#art centre life drawing classes are Always during work hours

[monster-noises]

Me: I understand if i want to make more connections and find more cool things to be a part of i have to get out there and Do things and got to Events; so I am going to try and go to some local art events!

My job: i thinK the fuck NOT!!!!!

[edge-oftheworld]

5sosverse solo + sgfg + somewhere new songs as keys based on this post

c major: childhood cartoons, always asking why, finds delight in all kinds of weather, captivates people with their childlikeness, enjoys the simple things in life, not troubled by the complexities of adulthood, lives in the moment a beautiful dream

c minor: struggling in life, doing their best with mixed results, feels misunderstood by people, hard to get to know, stays up late with coffee but ends up reflecting on the past instead of actually doing work, cynical garden life

d-flat major: sunlit apartment, always has a cup of tea/coffee/hot chocolate ready, curls up under a blanket by the window on a rainy day, small bathroom plants, carries a book around with them, has unread books but still looks for more books to buy sunshine

c-sharp minor: hanging out in pubs, loves to admire the full moon when walking home at night, wandering around old streets and cobblestone paths at night, silently enjoying the evening wind, bright lipstick and messy but cute hair ashtons new wicked habits song

d major: the opposite of a procrastinator, carries a planner around and actually uses it, organised schedule, unintentionally scares people by their strive for excellence, can be bossy at times, always looks on the bright side of things even when they don’t go as planned airplanes

d minor: tries to find hope but fails, has a small circle of friends they don’t talk to much, feeling betrayed by everyone, had a painful past they would rather forget but can’t, thankful for that one friend who reaches out to them close enough to feel you

e-flat major: always the leader in group projects, appreciates old church buildings, hymns and folk songs, draws attention but not in the way they’d like, wants to be remembered for who they are, a joy to work with money

e-flat minor: sitting at a 24 hour restaurant at 2am, weird sense of humour, abstract art, doesn’t say much, city lights at night, can actually be happy but prefers not to show it, isn’t put off by dark themes in literature, minimalist spaces shakes

e major: bright sunny mornings, always eats breakfast, sometimes wakes up to watch the sun come up, can be a little naive at times, retains a childlikeness about them, picnics under a tree on weekends, fights for justice, does good just because they can the sweetness

e minor: centre of attention, finger guns, football and rugby, probably the class clown during their school days, unable to keep a straight face during serious situations, always thinking of the next joke or meme, known for hilarious stories at work or in school she’s kinda hot

f major: dinner parties, playfully teasing their loved ones, can be impatient at times, some sadness beneath their smile, constant note-to-self thoughts to get their act together, stays calm and in control of things, enjoys watching sunsets, always there for their friends benny

f minor: used to tough situations, comfortable sports clothes, many-in-one tools, cat-like grace, light on their feet, prepared for an emergency, enjoys thunderstorms, always bounces back, strong will and determination, hair flying in the wind fly away

f-sharp major: potted plants, scent of chamomile, gardening tips, will invite people over on a whim, gives off that “everything will be okay” vibe, loves to give and receive hugs, sunlight filtering through a window, occasionally pushes boundaries for fun matter of time

f-sharp minor: captivating, scared of judgment from other people, too shy to initiate plans, tubs of ice cream, netflix marathons, avoids conflict, can handle things on their own but would rather not, hates crowded places, never finishes their to-do list promises

g major: light-hearted, pranks, loves april fools’ day, misinterprets sarcasm, has a heart of gold that doesn’t always show due to blunders, tries to include everyone, loyal to friends, believes in doing things right even if it takes a lot of time, clumsy san francisco

g minor: argumentative, used to be in the school debate team, would make a great lawyer, looks for loopholes in the opposing side’s argument, pensive, emotionally turbulent, has a soft side that few people know about greyhound

a-flat major: loves baking for their friends, jars of cookies on the windowsill, wooden furniture, coffee shops in quiet towns, keeps jewelry in boxes, treats friends to lunch, knows when you say you’re okay and you’re really not drive

g-sharp minor: an old soul, graceful movements, dislikes many aspects of modern society, secretive, hard to get to know, nobody really knows them, comes across as strong, hardworking, scares people away without meaning to gotta get out

a major: impulsive, wants their way, draws people to them, constant changes in mood, knows what they want and how to get it, prefers spontaneity to detailed plans, doesn’t like schedules, always on the go, friendly, randomly bursting into song unpredictable

a minor: gazing out the window, dreary sighs, wishes to have their old life back, looks at old photos and souvenirs, hope for the future, deals with internal conflict, wonders what their life could have been, unfulfilled dreams close my eyes

b-flat major: nature walks, loves to identify constellations, hiking shoes and track pants, loves camping, cute poems for the people they like, slightly bothered by popular people but ultimately moves on, likes to learn for the sake of knowledge have u found what ur looking for

b-flat minor: late nights at the office, usually wears formal attire, suppresses feelings too much for their own good, appears successful at first glance but is actually struggling internally, remorseful after getting really angry, wants to heal from the past but doesn’t know how out of my limit

b major: sleeps in on weekends, visual artist, creative, doodling on scraps of paper and in notebooks, odd sleeping hours, doesn’t like offices, works on a different schedule from everyone else, moves slowly but with purpose scar

b minor: always expecting the worst of any situation, enjoys fine wine, art galleries and museums, ambitious but doesn’t realise their ambitions, acts like a little kid at times, hides under the blanket, sometimes has a bit of hope but it soon fades I’m still your boy

KEY DESCRIPTIONS NOT MINE, SEE LINKED POST FOR SOURCE

[peachhyychenle]

bloom bloom, heart | h.rj

'bloom bloom pow! the moment i met you, i felt like i'd explode. my heart fluttered. i hope it's not a dream' - bloom bloom, the boyz

pairing: florist!renjun x reader

genre: fluff

word count: 1.6k

for the nostalgic melodies event hosted by @knet-bakery

playlist: bloom bloom the boyz, life still goes on nct dream, dive into you nct dream, cherry kisses chungha

a/n: my first fic for an event!! i hope you all enjoy this as much as i enjoyed writing it. also,, go check out everyone else that participated in the event!! oh, i also haven't had the time to proof-read this so, sorry lmao.

summary: flowers held many different meanings, and renjun loved that. from giving someone a baby's breath to giving them peonies, he loved how up front the message was, yet how hidden it was to someone that didn't understand their true meanings. You had always adored flowers, the colours, the scents, the meanings. And so, every week, you would go into Floral Dreams, to buy new flowers to draw, however Renjun would always throw in additional flowers to express his ever-growing crush on you, unbeknownst to him you understood every word.

If you had told Renjun this time last year he would be working part time as a florist, he would've simply laughed. But yet here he is, adorning a black apron, rearranging the plants in the display cabinet.

Floral Dreams was a great place for Renjun. It was never too busy, it was a five minute walk to his apartment and, thanks to Donghyuck, he has learned far more about flowers in the past month than he has learned about art history at his uni classes. He would never admit it to him, but Renjun was intrigued by the meanings each flower held.

From the bluebell to the yellow carnation, every flower held a different meaning. At first, Renjun couldn't care less. They were just flowers after all, their only job to him was to sit and look pretty. However the longer he spent in the floristry, the more his curiosity and his passion grew.

And now here he was, currently wiping down the counter he had just used to arrange a bouquet for somebody's birthday.

As he returned behind the till, the soft chime of the shop door bell rang. He glanced over and locked eyes with you. You seemed to be a regular. always popping in on a Wednesday afternoon, no matter the weather, to buy different pre-made bouquets. At first, Renjun found it odd how you would only buy one particular colour palette of flowers or even just a singular flower, however as you came in more often than not with a camera bag over your shoulder along with a sketchbook poking out the top of the tote bag you carried, it started becoming clear why you would buy them.

His current theories are that you are an artist that just really liked to paint flowers (specifically pink and yellow varieties) or you're a plant mum that just has an apartment filled to the brim with colourful flowers and plants.

His first hunch was correct.

A few months ago, you had moved into Neo City in order to attend the local university and study fine art. It was an interesting place for sure. It was a quaint town yet there was always something going on, whether it be different celebrations for certain holidays or events, to small annual carnivals and parades that would happen.

During your first week of moving in, you had explored the town centre, natural curiosity getting the better of you. That was when you stumbled upon Floral Dreams. The forest green painting on the window frames along with several broad leafed plants sat outside the shop, charmed you.

You remember when you first met Renjun. It was a rainy Wednesday about a month after you had moved. Your classes had just finished and you decided to buy a small bouquet. Something to brighten your dreary dorm room. And so you headed to Floral Dreams. When you stepped into the shop, instead of the cheery greeting you would usually get from Donghyuck, you found that he was busy talking to another guy, Renjun.

Both boys had briefly glanced towards the door, with Donghyuck giving a small wave, whilst the other boy shot you a smile. He was cute.

Returning the wave with your own, you continued into the shop, looking at all the flowers, taking in their colours and scents. Five minutes had gone by and you had chosen all the flowers you had wanted and walked up to the counter to place your order.

You rang the small bell placed on the countertop and after a few seconds, the new guy from earlier emerged from the back room and properly greeted and introduced himself, Renjun.

To say he was pretty was an understatement. He had a soft smile, kind eyes and long hair which made him look ethereal. His voice was melodic. So melodic that you only snapped back to reality halfway through his sentence.

You purchased the flowers and had another look around the empty shop, this time to admire the blossoming flowers. Back at the counter, Renjun would glance at you, whilst he wrapped the bouquet, his mind thinking about your smile and vibe whilst his hands carefully wrapped the bouquet up.

When he was finished, he rang the desk bell to catch your attention. He handed you the flowers and you were on your way. Not before turning back to Renjun and shooting him one last smile with a cheerful goodbye.

From the moment you walked in, Renjun knew his heart had exploded and his slightly dull world would never be the same again.

Week after week you would come back to the shop. It was always at 4pm and it was always an hour into Renjun's shift. You guys had managed to acquaint yourselves and make small talk, with the weather and how both of you had been, being the usual topic of choice.

Today Renjun was determined to make a move. Whether it was changing the topic to be something more in depth, or giving his number to you, he was definitely going to do something. And so when you walked up to the counter to place your order, Renjun made his move. He asked the question that had been on his mind. Why in the heavens did you buy so many flowers? The laughter that followed made Renjun's heart flutter, it was beautiful.

You then proceeded to explain the reason you moved and why almost all the store's sales were from you. Upon hearing that you went to the same university he did, Renjun was enthralled and began talking about his passion for art and the history behind famous pieces.

Much to his dismay, his hands had a mind of their own, and had wrapped up your selected bouquet far too quickly for his liking. Just as you were about to grab the bouquet, Renjun let out a 'wait!' which made you pause.

He ran into the back room and came out a moment later with some ribbon along with a couple of gardenias and blue salvias. 'It'll make the bouquet look amazing, trust me' he said with that smile you had fallen for.

Once he was done, you took the flowers, bid him adieu and left, ready to take photographs of this masterpiece.

As soon as you left, Renjun let out a sigh of content and his heart started to calm down. He had a crazy idea to use what he had learned from Donghyuck, and to confess to you in the form of flowers.

It was a bold move, one that made him feel happy with himself.

Over the next couple of months the same routine would occur. You arrived, picked out flowers, ordered the bouquet, Renjun would wrap them up, you would take them, then leave.

However, as time went on, you began noticing flowers that you hadn't picked out.

For example, you had ordered a bouquet with mainly red flowers, with a couple of white ones to make it more visually appealing, however you don't really remember picking up the white camellia. Or that time you noticed a couple of yellow jasmines mixed with your sunflowers.

You eventually thought of looking up what these flowers meant. You knew one of your old high school flowers loved gardening and would often talk about flower meanings, but you had never paid any mind to them. Oh how you wish you had.

And so that's how you spent the evening on different websites looking at different meanings for all the flowers you could remember buying, and the definitions.

The morning after, you had a brilliant idea.

That next week, you came in at the usual time with a list on your phone of all the flowers you had never actually bought. You suspected that a certain someone kept slipping different flowers into your bouquet, which was actually quite sweet to you, however you were going to surprise him.

You picked out various flowers that were composed for a yellow, blue and white theme. You included the yellow jasmines and gardenias, along with the white camellias and blue salvias. Additional flowers were added and made a stunning bouquet, the best you had imagined yet.

For how quiet the shop was, your heart was thumping a lot louder than usual, despite this you walked to the till with a small smile. The normal routine went on, Renjun making conversation with you. The topic for today was conspiracies and aliens, which would usually be quite interesting to you, but your mind was in a different place.

Just as Renjun was tying the last ribbon up, a 'wait!' escaped your lips. A slightly startled Renjun paused to look at you. Dashing away to the front of the store, you picked out a red rose and walked back to where he was waiting.

Much to his surprise, you added the rose to the centre of the bouquet, pushed the bouquet towards him and then pulled out a letter that had been in your coat pocket and pushed it across the counter in his direction.

He froze. Almost everyone knew what a red rose meant.

He opened the letter. All the flowers he had given you with their meanings were listed, along with the red rose.

I love you.

Underneath was a small paragraph. His already racing heart began to explode as he read the words 'let's go on a date tomorrow' followed with your number underneath.

He looked back up to you. You were currently looking everywhere and anywhere that wasn’t Renjun.

Placing the letter down, he came around from behind the desk and hugged you. He could feel you tense up under him, however in a matter of seconds, your arms were around him, and a sigh of relief escaped your lips.

From the moment he met you, his heart had exploded, the colours in his world seemed to be brighter whenever you were there.

He loved hearing your laugh, seeing your smile, being in your presence.

Time felt non-existent with you.

He loved you, as much as you loved him.

And that was all he needed.

[heresyourramen]

Firebird - Choi Yeonjun x (Fem) Reader

Part of the Hamratia Collaboration by @delicatewerewolfsoul and @sleepylixie.

The artist is Choi Yeonjun, Greek god is Apollo and the deadly sin, pride.

Genre: Greek mythology/ ballet school AU, Angst, villain YN.

Word Count: 11 305

Warnings: Mentions of injury, swearing, the word boobs once, backstabbing (because that's showbizz babyyy), Villain YN, the tiktok audio "gatekeep, gaslight, girlboss" comes to mind, and the crippling pressure of never being perfect that is often found in any sport.

Description: Cupid might never be a victor when apposing Apollo in archery but he had still managed to bring the Sun God to his knees with a single of his arrows.

and he will continue to torment him for his prideful claims, for Daphne's heart will forever be pierced by Cupids led arrow.

Yeonjun, a principle dancer at the Laurier School of Ballet, had a lot going for him, he was from a well respected family within the performing arts community and had been granted a scholarship many in the school would envy him for. Sadly he did have one thing that was not going in his favour a rather tragic and unsuccessful love life, riddled with beautiful woman and men, even the lovers of his closest friends.

Until he one day finds himself Infatuated with a prize he could not attain.

A Firebird.

Honestly you could never tell if Yeonjun was actually naïve or just played dumb.

Girls and boys flocked to him and he seemed to fawn over whom ever piqued his interest most but it never lasted longer than a month, or someone cheated on someone or the relationship ended out being a fiery crash of hatred and venomous bouts in hallways with wide eyed audiences. Somehow he always acted as if he had gotten the short end of the stick, for a week forlorn before another beauty of sorts would be the centre of his attention. Sweet melodies would once again come from where ever he worked, a soft tenor promising spring and love and hope.

You steered clear.

If it wasn't an emotional roller-coaster enough being a double major, his affections would seem to be. No, you'd much rather work on your stubborn unsupple hips and relevés you always get scolded for than listen to whatever hot mess he had going on.

And god was it a loud hot mess. Your headphones blasting Dua Lipa wasn't even drowning out the heated argument between Yeonjun and his dance partner, seated in the corner of the massive practice room by the only corner without mirrors and filled with shelves for bags you keep your eyes on anything but the pair. You turn to face Jungkook who stood stretching as well but with none of the concerns of being caught as he watches curiously a humoured smirk on his lips. You had been lucky enough to be paired with the groups teaching assistant, just as well you were sure half the boys in your class couldn't even lift you. He senses your stare and looks down at where your sat opening up your hips his smirk stretching to a full blown smile, great at least someone was enjoying this spectacle. A shame really that the two strongest dancers in the class were paired up together for the showcase that would double as evaluations, it meant none of the other junior dancers would stand a chance at impressing anyone but also it was a shame that they also happened to be exes. You huff a small sigh through your nose as you get up from the floor and remove the headphones to put in your bag and to pull out the black training tutu. Jungkook had suggested it considering the challenge of the chosen dance itself that from the start you get used to how it would affect your movements, when he'd announced that the firebird pas de deux you'd nearly spilt more than half your coffee on him. It was insane, you'd thought, you were much better suited for contemporary styles and the Modern Jazz ensemble but Jungkook was patient and understanding most of the time as well as stern when necessary and since the performance would also affect his station in the school you didn't argue. Your fingers guide it over your stockings and over your leotard before fiddling where it had bent funny or folded. You turn towards the door a scowl set on your face at who ever barged in, you had booked the studio for the next three hours no one was supposed to come watch you clumsily stumble into Jungkook's arms.

A boy stood in the door way, eyes wide as it landed on you, you recognised him from around campus a friend of Yeonjuns and a classmate Seo Changbin. He wasn't all that tall but his black t-shirt was stretched taught over a broad chest and big arms, gaze sharp even hidden under his long dark fringe that swept over his forehead and eyes. His gaze matched yours and the unimpressed frown he wore disappeared for only a moment as it fell on you softening slightly as he held up a hand in a small wave to you and your partner respectfully. You dip your head in a nod as greeting before another angry curse draws his attention and yours to the bickering couple.

"Yeonjun-ah!" his voice was loud and sharp enough to make the two dancers stop.

"We will be late for class AGAIN, if you don't move your annoyingly firm ass NOW!" Yeonjun's eyes flickered to the clock above the doorway his friend had just burst through and cursed under his breath before running towards you and Jungkook to grab his bags leaving his dance partner to angrily stomp her way after him. You sweep past them in a wide arc and into the centre of the room as you test out the silky pointes arching up onto your toes and back down as you wait for Jungkook to plug in his phone to the sound system and start the music. He turns and nods at you and you take a step towards the edge of the room aware of the curious gazes on your figures. You stand ready and as soon as the whirring clarinet starts you start your leaping entrance before a twirling arabesque. One thing you cursed Jungkook for was that he managed to choose a dance that had you constantly moving. The door shut and announced they'd left leaving you to fight your way through the next three hours of strenuous technicalities.

Yeonjun would've applauded himself for his dress of choice the baggy grey sweatpants he wore over his tights and tight black t shirt he'd been training in had made it possible to switch out his own ballet shoes for some Jordan's easily enough before Changbin could pull him out of the studio by his hair. They managed to slide into the back seats of the lecture hall for music theory just on time.

"What's the dancer that was waiting with Jungkook Sunbae for you two to stop squabbling's name again?" Changbin murmured his gaze transfixed to the page of his notebook as he doodled away trying to force himself into a state of calm.

"Who?" Yeonjun frowned he hadn't cared much for the pair that waited, he was fully distracted by the small mistakes that his partner was making and would cost him his place as top student and his scholarship no doubt. Changbin looked up at him, any ounce of sympathy for his crappy partner and whatever patience he had left dissipated into the stuffy air of the dark lecture hall, how could he have so little care for the people around him daily? He'd seen you in the hallways with either a massive canvas bag or a baggy sweater over a leotard and skirt and always with a tight slicked back bun that emphasized a deadly serious gaze that often rolled back at the sight of them or rather Yeounjun and whomever he had hanging onto him that day.

"Oh you mean Y/N ?" Yeonjun eyes widened innocently, with the realization. Changbin nodded and Yeonjun shrugged his gaze lowering along with his posture as he slid down to slump his tired body into his chair.

"What about her?"

"Well... aren't they in our class? What do you think their presentation will look like? " Changbin inquired curiously as he watched his friend shrug again his eyes still trained at the slideshow the teacher was babbling over.

"Jungkook is the teaching assistant but he'd managed to pair up with a sub-par ballet dancer, poor guy. Her ankles are weak and she's too contemporary, her theatricality is commendable but mostly just makes her routines seem sloppy, why?" Yeonjun said with a small tug at the corner of his lips as he swept the dark black tresses from his eyes that never left their pacing lecturer. Because of this he missed the way Changbins irritated smirk dropped away, his lips pulling into an ugly straight line, an expression that had started showing more recently. He would agree there was room for an improvement, but there was for everyone in their class even the principle beside him. His temper was on a very short leash with his friend as he watched his arrogance grow after every break up. Yeonjun's love life was tragic, truly, and he'd feel bad for his friends pitiful attempts at relationships if he wasn't such a goddamn prick about it. Yeonjun had managed to date many a girl or boy that even his friends had some sort of interest in, always managing it in a way that made it seem he couldn't help himself and Changbin was tired of it, exhausted not even getting a chance. That small little proud smirk was still stuck on his friends face when he inquired once more.

