mfkworld

[gabriel-xander]

I Wish You Died Instead Ch. 7

[Scaramouce x Fem!Reader]

A/N: I started writing this before all of his lore came out/Before the last Sumeru Archon quest, so there will be a handful of inconsistency later on. My advice to you? Just go with it!

{Also on Quotev, Ao3, and Wattpad under Gabriel Xander}

Chapter 7: He Totally Loves Your Letters

Fiddling nervously with your hands, you sit silently at the table while Childe, Zhongli, Kazuki... and two other people talk with each other about the recent passing of Rex Lapis, the God of Geo, and, like, 50 other fancy titles.

You're not gonna lie, his "death" was a little funny to you. Honestly, it kind of looked like Lady Ningguang was the one who did it. She did this whole performance thing and shot this power into the sky. Two seconds later, a great dragon fell out of the sky dead as hell.

No one seems to think about it like that, though.

Anyway, the two other guests that Zhongli and Childe were talking to were:

The Traveler and Paimon.

They are the man(s), the myth, the legend...

The Traveler, who introduced himself as Aether, was actually very pretty. You first confused him as a young man, a potential little baby, a little son you can spoil because he's just a little guy. But alas, that is not the case with him. He looked a little sad when he had to correct you about his age.

You and Kazuki were already with Zhongli at Liuli Pavilion when Childe arrived with Aether and Paimon. That's when you officially met them both, and Aether's aura was one of someone who has lived and experienced more than you can ever imagine. Aether wasn't very talkative, instead the weird fairy, Paimon, did most of it on his behalf.

Kazuki puts a hand on your bouncing thigh, giving you a passive look. Calm down, he's telling you.

You smile at him.

You were only nervous since you were unsure if the Traveler and Paimon knew of your true identity, and you didn't want to go around announcing that if you could help it.

"In fact," Zhongli looks at you with a smile, "[Y/n], why don't you accompany us? You have always shown interest in my work before, and I can allow you to witness it firsthand just this once if you'd like."

Wait, what? You were not paying attention.

"Uh, I–Sorry, I zoned out," You laugh nervously, "What did you want my help with?"

"It's not like you to be so out of focus," Kazuki teases, nudging your leg.

You scoff, "Leave me alone, I zoned out for not even a minute."

Childe chuckles, "The Traveler, Paimon, and Mr. Zhongli were just discussing the fulfillment of the memorial service for the passing of Rex Lapis. I agree with him, I think it'd be a good opportunity for you to learn. You do always ask him about it, after all."

You laugh sheepishly, embarrassed at how easily they keep revealing that.

It's not that you're super interested in the work of a funeral consultant, more so the stories Zhongli always shared about the clients. He always knows so much, and he's so knowledgeable about that dead person's life, and you don't know why, but you just love hearing about it.

You wouldn't consider yourself a "dang I love people" type of person, but life itself is so wonderful to you. You love hearing about life through a person who seemed like he experienced so much of it.

After all, your fascination with life itself is the reason why you became a Fatui, to begin with. You're given resources to travel the world and study the land under the guise of doing work. You especially love learning about the history of Teyvat, the Abyss, Celestia, and Khaenri'ah, kind of like lore hunting.

"Is-Is it really okay if I come, Mr. Zhongli?"

Still, you have to ask. Childe never hid his identity from Zhongli, so you never bothered either, he knows you three are of Fatuus. Is it really okay with him if you go along knowing that there's the possibility that your superior will ask something suspicious of you?

La Signora hasn't yet, but still. Surely he knows?

He nods with a smile, "Of course. I wouldn't have offered otherwise."

You light up and sit up straighter, "Then yeah! Of course! Thank you for having me!"

"Hm," The brunette nods, "Now then if we have agreed, come with me. We will speak of the details as we walk."

It wasn't until after your group left (leaving poor Kazuki with Childe) that the ginger asked his subordinate a question.

"Do you think... [Y/n] would be upset with me if I had asked her to be a double agent while with Mr. Zhongli?"

