the audacity to sing a song called Karma.

She tries so hard. She’s trying so hard to make it seem like she’s making the most dramatic change of her generation, she’s completely changed, no more rainbow glitter dance moms now we have emo sparkle darkness revenge fairy. She wants people to think she wrote Karma. She talks about her writing process, and she says how brilliant she is for thinking it up, but she also says that it was pitched to her a few times so we can’t accuse her of lying.

I think on paper this plan was probably a great idea, a chance to break out of her reputation for bows and glitter, but the execution is nothing but a disappointment. I think instead of going emo and taking inspiration from things she doesn't understand and being genuine, the switch honestly could've been welcomed with open arms but she's not genuine and she doesn't want to make a natural switch. She wants to be risky because she thinks it'll make her look cool or someone higher up decided for her and she went along with it because that's what'd make more money or maybe her mom made her.

Once it came out that Jojo didn't only not write the song herself, she wasn't even the first one to record it, that's when the irony of the situation kicks in. I know absolutely nothing about Brit Smith but she's and icon and I love her with my whole heart.

Brit Smith releasing her version of Karma and it doing better than Jojos is my favorite form of dramatic irony because of course this all happened to a song named Karma.

[dewitty1]

Saturday Six (Stuff)

I'd been feeling severely anxious and depressed about my business being dead, and the thought of having to talk to my parents and ask for help again, but luckily my whinging (an Ad) on Facebook seems to have worked, and I got a nice little customer job. Plus some stuff from my BFF and her family (possibly).( ´͈ ॢꇴ `͈ॢ)･*♡

Plus I'm getting weird customer messages. Always a good time.(⑅ ‘﹃’ )

Leeloo is a cute kitten, but she is seriously a little bit of a terrorist. When I say she gets into everything I mean it. (^・ω・^ )

I do not like having this sinus crud that's going around.(*｀へ´*)

I know both options for the USA presidency are terrible. But one (CHUMP) is more terrible. I'm tired of the argument. I'm gonna stick with the slightly better Grandpa Joe. Not because I love him, because I don't. But because he's the one that'll get us closer to where we need to go. We may take three steps forward and two steps back, but at least we're going in the right direction. Whereas the other guy has no idea where he's going. Maybe towards Vladimir. More likely than you think.( •̀ω•́ )σ

I can't believe I'm going to be five and a half decades old in a little over a month. Jfc. I don't feel that old. (•̀ᴗ•́)و ̑̑

[moonstrider9904]

Tumblr users: We have a bot crisis

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THE REPORT PAGE NOW SAYS BOT! SUCCESS!

[mutinouscaptain]

okay but like the captain in the golden vanity is so barbossacore though

[eirianerisdar]

No F this I am done

Some people don’t deserve to be parents

I am on yet another day and half shift and this 12 day old baby just came in with her bilirubin sky high and her weight super low (she’s still at birth weight and had lost weight since her fifth day of life) because THE FREAKING SHITS THAT CALL THEMSELVES HER PARENTS had been only breastfeeding her for 10 minutes every 3 hours and topping up with 20ml of formula BY CUP AND NOT BY BOTTLE and she’s so severely dehydrated she’s PEEING ONLY ONCE EVERY TWELVE HOURS

AND GUESS WHAT THE TOILET STAIN OF A FATHER SAID WHEN I WAS LIKE WHAT THE HECK DO YOU THINK A 12 DAY OLD BABY CAN DO WITH A CUP OF MILK

He was like Huh? I thought it was ok. The baby didn’t like drinking milk it’s not my fault

THIS IS THEIR SECOND CHILD HOW IS THE FIRST EVEN FREAKING ALIVE

[riding-with-the-wild-hunt]

Do you have any headcanons about the kidnap fam, especially Mae’s interactions with the twins and mags, and how his trauma affects them? Thx :)

my dear new friend. of course. what else would approximately 68.3% of my brain space be devoted to?

i think maedhros was a gentle parent, the let me do that for you. are you sure? wear a jacket. don't be frightened. you need to eat one out of the pair. as he became more vicious towards his enemies post-angband, so he became proportionately--perhaps even disproportionately--gentler with anyone under his care. he fastidiously keeps his own pain and trauma and fear as far away from elrond and elros as he possibly can. he's always afraid of damaging them the way he's been damaged, a fear that he channels into protection, so he's very much the watchdog of the family unit. when e&e are younger, i think that they read this as inaccessibility or coldness, and there's some resentment there, especially given that they don't know very much about maedhros's reasoning and the motivation behind his actions. i really don't imagine maglor and maedhros having a good relationship at this point, and i think, to some degree, maglor actually encourages this thought process in the twins, or at least doesn't actively discourage it. i think maedhros also feels a lot more guilt about the whole kidnapping-and-home-destruction thing than maglor does, or is just better at processing it, which motivates his protectiveness and desire to be a good parent. there's a piece of him that's trying to make the twins his own little restitution project--that if he does a good job, he'll be able to balance out his other actions.