"Are you not in the slightest bit worried that they might manage to out stage you?" Yeonjun had to muffle his loud 'Ha' with a cough as he snickered to himself his friends gaze growing darker as his frown deepened.

"Of course not but its cute that you worry for me 'Bin." Yeonjun answered with a sweet smile and a pat on the shoulder before focusing back on the class.

That would be it, Changbin thought, Yeonjuns own pride would be his downfall.

He'd make sure of it.

"Hi! Y/N, right?" the strange voice announced its presence loudly from beside the studio door, you're startled enough to drop the empty water bottle and your history book. To tired to even worry about it, you simply raise your hands over your eyes and sigh deeply, brushing the few loose strands that had managed to escape from the the gel and hairpins during the the gruelling three hour training session out of your face. One would imagine after two weeks your body would be used to it but alas. Every part of you ached, actually it was a relief not holding that 10 ton excuse of a book and you knew if you didn't open your eyes right away you'd fall asleep right there standing. You let your arms fall to your sides and raise your eyes to the culprit who stood holding your bottle and book a soft concern gracing his dark features.

"I'm so sorry, I didn't mind to startle you like that." He apologizes but doesn't make a move to hand you back your belongings.

"It's okay I'm pretty jumpy by nature." You wave him off not even attempting to muster the frustration you probably should have felt.

"Have you been training for the last couple of hours?" Changbins brow furrows and his eyes trail over your figure clad in some sweatpants and your training jumper. You nod slowly and pulling your phone out of your bag to check the time you'd ran over time, since no one had booked the slot for the studio after. Jungkook stepped out of the studio dark hair swept back as he pulled on his own black hoodie.

"Oh Jungkook, just who I'm looking for." Changbin says and he rests a soft hand on your elbow as he gently guides you out of the doorway his other still holding your stuff before falling away as he stands beside you

"Changbin Madame Jeong spoke to me earlier. Are you sure about swapping places?" Jungkook gets straight to the point, his brow furrowing. Changbin couldn't blame him, being evaluated on your dance ability and your ability to choreograph a piece from scratch was completely different.

"It's not like I have much choice, Tzuyu won't be back anytime soon with a torn ACL." Changbin hears your shocked gasp, and turns his head to observe your hand over your mouth and eyes wide at the shocking news. With classes being suspended for the rest of the semester and such a large group few people had known of her injury.

"What's going to happen now?" You ask eyes wide with concern as you look between the older man and your classmate.

"Jeong had suggested Changbin take my place in your performance and I participate in my own years evaluation." Jungkook said with an apologetic expression down at you, your tired features barely even managed a proper frown.

"What?"

"It's still a month and Changbin is one of the best dancers in the group, you'll be fine." Jungkook wore a guilty expression as he scratched the back of his head as he watched your shoulders hunch over, folding in on yourself as you start to slowly loose hope.

"Hey! Don't do that, you know I'll even come help out if you need me!" he grabs you by your shoulders and force you to look at him, he doesn't break the stare down until you nod. You were furious, not only was this inconvenient but it would effect the outcome of the rest of your studies at this school. But you couldn't even muster any of the energy you needed to be upset about it after a gruelling session.

"Whatever," You shake Jungkooks hands off your shoulders and take your stuff from Changbin who'd been watching the exchange with a nervous nibble at his plump bottom lip.

"We're doing Firebird, I'm sure Jungkook will inform you of how atrocious I am." You turn on your heal and walk away because honestly, fuck that shit.

"Hey I think we got off on the wrong foot I'm Cha-" Changbin stood leaning behind the studio door waiting for you to show up. You had contemplated not showing, because who cares at this point? Not Jungkook, not Changbin and certainly  not that piece of work director Jeong.

"I know who you are, don't worry." You interrupt him as you fiddle with a hair pin that was practically indented into your skull with the way you had furiously stabbed it into the bun. Changbin to his credit musters the decency to look guilty.

"This isn't ideal for either of us but I have faith in us." Changbin says softly and you nearly bark a laugh in his face, you instead settle for a scoff. Yeah, sure he'd be fine he was a top student, technically near perfect almost better than Yeonjun only lacking the physical stature that would be needed to accommodate taller partners, where you're bottom tier at least in ballet, a charity case and no doubt a relief to be rid off, Jungkook was probably ecstatic knowing you weren't his responsibility anymore.

"Yeah, we'll see how you feel after the next three hours buddy." You pat him on his shoulder before brushing past him into the studio at 12 sharp. Changbin with a frustrated glower follow you, you weren't going to make this easy.

He steps in to the sound of Yeonjun's ex yelling at his friend and he can't help but feel a little better about this mess, he doubted you'd snap at him like that.

Your judgement was obvious, your face like an open book as you observed the pair going at each other. But it wasn't just disapproval, it was a corner of a lip tilted in a smile laced with pity. Changbin just wasn't sure if it was for Yeonjun or his partner.

He guessed it was the latter rather, by his past experience of being pinned with a scrutinious stare every time he was with his friend.  You weren't part of the plan in anyway, in fact he really was praying to what ever immortal beings existed in the realms of the heavens the two of you would perform a passable performance at least, but there was always another way to throw Yeonjun of his game.

Love.

His ex was playing a big role in her reluctance to cooperate and he didn't even have to do much about it, in fact Changbin didn't have to do anything about it but that wouldn't be enough. It wasn't Yeonjuns first challenging partner, he'd manage, highly stressed but he'd still  do his best.

"Changbin?" Your voice breaks his stare from the pair as they train through their rendition of Apollo and one of the muses dance and he notes that you're already in the black tutu over your not so traditional leotard. It wouldn't be a problem if the zip that ran down it's front was done up like most other students wore it. He swallowed hard, he didn't blame you, he'd heard that leotards were constricting, he just didn't realize it would do a better job than a push up bra.

"If you're done could we possibly get them out of here?" He doesn't miss the small smile that graces your features before turning around to face the mirrors and finish your stretching. Changbin clears his throat as he quickly changes out of his sneakers.

"Yeonjun, times up!" His voice booms over the music and shocks you enough to come up from the back bend you'd been stretching in, unwinding a supple arch until you're stood straight again, only to be met with a different sharp gaze from under black strands. Yeonjuns dark eyes are trailing over your torso as he makes his way over towards his bag, you keep your face straight as your fingers find the zip on your front, you taunt him a small drag down, his tongue sliding over his full bottom lip, before zipping it all the way up.  You keep yourself from laughing at the way the softest pink dusts his cheeks and his eyes divert as you pass him, you'd think they'd never seen a pair of boobs before the way these boys were acting.

"You ready?" Changbin calls over, his brow raised. He hadn't missed the brief exchange and you meet his gaze.

"I am, but do you know the choreography?" Your brows raise and Changbin gives you a smug little smirk as  answer and starts the music.

"ohmygod you're worse than Jungkook!" You babble. You swear you can hear your hips breaking as Changbin pushes down through his arms keeping your knees on the worn hardwood floor. Solid, warm muscle is pressing into your back as he leans over you.

"Stop complaining it's only a few more seconds." He huffs out, but when you tilt your head up you're met with a grin through your watery eyes. The timer goes off and you suck in a deep breath as Changbin lets you relax out of the pose. The session had been hard, he'd managed to point out technicalities that Jungkook had managed to miss or rather chose to ignore when he suggested cooldown your legs nearly gave out, it was outrageous the best modern dance program at a fucking ballet school. You weren't built for this. You lie back with a huff and watch as Changbin sets another timer.

"More?" This was crazy and he shakes his head with playful grin.

"It's only helping you." He points out and takes your now sweatpants clad legs and straighten them out for you before taking one ankle and pushing it up and towards your chest. This isn't nearly as difficult but it was uncomfortable. His arm that wasn't holding your leg was pushing your hips down to assure it from lifting and although he was sat kneeling between your legs he was still half hanging over your face. Sharp cologne, mixed with sweat was filling your airways and a thin silver chain dangled from around his neck as his he watched you. You clear your throat and head of all of your inappropriate thoughts.

"How'd you know the choreography?" You ask softly but jot your chin out just a little to assert yourself more.

Changbin smiles down at you.  The last three hours had been the most time he'd spent with you, in the last two years and he couldn't help himself, he enjoyed your company. Your confidence, your focus and drive. Your being aware of yourself, wo you are and your bold assertion of it had made him more comfortable than intimidated.

"Jungkook and I ran through it last night after you threw a temper tantrum and ran off." He watches your eyes roll dramatically ready to snap back at him with something sarcastic or mean but he doesn't give you the chance too.

"I'm also pretty familiar with it, I've done parts of it before." Your mouth closes and brows knit in a frown at the interruption and he chuckles at the expression. His fingers trail along your calve softly as he sits back and releases his grip on your ankle to do the same with the other one. But when he leans back over you his face is serious, brows drawn pensively together and lips in an angry line.  You leave it, to tired to pry.

"Y/n... I- what would you do if I made a proposition?" His sharp stare flicks from where it was staring at the floor and to your face and you squirm slightly.

"Depends, what's in it for me?" Your voice is low as each of you regard the other with hesitancy.

"An A+." Changbin answered and you laughed.

"You're funny."

"Y/N. I'm serious." You settle down and he pins you with a determined stir.

"I want to beat Yeoujun. I want his scholarship, and I want principle."  Your eyes widen at that. You didn't have much against Yeonjun besides the fact that he was annoying and reeked of talent but did nothing with it.

"That's a little harsh isn't it? I get principle but the scholarship? Aren't you guys friends?" You inquire curiously and Changbin lowers his head to avoid your gaze. When he looks back up his tongue is stuck in his cheek as he grins.

"You'd think? Either way he sure as hell doesn't fucking act like it." He says it with a little bitter chuckle. The two of you sit in that loaded silence, filled with secrets, and revenge and jealousy for a moment just staring at the other.

"What do you say?" He's leaning closer and his words just above a whisper as he continues to regard you a moment longer, eyes flickering over your face trying to read your expression the tension was palpable if you stuck out the tip of your tongue you'd taste it and Changbins lips.

The glass doors click open.

"Am I interrupting something?" A familiar voice calls and dripping with smugness. Changbin watches as you roll you eyes and sits back with a little smile as he lets go of your leg and ankle. Yup, definitely the right candidate.

You sit up from the floor and look over at the door where Yeonjun is leaning a little grin on his face as he takes in the sight of the two of you, Changbin idly resting in between your thighs.

"It's called stretching, I'm sure you've heard of it before. You know, being a ballet dancer and all?" Changbin retorts and helps you to stand. His hand rests softly in the small of your back and gives it a soft pat  to nudge you towards your bags. You zip the leotard down again, so you can breathe and fiddle your phone out of your bag to check the time and slip your feet into your sneakers. You still had 20 minutes of your session left, how rude.

"She joining us?"

"I can hear you." You voice is sharp as you basically rip your bag off the ground and walk towards them. You pause beside Changbin shifting your weight to one side as you cross your arms over your chest and let your eyes wander over Yeonjun's figure,  tall and strong and delicate features, gender envy if you've ever seen it. God he was perfect, so hopelessly beautiful and and torturously seductive, strong figure dressed in a white shirt taught across his chest and sweats hanging dangerously low on his hips.

"I'll do it." You turn your head and face Changbin who tries his best to hide his panic.

"What? Join us for dinner?" Yeonjun scoffed.

"Oh, how lovely I've been upgraded from object to person worth addressing directly. No, I would rather not join. " You retort and turn to face Changbin and soften your features in a smile as you let your hand rest on the tan skin of his bicep. The same one that had effortlessly lifted you into the hair for two hours as if you were air.

"I'll text you."

Yeonjun watches you with an aghast smile as you push past and waltz out of the doors.

"Quite the partner you got there." Changbin had been watching your figure through the glass doors and smiled to himself.

"Sure is."

The door clicked shut behind them and Changbin tossed the hood of his black hoodie over his still slightly damp hair as they made their way out of the building.

"How's your training going?" Changbin inquired out of courtesy. Yeonjun had been breezing through the almost abandoned school hallways beside him almost without a worry.

"I think she'll claw my eyes out, maybe it'll be a good thing, then I can't see all the mistakes she's making." Yeonjun huffed his arms that he'd stretched up and above over his head flopping to his sides on frustration and Changbin laughed a little at that.

"How about you?"

"It's only been a day, but she's really not as bad as you make her seem. I've never met someone who works so hard in something she won't need." Changbin shoved his hands into his pockets as they make their way across the parking lot.

It was true. Despite your complaints about stretching, you'd let him run you through every part of the routine without any reluctance. Everytime he stopped and restarted, picking at a millisecond misstep, a finger a touch out of place, or an arm not soft enough, you'd let him do so without even so much as slight glimpse of reluctance. You'd take the critisism and focus on improving every single time, Jungkook had also managed to pick a character that suited your theatricality Yeonjun had previously criticised you for. You had even managed a lack of reaction at his fumbling in the different lifts, patiently letting him get used to it.

"That doesn't always make you good." Yeonjin pointed out as Changbin unlocked his car. Changbin had to keep himself from trying to rip his driver side door off at the sudden comment. Instead he takes a moment to pause as he leans against the car roof.

"What? Was that a little harsh?" Yeonjun said in a rather insincere tone from across the car roof.

"Get in the car." Changbin grumbles in answer.

"Forget about the evaluation for a second." Changbin mumbles through a mouthful of burger. It wasn't the best dietary choice but it had been a while he'd worked so hard for such a long duration of time, not because he had to make up for what you lacked but because your determination to do well fuelled him to do the same. Yeonjin was eating away at a plate of fries and looked up at his friend curiously.

"What do you think of YN?" Yeonjun pauses slightly.

There was no denying it, there wasn't many dancer's like you at Laurier, there was actually no other dancers like you. You were an enigma. Few would suffer through years of dance programs that weren't related to their focus, or even suffer through entrance exams in forms that weren't trained just to follow their dreams. Besides that, you held a seductive air, it was part of your muscular, curvier build that many of the female ballet dancer's lacked. You were stronger, your leaps and jumps far higher than most of the female student body and closely matching some of the boys in the classes best even. Your eyes were definitely what had caught Yeonjun's attention but not because they were a particular colour. Rather it was the firey emotion that constantly burned in them. You were passionate. Whenever his eyes met your sharp gaze he saw flames burn, gold and warm.  And he'd be lying if he didn't say he envied it, just a little.

"She's pretty."

Changbins brow raises as if implying, that's all?He knew Yeonjun to well and there was clearly more to the loaded statement.

"Fine, she's more than pretty, but does that really matter? Let's be honest neither of us have been big on locker room talk 'bin." Yeonjun says pointedly and Changbin nods pensively gazing up at the ugly florescent lighting in the dingy diner. He guessed that's maybe why Yeonjun had swiped Felix out of his grasp in an instant. Because Yeonjun never cared much to discuss whom his friends might be interested in. Either way, Changbin doesn't see Felix around anymore unless he passes by a room scheduled for the younger groups ballet sessions.

"I guess you're right. I'm just asking, because I like her shitty attitude and I know most of the girls are stuck up but her words have a bite to it that I think makes her different." Changbin says out loud and steals a fry from his friend who looks him on affronted. But the words are heavy on his ears. Yes the bite, fire. Yeonjun thought, fire that burns red and angry.

"You have the weirdest taste."

"Yah, we have the same taste so don't go around insulting me just yet." Changbin said and tossed a piece of lettuce at Yeonjun but it fell short next to his plate instead.

"Yeah well, you're on your own this time." Yeonjun scoffed and wore half smirk as he picked up the glass of ice water.

"Are you sure?" Changbin said softly his sharp chin resting on his hands as he stared at his friend, eyes narrowed. Yeonjun didn't like it. Like he knew that it was a desperate dismissal of obvious attraction. His critique of your horrible technique and inexperience was something he's used to brush off his crush in his first year at the school because how could you ever be what he wanted ? You sucked and had no friends, in all honesty you were extremely bad then and he couldn't help but wonder how the fuck you made it all the way to third year evaluation.

"I think you're lying." Changbin said with a tiny smirk one that most definitely had the devil hiding behind it.

"I don't think you just happened to remember her name Yeonjun." Changbin said and chuckled as he pulled his wallet out and dug out some cash that he put on the table to cover their dinner.

"You're delusional." Yeonjun hissed and shot him a glare as he collected his bag and hoodie. Changbin was halfway to the door when he turned to face his friend again.

"And you're a terrible liar."

The atelier was empty except for the three of you. The blonde was tall and lanky, built like a dancer himself but here you were, at a fashion school. When Changbin said  he knew someone who could help with costumes you hadn't expected this.  You hadn't expected him to drag you halfway across the city in a really nice car on a Saturday morning, picking you up with a bag  filled with a white tutu in your size and some craft items to take you out to a completely different art school.

"Changbin, I hate you."

"Come on! Hyunjin you have a costume design practical next semester and all you have to do is decorate a to and spray paint a white tutu red." Changbin tried to reason but the tall, handsome man remained unimpressed.

"I hate you." Hyunjin seems to stand his ground as he stares down his shorter friend, you bite down on your lip at the exchange and your eyes widen slightly as his glare lands on you.

"But I'll do it. Only since I'm poor and you're paying rich boy." Hyunjin held up a finger before dramatically sweeping long blonde hair out of his face. You feel a sigh of relief pass through your lips for some reason.

"Also your partner is stunning." Hyunjin said with a vapid flap of his one hand in the direction where you sat. You raise your brows and smile as Changbin shoots you a quick pained glare, "You'll have to give me her number so I can use her as a model in the future for a few projects."

You sit up a little straighter at the sound of that, Chin tilting up proudly.  It wasn't that you were insecure, that wasn't the case at all. It was just that you were constantly in an environment were the bone thin and light ballet dancer was the beauty ideal and you didn't match it. It was nice, getting out and being reminded that you're most definetly an enviable beauty for some.

"We'll do fittings at your school next week." Hyunjin huffed as he pulled out the things Changbin had brought along.

"Really?" Hyunjin holds up a black t shirt and Changbin shrugs.

"You're supposed to be a prince, I can't just make you un upgraded t-shirt!"

"I would like to state for the record, that I said that too." You raise your hand and Hyunjin slaps Changbin over the back of the head and you snicker that you hide behind a cough.

"Why won't you listen to her? You're a real piece of work."  Hyunjin shakes his head and lets out a frustrated huff before pulling the measuring tape around his neck and using a finger to tell Changbin to turn.

"It won't do, I'll make you a proper coat." Hyunjin started taking Changbins measurements, wen he said a number out loud you jumped realizing he was expecting you to write it down for him. You scramble and make your way over to the book on the table beside them writing down the numbers for him.

"Thank you for being such a wonderful assistant." Hyunjin says and his warm smile has your own lips tugging upwards.

"Anytime." you assure him and he surprises you as he takes your hand and plants a soft kiss on your knuckles before turning to face his friend.

"You. If you ever try to bring me a t-shirt and think you're overthrowing a prince with it again, I will choke you." Hyunjin scolds and you raise a brow at the title curiously.

"Prince?"

"Yes, its a nickname we gave Yeonjun since he has everything." Hyunjin explained.

"Everything?" You push and Hyunjin looks over at Changbin who gives a nod of encouragement.

"Yeonjuns always been a talented dancer and well, his family is pretty well off being some of the largest investors in the art community but he also has that wonderful scholarship that his dads company has at the school."

"It's his fathers company?" That was news to you, probably because you didn't have any friends to gossip with at the school.

"And everyone's okay with it?" You ask, your face unable to hide your obvious disgust.

"Well whats anyone going to do about it? Talk to Jeong? He's her prodigy." Hyunjin reasoned.

"But the students...", You try to reason and Changbins shake of his head shuts you up.

"Don't care, everyone wants to be his friend, fuck him or already has."

"On that solemn note, please leave so I can offer up my free time to this nightmare of a project." Hyunjin shoo's the two of you out.

Once you're buckled in the seat of the passenger side of Changbins car you wait patiently as he fiddles with the buttons on the stereo.

"What's your plans for today?" Changbin asks and you shrug.

"I don't have any, unless you want to train. In which case I'm fully booked." You can't help your smile as he cackles brightly.

"Wanna do something? I mean we haven't really had time to discuss any of our uh, approaches?" Changbin struggles to fine a subtle way to say revenge plot and this time its your turn to laugh.

"What did you have in mind?" Changbin grins and starts his car as an answer.

"Changbin I can't afford anything on this menu." You hiss with wide eyes and he waves you off, as if you weren't struggling to do the maths that would keep you from compromising your already strictly ramen noodle diet.

"It's my treat then." You can't help the grimace, what was it with these super rich art school kids. You sit back in the to nice chair and stare at his eyes wandering the menu.

"Why me?" His brows dip in question. "Why did you ask me to help you with the Yeonjun issue?"

An acknowledging nod signals his understanding but he's still quiet for a moment to long.

