#askbox is open but it'll be a while until I get the first one up probably

[cookinguptales]

Hello all! I'm awake and conscious and ready for some fun Friday the 13th shenanigans.

Before I get started, I'll make my feelings about tarot clear like I always do. I am not psychic, and idk if I even believe in people being psychic. I definitely don't believe that I can tell your future through cartomancy. But tarot, like horoscopes, works well because it operates based on very vague and basic ideas that cater to most people's lives. Most people think about love and money and friends and creative projects, whether positively or negatively. It's easy to see yourself in the cards because the cards are based on very basic human tropes.

All that said, I don't think that's a bad thing! It's like that old saying, y'know? If you want to make a choice, flip a coin -- then think about which outcome you were rooting for. I think that tarot cards and their archetypes can appeal to almost anyone, but in very personal and different ways. I think that can be something that helps you organize your thoughts.

So, y'know, if I say something vague and it makes you think of something specific, maybe that's a thing that you need to be thinking about. Maybe it's near to the top of your thoughts for a reason. I don't think anyone should make important decisions solely based on a tarot reading, but if you find yourself "rooting" for a certain outcome, maybe that's something you should pay attention to.

I'm not psychic and I don't know your life -- but you do, and you should listen to yourself!

Anyway, just my two cents. I'm about to order pizza and start the movie, but I'm also opening my askbox up to tarot requests.

Here's how it works:

I am pulling 13 tarot decks from my collection to celebrate Friday the 13th. These are in a random order currently, but I suppose they'll be revealed as people choose them.

Send me an ask with a number 1-13 as well as something that'll identify you. Like an emoji or something, idk. (I say this both because I get a lot of anons for this and because if I just get a bunch of "13"s, they all look the same in my notes and idk what people are responding to.)

If you've seen me do this before and have a specific deck you'd like to request, that's fine, too! I can't make any promises, but if I have it on-hand, I'll be happy to use it for you.

As usual, I will be doing both serious and silly readings! If you'd like me to do a reading based on the traditional readings of the cards, please let me know that you'd like a serious reading. If you'd like me to make up some harebrained reading based on the images on the cards, like a skeleton Halloween party or some torrid love affair between people buying far too many swords, I'm happy to do that as well! Just let me know you'd like a silly reading!

I have decks in my collection that are either full 78-card decks or Major Arcana-only decks. A lot of people only like to use the former for readings as it can provide a more nuanced and traditional reading, but a lot of other people don't care! If you have a strong preference either way, just let me know and I'll swap out the random deck you've chosen for one that fits your needs.

To combine the last two points, I also have a lot of very silly decks! A lot of those are Major Arcana-only, but not all of them. I think it's fun to do tarot with something like Gravity Falls or Lisa Frank or The Muppets or one that's exactly like the Rider-Waite-Smith tarot but all the humans are replaced with like. Parakeets. If you do not want a silly deck, be sure to let me know about that, too!

Uhhh, I think that's it! If you think there's anything else I should know, just lmk! I'll just be doing basic three-card draws, so let's have fun with it. I've already had my nap, so I'll probably be going all night. That said, I'll probably get kind of drunk and silly as things go because I fully intend to drink through these movies. So if you want me fully lucid, get in on the ground floor.

Okay time for pizza and.... Jason? I think that Friday the 13th is Jason. It's my first time watching them and I will be livetweeting them on twitter. lmao

[da3dm]

In the deep blue sea, there isn't a place for me

—

Yeah I got that title from the same thing sloth sent brick...but I changed it a bit! Here's the result of that mystery poll from before—Sloth kinda half helped with editing this...this is a oneshot with two parts to it bc it'll be super long otherwise and then brick would never read it

It feels rushed to me but maybe not to you guys! Also my askbox is always open

Taglist: @brick-a-doodle-do , @i-am-beckyu , @justarandomsloth , @awkwardgtace , @rosewriting-ao3 (and look rose, gentle giant!!)

