#asshole kise strikes again

[shoichee]

Question for you guys!

So, I’m writing this soulmate!au mega manga!asshole kise enemies to lovers prompt from my WIP list, and all, but I’m wondering if you guys would rather have this out in parts (like a whole series), or one GIANT oneshot (which is more suited for AO3). What do you u guys think, since you’re my readers, I’d like to ask for your opinion^^ I’m asking because well… It’s getting a bit long and it might not get into the “reader” action right away. And it might lag on tumblr mobile, especially… Anyways feel free to answer!

[ourneverendingpossibilities]

I’m sorry (3/?)

Anime: Kuroko no Basuke Pairing: Aomine Daiki x Reader Rating: T+ (For Haizaki’s mouth) A/N: Chapter 3 is here! Thanks once again for your patience, and I look forward to hearing what you guys think! 

______________________

Sighing, you couldn't help but rub your arms in anticipation. You waited to call Midorima at lunch the following day, as the phone call with Kise went on much longer than anticipated. It took a bit of convincing but you managed to get both boys to meet you here despite them being busy with the Winter Cup. You only hoped everything would go well. The weight of the basketball in your bag felt heavier than before. Of course, quitting the sport itself was a hard challenge and no matter what you said, you knew in your heart you'd never quit.

You were about to reach into your bag when a flash of grey caught your eyes. Your body stiffens when you see his profile from the other side of the gate. Your body begins to quiver in fear, though you try to deny the fear you felt, as you didn't want this asshole to know you still felt that way about him. You couldn't let him win, not at a game you were better at, and your breathing began to get choppy and short, as though his hand was wrapped around your throat.

'Why is he here?'

________________

Basketball practice was starting and as usual, Momoi was running around, trying to track down her best friend. She was confused and concerned for both of them and while she should feel more worry for you, a part of her can't help but worry more about Aomine. 

She wasn't blind, she saw his reaction to your outburst yesterday against the team. The emotions she was feeling were quite similar, if not the same, to yours as she, too, hated how everyone drifted apart at Teiko. They were so close and bonded outside of basketball. 

Once Akashi had changed and made everything about winning, everything went sour. It didn't matter to her if they won or not, even though she knew the outcome was going to be the same.

Like you, she often wondered if the rest of the team only chose Aomine because he was what people called a ‘monster’. She knew the team here at Touou was more about individual skills and rarely worked as a team. 

While she felt it was a repeat of Teiko, there were some differences between the two. The major one being Aomine didn't rely on anyone to help him. He didn't try to bond with the rest of the team, choosing to stick with herself and _____ but everyone else was nothing to him.

But what made her seek her childhood friend out was the sadness he kept hidden beneath his harsh frown. He seemed more frustrated and angry at practice than usual and the only time she'd ever seen him like that was back in Teiko. 

When she got to the roof, she was surprised to see him sitting up, his arms wrapped around his left leg as he sat there, staring into space. Despite being outside, the air was thick with tension and Momoi swore she sensed another emotion mixed in but was unable to identify it. This made her frown, as she turned her eyes to the ground, unable to handle seeing her best friend like this.

"Satsuki... Is that you?"

Blinking, she looks up to see Aomine's navy blue hues staring at her. She bit back the gasp as she took a good look at her friend, the look of loneliness was practically screaming at her. She wanted to run to him and give him a hug. 

But they weren't children anymore and he continuously told her, with a frown, to never touch him.

"Hai.. I wanted to come see if you were..." Alright? Coming to practice? What can I say that won't irritate him?

He chuckles, the laugh foreign and unrecognizable to her ears, as he turns his eyes back to the streets. He seems to be in his own world, lost in whatever thoughts running through his mind, and seeing this was new to Momoi. She'd never seen her friend like this ever, and the only thought that came to her mind was,

'It's all because of you.. ____-chan.'

"Satsuki... You worry too much."

She could feel the anger surface a bit before she pouted, "Well someone has to worry about you! You don't seem to care about anything else besides basketball!"

"Well... There is one other thing I cared about, probably more than basketball."

Momoi could hear the hidden meaning behind his statement, and as much as she wanted to ask if it was you, she chose to go a different route instead.

"Aomine-kun?"

...

"When did you and _____-chan get together?"

A brief silence occurred between the two before his words rang through her mind.

"Last year."

_______________________

Things had been rough since the coach changed at Teiko. You start to notice Akashi's mood change drastically and he sent shivers down your spine each time he glanced at you. You hid this because you didn't want anyone to know you felt uncomfortable around the captain and make things worse. Still, your feelings towards the ace of the team never wavered, despite his sudden change in personality. You couldn't stop the worry from rising to your chest when you first heard Aomine wasn't expected to show up at practice. 

So long as he played in games and they won, both Akashi and the coach didn't care.

It was around the time he stopped his one-on-one games with you, which made the loneliness grow in your heart.

You decided to wait for Aomine's class to end, though a small part of you was wondering if he'd left early as he's been doing so recently. You were about to walk away from his locker when a hand grabs you and forces you against the cold, metallic door. Gasping, you felt the air rush out of your lungs as you turned your head to see Haizaki Shogo looming over your small form. A sinister grin on his face as his eyes pierced yours, preventing you from escaping.

"Ha? If it isn't _____-chan.~ What are you doing around here?"

Giving the best glare, despite the circumstances, you scoffed before attempting to look away from his hungry gaze, clenching your hand tightly to calm the shaking.

"It's none of your business. Why are you still here? I thought you were suspended."

He clicks his tongue before licking his lips. "Well, it seems you're the only girl in this shit hole I haven't gone out with. What do you say we go out on a date? I'll show you a good time."

Feeling repulsed, you scoff, "No thanks. I don't want what every other girl has touched. I already told you, I'm not interested. I don't know how many times I have to say it before you figure it out."

Gripping your face in his hand, he forced your eyes to look at him, his expression angry. "Out of all the girls, I gotta say, you're the most intriguing ____-chan. You're the only one who hasn't shown interest in any of the boys at this school, including the ones on the basketball team. Unless... There is a boy you're trying to go after?"

Attempting to free yourself, you try to kick him, only to feel his legs tangle with yours, effectively trapping them. He always pissed you off, and yet, you were still powerless to stop him if he tried anything. All the other girls in this school hated/feared him and the boys were just as useless when it came to fighting him. The only boys who could stop him were the small knit group that were deemed prodigies, but they were at practice and there's no way they'd know you were in trouble.

"Ha. You're just like the rest of them. They all attempt to fight me first but in the end they all end up getting fucked by me. Trust me darling, you're just like the rest of those whores."

His hand tightens its grip on your face and you could feel his nails digging into your cheek, eliciting a small cry from your throat. Despite feeling the pain in your face, you still managed to glare at him, forcing your body to be stiff and unresponsive to his advances. You attempt once more to kick him in the shin, but he trapped your other leg, pressing himself completely against your body.

"No one's gonna stop me. So you should surrender yourself to me."

"Like hell I will! I'm not going out with you! So for the last time, back off Haizaki!"

He releases your head only to strike you across the same cheek he'd dug his nails into. You could feel the tears burning in the back of your eyelids, but you refuse to let them fall. You weren't going to give him the satisfaction of seeing you cry. This guy was only feeling anger towards everyone associated with Kise because he was replaced. 

Since you were a close friend of his, of course he would try to get with you out of spite. But that wasn't the boy you had your eyes on. And you didn't want to give him any more ammunition to use against the basketball team. So you'd keep your feelings secret, to protect the one you like.

"You're in no position to give me attitude. You can't even defend yourself."

Growling, you glare at him before slapping him across the cheek. 

"At least I wasn't replaced! It was pretty low what you did, going after Ryouta's girlfriend. You have no respect and you're a disgrace to basketball! I'm glad Akashi kicked you off!"

That last sentence sealed your fate. But you weren't going down without fighting. This asshole wasn't going to push you around and you were going to make sure of that.

"You bitch. Why don't I just deal with you right now?"

Releasing your body, you attempt to run but his arm stretches out, grabbing your arm and harshly yanking it as he walked down the hall. You continued to struggle, unsure if anyone was around to hear. Even if the teachers tried helping, none of them could handle Haizaki.

You were alone.

Deciding he'd had enough, Haizaki turns his body towards you, his presence menacing. Before you could blink, his hand collides with your other cheek, a gasp escaping your dry throat as the force from his hand sends you backwards. You almost crashed to the ground but tan arms wrap around your waist and held you against a solid chest. Before you could say anything, you were placed gently against the window, your backpack and Aomine's in your arms before he turned his attention to the grey-haired male.

"Back off and leave ____ alone, piece of shit. Just because she doesn't want to go out with you doesn't give you the right to beat her. She wouldn't go out with a lowlife like you. So get lost before I throw you out this window."