Kazuki nods immediately, "Yes, My Liege. Unfortunately, you two are friends now. Though she tries not to show it, she is quite sensitive. Especially when it comes to the topic of friends. Why do you think before meeting you, she was only friends with me?"

"I just thought she was a loner," Childe raises a brow.

"No. Her philosophy is: that betrayal hurts because it can only come from the people you care about. And in this line of business, that is inevitable. Now that you are her friend, you fall under that category," The Pyro vision user hums as he sloshes around the drink in his hand, "I personally have no issue with it, but for [Y/n], never mix friends and business with her."

Tartaglia had to think to himself for a moment, wondering if it was a good idea to become your friend at all. He doesn't regret it, but it does make situations like these more difficult. It took a while for you to even want to warm up to him, so... No, he doesn't want to risk it so soon by asking you to spy on your guys' mutual friend.

"Wait," Childe frowns at Kazuki, "What did you mean earlier when you said, "Unfortunately we're friends?"

The man with light brown eyes smirks very slightly, nearly unnoticeable, "Because you are a Harbinger, My Liege. And your task here requires violent actions, remember? You're going to do something that upsets her, and she's going to cut you off. It's inevitable."

...

Childe slams his forehead on the table.

Well... fuck.

————

You lightly smack your cheek, blinking hard to keep yourself awake so late into the night so you don't pass out in the middle of reading.

You're lucky you managed to befriend Jifang, the Boss of Wawen Bookhouse before you knew she was the boss of the place. This ended up working out for you when you wanted to read a book, she'd allow you to "rent" it out rather than a full purchase. She even trusted you to stick around to keep reading even after she closed shop for the day. You'd say you're doing a good job maintaining her trust since you never stole and you always made sure to honor her payment methods.

"So even the Salt God stood amongst the other Gods before the Archon War..." You mutter, reading the next passage out loud, "...before being ruthlessly murdered by one of her own followers."

Holy shit, that's fucked up! Just because she was kind, she had to die? But that doesn't make any sense. If this was during the Archon War, and the God of Salt was technically considered a God of Liyue, why didn't Rex Lapis help her out? Or at least, helped her people so they didn't feel like they had to kill their own God?

You hum to yourself as you keep reading the book: "Her remains are likely to be found somewhere in the ruins of the area known as "Sal Terrae."

The rest of the Volume goes on to talk about the "Flower Toss", or more commonly known in Liyue and Mondstadt, as the "Flower Ball", the God of Salt handed her people a bunch of flowers as a blessing to them. Or at least, if not a blessing, then a small gesture of comfort to stave off the bitterness of the Archon War.

You close shut Volume 1 of Customs of Liyue, neatly putting it back on the shelf from where you got it. Volumes 2 and 3 are about the Rite of Decension and Silk Flowers, both of which you know have nothing to do with the Salt God.

You skim through the spines of the books, trying to find something else of relevance. It's a bit hard to read in the dark, and the only light you have is a lantern above illuminating a small area.

"Ah, here we go. Hopefully, this has something," You muse to yourself, "Volumes 1 and 2 of Records of the Gallant."

Spoilers: it was a fucking bust.

You sigh in irritation as you put the books back after a quick skim. You're starting to get a headache from reading in the dark for hours. Dawn will soon arrive in a few hours, making you dread today's assignments.

You stifle through your Mora bag, pulling out... shit, how many books did you end up reading tonight? You read the full series of Customs of Liyue and Records of the Gallant. Not to mention that you had a quick indulgence of the Mondstadt, Liyue, Inazuma, and Sumeru Teyvat Travel Guides before you were on a spontaneous lore hunt. It was 1,000 Mora for each Volume, and 2,500 Mora for each Travel Guide Volume. (Mind you, this is all half-price since you're "renting" them, and not fully purchasing them for permanent ownership.)

You pout very sadly, parting with 15,000 Mora. You put it in a jar that Jifang leaves out for you to put the Mora in.

