#at first they walk on eggshells a bit but they go back to pre fire almost immediately bc they were so close nothing could truly break them

[sweet-marigold]

It’s missing blitzfizz hours….. I miss them so much 😭😭

Warning for long tags

[coyotescribbles]

The tail end of something original, for once lmao

IDK I got the idea from a dream I had this morning and this is what it inevitably spun out to. Figured I’d write out the ending before I forgot (or gave up on writing) it lol

----------

With the cataclysm raining fire down around them, Ajax grabbed Andromeda's wrist and locked his finger joints to keep them from being separated as he pushed through the panicking crowd. She struggled to keep up with his pace, but soon enough they reached the gates of the spaceport.

He did not, however, head for the crowded shuttles; instead, he made a beeline for the departing automated supply transports.

"Ajax, wha- the evacs are over there!" Andromeda cried, her voice barely audible over the din and chaos. "What are you-"

"I know, I know - just... please trust me, okay?" He let go of her wrist and bolted up a retreating ramp, slapping the controls and overriding them with several hasty commands. "Come on, get in! Hurry!"

She hesitated, but only for a moment before a booming explosion nearby sent her bolting up the ramp - while he pulled up command screen after command screen to change the transport's pre-programmed course and ensure that it didn't vent atmosphere when it left the surface. And when he was finished...

"Stay on this transport, it'll take you somewhere safe, I promise. And when you get there..." He pulled a folded-up envelope from a compartment in his forearm and pressed it into her hand. "When you get there, go straight here. Everything’s going to be okay, I promise."

"Ajax, what - I don't understand, where am I going?"

"I - I was planning to surprise you with it at your gallery showing, but," he shrugged and gestured helplessly at what was happening outside. "It - it's a studio. Actually, it's a a bit more than that, but I picked it out for the space where you could work. I thought - I thought it would make you happy, but 'safe' is probably better right now."

Tears shimmered in the corners of her dark eyes, threatening to overflow; he just reached up to cup her face in his hand, stroking his thumb across her cheek.

"Don't worry about me, okay? I'll know exactly where you are, and I'll come to you as soon as I can. No matter how long it takes, I will come find you."

"What about-"

"Agamemnon? Don't worry about him, either." There was a cold edge to his voice at that, and his ears flattened back for a moment. "Just focus on yourself for now. Everything's going to be all right."

There was a brief pause, and he had just started to turn to leave when Andromeda threw her arms around him, hugging him tightly and pressing her face to his chestplate.

She was shaking.

Slowly, cautiously, he returned her embrace, taking a moment to bury his face in her hair - and surprising himself with the overwhelming strength of his own feelings. He would move the heavens themselves to ensure her safety if he had to; what he'd decided to do to keep her safe wasn't even a drop in the bucket compared to that.

Outside, the growing disaster made the ground beneath the transport tremble; Ajax gave Andromeda one more gentle squeeze before reluctantly letting go. For one long, last moment, they locked eyes and he desperately wanted to confess his feelings, but he feared that doing so would only invite more disaster; she seemed to feel the same, if the conflicted expression she wore was any indication. Instead of words, she reached back to tug the red ribbon from her hair, and rushed to wrap it around his left hand and wrist.

"Stay safe," She whispered, almost pleadingly.

"I will. I'll see you soon."

Then, he reluctantly turned to leave, hitting the controls once more in his way out to close the ramp.

And he waited - waited for the ramp to close, for the transport's engines to roar to life... for it to ascend into the sky with the rest of the fleeing vessels, until it was nothing but a tiny black pinprick against the wild red sky.

Then, and only then, did he turn to leave the port, and reenter the city proper.

---

Search And Rescue units had not reached that particular borough yet, and likely wouldn't start trickling in for at least an hour; the majority of them were currently dedicated to the business districts and to rescuing survivors trapped there. He had time.

The house - like most of the houses around it for blocks in every direction - was a total ruin. The walls, roof, and floors were three-quarters of the way collapsed and still shifting with every tremor, creating a hazardous situation.

Ajax made his way through the wreckage, regardless, prowling like a creature on the hunt.

In a way, he was.

And soon enough, he found what - or, rather, who - he was after, pinned under the remains of a shattered wall. Dark red blood pooled around the man, who was barely conscious, thought still feebly trying to dig his way free with his one good arm. The sound of Ajax's soles on the cracked marble floor caught his attention, and he turned his head to squint weakly at the approaching cyborg.

"Oh, thank god... I thought help was... never going to get here..." Agamemnon rasped out. "Could you please... get this wall off of me..."

Ajax stopped short, scowling down at him. The relieved expression on the man's face faltered, then faded as soon as he spotted the red ribbon wound around his hand.

"I know what you did, Agamemnon," Ajax said flatly, "all of it. Every last twisted little thing. Did you really think you'd be able to keep it under wraps forever?"

Confusion set in, then gave way to recognition and, finally, Agamemnon showed fear.

