#ashtonirwinmasterlist

[shittyfandomimagines]

Love Drought (A.I)

Word count: 979

Pure angst

Based off of Beyoncé’s “Love Drought” gif creds to owner

Please breathe, you know it’s what you need at this moment. Everything has fallen apart around you for days now, but damnit Y/n, you need to just desensitize right now.

Breathe.

“I’m trying, I’m trying so fucking hard to fix everything!” Ashton’s voice pleaded and I couldn’t help the bubble filled in my throat again, I’m about to vomit.

I have to swallow it down as I face my husband, I knew that this was either going to make or break us.

“Can you fix anything when you still act the same as you did the night you came home from to-touching her, having sex with someone else! Can you fix anything?” I yell for the first time since the day he told me, a month ago, and I can see him visibly flinch.

“I don’t understand what you mean, baby.” He takes a step forward with his hand extended, I take a giant step back, my hands shaking wildly.

Nothing hurt worse than the prickling tears in the corners of my raw eyelids, I’ve rubbed tears off of them so harshly for the past month.

“You came home that night, the night you did that with her, fine and happy! You acted as nothing happened nor that you cheated on your pregnant wife! You act like this didn’t happen at all and you’re just trying to heal a petty breakup like we had when we were teens.” I was sobbing as the words came out choked and stuttered.

“I don’t know how I’m supposed to act! You told me you’re willing to fix the marriage because we had a baby on the way, even though that night I didn’t know you were pregnant. You know I never meant to cause you this much pain.” He raised his voice too and I felt like I could just punch him repeatedly.

“You didn’t even act like you cared before you cheated! I let you parade all over my feelings for nothing! I tried to act tough and strong for a while before you came home that night, happier than I’d seen you in a while. I should’ve known something was up that night.” I shook my head, mostly talking to myself at that point.

“I was drunk off my ass, I cheated on you and I have all kinds of remorse for what I did to us.” He sighs and I felt the vomit rise again.

I knew he was drunk when he came home, but I’ve seen Ashton drunk off his ass when he had turned 21 while we were in America. I knew him when he was hammered, he wasn’t hammered that night. I’ve seen him drunker.

“You were drunk off your ass because you chose your band members and other friends over us! You chose to go out to a club!” I yelled at him once again, he was trying so hard to breathe normally.

“I chose my band because that is what puts out money. What pays the bills, puts a roof over your head, food in the fridge, and everything you ever wanted!” He lowers his voice.

“I wanted you! Every day for the past 7 years I’ve wanted you! I wouldn’t care if we were homeless and begging for food, you’ve always been what I need! I just wasn’t enough for you.” I had sniffled up the last of my tears, I don’t think I could cry enough to fill our love drought.

I stare at him as the house fell into silence, I never knew how bad it hurt to have your heart ripped out, but I wouldn’t wish this on my worst enemy. I could feel every inch of pain and suffering riddle it’s way through me.

“What did she give you that I didn’t?” I ask the burning question that’s been on the tip of my tongue for a month now.

“No we’re not doing this, you’re already hurt enough.” He shakes his head and that pissed me off more than anything.

“You have no decision in that anymore, tell me right now! You are killing me from the inside out by holding this in. Fucking tell me!” I was shouting so loud that my throat felt raw.

“She gave me that glimmer of new. She tried so hard to make herself known to me, she was fresh and there. I was drunk Y/n, I would never ever cheat on you if I was sober.” He cried for the first time since last week.

“If you loved me as much as you used to claim, you’d know damn well when to stop. Not even if you were flirting or whatever, you would’ve stopped the minute you found yourself lusting for her. Alcohol doesn’t determine when your love turns on/off. You. chose this, you made your bed so sleep in it. So don’t give me that shit.” Even I could feel the ice off of that statement.

He went to speak and I stopped him.

“And to say she paid attention to you is so damn selfish, Ashton! I spent months in this house when you decided to go on a festival tour. I called you every day for 6 months and I even flew out to you a month before it was over. You have no right to say that she was there, I was fucking there Ashton! I loved you, fucking still love you even though you betrayed our marriage!”

“I’m sorry! Okay! I know I’m stupid and dumb, I know the love we have for each other is astounding and I never should have strayed from that. I should chose you and I didn’t, there is never going be enough to satisfy your doubts. But I love you.”

The house fell silent again, this time I felt nervous.