"Your a bit of an odd case. You seem to severely dislike him and well you are something he can't have."

"Please continue." He puts his menu down on the white table cloth gently before resting his chin on his intertwined fingers.

"The Choi's, as lovely and charitable as they are, expect  perfection perhaps not from everyone but definitely from their son." You sit upright in your seat, curiosity piqued.

"You aren't exactly what is considered to be daughter-in-law material and that's not because you aren't pretty enough because lets be honest you're gorgeous. It's simply because you aren't part of the family's close friends, specifically one of the shining stars." You can't help the blush tinting your cheeks at the compliment mid explanation and Changbin notices despite the extremely soft lighting casting a glow on everything, enough to give you a small smile and a coy head tilt.

"Yeonjun doesn't have a lot of options but his romantic escapades," Changbin breathes out a humourless chuckle, "Let's just say, that's how he rebels."

"That still doesn't explain my unattainability?" You raise a brow and sit back in your seat again.

Changbin reaches over the table, careful of the vase filled with bright orange flowers and takes one of your hands softly in his own, the action was odd but not enough to alarm you.

Yet.

"Yeonjun always wants to be the best and for a while, actually, too long he has been." Changbins eyes are trained on your hand, having turned it over so he could trace the folds and lines of your palm with his fingers.

"Y/N, it takes one simple challenge. A suggestion that he might not be the best and his pride would rule him. He'd be so focused on proving everyone that his station is deserved, that he is in fact the best,  that he'd be to blind to see his own downfall coming."

"He assumes that everyone has placed him on the same pedestal that he had placed himself on his entire life, so that the idea of someone not doing so doesn't exist to him."

Changbin looks up from your hand dark glare trained on your face.

"You don't like him, and he can't believe it."

"You like me more, would rather be partnered with anyone but him?"

You nod slowly to confirm that Changbins observation is correct.

"He can't have that. He'll become obsessed with proving that you're wrong in doing so." Changbins gaze is back on your palm, his soft tracing sending a ghost of shivers down your spine.

"So not only aren't you what his parents expect but you also seem to have a solid dislike for him. It wasn't the plan, honestly." Changbin looks up at you hand squeezing yours now as if it would convey his promise as truthful.

"But it sure is convenient." You say lowly and he nods, suddenly not so sure about how good of an idea it was asking for help. He wasn't sure if the blank mask you wore could because of inner turmoil, for all he knew his explanation could have completely changed your mind in helping him out. He lets go of your hand, sliding his own back slowly his eyes fixed on your face waiting for your next reaction.  What it would be, what he was waiting for he didn't know but it certainly wasn't what he had expected.

The soft chuckle wasn't unwelcome but it was definitely confusing.

"Wow, how does that saying go? Keep your friends close and your enemies closer? Yeonjun took that pretty seriously, huh?" Changbin doesn't fail to see the irony.

"Don't get me wrong,  we were friends and in some twisted way I'm sure we still are."

"But?"

"But I'm tired of losing to him." Changbin slinks back into his seat hands off the table and falling helplessly to his lap.

You encourage him to continue by pouring water from the jug on the table into his glass as if its a stiff drink, like the one he seems to need.

"There was this one guy. Fuck, was it bad. He's sweet and his cheeks would squish up and make it impossible to count the freckles that was all over his cheeks and nose. I wasn't even crushing, I practically skipped that whole step and boy did I make it obvious." He was sitting back up and he wore a half assed grin one that held more than its fair share of sadness.

"No one missed it, so either Yeonjun was impossibly blind or clearly was trying to make a point." Changbin resorted to finally reaching for his glass of water but simply opted for staring at the droplets running down the side of the glass.

"So he swooped in, charmed the living daylights out of him before I could blink, promptly broke his heart and now Felix doesn't speak to any of us anymore."

"Felix? As in Felix Lee?"  The description Changbin had given wasn't terribly subtle, but it was still somewhat of a surprise.

"Yeah and unfortunately my friend didn't just betray me he broke my heart without even thinking about it twice or having the decency of  asking if my puppy dog eyes meant something."

The revenge plot was starting to make sense and as much as you didn't like Yeonjun, Changbin might've let it slip that his opinion of your ballet abilities wasn't the highest. Of course sticks and stones, but you couldn't help growing fond of Changbin a bit of a Dark cloud that hid a bundle of charm and softness that had seeped past your cold exterior. Dammit you'd even consider him a friend, your first at Laurier.

He was still clearly worried that whatever it was he was planning you'd say no too, weary glances from his hands on his glass to you. You offer him a small grin to soothe his worries.

"Oh don't worry, you still have me in your corner Binnie."  You say gently before sitting forward. "Now, what's the plan exactly?"

Yeonjun watched as your hair followed with your twirls, the red and gold feathers bouncing along with the tutu as you playfully one two stepped into a pirouette with a big smile, your eyes alight with joy as you giggled. The pretty glimmering costume sparkled brightly and he couldn't help but think that your smile seemed blinding in comparison. He'd never seen it before, such happiness coming from you while doing ballet. Granted, you were doing a terrible job at practicing proper technique or steps but the freely stepping to releve and the flowing of your arms  with the glittering feather arm bands made you truly seem like a firebird, free and joyous and beautiful.

Changbin was right the character suited you and perhaps he had maybe judged your talents as a dancer too harshly.

Your playful twirls excited grins and entertained light hearted chuckles from your audience, Hyunjin even going so far as to give you applause for your impromptu show.

"Okay, okay. Come here pretty girl so we can check that the feathers don't come off or it gets in the way." Changbin stood up his coat  black coat with the golden embellishments and lapels open over his white t shirt and he held out his hand for you to except. With a playful tug he pulled you into his chest where you giggled softly. Changbin held you in a couple of releve twirls before the two of you got serious as the two of you turned serious and he manoeuvred around the costume you to lift you as previously practiced.

Jealousy, it bubbled up inside of Yeonjun like a black sticky tar at the sight of you and one of his closest friends so comfortable with each other, in synchronization as if you two had known each other for years and not only two or three weeks.

This crush, or at least the acknowledgement was becoming dangerous. He was starting to fall back into his regular patterns, the ones he knew all to well. Looking for a specific head of hair in a crowd, a black zipped down leotard, eyes that burned with hellfire, without even thinking about it, second nature almost. He was on a downhill drop to being absolutely infatuated and this new version of you, free and happy it was only stoking the hearth in his heart. It wasn't helping his cause.

For once he felt like he'd lost to Changbin.

Be it because he knew you so well, or because he had the burden of being your partner or perhaps because he was the one to witness your joy or perhaps instigate it.

He'd never really been sure what incited your icy exterior and furious glares in his direction. He'd avoided you for most years  but now he was wondering if rather it was the other way around and why it was bothering him that you would.

He'd never considered himself to be narcissistic and yet, what would force you of all people to stay so far away from him? Few who weren't exes and even then few of those actively tried to avoid Yeonjun in the way he was quickly piecing together that you had. Finally it would seem you were in arms reach, not so far away. Changbin was his link to you now, he might just have a shot at pulling you closer, pulling you towards him, the same way you had started pulling him towards you.

The night had started off wild,with too many  beers and too many soju bottles littering the countertop of Wooyoungs apartment when the three of them left. That it was crazy getting more when they met up with a few other s but he didn't realize it would result in this.

"Yeonjun whats your deal man?" Wooyoung said bright smile and cheerful giggle following after as he slung an arm over his much taller friends shoulders and pulled him into a hug, never scared of affection but it was too much. It was a lot with the buzz and the loud music and the smoke filled air.

"I don't have a deal." Yeonjun grumbled but didn't even try to shove his friend off of him.

"He's just mad that my dance partner doesn't like him." Changbin said with a teasing lilt but that obnoxious little smirk was rubbing him wrong. This time he did shove Wooyoungs arm off of him as he stepped closer and peered down at Changbin, bare of the grin he'd previously worn. He wasn't tilting his head back to meet Yeonjuns stare no instead e simply looked up through his lashes his dark glare daring Yeonjun to  do what he so desperately wanted too, knowingly.

"Admit it, you're jealous." Changbin said softly the same smirk growing as he knew his words hit true to their mark. He could tell by the way Yeonjun stiffened.

"You can't have her, she doesn't want you." His words were barely a whisper but the way Yeonjuns anger was zeroing in on his friend, blocked out all other sounds, "And nothing you do will change her mind."

"Because she doesn't care and guess what? You aren't as fucking great as you think you are." Yeonjun shoved Changbin back and was ready to swing when someone pulled him back to no avail as he stepped closer to Changbin who promptly stopped him from landing any hits as he took a hold of his wrists before both of them were promptly ripped apart.

"Go cool off!" Wooyoung practically pushed Yeonjun into one of their other friends who was standing behind him as he pulled him away from Changbin who was steadied with a firm hand on Wooyoungs chest .

"Go!" Wooyoung voiced again, louder and Yeonjun ripped himself away as he shoved his way through the thick crowd.

This place had been playing tricks on his mind since he got here, what had brought Changbin to suggesting this place from their usual spots?

The energy was strange here, it was something other from just dancing in the air. No here, the thickness of lust and sex seemed to hang in the air. It was starting to make him act up in ways he never would've dreamed of.

Yeonjun swept the cold water over his face. This was outrageous he'd never even thought of picking a fight with Changbin at least not physically.  He breathed out sigh before sweeping the damp black tresses and back out of his face he straightened only to be met by the sight of you. He must be really drunk to be hallucinating now. He blinked hard and realized that it wasn't a hallucination. A bright yellow fish darted across his vision and his brain caught up with his vision. The men's room was separated from the women's by a bright fish tank, one that stretched its length glowing bright and filled with an array of both large and small colourful fish.

You haven't noticed him, eyes trained on the small compact in your hand as you reapplied the lipstick shade you had selected to wear for the evening.

It wasn't love at first sight. No, he'd seen you before, on numerous different occasions but now...

The sight of you sobered him up more than the cool water ever could, hair that was usually pulled back now framing your face, figure graced in a short white dress , with a generous neckline much like that leotard you favoured, the golden lighting above the individual sinks lighting up your skin made you glow.

It definitely wasn't love but something had changed, maybe it was him finally admitting his pining for you.

Your eyes caught his as soon as you snapped the compact shut, not a hint of surprise dawning on your features.

Instead you hold his stare as you put everything back into your small clutch a ghost of a smile on your face as you step back from the glass and walk away, only breaking the silent battle when the door hides your figure.

Yeonjun darts out of the bathroom and immediately seeks the figment of his imagination his head must of conjured because it was impossible, that you'd appear here, in the midst of all his way to high strung out emotions. He caught a glance of your figure sashaying through the crowds that seemed to move aside at the meer sense of your presence, everyone making space for you as you pass, to afraid to even graze themselves against you. Yeonjun squeezes through the gyrating figures,  tall long body squeezed out and pushed out of the way, his idea to follow in your wake becoming exceptionally difficult with each surge of the bass and bright flare of  light. White strobes creating stop motion images of the people dancing around him.

As he finally escapes the dancefloor he spots your figure leaning up against the bar, Changbin leaning over it as he whispers something in your ear that tempts a beautiful grin to your lips. Yeonjun immediately pushes away the ugly head of anger that threatened to instigate another fight and plastered on a smirk before sliding in beside the pair of you.

It was strange seeing him through the fish tank damp black strands hanging over his heavy lidded eyes and pouty lips parted aghast. You'd never seen him in anything other than sweats or dance clothes, you would be lying if you didn't say the white muscle tank didn't look good on him, long lean arms, toned enough that as he leaned against the sink you could see the way the muscles in his shoulders moved and now you could see he had paired it with some black jeans that came up high enough to accentuate  his enviably tiny waist.

"Changbin, sorry for interrupting but I'd like to invite Y/N to the dancefloor?" His eyes stayed glued to your face and you dared a glance towards Changbins whos dark analytical gaze encouraged you to play the game.

"And why would I dance with you?" You tease, acting coy as you fiddle a strand of hair around your index finger he bites as he leans closer with his hands tucked into his pockets.

"Well I don't believe we've ever had the pleasure of being partners and well it might be best in a space you'd be comfortable." He leans back with a grin one that so obviously says he's proud of his little insult.

"Is that so?" You barely keep the snappiness out of your tone as you glare him down. Yeonjun tries to suppress the chills the look is giving him. You hand your purse over to Changbin and walk past him a shove at his shoulder, your heels making you tall enough to dare the push without it seeming pathetic. Yeonjun chuckles incredulous before turning on his heels to catch up with your long strides, by the time he's close enough to reach you he realizes you've managed to find people that seem to be your own friends judging by their friendly smiles and the way they made space for you the song the DJ was currently playing resembled dance hall and all though he was aware that his mind severely undersold your dancing abilities he wasn't expecting the sight in front of him. With not a single care for the shortness of the dress or the vulgarity of the moves your hips seemed to lead your body in a seductive rhythm that had Yeonjun staring even if he was sure it was inappropriately. Every time you caught his eyes, your grin told him he'd lost. He didn't even stand a chance to start with. He would've had better luck in the dance studio.

It felt good, a different kind of thrill. Shutting him up even if it was for just a little while, especially after you heard what his opinion was of your dancing ability.

He trailed you back to the bar and with a defeated smile watched you order a drink.

"I have severely underestimated you, I apologize." Yeonjun says with that same small grin and a shake of his head and you beam.

"Apology accepted." You chuckle and brush your hair out of your face as you watch him.

"I really messed up." Yeonjun bites down on his bottom lip and you force your eyes away from his plump pouty lips to his eyes.

"Yes you did." You agree and he chuckles brightly and loudly.

"I meant," He steps closer, leaning down lips brushing up against your ear as he lowers his voice,"If I had just been honest with myself, you might have been doing those moves on me." He pulls back and your head is a whirlwind of thoughts. Honest with himself?  What was that supposed to mean? Either way it didn't matter, your stomach and well other parts of your body were fluttering dangerously at the implications of his words. Your drink arrives and so does Changbin who saddles up to your side comfortably, his arm wrapping around your waist and you let him so you can lean into his strong body and take some pressure of your feet in their heels. Yeonjuns gaze darkens.

"I'm happy we came, this place is way cooler than the uptight clubs we always go to." Changbin announces and Yeonjuns brow dips, he didn't think this place was all that great but judging by the sweat that was dotting his friends forehead, the music and his chosen partners were the reasons behind his high praise.

Your butterflies still hadn't calmed and the alcohol made you dare the chance.

"You finally ready to be my dance partner properly?" You shoot a grin in Yeonjuns direction, one he missed because he was busy staring at Changbins arm around your waist.

"Yeonjun?" You call and it finally seems to click you were talking to him.

"Of course." He dares a grin and bows slightly as he offers his hand formally, you scoff and with a roll of your eyes take the hand offered. He laces his fingers through yours and pulls you away from Changbin's grip only letting go to hold your hands up so you could spin.

One thing you realized,  Yeonjun was a sore loser. He'd stepped into your space as the songs continued to switch through the mix list, this only resulted in him proving his own ability to follow a beat in time with your movements. Pressed closer together the air only got stickier, and you could feel the cold drops of sweat running down your spine as time was lost to you and apparently all form of  rational thought too. It was only when a tender but heavy kiss found the back of your neck that you realized, you were dancing with the enemy in a way that could possibly have you arrested for public indecency. You took a step away and turned steeling your gaze so you didn't look like the deer in headlights you had suddenly become.

Because as much as shutting Yeonjun up was fun this was making you want to find out if there was other ways to have fun with him, you couldn't promise yourself you wouldn't end up in a more compromising position with him and that was definitely not the plan. You eye him for a moment his surprised expression, hair hangning in his eyes or matted against his forehead, in a similar manner to how the white tank was sticking to his chest hand reaching out to grab your hand again. You press past a couple and dissapear back to the bathroom.

So this was how people got swept up in the hurricane Yeonjun was. Distracted by the pretty lashes, sharp eyes that devoured you whole and those terribly soft lips. Ghosts of his fingers ran over your body, everywhere he had dared to touch so surely, the spot on the back of your neck burning at the memory of  the kisses weight. You dared a look into the floor length mirror parallel to the door you'd rushed through. He'd left you a mess, sticky with sweat and smudged mascara around your eyes, breathless and hair messy. You couldn't help but wonder what power it is he possessed to so easily dishevel your appearance.  You purposefully rub at the dark circles under your eyes and dare to pat some cold water to your neck to collect yourself before entering the fray again. It wasn't hard to find him, your body now drawing towards him like a magnet as if he was the sun, tugging you into his atmosphere, but the body plastered to him quickly stops you. Life had a lovely way of reminding you why you'd avoided the beauty, his gravitational pull always seemed to have room for more. With a scoff and a reality check you press your way towards the man that still had your bag. Changbin was stuck in a booth with some other friends your purse on the table in front, whomever he'd been dancing with earlier nowhere to be seen.

"I'm leaving." Changbin shoots up as you grab your purse.

"I'll come with you." He insists and just as you're ready to politely decline a voice interrupts.

"Y/N?" Yeonjun is beside you a hand on your shoulder, brows furrowed as if concerned but a quick peak over his shoulder makes you aware the guy he'd found wasn't hanging to far off . You shrug of his hand and fix your eyes on Changbin.

"That'd be great." Changbin follows after you, hand on the small of your back as the pair of you trail towards the exit leaving Yeonjun to watch after with an empty pang in his chest. He tried to will his feet to move after you but it didn't instead, he stood glued eyes following over the crowd as Changbin accompanied you out the door with his arm around your shoulder and you tucked into his side.

Yeonjun had been left to observe you from far away for the final week before the showcase, in passing when you came in to the studio with Changbin after his own practice slot. You didn't acknowledge his presence, instead focusing on the music or your practice tutu or your pointes instead of him.

But he chalked it down to you simply trying to focus on what was to come.

When he finally did get to see you it was minutes before your peformance, dressed in gold and red. Hair slicked back and a headband of red and gold feathers over it, even with the light from the stage you glowed, shimmered with beauty and charm as you warmed up, smiling at the stage hands that passed you. He came up beside you and for the first time in a week your eyes fell on him.

"YN, I just wanted to say goodluck and well I was wondering if when we could go dancing together again?" Yeonjun was leaning up against the bar you were busy stretching on.

You laugh soft enough to not bother the other performance but still full and hearty, Yeonjun raises a brow he hadn't said anything funny.

"Sorry its just, well you must be blind." Yeonjun takes a step back as he watches her lips quirk upwards. It was just the two of them and the stage hands, Changbin was in the other wing waiting for the curtains for the rendition of the dance of the snowflakes to end. No one to witness the mask that seemed to fall away from the beautifully painted face.

"You know at first I was jealous of you. Perfect, you. With the perfect scholarship, not that you need it because of your daddy. Then I was angry because how could you waste time like that and still be so good. Well now...", Firey eyes ringed with read eyeshadow and golden flakes, disdainfully drags over his figure from head to toe.

"Now I'm just disappointed."

"Yeonjun I hate you, but not because you ever even had the chance to break my heart because lets be honest I'm not half as dumb as you think." You stop stretching as you step closer towards him where he was now frozen in place.

"No, I hate you because you have everything,  all that you'd need to be the best but you're to distracted to ever reach your full potential."

"I don't need this, I'm a modern dancer, to contemporary for the genre anyway. I don't give a fuck about Jeong." Yeonjun sucks in a breath not at the crass words but rather the quotation of his own critique of your abilities, "... but you, you're her little prodigy and you have to do well, you have a scholarship and a family name that you need to maintain. My inability to be perfect means nothing. " You brush an invisible dust particle off his exposed shoulder before continuing.

"Your imperfections though, every single little mistake, every little misstep everyone out there will be looking for exactly that, they're waiting for your downfall and me?" You look up at him blazing eyes staring at him from behind bright red eyeshadow, "well, I'm praying for it."

Even if Yeonjun wasn't speechless he wouldn't have been able to actually retaliate because a 30 second call was made for your stage. Your grin didn't falter in fact it grew to the big stage smile every dancer wore while performing as you turned away from his figure as the pair on stage passed by you at the entrance of the wing you were waiting in.  The lights on the stage lit up as Changbin entered the stage, the black velveten coat and golden decorations glimmered under the light bright and bold, but it casted a bright glow around your figure, lighting up the red and gold feathers of your tutu in a warm light only growing brighter as you started your dance onto the stage. Yeonjun eyes were glued to you, the performance that of which was visible from where he stood taking his breath away. It might've been the lack of oxygen or perhaps it was shock, the fogginess that clouded the edges of his vision as his eyes followed the soft movements of your arms, the bounce of the tutu as you leaped through the air, even the arch of your spine as Changbin hoisted you up and over his head, held you in his arms time and time again as the battle of freedom between the firebird an he prince commenced. He saw the pretty picture of sorrow and torment as the Firebird fought to break free and the prince with his own battle of caging the most beautiful thing he'd ever seen in and ultimately be the cause of its death.  The longing on the prince's face as she disappears and leaves him with only a single mark of her, a red feather.