A chuckle escaped his lips, "HA. You're one to talk Daiki. Just showing up out of the blue, attempting to be a knight in shining armour. You're all bark and no bite. You'd never hit me, and even if you could, you'd be kicked off the basketball team. You can't even protect your friends properly and yet you shout threats at me? You're truly an idiot."

Your eyes widened when you saw Aomine bear his teeth in anger. You knew he wanted to go after that piece of shit but you didn't want him getting kicked off the team. Even if he was trying to protect you, it wasn't worth him losing everything he had. You weren't going to let that happen. 

Instinctively, you reach out and grab his hand, yanking his body closer to yours. You attempt to plead with him with your eyes, his expression soften slightly.

'Please don't attack him. Not for me.'

Growling, he kept his eyes on you but addresses Haizaki. "Get the fuck out of here before I change my mind. If you come near ____ again, I won't hesitate to kick your ass."

He was about to retort, but Aomine sends him a death glare and he scoffs before turning away, leaving the two of you alone. Cursing under his breath, Aomine bent down so he was your height and assesses your face. It was a bit swollen where he hit you and there was a thin red line from when his nail dug into your skin. But otherwise, everything else was fine. You could see the anger in his eyes, but there was a hint of regret mixed in, along with helplessness.

He was blaming himself for your bruises.

He took a deep breath to calm himself down before he looked into your eyes, "Are you okay, _____?"

Scoffing, you gave Aomine a punch in the arm, a look of endearment in your eyes. "Don't give me that look, Aomine-kun. You didn't know I was going to wait for you. Besides, I got some hits in too. If anyone asks, I'll just say I tripped. They don't have to know. I can take care of myself."

While your voice sounds convinced, you knew your mind was far from it. You were relieved Aomine showed up when he did, but you didn't want him to know you were scared. Aomine has his own problems to deal with, adding yours onto his is something you weren't going to do. 

Taking a deep breath, you felt yourself getting irritated with that defeated look on his face.

"Look, it was a good thing you didn't go after him. If you did, they would've kicked you off the team. I'm not gonna be the reason you are forced to quit something you enjoy. I'm not that selfish. Now let's go. If you're feeling guilty about it, you can at least buy me a drink."

As you stood, you felt your legs go numb from the fear and before you could blink, you were once again in Aomine's arms. Cursing under your breath, you gasp when both his hands cup your face, his thumbs rubbing your cheeks gently to try and soothe the pain, before his lips captured yours in a sweet kiss. A different shiver went down your spine from earlier and you shudder against his lips before responding to his gentle touch.

You couldn't kiss him for long, due to your throat being dry, but he pulls away before you do, and presses a gentle kiss to your forehead. There weren't any words to say. He turns around, bending down in front of you, and gestures towards his back. Not having the strength to argue, you could feel the heat rush to your cheeks as you climb onto his back, wrapping your arms around his neck, before leaning your head on his shoulder.

As much as you want to ask, the words die in your throat. Despite not knowing if you were officially together, what mattered was having him in your life. There'd be lots of time later to ask what the two of you were. For now, you would enjoy the kindness he was showing you, because you really didn't know how long it was going to last.

____________

The feeling of pressure jolts you from your thoughts and you turn your head around to see Kise and Midorima standing there, frowns on their faces. Both of them saw Haizaki walking by the basketball court and found themselves running towards you, in an attempt to scare him off. It seemed to have worked because when your turned your attention back to where he was, he was no longer there.

Breathing a sigh of relief, you gave both of them a smile. "Thank you."

Kise gave you a smile while Midorima pushed his glasses up with his finger. "It's not a problem. I was wondering why Haizaki was starting to head over here. But I'm assuming that's not what you were wanting from us, is it _____?"

Shaking you head, you take a deep breath, "I didn't expect to see him over here. But you're right, Midorima-kun. That's not why I called you two here. Actually, I'm hoping both of you will consider helping me, though I completely understand if you say no, with the Winter Cup around the corner."

Ruffling your hair, Kise smiles, "Nonsense ! I always have time for ____cchi! We may go to different schools, but that doesn't mean we can't hang out! Though you may have to explain this request of yours to my captain. Kasamatsu-senpai can be scary if I miss lots of practice."

Laughing, you gave him a look, "Well I'm glad to hear you're close with your senpai. Don't worry, I'll explain the reason you hardly show up to practice, that's if you agree to help me."

Taking a deep breath, you focused your serious expression on the two basketball players in front of you. "I want you guys to help me with basketball."

To say both of them were shocked was an understatement. They didn't know many details, but they knew you'd chosen to quit last year. They, along with Kuroko and Momoi, tried convincing you to keep playing but you were stubborn and refused. Both boys looked at each other before looking back at you, speechless.

"I know you guys are shocked, and you're super busy with your own training. But I made up my mind. I'm going to continue playing. It'll take me a bit to get back into it, which is why I want you two to help me. I've never been good at throwing threes and I want to increase my agility."

"I can see why you'd come to me about shooting threes, but if you wanted to increase agility, shouldn't you be asking Aom-"

"No." The firm tone in your voice shocked both boys once again, "I can understand why you'd suggest that, Midorima-kun. But Ryouta is quite good at agility too. I watched the match between him and Aomine. If there's anyone else I can ask to train me, it'd be him."

"If I may ask, ____-cchi, what made you change your mind?"

Sighing, you began tossing the ball in your hands. "To be honest, I'm not really sure. Last night, a group of boys asked me to play with them. I tried refusing, but when they asked me if I loved basketball, I didn't hesitate with my answer. These boys were having so much fun, and they're younger than us, that I decided to play with them. For the first time in a while, I was able to play with a smile."

Both boys remained silent as you continued, "I guess, the reason I told myself I was quitting was because I saw how badly affected all of you were when all you did was win. It broke my heart to see us drift because the motto was to win.”

You stop, staring at them, “Kuroko's words rung through my mind last night again and I was able to understand what he meant. What is the point in victory if you don't smile after? I was scared I would end up like you guys, so I disconnected myself away from it before I felt the loneliness.”

You sigh, scratching the back of your head out of habit,  “But then I realized after a while, I felt more lonely not having the sport that brought us together. I really have to thank those children for this. They helped me see what I truly missing out on. I guess they saw how happy I was because they let me keep the basketball we played with."

"I see. So by asking us to help you, it would improve your accuracy and shots. Not only that, you want to keep this a secret from Aomine. But wouldn't he learn of this from Momoi-san? Surely she'd tell him right?"

"Actually... I haven't told her either. You two are the only ones who know. I'm sure Kuroko has figured it out because he knows me too well. But I don't want either of them knowing. It's kinda why I'm skipping out on practice."

Both saw the determination in your eyes, and knew you were serious. When you had your mind set, there was no going back. And both were happy to see the old you starting to surface.

"I may not be able to help you practice everyday, but I can try. Unfortunately, I can't today as coach is determined to make us work. But you can give me a call to set up a time. I look forward to helping you _____."

Bowing, you gave him a smile, "Thank you, Midorima-kun. I'll definitely be in touch."

Sighing, Ryouta gave a small pout, "Don't forget about me ____-cchi! I'm still here!~"

Laughing, you directed your gaze on the blonde. "I haven't forgotten about you Ryouta. You've just been unusually quiet today. Have you been thinking again?"

"When ____cchi says that, I swear you're making fun of me."

Wrapping your arms around your best friend, you muttered, "I'm sorry Ryouta. I know it's a lot to ask considering the Winter Cup is around the corner. But I'd be very grateful if you could help me."

Returning your hug, he smiled, "What are best friends for? Of course I'll help you! Like I said, you have to explain to my captain why I'm not showing up at practice though! I don't want to hear him yell at me for helping out a friend."

Nodding, you couldn't stop the smile from gracing your lips, "I'll be more than willing to explain everything to your captain. Did you want to do it right now? I'm sure they'd be at practice right?"

Midorima sighs, causing both of you to look at him, "If we're going to be doing this, you two should start right away. We don't have much time."

"That is true. If I heard correctly, Aominecchi is versing Kurokocchi first. So we don't have a lot of time to be wasting."

"Alright then. Ryouta, lead the way!"

______________

When both of you reach Kaijo High, you were greeted by an angry-looking Kasamatsu. His arms were crossed, a frown etched on his face, as though he wanted to hit Kise for being late. When he saw the Touou uniform on you, he looks at Kise with a raised eyebrow.

"Oh right! Kasamatsu-senpai! This is ____cchi! We went to Teiko together! You'll like her!"

You bowed, "It's a pleasure to meet you, Kasamatsu-senpai. I'm ______."

