#as I kid I was always captivated by how much a manga could express with only black ink so it was fun

[re-reclass]

I like to imagine Krillin is Vegeta's closest friend outside of fighting. Neither of them have realized it.

[backtobackbakubabe]

Speak Easy Part 4

Bakugo x Reader, Dabi x Reader

Words : 5206

Masterlist

Reader has a siren quirk and has spent the past several years of her life as a captive being experimented on by “heroes” Now that she’s out she needs protection and safe place to heal. Who will be the one to put her pieces back together?

Words with ‘this’ is dialogue written in her journal rather than said out loud and and words with ~this~ is dialogue said in sign language rather than out loud.

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Dabi’s frustration only grew when he saw your excited expression. All the sudden all he could think of was the was the way that Bakubrat had kissed the top of your head the last time he had seen you.

Dabi readjusted you so you were on his back and put his hands firmly on your thighs. He’ll admit he’s being ridiculous, but he wanted to keep you out of reach from the explosive idiot.

You were practically buzzing with excitement. You had missed your friends. Even though you had seen them a few weeks ago, it wasn’t nearly good enough, you felt like you didn’t have enough time to actually thank them for saving you. You had known all of them from high school except you had known Katsuki and Izuku much longer. You all had known each other since you were kids. Katsuki was always the one pulling your pigtails while Izuku was always the one to let you paint his fingernails.

That mentality pretty much stayed the same as you all got older. Katsuki would still relentlessly tease you but he was always much meaner to any of the guys who hit on you. There was a rumor that went around that your quirk made you super good in bed and it had every guy chasing after you for the wrong reasons. He never hesitated to hit first and ask questions later when men cat called you in his presence.

Katsuki had always had a very special place in your heart. He had always been your protector as well as your biggest supporter. There were so many times he and Izuku had talked you out of quitting school. Every so often an article would circulate about how villainous your quirk was and how you deserved to be locked up. The pressure would eventually get to you and you would end up in one of their rooms pacing and holding back tears. They helped you learn to love your quirk, but Katsuki was the one who secretly worked with you on weekends to help you get stronger. He thought if he showed you that you were more than just your quirk you would finally stop listening to all the fucking gossip blogs.

You kept bouncing with excitement the entire time Dabi walked towards the front door. He paused a few steps away and gave your thigh a sharp slap. “Hey, quit that. If you keep bouncing like that, I’m going to drop you. Behave.”

You wondered what crawled up his ass. He was just praising you a few minutes ago and now he’s grumpy. There’s no way he could be that mad about Katsuki coming to visit. He knew this was going to happen. He was holding you when Katsuki promised as much. You understood that he didn’t really get along with most people, and Katsuki was honestly kind of hard to get along with in the first place. But that still didn’t give him the right to be so pissed about him being here.

Dabi opened the door but remained in the doorway, effectively blocking Katsuki from entering. “Can we help you?”

Katsuki had a duffle bag on his shoulder as well as a box at his feet. “You could start by letting me in asshole.” He looked at you and his scowl softened just slightly, “Hey dork. Think you could convince your chauffeur to get out of the way?”

You giggled and gave Dabi’s neck a pinch. Dabi responded by giving your thigh a pinch, “Eye for an eye brat. You want me to let him in? I think I deserve an entrance fee?” He pointed towards his cheek as if he was asking for a kiss.

Katsuki’s eyes traveled from where Dabi’s hand was firmly squeezing your thigh to where he was pointing at his cheek. They were furious. He was about to just shove his was through when you wrapped your arms tight around Dabi’s neck and leaned backwards. Effectively throwing his body weight off and giving Katsuki more than enough room to enter the house.

He quickly let himself in and made his way over to the couch where he dumped the box he was holding. “Alright so here’s your first care package.”

“Don’t see why it needed to hand delivered…” Dabi dropped you on the couch next to the box so you could rummage through it.

Katsuki quickly took the empty spot next to you, totally ignoring Dabi. “I brought you a couple new manga that I know you’ll like, and I think Deku added a bunch of pictures and shit from your old apartment.” He reached over you into the box and pulled out a shirt and you grinned ear to ear. It was an old All Might shirt that you had stolen from Katsuki years ago because you liked how soft it was.

He smiled and put his arm around you, “I thought you might like that. I hope you don’t mind I’ve been wearing it in your absence. So, it might smell like me.”

Dabi walked by grabbing Katsuki’s arm and casually flung it off your shoulder. Then without a word started going through the box. “Did you remember the bathing suit?”

You could hear Katsuki’s palm’s crackle with irritation, “Yes… I did. But don’t get your pervy hopes up. I got the most conservative one I could find.” There he goes being overprotective for no reason… well that wasn’t exactly fair he did have a reason. He had just found you in the most horrendous condition possible and immediately had to hand you off to a former villain who kidnapped him in his youth… so yeah. You decided you were going to cut him some slack.

“Well considering it’s for her fucking rehabilitation…she could be naked for all I care. As long as she’s comfortable and gets those damn legs moving.” Dabi could feel his temper starting to get the better of him. Considering Bakugo was known for having the worlds shortest fuse, he needed to keep his cool. He could not be the one to snap first.

“Oi! Don’t act like carrying her around is such a burden!” Bakugo stood up now squaring off with Dabi.

Dabi’s eyes flared but his voice remained even, “I never said it was a burden… In fact, I love carrying her around. However, I don’t plan on making it a habit because I want her to get better.” His voice dipped and got angrier, “And don’t you talk about her as if she’s not sitting in the same room as us! She can speak for herself…”

He looked at you and you gave him a pointed look. ~Calm down please.~

He took a deep breath and signed back, ~Trying~

Katsuki looked between the two of you with narrowed eyes, “When did you guys learn sign language?”

Dabi walked into the kitchen and started making dinner. If Bakugo wanted to make a house call, he needed to let him have his fun. He’d be leaving soon enough, he just needed to let the two of you be until then. “We started learning a couple weeks ago.” He pulled out two bowls because that’s how passive aggressive he is. If that asshat didn’t get the hint by the time dinner was ready, then he’d just have to sit there and watch you eat.

Dabi had to stop for a moment and contemplate this. Why was he this mad? Why did he actually care this much? You were obviously going to be close with the loudmouth. You’d known him for a long time. He needed to remember that just because you lived with him now doesn’t mean that you even want to be here. For all he knows you’re just tolerating him because you have to. It’s not like the two of you have lots of late-night conversations.

He looked over when he realized it had been pretty quiet and saw that the two of you were speaking in sign. His hands on yours helping you with a new word. “Okay so obviously you know sign too.”

Katsuki had a shit eating grin. “The doctors told my mom when I was young, I’d eventually go deaf due to my quirk. I’m basically fluent.” He continued to sit and teach you new words and damn if you weren’t happier than he had seen in the past two weeks.

Dabi rolled his eyes as he went back to making dinner. “Go ahead and teach her whatever you want. Be fucking useful for once.” Dabi continued to make dinner, shoulders tensing every time he heard you giggle.

Katsuki had his phone out and was showing you everything you had missed. “Okay so surprise, surprise, Deku and IcyHot are like a thing now.” He showed a couple cute pictures from Izuku’s private Instagram. The last one was of them kissing under an umbrella. “Kiri and Mina had a kid. Little rascal is probably about six months old now. He’s cute but his teeth hurt like hell.” He picked up his hand that had a tiny crescent shaped scar, which had you absolutely grinning.

He ruffled your hair, “Oi, you won’t be smiling when the brat bites you next.” He continued to scroll, “OH! I almost forgot the best part.” He turned his phone to you and showed you a picture of someone’s mug shot. “Fucking grape juice got arrested.”

Your eyes widened. You waited for him to go one when you realized he was waiting on you. He was giving you an opportunity to contribute to the conversation. ~Why?~

“Trying to buy a prostitute… Literally no one was surprised.” He looked back to the kitchen to make sure Dabi wasn’t listening. When he was satisfied, he pulled you closer into his side and threw his arm around you. “Hey, you would let me know if he was mistreating you right?” His fingers carded through your hair and his eyes roamed all your visible skin for signs of abuse.

You nodded your head and pulled your shirt further down, suddenly aware that you weren’t wearing pants. You had just gotten so used to it you had forgotten. He noticed you fidgeting, “He hasn’t touched you, has he? Because I swear to God I’ll rip out every single staple in his body then make him eat them.”

You leaned further into his to side to hide your blush. He most certainly had touched you. And you still hadn’t worked out how you felt about it. He hadn’t made any attempt to do it again beyond the casual touches when he carried you or when he helped you in the pool. He had made it a habit of sleeping in your room, but he always stayed on his side of the bed.