i think maglor was an intense parent, always fluctuating between extremes. when he's in a stable, happy mood, i honestly think he would be wonderful to e&e, much more like an older sibling than a parent. he plays with them, gives them gifts, really showers them with love and affection in the effusive way that maedhros wasn't quite able to do. he's fun and silly and caring and seems to know everything, which is awesome when you're eight and want to know what bugs eat or why fire is warm. but on the flipside, i think he could have long periods of despondency and anxiety where he was barely able to look after himself, much less care for the twins, or intense energy, which would manifest in anger and recklessness. honestly, i think at some points, a lot of maedhros’s fears for the twins’ safety would be precipitated by maglor’s behavior towards them (he would put them in dangerous situations, involve them in arguments as pawns to make maedhros feel guilty, or be materially and emotionally neglectful). maglor was deeply unpredictable and when he lashed out, he lashed out hard. he could be threatening, manipulative, and hurtful, and his struggles with accountability often prevented him from really apologizing or even talking about it. elros, i think, was a lot closer to maglor and would often take his side, even as an adult, portraying him as a wholly good and caring parent and accusing elrond of exaggerating his faults to make maedhros look better and maedhros of being biased.

e&e, especially as teenagers, i think, felt a lot of frustration and impatience with m&m’s shared unwillingness to have upfront conversations about difficult topics. maglor and maedhros would have discussions (on good days) and rows (on bad days) about these things in front of e&e, but they were often exceedingly vague and truncated. elrond and maedhros talked a few times about maedhros’s past towards the end of their time together, and maglor definitely told elros a lot more than he let on to mae he had, but they never really talked things over, leaving elrond and elros to come to their own, often incorrect conclusions, or find out later.

during the kidnap-fam era, i think, as i’ve mentioned before, that m&m’s relationship was really deteriorating. depending on how well maglor was doing, maedhros often had to play parent to him as well as to the twins. this generated a lot of bitterness between the two of them, as maedhros was frustrated by what he saw as maglor’s incessant need for melodrama and attention and maglor felt that maedhros didn’t care about their family and their relationship as much as he should. to get some kind of emotional rise out of maedhros, maglor would often turn to provocation or manipulation--he would start arguments, threaten to hurt himself unless maedhros did something he wanted, use the twins as a guilt-tripping device, or be sexually perturbing. maedhros would rise to the bait, whatever it was, then berate himself for being amoral. most of the time, m&m were caught in a feedback loop of masochism and self-hatred that looks something like this:

provocation from maglor → violence from maedhros → inappropriate reaction from maglor → maedhros feeling he’s the root problem because of Internalized Issues™️ → maedhros withdraws → maglor gets lonelier → provocation from maglor

and so on. they’re both terribly unhappy most of the time. :)

anyways, thank you so much for asking! i treasure you with all my heart ❤❤❤

[bloodspeckledraphael]

Anyone else seen the cluster fuck of the Wolfpack series trailer and immediately got so many teen wolf vibes it should be fucking illegal?!!! I think we really need to take his werewolf privileges away...

If you don't know what I mean...look it up...

[televinita]

I am literally a Chandler meme today going “shut up [about voting]! shut up [about voting]! shut uppppppppp!”

[nishicchikouchi]

If I read something, I cant rest easy until I know a bit of spoilers to keep myself on reading it. Anyways, I spoiled myself about undercover professor, and guess what I happy elated, but at the same time so FRUSTRATED.

[asmolbirb]

BARBIE PRINCESS AND THE PAUPER V3????????

They did a SECOND REMAKE??????

[abraxos-the-phantom]

Practiced Suffering

a/n: i'm in a mood

tw: mentions of gun violence and school in relation to each other; vague mention of a previously encountered situation regarding another teacher and student (though not necessarily involving affairs of any kind) reader's descretion is advised

Yan Fenglang realized very early on that the meaning of pain, the meaning of suffering, was very different here than what she remembered.

Here, pain was hurt. Here, pain meant being hit - being slapped - being stabbed. Here, pain was a tangible thing usually caused by something or someone else. Here the suffering of society only so far extended into the higher ups, the people who decided on what is to be done and how to get it done. The people who held and managed resources and held the duty of ownership.

Here, reputation was key - yet not in the way Yan Fenglang knew. There was no presence of anonymity, no concept of personas in the way that she knew. The delicate dance of society and propriety was a much less complex version to the one she knew.