Ajax stepped forward, planted his boot squarely on the man's throat, and began to press down, ignoring his scrabbling attempts to push him away.

"Oh. Don't you worry about Andromeda. She's safe," Ajax's voice dripped with mock-pleasantry and although he couldn't smile, his eyes widened in triumph, "and she'll never need to fear the likes of you ever again. She'll have her gallery, and friends that she selects, and a home of her own. If she wants one, she'll even have a family, and it will be her choice, not yours. Never. Yours."

With every word, he bore down with more and more of his weight, watching Agamemnon's face turn red and purple as he choked and gasped for air. Saliva frothed at the corners of his mouth, and he clawed at Ajax's leg, leaving bloody streaks on the armor.

"She will be happy. And you? You will be an unpleasant memory that fades away until you. Are. Nothing."

There was a crunch underfoot, and Agamemnon's struggles ceased. Ajax waited, just long enough to ensure that he was dead - then, stepping back, located and hefted a sufficiently heavy chunk of debris, and dropped it on the dead man's head, obliterating all trace of what he'd just done.

Afterwards, he rinsed away the blood in a broken water main, and busied himself with being among the first to look for survivors in the residential districts.

After all, that was his job.

---

Days stretched out into weeks. One month passed, and became two, then two became three. Slowly, the great city stabilized, even as his patience wore thin.

But at long last, Ajax finally found himself disembarking a shuttle on a verdant little world three days' travel from his home. The sun was brilliant and summer-warm, trees reached green branches to the sky along broad, winding streets, birds were singing... and he paid little attention to any of it. He had one goal on his mind and one goal only, and it was on the far side of one of those broad streets, across from the green field he'd landed in.

A little brick house with a blue slate roof, shaded from the sun by stout trees and surrounded by a wrought-iron fence and low but thick hedges. His vents and coolant pump were working overtime as he stepped through the front gate, and he had to restrain himself from bolting to the door.

Not that he had to worry, because before he'd made it halfway there, said door was flung open and Andromeda was all but flinging herself into his arms. For just a moment, he let himself feel shocked - before wrapping his arms tightly around her in return. And for a long moment, they just stayed like that, holding on to each other and not caring who might see; they didn't have to walk on eggshells here.

She would never have to, ever again.

"I was starting to think I'd never see you again," she eventually choked out, and Ajax winced at the sound of tears in her voice. Lifting one hand, he ran his fingers through her hair - it was cut in a short bob again, the way it had been when they'd first met - and he smiled.

"Hey, I promised, didn't I?" He laughed once, softly; "I always keep my promises."

"You did," she managed a laugh, too; "you do."

He gave her a soft squeeze as she pressed her cheek to his chest.

"You're buzzing," she whispered, almost laughing again as she reached up to wipe away tears.

"Well, I've had a lot of time to get wound up, waiting to see if you were all right. Couldn't pull strings fast enough to get here."

Andromeda just laughed softly, and for another stretch of time was content to just hold on to and be held by him.

Eventually, though, the unspoken question that hung over everything finally came up.

"And Agamemnon...?"

"He didn't make it," Ajax answered quietly.

Andromeda inhaled sharply, and held that breath for a beat... before letting it out again in a ragged sob. Her knees buckled, and he slowly sank to the ground with her, stroking her hair as she sobbed in broken relief against his chest.

And when one of the neighbors hesitantly inquired as to what was wrong, a quiet, simple "her brother was killed" sent the woman on her way with a sympathetic wince and an understanding nod.

No one had to know, after all, that the tears being shed were not tears of grief.

[coldpanda76]

BTS REACTIONS:

Finding you cooking

Seokjin:

It was just after 7:00pm when Jin finally stepped in. He was too tired from the workday to notice you hadn't ran to meet him. It had been an all choreography day which resulted in sore muscles and a but of a temper.

All day little remarks the other members made (with no hurtful intentions) about his dancing had slowly crept under his skin, especially when Namjoon made an offhand comment about how he was too slow. Namjoon wasn't a brilliant dancer himself but even he noticed Jin's mistakes. On top of all this, Jin was hungry and that made everything ten times worse!

Maybe that's why the first thing he noticed, after stepping into the apartment, was the smell of spring onions frying in a pan and the sound of rhythmic chopping. All the signs that pointed to food. And Jin loves food. Disregarding his shoes at the front door, he makes his way to the kitchen.

The first thing he sees is you, prancing about in your pj's humming along to the tune in your head, your back turned to him. The second was the sizzling food in the pan and the rice cooker steamed up.

He leant against the wall committed to just observing you as you cut the carrots in front of you. He loves watching you cook, even if some of your methods annoy him a little, like how you cut onions, ever since discovering it annoyed him, you both bought spring onions from then on.

He steps into the kitchen, careful to not make any sound as he walks up behind you. Slowly, he leans his head down to hover just above your shoulder.

"Need some help?"