If you want tagged you gotta tell me or I can't

TW: Unintentional fearplay, character believing they'll die, begging to die (won't die), blood, mild cursing there's like one curse word bc Irza is Irza, character thinking they might be eaten, mention of suicide. (If there's more please tell me)

Word Count: 4.3k

Part 1/2

Well, this was by far not how he expected his day to go, but...he never did like boring things. But maybe even this was a little too far a stretch to be seen as boredom relief. His time would've been better spent not getting in this situation. Honestly, the last thing he remembered was the pod of mer he lived with outcasting him by using a prank. He was brought out to the middle of nowhere and ditched. With that sort of result he didn't even bother trying to return…he'd had enough and been planning to leave soon anyway. Seeing as he didn't have any possessions, he simply swam away.

Then everything had started to darken. It hadn't been too concerning because looking around…there really wasn't anything there. No predators. So he continued on his way to the shore, hoping to travel through the shallows to find a new home rather than the open ocean. Only a pod could somewhat safely be in the open like this, not a lone mer. It hadn't been too long after until he discovered the water was shoving him around strangely. Lightly, at first. Then it quickly started to increase and his panic rose rapidly. If only he'd noticed that the oncoming darkness was the omen of a storm.

It swept him away helplessly, flailing through the water like a loose piece of kelp. He could faintly recall that it pushed him roughly in the direction of shore, yet another thing only making the water's abuse even worse. It was fully expected that the water's torrent would smash his rather frail body into the rocks lining the edges. Leave him stranded in a tidepool where he'd be picked at by predators. Maybe bury him in the sand where he'd have no hope of escape. It was at that point he'd crashed into something big and smooth, with a lot of clattering sounds all around him. Then it had gone black, the impact too much to withstand.

And that brings him to now. The sun was hot on his exposed skin, the water level steadily getting lower, and hotter. It felt like he was being boiled alive. He was trapped inside something. Something clear, that shifted and crinkled when he moved, and was rather uncomfortable. Sure, it had probably saved him from outright dying, but now he was too far from the water to even attempt tipping the thing over to escape. This was a rather precarious situation to find himself in. After waking up in here it had looked to be sunrise and the container was half full…but now the sun was directly above him, beating down on his vulnerable form while the water was so low he couldn't even fully submerge.

While half his body was in the water, he shifted around to try and rearrange a few more times and only got the same results each time. It was hopeless, so he worked on keeping his tail in the water as much as possible, refusing to believe he'd simply die here. There had to be a way out, even if that meant waiting for night to fall, when the tide would be higher. He might be out of water by then, but…it was likely his only chance of survival. Being out on the sand in the hot sun would both cook him and let his predators see he was there. That would be his end right then and there with how far he was. He may want out, but he wasn't suicidal.

Trying to think of what to do, more time was passing and the water was getting lower. It was maybe an hour or two later of him attempting to figure out freedom when there was a change. He was noticing that it was a little cooler, sparing him of losing all of the water, but that wasn't all. There was a new tremor motion the water reacted to. He blinked at the tiny, extra ripples his body wasn't causing. The ripples stayed that way but soon he realized they were getting bigger. Not long after, it came to his attention that he could feel a vibration traveling from the ground through the rest of his body. A rising dread filled him and he scrambled to try and see, holding himself up.

He couldn't see anything. Well…to be fair it looked like he was in a ditch, it'd be hard to see anywhere from this angle. The vibration stopped and he held his breath. Nothing. Was it gone? In his distraction however, he failed to notice that all his movement had drawn something after him. All of a sudden something crashed into his prison and he barely avoided calling out, biting his tongue and flailing for balance. He looked up in a hurry to face his attacker and froze. A bird. What even was this thing?? It was white but he didn't recognize it from the usual pelicans he'd seen where he used to live. Still, it was eyeing him like a new meal.

Stopping to wonder what it was might not have been his brightest idea as it was now sticking its beak inside the small opening, wings flapping wildly. The webbed feet pushed at the clear walls as he hurriedly pushed himself down, away from the threatening beak. He bared his teeth uselessly, but it made him feel a lot better. Truthfully all the motion was sickening and too chaotic to make right from left. It even made a loud, overbearing sound that made his head ring painfully. The noise echoed in this small space way too much and he slapped his hands over his ears reflexively. This was too much for him. He hadn't even started to escape yet…and he was being attacked.