For a woman born into a time where words meant more than their definitions, for a woman born into a day and age where mental fortitude is a valued strength, it almost seemed rather mundane.

"Work Hard. Play Hard."

She always felt the saying infuriating. The meaning made sense, good hard work always made for a more satisfying rest, yet in her world 'hard' could often be confused with 'suffering'. Hard meant dealing with unreasonable customers. Hard meant taking the abuse of superiors for fear of losing income and therefore safety. Hard meant struggling to decide the line between helpful and unhealthy.

Work hard play hard.

Even if she couldn't see, she needed to fire.

Even if she couldn't read, she needed to learn.

Even if she struggled to breathe, she needed to run.

She did. Even if it meant suffering.

What choice did she have? It was the way of her world, it is the way to survive. Suffering is a fact.

Until it wasn't.

In another life, Yan Fenglang cracked. In another life, Yan Fenglang would have raged to the heights of suffering and pain unlike never before seen, for this world has not yet seen a suffering so well endured. This world held no concept of the fragile mind hastily patched by platitudes of the well-meaning; this world was one of physical labor still.

Yan Fenglang's world was one of mind games and mental facilities. Yan Fenglang's world was one where a single income was calculated and split, Yan Fenglang's world was a massive test in patience and control. A constant battle of necessity vs. want to a scale beyond comprehension. Yan Fenglang knew exactly the thing to say to get something or to get out of it, she had undergone training of how to talk down the frantic and the crazed, the ones with little else left to tether their fragile sanities.

She was a teacher of her world, so she knew how to organize bunkers. She knew how to train children to hide in small spaces and not make a sound, she knew how to explain to a child how disguise their presence with the blood of another. She knew the exact words to coach a child on how to best deal with a gunshot. She knew how easy it was to never realize you had been shot in the first place.

She knew how to file a police report against a fellow professor.

She knew to backup incriminating evidence.

She went to the gym only because she needed enough strength to pull a great amount of weight with little to no issue. She knew a lot of things.

Her world was not easy, and neither was the one she found herself in. But sometimes, sometimes she was happy she was no longer where she was.

Sometimes, she was glad she died and escaped it.

[metacove]

Someone out there is watching Cabin in the Woods

[canobugs]

imagine like a true crime documentary on percy jackson like

"so this kid and his mom just disappeared one night, car crashed, blood on the scene no bodies"

"oh my god"

"his stepfather believed he was responsible for the whole thing. mind you this kid was TWELEVE"

"that sounds nuts honestly"

"right? so this kid and his mom go missing, step-dad blames him. kid turns up near New Jersey and a bus explodes."

"shut the fuck up? do they have photos of it?"

"yeah, so a tourist snapped his photo because he recognized him from the missing person's report. by the way, this kid's rap sheet is... it's insane. six schools six years. he was expelled the day of the disappearance."

"seriously?!"

"Yeah, I reached out to the school, but they had no further comment. so 5 shows up AGAIN, saint Louis Arch, another explosion. he FELL from the top of the arch."

"how the fuck did he survive that, what the hell?"

"I have no idea, but a family of three saw him jump from the top into the Mississippi."

"That’s insane."

"It gets more insane; so he shows up on a beach near Los Angeles, right after those major earthquakes? He and the two kids he was traveling with, I forgot to mention there are two other children in this story, but their identities have never been revealed."

"That is wild."

"Yeah! The Coast Guard drops them off because they were just... in the ocean."

"How on earth would three kids get there?"

"Some theories are they got swept out when the earthquake hit, they managed to cling to a buoy and wait for rescue."

"They were that far out?"

"Apperently!! So anyway, they get onto the beach. This dude in a trench coat starts blasting at them with a shotgun."

"Jesus Christ."

"And this kid somehow gets another gun, and they just have a shoot out on the beach."

"holy shit."

"Holy shit is right. The big guy manages to hit an exposed gas line from the earthquake, explodes like three cop cars, and by some miracle, no casualties."

"That is so lucky."

"YEAh! So it was determined that this dude orchestrated the whole thing! He was seen by waitresses in Denver outside of a diner, THREATENING all three kids."

"Really? fuck this guy that kid is a hero."

"He really is."

"So did they ever arrest him?"

"That’s what's so fucked up. They never found him."

"Are you effing kidding me?"

"Thatwhat I said when I read that like? Hello? big dude with a gun kidnapped 4 people. but that isn't the most confusing part of the story."

"Really?"

"So far, I haven't mentioned his mother and Step-father again. She turns up in their apartment."

"Just turns up?"

"She just turns up. but you know what? the step-father is reported missing."

"no fucking way dude"

"yes! and we still don't know what happened to him to this day."

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honestly I would listen to it.