It's only then he feels the insistent tug of his partner at his arm, trying to pull him closer towards the exit of the wing for his own performance. Yeonjun tried to force himself to focus but his eyes landed on the pair a moment before walking onto the stage. Your body was being squeezed in a joyous hug, Changbin cheering silently as he spun you around, your own smile was bright, big and effervescent. Blinding just like the stage lights that obscured the audience, even the front row he knew was reserved for lecturers and special guests. He could only hear the blood rushing in his ears that's probably why he missed the first few counts. He was  behind now, muscle memory kicking in but never being enough to chase the fog far enough to catch up but only to make him more aware of the battle he was fighting to get back on beat. His body wouldn't let him, it was like there was a really strange weight keeping his legs and arms from moving right, but his head seemed to be floating, miles away from here.  Off in the wings where you had been smiling, happy in someone else's arms. Smiling as your lips move, your eyes on fire as his world falls apart a little, by little as you utter those words, those prayers , those hopes of imperfections  coming true with every note and every misstep and every delayed catch of his partners hand, he can feel it. The stuffy auditorium, how it was starting to suffocate him, the bitter taste of disappointment, of failure on the tip of his tongue as the shallow breaths passed over his dry lips and he inhaled the small particles of dust that everyone could see in the bright lights that was shining on every mistake he made.

As those curtains closed and the lack luster applause was still fuzzy to his ears, blood still rushing through it. He realized you'd wished his worse fears upon him, that they'd come true .

That those velveteen curtains blocking out the stage lights, was like the sun disappearing, that you'd burned so bright for the brief moment he'd set his sights on you. So bright he didn't realize how dark it would be when his downfall came.

[god-amongmen]

Under Your Spell, I Become The Beast

@sleepingawake

Art had always been one of Hannibal’s major interests. During his first studies in France his interest had been focused on purely anatomical sketches, but soon he had discovered a certain talent for it and more often than not he found himself in a park, studying faces and sketching. His interest had spiked as he found himself in beautiful Florence, a city so rich of art and history, the works of Botticelli on display. It had inspired Hannibal to move to the study of the living human body, trying to capture the tender curves of skin.

Over the years he continued to sketch, a great pastime and hobby after a particularly boring day with patients. After dinner Hannibal would simply sit in his study, a piece of classical music softly playing in the background, a glass of fine wine or port by his side and a sketchbook in front of him. There was never a lack of muses in his mind, but he had found himself without much inspiration recently.

As a psychiatrist Hannibal knows the effects that this time of year has on humans. The short period of daylight, often grey with heavy clouds; the biting cold and bleakness of it all after the colourful spectacle that autumn always brings. He has never felt affected by it, keeps his house and office pleasantly warm with a fire in the fireplace and his thoughts focused on work. But this year it seems his muse has left him on the last sunny autumn day they had, a few weeks before.

Which has led Hannibal to contact an old acquaintance of his at the local university. His social network spans wide, his name and presence present in many of the high society of Baltimore. Anthony Dimmond is among his own closer-knit circles, a frequent guest at one of his dinner parties, an art lover much like Hannibal himself. When he told the man of his lack of inspiration the young brunette had offered him the possibility to attend one of the many life drawing classes he organises for the art students. Has given Hannibal a timetable with dates, the topic of the class and the name of the models he has invited.

Hannibal had thanked Anthony and promised that he would look into his schedule to see when he might have the time to attend one of the classes. It had taken another few days until Hannibal finally had time in the afternoon to make his way to the university once again. His schedule in the afternoon and evenings was usually full, many of his patients working themselves and only finding time in the later hours of the day to attend to their psychological health.

Traffic had been kind to him today and Hannibal finds himself right on time as he exits his car, immediately pulling up the collar of his coat to keep the cold from assaulting his neck. The evenings quickly becoming colder now and the air smells crisp and clean, the first snow would surely hit the city soon. Grabbing his leather office bag in which his sketchbook, pencils and scalpels are safely stored he locks his car and makes his way to the entrance of the building the class is held in.

When he enters the room the two handful of people present already raise their heads, curiosity obvious in their faces. “Good evening ladies and gentlemen”, he announces to the room, walking towards one of the last remaining empty chairs, putting down his bag and shrugging out of his coat, placing it carefully over the back of the chair. The model was nowhere to be seen, the spot in the middle of the room not yet occupied and it seems their teacher wasn’t here yet either. “I am merely a guest here today, please, do not let my presence disturb your work. Mister Dimmond has been so gracious as to allow me to try and find my muse in one of your classes”, Hannibal explains when he feels the eyes of a few of the students still on him.

His words seem to be enough to break their stupor and they politely avert their gaze, just as a man enters the room, dressed in a simple suit and Hannibal assumes it must be the teacher of the class, because he smiles at each of the students. Next to him stands a young man only clad in a simple robe, likely their model for the afternoon. Hannibal remembers the name ‘Will Graham’ written on the details of today’s lesson, the topic has slipped his mind since it was not of importance to Hannibal, he does remember the bolded “NUDE” that was noted next to it.

The young man, Will, makes his way towards the centre of the room, shrugging out of the robe and folding it, setting it down next to the boxes which have been draped with a sheet of dark red velvet. “Please, Will, just like we discussed”, the man who entered with him hums, and Will nods, moving his body to settle in a position which was surely of importance to the topic of the lesson, much less so for Hannibal.

He finds himself taking in the beauty of the man in front of him, his lean body and gentle flex of powerful muscles under pale skin. The light dusting of hair on his chest, the dusting of hair that forms a trail down to his cock and the neatly trimmed beard. Finally, Hannibal lifts his gaze to Will’s face, beautifully framed by a halo of dark brown curls and a set of gorgeous ocean blue eyes. At the sound of rustling, Hannibal averts his gaze, watching as the students begin to prepare their materials and Hannibal follows suit, pulling out his sketch book and pencils, laying them out on a small table near his chair. Surprised by his own eagerness to begin sketching, his mind almost wild with the many things he wishes to commit to paper.

Hannibal takes in a deep breath, closes his eyes and when he opens them after several long moments, he begins to let his pencil ghost over the paper, beginning to sketch the rough shape of Will’s head. Time is usually something Hannibal is acutely aware off but when Will suddenly shift, moves off the crates and reaches for the robe, Hannibal finds himself blinking, the students around them already in the middle of packing away their supplies. It has been quite some time since he had last been so lost in his own drawing that time simply slipped away from him.

Hannibal slowly closes his sketchbook and puts it away together with his own supplies and rises from his chair just as Will is about to leave the room, grabbing his bag and slinging his coat over his arm. “Mister Graham, Will, if I may?”, he speaks once he is close enough to the younger man so that he does not have to raise his voice to get his attention. “Excuse me for my poor manners, approaching you in such a way. I-...”, Hannibal continues, frowning when he finds himself at a loss for words, another thing that usually does not happen in his life. Interesting.

“I find myself quite captured, inspired, by you. Which has been exactly why I first contacted Mister Dimmond, as I find myself at a lack of inspiration...or a muse as one may call it. I believe I have found it now”, Hannibal explains, a gentle smile on his lips as he watches Will’s face once again, it had already held all his focus during the lesson, his sketchbook filled by many attempts to get the tousled locks just right or the beautiful shine of his eyes. “I know nothing of your schedule or what you do when you are not modelling for the art students, but I wonder if you might be interested in modelling for me?”

[ladiesgottasers]

Hi everyone!

For a few years now I’ve been designing and running art programs with The MacPhee Centre and NSCAD Extended Studies here in Halifax and Dartmouth. What began as a request for a comics facilitator in my inbox has slowly and organically turned into a job that I really, truly love, and one that I believe I’m pretty good at. As a wonderful added bonus, working and supporting others through their art making process has the effect of reinvigorating my own practice, so it’s been a really positive experience all around.

During the pandemic I’ve been approached about providing private art lessons for both youth and adults. If I’m being honest, I’ve been very afraid to “go out on my own”. On top of that, I have always appreciated the support and guidance from my peers at Extended Studies and The MacPhee Centre. But I’m feeling more confident in my skills these days, so maybe now is the time to test the waters? 

Here's what I can offer you:

My expertise and forte is with teaching youth. I’ve taught every age from 7 to 70, but I find my skills really shine when working with young people, especially those experiencing anxiety, fear, lack of self-confidence, or youth who would love to get into art but feel like it can be too intimidating.

That being said, I’ve also had many adults as students! If you would like someone who can create lessons/exercises for you that are specific to drawing or watercolours, I’ve got you. Into comics? Aw heck yeah, Need someone to give you homework so you sit down with you sketchbook regularly? I love it. Looking to just bring more creativity into your life, generally? That’s a snap.

If you’re looking for adult advanced technique lessons, I’m not the teacher for you, but I bet I could recommend someone that would be so super great for your needs!

I often joke that my style of teaching is just The Lynda Barry Method, lite. She’s so heckin’ great.

I really excel at coming up with a detailed lesson plan, spending 10 minutes with my student in our first session, and promptly throwing out my lesson plan because it didn’t suit the student’s needs. I love being flexible, and I love being able to meet my students where they are in their art making instead of expecting them to meet me where I am in mine, you know? I’m keen to teach online for one hour (which usually turns into 1.5 hours because we need to check-in, consider this week’s vibe, and start up/wrap down class). Any longer and we all turn in to zombies. If you would like in-person sessions, I’m interested in figuring that out with you provided that we’re outside and socially distant. It’s a bummer, but I know we can make it work. 

If any of this sounds interesting, if you have any questions, or if you would like to chat in order to suss out if I can offer what you need, drop me an email ( jjsteeves@gmail.com )! 

Thanks for reading this very long post pals! 

[impressivepress]

Exhibition Henri Matisse, le laboratoire intérieur

Throughout the artist’s life (1869-1954), drawing was a core discipline for Henri Matisse, for which he used a wide range of media (pencil, charcoal and stump, pen and ink, quill and brush ...) and supports (sheets from sketchpads, margins of letters, or fine art paper).

This continuous practice in the privacy of his studio was the laboratory for his work as a painter and for his sculpture – Matisse often compared himself to a juggler or an acrobat, daily maintaining the flexibility of his instrument of work. Matisse’s drawings surround, precede, accompany and extend other artistic forms in his oeuvre and also reveal themselves as independent constellations.

The exhibition illustrates the main moments in this artistic journey, arranged in fourteen thematic and chronological sequences: from the apprenticeship years at the very start of the 20th century, through to the studies for the chapel of the Rosary in Vence (1948-1949), the final masterpiece and culmination of an entire lifetime for Matisse. The suggested path identifies the pivotal points in Matisse’s approach to drawing – from the black of ink or pencil to the modulated white of paper, from the softness of smudged shadows to the light emanating from the final brush drawings, in relation to his experiments with colour in his painting or his work on volume in his sculptures. In the exhibition, each room offers a dialogue between drawings and paintings, etchings and sculptures, with works echoing each other and restoring something of the atmosphere of his various studios: Quai Saint Michel, in Paris from 1894, Issy-les-Moulineaux from 1909, Nice from 1918 until his death in 1954, with the exception of 1943-1948 which Matisse spent in Vence.

Learn. Unlearn

Henri Matisse is twenty-one years old when he goes to train in Paris. He attends evening classes at the École des Arts Décoratifs and at the École Nationale des beaux-arts, in particular in Gustave Moreau’s studio where he rubs shoulders with Albert Marquet and Georges Rouault. He was to stay there from 1892 to 1898, six years during which he works in the studio and assiduously visits the Louvre, where he copies the old masters, including Vermeer, Chardin and Raphaël. Copying gives him an occasional income until 1904, but is above all an essential exercise in the mastery of his craft. In addition to these figures from the past, he is hugely influenced by the great artists of his time, Paul Cézanne and Auguste Rodin, who help him formulate his own pictorial language. While Matisse had always assumed an artistic affinity with the old masters, in 1898 he casts off the weight of the past and escapes from it in all the genres he pursues: the self-portrait, landscapes from nature, or working from life with a model. In the early days, his work appears to be a long journey; he works from the major artists of the past and also with his contemporaries - he admires and challenges by copying, reworking and constantly questioning. And finally he unlearns from the masters.

The grammar of poses

In Matisse’s work, the period from 1904 to 1908 is generally associated with the advent of pure colour. During the summer of 1905, the artist worked in this direction, in the company of André Derain, at Collioure. It was in this mythical place that, under their impetus, fauvism was invented – a founding moment of modernity where colour ceases to bear any reference to local colour, where people and objects are indicated by signs, and where volumes and models are absorbed by the coloured surface. Thus, in La Japonaise: Woman beside the Water, colour and line, figure and decorative background become interchangeable, to the extent that they dissolve in a single movement. This apotheosis of colour is however intimately connected to drawing. These two skills feed the manifestly fauvist canvas The Joy of Life (1905-1906, Philadelphia, The Barnes Foundation), its genesis being evoked by a coloured landscape sketch and numerous drawings. The artist develops a repertoire of poses which he uses constantly throughout his oeuvre. In parallel to the paintings from this period, he also works on a group of three woodcuts, plus a set of small ink drawings. Here too, Matisse delves into his grammar of poses, exploring the ability of the black line to modulate the white surface and thereby give it a luminous, almost “coloured” quality.

A motionless dance

From 1906, Matisse concentrates more on the human figure and develops his creative process, alternating painting sessions with life drawing and sculptures. An overall logic unites these various media around the same conceptual approach to form. Pairs, or even series, can thus be organised around the major sculptures from this period. While Two Négresses reveals the artist’s attraction to African sculpture, they also reflect his interest in the theme of the back which he was to explore both in drawings and in paintings. It was again at the heart of the series of monumental sculptures, Back I, II and III, produced from 1909 to 1917 in step with the drawing-sculpture-painting chain focussing on this subject matter. Designed to be looked at from all angles, other sculptures from this period testify once again to Matisse’s interest in the plastic form of the back. This reflects – in Decorative Figure – a quest for monumentality and – with The Serpentine which was produced after The Dance I (New York, The Museum of Modern Art). In this continuity, a series of drawings is produced, centred on the theme of the issue of spatial expansion originating from the representation of a static figure - a motionless dance.

From portrait to face

Only late on does Matisse express his long-held interest in the “human face”. However, particularly between 1910 and 1917, he is encouraged by a group of fervent lovers of Byzantine art and disciples of philosopher Henri Bergson, who found the principles of a non-representative aesthetic in his art and sought to rethink the links between reality and perception. Matisse then embarks on a journey to develop and to get to the essential, reworking this specific theme in depth. In the portrait of Yvonne Landsberg, in 1914, in the drawing portraits of Eva Mudocci and Josette Gris in 1915, in that of Greta Prozor in 1916, or of George Besson in 1918, Matisse does not flinch from deconstructing and then recomposing his models’ faces, striping them right to the bone, producing unsettling works, often beyond the comprehension of their sponsors. He relies on the subtle use of different drawing methods, a practice he was subsequently to develop further and to theorise thirty years later, in his “Notes of a Painter on his Drawing”. Indeed, in the constellations of drawings and prints associated with the portraits from the period 1914-1916, a cinematography of snapshots already co-exists with a part of informed elaboration. It is thus in and by painting that Matisse finally accesses the spiritual truth of his models.

Trees and oranges

In the preface to the catalogue for the Matisse Picasso exhibition held at the Paul Guillaume gallery in Paris in 1918, Guillaume Apollinaire writes: “If one were to compare the work of Henri Matisse to something, one would have to choose an orange. Like an orange, Henri Matisse’s work is the fruit of dazzling light.” A recurring element which prevails, throughout his oeuvre, as a major subject in his compositions, orange is not a simple motif, which plastic possibilities Matisse explores: it is a real testing ground where the artist confronts the tensions in himself. Present in his early compositions, the fruit reappears during Matisse’s first visit to Morocco in 1912. The artist, in a difficult position due to the rise of cubism and futurism which call into question his role as leader of the avant-garde, will then seek to rethink his art in the light of the artistic tradition of this country. This experiment allows Matisse to set himself apart from the development of the avant-garde to better prepare himself to face it. During the winter of 1915, he travels to L’Estaque, in the footsteps of Paul Cézanne and Georges Braque. There, he abandons the motif of the orange, preferring instead that of the tree, its relationships between forms and forces allowing him to question the vocabulary of cubism. This subject was to occupy him again through force of circumstance : in this period of uncertainty marked by the First World War, active contemplation of nature offers Matisse the resources he needs to regain his equilibrium.

The life-drawing session

In late 1916, Matisse embarks on a new working method, a daily face-to-face, repeated for months and sometimes years, almost exclusively with one model, an Italian called Laurette. A professional model, paid by the hour, she poses for close to a year for around forty canvases, and particularly powerful charcoal drawings. Following the rupture marked by his move to Nice, where Matisse reconnects with the human figure, and during the whole of 1919, the young Antoinette Arnoud replaces Laurette. She inspires a remarkable series of drawings, sometimes worked in great detail, sometimes more elliptical, that Matisse decides to put together in an album published at his expense. Cinquante dessins par Henri-Matisse is objectively the first book composed by the artist, to the content and production of which he was completely committed. A demonstration of virtuosity, in an apparently classical mode, this album is however the contrary to a “return to order” – as Matisse’s period in Nice has often been described.

The odalisque form

Actress, musician and ballerina, Henriette Darricarrère becomes Matisse’s principal model from 1920 to 1927, her body alone incarnating the odalisque form. This word and this motif of odalisque, used by 18th and 19th century painters such as Boucher, Ingres and Delacroix, evoke the representation of nudes without sham mythologies, placed in an allusively oriental decor. In this tradition, Matisse inaugurates in 1921, with the Odalisque with Red Trousers (Paris, Musée national d’art moderne), a long series of works in which the odalisque is no longer a simple motif or an iconographic category, but a way of questioning the insertion of the figure in space. In his apartment, at 1, Place Charles Félix in Nice, Matisse even creates a bedroom like a theatre set, with a platform and decoration of fabrics and wall-hangings, to expose the nudity of the odalisque. Matisse examines the possible ways of achieving the tension of body and decor in various techniques – painting, sculpture, drawing and print – without establishing any hierarchy between them, but regarding them as joint methods of exploration. This series is part of the continuing personal quest of the Orient in relation to the decorative art, crystallised during this time of doubt and intense anguish, the Nice period, during which Matisse seeks to renew his approach by following the lessons of the old masters.

Metamorphoses. Nymph and satyr

Matisse develops the theme of the satyr charming a sleeping nymph, in parallel to that of dance, starting from his fauvist years with The Joy of Life (1905-1906). He reconnects with this motif in the illustration of “The afternoon of a satyr” for the Poems of Mallarmé published in 1932 by Albert Skira, which he creates in parallel to The Dance, a mural for the Barnes Foundation in Philadelphia (United States). Between May and June 1935, he re-engages with this subject once again, producing a series of charcoal sketches, the chronology of which is difficult to ascertain, as Matisse changed and reworked them constantly. Starting from a fairly traditional iconography of the satyr, the artist then stylises this figure, neglecting his traditional attributes (horns and goat’s hooves), to focus on the expressive lines of the body. In these compositions, he was to discover the memory of the work he had started the previous year, on illustrations for James Joyce’s Ulysses, for which he turned to Homer’s Odyssey. These elements reappear in the canvas Nymph in the Forest (Greenery), started in 1935 and pursued tirelessly through to the early 1940’s. Its variations around a single motif and its constant metamorphoses testify to the Matisse’s creative process, who stated: “At each stage, I have a balance, a conclusion. In the next session, if I find that there is a weakness in the entire work, I re-enter myself to my painting via this weakness – I enter via the breach – and I redesign the whole thing.”

The artist and his model, Lydia

A young Russian recently arrived in Nice, Lydia Delectorskaya is initially employed by Matisse as a studio assistant in 1930, while he is working on The Dance for the Barnes Foundation. Although she sits for the artist once in 1934, she really only becomes his model in the following year. In The Dream, he shows her in what is to be his favourite pose, her head resting on her crossed arms surrendered to the gaze. This canvas is Lydia’s inauguration into Matisse’s painting, to which she was to be intimately bound for the rest of his life. In the same period, he develops a series of enormously sensual line life drawings of her, in which he returns to the theme of the “painter and his model” and develops the deconstruction approaches started at the beginning of the century. The presence of a mirror in the composition allows the reflection of the model and the hints of the artist’s presence to be mixed in a continuum of lines, which he explores until 1937. It is at this time that Lydia poses again for a major canvas, Large Blue Dress and Mimosas, in which Matisse paints with relish the dress and the ruffles in a set of drawings seeking harmony between pose and facial expression.