Then the vibration from earlier came to his attention, much heavier than before. It made him bounce in place and even the bird reacted, looking at the cause and calling out again. Before much else happened, a new sound came to him, sounding like words, but way too loud to be words. It made the space around him shudder and the bird had left. He had to breathe for a moment before he even dared look up, bracing himself against the slick walls and gazing up just as a new shadow fell right before his clear cage. In some ways he'd wished he'd never looked up.

The owner of the massive shadow was just as huge, towering over him in a way he'd never seen before. His mind immediately supplied the word human. He'd been told about them, seen them from a distance…he knew they were bigger, but not like this. Why would he get stuck on the beach and run into one of them?! Did the world really hate him that much?! Unfair! Not to mention, humans were supposed to stay away from the area he'd been heading for. Had he really been swept so far off his intended path?? Anything was possible at his size in a storm that nasty, but going from stormy waters, to a bird, to a human, wasn't even bad luck. That's like an outright curse.

His thoughts were cut short when the giant being took a step closer to him, shaking the entire space and making him scramble to prevent faceplanting. It was coming closer. His dread didn't have time to build up before a hand came rushing towards his trap, one way too big for what seemed natural. Though he clawed at the smooth surface surrounding him, it was hopeless, the hand closing around it. He shuddered at the realization the hand went all the way around the bottle…he could see the fingers nearly connect. That was to say…he forgot what would happen when it's being grabbed.

Not even a second later, he was hoisted off the ground, making his stomach do a wild flip while he forced himself to stay calm. What if it wanted him to be scared? But when the space was tilted and the water began to flow away from him, he gave an involuntary yelp of surprise and looked around frantically. The tilt suddenly stopped and it went back to how it had been before, the water returning. This time when looking at the human, he found bright green, huge eyes that were both locked right on him. He fought back a shiver, meeting that, admittedly, intimidating gaze. The eyes widened and he froze up.

Way too dizzying fast, he was racing skyward, stopping only once level with the way too big face. Out of pure instinct he bared his teeth with a growl, pushing himself back against the opposite side. He pointedly ignored that the hand was on that side of it and that he could feel the warmth it gave off from inside. Except when he growled, he noticed a responding movement from above and his eyes snapped to it, only to go stiff and regret showing aggression. Those weren't the right ears. They were like triangles and kept swiveling around. Listening, he thought. He suppressed another shudder, instead choosing to glare at this giant and those horribly observant eyes.

He knew he was being stared at, his every move kept track of, but he was trying to wrack his brain for why those ears and unnerving eyes were familiar to him. There wasn't much time to think as that loud sound came at him again—the voice. Definitely a voice. He ignored the words. They were too distorted and loud to understand while stuck inside this thing anyway. Besides, he didn't want to hear the taunts or what it might be planning to do to him. He'd rather seem boring and be tossed back to the ground and ignored.

Except those eyes changed and almost looked…worried? He scowled at it, but the voice returned and everything was turning sideways at an agonizingly slow pace. His slow slide felt like torture, especially with how fast the water was already pouring past him, tugging him along faster than it was tipping. At this point all he could do was weakly scratch at it, feeling like he was being played with on his way towards the only opening. The last thing he tried was spreading his arms too wide to fit while trying to turn to keep his tail inside. If it fell out, the weight would just drag him down.

When he hit the opening he stuck, just as intended. A grim, victory smile plastered on his face as he fought to keep himself in this same position while looking to the side at the human. What he found was a look of surprise, but nothing happened. It was held in the same position, not moving even slightly. He thought he'd be shaken or something, but it never came. Instead, the voice came again, still not understandable from his position. It got quiet and motionless, as if the human was just waiting for him to change his mind or something. Not happening! That was when he noticed he was slipping. The giant jerk was waiting him out.

He growled in real anger at being treated this way, noticing those creepy ears moving as he made the sound. All he could see in those big eyes, was patience. A steady, calm, patience. Like this human already knew they'd win this. And they would, which only upset him even more. The problem was that he was still slipping, and steadily feeling like he needed to catch himself. Was he just going to fall to his death or what? Was the human dumping him out of the way? It was hard to say, but he was about to find out for himself. There wasn't even a shred of hope in his mind of holding on for longer than the human could wait…the surface and angle were simply too much and only half his body could be used to prevent it.