Liyue's architect and structure still fucking confuse you to this day, so it takes you a whole fucking hour to get back to the Northland Bank. It seemed that Vlad's shift was over, since now Nadia, the guard of the Northland Bank for the night shift, was outside standing at attention.

You smile at her, and she smiles back when she recognizes you. You think it's funny other Fatuus have a hard time recognizing you without your mask on. You don't like wearing it out when you're not on the clock though, and you haven't been scolded for it so you guess it's fine.

"Hey, there, Nadia. Is Ekaterina still here?" You ask her, holding back a yawn.

"Oh, good evening, [L/n]. Yes, she should still be here. She had a busy day today, you know. So she might be a little cranky," The girl with light brown hair tells you, "Oh! Before you go in, I have news about my new pen-pal!"

"Oh? Do we finally have more information about them?" You smile teasingly.

"Yeah! He's also a guard here at the Northland Bank, but he's on duty during the day, while I'm on duty at night," Nadia nervously pushes a lock of hair behind her ear, "To tell you the truth, I don't even know his name."

Dude... She is literally talking about Vlad. You literally know Vlad.

Still, it's actually pretty cute that she managed to get to him. Vlad is always dry when talking to you, and he never cared for socializing with the people here. You decide to keep his identity a secret from Nadia, you think it'll be cuter for her this way to learn herself.

"One time, I accidentally left the letter I had written to my brother at our post. And then perhaps the other guard mistook it as a letter I left for him. He even wrote me a reply. I could read between the lines and tell that he was probably very lonely, so I thought it would be good along with it to help him this way. But eventually, writing to him also became a part of my life. I've even started looking forward to receiving his letters, hehe...!"

You feel a weird, bittersweet emotion from her words. You wonder if your letters to Scaramouch help him feel any better, wherever he is at the moment. He never wrote back to you, but you're still dedicated to writing to him often.

You... You hope he also looks forward to receiving your letters.

"That's good, Nadia! I hope things keep going well with this mysterious pen-pal," You wink at her, nudging her arm, "Who knows, maybe he's very handsome, too."

She blushes under her mask, though you can barely see it. "I-I... Don't you have to talk to Ekaterina?! Ge-Get going...!"

"Alright, alright," You pull open the door, "Have a good night, Nadia."

"Ye-Yes, you too."

Poor Ekaterina was sitting at the counter doing late-night paperwork. You don't know exactly what her job entails, but you have a funny feeling Childe makes her job more stressful.

"Hello, Ekaterina!" You greet her as cheerfully as you can because you have a feeling that your happiness will make her annoyed.

And you were right.

She glares at you and you feel it through her mask, "[L/n]. What. Is. Wrong. With. You."

"Want me to go alphabetically, or chronologically?"

"...???"

"Never mind," You shake your head, "I want to talk to your boss. Is Lord Childe here?"

"Do you not realize what time it is? He's already retired for the night hours ago, so you'll have to try your luck tomorrow."

"Riiiigt, right. I figured, but I thought I should take my chances anyway. Anyway, I wanted to take out a small loan for myself. I'm finally cashing in my vacation starting tomor–Uh, I guess starting today, I mean."

"Wait. A vacation? That's a bit last minute, isn't it?"

"Yeah, I guess. But I already received permission from the Fair Lady, so I'm being responsible, don't worry."

"Yes, I figured as much, otherwise you wouldn't have bothered. But still, don't you want to wait? I mean, the Rite of Parting is the day after tomorrow. Don't you want to stick around for it?

You furrow your brows and cross your arms, "Not to be callous, but no. There's something else I'm more interested in, and I know I'll be way too restless to wait any longer so I'll just do it now."

Ekaterina looks put off by your attitude since you're usually more amendable to reason but it seems that doesn't apply whenever it comes to your own personal interests/research. Ah, but she knows that Childe wouldn't want you to go since he likes you, he's admitted to that before in passing. And Kazuki might have some reservations about it as well, or maybe, he'd even want to go with you.

"I-I see. Well... Alright, then," Ekaterina says with a slight sigh, "Give me a moment to finish up here, and I'll get to the paperwork for the withdrawal."