He gives you a small smile before extending his hand, "Likewise, ____-san. I'm Kasamatsu Yukio."

Returning his hand shake, you notice the rest of the team look at you with wary expressions before returning your gaze to the captain.

"I apologize for making Ryouta late. I know I'm from a different school, but I have a request. It may seem unreasonable to you, including your coach, but I wanted to ask you specifically, despite him already agreeing."

You watch as Kasamatsu's expression went serious again, in a professional manner, something you weren't quite used to. "I'm glad you decided to come here and ask me directly. But what does a friend of Kise's, a friend from Touou Academy, want with him?"

Sighing, you decided it was best to be upfront with the captain. Though you left out specific details, you still felt the need to explain a bit of your past to this man.

"When we were in our final year at Teiko, I stopped playing. I didn't see the point in playing anymore. It wasn't as exciting and fulfilling as it used to be and it took too much energy out of me. However, recently my way of thinking has changed and I realized just how much I miss playing.” You pause to take a breath,  “I have a goal I wish to achieve but in order to do so, I need to train. I already asked Midorima-kun of Shutoku for his assistance, but I need two members of the Generation of Miracles for this goal. Ryouta is the only one I can truly count on. I know about his ankle, and I promise to make sure he doesn't overwork himself. I'll beat him if I see he's hurting, but I would be truly happy if he could miss a few of his practices to help me.”

You stop, taking in everyone’s expressions before meeting Kasamatsu’s once more,  “I'm not asking you to let me have him for the entire time, since I know the Winter Cup is around the corner. But if I could use his assistance for two times a week, I'd be really grateful Kasamatsu-senpai."

At the end of your statement, you bowed, causing all the members, including the coach, to look at you in shock. Never has anyone sounded so serious and be so polite about a request before. 

Kasamatsu looks at their coach, who sighs but nods before telling everyone else to go back to work. He turns his attention back to you, his eyes soft but serious.

"To be honest, I've never had someone request a favour so politely before." This caused you to look up at him, eyes wide. "Since you've been so kind and polite, I will accept your request. If I said no, I'm sure Kise would whine and complain."

"That's not true!"

"That aside," both of you turn your attention back to the captain, "We expect him to be at the Winter Cup, so my only request is you make sure he doesn't hurt his ankle any more than what it is. We can't have him sit out the entire Cup, especially since the rest of the Miracles will be there."

"Of course! I'd never allow Ryouta to hurt himself. I'll make sure he takes it easy. You have my word."

A smile appeared on the edge of his lips before he looked at Kise, "I expect you to listen to ____-san. If she tells me you've been overworking yourself, I will make sure the rest of the season will be a nightmare for you. _____-san is your senpai now."

"B-But I'm older than _____cchi! Why is she my senpai?"

Smacking the back of his head, Kasamatsu glared, "Because she's more mature than you. It takes a lot of courage to come to another captain and request a favour. Especially from a rival school. I'm only letting this slide because you are friends and she's very polite. Now get going before I change my mind!"

Bowing, you gave a big smile towards the black-haired captain, "Thank you so much Kasamatsu-senpai! I promise he'll be in good hands!""

With that, you dragged a crying Kise with you towards the basketball courts, eager to start training.

_____________________

Ditching your jackets, both you and Kise get into stances, facing against each other in a one-on-one. The ball bounced between your hand, your gaze focused on the player in front of you. You remembered Kise's ability to copy any technique and change it slightly to fit his style of basketball. But you weren't too scared as your movements were basic, so he'd already know how to block. Yet, you still found yourself dribbling the ball to the left, attempting to do a spin and releasing the ball from your fingers, but Kise blocks it with ease.

His height was definitely a factor for the easy block, but you didn't feel discouraged. This was always an issue when you faced Aomine in a one-on-one. That's why you wanted to focus on shooting threes better, so you'd have a better advantage from a distance.

"___cchi, if you want to get a basket, you're gonna have to do better than that!"

Scoffing, you gave him a smirk, "Obviously. I forgot what it's like to play against you guys. But still, just because people say you're a prodigy doesn't mean you should get a thick head."

Before Kise could blink, you switched gears and bounced the ball between his legs, quickly running behind him to catch the ball and managing to get a basket. Wiping the small bit of sweat from your forehead, you looked at him, who almost gawked at you, before shooting another smirk his way.

"That was awesome, ____cchi! How'd you learn that?"

Bouncing the ball once again, you shrugged, "It's not a special move. A few of the children I played against yesterday did the same thing. They definitely had the energy to bounce around. Besides, it made me realize that just because you're all taller than me, doesn't mean a short person can't be of use on the court. In fact, shorter people have the advantage when it comes to sneaking between players. If they time their movement right."

Scoffing, Kise also wore a smirk on his face, "You don't say. Well, I shouldn't hold back on you then."

Getting ready to charge, you looked at him, "I never intended on letting you. I want to see what you can truly do."

His body relaxed into a comfortable stance as he narrowed his eyes, "Try to get past me now."

________________

After about half hour or so, you felt extremely exhausted, while Kise stood there, panting but not entirely uncomfortable. Wiping the sweat from your forehead with your shirt, you quickly grabbed a bottle of water from your bag, almost chugging the liquid down. Exhaling, you turned your eyes to your best friend, who kept a content smile on his face.

"I gotta say ____cchi. For someone who's starting back up again, you're pretty good. You may not be as good as the rest of us, but you're definitely on par with Kasamatsu-senpai. Just don't tell him I said that, okay?"

Laughing, you gently punched his shoulder, "Of course I won't. I don't need to hear men whine about a girl being better than them. I heard enough of that in middle school."

Pouting, he whined, "_____ is so mean!~"

Rolling your eyes, you scoffed, "Come on now, Ryouta. Surely you know I'm joking."

Seeing his goofy expression right away made a small smile appear on your face. "Of course I do! ______cchi is one of the few people who actually laughs at my jokes. You don't get upset with me the way everyone else does."

Shrugging, you chose to sat on the bench, "It's because you're Ryouta. If it was anyone else, I'd probably feel annoyed. But I know this is how you are. And I'm happy basketball hasn't completely changed you."

There was a weird look in his eyes, one you couldn't place, before he chose to sit beside you on the bench. He rested his hands on his knees, before turning his golden eyes to you.

"I'm sorry about how Aomine-kun treated you."

This caused his eyes to widen before a frown replaced his smile. "Why are you apologizing for that? Did you see the the match between us?"

You nodded. "I snuck in, as I didn't want to be noticed. I just... I felt I should apologize to you because I did the same for Kuroko and Kagami-kun. You know as much as me he never used to be like that. Even if another team lost, he still shook their hand. But all he did was look down on the both of you. It really upset me that I couldn't do anything about it. I didn't know he'd be so cold to you guys, despite being close with you."

"But ______cchi, it's not your fault. Yes, I did feel hurt and betrayed by his words, but thanks to Kasamatsu-senpai, I feel much better. Besides, that's why I'm getting stronger, so I can win against Aominecchi next time!"

You felt the small smile curl the edge of your lip. Of course Kise didn't give up, much like Kuroko and Kagami. If anything, losing only hardened their resolve to get stronger. You really did have great friends.

"Thank you, Ryouta."

He blinked, his eyebrow raised in confusion. "Eh? What for ____cchi?"

Shaking your head, you look at him, and he gasps when he saw the smile reach your eyes. It has been a while since he's seen you genuinely happy. You turned your eyes to the court, before a sigh escaped your lips.

"I'm really happy you and Kuroko chose to go to good schools."

"What do you mean by that?"

"I mean, I'm glad both of you work so well with your teams. Both of you have respectable captains who not only want to win, but want to win together. You guys have teams that enjoy playing the sport because you like it. You guys don't just play to win. And when you guys lose, your teams pick you up and encourage you to be stronger. That's how it used to be at Teiko until things went to shit.”

You sigh, looking up at the sky, “To be honest, when we were graduating, I made a wish that everyone would find teams that would appreciate your talents but not abuse them. While it seems everyone's captains depend on you guys to win, they also realize they can't solely rely on your strength alone. I just... I feel better knowing you have seen things Kuroko's way, despite having your own style. That's why I'll continue to cheer for Kuroko to win against all of you. Because I truly want his way of basketball to win."

Standing up, you sighed before looking at Kise, your heart feeling more light. It made you feel better to have someone listen to you without calling you out as weak. It's been so long since you've had a heart to heart like this with Kise and it made you feel happy, elated. As though your relationship got stronger because of this. Stretching your arms, you felt a yawn escape your lips before reaching to grab your bag.

"____cchi. Wait a second."