“I don’t know how to replenish us.”

[shittyfandomimagines]

Adoration~blurb

Word count: 997

Fluffffff

GIF creds to owner

“When we go into town can we go to that one store? They sell those gummy bears that I love. Please!” I was so excited and Ashton just gave me a sly grin. “What?” I ask and he shakes his head. “They’re just gummy bears.” He says and I grab my heart. “Just gummy bears? Really?” I ask and he laughs.

“I’m kidding, of course, we can go by there and get some.” He reassures and I sigh contently.

“What else needs to go on our shopping list?” I ask and he shrugs. “We need milk I think.” He says and jots it down. “What about that one brand of sauce that you like? I can make some spaghetti tonight. We’ll need some noodles too.” I mention and he wrote it down.

“I love when you make spaghetti.” He admits, he seemed so happy about it. “Anything to please you.” I do a fake curtsy, he giggles loudly. “Anything else on the list?” He asks and I started to wrack my brain.

“Laundry detergent, face masks, oh and trash bags,” I say quickly, so many random items. He grabs his phone and wallet, putting them into his back pocket. He starts to come closer and more thoughts hit me.

“You said you need a battery for your watch, shaving cream, and more hair dye.” I blurt out and he stopped walking, turning to the counter to write down the rest of things I said. “Anything else, baby?” He asks and I pace around a little.

“Hamburger meat, chicken breasts for your moms birthday party, also decorations. You wanted some beer the other day and I forgot to bring it home. That’s it, I think.” I add to the list and he laughed more.

Our lives would be easier if we wrote down what we needed that day so when it was time to go out on our Saturdays, we’d be prepared. However, we’re forgetful people.

“Okay, if there’s anything else we can grab it there.” He smiles and I start to walk towards the door.

Right before I reach the handle, another thought hit me suddenly so I turn around quickly, my body hit his. “Cinnamon bread, you’ve been craving it for weeks and we always forget. I don’t want you to forget.” I exclaim and he had a huge grin.

He just kept looking down with a smile, he seemed amused yet intrigued. He looked up at me, his hazel eyes were like the movies, super sparkly and cliche. His grin became wider every second as he examined my confused face.

“What? Are you okay?” I ask and he laughs. “It’s just, you’re adorable. I literally have no idea what goes on in the pretty head of yours, I can always see when the wheels are turning.” He jokes and I pout.

“I just wanted to make sure you get the things you need, I know it’s annoying when you can’t remember what you need when we get into town.” I groan and he put his hand in mine.

“It’s just so cute to see you all caring and cute. I think it’s adorable and so loving, I like knowing you remember shit about me or what I’ve said.” He explains further and I smile.

“Of course I remember, I do know how to listen.” I sarcastically remark and he rolls his eyes. “I can’t tell if that was a jab at me or not.” He gripped my hips and pushed my body into his. I wrap my arms around his waist too.

“I mean if the shoe fits, Cinderella.” I joke and he started to giggle again. “You’re adorable, I swear.” He states as he grabs ahold of my cheeks. “I get that a lot.” I shrug my shoulders and he gasped dramatically.

“I refuse to acknowledge that last statement! I am the only to think you’re adorable, that is my thought only and no one else’s.” He scoffs antically. “I don’t know, my other 12 boyfriends think I’m adorable too.” I jokingly shrug once more.

“As long as I’m boyfriend #1, then I’m fine with any arrangement.” He jokes along and I smile. “You’re such a goof,” I tell him, he makes a smug look. “And you’re such a babe.” He winks and I roll my eyes.

I was expecting another joke or crack at the goof thing, but nothing came. I stare at him and he was searching my eyes longingly, I felt my cheeks heat up under his hands. “Baby, what?” I pout and he grins wider.

“I’m just so in love with you.” He sighs contently. He looks into my eyes and then at my lips, coming back up to my eyes. He connects our lips quickly and my heart was pounding, my breath was taken away.

He would detach our lips and then lean back on to peck my lips. “We’re going to be shopping until 10 o’clock and my gummy bear store closes at 9,” I mumble against him and he shrugs.

“Shopping and spaghetti don’t even sound good compared to right now.” He kisses my cheek and I push against his chest to detach myself.

“Man, I mention cinnamon bread and I’m suddenly being pounced on. We need to go before I mention that we’re out of salt.” I laugh loudly and open the door.