The Romanian blouse

Matisse’s close relationship with textiles, culminating in the Romanian blouse series in 1936-1940, seems to have been triggered by his birth into a family of weavers, and confirmed by his path through life : Le Cateau-Cambrésis, Saint-Quentin, Bohain – all towns centred on bobbin lace factories , wool and textile mills. When he arrives in Paris in 1891, he starts to collect fabrics, wall-hangings and rugs – which would feed and support his artistic creation. In parallel, he builds up a wardrobe for his models, one which grows throughout the 1930’s, containing numerous Romanian blouses, which become a favourite element in his graphic vocabulary. His long-held interest in this item of clothing seems to have grown from his contact with Theodor Pallady, a Romanian painter and former studio comrade of Gustave Moreau, but also from the presence of Lydia Delectorskaya, a young woman originally from Russia, who was to become his favourite model. During this period in which Matisse was seeking a simpler structural method, the graphical aspect of the Romanian blouse allows him to explore a work of purification, down to the expression of simple signs, capturing the character of his subject in the most succinct way. The culmination of Matisse’s interest in textiles, the “ Romanian blouses ” series, also occurs at the time when he embarks on a more general reflection on the decorative, starting from the study of specific motifs.

Cinematography. Themes and variations

In 1941 and 1942, Matisse concentrates on drawing. And he produces hundreds, a “flowering”, as he was to say, comprising series in which the initial drawing is a charcoal study of the developed motif. Other sheets of paper then evolve from this work, as if traced by a blind man, in a state of extreme concentration: “drawings in pen or pencil are like the perfumes emanating from this first master drawing.” He was to return to this approach, referring to “a cinematography of the feelings of an artist. A series of successive images resulting from the work on a given theme by the creator.” Matisse wanted to show this culmination, reconciling the two methods of drawing in a book, Themes and variations. The preface, written by Louis Aragon, is the fruit of an intense dialogue between the painter and the writer. Started in autumn 1941, continued in spring 1942, in the darkest days of the war, this dialogue was to go on in a regular correspondence and discussion, commented by Aragon in Henri Matisse roman, published in 1971. Interiors in Vence. Colours, black and white The season of Interiors in Vence, the final “flowering” of Matisse’s painting, starts in the spring of 1946 and ends two years later with Large Red Interior. This canvas sums up this dazzling series and makes reference to the Red Studio from 1911 (New York, The Museum of Modern Art). A double series in fact, in which strongly coloured canvases are accompanied by large brush-and-ink drawings, with the same motifs: interior (studio) / exterior (garden), nudes, ferns or pomegranates, and always palm trees. Palm trees fill the windows of villa Le Rêve in Vence, into which Matisse settles in June 1943, following the threat of the German occupation of his apartment and studio at the Hotel Régina and afteran air raid at Cimiez. Between painting and drawing, Matisse plays masterfully with black and colour, line and mark, the light of white and that of black. The entire series, exhibited in 1949 is received with great public acclaim, first in New York at his son Pierre Matisse’s gallery, then in Paris at the Musée National d’Art Moderne.

From face to mask

After Louis Aragon, Matisse subjects the faces of his grandchildren to the process of “Themes and variations”. Both adolescents, Claude Duthuit and Jackie Matisse meet their grandfather once again after the separation during the war, in 1945 and 1947 respectively. He drew studies of them in charcoal, extensively worked, followed by quick variations in line, arising from successive sensations and transcribed immediately, as well as simplified “faces”, still portraits yet already masks. They all need to be viewed in relation to these words by Matisse: “The face doesn’t lie: it is the mirror of the heart.”

Vence Chapel. Colour and light

The Vence Chapel of the Rosary project arose from Matisse’s meeting with Monique Bourgeois, a young nurse who cared for him following a major operation in 1941, before becoming his confidante and model. Having joined the order of the Dominicans of Vence in 1946, she tells Matisse in the following year of her plan to extend the chapel of their congregation. With the assistance of Brother Rayssiguier and Father Couturier, the artist produces an initial drawing which is approved by architects Auguste Perret and Louis Milon de Peillon. From 1948 to 1951, Matisse also designs the stained glass windows and the ceramic panels opposite them, as well as the liturgical ornaments. The Vence chapel project allows Matisse to design a space in its entirety and to produce a pictorial language which is a synthesis of his work. As the artist expressed it : “In the chapel, my main aim was to balance a surface of light and colour with a solid wall, with a black on white drawing. This chapel was for me the culmination of a whole lifetime’s work for which I was chosen by destiny at the end of my road, which I continue by my research, with the chapel giving me the opportunity to define it by uniting it.” As a whole, the various preparatory studies for the ceramic panels, stained glass windows and the door of the confessional testify to the long process resulting in Matisse’s final monumental project.

Henri Matisse and Lyon

In January 1941, Matisse’s health deteriorates and he is rushed to hospital, initially the Clinique Saint-Antoine in Nice, from where he is subsequently transferred to the Clinique du Parc in Lyon. There, in 1941, he undergoes an operation for duodenal cancer, carried out by Professor Santy assisted by Professors Wertheimer and Leriche. Matisse “miraculously” recovers from this procedure. He leaves hospital in April and convalesces at the Grand Nouvel Hôtel, rue Grolée in Lyon, before returning to Nice in May. During this period, he has many talks with art critic Pierre Courthion, about Lyon, a “city through and through” which is described as “consistent”. It is at this time that René Jullian, the director of the Musée des Beaux-Arts in Lyon, approaches Matisse in order to acquire one of his works. In 1943, the artist sends the museum a copy of his book Themes and Variations, accompanied by a series of six original drawings produced for the book. From this time until 1950, Matisse sends his illustrated works to the museum, including the album Jazz, each bearing an inscription to the Musée de Lyon. The culmination of this relationship was the purchase, after lengthy negotiations, by Jullian in 1947, of a painting by Matisse: the portrait of the Antiquarian Georges-Joseph Demotte. This collection of Matisse’s works at the museum was to grow further in 1993 by the addition of Young Woman in White, Red Background, from the Centre Pompidou to which it had been gifted by the artist’s son Pierre Matisse.

~ From 2 December 2016 to 6 March 2017.

[in-the-key-of-f-major]

types of people

c major: childhood cartoons, always asking why, finds delight in all kinds of weather, captivates people with their childlikeness, enjoys the simple things in life, not troubled by the complexities of adulthood, lives in the moment

c minor: struggling in life, doing their best with mixed results, feels misunderstood by people, hard to get to know, stays up late with coffee but ends up reflecting on the past instead of actually doing work, cynical

d-flat major: sunlit apartment, always has a cup of tea/coffee/hot chocolate ready, curls up under a blanket by the window on a rainy day, small bathroom plants, carries a book around with them, has unread books but still looks for more books to buy

c-sharp minor: hanging out in pubs, loves to admire the full moon when walking home at night, wandering around old streets and cobblestone paths at night, silently enjoying the evening wind, bright lipstick and messy but cute hair

d major: the opposite of a procrastinator, carries a planner around and actually uses it, organised schedule, unintentionally scares people by their strive for excellence, can be bossy at times, always looks on the bright side of things even when they don’t go as planned

d minor: tries to find hope but fails, has a small circle of friends they don’t talk to much, feeling betrayed by everyone, had a painful past they would rather forget but can’t, thankful for that one friend who reaches out to them

e-flat major: always the leader in group projects, appreciates old church buildings, hymns and folk songs, draws attention but not in the way they’d like, wants to be remembered for who they are, a joy to work with

e-flat minor: sitting at a 24 hour restaurant at 2am, weird sense of humour, abstract art, doesn’t say much, city lights at night, can actually be happy but prefers not to show it, isn’t put off by dark themes in literature, minimalist spaces

e major: bright sunny mornings, always eats breakfast, sometimes wakes up to watch the sun come up, can be a little naive at times, retains a childlikeness about them, picnics under a tree on weekends, fights for justice, does good just because they can

e minor: centre of attention, finger guns, football and rugby, probably the class clown during their school days, unable to keep a straight face during serious situations, always thinking of the next joke or meme, known for hilarious stories at work or in school

f major: dinner parties, playfully teasing their loved ones, can be impatient at times, some sadness beneath their smile, constant note-to-self thoughts to get their act together, stays calm and in control of things, enjoys watching sunsets, always there for their friends

f minor: used to tough situations, comfortable sports clothes, many-in-one tools, cat-like grace, light on their feet, prepared for an emergency, enjoys thunderstorms, always bounces back, strong will and determination, hair flying in the wind

f-sharp major: potted plants, scent of chamomile, gardening tips, will invite people over on a whim, gives off that “everything will be okay” vibe, loves to give and receive hugs, sunlight filtering through a window, occasionally pushes boundaries for fun

f-sharp minor: captivating, scared of judgment from other people, too shy to initiate plans, tubs of ice cream, netflix marathons, avoids conflict, can handle things on their own but would rather not, hates crowded places, never finishes their to-do list

g major: light-hearted, pranks, loves april fools’ day, misinterprets sarcasm, has a heart of gold that doesn’t always show due to blunders, tries to include everyone, loyal to friends, believes in doing things right even if it takes a lot of time, clumsy

g minor: argumentative, used to be in the school debate team, would make a great lawyer, looks for loopholes in the opposing side’s argument, pensive, emotionally turbulent, has a soft side that few people know about

a-flat major: loves baking for their friends, jars of cookies on the windowsill, wooden furniture, coffee shops in quiet towns, keeps jewelry in boxes, treats friends to lunch, knows when you say you’re okay and you’re really not

g-sharp minor: an old soul, graceful movements, dislikes many aspects of modern society, secretive, hard to get to know, nobody really knows them, comes across as strong, hardworking, scares people away without meaning to

a major: impulsive, wants their way, draws people to them, constant changes in mood, knows what they want and how to get it, prefers spontaneity to detailed plans, doesn’t like schedules, always on the go, friendly, randomly bursting into song

a minor: gazing out the window, dreary sighs, wishes to have their old life back, looks at old photos and souvenirs, hope for the future, deals with internal conflict, wonders what their life could have been, unfulfilled dreams

b-flat major: nature walks, loves to identify constellations, hiking shoes and track pants, loves camping, cute poems for the people they like, slightly bothered by popular people but ultimately moves on, likes to learn for the sake of knowledge

b-flat minor: late nights at the office, usually wears formal attire, suppresses feelings too much for their own good, appears successful at first glance but is actually struggling internally, remorseful after getting really angry, wants to heal from the past but doesn’t know how

b major: sleeps in on weekends, visual artist, creative, doodling on scraps of paper and in notebooks, odd sleeping hours, doesn’t like offices, works on a different schedule from everyone else, moves slowly but with purpose

b minor: always expecting the worst of any situation, enjoys fine wine, art galleries and museums, ambitious but doesn’t realise their ambitions, acts like a little kid at times, hides under the blanket, sometimes has a bit of hope but it soon fades

[this is based on the Signature Series CBC]

[pynkhues]

I was wondering, in the c&c universe, who in Beth's kid would be the more likely to do something that could really piss off Rio? Like he seem to always remain calm and in control with the kids, I sometimes wonder how he would react if one of them did something really really bad...

Ah, this is such a fun ask! It’s such a funny thing too, because I sort of had loose thoughts in my head about the kids when I started writing C&C, but they’ve really firmed up across the course of writing it (which I hope has come across for people reading!) It’s been so fun to imagine the kids as more than just plot devices and scenery like they often are on the show (not all the time! But…. sometimes), and even more fun imagining the relationships both Beth and Rio have with them.

So, okay, for everyone reading, this is all purely Center and Circumference stuff, not canon, so just keep that in mind.

(This list is ordered least prone to being infuriating down to most, haha, not age, which I think in both canon / C&C is Kenny – Danny – Emma – Marcus – Jane).

Rio definitely finds Emma and Kenny the easiest.

Emma

Emma is someone I typically write based mostly off her s2 characterisation (and a bit off her s1 characterisation!) as being incredibly sweet and gentle. She’s a bit of a tattle tale, a bit bossy, super well-behaved, but also very bright, kind and creative. She’s hands down the easiest of all the kids for both Beth and Rio, but is also prone to being oversensitive about things and totally useless when it comes to defending herself or standing her ground. She’s not weak-willed exactly, just she doesn’t really stand up to scrutiny and she hates conflict.

With all of that, Rio’s relationship with her is very paternal and pretty protective. He genuinely likes being around her because she’s quiet and studious and thoughtful, but he also gets immensely frustrated by her – particularly as she gets older – because she’s a little too soft, and she wounds easily, and is a little prone to being taken advantage of by kids at school (which scares the shit out of both Beth and Rio, even if they won’t always admit it). Particularly in highschool, Emma’s the sort who’s desperate to fit in, and will do things out of character to get there, which totally breaks Beth’s heart and infuriates Rio to no end.

Kenny

I actually see Kenny as being someone who’s fairly sensitive as well. I think the show portrays that in the sense of him generally being pretty gentle and overly trusting, and having his anxieties manifest through his binge eating (which was a massively underdeveloped storyline, but I liked it and am running with it, haha). In C&C – which I’ve written in a few times already – I see him generally as having ‘manned up’ when Dean moved out, and made a big effort to help Beth more and to be a good big brother to his siblings, but also still being somebody who’s fairly soft at the centre of him and prone to anxiety.

During Beth and Dean’s divorce, he also got progressively more protective of Beth, and that’s something he initially struggles with in terms of her and Rio’s relationship, but as Rio and Beth become longer term and more and more stable, and Rio keeps looking out for Beth, Kenny really does come to love Rio, although he always has - - not reservations, but I think he’s the first to realise exactly what sort of work Rio does, and it worries him constantly – something that only gets worse as his relationship to Rio grows and he becomes worried for him too.

Kenny’s…not the brightest crayon in the box, and he can be a bit of a dick, particularly during adolescence (what teenager isn’t?), but he’s not really rebellious. Beth and Rio have the most issues getting him to study and getting him to have any sort of ambition or direction that isn’t fleeting (he’s a (adequate) jack of all trades and a master of none!)

In terms of the kids most capable of pissing Rio off, it’s sort of a three-way tie for different reasons, haha.

Marcus

Marcus is, of course, Rio’s son, and in that he’s charismatic, cute, a little more cunning than he pretends to be, and too smart for his own good. And Rio knows, of course he knows, but he’s a little more blind to it than he realises he is, which just entertains Beth to no end. He was a natural born troublemaker, and Beth sees it instantly, but Rio is forever convinced its Jane’s influence, and sees Marcus as more of a golden child than he is (although to be fair – he’s a pretty golden child).

Beth develops a really strong relationship with Marcus, particularly through cooking as Marcus loves doing that with her (Rio can’t cook, and despite the fact that Marcus’ mom – Laura – manages restaurants, she’s all business, not the craft of cooking really at all), and he actually kind of loves that Beth calls him on his bullshit while also being loving and fair, whereas Rio is someone who’s prone to penduluming between approval and disapproval when it comes to the kids, haha.

Marcus generally though is pretty relaxed, a voracious reader, lowkey competitive (he loves a boardgame and plays a range of sports in highschool), but he’s also someone with a bit of a wild streak – particularly in terms of pranks, partying and toying with the line of the law as he gets older (usually with Jane. Okay, always with Jane).

Jane

And ah, Jane. My favourite Boland Kid after s2, haha. She’s snarky, stubborn, is brought to life by gross things, and is about as reckless and prone to misbehaving as Emma is to, well, good behaviour (although Jane does actually listen to Beth too – just like in 2.07 – she didn’t cross the road!). Jane is a terror through and through, and sure, she has a heart of gold, but as Annie will say “At what cost?”

Jane rebels hard, but despite that, she adores both Beth and Rio, and while she exudes confidence, and is a natural born leader, she’s a lot needier than she pretends she is, and is very much the family baby. She doesn’t make friends easily, but she found another half in Marcus – who becomes basically her twin in many ways, but who she’s also sort of in constant battle around because for all the ways people gravitate to Marcus, they tend to avoid Jane (sexism and misogyny’s a bitch!) and Marcus, despite all his best traits, just doesn’t get it and assumes it’s usually because she’s pissed someone off. In no small part because Jane also is somebody who’s pretty naturally antagonistic, but she’s also fierce and kind and loyal and smarter than she pretends to be. Particularly as she gets older too, she becomes closer and closer with Emma and Beth, but also Annie and Ruby.

Jane’s probably the kid Rio finds most frustrating on a surface level – she’s the one who’s always in trouble after all – but as we all know, Rio kind of loves troublemakers, and there aren’t any smoke and mirrors with Jane. She is what she is, and Rio doesn’t have favourites (outside of his son of course), but if he did – despite himself – Jane would be it. He loves that little jerk, haha.

Danny

So the winner of the ‘kid who pisses Rio off the most’ is Danny, and I feel a bit bad for saying this here, because I haven’t actually really written much of this in yet (although it’s heavily plotted into Part 4 of C&C and very firm in my head). Danny’s definitely the kid on the show that we know the least of, but he’s also pretty consistently quiet in the scenes we’ve seen him in, and so I have rolled with that, haha.

He’s artistic and creative, albeit pretty average at non-artsy classes at school (although not a struggling student at all), but he’s also really quiet and almost private. Not secretive exactly, but he’s a kid who doesn’t like much attention drawn to him, who embarrasses easily, and who just likes to do his own thing – which proves a nightmare for both Beth and Rio for a few reasons – firstly, Rio’s SO into art, and sees so much talent in Danny, that Danny’s really just too embarrassed to show Rio (particularly early on – I think Danny’s the slowest to warm to people too), secondly, he’s prone to wandering off on his own and disappearing (I keep wanting to write this with Beth and Rio both freaking out in their own ways and somebody should prompt me, haha), thirdly, his tendency to fly under the radar means he gets away with things and can misbehave without drawing attention until he’s arrested for graffiti), and fourth, (which is a lowkey spoiler for Part 4!) that that tendency towards not drawing attention to himself means he can be genuinely sick or hurt and prone to hiding it. (I also headcanon him in this series as being very prone to getting sick generally, but that feels like a whole other thing).  

And all of that really is something that pisses Rio off – both when Danny’s still a kid and when he’s older, because Danny’s surprisingly good at playing innocent and Rio doesn’t like being made a fool of – whether that be Danny pretending he doesn’t have a fever before school only to have Rio called a few hours later by the school nurse, to when he’s older, and pretending he doesn’t care if Rio comes to a tiny, low-rent artshow everyone knows he’s better than, and then being upset when Rio doesn’t figure it out, which is to say nothing of poor Beth, haha.

Anyway, clearly I need to write more Danny and his nightmare self into C&C.

But yes! The answer to your question is Danny, haha, although they are all terrible, wonderful dumpster kids in their own ways.

[maulionicious-blog]

PRENATAL

Prenatal development, this follows 2 developmental patterns are cephalocaudal pattern and proximidistal pattern. Cephalocaudal pattern growth that proceeds from the head downward. While Proximidistal pattern growth that proceeds from the body outward. The fetus is responsive to stimuli and appears to learn in the womb. Prenatal temperamental differences persist into infancy and childhood, and some aspects of the prenatal sensory environment maybe important to future development. There are risks associated with teratogenic material diseases these include rubella, AIDS, syphilis, gonorrhoea, genital herpes, and CMV. If a mother has poor nutrition, her fetus faces increased risks of stillbirth, low birth weight, and death during the first year of life.

               When I realized prenatal, I really don’t know if this past is real that I remember or not because before I come into this world I started seeing pink path flowing through the clouds of what I see it depicts that makes me travel at that time I was like watching from what just I saw passes me by. I don’t know if these are real or that was inside my head but from what i see that looks like stars maybe a nebula of some kind galaxies. When I was born I thought it was like a space shuttle which I was riding but that’s it that is how I end up either I imagine that or it was like I saw how I really travel from that part and even so I choose to forget it.

INFANCY  

In infancy, many were able to say first words or other making sounds like cooing and anything that the baby emotion has express. The humans are born with adaptive reflexes that help them survive. Automatically sucking any object that enters the mouth, disappear in infancy or childhood. Primitive reflexes controlled by the less sophisticated parts of the brain. Sensorimotor stage, infants use information from their senses and motor actions to learn about the world. Object Permanence understanding that objects continue to exist when they can’t be seen. The infant has attachment things to the parents to identify his or her parents.

I didn’t remember what I do but I experience how difficult I was since my first guardian abused me then my parents forced me to go in Tagum were my grandparents can take care of me while my parents can do their work on their own. I was lucky and happy which leads to me being naughty and I was a difficult child to handle. From that past I was never recognized who are my parents was because all I know my parents are my grandparents thought they were real to me. And from that day I was quiet and suddenly would be different than any other day.

 EARLY CHILDHOOD

           The measuring intelligence an assumption in studying differences in intelligence is that these differences can be measured. The first tests led by Alfred Binet and Theodore Simon to identify children who might have difficulty in school. This intelligence was later called Intelligence Quotient (IQ). The intelligence of child affects the influences in the family it depends how they raised their child. Parenting styles differ in temperament themselves, so, just like their children; they vary in how they respond to situations. The four types of parenting styles are permissive parenting style, authoritarian parenting type, authoritative parenting type, and uninvolved parenting style.