Feeling his hand on yours, you blink before he pulls you into a hug. You were used to his behaviour as he always did this, even back in middle school. But there was a feeling in your gut that told you it was different this time. You didn't know what it was but you needed the hug, and you felt yourself lean into his embrace, his scent overriding your senses. How long had it been since Aomine hugged you like this? You couldn't remember and this thought alone made you confused. Why was Kise making you think about Aomine?

He rests his head on yours, his grip tightening as you felt his heart beat gently. A smile graced your lips as the warmth from his body engulfed yours and somehow made all your restless thoughts disappear. He always seemed to have this affect on you, but this was the first time you truly noticed it.

Was it because your mind was always focused on Aomine and how you imagined him doing this?

Pulling away, Kise gives you a big smile before ruffling your hair. His hand was so gentle against your skin and it made you feel warm. This definitely made you feel protected and safe, like the way a brother would comfort you.

"I like you, ____cchi."

Holding his hand in yours, you gave him the biggest smile you could, feeling very happy at his words. "I like you too, Ryouta."

Shaking his head, he sighs before his expression changes, and you couldn't read his eyes anymore.

"No. I mean, I really like you, _____cchi. More than you think."

Despite the sun beating down on the two of you, you couldn't feel the warmth it radiated. Instead, you felt as though someone doused you in ice cold water as you tried to register your best friend's words.

'He really... likes me? Ryouta-kun likes me more than a friend?'

[akira-seijuro]

The moment of Fall - Part 1

I am trying to listen to serendipity right now by bts. And it’s still trying to stream on my music player. By the way, do you know what serendipity means? Let me Google it for you.

Well, it means ‘accident, happy accident, chance, happy chance,’ a fucking fluke?! I swear, those are the actual Google results. Why does it sound similar to me at all? Because something happened to me recently. I fell again. I didn’t want to use the word 'love,’ because it is too soon to be so much. But the word 'like’ seems to be pretty small. I blushed the entire day, spent my work in the poetry of my head, not being able to think how to troubleshoot a device because of my heart, yes not my brain this time, my heart. I’ll tell you why later. So, yes my heart could not let my brain tell the steps to my colleague who wanted me to help him troubleshoot. He was staring at me in blank, because he thought I was way too dull all this week. Well, my dear colleague, in my defense, I met the guy only twice and one of them was when it was my mission to unleash all the anger at him and the other was when I was so pissed at his best friend who was my first love and also at his other best friend, who was/is my best friend as well who ditched me that day.

The first time we met was when we were crossing paths at the gates, we stared at each other properly, probably the only time in those 4 years of college. A 3-4 second stare and no shit happened then. I always was intrigued by him and I wanted to talk to him, one, because he was close to 2 people whom I love the most and two because everyone told me he was a difficult person to talk to. It just seemed challenging and I’m really good at such things. The next time was when we sat down for the same interview. The thing is, he didn’t register in my head properly back then, because I was too focused on winning against him in the group discussion. They made 2 groups of the group discussions, both separate and unlinked. Destiny put us in the same group. I was sitting on the right side of the table (extreme bottom side) and he on the left side of the table (non-extreme top side). So it’s easier to say, diagonally towards the corners, but shit didn’t strike before. I was like motherfucking shit, this guy had to be in this group, I’m gonna get him because I was too pissed that he was close to Loki and I’m not. This is an exaggeration. I didn’t want to hurt him. I just didn’t want him to and most of his wing-mates sort of hurt me in one or the other way. So it was just my defense mechanism to get ready for the battle.

If you’re wondering Loki? Yeah, let’s call my first love Loki, my best friend/brother Oikawa (I’m a big fan of Haikyuu and Kuroko-no basuke : Japanese manga/anime - I used to be like Akashi from kuroko nobasuke - then turned to Kageyama - then turned to Iwaizumi from haikyuu, hence Oikawa, the best friend). Let’s call the man in the focus Chris. You’ll understand why in the coming words. I never once thought I’ll write about Chris and the encounter with him but you know life, it just simply sucks. Now I can’t find him on Facebook, probably he deactivated. So I went through Loki’s profile, the irony, but couldn’t find a single thing related to Chris on his wall. First I’m only going through to know his birthday because it has always been a compulsion for me to know the birthdays of people who impress me, I don’t even know why. A few days back, his FB profile picture was Red John smiley. I love Patrick Jane, Simon Baker was amazing playing that role. Are you fucking kidding me?! This guy is actually like 40% Patrick Jane. 40% because Patrick is so cool and positive on the outside and you know, smart too. Well, anyway I asked one of my close friends to check for his dob on LinkedIn because he will get to know if I went through. Let’s see. I don’t think there will be any luck though. So, anyway, I really-really-really- really-really-really like this guy, like Carly-Ray-Jepsen’s song 'I really like you.’ As I am writing all this, it’s becoming easier and it’s sort of like going away I guess or it’s becoming stronger. I can’t differentiate anymore.

My bro, the Oikawa kept telling me that he is the perfect dude for me, I was like dude fuck off. I don’t like any of your wing-mates. Falling for one, turned everything upside down, the next one is not going to be from your wing. And a few days back before it all started, he told me he met a guy who said something that mindfucked him. He didn’t want to tell me because he thought it will mindfuck me as well. I said try me. Then Oikawa said 'The guy I met told me that he will never have kids. The world is so fucked up.’ After 2 days of my clever bro’s contemplation, he asked the guy why? The guy said that world is so fucked up, the government, people and all - something on that lines, he didn’t tell me the exact conversation, so why would you bring kids into a world like this. Guess the first thought in my head, 'He is my fucking Thor.’ Okay, brief flashback - my bro promised me he will find someone for me and I told him even thor had to prove himself to lift the Mjolnir - the hammer. So basically I became the Mjolnir and my the one would be thor. Anyway, I refrained from telling him the first thought in my head and told him, dude, it makes sense obviously. What’s the big deal? Why would you bring people into a world like this? He was woah, this girl isn’t as mindfucked as me. Well, Oikawa, I’m a dark person who understands it better than anyone amongst your circle, Chris is exceptional though. I had a buddha phase in my life where I saw suffering, death, and loss of so many. Then I could not control it anymore and I told him, dude, you met my fucking Thor. Please don’t tell me he is the gay dude from the office because I’m straight. He asked me if I really wanted to know who. I said 'yes, of course.’ He said 'the thor is Chris.’

Fucked. Psyched. Fucked. I fell off as if there is nothing to hold on to. The moment of fall. Yep, that’s when I have decided what I was going to call this writing. Another heartbreak because this guy doesn’t like or can’t to talk or meet people. I don’t know for sure. That doesn’t even make any fucking sense. All those counseling sessions, medications have convinced me that it’s the fucking pheromones that made me fall for Loki, but I didn’t even ever say hi to this guy. Everything had a logical reason behind it until now. After almost exactly 4 years, since 2015, this is the first time it didn’t make any sense at all. I fell for a guy whom I barely saw, like a fictional personality. But he is fucking Real. All the bloody lump of flesh is real. But as my bro said 'that fucking guy is a chuth and the beautiful possibility might be ruined because of him.’ I am being fair now, he is not at all like Kise Ryota from kuroko nobaske, who is so outgoing and swag. Loki is little like Kise. This guy is totally different from Kise if at all he is -infinity% like kise. Strange but known coincidence, he plays basket-ball. I don’t like to use the words 'good, God and happy’ anymore. So I’m gonna say 'sound, nature to assign all the unexplanatory blame, blithe/gleeful.’ I felt so bad that nature is such a bitch it had to take away thor from me and it doesn’t even give me back a captain America. Because of the way we both were born, we can never meet. Ever. The next morning I called Oikawa, chanting fucking asshole while waking up and told him how disturbed I was, I am for Chris. It felt like another heartbreak, the moment I came to know it was him like someone cut my heart into a perfect 2 using scissors instead of a single stab to stop it. I used to have 1% belief when my bro used to tell me he was perfect and 99% bitch please face. Now it became 100% with another zero towards the right at the end. But goddamn, this is not happening. It’s s reality fiction. I called my girlfriend and I asked her if I can come over. She invited me to stay over for the night and I got mindfucked. She was like why dude? Did you forget me or something? Why are you so shocked. It felt so new having someone be so nice to you without even asking after a long time. She asked me to go meet Oikawa in the middle of the night. Even though she was sleeping, she woke up at 11.45 to let me out. 2.20 to let me in and 7.45 to let me out again. Such an awesome friend. I met Oikawa and we talked random stuff like he says. Then I came back and slept beside her on the floor even though she gave me a comfy bed to sleep in. I needed someone, I wouldn’t have minded if it were a hungry tiger sleeping instead of her. But having her made me feel so gleeful that a cold floor felt more comfortable than a fluffy mattress.