Katsuki must have taken your lack of response as a confirmation. “I’m going to kill him.”

You sat up straight and started shaking your head, ~No. No. Wrong~

“Wrong? So, he hasn’t touched you then?”

You gulped. Either way you answered was bad. You either told him the truth and he rage killed Dabi, or you lied to your best friend… Either way you were fucked.

As you struggled for an answer Dabi walked in and handed you your bowl of curry and rice. “Don’t worry I’ll answer that one for you, and stop at me at any point you think I got it wrong.” He took his seat in a recliner and took a bite of his meal. “So, we had a moment where something could have happened, but we stopped before it got too far and decided we were just being emotional and moved on.”

Katsuki’s hand started to heat up and crackled but you pulled on his arm to get his attention, ~Right~

He still looked angry, and maybe even a little hurt, which had you all confused again. He looked like he wanted to throw one of his famous temper tantrums. You knew how much it was killing him to not pounce on Dabi, “Keep your disgusting hands to yourself from now on. She’s been through enough. She doesn’t need you taking advantage of her!”

“You don’t speak for her!”

You clapped your hands to get their attention, ~Enough~ You gave each of them a glare and it was silent after that.

You took a bite of your dinner to avoid Katsuki’s eyes and was met with the most delicious meal Dabi had made to date. You cleared your throat to get Dabi’s attention. You pointed to Katsuki then your bowl of food and signed ~where~?

“I didn’t think a busy hero like him would have time to stick around for dinner.” He continued to pick at his food, “Speaking of which. It’s getting late. Hate to keep you from your super important work of dress up and make believe.”

Katsuki gestured to the duffle bag he carried in. “Oh, I’m not going anywhere tonight.” He was looking at you now. A look of concern ghosted across his face. “Consider it a wellness check.” He leaned forward and gave the side of your head a soft peck, “I just want to be sure you’re okay. I promised you I wouldn’t let anything happen to you and I intend to keep that promise.”

You felt yourself sinking into his familiar warmth. If there was anyone who felt like home, it was Katsuki. Sure, he was in the middle of a ridiculous pissing contest with Dabi at the moment, but you really couldn’t blame him. He’d always been a stubborn, territorial, asshole. But he was also kind he cared about you and for that you could forgive him.

“Whatever, just don’t get in the way of our routine.” Dabi stood up with his now empty bowl. “You know that law, eat every last bite. I’ll get your bath started while you finish.” He looked at Katsuki, “You can have my room… I’ll sleep on the couch.”

He didn’t even wait for a response as he left the two of you alone.

Katsuki visibly relaxed into the couch once Dabi had left the room. “What did he mean by law?”

You smiled as you pulled out your journal and opened it up for him. You pointed to law number seven. At first, he was pissed that Dabi would give you a new set of rules to live by, like you were some kid. But then he realized there wasn’t a single “law” on here that didn’t have your best interest in mind.

His eyes scanned over the rest. Chuckling at some silly laws like ‘Wake up whenever the hell you want’, and ‘No fucking shrugging.’ He had to admit that he also hated it when you would do that. It wasn’t that you were indecisive. It was that you knew what you wanted but you never wanted to speak up for yourself. Always willing to bend over backwards to make others happy. Never wanting to give anyone any more reason to dislike you.

His heart hurt at the laws that said things like, ‘No drugs’, ‘No locked doors’, and ‘Never say sorry for something that isn’t your fault.’

The law that had his blood boiling however was the last one, law number thirteen. ‘I will not initiate the sexy time without written or verbal consent.’ He furiously flipped through the pages that came after, trying to get the idea of you ever giving Dabi consent to touch you out of his mind.

You had finished your food by now and stretched your muscles out. All in all, this had been a great day. You walked on your own in the pool AND Katsuki had come to visit. You were so tired you just knew you would fall asleep as soon as your head hit the pillow. Hopefully you wouldn’t have any nightmares.

You put your hand on Katsuki’s shoulder and used it to push yourself to your feet. You wobbled for a few seconds but otherwise kept your footing.

“Hey look at you! I thought you’d be too tired after what we did in the pool today, good job.” You looked up to see Dabi leaning in the hallway. “Your bath is ready. One for me, two for blondie.”

Katsuki scrunched his nose up, “Wha-“

You held up two fingers and Dabi nodded. “Alright looks like you get bath time duty today.” Dabi smirked when Katsuki’s eyes widened. “Don’t freak out. She’s gotten to the point where she can get in on her own and some days she can even get out too. You just need to hang out by the door in case she needs help.

You wound your arms around Katsuki’s neck, and he picked you up. His heart pounded as he followed Dabi to what he assumed was your room. He leaned over and whispered in your ear, “Hey wouldn’t be the first time we bathed together.”

You giggled and hit his shoulder. You knew he meant when you were kids. But you couldn’t stop the blush that took over you at the thought of him just hopping in the tub with you now.

Dabi tensed up as he stopped at the door to your room. “Alright… y/n you know the drill if you need me just yell.” He winked at you after his stupid joke and you flipped him off.

He walked back to the kitchen and opened his laptop. He started to go over tomorrow’s sign language lesson early. He’d never tell you this, but he does this every day. You were so much better at picking it up then him, he needed to do extra work just to keep up.

You signed ~Thank you~ as Katsuki placed you down next to the full tub.

“Okay… so I guess you just let me know if you need me by…?”

You shrugged as you knocked on the side of the tub. Part of you really didn’t want him to leave, even if it was only for a few minutes. You reached out and grabbed his wrist.

He gave you a curious look, but softened when you signed back, ~Stay~

“Does he usually stay?”

You shook your head, Dabi always insisted he had things to do and it was important you do some things on your own.

Katsuki took a seat on the floor with his back against the tub. Even with permission he was determined to protect your modesty. You slipped your clothes off and quickly lifted your legs into the tub. It was almost too easy now and you smiled at your progress.

You sighed as the water warmed your skin. Your hand reached for Katsuki’s and gave it a squeeze. You could see the tension in his shoulders as he squeezed your hand back before intertwining your fingers.

“Y/n… I -I know I’ve already said I’m sorry. But I still have this mountain of guilt sitting on my chest. You were… are… one of the most important people in my life. And I was so wrapped up in my own life I didn’t see the signs. I didn’t notice that something was wrong.” You could hear his voice crack as he tried to hold his emotions down. “I knew you went on secret missions that you couldn’t always talk about. I watched as you came back looking defeated and… and broken. I thought there was something going on, but I just kept reminding myself you worked with heroes… that I was just being paranoid.”

You felt tears build in your eyes and you were glad he wasn’t looking at you. You rubbed circles on his hand with your thumb encouraging him to keep going. He obviously had a lot he had been bottling up. “You know Deku and I went to your agency one day after you had been gone for a few months and all they told us was your mission was confidential, and we weren’t related to you so they couldn’t even tell us if you were okay.” He sniffled, “I went there every day after work and got the same bull shit answer. It drove me crazy.”

He took a deep breath to settle himself, “So we started asking about you. Started looking for you in all the underground trading routes.” A long silence followed as he got lost in the memories of looking for you. “It almost took us a year, but we finally found someone who had seen you. Some small-time villain whose quirk was invisibility. He had snuck into your agency to try and break his boss out. But when he found him you were also in the room…”

He didn’t keep going, and for that you were grateful because you didn’t want to hear it. You knew what came next and you didn’t exactly want to relive it.

“I’m so sorry. I failed you. I was supposed to protect you. I promised you I’d be by your side forever, and I-I-“

You pulled his hand towards you and gave it a kiss before putting his palm on your cheek. He hesitantly turned and looked at you with tears in his eyes. You activated your quirk and washed over him with feelings of love and understanding. You watched his eyes close as he shuttered. You may not be able to speak, but you could still communicate to him through feeling that you were okay.

You reached over and brushed a stray tear away and pulled him close to plant a kiss on his forehead.

When your bath was over, he waited for you to wrap yourself in a towel before picking you up and depositing you gently on your bed. You pulled the All Might shirt he had brought with him over your head, and crawled under the covers.

He had only wanted to lay there until you fell asleep, but he ended up falling asleep soon after you.

Dabi walked in hoping to tell you goodnight but found the two of you asleep facing each other. You under the covers, Bakugo on top of the covers. Your hands stretched out towards each other as if looking for each other even in sleep.

Dabi’s hands were glowing with livid flames as he left in a hurry.

He went straight to the abandoned cabinet that held all of the now off-limits drugs. He could take just one… you would never know.