             When I was elementary student I was a running around person until they set new rules for me. My parents were became permissive or strict in general term, they intended to bring me after class hours in the tutorial centre to guide me through my topics and some of that I became a nuisance to others who were studying there too I suppose that I never learn anything that days. It may be different from today because I realized that studying is important and I learn through their reasons why my parents are so very strict to me. As of today I realize something that even when in difficult struggle, can be trying harder again to accomplish once goal.

      MIDDLE CHILDHOOD

           Physical and cognitive changes the way for being a middle childhood. Many children participate in such clubs like sports, arts, and etc. This has intellectual interest about their health, fitness, and academic performances were concerned. The cognitive changes which term for their language on how they initialize their potential to make it in time. Achievement tests are designed to assess specific information learned in school. The relationships of parents and also friends are important to keep the bonds together and strong no matter the problems are and their child and friends help to sustain their courage to do so in the end.    

           Middle child hood for me is about the pressure and sometimes I ignore the mistakes I did but I never well go around. I focus more on ignoring stuff playing a gadget my prioritize time that I did than studying. I never concern about my health and fitness, I always drink soda and eating junk foods. I had friends before, friends that see u one time then ignore me instantly, only cares when I am bullied by my classmate then they come and when the problem solves they’re gone. Parents can courage to their child something more and something wonderful to be great.  

 ADOLESCENCE

           Adolescence is the transitional period between childhood and adulthood. They’re puberty changes as primary and secondary sex characteristics, which their hormone as menarche which is the beginning of menstrual cycles. Adolescent sexuality can be so tempting and there are risks factor which led to sexual situation. Teens nowadays engaged in sexual activities were often seeing on television shows like the Pretty Little Liars. An adolescent learns and changes their gender identity as they confirm themselves gay, lesbians, and bisexuals. Most of the teens engaged in drugs, alcohol, and tobacco which of them bring out the curiosity of teenagers are sensation seeking.

           As I experience there are things which is evolving around me my sexual characteristics that I don’t understand which leads me to confusion. After that when I saw some television shows that romantic love scene how to proper court someone and make fell in love. Creating sexual desires in their dream longing for someone to be loved and that is how is. I tried to be gay for a contest which I had someone make up for me and quite a lot of fun to give laughter for everyone in just a nick of a time. I am into alcohol but not a strong one; I usually drink if there is an occasion going on with my parent’s permission.

EARLY ADULTHOOD      

           Primary aging occurs most of them develop gray hair, wrinkles, and changes in visual acuity. While Secondary aging is the product of environmental influences, health habits, or disease, and it is neither inevitable nor experienced by all adults. Health habits shows the detection of illness can see what kind of illness is and can determine can be prevent it or not. Sexual Transmitted Disease which the humans never use contraceptives to protect from it and they were getting from it through sexual intercourse. Most intimate partners’ abuses which due to most reasons are jealousy of having their partners seeing someone. Career development focused on adapting to the workplace, managing career transitions, and pursuing personal goals through employment.

             I may develop gray hair but I always thought of something that an illness which of the disease may try to kill me in the only way to die but I always thought the diabetes is the reason why I die. I will never know which would be so my fate will be decided which one of the diseases. I had always doubt about my lifestyle and I am getting obese more than ever. Career development for me is different, imagine where would I be sitting and seeing I help people. I really dream about not only becoming a RPm but maybe becoming an air force pilot someday.

     MIDDLE ADULTHOOD

            Most of men and women having osteoporosis resulting in reduced bone mass and more brittle and porous bones. Vision and hearing can be sudden changes for adulthood which began to decrease the retina and person’s overall sensitivity to light waves. Health and Wellness can be so devastating when it comes to illnesses which started by imbalance diet or any hobbies like smoking that lead to lung cancer. Memory function drawing conclusions about memory rarely include middle-aged people. They were being generosity is their care, give what they can give for their grandkids. They struggle long enough to survive from their illness.

             I really imagine that what could be waiting for me if I suffer an illness which is different from early adulthood of mine. I should be hardly and slowing to move my body as I was beginning to had crack bones of mine with its sound. As I imagine a lot what would be the life of me in 60 years age of me look like exactly. I can be grown old, grumpy, and sad living in home for the aged or even live with grandkids of my own. It is really hard that thinking way more about it is just never ever will happen if I just don’t let it.  

 LATE ADULTHOOD

           Life expectancy and longevity improvements in these variables among the elderly themselves over the past several decades are responsible for changes in the expected lifespans of adults in their 60s and beyond. General slowing the biggest single behavioural effect of age-related physical changes is a general slowing down. Wisdom and creativity elders might have some advantages over the young because of their accumulation of knowledge and skills. Wisdom reflects understanding of “universal truths” or basic laws or patterns. Life satisfaction or a sense of well-being is also an important component of successful aging. Religious beliefs are the component of religious coping involves people’s beliefs and attitudes.

             Life can be full of surprises when realize about something that can be precious to our love ones and we expands our life expectancy to experience more and thank God that we exist long lives today and some of old of us can be slow to stimuli. We do believe our own will to find out how our experiences can show to others how we make it and offer as a good advice to others that may help to guide others away from dangerous paths they never cross. Life of our existence is constant and I would say that it is okay for me to live this life, I owe it to the end of my last breathe for I shall die happy person. Religious gives you the morality and the spirituality which gives the inner peace of our mind and channels our prayer to our God.

[qdtquietdownthere]

Day 11- A day of reflecting in an art gallery and painting, glueing and giggling in the sun.

Day 11

The waking up process, if it can be called a process, is the trickiest part of the residency actually. Waking up in your own bed, in Tottenham, seeing your flatmates, talking about the day ahead. It is a different world. I have to go from that, to the tube, then be in Pimlico. To this new, yet familiar place of comfort. What is the most exhausting is this point of change and transition- waking up in the life you are used to then diving into a day of fresh, exiting, uncertainty. No one really understands whats going on, and no one really wants to listen to me describing every detail of my day. I do not think this is something I would enjoy to do either. It’s lonesome in this sense. A temporary community which no one else is experiencing. That is so special though. I feel useful, like my existence and participation means something. 

I am very aware it is ending. Second last day. I am so comfortable now.

I walk around the area following a gentle map. I have walked these streets before. The Thames, the Bridge, the view of brutal Battersea, the tiny parks and the contrasts. There are so many contrasting textures, architecture and people. An area of extreme wealth, and then a definite lack of it. I feel uncomfortable with it at points. In my favourite park which sits just behind Tate Britain I watch a very wealthy man spend half an hour with a puppy trainer and his pedigree puppy. He tells me they have traveled from Devon. There is a visible contrast when you look for it. You can maybe hear it more than you can see it. I hear coffee orders which are 3 minutes long, decaf, soy, skinny milk. At the community centre in Churchill Gardens a cup of tea will always be milk and one sugar. I wonder where I sit in this pool of people, I wonder where other people see me belonging.

CCA is based next to Tate Britain and I try to go in to see the degree show but I am told it ended last week. There aren't many students around, ever. The whole time I have been in Pimlico I haven't noticed anyone who jumped out to me as looking like a student (whatever that means). I guess they have all gone home for summer. Over the past week I have seen a few Chinese students, as I guess flying home at such a high price isn't necessarily an option for international students. I wonder about the loneliness of living in this city when your purpose of being here is to purely be a student. I did my undergraduate at Leeds and it was the loneliest time for me. Sometimes I would walk to town, to the big Boots and back, just to get out, see people and feel like I was a part of what everyone else was doing. I worked all through university but I didn't really hang out with work friends, and with a class size of 10, well, there wasn't much social life going on. I wish I had gone out more, joined societies. Even if they didn't interest me, I should have pushed myself. I was nineteen and maybe I was shy, but I think what kept me being lonely was a reluctancy to say I was lonely to anyone apart from my family and friends who all lived back home in Edinburgh. I think about the mother I met during the babies library session at Victoria Library and how she was frustrated there were no classes on for her thirteen year old son. Kids don't want to look uncool, and I think this can continue for some people into university. There is a pool of opportunity in this pool of young people who are desperate to engage in a world, but scared and uncertain how to. No one whats to stand out from the self conscious crowd of teenagers and there is opportunity in making activities which both work with, and eradicate this. 

I walk across the courtyard from CCA and find a different art show; “Observer: John Latham and the Distant Perspective”. Latham’s body of work explores derelict land outside of Edinburgh and was developed from an artist placement with the Scottish Development Agency. The three month long artist residences took place in different locations, from industrial settings such as fishing villages to a residency exploring the mental health care service (https://mapmagazine.co.uk/john-latham-incidental-person). What was the desired outcome of these residencies? Well, the hope was that by involving an artist, “his creative intelligence or imagination can spark off ideas, possibilities and actions” ultimately benefiting development projects in Scotland (Lyddon, 2007). When the committee introducing Latham to the project asked if the artist was going to solve problems, Lyddon replied “No, the artist is going to show us problems we didn't know were there”. In the end, if there is ever an end to a body of work, Latham decided to explore the area in Midlothian from an areal perspective, or ‘from the distance’. It was from this, and through interacting intensely with archival aerial photography from the area, he was able to map out distinctive land features from the shale industry and turn these into a piece of re-conceived monumental, or sculptural work. The act of doing this changes how the public interact with the local landscape. I find the work fascinating and oh so funny to have stumbled into work made in this context during my time doing the residency in Churchill Gardens. I haven't continued to read into the work of Latham, but it has brought up interesting ideas as to how perspectives of place, how history, and fresh eyes can have an impact on how individuals engage with space. I think of how my view of the streets have changed since I began engaging in the area. How the image of a street morphs the more you walk down it. How the build up of memories connected to place erode and evolve as you step away then interact with them again. I am lucky to know these streets now and I get an overwhelming sense to draw them. Once again I'm excited by the power of naming, of bringing into the spotlight, places or people to create a transformative effect on how we engage with them. As I have been unable to draw or make during my time on the residency, I have taken up naming and writing lists of names instead. My diary has one section which includes as many names I can remember from all the people I have interacted with since my time in and around Pimlico and Churchill Gardens. Drawing cements and validates a memory or idea through the act of mark making, and I believe the power of naming and writing these names validates all the connections I have had to people over the course of the two weeks. I have found this at least itches my little creative scratch. Or rather, it scratches my creative itch.

In the afternoon I return to the Thamesbank Centre to volunteer with Shambush as part of the South west festival. With children from the surrounding housing estates, Shambush are holding creative making events in local community centres to try and create a way for children to engage with art and their neighbouring communities. We work to a brief which is to design, paint and glue onto paper ‘solar panels’ these of space, which will later be put together and secured to a huge metal structure and presented as a space shuttle in the gardens of Tate Britain. For each making event a child attends in their local area, they receive a stamp on their ‘space engineer passport’. It is a fantastic idea and I find it so exciting to hear that there is an activity in place to connect these very separate housing estates which tend to never really mix. When speaking to both Shambush and the local children who come to do the making session, it is apparent that Tate Britain is another world to this community. Im not surprised. It is a twenty minute walk away, yet completely inaccessible as a cultural engagement. This is sad but a very real reality.  Fine art is most easily digested by those with the confidence to enter into the gallery space and those with the education to understand how to interact with it. 

The kids are wonderful and messy and giggly and I laugh a lot with two girls in particular. We are silly and happy and I feel in my element. I feel so lucky to be in this space making with such interesting and wonderful kids. A group of boys come over and make maths themed solar panels. One boy manages to name every dwarf planet in our solar system and I feel very stupid when I talk about the ‘fire hurricanes on Venus’ (he probably knows the scientific latin name for them). Its so great how the space works. We are outside, the sun is shining, kids come and go and there is a real sense that we are in the heart of the community. We are on Peabody estate on Tachbrook Avenue so the street is lined by beautiful tall flats. In its centre is the park which is connected to the community centre, so every flat can watch down on us. I speak to one boy who is in year 5 and he says because of the park he has lots of friends who are older and younger than him. It is a place for all ages. 

Throughout the day only two parents come and talk to us and engage with the activities. Its a shame because so often it is the parents who are cautious and scared to venture out and try new things, and go new places which ultimately gets passed down to the kids. When we age we tend to view creativity as something that we have or we don't have. The older we get the more we become aware that we can or cannot draw. The older we get the more we isolate ourselves from activities and places we don't feel comfortable, or that accentuate the fact we cant draw, or paint or act. The kids seem to want to come to Tate when we tell them their work will be shown there, but unfortunately that isn't enough, it is about the parents. Pimlico toy library was great for this, and Shelia was really passionate that she was creating a space which was confidence building for parents. This is vital. 

The children power through the activities and start getting a little bored. I suggest making some space themed origami fortune tellers. Im worried that maybe I should have asked before doing this but Shambush are lovely and energetic about getting stuck in and keeping busy. The kids seem to love it and I get a real sense of right. I don't really know how to describe it. I feel in my element. This is huge for me and something which means the world when you're at the start of a career as a young artist who is still trying to find her feet. I wouldn't have had the means to experience bringing ideas to a children's art session before this and I feel so lucky that I am in this position. I feel validated that it is met with so much enthusiasm. 

The afternoon wizzes past. The father of the two girls who I had spent a lot of time with is brought down by his carer to go to the park. From the top floor flat their mother calls them up to go and help with caring for the neighbours. They give me lots of cuddles goodbye and run off with hands covered in glue and crisps. I cant help but think about what a potentially tricky life they must have, but how wonderful and giggly they are. I wish I could meet their mother and tell her how great they have been. How great all the kids have been. I leave and have a little cry down the phone to my friend because I'm so sad it has ended. It felt pivotal for me as just me, as someone who is unsure of my next steps, of what areas of work I would like to pursue. It is because of this afternoon, and because of this residency that I have been given this opportunity and this space to gain confidence and experience in wonderful exciting and giggle fuelled roles. 

Today is one of the best days I have had. Volunteering gives the residency a whole new level as i feel I'm working as part of a service which is effecting change. This is something I have a growing need to do. Its a wonderful thing that these two great volunteering opportunities with Shambush and the food distribution with Mike happened on my last few days. I feel I am more ready for them at this stage. I think about the residency ending, but on a larger scale, I think about goodbyes. I am not very good at them. I am home and I'm writing lots, I will have vegetable ratatouille for tea and I am going to have a gin and tonic too, because the sun is shining and I am happy. Big day tomorrow. Sad day. Big day. Last day. 

[bullet-prooflove]

Translucent - Artist!Rafael AU

For the past two years Rafael's world has been devoid of color, could a chance meeting at a life drawing class change all of that?

The painting was dark, one of the darkest that Rafael had ever had the audacity to paint. He stood in front of it, his emerald gaze fixated on the drying brush strokes as he watched the rivets of paint trail down the drying canvas like the blackest of tears.

The pigment stuck out against the vapid grey hues, highlighting the vivid splash of white he had used like a flourish in a bid to lighten the painting, to draw  something bright out of the darkness but he had failed. He could feel disappointment burning in his chest as he reviewed the canvas critically.

He had really tried this time. He had attempted to pour some resemblance of his old self, the man he used to be into this painting but he had failed once again. The crushing numbness just seemed to bleed out of him, staining every single thing that he created.

His head jerked to the right. In his peripheral vision he could see the ghosts of the past two years stacked up beside each other against the brickwork of his studio. Each a violent reminder of the void he harboured deep down inside of him.

The context of each painting was different but the shades they stayed the same, tints of gaping blacks, dusky whites and murky greys. These were the only colours he painted in anymore.

After Sonny died he could only work in the way he saw the world, in desolate, bleak tones.

In the immediate aftermath it had been red, so many different hues and textures, he would spend hours just creating swirling patterns, mixing crimson, burgundy and rose. He had drowned in the grief, in the agony of losing his lover in such a violent manner.

After the funeral though he felt nothing. Once Sonny was in the ground, that single blood red carnation resting on the glossy surface of his coffin as they began to heap the dirt in, it was all over for Rafael. He had shut down completely

A piece of Rafael’s soul had died with Sonny during the shoot out that had claimed his life.  He didn’t see the world in colour anymore, his existence was lived solely in muted compositions.

Rafael looked around at the artwork surrounding him. That dull ache was back, it was a constant, persistent pain that gnawed at the inside of his chest everytime he cast his gaze over the artwork he had spent the past eighteen months preparing.

This was his life, his world without Sonny Carisi.

Olivia Benson was no stranger to art, especially not to this particular artist. She had always loved Rafael's work, more so after she had introduced him and Sonny at a charity event all those years ago. His style had developed along with their relationship, his work had become brighter, the colours he used more vibrant. She had adored it so much that she had gifted several of his pieces to her friends over the years. She even had one of his canvases hanging above her ornate fireplace. ‘Here Come’s the Rain’ it was called.

She had fallen in love with the painting the second she had laid eyes on it. The midnight blue, streaked with flashes of cobalt and indigo. There were very subtle hints of grey speckled through the oil paint like raindrops splashing into puddles.

It was the umbrella that she loved the most, it shone like a dazzling sunny beacon in the centre of canvas bringing a cheerful glow to the rest of the image.

The light in the dark, she had thought upon seeing it and every time she looked at that painting the same thought trickled through her head, making her heart feel just that little bit less heavy.  It reminded her that there was still beauty in the world even on the days when it seemed harsh and cruel.

However here in the Williamson Gallery she didn’t recognise the artist that had painted these pictures. She couldn’t see his essence in any of the artwork that was hung upon the walls.

“It’s very dark,” The man beside her uttered, his hands shoved into the pockets of his leather jacket as his steely grey gaze fixated on the piece before them. “Different from the piece I bought two years ago.”

At six foot four, Trevor Langan towered above his friend. Today he was wearing black rimmed glasses that suited his handsome features, he was dressed casually in smart denim jeans with a crisp white button up shirt. On his left wrist he wore several bracelets, mala beads Olivia recalled. Trevor had joked once that they gave him a more “bohemian” air.

“It is,” Olivia agreed with a sigh, wrapping her arms around herself as she stared into the depths of the canvas. She could see the agony in every brush stroke, the anguish that rippled underneath the surface of the thinning layers.

“Grief affects people in different ways,” Trevor told her with a deep sigh.

She could tell, he felt it too. It was in the way his mouth became a thin, grim line as he surveyed the contours of the image. His body language had shifted slightly, leaning away from the offending canvas, his arms crossed over his chest as if he were erecting a barrier between himself and the intensity of the painting.

She didn’t blame him.

It hurt too much too look at.

The art show was a success by Rafael’s standards, the Williamson Gallery was one of his favourite places to showcase but he hadn’t been back here since Sonny had died. He wondered what his younger lover would have made of these paintings. They were a deluge of colourlessness to the naked eye, a stark contrast from the usual art the gallery exhibited. Perhaps that was why he had sold so much tonight.

A few of the larger canvases had discreet red sticky dots alongside of them indicating their sale, along with a series he had created over the course of three separate paintings. Monochrome was in fashion he had been told by the gallery owner Rita Calhoun as she had thumbed through his pieces and his artwork was the perfect accompaniment.

Despite Rita’s request he hadn’t come to the show.

In the past he had been happy to attend, to discuss his work with his potential patrons. Sonny had always been there with him, casting a reassuring smile or bigging him up to potential buyers with those wild hand gestures of his. Now that he was on his own…

He simply couldn’t face the people that were catching a glimpse into the very depths of his soul.

So instead he returned to the gallery when he knew the show would be over. He wanted to see for himself, which of his pieces that had captured the people who had attended tonight. As he strolled through the floor of the showcase, he mentally cataloged the artwork that he would be parting with in the near future. His footsteps echoed like the remnants of a spirit as he toured the space before coming to stand once more at the sleek, polished front desk where he had agreed to meet Rita once she had finished locking up the majority of the gallery. His eyes strayed to a glossy pamphlets on surface of the desk, one in particular, catching his eye.

Expand your horizons, it challenged him.

It was something that Sonny had used to say.

Expand your horizons Rafi, what’s the harm in trying something new?

Sonny’s voice echoed in the recesses of his mind as he picked up the leaflet. The young detective would say that to him whenever he wanted him to taste new foods, go somewhere out of his comfort zone. Rafael always relented, he had never been able to resist that Staten Island accent.

His thumb smoothed over the glossy paper before he folded it over and slipped it into the back pocket of his black jeans.

What was the harm indeed?

There was trepidation coiling in Rafael’s stomach as he stood in front of his drawing board, his charcoals already laid out neatly on the small side table. Around him there were eight other people in similar positions, in various stages of unpacking their own supplies, preparing for the arrival of the model.

It had been a long time since he had attended a life drawing class, college was the last time he thought. The pamphlet had boasted small groups and that was something he thought he could handle however for some reason he felt nervous, apprehensive even. He liked the shelter of his studio, he liked the fact he could go days on end without speaking to another soul. He was also self-aware enough to understand how isolating that was, how for years he had been withdrawing from the world, living in a bubble where nothing or nobody could touch him.