I didn’t fall because he is Chris but because I came to know about the existence of a probable person who can understand the darkness with which I’m living in, the darkness that I am. I know all this is might as well just be an image in my head.

Either way, I woke up heartbroken and reasoned with myself on the way back to my place that I’m simply just too broken. So stop searching to trying to fix yourself Akira, you are only breaking yourself further in that process. I am a broken human. My own brain fucks me up, feels bad and tries to make up for it and realizes it has gone way too far and gives up on itself. I am that broken. I’ll probably never have kids too because I’m too broken to have them, not because the world is fucked up Chris. I would like to tell you something. The world is fucked up, but with one person to love and to care and to understand like how you’d want her to, the world is not just livable, its everything but unworthy. The words sad, grief, depression, anxiety would still be applicable, so will the words happy, enjoyable and amazing. I know I just said the word happy. You might lose that person whom you have found, she might die later, but I’m sure she will give you all that you need to be hopeful forever. Let me love you, you will know. Serendipity ends now. Thank you, Jimin Park, for that beautiful song.

But you won’t let me in Chris. So it’s all still broken for both of us. Because we both are broken by our own unloved lives, but I think if it’s our love together, it’ll be happily livable and hopeful. But I know the way we were born doesn’t allow it. All I’m saying is we can still change it, we can bear anything if we can choose. Even if it's your worst fear, it's bearable if you choose. The choice is yours.

If you guys are wondering whether my friend found him on LinkedIn, yes she did. But that fucking asshole didn’t mention his dob in bio.

[shoichee]

Rose-Tinted

Craving for angst with kise please!! Like both are afraid to act on their feelings which ends up hurting the both of them unconsciously. Idk, maybe kise is trying to “test” the girl, but went a bit too far i guess. Whatever floats your boat!! I just want angst but maybe hopefully still HEA in the end (or whichever your muse takes you) ;-; thank youu ❤️

Kise x Reader

Word Count: 6975

Note: oh my GOD, HELP THIS WAS 17 PAGES ON MY GOOGLE DOC I COULDNT STOP MYSELF………. angst, happy ending, fake dating!au, mean old kise ….. girl idk WHAT I WROTE I HOPE YOU ENJOY IT ????? reader POV first half and kise POV second half~

@knb-kreations

»»—————　☼　—————««

He holds you so gently, the touch so feather-light as he cradles your head and dips his own head in for a soft peck. The warmth of his lips makes you feel things you shouldn’t feel, things that you still chased for more in a never-ending cycle. You hold onto his hands thumbing your temples to try to anchor yourself further into the bliss, but it ends all too soon when he separates from you and gives you a radiant smile.

You were rudely pulled out of your rose-tinted trance when you heard gasps and chatter amongst the gawking students nearby, particularly Kise’s fans. He doesn’t pay any mind to their reactions and turns his friendly demeanor towards them.

“So you see everyone,” he cheerfully says. “I’m sorry I can’t accept any of your affections, as much as it flatters me so… after all, I have my dear (y/n)-cchi by my side!”

Groans and cries rung throughout the campus as most wail about missing out the opportunity to be Kise’s romantic partner, but before you can listen to their laments, Kise hurriedly tugs you away to the privacy of the back of a building nearby, away from prying eyes and ears. He drops your wrist just as fast and yawns with a stretch.

“What time should we meet up tomorrow?” he casually says, taking out his phone from his pocket.

“Huh?”

“Well, we can’t exactly sell our image of us being a couple unless we walk to and from school together consistently, right (y/n)?”

The rose-tinted lenses on your self-indulgent fantasy shatters to the ground instantly. You gulp, the swallowed spit hitting down to your stomach in heavy dread, where it was previously occupied by fluttering butterflies just moments prior.

This isn’t real.

“Ah… um,” you hesitated, thinking of a reasonable time, so you can wake up and get ready accordingly. “How about this time…”

“Yeah, that sounds good,” he replies, shutting off his phone before he walks a few steps away from you but then stopping. “Huh, uh… should I walk you home first? There might be some nosy people around, and we might as well get some practice in as an official couple.”

“W-Why don’t we start tomorrow morning instead?” you suggest. “A lot’s happened today, and well, I wanna have some time to myself.” Kise impassively stares at you for a couple of seconds before he forms a grin.

“Ah ha, well then, (y/n)-cchi,” he shouts jovially, making sure that his voice rang throughout the area for anyone nearby to hear. “I’ll be waiting for you tomorrow morning, my love!”

“Y-Yeah…” you mumbled, your hand held up in a half-hearted wave. “See you…”

With that parting, you turned to the opposite direction to exit through the side gates to get to your home. Your mind scrambles to recall the impulsive decisions you decided to take on a whim today. The grip on your bag tightens as you finally realized what sort of situation you got yourself into.

You like Kise, plain and simple. You’ve always gazed longingly at him whenever his presence entered within your line of vision. You couldn’t even fault his fans for being so whipped for the basketball player in the first place, not when you felt like you were more enthralled by him than anyone else. So what does a love-stricken fool like you do when the source of attraction directly asks you to partake in a “relationship?” You immediately accept his conditional proposal on auto-pilot before he barely finishes his sentence.

It felt so wrong, yet so right. How can you hate this arrangement when you enjoyed that first kiss you shared with Kise earlier? But how can you love this arrangement when you knew Kise only kissed you to drive everyone off? You stopped on the sidewalk and heaved a huge exhale, and you continued to walk again, the action not even remotely able to clear your head. Your mind continues to swirl and race.

You agreed to this. He even laid out his intentions very clearly to you, and he was more than ready to leave you alone if you didn’t consent to this. But stupid, desperate you did. You were ashamed to feel even a shred of flattery when he told you that you were the only one he can ask to drive off his fans in this only effective method: a relationship.

“Why me?” you said, looking up at his casual posture. “Don’t you have someone you like to ask to be in a relationship? I’m sure they’d be more than happy to accept you…”

“Well,” he mumbled. “I don’t really have someone in mind… you’re kinda the only one who doesn’t drool over me whenever I’m near, and I just ought to ask for your help.”

“W-Well,” you slightly stammered. “I’m okay with helping you, right, so…”

“This isn’t something to accept so readily, you know,” he said, raising a brow. “I know this is super sudden, and it wouldn’t be fair for me to force an answer out of you right at this moment. Besides, I don’t think there’s any incentive for you to be in this either? It’s okay if you don’t want to.”

“N-No!” you interrupted, but you coughed to regain your composure. “I mean, I do have something in this… maybe if I got with you, people would stop trying to harass and tease me if I had someone like you by my side.” That was a half-truth, but you knew there was no way you could reveal your crush to him… not when he believed you were “different” from the others. But can anyone blame you for sticking up for Kise when someone was talking about him like a piece of meat rather than a normal person? “Besides, for you to get to this point, things must’ve gotten too chaotic to simply tell them to stop, right?”

“Huh… is that so,” he said, stretching his neck, but you didn’t know whether or not he intentionally ignored your last question. “Well, if you’re fine with this, I’m letting you know now that we’ll be doing actual couple stuff, like…” He pauses for a second to gauge your reaction. “Hugging, hand-holding… probably kissing too…”

“Y-Yeah,” you nodded. “That’s fine with me! And we’ll have a code word in case either of us overstep our boundaries in any way… maybe…”

“Unagi,” he said.

“Huh? Why?”

“Because they’re the bane of evil…”

“It’s just a dish, but…” you laughed, giddy at how he already showed a different side to you apart from his cool persona. “Alright, let’s go with that.”

How long were you able to keep this up? You pat yourself on the cheeks to dismiss the rest of your fantasies. If you keep this up, Kise will soon notice how you actually were head-over-heels for him all this time, and surely you’ll lose any future chance with him. Besides, maybe you can use this unique arrangement to learn about Kise and his hobbies other than basketball. Yes, you tell yourself, jogging the rest of the way home. It won’t be so bad, after all.

———

Starting today, you’ll be officially dating Kise.

That’s how it is on paper, anyways.

How are you supposed to act while dating the Kise Ryōta? Equally cool and flamboyant? Athletically capable? Would you weird out Kise if you were the one initiating physical affection?

“(y/n)!”

You flinch, not expecting anyone to call for you so early in the morning, and your walking route to school was never shared with another student as far as you were concerned. After all, your path was a little more obscured and unorthodox compared to the majority of students traversing the main neighborhood paths.

“Sorry… did I scare you?” You stop and turn to the source of the voice, only to be surprised when you see Kise himself. “Why do you look so surprised? Didn’t we agree on the time to meet up and walk to school together?”

“Oh… yeah…” In the midst of your thoughts, it seems that you forgot the arrangements you made with him yesterday evening. “My bad?”