He growled as he shoved the bottle back into the cabinet and slammed the door. Reaching instead for a bottle of whiskey. He went to the couch and poured himself a drink.

And that’s how you and Bakugo found him the next day. Passed out on the couch empty whisky bottle on the floor next to him.

Dabi chugged his coffee as his head pounded. He was no stranger to hangovers, but ever since you came to live with him, he hadn’t felt the need to drink that much. At one point in his life it had been the only way he could get any decent sleep.

He watched from his seat at the kitchen island as you and Bakugo made breakfast. The smell of bacon hit him and his stomach growled. Shit.

You could see his sour expression and when Bakugo wasn’t looking you stood from the chair you were sitting in. Dabi kept his eyes on you like a hawk. Watching for any signs you might fall. You stumbled but he remained still. He knew you were okay. The Island was right there if you needed to hold on to it. You were only a few steps away from him now. Arms stretched out and a smile on your face.

You knew this would cheer him up, and get him out of whatever shitty mood he was in. Only one more step and you’d be there. To this Dabi stood up and took a step away from you with a playful look in his eye as if to say come and get me.

Bakugo continued to talk, not even noticing you weren’t sitting behind him anymore. It wasn’t until the loud thud of you hitting the tile floor that he looked up. He immediately rushed to you while Dabi laughed.

“Why the fuck are you laughing? She could be hurt!”

Dabi just continued to laugh, “I’m laughing because it’s fucking funny. She’s fine.” He titled his head to the side. “You’re a tough cookie aren’t yeah y/n?”

You giggled and nodded. Dabi took you from Bakugo’s embrace “See she’s fine. I think you need to remember she used to be a pro hero. I think she can handle tripping over her own feet.” He stood up and sat you down in front of the laptop.

“Okay time to learn some sign language, looks like today’s all about food. Oh good, you love food.” He ruffled your hair before picking a piece of bacon off of your plate and biting into it.

The little back and forth continued the entire day. The biggest argument came later when it was time for the pool. You groaned and decided you weren’t in the mood. ~No pool~

Dabi rolled his eyes at you, “Yes pool. You even have a bathing suit this time. So, get your ass in gear.”

You crossed your arms over your chest in defiance. “Listen here brat. It’s the law. We work on getting your strength back every single day. No negotiations.”

Bakugo didn’t like the tone Dabi was talking to you in. “Oi, she’s not some puppet for you to boss around. She said she doesn’t want to so that’s it. Back off!”

Dabi’s eyes flared with anger, “You don’t have a fucking say in this. This is between me and her.” He looked at you again, “If you had asked nicely, I might have let this go. Just because we have a guest doesn’t mean you can disregard the laws and neglect the routine. Now be a good girl and let’s go put your bathing suit on.”

Bakugo stepped between you and Dabi, “Be a good girl? What the fuck is your problem. You don’t own her.”

Dabi pinched the bridge of his nose trying to remind himself why he can’t just fight the obnoxious asshole in font of him. “I don’t own her, but I also refuse to sit here and watch her wither away. We have laws to make her better, and I refuse to deviate. It’s clear I take her recovery more seriously than you do.”

Bakugo shoved Dabi back, “The fuck you do! This isn’t some rehab she checked into. You have no right to boss her around! What makes you think you know what’s best for her?”

Dabi was practically screaming now, “Because I’ve fucking been in her shoes, you ignorant ticking time bomb!” His chest was heaving now, “Did you ever wonder why I had to fake my own death just to get away from my own father… who was a fucking HERO! I’ve been poked and prodded and pushed past my limits. Except I didn’t have someone there to help me and I ended up in the League. Depressed, blood thirty, and hell bent on getting revenge on the so-called heroes that were so okay with a little boy practically killing himself every day just to produce the next number one.”

To this Bakugo didn’t have an answer. He’s heard Todoroki’s horror stories. He could only imagine what Endeavor had put Dabi through.

Dabi looked at you know eyes still furious, “I’ll make you a deal y/n. You put on quite the show this morning taking a few steps on your own. No matter how mad I am, I’ll never tell you that wasn’t a good job. But now you want to skip the very thing that allowed you to take those steps.” He walked out of the kitchen and took a seat in his recliner. “Make it over to me right now, with no help and we can skip the pool.”

With a determined scowl you pushed yourself out of your seat. Bakugo went to grab you “Y/n you don’t have to do-“

“Yes! She does, now let her do it. She needs this. Y/n you can do this. Now prove it to me and prove it to yourself.”

You took your first step, determination written all over you face. Step followed step and you had already walked further than you had this morning, but you were only about halfway there.

Dabi’s eyes were patient and his voice was calm. “Come on y/n. You can do this. You aren’t broken. There is nothing wrong with you. Just keep walking.”

You could feel the tension in the room stiffen. Bakugo watched you with his hands out as if to catch you, always your protector, always your safety net. But you didn’t need that right now.

Your knees started to wobble and buckle, and involuntary whine left your lip as you went down to one knee.

“Come on you can’t give up now. You’re doing such a good job. Now push yourself back up. I’m right here. Come on. Push harder!”

You felt a tear streak down your cheek as you tried to push yourself up but only ended up on the ground.

Bakugo was at your side in an instant but you pushed him away.

“That’s right y/n you can do this. I believe in you. I don’t care if you have to crawl. You’re so close.” You pulled yourself up enough to crawl across the rough carpet. You got up to your knees then slowly you stood.

Dabi saw the fire in your eyes and it sent a shiver down his spine. You were going to do this even if it killed you. It made him think about what you would look like in battle. If you looked even half as gritty as you do now he had no doubt you had strong men cowering at your feet. He wouldn’t be satisfied until he gave that back to you. That power, that strength, that untamable will, he knew was somewhere inside you laying dormant.

He got out of his recliner and lowered himself to the ground, “Come on your so close now. Keep going Y/N!”

With one last push you practically jumped into his arms and collapsed. Tears streamed down your cheeks, but for the first time since coming here they were happy tears. You did it. You walked all on your own.

He cooed into your hair as he rocked you back and forth, “You did such a good job. You did it. I knew you could. You can rest now. I’ll get you some ice cream. How does that sound. We’ll celebrate.”

You nodded as you clutched Dabi’s shirt.

Bakugo disappeared for a few minutes and when he came back he had his bag over his shoulder. He kneeled down next to you and pressed his forehead to yours. “I think it’s time I got back to work. I still need to take down the bastards that did this to you.” He smoothed his fingers through your hair and looked to Dabi, “I think you’re in good hands.”

He made his way to the door, “I’ll be back soon.”

*****************

Tags: tags: @falling4fandoms @wifunozomi @here-in-never-land @whore-for-anime@klecksstorys @aurorahoneybuns @theunknownrandom @insane-without-delirium @frenchsfryys @officiallydarkgeek @neofixcs @music-is-all-i-need

[powermetalhag]

Digging Deeper

 @alienfuckeronmain​ tagged me in this massive tag meme (Thank you!! I love doing these things). If I tag you, feel free to ignore this if you don’t feel up to doing it/reading it. If you aren’t tagged and want to be, feel free to just say I tagged you ❤

I tag: @flowerkitten @meemimajima @darlingdear @wizards1977 @violet-tea @lickthatbattery @lusamine @misfit-on-a-journey @lampshroomomg @cyrsed @wooden-duck @wildbayou @curse-you @ghostly-rowlf​ @icedchailatte​ @oni-lover​

1. Do you prefer writing with a black pen or blue pen? black

2. Would you prefer to live in the country or city? City

3. If you could learn a new skill what would it be? I’d love to be able to sing and metal-scream really well. I’m trying to learn but I practice pretty inconsistently and it’s an uphill battle bc I don’t have much natural aptitude for it. Also it would be really cool to be a contortionist. 

4. Do you drink your tea/coffee with sugar? I don’t drink coffee. Sometimes I sweeten tea, sometimes I don’t.

5. What was your favourite book as a child? I didn’t like reading books much as a child. When it came to reading novels, my reading comprehension was pretty below average (I think I posted about this ages ago, but when I tried to read Harry potter when I was 7 I couldn’t follow it at all. I somehow thought that Harry and Hagrid were the same character and that Hagrid was just the name for Harry’s Wizard self. My concentration just wasn’t there). I read a lot of manga though. I think my favourites were fushigi yuugi, saint tail, and miracle girls.

6. Do you prefer baths or showers? showers.

7. If you could be a mythical creature, which one would it be? Hobbit

8. Paper or electronic books? I prefer paper books, but I mostly use electronic ones.

9. What is your favourite item of clothing? my cloud-print long sleeved mesh shirt

10. Do you like your name or would you like to change it? I used to want to change it, I don’t anymore. 

11. Who is a mentor to you? I don’t think I have one

12. Would you like to be famous and if so, what for? I like the idea of creative projects of mine becoming a little bit known, but I’d never want to be famous.