“Ugh, I express my love for you and all I receive back is buffoonery.” He yells childishly as he locks the door. I wait for him at the bottom step, my hand extended out for him.

He takes it in his and we walk toward the car. “I do love you Ash, a lot really. I know we’re both goofy a lot but I’m serious about my love for you. I wouldn’t even trade you for gummy bears.” I lean up to kiss his cheek.

“Fair enough, I would trade you for spaghetti, but you make the best kind so I’ll keep you.”

[shittyfandomimagines]

Pretty Damn Awesome

Word count: 2,697

Fluff, my heart can’t even

GIF creds to owner

I felt so giddy and happy, the rush of excitement flooded my body. I was honestly so nauseous just because of how much energy was building.

“You’re fucking pregnant!” My best friend shakes my arm a little, she came with me to the doctor because I was feeling a little queasy. I would’ve asked Ashton, but he was somewhere in the world doing interviews.

“I am, I’m fucking pregnant.” I started to cry happy tears and she engulfs me in a hug. “Hey, it’s just a baby, don’t be sad.” She rubs my back soothingly. “I know! I’m just so happy, I get to have my own baby and family.” I smile through the tears. “How are you going to tell Ash?” She asks and I shrug. “Well, he flies back tonight and we have dinner with his mom tomorrow night. Should I do it there?” I ask and she nods vigorously. “We need to find something cute to do.” She suggests and I nod along.

“Well, Mrs. Irwin, you are free to go. We looked at your blood work and it seems that your iron is a little low. We suggest some low-dose iron pills if you become anemic it can interfere with how small your baby can be.” The doctor comes back into the room and tells me, he hands me a slip that had the name of the medicine.

“Thank you, we were going by the store anyway.” I smile towards her and she nods. “Congratulations to you, just stop by the front desk to check out.” She shakes my hand before leaving the room. “I’m gonna search Pinterest for some ideas, you get to drive my dear. You’re no longer sick, you’re just pregnant.” My friend jokes and I roll my eyes.

—-

“What if we got like a vinyl record, like an old one that he probably won’t even know, we paint over the title; after that, we can put ‘for the record, I’m pregnant.’ It would be so cute.” Leslie suggests as we pull up to CVS. “Awe, that would be so cute. We could go downtown to that old record shop.” I wanted to cry all over again because I was so happy.

“I don’t know how you’re gonna hold this in all day when Ashton comes home.” She laughs as we get out of the car. “Well, I’ll try my hardest.” I laugh and we walk towards the pharmacy.

“Well, you’re going to need these, for sure.” Leslie puts prenatal vitamins in the basket. “Look for Vitron-C, it’s what he wrote down,” I tell her and we both start scanning the aisle. “Ah, found it!” I say and bend down to grab it.

“Does CVS even sell paint?” She asks and I shrug. “Maybe we can get the kid ones, I mean it’s not like we’re doing a huge project. We only need to paint the circles on both sides.” I tell her and she nods. “Then we can just find a silver sharpie and write on the record.” Leslie insists and I smile. “I’ll go find the kid paint, you find the sharpies, meet back at the candy,” I demand and she walks off.

I wander around until I find the paint, a few sections down I see some baby clothes and my heart quenches. I’ve never been so happy with my life, I mean besides our wedding. I grab the paint and then move to the baby items, I run my hands over it. I shake it off and go towards the candy, I put some m&ms in the basket. Leslie comes up to me and puts a pack of sharpies in the basket. “Let’s go so we can get the record.”

—-

When we both get home from the record shop, we automatically start painting the paper that was covering part it. “Leslie, you can write it because I have horrible handwriting.” I slide the vinyl to her and she sighs.

It gets quiet as she starts to write on both sides. “Do you have any spray paint?” She asks after she finished writing on it. “Probably our in the garage, why?” I ask as she stands up with the cardboard casing for the record. “I’m going to go spray paint this so he can’t see the artist. You stay here because you don’t need to inhale this.” She pats my head like a little kid.

—-

“Well babe, I’ve had so much fun with you and I’m so fucking excited to be an aunt. I love you so much.” She kisses my cheek and I smile. “Thank you, Aunt Leslie, for the win.” I hug her tightly. “Make sure you film his reaction. I’ll see you on the flip side.” She waves as she exits out the front door.

I grab the record and try to find a place to hide it. I go into the garage and hide it in the tiny safe we had in there.