“Oh, come on,” he gives a mock-hurt face with a hand to his chest. “Am I that forgettable, (y/n)?”

“N-No!” you immediately deny. You knew it was more like the other way around, the way constant thoughts of Kise preoccupy in your head too much. How can you ever forget him when he constantly runs through your mind everyday for so long? Kise merely gives a good-natured sigh before he changes the subject.

“Kidding,” he says, holding out a hand to you. “Seriously though, get your act together. We gotta start acting the part if we want this to work.” You stare at his hand, hesitating for a split moment before you put your own hand on top. His large hand easily encompasses yours, and the warmth makes you widen your eyes. It… felt nice.

You were so entranced by your linked hands that you failed to notice how Kise was staring at your face with a sharp glint in his eyes, but when you look up back to his face, he easily morphs his expression into his signature grin. He swings your hands around like an excited kid and turns to walk ahead to tug you along.

“Alrighty!~ Let’s hurry together before I get chewed out by Kasamatsu-senpai!”

“Kise, have you ever considered that it’s not really your tardiness that gets the captain mad but more so about the way you seem to irritate him with the way you skip around?”

“(y/n),” he says with a pout, “you know you’re not being convincing when you use my last name to address me as your boyfriend.”

“R-Right,” you stammer, still not used to the entire situation. “Ah… wait. Don’t you uh… call people who are close to you with -cchi?”

“Huh…” he mumbles, looking up at the cloudy sky before looking ahead of the path. “Not necessarily people who are close, just people who I really admire. I guess I addressed you like that yesterday without really thinking.”

“U-Uh, right… sorry.” He stops walking with your hand still in tow, and you almost bumped into his back at his sudden movement. He turns to you with a quite serious look.

“Do you want me to call you that?”

It was a normal question, but for some reason it felt like the next sentence coming from your mouth would make a huge impact on the way the two of you would interact in the future. From the way Kise looks at you with such a scrutinizing gaze, it feels like a trick question, and you’re not sure how to answer it. Your mouth goes dry when you try to reply.

“I… I don’t know.”

“You don’t know?” Kise’s eyes widen a fraction before he gives an unexpected chortle. “Pfft… how do you not know what you want to be addressed as?”

“Arrgh, oh shut it!” you frown, hitting his arm in a fluster before stalking off ahead. You remember that you were supposed to go to school together, and you begrudgingly stop and turn back to wait for him to catch up. “Ryōta, just call me whatever you want. You’re already calling me by my first name, so I doubt anyone would care if you added -cchi or not.” Still, your cheeks turn pink at the realization that Kise would be uttering your first name for the next couple… whenever this relationship will last.

“You… wait up!” Kise wheezes dramatically, despite the both of you knowing full well how easily he can catch up to your stride. “You really shouldn’t be treating your boyfriend like that! Especially on the first day!” Kise holds your hand again to lead you to the rest of the way to school.

All the while, you’ve been staring at his back, your heartstrings being tugged so mercilessly at the cacophony of emotions you were feeling the whole time. He felt so warm, so inviting, but the way he held your hands felt cold and transactional.

———

You’re not sure how to react whenever Kise introduced himself as your “boyfriend” to everyone or whenever nosy students inquired about your new “boyfriend.” All you could do was gulp and manage the most convincing act you could do within different contexts. Smile, laugh, get bashful, be modest in talking about how Kise managed to “like” you, pretend you know many embarrassing stories and sides to him that no one else did. Truthfully, you were just as in the dark as anybody else.

You think the only reason why everyone bought the couple-act was due to how enamored you were in talking about him. This was the only response you could be truthful about. At least you could use your huge crush to your advantage in portraying yourself as the “lovey-dovey” half of the couple. Yet it feels unbelievably wrong.

You knew you had to prepare yourself some preset answers for curious students, but you didn’t expect yourself to be participating in neverending “interviews” in these social settings. You thought this relationship would entail a closer access to Kise’s true self, but things suggest otherwise.

“Ryōta,” you say, peering up at his face as the both of you walk down the hallway to your designated spot for lunch together. Even as you two walk, he puts a reasonable distance between the two of you when there is no one in close proximity. Even when you two are together, he only grabs your hand when it’s socially convenient. Even when Kise approaches you to talk, you know it’s never anything beyond for the sake of acting. And you agreed to this entire thing.

“Hm?” He spares a glance to your figure before returning his gaze ahead.

“Uh, I brought extra food today,” you say, trying to use this situation to try to express your genuine feelings to him in small increments. “I brought an extra bento box too… in case, you don’t wanna actually share one…” He was about to reply before a pair of students turned around the corner to head towards your direction. Kise narrows his eyes at the unexpected turn of events, and immediately turns to you brightly.

“(y/n)! You really thought that I wouldn’t like the idea?” he pouts. “Of course I wanna share a bento with you! Silly…” He slightly bends to your level to place a chaste peck on your forehead.

“Ah…” you freeze at his soft touch, your legs stiff in place as you stop walking. Kise, in response, moves his lips to your ears, and you slightly shiver at the unexpected intimacy… it was the closest he’s gotten to you ever since that public stunt when he kissed you in front of everyone the other day.

“Hey, don’t just stand there… you can’t overreact like this over something couples do everyday.” You bit your lip in an attempt to stop your heart from sinking from disappointment, but in turning your face to him to spill an apology, your face ended up right in front of his. Your eyes widen but he only stares at you with such an intensity that makes you hold your breath in anticipation.

But he immediately draws away and stretches with a yawn. “Looks like those people left right after they thought they intruded on a private moment between us,” he says. “Sheesh, people really do the most to be so nosy nowadays.” You wonder how he can be so casual about this all. Perhaps it was a mistake to be here like this when you were so in love with him, overthinking every single thing he did.

Why didn’t he kiss you this time? Did he not find you the teensiest attractive enough to want to kiss you even without an audience nearby?

“Come on,” he mumbles, waving a hand through your face. “Quit making that face. I won’t be doing that to you without warning anytime soon. My bad, okay?” Kise sheepishly holds out a hand for a handshake to make peace, and you wordlessly take his hand. One day, you’ll stop being his special someone to savor his warmth…

No, you thought, you’re an idiot… he’s never considered you as someone special.

You debated in telling him that you were fine with him kissing you, but you hold your tongue, afraid that he’ll realize your true feelings about him. Besides, were you really okay with him kissing you when he didn’t reciprocate the same feelings?

“It… wasn’t like what you think,” you hesitate. “It just caught me off guard.”

“Well,” he laughs. “That’s a relief! By the way…” He stops to settle himself on the bench. “What’s exactly your lunch? Since you went through the effort to bring extras, I guess I’ll eat them.”

“I packed salmon from leftovers I had from home,” you reply, taking out your bento box and utensils. You decide to shake off your negative thoughts and shove them to the back of your mind. He makes a horrified face at the lunchbox. “Kise, what’s wrong?”

“Do you… happen to have anything else packed?”

“Rice?”

“Well,” he coughs. “I’m not a fan of dishes with boned fish.”

“Didn’t you say you hated unagi too?” Kise shyly averts his gaze before he reluctantly confirms it so. “They’re delicious though! Especially when they’re grilled!” At first, he refused to answer, but the more you tried to poke and prod (literally too, at his ribs), he finally gave in.

“Alright, alright! But I swear, you better not tell anyone!… I choked on a fish bone one time…”

“… And?”

“And yeah.”

“You choked on a bone once and you got scared out of eating fish—”

“Shhhh!” he hushes, emphasizing his hiss with a finger to his lips. At this very moment, you saw a glimpse into who Kise really is, and you can’t help but bust out a genuine, carefree laugh for the first time in front of him. In embarrassment, he bonks your head with his fist to get you to stop laughing, but it only makes you more conscious of how close he is to you.

But just as quickly and telepathically, Kise puts some distance between the two of you, sitting closer to the edge of the bench. He opts to hunch over casually and keenly watch you scarf down your meal in minutes without a care.

You wonder if you should feel guilty for enjoying this moment with Kise, even if he was only waiting with you out of obligation of being your “boyfriend,” but right now, you allowed yourself to indulge, letting your heart beat sporadically without guilt and fear for once. You continue to savor your lunch in silence, concentrating on munching around the fish bones, while Kise sat in contemplation all the while.

———

“You should come watch our practice game today, (y/n).”

“Eh?”

You tilt your head at him in confusion. It’s been two weeks since you started this arrangement with him, but nothing extraordinary or groundbreaking happened between the two of you, much to your despondency. But you knew, you shouldn’t be asking for too much when you already have the once-in-a-lifetime chance to be close to him like this.

“There’s going to be a lot of people coming,” he explains. “Even if it’s just a practice game… it’d be weird if you weren’t there, because, you know, we’re dating.”