13. Are you a restless sleeper? Not really

14. Do you consider yourself a romantic person? I’m probably less romantic than the average person, but in the right situation I can be.

15. Which element best represents you? I associate myself with fire (bc I'm a leo) but in some ways water or air might better represent me. Idk.

16. Who do you want to be closer to? Honestly? Pretty much all of my friends. My life is complicated and the severity of my ocd makes me keep everyone at a distance more than I’d like to.

17. Do you miss someone at the moment? Everyone who I haven’t seen since quarantine started.

18. Tell us about an early childhood memory. As young kids my sister and I hated Tracey Sketchit from pokemon so passionately that we would draw his face on the bottom of our feet before going to jump on the trampoline so that we could feel like we were jumping on him

19. What is the strangest thing you have eaten? When we were little my sister and I would sometimes eat raw dried spaghetti dipped in vegemite when there was no other easy snacks in the house. We called them cardboard sticks. (The food situation in my house wasn’t dire or anything, we were just too lazy to make a sandwich or something lol)

20. What are you most thankful for? I am thankful for the people I have in my life and for the amount of stability i’ve been able to have in my life in recent times.

21. Do you like spicy food? I do, but if I eat it often enough to increase my tolerance to it I get bad reflux. So I remain a spice wimp who can only have mild.

22. Have you ever met someone famous? Zakk Wylde, Chris Lilley, and some guy who was on Blue Heelers. Also I spoke to Tracy Grimshaw on the phone once. Meeting Zakk Wylde was funny because I was REALLY weird and embarrassing.

(Long story ahead, feel free to skip) Basically, my friend and I were 16 and wandering through the city high on acid. We saw Zakk standing near Hungry Jacks and became completely captivated by him. We had no idea he was some big famous rockstar, we thought he was just some random guy. I cannot convey to you how intense his presence felt at that time. It was like he was everything that is and ever will be metal but congealed into a human being and magnified by 2000x. (in case you don’t know him, he looks like this)

We were so high that we were very in our own world and felt like we were the only ones who really existed and that everything else was just kinda there for us to observe. So we started following him and discussing him as if he couldn’t hear every word we were saying. 

I remember us being like “He’s the most metal thing i’ve seen in my life” “He’s like Neptune, king of the sea, but a brutal version” “He’s the raw original concept that all other metalheads were disseminated from. He’s the true, the original.” It made sense at the time that he could be the origin point of metal and the first ever metalhead because time and space felt like it existed in a looser way than usual. We were really fixated on the idea that metal was invented through his very existence as a direct expression of self, then people copied him, then people copied those people and so on. The further they got from the source (Zakk) the more diluted the essence became. That’s why being around normal metalheads wasn’t as viscerally overwhelming as being in the presence of the raw undiluted concept. We concluded that no metalheads were actually expressing themselves through their subcultural identity. Unknowingly, they’re just expressing him. And we were saying all of this while walking maybe a metre and a half behind him while he ignored us.

Eventually some of the people he was with noticed we were following him and started talking to us (they may have been members of Black label society or they may have just been friends of his, idk). They were friendly and said that they used to do acid when they were younger too and invited us to get drunk with them. We said yes and walked with them for a little. I don’t think Zakk said a word to us the entire time. He probably found us annoying. But we kept staring at Zakk and getting overwhelmed by how intense it was just to be in his presence. Then me and my friend abruptly turned and left without saying anything because being around Zakk was getting to be too much. It was like a sensory overload. As we walked away we barely heard them yelling back to us “something something something ZAKK WYLDE!”. I was familiar with the name but I’d never known how he looked. I googled him a few days later and learned that it was indeed Zakk Wylde who we met and that he’d been in Brisbane with black label society.

And that’s the story of how I passed up the once in a lifetime opportunity to get drunk with Zakk Wylde because his vibes were off the charts.

23. Do you do you keep a diary or journal? No. Kinda wish I could, but the habit doesn’t stick.

24. Do you prefer to use a pen or a pencil?  Pencil

25. What is your star sign? Leo sun (Virgo cusp), Scorpio moon, Sagittarius rising.

26. Do you like your cereal soggy or crunchy? Crunchy

27. What would you want your legacy to be? I’d like to have a positive effect on the people in my life and leave art behind that people might enjoy or relate to (I use the word art loosely, I mean any kind of creative project). I think I've become more aware recently of how important that is to me, which is why I've been so uncharacteristically dedicated to finishing my comic.

28. Do you like reading, what was the last book you read? I like reading books but I don’t always have the attention span for it. I tend to read more non-fiction than fiction. The last book I read was Nothing Feels Good: Punk Rock, Teenagers, and Emo. A really great book if you want to learn about emo history. The only downside is that it was published in 2003, before emo really took off in the mainstream. Had some insightful things to say regardless.

29. How do you show someone you love them? Idk I can’t think of a concise answer for this. I think it varies depending on who it is and what our dynamic is. When I took that love language test it said my love language was quality time.

30. Do you like ice in your drinks? I don’t like it in water. It’s fine in most other drinks.

31. What are you afraid of? I don’t think I can answer this without oversharing or getting too bleak

32. What is your favourite scent? I like tropical scents like mango and coconut

33. Do you address older people by their name or surname? By their name

34. If money was not a factor, how would you live your life? I’d buy a house with my sister and I wouldn’t have a job but I'd volunteer and do freelance creative work. I’d donate a lot more and help people out more. I’d learn lots of new skills and make lots of art. I would have an amazing wardrobe too.

A kinda sillier dream is that I'd start a cheerleading team where our routines are exclusively to metal songs. As well as entering competitions, we would also be an opening act for bands (in this dream i’m much better at cheerleading than I currently am). It would be cool ok

35. Do you prefer swimming in pools or the ocean.? Ocean. I miss going to the beach so much

36. What would you do if you found £50 on the ground? See if someone dropped it. Then idk, would depend on my financial situation at the time.

37. Have you ever seen a shooting star? Yes

38. What is the one thing you would want to teach your children? I’m not going to have children. I’d like to be a good influence in my friend’s children’s lives though.

39. If you had to have a tattoo, what would it be and where would you get it? Probably some old-school gradient style neopets art (maybe an aisha) or 90s tamagotchi art or a cool wizard. I’d get it on my thigh. I’m very unlikely to ever get a tattoo though

40. What can you hear now? The hum of my computer. It’s old and loud and on its way out

41. Where do you feel the safest? In my bed at home with my cat Luna or hanging out w my sister

42. What is the one thing you want to overcome/conquer? Once coronavirus is less of an issue (which may be in the near future where I live), I’d like to try and push myself to start dating again. I haven’t done that in a long while. The limitations that ocd causes me makes it hard for me to imagine a relationship-- even a casual one--being workable. But I ought to at least try before I decide that. Sometimes things turn out to be easier than I think they’ll be 🤷‍♀️.

43. If you could travel back to any era, what would it be? This is so hard!!

If this is purely for enjoyment and not to change the past, i’d probably just want to see all my favourite bands live while they were in their prime and like, cry the whole way through because I am so moved.

44. What is your most used emoji? :) or :/ 

45. Describe yourself using one word. I’m really bad at questions like this

46. What do you regret the most? Eh, that’s a bit personal. I feel like i’ve overshared enough in this thing.

47. Last movie you saw? Diary of a Wimpy Kid: Dog Days

48. Last tv show you watched? Degrassi the next generation

49. Invent a word and it’s meaning. Idk

If you’ve read this far ty!! Here’s a little sheep for your trouble

[nobume-date]

Top 10 Husbando

Thanks for tagging me! @lordbunshin @lemonicebar wanted to know my husbando  😉

I believe everyone here definitely have a crushed on 2D characters but it takes more than pretty face, great body, intelligent and super power to be the best husbando IRL or so called IkeDan*. Like, will they be there when we need their help? Will they make us a porridge when we sick? and stuffs...

*IkeDan = Ikemen Danna (イケメン旦那) = The hotties who possess husband material, recently popular word among Japanese women.

Personally I think it’s not fair for anime’s characters because otoge’s characters originally were created to be an ideal husbando. Plus all anime already finished, no more season 4-5-6 with a wedding or happy family story like otoge did. So i’ll go with 5 husbundo from anime fandom and 5 from otoge fandom.

P.S. Srsly, I had a hard time for choosing just 10 husbando from hundreds husbandos in my list.