I grab my phone and call my mom, I needed to tell her before I go to the Irwin’s tomorrow.

“Hello?” My mom answers and I smile. “Hey mom, I’ve got some big news for you.” I grin and I hear her gasp, she could tell already. “Let me go put you on the speaker phone with your dad.” I could hear her basically running into the room. “Listen to this.” I hear her demand my dad. “Guys, I’m pregnant. I found out today.” I hear them both scream and gasp. “I’m so happy! I’m going to be a grandma!” My mom sounded like she was crying. “I just wan- hey guys I got to hang up. Ashton is calling me.” I look at his caller ID. “Well, you two need to fly to America so I can see you.” She kindly demands and I smile. “Will do, I love you guys. Bye.” I hang up.

“Hey, babe,” I answer and I could feel his smile. “Hey, I was wondering if you were ever going to pick up.” He jokes and I smile, I was so glad to hear his voice. “Yeah, I was on the phone with my mom, but we were done anyways. What’s up?” I ask and he sighs a little. “Well, I won’t be able to be home until like 2 am, so I was calling to tell you not to wait up. You need your rest and when you wake up, I’ll be there.” He sounded sad but I knew he’d be there as soon as I woke up. “That’s okay baby, I’m not upset. You’re going to be with me for a couple of months and that’s all I need. Plus, we have the meal with your family tomorrow.” I soothe him and he chuckles a little. “You know how to fix everything, don’t you?” He sounded less sad. “It’s what I do, baby I’m going to get off the phone. I’m feeling a little sick so I’m going to go eat. I love you and I’ll see you tomorrow.” I say my goodbyes and he seemed a little worried. We end the call and I rub my belly a little.

I didn’t want to have that pregnancy where I felt like throwing up every day, so eating crackers calmed my pregnancy jitters. I lay on the couch and turn on Cake Boss. My eyes fluttered shut before I could even see what the cake looked like.

When I woke up I felt someone lifting me up, my eyes opened up wide because of the fear. The first thing I saw was Ashton’s sweet smile. “Hey baby, you fell asleep on the couch. I just got home so I thought I’d carry my lovely bride up the stairs.” He tells me as he presses a kiss to my forehead. “Thanks, Ash, I love you.” I snuggle myself into his chest. “Let’s get some pajamas on, you don’t need to sleep in skinny jeans. He changed me into some shorts and one of his shirts. I sigh contently as I lay my head on my pillows. Ash comes to his side and wraps me in his arms. “Night baby.” He kisses my forehead once more before we both fall asleep.

—-

“Morning, sleepyhead.” I hear Ashton’s voice as I come to. “What are you doing up?” I ask and he giggles. “I’ve been up for an hour, it’s 12 baby, you looked so peaceful I didn’t want to wake you.” He says and he kisses my nose and I grin. “You should have woke me up with you.” I wrap my arm around his neck and he pushes me up against him. His arms were around my waist and I snuggle myself in the crease of his neck.

“I’m so glad you’re home.” I kiss his neck softly and he squeezes me a little tighter. “I’ve missed you so much, I’m surprised you are still married to me. Can’t believe I found someone who wants to wait around for me when I’m busy around the world.” He sighs softly and I lift my head up. “Well I didn’t marry you for your job, I married you because you’re the love of my life. Your job is just a part of you.” I peck his lips lightly.

He pushes me on my back and hovers over me, his eyes were gleaming as he took in the moment. “I’m so fucking in love with you, look at you though. You’re so beautiful and you have this glowing skin. I just want to kiss and hold you all day long.” He lowers himself down and pushes his lips on mine. I wrap my arms around his neck once more, but this time I pull him down to me. He was trying to situate his weight but I didn’t care honestly. I allow his tongue entrance and he was taking dominance.

He moves his kissing down to my neck and I sigh contently. He starts to move to my boobs, but I didn’t realize how much they were hurting, so I push him off gently. “We’re going to your moms in 4 hours, let’s not have any marks that need to be covered.” I lie as he backs up, I knew it was probably due to the pregnancy.

I’ve honestly been lowkey reading pregnancy books for months, it’s just something I wanted to do and we’ve been married for a year. I wanted a baby so bad and now I know a lot of knowledge just from the books. “You’re right, let's go watch some Criminal Minds.” He suggests as he jumps over me, he picks me up and carries me downstairs. “I love you so much,” I whisper quietly, I didn’t know if he heard me or not, but I just knew how much he meant to me.