“I don’t mind going,” you reply. “It sounds fun.”

“You know, you’ve been agreeing to everything I’ve been suggesting the entire time,” he mumbles to himself, but he zips his mouth shut when he sees you instinctively moving closer to try to catch what he said. “Uh, in any case… just stop by the gym whenever you can.”

So here you are a few hours later, being the first person to settle yourself on top of the 2nd floor of the gym. You rest your arms on the railway, fascinated by the Kaijō basketball team and their skills. As they warm up on the courts, it’s the first time you see Kise truly at ease and happy with the people he cares about, and your heart pangs in jealousy seeing his genuine smile. You were pulled out of your thoughts when you realized the gym became completely crowded, the constant chattering announcing huge crowds along the entrance and the lucky watchers at the 2nd floor with you.

You didn’t mind the onlookers when all you were focused on was Kise throughout the entire game with a smitten look, and you weren’t surprised when his team easily won against the other local school.

“That’s Kise isn’t it?” You were about to turn to leave the higher floor to wait outside the gym when you heard his name. You stop to eavesdrop on the conversation next to you.

“Yeah, I’ve been hearing about him way too much. Something about him dating now?”

“He’s dating (l/n) right now, which is super weird because they never even talked… and all of the sudden, they’re dating? I didn’t think of him to be into short-term flings.”

“You think he’s using (l/n) in some way? What an asshole.”

“Yikes. You’re probably not even that far off the bulls-eye. He’s a really heartless guy, from what I’ve heard.”

“Hey,” you interrupt, scaring the two girls out of their wits before they turn to you. “I don’t think you should talk about Kise like that when all you know of him is through speculation.”

“Ugh, here we go again with his fans…” one of them groans, rolling her eyes. “Look, I get it, he’s good-looking and all, but I don’t understand how you can defend him to death when he doesn’t even spare a glance at you… ah… shit, you’re (l/n)?” A flash of hurt was visible on your face for a split second before you frowned. Their words unintentionally hit the nail in the coffin.

“Whether I’m (l/n) or not doesn’t really matter,” you say angrily. “Gossiping about anyone like that isn’t something you should make a habit out of.”

“Jeez, let’s just leave,” the other girl whispers, dragging the first girl along.

You simply stand there watching them leave, but you can’t shake off what they said. They were right… how could you be so whipped for him when you know he’ll never see you the same way?

“Oy!”

Kise’s voice brings you back to your consciousness as he waves at you from the court. “You’ve been standing there for a while! Hurry up, or I’ll leave you behind, (y/n)-cchi!”

“Coming!” You race from the 2nd floor to the ground level to catch up to him, your heart pounding all the while. Did he… did he just…?

You shake your head before you reunite with him to walk home together. Stop it… don’t overthink it.

———

Kise waits at his usual spot to wait for you before walking to school together. It’s been three weeks since he’s approached you to “date.” He’s grown quite comfortable with this arrangement, being close to you and backing off when it’s convenient. After all, if you somehow showed a gruesome true self of yours, he’d be able to separate himself from you with no consequences… even if his heart would cry out not to.

“Ryōta!” There you are, running down the path towards him so cheerfully. Could you really be an awful person when you have such a pure smile like that?

“Ah, (y/n)-cchi,” he says. “We should hurry if we wanna be inside campus. It’s a little chilly today, so being indoors sounds really nice right now.” He peers over to your face to see your nose slightly red from the cold, and he huffs out a chuckle, noting the warm puff of air escaping from his own lips.

“I guess it’s a little cold today,” you say, looking up at Kise with a slight childish wonder. “Hey, that’s a pretty cool cloud that you puffed out.”

“You have some clouds around you too.” He gently smiles, and he notes that your eyes widen at the sight of him. “Wha? Is my face that horrific, (y/n)-cchi?” You avert your gaze as your cheeks grow just as red as your nose.

“Nah… i-it’s nothing…ah—” He holds your cheeks to turn your face back to him, and he draws near with a serious gaze, bumping his forehead against yours.

“You’re actually really cold…”

“Uh, um… I don’t think I’m c-cold anymore—” you stammer, your eyes darting to look everywhere but his face, and Kise’s eyes only scrutinize your behavior further.

“Hm, if you say so…” he mumbles. Your eyes flutter close at the anticipation, and he feels the pull towards your lips, closing his own lids shut…

Wait, what was he thinking? He snaps his lids open and slightly draws himself away to look at you, still vulnerable with your closed eyes. It’s only when he drops his hands from your cheeks and turns to walk ahead when you flutter your eyes open again. Don’t let your feelings for (y/n) blind you into figuring out who they really are.

“Come on,” Kise calls out to you. “We should get going… we don’t wanna be late.” Besides, what if there’s a possibility that you don’t really like him at all?

“Y-Yeah…”

The rest of the walk was in silence, with Kise slightly ahead of you. Perhaps if he turned around at least once to check on you, he would’ve seen the consequences of his actions.

You were silently crying the entire walk.

———

Nothing seems to change much for the entire month. The way the two of you dance and sway around each other, while never being too close, never being too affectionate, never being completely honest. In this shared rose-tinted world, the frail glass that holds these moments together threatens to break with every fickle interaction. Every shared kiss constitutes another small crack to the rose-tinted crystal.

And both of you are content with just the way things are.

Or that’s what you both mutter to yourselves like a mantra.

“Ryōta!” you call out to him. “Did you wait long?”

“Not really,” he says. “I just barely got out too… the teacher was really lenient on dismissal today, actually.” His heart swells at the sight of you as usual, but just as quickly, he’s always managed to quash his emotions in check.

For the first time, you initiate physical touch with him without hesitation, linking your hands with his and snuggling up to him. He flinches, not fast enough to process the sudden warmth of your body, and he immediately separates himself from you. Do you actually like him after all?… No, something is up, right?

“Ryōta…?” You flinch just as severely from the sudden reaction, and he turns to avoid looking at your face, knowing that his resolve would crumble right in front of you. He’s a coward, and he fucking knows it.

“S-Sorry, (y/n)-cchi! I don’t know what came over me like that, but you know you don’t have to force yourself to do things like that, right? There’s no one here, so let’s just walk home together like we always do, yeah?”

He turns to already walk ahead, too afraid of hearing your response and hoping you would follow and catch up to him… like you always do.

You simply stood there for a few moments, anguish clear as the sky above you as you keep telling yourself to manage your own expectations. Still, your voice croaks out quietly to respond to him, even if you knew he wasn’t going to hear it.

“… But I wanted to do these things with you, Ryōta.”

———

It’s been several days since that incident.

It was very awkward for the most part, the walks to and from school silent and suffocating. He’s not quite sure how to go about it while trying not to sound disingenuous about it. Nonetheless, even through his quiet apology, your face still lights up, and he’s confused about why you would ever be so forgiving of him.

Although today, lines have been crossed and this shared secretive world between the two of you have completely shattered to the point of no return.

It was quite a blur, an instinct that Kise has developed over the course of this relationship. Every time a group of students drew near, he was always ready to tug you close for a kiss until they left and carry on with their day. Today was usually no exception.

Another group of students was hanging around the corner, presumably spying on you two, and Kise did what he’s always done, grabbing your hand and embracing you for a kiss. Your eyes were blown open in surprise, but when you saw Kise’s eyes elsewhere, something finally snapped inside.

You push him away at his chest.

“U-Unagi… unagi…” Your voice trembles, and you use your arms to cover up the fresh tears. The code word sounds unbelievably stupid out of context, but at this moment, the word alone stabs Kise in his chest. “I-I… just stop… please.” Kise stares dumbly at you, processing the fact that you just used the agreed safe word against him.

“… (y/n)-cchi?” Kise asks with a confused smile. “You’ve never objected to kissing before… I’ve even told you what we’ll be doing if you agreed to this…?”

“How…” you choke on tears. “H-How can you kiss me like that while your eyes are on someone else…?”

“I don’t understand—”

“A-Am I that atrocious to kiss unless you stare at something else or there’s some convenience?”

“I don’t get it, (y/n)-cchi,” he frowns. “Did you expect more out of this or am I missing something?”

“There was no reason to kiss me like that,” you softly wail. “Everyone already knows we’re a thing for… o-over a month now. There’s no reason to kiss me around people anymore when they won’t suspect us anyways…”

“So you don’t want me to kiss you anymore?” Kise’s heart sinks in thinking about where this is going.

“No!—you don’t… you don’t fucking get it! I don’t get it—! Why are we doing this anymore—I just, I see no reason to continue this anymore… you already shooed off your fans, right? Why haven’t you ended this?!”