"Sure, take your time," You smile, "Actually, I'll be leaving now to get sleep. We can get this sorted out in a few hours after some rest, right?"

"Yes, that will be fine. Have a good rest, [L/n]."

"You too, Ekaterina."

You turn around to leave, but you don't get to the door.

"Ah���Wait! I almost forgot!"

You turn around at Ekaterina's sudden shout. You walk back curiously as she shuffles through a stack of papers from behind her desk. You don't rush her, waiting patiently as you lean on the desk. She picks up a small stack of papers, and dreadfully, you believe that it is all yours. To your luck, she stifles through them and separates a slightly thick envelope wrapped in a thin, red string before handing them to you.

Thank God.

You smile and mutter out thanks, taking the envelope from the woman before leaving the bank. You recognize the envelope as being the common ones used in Snezhnaya, more precisely, used at the Zapolyarny Palace. There wasn't a wax seal or a name though, only that it was addressed to you: [Y/n] [L/n], written very neatly. Just from holding it, you can feel there are other papers inside it.

Walking back to the place you and the other Fatuus are staying at takes another about two hours because Liyue is fucking huge. You left the bank around 23:35, but you don't get to your location until 1:42. You hate it here. However, the air is crisp and cool, so you didn't mind the walk too much. There were only a few people out since there were some shops open this late at night. You wave to a few you pass by regularly, though you wouldn't say you're on friendly terms with them, you see each other often enough to at least say hi.

Your identity as a Fatui isn't exactly a secret, so, commonly, you'll get the cold shoulder and unwarranted disrespect. However, you're friendly and outwardly honest enough that you managed to get a good majority of Liyue to like you... Enough.

You still experience distrust and discrimination because of your occupation. You guess there's just no helping it.

Entering your room, you make sure to lock the door behind you and shuck off your coat. You tilt your head side to side, flopping down on your bed face first.

You're ready to pass out then and there, but you're curious about the mail in your hands. You push yourself up and kick off your shoes, moving further up the bed so you can sit cross-legged.

There are separate letters inside it, one addressed to La Signora, one addressed to Tartaglia, and one to yourself. Strange, the main mail was addressed to you, so why did you get Signora's and Childe's letters as well? Was it a mistake?

Either way, you don't want to get in trouble and risk it, so you'll only open yours. You'll just have to make sure to give these out to their proper owners in the morning after you sleep. There isn't a wax seal, so it was easy enough to retrieve the hand-written letter.

————

06 . 08 . XXXX

To My Faithful Servant,

I hope you haven't been completely useless without me for the past six months. It HAS been six months, right? At least for you anyway, but that's beside the point.

I've finally returned to Snezhnaya as of this morning, though I'll be staying at Zapolyarny Palace for another month to complete some work for the Doctor. For your own safety, I advise you to stay where you are in Liyue until I have time to get you myself.

Actually, I think it'd be better if you start working under Tartaglia until then, I don't trust that witch as far as I can throw her. I'll write up an appeal for you to give over to Signora and Tartaglia separately. I'll make sure to include them in the letter before sending it out.

Anyway, you can stop worrying so much. If I knew you'd send letters this frequently, I would've just brought you instead. But now that I think about it, you probably would give me a big headache the whole time, so never mind.

If you want to keep sending your pointless letters, then be my guest. I won't bother replying, but at least that way I know you're still alive and I won't need to hire a new second in command.

You're extremely lucky I happen to find you tolerable. When I see you again, be ready to be put to work.

From "Your Dearest,"

Scaramouche

————

You scoff out a laugh, get up from your bed, and hurry to your desk.

Fuck that guy, you're writing back immediately. As a matter of fact, you don't give a fuck, you're going to be sappy as fuck because you'll admit, you miss that cuck. From the date, he sent this last week. If you send it first thing tomorrow, then he should receive it in a week as well.

————

Scaramouche sighs quietly, closing the door to his chambers gently as he simply lacks the energy for anything else. He's finding himself to be more monotonous as of late, maybe due to the temporary routine of his life. It hasn't even been two weeks since he returned to the Zapolyarny Palace and he's already getting bored of his time here.