With one last squirm in an attempt to stay inside, he finally couldn't stay splayed anymore and fell headfirst out of the thing. His eyes screwed shut, certain he would plummet to his death…only for the result to be much less dramatic. The impact was muted, interrupted maybe only a second later by something soft that smelled heavily of herbs. For a moment all he could do was breathe, his heart racing painfully as his chest heaved from the scare. He didn't waste much time and after only a few breaths, he moved to figure out what exactly happened. Seeing it made him freeze up, his eyes landing on the tan colored, patterned floor beneath him. Skin.

Looking up while already know what would be there, his almost weary gaze trailed up the length of an arm all the way to the human's face. He was in the damn thing's hand. He inwardly groaned and pushed himself up while taking a deep breath, glancing at the fingers towering over him. A threat. It was mostly behind him and he let his head hang so he could simply see past his arms without it knowing where he was looking. It was hard to know what would happen if he was caught staring, and honestly? He'd rather be ended because he fought back, not for looking at something. That would be even worse than having been abandoned by his own pod using a prank. So he held his breath and looked up at that face again.

Then he immediately bit the hand beneath him. Hard. His aim was to draw blood at the very least, and he needed to do it before the human could stop him. The only response he seemed to get was a quiet whine of pain and a harsh flinch that nearly sent him off the hand. What stopped such a fate were the fingers, curling up over him. Without delay, since the other bite was already bleeding, he whipped around and sunk his teeth into one of those massive digits instead, his arms wrapping around it so his claws could dig in as well. He was fully aware that he couldn't win this, but that didn't stop him from trying.

What did make him pause was that finger separating itself from the rest slowly, followed by that much too loud voice ringing out above him. "Uhm…will you please let go…? That…it kinda hurts?" The voice was still too loud for him, but he could for the first time understand the words being spoken, even even what sounded like hesitation in the tone. Of course, his response to this comment was to bite even harder and snarl while he did, moving his head a little to trying twisting and make it worse. The human winced in pain, those ears drawing back as it instead muttered, "Yeah, okay, that's fair." He wanted the human to feel pain, why was it saying this was fair?!

His anger was boiling over and he grabbed onto it, using it to bury all the fear as he snapped his head to the side with an angry hiss, clawing at the finger he'd been biting before it bending forced him to let go. He fell back onto the palm, not really able to support himself with his tail. Wait. The human had a tail too. He narrowed his eyes while keeping his teeth bared as a few things clicked into place. He remembered an animal that had those ears, eyes, and tail. It was also very sharp in his mind that he'd seen it swiping fish out if the water and chasing any mer that got close. He didn't know the name, but this human looked like they were part animal. That animal. That eats fish. And probably mer too.

A very brief look of terror flashed through his eyes and he dug his claws into the palm a whole lot more to hurriedly turn it into anger. He looked this giant in the eye with as much Hate and rage as he could muster, his mind simmering as he ignored how the sun was slowly making his skin itch as it dried him out. With one deep breath, he practically screamed out, "THE HELL ARE YOU EVEN GOING TO DO?! STOP STARING AND JUST DO SOMETHING DAMNIT! YOU'RE TOO LOUD AND TOYING WITH ME! IF YOU'RE GOING TO DO SOMETHING TO ME, JUST DO IT!" His sudden volume was plenty loud enough to make those freaky animal ears go down and it felt like his own personal victory.

Until the hand finally moved. He was going up, being brought right to that face. It was impossible to fully get rid of a shudder as his eyes widened. Was he going to die now? His mouth did usually get everyone mad at him. He'd actually asked for this one though, but…he looked at the closed mouth of the face he was rapidly approaching. Was the giant going to eat him like that animal did that fish? He turned his head away to hide his face while not wanting to see what would happen to him. It was over. He'd purposely yelled at the human and said to get it over with. It was only a moment later that he felt the huge digits behind him start to close in on him. He didn't even flinch.

He was expecting to die somehow, but the human decided to speak again. "What?? You…do you think I want to hurt you? I'm sorry I was too loud…did I really scare you that badly? I wasn't trying really hard not to—" Why was this stupid giant prolonging his death? But they just continued their ramble. "—but I…I messed up? What did I do? How do I fix it? Is there something you want?" The voice was growing increasingly higher pitched and they were talking way too fast. He growled inwardly, despising that he had to listen to such idiotic lies after begging to die. Did it really thing he was that stupid? That he wasn't just some fun creature to toy with and leave to die? Lies.