Anime Husbando

5. Kuroba Kaito @ Magic Kaito KID

This IQ 400, playful and kind gentleman, full-time high school boy, part-time phantom thief is definitely a hero for both boys and girls in fandom. Well, he was born from Gosho Aoyama who wrote Detecive Conan after all, this character surely has a charmingly deep and various dimensions. 

Kaito might be too young to be considered as husbando but with all of his good traits, he’d definitely grow up to be the best one. Besides, I love a sweet & thrill in love life 😉

4. Kinomoto Tōya @ Cardcaptor Sakura 

Touya-niichan is my first love in anime fandom since I was a kid and still have been in my heart until now. Thanks to Clear Card Arc, I have a chance to see him in college version and more striking handsome due to advanced CG technology in anime industry. 

He is cool, kind, athletic and very popular with the girls even he is a bit loner who has only Yukito as a BFF. He did many jobs so that he can pay for college on his own, despite his father is a college professor who could easily pay for his tuition, very impressive responsibility as a mere high school boy. 

He is also good at cooking and helps with house work, yeah husband material. Even he’s always tease his little sister Sakura but that nothing to do with me ;p Well, his caring for family is the best clue for being a potential future husband and father.

3. Karasuma Tadaomi @ Assassination Classroom (VA Sugita Tomokazu 😍)

Who wouldn’t fall for this super cool badass fighter? He’s an elite agent sent from Japan's Ministry of Defense to supervise Koro-sensei. 

Karasuma is a strict but kind man, though he keeps a distance between himself and the students due to his status as an agent and his own professionalism. He is also extremely dense when it comes to love, but isn't so oblivious that he doesn't figure it out eventually. Even though he comes off as distant, he's not completely devoid of emotion and seems to be able to express happiness very rarely; most notably, during violent situations.

Judging from how he taught his students as the physical education teacher in Class 3-E, he must be a strict dad who raise his kids to be a strong fighter both physically and mentally. He is a perfect husbando for waifu who need someone to keep her on her toes. His love life is hilarious and interesting bc his waifu is a b*tch. Well, if you watch this anime you’d know what i mean 😉 Hush hush... I bet he is definitely a wild beast on bed, fu fu 😉

P.S. Let me clear this, I’m not that b*tch but I still need him bc it’s thrill for having such a cool & elite agent as a husbando.

2. Yanagi Kazuma @ Kaze no Stigma (VA Ono Daisuke 😍)

Due to his family circumstance and ex-lover’s tragedy, he has become too powerful and overprotective in an effort to be able to protect those important to him and not to lose them again. Even Kazuma shows his arrogance and egotistic side most of the time, he'll protect people who are naturally weak and have no chance of becoming stronger.

He is a snarky sarcastic and anti-social, rarely interacts with others unless business is involved. But he’s very caring and protect his beloved Ayano and his little brother Ren. He can do house chores and cooking. When he fell in love he’ll be unbelievably sweet and gentle yet still be a big tease making Ayano (and me) doki doki occasionally; e.g. licking a splashed wine on her cheek saying it’s a waste if he don’t drink it, kissing her hair when he confess to her. When he kissed her neck and said “You better get ready because I’m selfish and have a strong desire” I was melted ☺️☺️☺️

P.S. When I finished watching this anime and found out season 2 never come bc the writer had died since 2009 I cried like my own relative died 😭😭

1. Usui Takumi @ Kaichou wa Maid-sama (VA Okamoto Nobuhiko 😍)

You couldn’t count yourself an 2D otaku in Shoujou-Otome line if you don’t know him, he is a LEGENDARY HUSBANDO for Shoujou manga and anime.

He is everything as an ideal husbando for me, looks, brain and talent at everything. Playful but not wishy-washy. Flirt but not creepy. Devoted but not possessed. Helped but not spoiled. These traits also very like Masamune Ikesen too. Despite having dark past about their own families, Usui didn’t strong and friendly as Masamune, well, he’s just a normal high school boy after all 😉

But in manga, he eventually grown up to be a great doctor and also an amazing husbando who let his waifu living apart for a sake of her dream job.... such a board-mind and patient husbando 😊

Otoge Husbando

5. Kirishima Kaoru @ Our 2 Bedrooms Story by Voltage

This aloof, cool, talent editor is MC coworker who emit an aura of “leave me alone” but actually kind & gentle and very cuddle when you’re in relationship like Ieyasu but he’s a straightforward type and isn’t sarcastic or snarky at all.

His stories weren’t exciting or twist like the others but very real and relax.. his coolly cuteness and kindness somehow made me calm, like laying in a corridor under warm sunshine after the battles with all tough guys 😆

Now it’s Wedding Season already and I’m the most lucky bride in the world😊

4. Soryu Oh @ Kissed by the Baddest Bidders by Voltage

Head of Hong Kong’s Mafia who scared everyone away with his scary & cold  vibe but love omrice 😆 Hate women bc they’re reek of perfume and only chase after the rich. Anyway he is a gentleman and the only bidder who treat MC as a human being and protected her from any harms.

When you captivated his heart, he’d turned to be a doting BF who protect you with his life. Even he’s a man with a few word but his expression for love is so deep and intense. On bed? also a sexy beast 😆😆 A special story “Happy Family with Him” also show how wonderful he was as a father.

Now we’ve married and live a happily in NY season 5th already 😊

3. Okochi Minato @ Our 2 Bedrooms Story by Voltage

An ace senior editor of a big shot publisher who is arrogant, big tease and tsundere but his sexy & sweet side made me melt. He is such an sharp-tongue alfa-dog who always mocked MC as a Pomeranian but bickering with him is so much fun. Even he is a super self-confident but he secretly worked out bc he wanted to impress MC with his well toned body when they xxx ☺️ yeah... he’s a bit... horny sexy beast ☺️😆

Even he’s hopeless around the house to the point he could literally explode the kitchen but he tried hard to cook for his beloved fiancée by joining cooking lessons. He always be there to help MC for both work and personal life and also let MC helped him occasionally.

Now it’s Wedding Season 💒 already and I’m so happy with him 😊

2. Oda Nobunaga @ Ikemen Sengoku by Cybrid (VA Sugita Tomokazu 😍)

The tyrant Demon King and a dutiful BF who has an unbearable cute side I couldn’t resist. He called emergency war room to consult how to improve his GF’s mood after 3 days Silence Treat 😆 He was jealous of his own bear avatar 😊 He love Kompeito and secretly(?) steal it from his own kitchen every night😆, etc. So damn sexy and alluring, got me every event, couldn’t keep calm around him. I’ve a bunch of arrogant, intelligent, rich and powerful husbando but no one is as charming as him... srsly.

He’s sweet and kind...when he want to be 😆 An open-mind husbando who is enthusiasm  to learn new things. Also such a dutiful dad who’d read a bedtime stories for his kids every night 😊

1. Date Masamune @ Ikemen Sengoku by Cybrid (VA Katou Kazuki 😍)

Since I played his routes both Dramatic and Romantic in row on last X’mas, I fell hard for this playful dragon and he has been my no.1 since then. Who could refuse he possess a super husband material? Here, here here and here.

[recentanimenews]

Bookshelf Briefs 8/26/21

Captivated, By You | By Yama Wayama | Yen Press – A collection of short stories that originally ran in the magazine Comic Beam, they all take place around the same school and feature some of the same cast intermingling with each other, but each can also be read as a standalone. This is not a BL title, but I’d say it’s BL-adjacent, and there are several relationships that you could see going that way. My favorites included a social media relationship done via cut-out “kidnapper” letters, a man trying to reinvent himself in high school… as the creepy dude everyone avoids, and a bullied kid trying to get petty revenge on his bully but being unable to because he’s too decent a person at heart. The stories vary in quality, but the collection overall is very nice. – Sean Gaffney

Days on Fes, Vol. 2 | By Kanato Oka | Yen Press This continues to hit at what it does best, showing off how awesome it can be to go to a music festival. You can hear things you’d never even knew existed, and you might even run into the singer of your favorite band incognito inside the crowd. Will romantic sparks fly?? Well, probably not, because honestly our two girls seem to be really into each other—as with Captivated, By You, this is not yuri or BL but it is yuri and BL-adjacent, as each pair of leads makes an awesome couple but isn’t actually one. If there’s one complaint it’s that so far this is almost entirely on the fan side of things. There’s a suggestion that might change, as we do get a few pages of one band, but I’d like to see more actual music—and more struggles. -Sean Gaffney