—-

“Anne!” I giddily yell and hug her, she wraps her arm around me. I feel someone tugging me away and I look back to see Lauren. “There’s my girl,” I say and I give her a hug too. “Can I show you my prom dress and stuff later?” She asks and I nod quickly. “Uh, duh. You know I’m your forever person hype-woman.” I tell her and she smiles softly. “Thanks.” We link arms as we go into the living room. “Can you actually walk outside with me for a moment?” I ask and she seemed worried.

“Ash, we’re going to the car! I forgot my phone out there.” I lie and he looks back at me and nods. He turns back to his little brother showing him videos of his drumming.

“What’s wrong?” She asks as we walk down the sidewalk. I make sure we’re out of ear shot by walking to the car quicker, I open the trunk quickly. I pull out the record and show her what it says, her eyes widen quickly. “You’re kidding! Oh my god, I’m so happy for you.” She hugs me tightly and I wanted to start crying. “I need to get this inside but I don’t know how to bring it in without Ashton knowing,” I say and she ponders for a second. “You go in first and be all lovey-dovey, I’ll sneak in after and put it in my room.” She plans and I nod.

I walk in and find Ash sitting on the recliner. Luckily it was turned away from the door. I sat on his lap and he smirks slightly. “Finally realize I’m the best person in the house?” He asks and I shrug. “I don’t know, I never thought you were the best.” I tease and he fake gasps. “How dare you!” He exclaims as he also fakes a pout.

I see Lauren start to dash towards the stairs. “I love you,” I whisper and kiss his neck softly. “Don’t start something you can’t finish, baby.” He whispers back and I grin. “Supper is ready!” Anne yells and I perk up. “Oof, gotta blast.” I jump up and don’t even wait for Ash, I was already at the dinner table. “I still wonder why I married you.” He jokes under his breath, he sits beside me and grabs my hand.

——

Everyone was finished with supper and most of them were drinking wine, well just Ashton and Anne. “Well, did you not want any? I’ll go get you some.” Ashton says and I shake my head. “One of us has to drive, remember?” I admit, that and I’m freaking pregnant.

“I’m gonna go get a glass of water,” I say and look at Lauren, she picks it up and we both stand. “I could go for some sprite.” She says and we both head towards the kitchen. “I’ll go get it and you make a glass of water. That way if Ashton passes out, we have something to splash on him.” She jokes and I nod, I grab a plastic cup from the cabinet and put water into it.

I go back to the living room and sit by Ashton on the loveseat. Lauren comes in with it in her hand, Ashton notices it when she sits on the floor in front of him. I see her pull out her phone and she sneakily records us. “What’s that Lauren? You got me a welcome home present?” He teases and she shakes her head. “It’s actually one from y/n.” She states and he looks at me expectingly. “Yep, I admit that it was me.” I put my hands up in defense. “You shouldn’t of.” He kisses my cheek before picking it up. “Well, I wasn’t gonna take it back,” I mumble to myself.

He pulls the record out and I think he was so caught up trying to figure out who the artist was. Suddenly, his eyes shift to the words. “For the record,” he turns the record over and his eyes go big, “I’m pregnant.” He ended up yelling it. “You’re pregnant? For real?” He asks and I nod. “Oh my god! I’m a dad!” He says as he tackles me into the couch, but he pulls back shortly after. “Hey, there little Irwin. I love you so much already.” He whispers toward my stomach and I feel tears cloud up.

We’ve been wanting a child for so long and his reaction just summed it up. Lauren turns off her phone and joins our little hug. “I’m gonna be the best aunt.” She says as she pulls away.

Anne stands up with tears in her eyes. “I’m so happy guys, l love you too so much.” We stand up so she can hug us.

She pulls away quickly and I see her demeanor change. “But I fucking knew it! You’ve got the beautiful glow, you ate much more than usual, and you had that little twinkle of happiness in your eyes.” She laughs and I groan, “you know me too well.” I say.

“So, does that mean I get to be an uncle?” Harry catches our attention and we nod. “Awesome.” He says to himself. “Yeah bud, it’s pretty awesome.” Ashton comments, he looks and me and kisses me quickly.

“Pretty damn awesome.”

[shittyfandomimagines]

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