He raised his head back up to stare his likely killer in the eyes, only to find out they were right in front of him. He had soared past the mouth and even the nose, being held so perfectly level with the eyes that he couldn't avoid noticing their emotions. With a shiver he didn't even try to contain, he scrambled backwards only to realize those fingers were holding him in place. His eyes were rounded at this revelation, merely glad to see his tail was at least still against the palm and not just hanging. If relieved was the right thing to feel, rather, when he was terrified. What else could he feel when staring into eyes each bigger than his head. Happiness??

Finally though, the hand moving snapped him out of it right as the human softly asked, "Hey, are you okay? Can't you speak?" Alright, so now he was going to be seen as some stupid animal that didn't even have intelligence? Like he'd allow that.

With yet another ferocious snarl, he growled, "Get the fuck away from me." His voice felt despairingly weak and he swallowed hard. Having to meet these eyes like this was…so uncomfortable. It frayed his nerves and played with his mind. The eyes looked too guilty. He leaned away. "Just…just leave me alone or kill me already. I don't want to play these games anymore." He was scared, but his tone still came out full of rage.

The huge eyes only got bigger as they widened, full of what looked to borderline horror. "Kill you?! I'm not going to kill you!" The human shouldn't be sounding so scared of his words. They should be getting mad, yelling at him, hurting him. But nothing was happening. Instead, he rapidly found himself tumbling back down into the hand, which now became two, simply cupped together. It wasn't right to be held like he was breakable. He glared at the human. They just wouldn't stop trying to mess with him.

Without thinking it through, he snapped, "Why not?! You're bigger than me, you're a predator, I shouldn't even still be alive except to be a handy little plaything for your own entertainment!" Nothing was said in response, everything going quiet. The human was…silenced? By his worthless and weak voice? This game was getting absurd and the look of pity he was receiving only served to make him retaliate with anger. He bit the hand again, trying as hard as he possibly could to be dropped or finally killed or something.

A wince of pain, but then nothing. He growled and twisted his head, eliciting a gasp and a following whine from right beside him. "Please don't do that…" Not long after, the other hand stopped being a floor for him and tilted up to cover him from above. He stopped and bit a different spot, feeling his eyes burn from tears he refused to allow free. This was it. The human was finally going to end it, by…crushing him. He finally got what he wanted…why did it make him want to escape from it? To never have asked for this? But no pain came. It was darkened, but stopped there, the other hand harmlessly held over him, making it almost reminiscent of a cave…if the walls were made of tanned flesh that kept moving around him. A muffled voice came to him next with, "I'll just put you back in the ocean…"

A spike of fear at the thought of returning, and yet he could already feel the human moving, making him roll slightly while struggling to stay in place. He stopped biting, now more intent on keeping himself still and not being given back to the ocean. Sure he'd been planning to escape there, but if he was for some reason getting free transport he wanted something else. A river or stream, something to make his boring life have some sort of meaning to it. This felt more like he'd be discarded this way than freed into it. He wasn't going to say or do anything, but his racing heart won. "WAIT WAIT WAIT!"

Everything immediately stilled and he had to cling to the skin under him to not go rolling away. He wanted to relax and maybe try to figure out why he'd said to wait, but the human of course had to butt in on it. "Don't you live there? I'll put you back, are you sure?" He inhaled sharply, thinking about being in the exposed shallows with the sheer number of those strange birds from earlier hanging around. He'd seen how many there were already. If he was put back in, not only would he be back in the place he'd grown to hate, he'd become food. Dying by the hand of a giant sounded much better than temporary, fake freedom, followed by being eaten.

He moved a bit, wincing silently at how dry his tail was feeling. "...I don't want to be in the ocean. Do whatever you want with me, just get rid of me already, but not the ocean…" He should've been asking for the ocean, not to stay away from it. This was stupid. Why would the human even listen? All he did was give it a new way to hurt—

"Okay, I won't." He stiffened greatly. Won't what? The voice sounded almost resigned with those words, making his already raised guard bristle with discomfort. Before he could demand an answer though, they spoke again, "I'll just…take you home. You're probably needing some water about now and my skin can't be helping that, not to mention it's really hot out today, huh? And it's not like there's any other water sources around…I don't even know what else you want if you don't want the ocean. Maybe you'll tell me once you're not so dried up?" He blinked at the half darkness as he listened to the disembodied voice from beyond the walls of hand.