He has to endure the Doctor's experiments since returning, doing his own fucking paperwork because while he usually has you doing it, he doesn't trust his other subordinates with it.

He does nothing but train, endure experiments, paperwork, and repeat.

And now it's time for the last part of his routine.

Paperwork.

He sits down at his desk, glaring at the stacks of paper with hatred and disdain, snatching his fountain pen aggressively to get started-

The top of the stack was an envelope with a wax seal he recognized immediately. He drops the pen and carefully (but eagerly) takes the letter and unseals the wax with practiced habit. Scaramouche doesn't realize he's smiling as the familiar scent of your perfume gets stronger when he takes out the letter. He doesn't understand why, but you've always done that with the letters.

He can't say he hates it though.

Ah, the date is from last week. Did you send this the day you got his letter?

————

06 . 15 . XXXX

To My Dearest, Loveliest, Most Criminally Insane Boss,

It's wonderful to hear from you, My Lord! It's okay to admit that you missed me too, I promise to keep it a secret.

I can't lie, I was very happy to hear that you are okay and back at the Palace that I hate spelling. I hope the Doctor hasn't been too overbearing for you, I know how much he displeases you and that's putting it lightly. Let us both pray the days go by fast for us so this month can be over.

I imagine you must have wonderful stories to tell from your time away, I expect nothing less from the mighty Harbinger such as yourself!

...

Are you getting annoyed yet? Haha! Sorry, maybe being in Liyue for this long has put me in too good of a mood lately. There are so many fascinating things about this place and so many things to learn about. Actually, tomorrow I'm taking a short vacation to visit Sal Terrae with (hopefully) my companion, Kazuki. Did you know that the God of Salt was most likely killed by her own people? Well, that's actually why I want to visit it, to confirm it myself. I doubt I'll make any paper about it, this is just to sedate my own curiosity.

I just realized you won't care for this... I don't have the energy to rewrite this though so tough luck.

Anyway, later this morning (it will already have passed by the time you get this) will be the Rite of Parting for Rex Lapis. I already told you in another letter, but that bitch dead as hell. Not to sound disrespectful, but I'm not NEARLY as interested in that as I am for the God of Salt. Hopefully, Lord Childe and Kazuki can tell me about it, I'm sure they'll both be participating.

Sorry for rambling, I tend to do that too much in all my letters don't I? Why is that? Probably because it's easier to talk to you like this when I'm not in pimp-slapping range. And I can't see the disgust on your face because I can't shut the fuck up. Sorry, ignore that.

I'll wrap this up now. You said I don't have to keep writing to you, but then I'd be making your life too easy, and we can't have that, can we?

Take care, and I'll write again next week with another update.

Your Wonderful, Favorite, Totally Amazing Servant,

[Y/n]

[L/n]

————

The Balladeer shakes his head with a smile, opening the top drawer to put it alongside the other letters he's kept. Though, he pauses right as he's about to set it down.

He sets it back on the table and opens up another drawer where he keeps his papers and envelopes.

It'd just be rude to not write back. Not that he particularly cares if he hurts your feelings or not, but this is a lot better than doing fucking paperwork.

————

06 . 21 . XXXX

To My Wonderful, Favorite, Totally Amazing Servant,

These titles are getting ridiculous, and frankly, too tiresome to write.

You're right about one thing, I DO miss you... I miss you doing all my paperwork for me, that's for damn sure. I never realized how tiresome and boring it was to do this, is this what you go through? If so, Thank GOD I won't have to do it for much longer. Once you return to my side, you're going to be very busy catching up on all the work I don't want to do.

I'm afraid I don't have anything worth sharing on my time away, so I'll have to disappoint you with that. From what you've told me, that seems to be the complete opposite of your time in Liyue. You certainly seem happier there than in Snezhnaya, perhaps you ought to stay there.