“(y/n)-cchi—I…” He reaches out for you, but you immediately recoil.

“No—please… no more, I can’t do this anymore!” you sniffle. “I can’t fucking do this… I’m done, I’m tired—please… just look for another person to take my place… I… I’m done—I can’t pretend with you anymore when I always expect more out of it like a love-stricken fool!”

“I…”

“Look—see,” you choke. “I’m just like everyone else who’s in love with you, I’m no different than everyone else R-Ryōta… so that’s why, I-I… can’t do this anymore!”

Kise stands there, staring at you running away from him. It was like everything had gone silent, save for the sound of his blood pounding in his ears.

“You think he’s using (l/n) in some way? What an asshole.”

“Yikes. You’re probably not even that far off the bulls-eye. He’s a really heartless guy, from what I’ve heard.”

He hated rumors, he really did… but for the first time, he feels like he deserves every word thrown at him around the hallways and classrooms. His memory flits to the time when he felt warm from seeing you standing up for him, even if he wasn’t bothered by them before. Now, the warmth is replaced by agonizing regret and guilt wracking through his entire body. His hands feel cold with you gone from his side.

What has he done?

———

He’s grown quiet for the next week.

It’s been a week since you ran from him, and it’s been a week since he last talked to you.

Even his teammates were concerned about his reserved behavior, but just as always, he’s managed to shoot them a convincing smile. Kasamatsu was more persistent about this but eventually dropped it seeing Kise’s refusal to talk about it.

That day when you pushed him away, he couldn’t sleep, his thoughts keeping him awake the entire night. He resolved himself to talk to you the next day… but he changed his mind the last minute… and then he told himself he’d do it the next day… and then he changed his mind again.

He tells himself that it’s because you rightfully hate him, with the way you’d surround yourself with other crowds and groups to prevent him from walking up to you when you were alone. He tells himself that it’s because both you and him needed space to cool off and go back to the way you two were. He refuses to tell himself that it’s because he’s an honest-to-god coward.

He misses you. He misses you damn badly. Why the fuck did he go through such lengths instead of confessing to you straight up? He tells himself that he was being cautious. He tells himself that he doesn’t want his heart to be broken again. He refuses to conclude that it’s because he’s a fucking coward.

“I don’t know what’s been on your mind, idiot,” Kasamatsu says. “But you better solve this yourself quickly if you’re not opening up to me about this. We can’t have your performance quality be dropping even in practice. Hurry up and fix this shit with (l/n)-san already.”

“H-How’d you know?!” Kise raises his head from his desk in astonishment.

“Tch, idiot,” he glowers, chopping Kise’s head with a swift hand. “It’s too obvious from the way you’re moping around… from the way you two stuck together all this time, who wouldn’t notice something happened from the way you’re at your desk watching (l/n)-san like that?”

“O-Ow…” Kise grumbles rubbing his head. Ironically, his captain’s hit cleared up his doubts and he took a deep breath before exhaling. “Got it, senpai.”

“You better.” Kasamatsu goes back to talking to his classmates during break, and even despite not knowing the truth of the relationship, he manages to give solid advice as usual.

Tomorrow. He’ll find you tomorrow.

———

He doesn’t know where else to find you alone other than the place he’s always waited for you before you two used to walk to school together. So he stands there, almost an hour earlier in case you had the idea to walk to school extremely early to avoid him at all costs.

He was right.

Here you are, shuffling your feet as you trudged yourself along the path and looking down at your feet. You even manage to walk past by him without noticing his presence.

Even if you’ve grown to hate him, he’s willed himself to come completely clean about his feelings to you for once. But a part of him is thinking to change his mind again and just let you slip away from his fingers. It’d spare the both of you the inevitable, right?

“R-Ryōta…?”

He was pulled from his thoughts, startled to see you staring at him from a short distance away. Apparently you did notice him after all.

“… (y/n)-cchi…” He swallows his words, knowing full well that his stupid words might blow this up for him again, his words responsible for all the rumors at school, his words responsible for hurting you and will hurt you again.

He wordlessly walks up to you and holds your cheek, and waits. He waits for you to push him away again. He waits for you to say the code word to let him know that you don’t want him near you again. The thought of you running away from him nearly brings him to tears, but he gulps his emotions down and stares at you calmly, with only his upturned brows hinting to his inner turmoil.

“Ryō—”

He swiftly brings his head down and kisses you. In feeling the warmth for the first time in a while, he greedily drinks from your lips, holding your temples more firmly as he searches for more, more, more.

You push him away.

Kise immediately lets go and stares at you like a lost child, unable to mask the devastation from the implications of your actions. But you’re still gripping his uniform tightly, almost as if you didn’t want to let go.

“W-Why…?” you croak, biting your lips to stop any tears from breaking through. “There’s no reason to kiss me. Don’t you know that we’re done? There’s no one to watch us here, no reason for you to walk me to school anymore. You know that, Ryōta. After all, we haven’t talked since a week ago, and you have the audacity to come here and kiss me like everything is okay—”

“… I want to kiss you, because there’s no one around, because there’s no other reason for me to.”

“Why…?” your voice softens to a whisper. “Don’t you hate anyone who likes you in that way? I… I already told you that I see you in that light, like many of your fans do. Don’t you hate me? Don’t you hate me for using this arrangement to get closer to you? Don’t you hate me for expecting something real out of this?”

“I already had an inkling of suspicion that you liked me, (y/n)-cchi,” Kise turns away to look at the bright morning sky. “I just didn’t know if I was wrong or not.”

“Then… why did you ask me to do this whole thing with you…?”

“Because I’m a coward,” he says, looking back to you. You were stunned into silence. For the first time, he finally admits what’s been weighing on his mind for weeks out loud, and his eyes, while drenched in shame, were full of resoluteness. “I liked you, but I was too afraid for the day when you ended up being not like the person I ended up liking. I liked you, but I was afraid of a real relationship that would tie me down. I liked you, but I was afraid of making huge decisions that involved another person into my life. I didn’t want to end the fake relationship because I was too fucking selfish… if I ended it, I’d lose the only connection I had with you… I’m sorry.”

Both of you went silent, bathed in the light of the rising sun. Kise drops to a squat to hide his face from you, and you knew he was trying to stop himself from tearing up. He knows how uncool he looks, but he had no right to cry when you were the one who got hurt the most.

“Ryōta, did you really find it difficult to kiss me…? Just… be honest.”

“Yes,” he looks up from his squat to stare at you with an intense look, even despite his puffy eyes. “Everytime I kissed you, I found it hard to control myself. I thought, what if you were using me to somehow get a kiss from me? or what if I couldn’t stop myself from kissing you and I ended up taking things too far? Looking anywhere but you at least stopped me from getting too invested…”

By now, both of you had turned completely red at his honesty, but he still found you frankly stunning even with your red, puffy eyes. “Look, (y/n)-cchi, don’t you hate me? I used you. The rumors are right—I’m a complete asshole. Just… I won’t blame you if you walk away right now.”

“You do know that I used this opportunity to get closer to you, right?… I wasn’t a saint about this either, so… I’m sorry too.” Both of you go silent again, and you slowly drop yourself to his level in a squat of your own in front of him.

“… C-Can we… can we start over?” you whisper, your warm breath tickling his chilled nose.

“(y/n)-cchi, I don’t think I’m capable of continuing this arrangement…”

“No,” you huff, before you tentatively press a chaste kiss to his lips. “I mean… can we… start over, but this time, as a real couple? I… want this relationship to be substantial. I really do like you, Ryōta.” You murmur against his lips with your hands on top of your knees, waiting for him to rebuke you away with an easygoing comment or a plastered smile.

But he doesn’t do any of that.

“I… guess we can try that,” Kise mumbles, gaze averted as his cheeks flame brighter than his nose and ears.

“Can you kiss me again?” you ask, your voice cracking at the end out of fear he’d turn down your request. Kise flicks his gaze back to you to see you equally red with a hesitant expression.

“Could you… close your eyes?” he asks with a frown.

“H-Huh?”

“Y-You don’t need to see me looking like a mess, I don’t look charming right now.”

“I… guess…” After a few moments of hesitation, you flutter your eyes shut, waiting apprehensively for his lips to descend onto yours again. Kise holds your cheeks and takes the time to admire your features for the first time, and his smile grows wider with every passing second.

‘R-Ryōta…?” Afraid of the fact that he actually may not like kissing you after all, you worriedly open your eyes, only to be greeted by the most brilliant smile from Kise, his figure illuminated by the sunshine hitting the back of his head at the perfect angle.

“(y/n)-cchi,” he teases with a small pout. “Didn’t I tell you to close your eyes?”

Who needs a rose-tinted lens when the sight before you is already so radiant to behold?