The human was…just going to keep him? Probably to be able to toy with him better. Tools and other gadgets at their home to make his fate even worse. With an air of defeat over knowing he couldn't possibly claw his way out of the prison of hands, he hung his head. "...fine." His voice was quiet but with those ears? No doubt the human heard him. Fine. He'd accept this fate, but he'd go down fighting. He could already feel this giant moving again. For now however, he let his eyes drift shut, exhausted from his struggle and not sure if he'd even wake up later. Not without digging his claws in for good measure, smiling in grim satisfaction at the pained response he got.

Words rang out above him, "Alright, then let's go! I'll take and get a good look at you to make sure you're not injured and try to find a good place for you to stay!" That cheery voice was going to be the death of him, in more ways than one. Yet, that was the last thing he heard before his mind shut itself off. Oh well. Time to leave his fate to the mercy of this strange, giant being…even if it meant he'd die.

Maybe he wouldn't.

———

Part 2

[floripire]

“ sometimes when we’re young, we don’t understand the concept of forever. ”

askbox fun // @witchfirst

a warmer season has come to the salvatore school. flowers open their petals and bloom and with it, so, too, do crushes. so, too, does love. flori has seen the way loren's eyes linger on penelope's, who has long since returned from belgium.

she knows how much mia adores faith and if she were a betting woman, she'd bet her entire stash of bloodpops that those feelings are returned by faith. wholeheartedly so.

and everyone knows that jed holds her hummingbird heart in his hands. flori has long since held a torch for him. even back when he still let his fists do the talking because he got his ego bruised.

she's always seen the beautiful, brilliant soul underneath the machismo and bravado.

it's more than feverish kisses, half healed bites and sneaking into his room late at night. it's playing games and talking about their respective cultures and comparing notes on being a creature of the night.

it's challenging and being challenged.

it's growing more comfortable in her own skin with each passing day.

it's starting the day off with a sincere thank you to the universe for allowing her one more day with the ones she so loves. each day with jed, with loren, faith and with mia is the most precious of gifts.

"sometimes when we’re young, we don’t understand the concept of forever." on the field, vampires zip around, witches cast their spells and werewolves clash during a friendly game of supernatural tag and emilija bennett sits down next to flori, all grace and poise.

flori tries not to think of it. tries not to think of the day where she has to bury loren and mia. it pops up every so often and she pushes it out of her mind just as fast, but sometimes, sometimes she doesn't quite manage to. sometimes she looks at jed and sees herself standing over his final resting place, sees herself talking to his headstone about how much she misses him.

one day, it'll just be her and faith and a shared anguish.

jed scores a point and flori gets up on her feet, cheering as loud as she can. the game makes no sense to her. it has no rules and she has no idea what one needs to do to win in the first place, but jed looks beautiful like this: warm skin, glistening and molten eyes.

saliva floods her mouth. her fangs protrude from her gums and floribeth swallows it away just as fast for emilija's words are going round and round in circles in her head. like some sort of feedback-loop. "sometimes when we’re young, we don’t understand the concept of forever."

she hears his heart beat. it's a steady rhythm that she focuses on until she no longer feels like screaming or crying or both.

"i may not have lived as long as you have," flori says, pausing to zero in on the hearts of all of her friends one by one. "but i do understand the concept of forever. and so does faith. every vampire here does. maybe their concept of it is different than mine. but we all understand. granted, perhaps not as deeply as you do, but there is an innate understanding that comes with being turned, or at least, that was the case when it happened to me. i've always been a quick study."

finally, she looks at emilija bennett who is something akin to a mother-figure. flori loves caroline too and while flori knows that she could come to caroline with most - if not all - of her questions, she also knows that there are some things that only someone like emilija would truly understand.

hope scores the next point. josie cheers loudly and lizzie looks at her twin, as if she knows something that josie doesn't - not yet - before her eyes follow ethan and mg running across the field. somewhere to her left, cleo cheers for kaleb.

a warmer season has come to the salvatore school and flori decides to hold her tongue.