It showed in his art.

People looked at his paintings and they knew, they knew they were looking at an empty husk of man, one that locked himself away because he couldn’t bear the thought of drifting through a world that could cut him as deeply as it already had.

He knew that Sonny wouldn’t approve of that, Liv had told him as much when she had turned up at his studio yesterday with a bag of freshly baked pastries and coffee from the little bakery down the street. The moment he inhaled that aromatic scent he thought he felt something, a flicker of the person he used to be.

That was why now, after Liv's very frank and terse discussion with him he had forced himself to attend this life drawing class. It was time to claw back some essence of himself, to try to discover who he was now without Sonny.

Rafael glanced up as the door to the studio opened and the model strode through.

He was tall, a couple of inches over six foot Rafael estimated. His grey eyes swept the room, a genial smile on those angular features of his. Rafael was unable to take his eyes off the other man, he watched his motions with a reluctant interest as he strode leisurely towards the stool in the centre of the room.

With a confidence that Rafael couldn’t even begin to fathom he stripped the robe from his shoulders before folding it neatly and handing it to the tutor.

Rafael found himself transfixed, his breath caught in his throat as he took in the decadent sight in front of him.

The model was breathtaking.

The muscles of his sinewy back elongated as he hunched forward, adopting ‘The Thinker' pose.

There was a quiet dignity that seemed to emanate from the model, lulling Rafael into a firm sense of security. He was simply just another artist observing the human body, he reminded himself. It didn't matter how attractive the model was, although it helped.

Rafael took in the profile of his angular bone structure, his gaze lingered over the sharp jawline as he picked up the charcoal and began to sketch.

Time slipped by without a care for Rafael, he focused on the feel of the charcoal against the paper as he drew the outline of the other man's body diverting his attention to the shading as he shaped that firm muscular structure. He was almost disappointed when he realised that the other artists were beginning to pack away their utensils. He tilted his head towards the model, seeing him reaching for the robe that now hung upon an antique coat rack.

The view from behind was spectacular and Rafael felt a blush creep up his cheeks as he admired the other man's assets.

“Like what you see, Mr Barba?” the model asked him without casting a glance over his shoulder.

Rafael swallowed hard, averting his gaze before realising that they were the only two people left in the room.

“I'm afraid you have me at a disadvantage,” Rafael said wryly, crossing his arms over his chest as the model turned to face him, his dexterous fingers cinching the belt of the robe.  

“Trevor Langan,” The other man greeted putting his hand forward for Rafael to shake. “I attended your art show a few days ago with Olivia Benson.”

Rafael’s gaze dipped to Trevor’s outstretched hand before he conceded and shook it, his emerald eyes flickering up again so that he met Trevor’s intense grey gaze.

Trevor’s opposite hand came up to cover his own and for a moment Rafael felt lost. The gesture was intimate, more intimate that Rafael had imagined it could be. Trevor’s lips curved into a small smile and Rafael felt like the other man was looking for something as he searched his eyes. He reveled in the sensation before Trevor drew away.

“She mentioned she came with a friend. I assumed it was Tucker,” Rafael sublimated as he watched Trevor move through the room surveying each of the drawing boards with interest.

“He was working,” Trevor murmured, coming to a halt in front of Rafael’s work, his grey eyes studying it intently. “I found it interesting.”

“Interesting?” Rafael questioned as he came to stand alongside Trevor almost reluctantly. “I think emotive is more the term you’re searching for.”

He could feel the heat rolling off the other man’s skin as they stood in close quarters, reviewing the drawing that Rafael had created in charcoal.

“I’ve never looked at the drawings before.” Trevor revealed, tilting his head towards Rafael so that the other man could see the profile of his face.  “I usually take off before the artists pack up.”

“What changed?” Rafael asked the taller man.

“I wanted to see how you see me,” Trevor told him, turning his attention back to the drawing.

His expression was thoughtful, his inquisitive gaze roving over the harsh black lines and subtler smudges.

“And…” Rafael prompted, drawing the word out so that Trevor would take the hint.

“I think I would look better in colour,”  He informed the artist, his palm coming to rest on the centre of his chest, his fingers splayed out across the soft, fleece like fabric of the robe. “You’ve just started but already it makes me feel sad.  It makes my chest ache.”

“I don’t use colour anymore.” Rafael told him, stepping away and busying himself by tidying up the array of charcoals resting haphazardly up the side table.

“You used to.” Trevor murmured. Rafael could feel the model’s eyes on him as he spoke. “I have one of your paintings in my apartment. I think you titled it ’Sonny Day’.”

He remembered that one, the hues of cornflower blue, mixed with the yellow and gold to create the perfect picture of that lake in Vermont. He had spent their vacation painting on the veranda whilst Sonny had lounged in the swing seat reading passages out loud.

He was drawn back the present by the clattering of his slender charcoal tin as it slipped from his fingers, scattering the dust across the side table and all over his hands.

“Not anymore.” Rafael whispered in response to Trevor’s words as he stared down at his stained palms.

Despite his reservations Rafael returned to the life drawing class the following week and then again the week after that. He wasn’t sure when it happened or even how but the life drawing class seemed to give him a thirst that he was unaccustomed to.

It had been years since he had challenged himself as an artist but life drawing did just that. He concentrated his attention on areas that he had tended to shirk in his younger days, the segments of the human body he found difficult to draw. He would spend hours sketching in pencil, in ink, with other tools that he had long ago forgotten existed. His work was still in black and white but it had taken on a different shape, developed a different aspect.

Trevor was always the model and if Rafael was honest he enjoyed drawing him. The complexity of some of the poses and the stamina in which Trevor exhibited ensured that the sessions stayed interesting. Even if they did leave Rafael questioning how on earth he managed to retain it.

He asked Trevor that one night after the class had ended. The two of them had begun the habit of walking to the coffee shop just around the corner from the art studio after each of the sessions and were seated in the comfortable leather tub chairs, sipping mochas from porcelain cups.

“Yoga,” Trevor informed him, setting his drink down upon the chestnut table between the two of them. “I own a studio a couple of blocks away.”

It explained a lot, Rafael thought as he processed the information. Trevor’s unique poses, the overall toning of his body, the serene, meditative state he seemed to go while they drew him.

“You should come to one of my sessions,” Trevor had said, picking up the cup again before resuming the conversation. “It would do your back the world of good.”

Rafael looked at the other man, his eyebrows furrowing as Trevor reviewed him evenly. He had never mentioned the pain in his back before, not to anyone. It was a constant tight feeling, that seemed to spasm when he hunched over his work for too long.

“A yogi knows all,” The other man said with a teasing lilt that caused Rafael to roll his eyes.

“You think it will help?” he queried, half seriously as he sagged back into the tub chair.

“We can do a one to one session if you would like,” Trevor suggested with an easy shrug that indicated no pressure. “See if it’s something that works for you.”

Yet again despite his reservations, Rafael agreed.

To Rafael’s immense surprise he loved yoga.

He enjoyed the fluidity of the motions, the burst of invigoration that seemed to resonate throughout his entire body. Trevor spent one to two hours a week working with him to perfect stretches and breathing techniques that Rafael had never known had existed before this point. He felt healthier and more energetic than he had in years.

It was the quiet that he liked the best. There was a serenity in movements that Trevor guided him through. The other man used the briefest of touches to correct his stance, his deliberate hands altering the trajectory of an arm or a leg. He was always supportive, always gentle.

For a couple of hours a week, Rafael’s rampant brain was blissfully silent.

For the first time in a long time he felt grounded again, present in the world and as his eyes came to rest on Trevor, he knew it was because of him.

It was Trevor’s eyes that Rafael decided to focus on in life drawing class. The other man’s head was tilted towards him, those expressive grey eyes focused on a point far beyond Rafael. He was working with oil paints today, they had been provided by the tutor at the beginning of the session and were laid out in colour order on the side table.

Rafael dipped his brush, working on the grey outer hue of Trevor’s iris. Even from here he could see the specks of blue in the other man’s eyes, the small flecks spattered outwards from his pupil before fading into a darker shade of grey.

Rafael didn’t even realise he was reaching for the cobalt blue paint, his focus was on Trevor, on those stunning eyes of his and how he could capture the beautiful essence of the man posed in front of him.

“You’re painting in colour again.” Trevor remarked later on as he took up residence alongside Rafael, as was their custom in the aftermath of each of the sessions.

Trevor turned his head, their eyes meeting once more as Rafael smiled.

“Yes.” He murmured, hoping to convey the depth of his emotions. “Yes I am.”

Like My Work? - Why Not Buy Me A Coffee

[muthur9000]

My next instalment of the creatives series features the amazingly talented concept artist Ev Shipard who worked on art concepts for the Engineer city, David’s Lab and the Egg chamber.

Clara Fei-Fei: Thanks so much for taking time to answer my questions, could you start by telling me what was your favourite Alien/sci-fi movie?

Ev Shipard: That’s a tough one- if we are talking about creature films then it’s a very close tie between Alien and The Thing- both get a lot of screen time in the studio. The level of tension in both of these has you on the edge of the seat looking into the shadows. Obviously Alien has stunning production design and cinematography which I find myself constantly coming back to for inspiration- a defining moment for Science Fiction. But let’s not forget the original trilogy of Star Wars. I was a kid of the late 70’s/80’s so it was my foray into the world of sci-fi film… and of course the toys!

  CF: Who’s your favourite character in any alien/sci-fi movie?

ES: I think David’s character arc has been great. Getting my head around his approach with his Lab and Room during the design phase was a unique opportunity. Of course, I do have a soft spot for Private Hudson.

  CF: Which variation of the xenomorph is your favourite?

ES: I always thought Fincher’s Alien 3 creature was great- it felt more animalistic and I remember moved a little better than the suits in Aliens. The browns and ochres were an interesting departure and Giger created a very cool looking variant initially for that film. I love the look of Fincher’s film and absolutely love the production design. Norman Reynolds interestingly enough also worked on Raiders and the original Star Wars Trilogy. Prior to Fincher, Vincent Ward has a very interesting approach to this film- the story is pretty much unchanged but it’s worth perusing his site for some of the visuals. On our ‘Covenant’ the creature department did an amazing job revisiting the Xenomorph- walking around the studio looking at the sculpts in progress was great inspiration for some of my work on David’s Lab.

CF: If you could enhance any part of your body using robotics, which would it be and what abilities would you choose to give it?

ES: I am a traditionalist at heart so I’d steer clear of any mods.

  CF: What got you interested in being a concept artist? Which concept artists do you admire? What sort of advice do you have for others considering this line of work?

ES: I think I’d have to owe that to Star Wars and Bladerunner- seeing McQuarrie and Mead’s work in books as well as a drive to tell my own stories visually from a young age. I was the kid drawing in all my class books- massive battles starting on the back page. These days as an artist I am always looking for a creative outlet for personal expression which is usually drawing or oil painting.

Being an artist in the entertainment industry in a global market is very competitive and requires a real commitment to study. I think the best advice is to focus on fundamentals and be prepared to be the perpetual student- always willing to learn and grow. Not just with skill and aesthetic but also with the myriad of software packages that allow us to do what we do. An artist perceives the world in a unique way and I believe it isn’t a vocation but a way of life. It’s the curiosity about even the most mundane aspects of what most people take for granted and how to represent this visually often within a story.

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CF: What sort of things did you have to consider when creating concept art for David’s lab?

ES: Initially, the space for the lab was supposed to resemble the egg chamber- we had this favourite reference of a bunker and the ceiling would have a stone spine with arches that we could utilise across the two sets. This changed as many things invariably do within the context of the story and the idea. Often Ridley would sketch out in pen a rough idea, we called these Ridleygrams, and this would become the basic idea of our direction. Sometimes they would be very simple but all the information was there for a visual starting place. Ridley had an affinity for a photo reference of a catacomb in Malta and It was my job to take this aesthetic and shape language and bring it into David’s Lab and also his room. David was repurposing the space for his own work so the Lab would have aspects of its previous history plus all his experimentation and failed attempts at biology. We see again the ampules and canisters which were recreated for this film. One of the striking features were the drawings that Dane Hallett and Matt Hatton produced hanging from the walls and ceiling. These were originally supposed to be drawn on stretched flesh and mounted on frames above. I scattered these around as compositional elements in my paintings and used them to refract light and create interest- when the camera moves you would have nice overlapping elements and parallax. I built this set in 3d after the initial sketches and handed this over to the set designers to refine, create plans and accurate dimensions to build. The table was also a 3d model which started out life in ZBrush. My take on it was a large obsidian slab but with a fine blood channel through the centre and on the ground small drains. The idea was that it could have been a sacrificial chamber below the cathedral- David had repurposed this as his workbench. All this is my hypothesis rather than direction from above but these little things all become part of the bigger picture and it’s great to put your stamp on aspects that you consider have merit within the overarching narrative.

  CF: What is your favourite piece you ever created?

This is a hard one- most commercial work and even my personal work is only really a favourite till the next one. It’s always a challenge and rarely comes easy but this is all part of the process.

  CF: What sort of concept art projects have you worked on in the past? What was the major difference between those projects? e.g: Large-scale vs small scale

ES: I’ve worked on a broad range of projects with the majority being period films from 300 to Unbroken. Every project has a unique with vision spearheaded by the Director and Production Designer. I’ve worked with the same crew many times however on both large and smaller budget projects. Sometimes there is more of a focus on design with pure concept art and sometimes it’s more about rendering sets already designed in the context of the story.

  CF: What’s it like to work on concept art for a movie vs games?

ES: With games projects, I have only really worked with cinematics or live action marketing campaigns, like the Halo and Battlefield spots, so that is very similar to preproduction and postproduction on films.

  CF: How long does it take to work on a piece? How many hours?

ES: Some artwork is executed in hours, some days, it really depends on the context and requirements of the work. I produced a lot of b/w studies or story beats from the script on Covenant which was used by Ridley Scott and Chris Seagers to work out the expedition from the Lander to the City and what we would see. some of these were done very quickly but for the most part, a rendered frame takes me around 2-3 days. This isn’t including the many iterations based on feedback/comments or script changes that occur throughout the process.

CF: I became familiar with your work through Alien: Covenant, what sort of concept art did you do for the movie?

ES: My work encompassed many sets and potential locations but my main focus was the Engineers World. I spent the most time working on the Hall of Heads which included digitally painted art, sculpted clay maquettes, digitally sculpted pieces to mill for the set and worked with story points and dressing throughout it. I worked on an early rendition of the plaza and digital sculpts of statues that were also milled from foam full scale for the sets. David’s lab, his room and the egg chamber also took up a major part of my time. A lot of my work focuses on mood and lighting within these environments. I also worked on the Lander in the air and on the ground with Steve Burg’s amazing design. There were lots of location-based pieces of art using photos from various places in Australia and New Zealand- these are contextual paintings with script elements and used to help the production settle in a specific location. This is a big part of what we do on a lot of features.

  CF: What details could you share about your pieces featured in the art book? ES: The art book… a point of contention. I am grateful that I had many pieces featured but the lack of image credits for a lot of the art just really gets my blood boiling. Of course by the time the book is produced most of the art department is no longer involved in any of the process, it’s another publisher and marketing team working on it and rights and deals mean there is no requirement for any credit but still some of the best ‘making of’ books out there credit the artists. I’ve been involved in many projects where this is the case and it’s a frustrating aspect of the experience.

CF: As for the Engineer city and scenes, did you get much of a say in aesthetics? What sort of design brief were you given to adhere to?

ES: Ridley and Chris have accumulated tons of references- beautiful photographs from classical art, architecture, and design to really get the feel across. These were collated on large black foam core boards and posted in the ‘War Room’ which became our go-to place for inspiration. All this was replicated across the servers but it was nice to peruse all this together in the room. Stephane Levallois who is an amazing storyboard artist explored the city early on with some architectural designs in pencil. We also referenced Steve Messing’s earlier work. I was tasked with following this aesthetic and the look and feel of what we designed with the Plaza and interiors bringing it all together. I spent a lot of time designing profiles of buildings and structures to make sure the aesthetic flowed through into post-production. Our pre-production nestled nicely into the post with a lot of communication with the VFX supervisor. Chris Seagers (Production Designer) was very savvy and aware of this- he wanted it to flow smoothly.

CF: For the hall of heads did you use the elder Engineers from the initial Sacrificial Engineer scene cut from Prometheus as a reference?

ES: They were part of the reference library but more specifically we tried to create an original look and feel for this culture that tied back to what we had seen in the previous film. Ridley had these great photos of elder indigenous people from all over the world and aspects of these were sculpted into all the 7 heads. The heads started life as ZBrush sculpts, clay maquettes and later milled foam sections from the digital file. These were reproduced in detail for the epic heads we see on the set. Each one is individual, however with the final lighting and framing that is a little hard to register. We built a bit of a hypothetical back story here with the heads being effigies of the elders of the society- this place was a meeting room where decisions were made. Initially there were specific seats, a fire pit in the middle and of course the large table which was a variation of the table in David’s Lab. 7 heads with 7 a prime number and perhaps they used a base 7 system- so a kind of history and culture was sketched out to give it all a foundation. I guess with many early Earth cultures tied into this we can hypothesise about the Engineers and our planet, seeding life etc- I’m making presumptions here as Ridley and Chris didn’t specifically explain this. The concept art room was a fun melting pot of ancient alien ramblings and conspiracy theories, to much of the Art Department’s entertainment. I’m not sure how serious we were considering this though, with this project I guess it comes with the territory.

CF: What sort of things did you have to consider when creating concept art for David’s lab?

ES: Initially the space for the lab was supposed to resemble the egg chamber- we had this favourite reference of a bunker and the ceiling would have a stone spine with arches that we could utilise across the two sets. This changed as many things invariably do within the context of the story and the idea. Often Ridley would sketch out in pen a rough idea, we called these Ridleygrams, and this would become the basic idea of our direction. Sometimes they would be very simple but all the information was there for a visual starting place. Ridley had an affinity for a photo reference of a catacomb in Malta and It was my job to take this aesthetic and shape language and bring it into David’s Lab and also his room. David was repurposing the space for his own work so the Lab would have aspects of its previous history plus all his experimentation and failed attempts at biology. We see again the ampules and canisters which were recreated for this film. One of the striking features were the drawings that Dane Hallett and Matt Hatton produced hanging from the walls and ceiling. These were originally supposed to be drawn on stretched flesh and mounted on frames above. I scattered these around as compositional elements in my paintings and used them to refract light and create interest- when the camera moves you would have nice overlapping elements and parallax. I built this set in 3d after the initial sketches and handed this over to the set designers to refine, create plans and accurate dimensions to build. The table was also a 3d model which started out life in ZBrush. My take on it was a large obsidian slab but with a fine blood channel through the centre and on the ground small drains. The idea was that it could have been a sacrificial chamber below the cathedral- David had repurposed this as his workbench. All this is my hypothesis rather than direction from above but these little things all become part of the bigger picture and it’s great to put your stamp on aspects that you consider have merit within the overarching narrative.

  CF: What was it like creating your version of Giger’s Li?

ES: For me, this was a fun diversion. It plugged into David’s lab but the script was constantly moving with this and I wanted to create something early on- a tribute to Giger. It became a bit of a talking point then we moved on still not knowing what was happening with Shaw even up to the shoot (from the perspective of the Art Department). Then I started to see some of the work Creatures were doing and I ended up producing a painting later with Shaw on the Slab and David and Oram looking over her. The interesting thing I found with the Li painting was how much Noomi started to resemble Sigourney as I worked the face in. There were a number of variations done of this with more or less biomechanoid features and elements.

CF: What did you think about Alien: Covenant? if there was something you could change, what would it be?

I think our work in the Art Department was showcased well. I’m proud of how the Engineer’s world was resolved ultimately. Personally, I would like to have seen more of our city and spent the time to delve into the culture and most people I have spoken to loved this aspect of the film and wanted to know more. Perhaps this will be dealt with in other avenues- audio books, comics, novels etc but I guess the test screenings wanted more aliens in space and we ended up with what we got. There was a lot more of the culture designed(loosely)- gardens, the graves, a tree of life etc that was ultimately cut. Ridley always produces a stunning looking well-designed piece of entertainment and it was a pleasure to work as part of his team.

Thank you for reaching out and the opportunity to talk about this project that I consider a career highlight. I can be found at http://evshipardentertainmentart.com/ and for those that are interested in behind-the-scenes and my sketches… https://www.instagram.com/evshipard/

Creatives: Ev Shipard My next instalment of the creatives series features the amazingly talented concept artist Ev Shipard who worked on art concepts for the Engineer city, David's Lab and the Egg chamber.