Happy Kanako’s Killer Life, Vol. 1 | By Toshiya Wakabayashi | Seven Seas – This is a black, black comedy, and if you find the idea of a happy-go-lucky girl killing people appalling, best to skip it. That said, if you do like black comedy, it’s wonderful. Kanako is an OL who just quit her job and finds that the new one she answered the ad for… is a hit man. Her first target… is her old boss. And she’s really good at killing people. Plus, it’s got great pay, and you get to go out and have meat and alcohol afterwards. Oh yes, and the book is filled with weird animal puns—and the animals appear behind Kanako as she says them, so the translation must have been FUN. This isn’t for everyone, but it’s gleefully silly and dark as hell, as you watch Kanako sink further and further to the dark side. – Sean Gaffney

Kaguya-sama: Love Is War, Vol. 20 | By Aka Akasaka | Viz Media – It’s Valentine’s Day, and as you can imagine that means different things to different people in this book. We also find out that Maki is actually one of the most respected students on campus… it’s just we’ve only ever seen her reflected through her hilarious unrequited love, so we don’t get it (and neither do the main cast). Also, exam results are out, which means that Ishigami gets to show off the results of Kaguya’s tutoring… and Shirogane, who’s dropped to twelfth because he’s narrowing his focus to studying English for Stanford. Believe me, there’s still plenty of silliness, mostly from Fujiwara, but the characters are beginning to grow up and throw off the shackles of the past… or have it done for them. – Sean Gaffney

Komi Can’t Communicate, Vol. 14 | By Tomohito Oda | Viz Media – Sometimes this series has a long-running arc, and sometimes it just coasts along on pure cute. This volume is one of the latter, and it is very, very cute indeed, which is the main reason people are reading the title, but does make things a bit difficult to pick out to review. Komi and Tadano remain the best couple who aren’t one, and everyone can see it. Manbagi is also clearly very much in denial about her own crush on Tadano, and I anticipate the next arc will be dealing with that. Najimi remains obnoxious but fun, Yamai remains obnoxious and not fun. If you’ve enjoyed other volumes, this is an obvious one to get. And it sure is cute, isn’t it? – Sean Gaffney

Medalist, Vols. 1-2 | By Tsurumaikada | Kodansha Comics (digital only) – Even if the story in this series weren’t great, I’d likely still be recommending it solely based on the art, which is frequently stunning, and has beautifully characterized expressions. Fortunately, the story is also excellent. A former ice dancer who was never quite able to go pro discovers a young girl who is trying desperately, despite her mother’s misgivings, to be an Olympic figure skater. Like a lot of lead girls in this sort of series, she’s not got a lot of knowledge but has a great deal of raw talent and iron will. Together, the two of them try to pull each other out of the depression they were in. The girl being eight years old means there’s a lack of mentor-mentee romance you might get if she were a teen. This is just sweet. – Sean Gaffney

Night Bus | By Zuo Ma | Drawn & Quarterly – Finding independent Chinese comics translated into English is something of a rarity, so I was very excited to see that Zuo Ma’s Night Bus was being released. I had previously encountered Zuo Ma’s work in the underground Chinese comic anthology Naked Body published by Paradise Systems. Drawn & Quarterly’s edition of Night Bus, translated and with ending notes by Orion Martin (founder of Paradise Systems), actually gathers stories from two of Zuo Ma’s books: Walk, a collection of ten short works, and an updated and expanded version of the long-form comic Night Bus. In these stories, Zuo Ma frequently incorporates semi-autobiography, fantastical dreamscapes, and the supernatural, working and reworking themes and ideas throughout the volume. Elements of reality and unreality are interwoven and fused in powerful, visceral ways, capturing intense emotions of anxiety and dread, but also evoking a sense of nostalgia. Night Bus is an unsettling, riveting, and compelling collection. – Ash Brown

Queen’s Quality, Vol. 12 | By Kyousuke Motomi | Viz Media – The series works best when it’s equating the stresses and paranoia of the inner mind with outer monsters to match. Sometimes, though, it’s just a bunch of fighting, and the monsters seem to be there just to be antagonists. Fortunately, there’s still our two leads, who remain the best thing about this series. Kyutaro is trying his best to retain his sense of self, and fortunately he has Fumi to help, who is happy to go all the way with him, although perhaps not with the snake inside him. They don’t, however, and Fumi ends up getting her best moments when she shows off what a vicious badass she’s become. That said, the danger of this series is it doesn’t come out often enough, so I forget the plot a lot. – Sean Gaffney

Sacrificial Princess and the King of Beasts, Vol. 13 | By Yu Tomofuji | Yen Press – The start of this volume is a lot of fun, as Sariphi ends up dealing with a tsundere female version of his highness, a woman who is said to have beast ancestry in her past and thus is accused of being evil. Given that this series tends to run on pure Fruits Basket, it’s no surprise that Sariphi is able to help with the pure power of shininess. All is not well back home, though, and it’s becoming pretty clear that endgame is going to be revealing the King’s other form as an excuse for executing him… and I would not be surprised if they blame Sariphi for it. This is still very good, and remains a wonderful reminder of the days when we always got piles of Hana to Yume manga like it. – Sean Gaffney

Sazan & Comet Girl | By Yuriko Akase | Seven Seas – Perhaps the most striking aspect of Sazan & Comet Girl is that the all of the artwork is in full color. Akase’s watercolor illustrations of planetary and interstellar backgrounds in particular are simply gorgeous. Story-wise, however, Sazan & Comet Girl isn’t particularly innovative, primarily revisiting and combining familiar tropes and character types of its genre. Even so, the volume is still great fun, coming across as a nostalgic, loving homage to older science fiction media. The entire series has been released as a single omnibus volume in English and doesn’t have obvious chapter breaks, so once the story gets going it just goes and keeps going, shifting from romantic comedy into action adventure before returning fully to its underlying love story. Sazan is goofball of a lead and Mina, the titular comet girl, is an endearing heroine—apart from the artwork, the manga is at its best when focusing on them. – Ash Brown

This Wonderful Season with You | By Atsuko Yusen | TOKYOPOP – Junpei Enoki is a bespectacled nerd who belongs to the electronic engineering club. Ryousuke Shirataki, a “normie” with a reputation for being cool and manly, is searching for something after an injury ruined his baseball prospects. After Shirataki joins the club, they get to know each other and, ultimately, fall in love. The tone is mostly comedic, with an art style that reminds me a bit of vintage shounen, and I really liked that some characters who seem like comic relief end up being important. I also loved how each boy has an unexpected side to him that the other sees immediately while others fail to notice. Shirataki appeared aloof, but he was actually suffering, and it’s so nice at the end to see him goofy and happy. I could’ve done without the final sex chapter, but aside from that, this was great. – Michelle Smith

By: Ash Brown

[pretty-eyes-jaeger]

“Children of the Devil”

If you’ve followed me for a while, or even just a few days, you may have been able to tell that my favorite characters in Shingeki no Kyojin are the Titan Trio: Bertholdt Hoover, Annie Leonhardt, and Reiner Braun. I don’t try to hide that at all, and even though I really do love all the 104th kids, these three have captured and captivated my attention and heart since I first started to read the manga. Therefore, I’ve given them the most thought in the series. I go into every chapter hoping for more about them; their background, their story, if nothing else, the other characters at least talking about them like they exist. 

Around the release of Chapter 91, I posted something expressing these sentiments, to which @bertltolt replied that they felt the same way I did. Thus, we’ve decided to collaborate to bring you a consolidated post of our Titan Trio thoughts and theories in the hopes that you’ll perhaps give these characters a second look and will actually take a moment to see the complexity behind the “villains” of the series. 

"Children of the Devil"

I think that the most tragic thing about these characters has to be their upbringing and the idea behind their actions. Let’s start by looking back at what little information we have about the warriors, the training and the way their chosen:

Reiner, Bertholdt, Annie and Marcel were chosen at a very young age. Going by the 13 year life span and the fact that Reiner's time is coming up as of chapter 92, we assume that they were 7/8, give or take a year, when they were given the power of the titan or at the very least began their training, (because they had to learn how to control those titans, and we saw how long it took 15-year-old Eren to control his. They had to start them young to ensure that they’d still be in control after 5 years lying dormant through cadet training.) These children were either taken from their families or given up by them for a chance of luxury as Marleyan citizens.

As part of the program, the chosen soldier children were subjected to brainwashing as part of their training. They were taught to hate their people, to hate themselves and to believe that the entire Eldian race was evil and the cause of so much suffering for the Marley and somehow needed cleansing. It's hard to think that these children had a chance to do the right thing when the idea was so integrated into their society, that it was taught within their homes, the core of any child's upbringing.