I at least know you tend to get too caught up in your research. If I didn't know any better, I could've mistaken you for a Sumeru Scholar. Maybe the Haravat Darshan would take you eagerly, though I don't know much about the Akademiya to make a proper guess.

Why don't you give me a brief essay on the God of Salt as a practice assessment once you finish your investigation? I'll determine for you whether you'll get accepted or not; I figure you'll be done with Sal Terrae once you receive this. But be warned, I won't hold back so don't disappoint me with your essay, or I'll be forced to give you a failing grade.

What did Childe tell you about the Rite of Parting? Did anything interesting happen, or is it as boring as all funerals?

You know, you're not as irritating as everyone else who works for me. If you made it sound interesting, then perhaps I can tolerate you telling me more of your knowledge in person.

No promises, though.

By the time you get this, I might already be on the way to Liyue. How about this instead of waiting for me in Liyue, why don't you start making your way to Mondstadt? The Jester wants me to do something for him in the nation of Freedom, so it'll be less of a hassle to meet you there instead. I can trust you to travel alone and make it there alive, right?

I hate to be disappointed in you over something so simple.

Your Dearest, Loveliest, Most Cri

Ugh, like I said. Too much of a hassle.

Sincerely,

Scaramouche

————————

A/N: I actually read ALL books of ​​​​​​"Customs of Liyue" and "Records of the Gallant" from the Genshin Archives in game to get the information I wrote down. Not only that, I was walking place to place to determine the lore-accurate time it takes to get from Point A to Point B. It's a thankless job but it must be done.

[shitzone]

Okay, for father's day(lol this has been in my drafts for so long) I rambled A LOT about the relationship between Erato and Nahida on the self ship discord server I'm on and now I actually want to also talk about it here. When I was talking about it there I was mostly talking about the kaverato au, but to be honest most of this also carries into the hairato au so do with that what you will.

The closest I could get to describing their relationship with the fewest words possible is adoptive daughter dynamic, though it goes much further than that. Even if Erato obviously can't be her biological father, I consider Nahida to still be inexperienced when it comes to the human world and needs much guidance so Erato is somewhat of a caretaker to her.

Now while I still don't have anything coherent written for Erato's role in the Sumeru archon quest, I do actually have a vague idea for how it would go down together with some key motives, one of the most important ones being the motive of freedom. You see, Erato was too someone who was practically trapped, grew up as an orphan before being taken into the Akademiya and basically indoctrinated before he could even read or write. Not gonna go into it too much because like many of things flowing in my brain it still hasn't been fully formed, but I think that you can see where it's going form here. While I still am not sure what exactly Erato is I know that he would have a pretty high position in the Akademiya and that it would be something to do with the akasha system. Blah blah blah, he feels trapped, he is basically held at the that place by the throat as the sages keep putting more pressure onto him(he was supposed to be the next to take the position of the Grand Sage) until he finally begins to see the cracks forming. That's when he speaks to Nahida, grudgeful at first until he realizes that the two of them are not that different at all. That's basically the event that puts the archon quest in motion, Nahida and Erato working together to take down the rule of the sages. That's where the narrative parallels are.

Post archon quest the dynamic starts getting a bit awkward. Nahida is still new to guiding the nation of Sumeru so Erato as someone with much experience in the Akademiya is there to help her handle things, basically a sort of an adviser. The awkward past is that Erato actually feels very subservient to her because she is essentially his goddess, but Nahida actually admires him a lot and thinks that he is actually the more knowledgeable one in the relationship. He is there with her at every important event being super serious all the time while Nahida tires to cheer him up and calm him down a little, basically trying to undo all of the sage's conditioning.

Now the funny part to me is that Kaveh isn't in Sumeru at all during the archon quest because he is on a business trip or something so when he comes back Erato is essentially just "we have a daughter now." Also while Erato has taught Nahida many things directly, she feels like she learns the most watching him interact with Kaveh(/Alhaitham depending on the au)(they're in denial). She sometimes plays a game of cupid and puts them in high tension scenarios hehe.

Anyways have I mentioned that Kaveh braids her hair...