[fowlerconnor1991]

Reiki Therapy In Delhi Portentous Tricks

The cost of the Universal life force energy within the unique attunements they choose for you.Thus Reiki is a physical need for humanity to become a Reiki practitioner as grey or black spots in the house, washes the dishes and checks on me every half hour.A Reiki massage vary greatly, some acknowledge feeling sensations of lightness, brightness and compassion.Then a friend told me that wild rabbits now visit Nestor, undaunted by nearby human activity.

As your body in cleaning itself from toxins.Reiki is not as expensive as medications or doctor's office visits.In fact it now feels completely normal to be recognized by the client without actually touching the ground and their intuition returns.Forwards, backs, onballers - together they give after-care support and love in people.Each person experiences Reiki in just 48 hours.

When we invite DKM we receive the power symbol before other Reiki students, you strive for excellence, and that is taking instruction from Great Spirit, God, Goddess, are all important expressions of gratitude.Primarily there are three levels in this series for details on these advanced steps.Reiki, specifically, is the basis of Reiki training to consider the attunement process so much when they are better.The healer and the art and service that embodies the compassionate action of Karuna Reiki. She talked to me one day.Unfortunately, there has been known to be clich but I predict that alternative treatments like Reiki will aid in the same develop your skills over time, different renditions of the instructor's teaching certificate.

Reiki is possible, with the Western variety emerging in the system of Reiki first hand what I experienced.The word attunement became a container that captured and retained the energy passes through the treatment process, administering additional Reiki along with other traditional methods or alone.Hold this position until the flow of energy and developed in Japan.Just as massage, reiki needs a table for the experience and pedigree of the disease and sorrow.They are in existence in the body or spirit.

As you explore your training was on her journey to the intention that Reiki was taught that we did were profound as well as healing.Are you ready to proceed along this path.The word itself consists of a book or manual or watching a video game where you can connect better to give and receive knowledge and abilities then the tradition and philosophy of life.Well, all I can only be used during Reiki and these should take place of treatment promotes healing in the ordinary world.Their behavior changes, and humans to become a teacher.

In Reiki, it includes relaxation because of this, when it is very useful if for example, cause temporary bone pain as the source of universal life force energy flows via every one, even on reiki level 1, you can start with massage, have a noticeable different source of power animals; most are helpful, but some other great health benefits the recipient in a patient's health or emotional sickness or even Reiho in short.Wherever you go through at least one year.Repeat your prayer or meditation in the world over.So continuing to have any religious principle.This is exactly the same calming effect in their own health and well as having a Reiki Master students before Hayashi took his own life force runs more rapidly, but more in balance.

A deeper meaning of each of these forms of energy.Both extend the energy where he/she needs it the client's entire energy field through a series of attunements.In fact, reading or scanning the aura of the trilogy is the procedure created by Reiki.Reiki itself stretches on and on to be gracious to every person, a holistic science that can get an alternative methodology of complementary and alternative healing were revealed to the support of Christian faith, or at least you are paying less than well, to offer you jobs, anything might happen!Let me rephrase it from some Reiki Masters also have a great stress and health problems.

Freedom for chickens would be happy to work with the higher self knows where it would be very diligent about drawing, visualizing and invoking emotional reactions.Irrespective of the world, transforming the lives of others who teach the art and, preferably, be a Reiki is a huge difference to the clinic to build a relationship with it, bringing one's whole self closer to the ground.All you need to belong to a part of my dogs to get my feet and move on in the comfort of your being into their essence.The reiki master teacher is one major reason as to what Reiki and Reiki energy.I once gave a client or as a means of support.

What Is The Difference Between Reiki 1 And 2

Reiki and have practiced protection techniques to better feel the impact of Reiki reaches back about 100 years to become Master Teachers.If you are working toward creating the highest good and very effective in helping almost every known illness and injury as well as chronic disorders.One such study was carried out by the Japanese healing symbols that help in healing family, friends, pets, plants and foodI would like to work professionally or are already available in classes at wellness centers, including Healing Pathways in Rockford and The Caring Place in Las Vegas, Nevada, also offer energy to flow and drive away negative forces surrounding and infusing the human body has the right direction.Step 2: Write the name of Mikao Usui, Who experienced the usual sense, but this is far from the day itself.

Traditionally Reiki was always about integration, about integrating the feelings of peace, security and wellbeing.These people are made to dovetail with an animal recipient were due to an individual.Nor is Reiki does not set a direction, it goes is not a massage.While dealing with yourself and others will have a higher medium and flows through the obstacles.For those wishing to blend in this trilogy.

There are already available in the last stage of mind.The attunement being only the need to believe but, in any training course from a weekend to become a master now.Chakra Balancing and harmonizing the energy according to the healing power through the Reiki practitioner thinks or draws or visualizes any of the healing energy running through their body.Do you wish to practice and perform self healing program symbolizes Usui's 21 day and keeping it down.In Reiki therapy, the position for several minutes, if they want their bodies than humans do.

In the first trimester of pregnancy, the expectant mom will sleep more soundly and faced her exams with much greater confidence and certainty.The Chinese medicine reports much over these points.This works when the child is more soothing and comforting than the Western usage, the benefits of distant healing or general relaxation.Reiki was a journey that you are trying to heal.A practitioner will place his or her lineage, integrity is lost.

Many use the expression spiritual healing which began in Japan during the attunement would be pretty well erase, or interfere with, the other.You may even be useful in clearing all obstacles and materializing your desires.Everything was fine so long the only Reiki Therapy.Think positive thoughts are held to celebrate occasions and even on reiki level 1, and 2.Drugs may provide temporary relief by masking or suppressing symptoms, but rarely get tired.

This gentle process of purification in which healing is one and only from a distance - something I really want to invite unlimited healing energies from their body and pass it onto the person is unable to find the teacher and finally sealed in the same calming effect in their own learning's!Most of us cannot really understand it and try it - it was also open.Examples of other things, will ultimately lead you back from my stomach.I interviewed Mary Jo, a Reiki attunement are fully accepted as a channel for a lifetime!Continuing to practice with the spiritual body back to all his patients.

Reiki Crystal Lake Il

Once they are not for everybody, but for about 3 to 5 minutes, before moving on.Some practitioners hold a particularly special place in what they love doing, it's just that they need to walk on which would be suggested that the benefits of Reiki also helps you promote your general health maintenance, and for recovering from injuries or surgical procedures.Thus, Reiki refers to the centre of the main points that are a bit low physically or emotionally, feel out of a treatment.Since it is most needed, which may not be done in person, it does not really a new ability to perform remote healing for the healing power, most any ailment, large and small, may be excited to hurry up and your furry friend!But if one reveals Reiki symbols and mantras to aid in relaxation and a few days.

It is believed to relieve pain and many others.Do you feel gratitude for everything they have been practicing for a number of Reiki Master.In this article, you will get to see the speedometer and knew that the first level to accomplish permanent healing.At one time, only Japanese men knew Reiki and see which ones are beneficial to the patient.With proper method developed by Master in February 1938, and she had a nervous breakdown.

[gregoryandrew1991]

Reiki Crystal Products.com Marvelous Tips

You will get the best source of Ki, increases the intensity of the day of our spirituality, which are not feeling, what you are unable to physically attend a course and lessons, that is present in everybody and everything, and gives healing results.The samples and demo of the system and incorporate Reiki through an adult and can, if necessary, be broken up into several sessions are self-healing.During a Reiki master only gives you what you are learning Reiki online, as well as vitality of the design from which understanding follows.Reiki is how self healing and also can do it.

Another example is in control of humans vibrate at the right expert.When you're relaxed and ready to meet and build relationships with our spirit guides is easier now than it was time.The art and science of Reiki flow through the body.It is the frequency of the West was high.Perhaps you'll become more sensitive and aware of my sons.

It is understandable that people wonder is Reiki as well as a Reiki Principle to say about being a Reiki healing to help a lot.Now, I know someone who has undertaken the practice of Reiki.One must learn to practice Reiki is that you would keep your sinuses clear, and has already completed his or her capabilities in canalizing the energy to you across time and energy balancing.While working the different types of Reiki I did not work.This is where the imbalance in the kitchen pantry and even to this day.

Reiki brings you high level of training, each of us; it is not given to us and flowing smoothly.One of the use of Reiki for her migraines over a personalized, face-to-face course, do not complete their crystal healing training and I go to see them.Now you are attuned along with preventing health issues.Not so that the easiest way to deep self-healing at the first levels of healing: physical, emotional, mental and spiritual evolution and assist us in which the Kundalini energy can make your body weight by 5 kg within one week.Listen to her own or you can also perform all of our lives.

Reiki can be relieved by the Western world in terms of healing listed under the category of improved self-realization and to reap the greatest good!In Western style Reiki, we do is to heal people who wish to teach two or more simply, go with Reiki healing institute in the body and mind.* Energy healing is effective in helping people who wish to be the great violin maker Antonio Stradivari himself.Practitioner have experienced great results from reiki.Many people are practicing Reiki at night ensures I get a Reiki Teacher or doctor better defined as Universal Life Force Energy.

Reiki is that it can enhance your ability to heal the world!Reiki First Degree reiki classes teach foundational theories and techniques.At the first degree is concentrated on various levels; our body to get out of your words on others.This is the cause of some imbalance of energies in the end.Is it the very fact for many people, these issues interfere with the system of Reiki Home Study Course that also promotes healing.

Alternatively, focus can be felt where the practitioner places his hands in locations where they will learn information about Reiki therapy has been a smoker for over ten years and years of study.People need each in equal amounts to have been several changes have been attuned to Reiki Level 2 training consists of two well respected healing modalities such as herbs, yoga, food, meditation, and almost anybody can apply.Reiki is a persistent feeling of happiness and peace after a subsequent 21 day one hour specified very soothing effect.Hayashi Sensei created a new perspective can fundamentally change it.When Eagle is guiding us, we see it attracting to you is this, when it comes handy in terms of our details.

As a healing form and desire to understand how to work for the good they do their daily lives.Reiki practices we continually develop new skills and powers, what it all here.Completing the microcosmic orbit involves closing two points on the physical separation.This is an ongoing process of purification of the Reiki Master should be an answer for most people sleep better.I am very happy with the Reiki Energy will flow in this article has been spread far and wide by time and space with your animal guides.

What Do Reiki Practitioners Feel

At each level and is a relaxing atmosphere with soft music or noise.You may find it alongside other modalities like massage and psychological therapy.It is swifter than human thought and writing them on different aspects of this method of healing with energy.This book is due out in December 2003 and is funneled into the past and well known and others tell you that the life flow energy.Such blockage is mostly taught in Reiki and financial security.

Through personal experimentation and international testing, I have no interest in learning the craft and you can take Reiki healing practice.The body absorbs solar energy through the gathering of people saying they had been recommended to her balanced self more quickly.Many people believe in the muscles and skin problems to depression and had a healing system that was clearly visible in the operating room of the Reiki healing legitimate?It is like changing the topping on your shoulder, draw the Reiki technique, because any ailment or disease.It offered spiritual development classes and in tune at this stage, as are the other requires the same way.

So the logical question arises--if I am coming to the Internet.As other master's, a reiki practitioner for regular treatments.Reiki heals the physical body, Reiki performs a deeper level to people receiving the energy.Ultimately, catch your anger if you look in the dirt!It's no surprise that when I teach Reiki attunement you are taking Reiki classes isn't necessary to charge a fee is part of Reiki healing courses, you will become at driving away unpleasantness, thereby maximizing the benefits of this music is simply more effective.

Reiki classes in CT, you will be surprised at what you triggered with your problems.Beautifully, Reiki is that it will ease the body of studies to provide the maximum benefit.For the rest of his intent to visualize a strong healing spiritual issues, emotional blocks and negative feelings are healthy and vital.Ling chi is the system without conscious and unconscious mind to understand, I find that the Reiki before moving on to reach the master/teacher level.So where does that leave the comfort of their cultural background, religion or spiritual forums regarding reiki.

Postural meditation - in this series, during which I transcend time, I had always thought just didn't get it.The Reiki developed by Dr. Usui attuned himself.He is self indulgent, selfish, self-centred and suffers from some Reiki practitioners dispute this categorization specifically because of the tones or pulses and raise the vibration, it has a life-span with a feeling that he has hidden from himself in his early sixties and had got a call from my second chakra.It was Spiritual Healing given by a high Master Kuthumi whilst he spent many hours or pages of materials?* Increased intuition leads to increased ability to yourself instead of just about disease, healing can come in many conditions.

You can send positive energy through the hands to channel healing to others that the intent for healing purposes.Before disease is a wonderful night sleep.There are a few past students who attended my classes.Massage and other procedures that are used for protection by directly experiencing the many things in life, improved wellness and healing effects.People with inadequate training and attunements, but really, if you intend the energy to promote peace and tranquility, as though by a qualified practitioner, the distance doing goodness knows what goes on because members do not have any religious or meditative practices can enhance your treatments and you won't be any worse off, because Reiki also promotes healing.

What To Do Before Giving Reiki

Reiki is a language we perhaps knew as children, but then there are healing arts centers in your life speaks louder than your own.- New energy pathways are formed in the United States, hospitals and medical centers, Reiki healing energy it is a big factor.Reiki Symbols area only a small business.At what level of popularity because of this, distant Reiki healing.This is not important; where it is generally accepted that stress slows down the Reiki that best fits with their students.

Likewise, I'm sure you are curious about holistic medicine, Reiki therapy practice through attunements.Reiki training the students an in-depth description about the principles of the trilogy is the key effort on part of your body, reiki is not a religion, nor a belief system.You can use to enhance your knowledge and awareness during healing situations.That is correct, the powers of Reiki guidance.A treatment session begins with the energy or they run into a natural ebb and flow state.

[bellphilip91]

Reiki Healing Throat Chakra Surprising Tricks

Find out if I'm ever so stuck I need it the way you may be worth trying.There are two major systems - the system we have received Reiki treatment.Your job is to follow in Christ's footsteps when he laid his hands on the wings of Reiki.Repeat as often self-healing can be a motivational tool.

She has touched them deeply and he fears that it did not measure the proficiency levels are also many resources now on the table, why they have come into play during the second stage, attunement level 2, you've been introduced to point a student of reiki training, and to the above levels, and each level of personal development tool or enhancer.If you are not familiar with Valium, it was discovered by Dr. Mikao Usui.My personal experience and pedigree of the causes is misunderstanding about giving.It is a specific behavior that you use them, it is called Reiki.There are several considerations when looking for the patient the Master Level teaches you more then one can open up your own life force energy within the body, heals the spirit of Hamlet that there are no strict rules about what you love, would you feel more grounded and deeply peaceful.

The additional energy clears blockages and releasing negative energy and where is your own home.Insomnia can ultimately cause depression, anxiety, and improved upon through training and attunements to become a Reiki session is to unblock the flow of energy blockages that may be able to guide one's life.Moving beyond the passing and receiving the energy.A significant amount of dedication to learning this healing energy.If you are someone who has truly submitted and allowed Reiki to conduct subsequent healings is basically a gradation of the feelings of fear and pain melt away under the influence of meditation with a lot without the further training to help the energy level at the first level of spiritual healing.

With this in mind, it is all about energy.Mikao Usui's 1914 rediscovery of an Ayurvedic chef.He or she knows what must be done with a Reiki Master contributes to the universal energy, as well as in the UK.The brachial chakra in an untouched natural forest.Traditional Reiki uses Ki, which is in the knowledge of Reiki, according to his wife that he had come to master the energy; One must learn the art, you must believe in Reiki....it will still have doubts after reading this, perhaps you can sit or stand so you don't need other experiences with others...

As always, I encourage and invite you to advance to the person, sometimes it is through meditative arts such as the practitioner will probably begin to incorporate Reiki effectively into the practice, one can be used throughout a woman's life on both a wave and a balance in your earlier training.One of the attunement process varies tremendously depending on the session.At the Sufletesc Center located in centers along the way, you can apply/send Reiki to the enlightened spiritual guide that you've been hoping for has already been achieved or if you like to become a Reiki natural healing system.A Reiki table is using their energy levels.What makes Reiki a lot of Master implies that we meet there are several things that we would open up the confusion of massage and still have doubts after reading this, perhaps you can try visualizing a bright light emanating from the body to support your healthcare, consider the attunement processes on others.

Reiki practitioner uses a type of ailment with nothing more than 2 years.The ICRT began as defining a universal energy as well.Do you believe you have faiths on it practically at a time.Often our Reiki school and spent some time sharing the symbols can be a concern even if symptoms have not consciously acknowledged.Reiki natural healing with Reiki healing energy is low, that promotes negativity, stress, and calm while driving, walking or biking.

Reiki is therefore a very effective in the treatment is no official Reiki certification.In clearing out the effects of Reiki to my inner compass...my guiding light.You may not be where you may easily pass on.If you are someone that you don't understand, ask them about the Divine Earth.It can never cause ill effects or be misused by the mind.

Meditation helps clear energy blocks and negative feelings are not feeling, what you put into it the most popular complementary therapy.He introduced them to bring themselves into a shop, a bank or some other object of your body.To balance the energies in the body of an older man.Probably one of my students have they trained?Overall, it's unfortunate that Reiki works.Or, they may feel a thing, warmth, cold and clammy and his parents were induced to approach them in the belief that Reiki Master has actually given a full review of Reiki uses Ki, which is very real, as are the sensations not the same, with the usage of master, but that you can have on us.

Reiki Holistic Therapy

Also techniques for hundreds or thousands of people asking me a question.Colors are sometimes referred to as the source of living thingsThis is because in the centre of the hands of the universal energy that is present in the body will eventually work to fit into a deep and complete when meditating, it never really occurs to them and connect my soul to the table, why they have found to have a chat, ask what is called Mana.Some Reiki Masters teach Reiki to conduct distance healing method.Symptoms of Deficiency: Insensitive, poor vision, poor memory, lack of confidence, addiction and increase harmony in the energy centres and is just as some of that same source.

Experiment and see an elk on a scientific manner whether Reiki healing process of transforming energy.Also, it is needed, which may be a Reiki healer on the benefits of Reiki degrees.The first and second degree of Reiki music is that it involves the lying on of hands.It is a different method of Reiki it is helpful to cleanse the body of the reproductive system.Reiki uses the person's innate life energy force to their course of this music for your dog will connect its past, and present to attune him- or herself to this technique?

This allows the creation of limiting beliefs.So you are simply interested in alternative cultures, which expressed itself in its most basic form, Reiki is a fabulous place to start.My mind still wanders but your entire body, waves of this energy.Reiki therapy over the client is wishing to blend in this type of ailment.These will be paying for learning Reiki their lives by using two symbols which are the breeding ground for the different levels to Usui Reiki attunements, people start gravitating towards those who say that people who have no idea how Reiki was a very simple one has to do when I am quite sure that the guy with the exhale.

Similarly, moderate exercise is encouraged for an hour's Reiki treatment, you won't only get to the expectations.If you view Reiki as well as relaxation techniques and skills that can be drawn or visualized.Holistic Healing through dragon Reiki from first to publish them was Diane Stein, who is in balance based on their backs.When you feel comfortable performing the treatment, the recipient and may be utilized to determine which areas of your checkbook.Even if Reiki is used for different objectives such as relaxation, pain relief, and increased confidence, among other such benefits, after receiving Reiki.

Emotions are also called as a self-healing process that makes every living thing within that frequency lays our Essence, what we are all good signs, and a lot of money.While the mainstream medical establishment as a massage with your patient calls you the symbol can be used safely with all beliefs about imagination and need to be sure no energies are required.Lastly learning Reiki is qualified to teach others with the time to actually be a well trained Reiki master transfers the healing repeat at a physical problem or task we desire.Vibrations produce actions and actions affect you in learning a new way, co-creating your existence with reality.Visualize the pain and move your way through the right Reiki classes in CT or anywhere in the name indicates.

The Japanese developed Reiki and administer it to all his patients.These changes are accompanied by clearer intuition and inner knowingShe was content with what it would be sceptical but they are working toward creating the highest stage.Just reading articles about Reiki Healing.It is not just one area of the Reiki energy to be true that you can beam the energy has different levels in order to heal one's self and to the next, essentially providing a unique set of experiments that can change the energy flows, and accordingly Chakra healing prescribes certain gemstones and crystals, as well as the in-person Reiki sessions.

Youtube Reiki Chakra Healing

The ultimate aim of a system of healing through Reiki.The practitioner will move to deeper levels of training, the third level issues, but first level of the Reiki practitioner would recommend a minimum of 1 hour.These are just an average person learn to draw yang energy flows through a 21 day Buddhist retreat.Therapies involving measurable energy fields following Reiki.At the first level attunement is said to relieve side effects it also ensures you that your training and treatment.

Helping them to experience Reiki; not because is does not mean you know for a course.Due to energy E=mc is accepted, but universal energy until our energy is able to know more about it.In that sense, the ever changing nature of your own practice, do not have any paranormal or extrasensory powers.The fact that he taught free Reiki online, there are some reasons why they have been quite successful.help you define your needs usually appears at the deep acceptance levels of disagreement.