We can see just how conditioned the Eldian people are with instances like Grisha as a child and the way that Mr. Jaeger spoke about the Eldian people to him, so much so that he didn't fight the murder of his own daughter because somehow, he believed it was right. It's easy to assume that the children of the Warrior program had the same upbringing with the same ideas put into their head by their families, society and the Marley and these ideas were only pushed further the moment they entered training.

While the conditioning into the Warrior stages happened, these kids were probably being taught to give their utmost loyalty and respect to the Marley, like any soldier would. It wasn't a matter of mental or emotional strength or attachment that drove them on that mission. They did it because it's what they were taught and told to do. They were broken down and rebuilt with Marley's interest in mind. These children were nothing but assets with the power of a titan, conditioned by the Marley’s ideologies and shoved into a selfish battle that wasn't their fight to begin with. It wasn't a choice.

After years of training, with their lives literally ticking away, these children are sent out on a mission to breach the three walls and rid the world of the people within them while retrieving the coordinate. Four children sent out, only one returns.

The “brainwashed” child soldier archetype has been clear for these three from the Clash of the Titans arc, shown particularly through Bertholdt’s dialogue in Chapters 47-49. He insists that he and Reiner are ‘warriors,’ not soldiers. He calls the 104th kids ‘children of the devil.’ He asks ‘who do you think wants to kill people?’ Everything Bertholdt says, (and even does) throughout the course of the battle in this arc reveals the fact that a.) he, Reiner, and Annie were forced to do this, and b.) they don’t want to. 

There is absolutely no way to justify what they did. The acts they committed cost the lives of thousands of people and destroyed homes and families of many. Even so, we can't look at their actions and say that these children weren't remorseful for what they did.

It was shown in obvious ways.

Beginning with Annie, she was always the most distant of the group, which was her biggest weakness as stated by Shadis. Her isolation from everyone, including her partners, was a way to keep herself from getting attachments to the members of the 104 not only because she was aware of her mission and what it required her to do but also because she could jeopardize their positions as the titans. Although she kept herself distant, it didn't prevent her from harboring feelings towards her fellow team members. One example is the small amount of excitement she expressed when she offered to train Eren her dad’s fighting techniques. This is a small way for her to interact with this hopelessly passionate boy in a way that isn’t suspicious and won’t necessarily form too strong of a bond between them. She also showed deep respect for Armin and in a way considered him a friend which later led to her sparing his life during the Female Titan arc. This incident allowed Armin to later identify her as the female titan. Her sparing Armin gave up her position.

Bertholdt also isolated himself but was different in the sense of being able to keep himself distant while still being there. He maintains a safe distance, written off as just a shy, awkward guy. He was rarely seen apart from the group, say for a few times but even so, he spent less time interacting with the 104. Part of this probably has to do with the fact that he was always with Reiner which lead him to being around the other members of the 104 a lot more frequently even if he hadn't of wanted to, and inevitably getting dragged into the moral morass of trying to reconcile the Marley’s preachings of “All Eldians are wicked” with the living contradictions of his fellow cadets (but more on that later.) 

Reiner's way of dealing with what he's done is probably the most tragic of the three. He gets up close and personal with his fellow cadets, thanks to either a naturally charming personality, really great acting skills, or the dissociative personality he’s acquired from the trauma of murdered hundreds of people. Many were surprised to learn that a lot of Reiner's feelings and actions within the 104 were nothing more than a 'soldier' persona created due to the trauma and regret of his actions that caused the death of thousands of people.

It's easy to point a finger and call a fake every time Reiner has tried to grieve with the SC but could it really all be a lie? While yes, maybe there were instances where Reiner was aware of what was happening and acted, I'm sure there were other times where his soldier persona took over and truly felt the sorrow and anger shared by his teammates. Switches between personality disorders are triggered by events or memories that bring recollection of trauma to the one experiencing it. After a "switch", that person has no recollection of their thoughts or actions during the episode as it's a whole different person.

Focusing more on Bertholdt and Reiner's relationship with the cadets, despite the isolation and split personality, they state that they were not lying during their time as 'soldiers'. Their time in the cadet corps was probably the best of time of their life. Shadis’ training probably seemed merciful when compared to what they had to go through with the Marley military. And it would be impossibly hard not to make friends when you live with people for three years. Naturally, they had to deny their ‘warrior’ selves for a while; it made it easier to live with themselves, sharing so many moments in the 104. But despite this, they needed to complete their mission. You can’t completely override brainwashing with a few years of happiness. 

Going back a bit and following age profiles, Bertholdt and Reiner attacked Shinganshina somewhere between the ages of 10-12. About as old/same age as Eren, Mikasa, and Armin when the walls were attacked. They were children when they murdered an entire district of people. What 11 year old child do you know that would do that by their own volition?

Clearly, there’s some sort of “brainwashing” at work. And it’s clear that that’s the case based off of the military-industrial complex of the Marley state. The Marley people (or the leaders at least) continue to feel the wound of wrong done to them hundreds of years ago by Eldians. They refuse to let go of the past, and insist upon making war instead of making amends. But, back when the conflict started, the most powerful weapon at their disposal was the power of the Titans, which could only be inherited by Eldians. So, how’re the Marley gonna get use it? 

Simple: make the living conditions of the Eldians living in your territory absolutely miserable, and then create a program where people can gain social benefits by volunteering their children to become the next batch of Titan warriors. Because people will do anything to survive, right? Let’s be honest, there’s definitely brainwashing propaganda used somewhere in there too, making the adults believe in Marley’s cause as well as the children. 

Well, the children are another story. Children’s brains are still developing, making them more susceptible to new ideologies, no matter how dangerous. If a child is told from a young age that a certain group of people are evil, and they’re given no examples/information from the other perspective, of course they’re going to grow up with the same belief that’s been fed to them. And it’s clear Marley’s feeding these warrior kids with the ideology that Eldians are pure evil and need to be eradicated. Does it matter that the kids themselves are Eldian? No. As stated above, they’re wired to be loyal to Marley, even if that means fighting against their own people. And even once they realize what’s happening, it’s too late to turn around. What’s done can’t be undone. 

When these children were sent to the walls, they were sent with the idea that the people within them, much like themselves, were the children of evil. Both Bertholdt and Reiner said it at different instances during their mission.

Even though Bertholdt ultimately claimed that they were not evil, the people within the walls still needed to die and Bertholdt didn't say that out of malice. He truly believed that it was what was right and what would save them. Looking at the newer Warriors now, Gabi seems to share the same ideologies as the originals. Back to the mission that they need to accomplish. After all the time they spent getting to know who the people within the walls really were, they still needed to complete their mission. Even when they learned that the Eldians within the walls were not ‘evil,’ they couldn’t just go back to Marley and say ‘Hey, we can’t do this.’ 

That brings us to the new batch of warrior candidates in Chapter 91. That’s probably the most telling piece of semi-backstory we’ve gotten for the Titan Trio. Here we see a group of young kids in a trench, trying to prove that they have what it takes to become Marley’s warriors by killing Eldians. Which they happen to be. It’s a weird concept, and these new kids seem to be struggling to understand that. Falco saves an Eldian soldier, and is genuinely hurt when the man refuses to be helped by them, calling them “demons.” Because that’s what they are to the Eldians they’re fighting: they’re traitors to their own race, helping the enemy destroy their own people. That’s incredibly hard for a child to understand. And they’re just barely on the cusp of understanding it, as the Marley soldiers are still shoving their ideals down their throats, cramming the kids’ heads with the same kind of talk of ‘us vs. them’ that they imparted to RBA. And it’s working. Here’s a group of young kids, willing to die to prove that they were worthy of inheriting the Titan’s power. This is what Reiner, Annie, and Bertholdt had to go through. And they proved themselves worthy of it. 

This has interesting implications for Reiner’s line to Bertholdt: “You’re supposed to be the strongest.” Does this mean that Bertholdt ‘won’ their training exercise, proved himself to be the strongest of the four (because they had Berick at this time too)? If so, why was he so weak-willed when he got to the cadet corps? What changed? 

If I had to guess, I’d say it’s the emotional weight of wiping out an entire district of people at the age of 11. It’s very apparent that both Bertholdt and Reiner, (and to some extent Annie,) are traumatized by their mission. (I say Annie less so because she wasn’t involved in breaking the wall, but that’s only a minor condition, seeing as though she’s still very affected by seeing all the bodies in Trost.) They don’t know what to do but follow it blindly. And even once they open their eyes, see what’s actually going on, they don’t know how to stop it. Annie gives up. Reiner's personality splits. Bertholdt accepts that life is hell and is resigned to kill all his friends in order to get them out.

Think about that for a moment, please. Bertholdt wanting to kill the Survey Corps in the Return to Shinganshina was not out of malice or wicked intent. It was out of mercy. He wants to kill them to let them escape from the hell the world has become. He doesn’t want to kill them, he’s never wanted to kill anyone. But that’s the mission he’s been given, and if a child is given a mission like that, the world has to be pretty depraved. Bertholdt wants out, and wants his friends out too. He knew his life had an expiration date, and didn’t expect to die in Shinganshina. But his goal there was to end the mission and go home. 

I’ve said it before, but one of the lines that touches me the most in the series is Bertholdt’s “This world is cruel” before transforming in Shinganshina. I think it’s so important that it mirrors Mikasa’s “The world is cruel but also beautiful,” but drops the beauty part. Because for Bertholdt, all beauty in life has been denied. There is nothing good about the world. Bertholdt’s life is defined by loss, the irreparable kind of loss that eliminates any hope of a future. Mikasa has hope; Bertholdt has none. And everything that was good has been taken away from him. He lost his family when they (willingly or not,) volunteered him to become a shifter. He lost his will power and confidence after breaking the wall. He lost his life for Marley’s mission. He lost his friends in the 104th when they found out the truth about his identity. Another line that always gets me too is the “It wasn’t a lie!” during the fight with the Armored Titan, when Armin, Jean, and Connie are yelling at Bertholdt through the Armored Titan’s hand. Bertholdt’s exclamations in that moment, all of them really, are so scared and hurt, so genuinely human. “It wasn’t all a lie!” “Who do you think wants to kill people?” “Somebody, please find us.” These aren’t the words of a cold blooded killer. They’re the words of a teenager, lost and confused and unable to handle the blood on his hands. Blood that he was forced to shed by the Marley government. Not because he was an innately evil being intent on killing thousands of people, his own people, mind you. 

That’s another thing. All the Titan Trio really wanted was to go home. Just like EMA. But while EMA’s obstacle to home was reclaiming Shinganshina from the titans, the Titan Trio’s hurdle was their mission. Which failed pretty royally. 

Now, we have a few loose ends to add, so we apologize for the shift in focus. 

First, there’s Reiner in the recent chapters. The few words said by Reiner in chapter 92 truly show the feelings and resentment towards the walls and it's people.He's finally reached the end of his journey because his life is coming to an end. While completing his final mission, there are new recruits being trained to inherit his titan. Again, nothing but a pawn being wasted away and replaced after 13 years.

To him, the walls are to blame. They were sent out on a mission to kill everyone within them and thought out the way, he lost two of his friends. They killed thousands of innocent people for that selfish reason and after being saved yet again, he garners hatred and anger for what the walls caused.

Another implication to add in here, that I don’t know where to put otherwise, is the topic of Marco. People were outraged to find out that these three were behind Marco’s death. But we have to look at this objectively. What were they supposed to do, let Marco go tell someone what he heard? Jeopardize their mission? That’s just stupid. Sure, what they did was awful, but it’s not like Levi, Hanji, or EMA would’ve let him live either if the roles were reversed. In fact, we’ve seen our main characters torture people for less. It’s all a matter of perspective here, people. This is a world of gray morality. The ‘good’ guys aren’t all good, and the ‘bad’ guys aren’t all bad. 

Also, it’s very clear that Marco’s death severely impacted the Titan Trio. Annie sobbed the whole time. Bertholdt was quieter than usual. Reiner, who orchestrated most of it, was so traumatized by it that he snapped from warrior to soldier in an instant upon seeing his friend suffering. There is no way that one could argue that they weren’t affected by Marco’s death, that they wanted to do it. Again, they had no choice. Now, it’s arguable that Reiner shouldn’t have forced Annie to do it. That was a pretty shitty thing to do. But, we have to remember that Reiner’s personality has split by this point. We don’t really know warrior Reiner’s motivations for forcing Annie to “prove” herself. Maybe she didn’t go through training the traditional way, and her loyalty is thus in question. Maybe there’s implications behind it that we don’t understand, seeing as though the backstory for these three is still missing. But it’s clear that warrior Reiner is in full control at that moment, and all he’s thinking about it getting rid of the evidence of their mission, which is unfortunately a human being. In summary: Marco’s death was a tragedy that broke their hearts to commit, but they had no other way around it. 

Another consideration: Ymir. It paints a bigger picture when we think about Ymir returning with Bertholdt and Reiner to their hometown. We took a very short lived glance at Ymir's backstory and we learned so much about this girl within a simple letter. Through his his, we learned about her simulated affiliation with a cult dedicated to the founder Ymir. We learned about her punishment for being part of it; she was pelted with rocks and hatred from the Marley citizens alongside her followers and later turned into mindless titans. For sixty years, this girl lived in an endless nightmare until the Warrior boys crossed paths with her. Aside from her gratitude for what they had done, she knew that those boys returning to their hometown empty handed would result in punishment. Yet she walks into the lion’s den anyway.

Final considerations. We’ve read some theories and things on here that we just want to share our opinion on. 

1. Annie’s Redemption Arc. The two of us personally agree that Annie does not need ‘redemption’ per say, only peace with herself. Seeing her side with the SC would be confusing. Sure, the SC has no reason to trust her, but she has zero reason to trust them in return. She knows they're against her, she knows they used her friendship with Armin to trick her. She knows that she can trust absolutely no one in this world. So we don't really see her "switching" sides per say. But we can see her stepping away from the conflict all together, like Ymir in a way. She wants nothing to do with either side, and doesn't side with anyone but herself. We also wouldn't be surprised if she's used as a vehicle for backstory or used as Titan fodder; wouldn’t even be surprised if they executed her after getting any info they can. She doesn't necessarily need redemption, per say, but to find peace with herself, whatever that may be. Maybe it is switching sides, maybe it's accepting her failure and moving forward. But it is SC centric (as the whole narrative is) to insist that she needs to redeem herself. It's kind of impossible for her at this point, and I don't think she owes them anything after the deceptive tricks they pulled on her. Plus, there’s the issue of her father. He was the last thing she thought of when she fell. She wouldn’t just give him up to work with the people who stabbed her in the back. 

2. Reiner and the Survey Corps. We don’t think reconciliation between them is possible, and making any "amends" with the SC at this point would be traitorous to the friendship he had with Bertholdt. We don't think that there's a chance that he would anyways. Especially with what we saw of him in this last chapter. Reiner’s incredibly resentful. We don't know how a meeting with them is going to play out (if he makes it to meeting them anyways) but having him tell THEIR story would be a good end to him (but let's be honest he shouldn't die, Isayama) We don't want him to die pathetically or wishing to be heard... We want him to die in peace with himself. They need to talk for sure, Reiner needs to explain the warriors’ backstory. But under no circumstances would he willingly reconcile with them now. The people who’ve tried to kill him repeatedly, AND took Annie, AND killed Bertholdt?! No. That’s incredibly unrealistic. 

I hope that reading these thoughts by @bertltolt and I have helped shed some light on Annie, Reiner, and Bertholdt for you. I hope that you’ll consider them as more than villains. I hope that you’ll see them for the amazingly complex characters that they are. And even if none of this changes your mind, thank you for reading this, for taking the time to try to see the other side. 

And to close, two cents worth of salt: 

(Note: you don’t have read this. I just... was in a salty mood and felt the need to express these things. You really don’t have to.)

1. Can we also talk about Bertholdt’s death? Can we talk about the fact that this fandom was so focused on Armin vs. Erwin that no one realized that Bertholdt was dying regardless? We lost the first major antagonist of the series, and no one batted an eye. Why is that? Cause he’s an antagonist? That’s a lot of tunnel vision there, friends. Also, this has a lot of implications for Reiner’s development since Shinganshina. He lost his best friend. The person that meant the most to him in the world. He knows Zeke left Bertholdt behind to die. He knows he’ll never see Bertholdt or Annie again. That’s why his line in Chapter 92 about the walls disgusting him is so powerful. The walls took everything from him: his childhood, his friends in the 104th, his people that meant everything to him, even his mind. Reiner has lost everything. And the only reason he’s still fighting is because he has nothing left to lose, and there’s no way that he can get out from under Zeke/Marley’s thumb now. He won’t have to be under it much longer anyway, expiration date and all... Wow. Okay. I’m sad now. 

2. I’ve seen a lot of people upset that we have seen EMA and Levi for two chapters. Oh gee. Wonder what that feels like. Reiner and Bertholdt didn’t appear for 40 some chapters. Ymir and Annie haven’t appeared in longer than that, save for flashbacks. You can survive a chapter or two more without seeing the main protagonists. Expand your horizons a bit.