Yoongi:

Yoongi dragged himself out of bed, grumbling like an old man.

You had walked in 15 minutes ago with the announcement that you were making breakfast.

You'd assumed that it would take at least half an hour to drag his butt out of bed and downstairs, based purely of experience, however the smell of pancakes had made its way to his nose and he willed himself enough energy to put his feet on the floor.

He walked as quietly as a cat, his duvet trailing behind him (he just had to take a piece of bed with him okay?).

He turned the corner to see something that brought a sleepy smile to his face.

You were poking the edge of the pancake with a spatula, frowning in concentration. Flour covered your front and a bit of batter had splashed onto your cheek.

Seeing you like that was a rarity. You had to leave early for work and he came home late most nights. But in that moment, Yoongi felt he had a normal life with someone he adored and that made him smile.

"You're unusually ungrumpy this morning" you say, snapping him out of his daze.

He smirks, "I'm just enjoying the view."

Hoseok:

Being away for so long definetly had a lot more cons than pros. But this was most definetly a pro. Hobi just sat and gazed as you twirled around the kitchen, making him smile as he watched from his spot on the couch.

You were being so dramatic he couldn't help but laugh at the way you brandished the spoon, flicking sauce all over the counter or the way you fake gasped when the spices hit the hot pan and made a loud sizzle.

You were definetly putting on a show, drawing out as many of those heart shaped smiles you could and no need to say it was working perfectly.

"We've got five minutes left in the clock" you announce, using a crude master chief impression, looking over your shoulder at the laughing man.

"Will contestant Y/n make it in time? Or will the food be under cooked?" Hoseok replies, finding it very difficult to not laugh more.

"Under cooked? We can't have that!" You yell, maybe a bit too loud, fake shock and sarcasm lacing your voice.

Hoseok laughs again, standing up from his spot and walking over to you and wrapping his arms around your waist.

"Foul play!" you laugh, wiggling around, trying to free yourself of his grip.

"Yes utter foul play." he returns, a big smile on his face as you give up on getting away. You return the gesture.

Namjoon:

"I really did try! I don't even know what I did wrong!" He pleaded the moment you walk through the door. It smells of burnt meat and smoke. The fire alarm is going insane.

You run into the kitchen to see what looks like a bomb explosion and in the midst of all of it sat a black lump of something that was still smocking. Using the counter to push you up, you turn the alarm off, repressing a sigh because of all the smoke.

You turn to look at the man still standing by the door, head hung in shame. A wave of sympathy washes over you and you have to stop yourself from sighing for a second time. You walk to towards him and rub his back soothingly, waiting for him to look you in the eye. He takes a deep breathe (coughs very loudly at the horrible smell) and looks at you.

"I followed all of Jin's instructions and I followed the recipe to the bone, literally" Joon murmurs softly, "I'm sorry..."

"why don't you clean up while I cook dinner, hmm?"

He nods at the suggestion. Immediately making his way into the kitchen. You set about making an omelette of sorts, seeing as Namjoon had used the chicken you had planned to heat up for dinner. You realise he's watching you after a few minutes into making your omelette. You turn to look at him and he looks away, his face flushed.

"You don't have to feel bad Joonie" you say kindly.

"That's the problem, I don't. Because now I get to watch you do something you barley ever do"

You frown, "what's that"

"Cook and not get a pre-made meal to heat up. We both know you're almost as bad as me" he smiles.

"Yeah, but I don't turn a chicken into a lump of ash"

Jimin:

He barley ever got sick, mostly because the staff were so adiment on keeping him healthy but for the first time in a few years he got a proper cold. He couldn't sing because his throat was sore and croaky and he couldn't dance because his body was so weak and tired.

Namjoon and Hoseok fought for off time, not only for Jimin but for everyone and BigHit only decided to give it to them when Jin walked into the room with his defying nature.

Jimin was now instructed to stay at home (away from the other boys to prevent more sick members) and to rest. You would be lying if you said you weren't happy he was home. For once you got to be the one to take care of him and not the other way round.

It was early evening when Jimin woke up, his eyes sore and not being able to breathe properly. He wiggled out of bed and ended up on his behind on the floor.

He struggled his way across the room and out into the hallway.

"Jiminie? What are you doing up? You should go back to bed"

He looks at the apron you're wearing and the pot you're stirring.

"You're... Cooking?" he questions stupidly, still delirious from sleep.

"Taehyung said when you guys got sick Jin made you chicken soup... So I um... Asked for the recipe."

He looks at you weirdly and you start to worry, "I mean, if you don't want it's fine! It's probably no where near as good as Jins' soup, but I just thought I'd try it because I want you to feel better!"

You rant, panic rising in you at the blank expression he gives you.

"If I wasn't afraid of giving you this dreadful cold, I would kiss you right now"

Taehyung:

"I'm home!" Taehyung announces as soon as he unlocks the door. Yeontan scampers towards him, ball long forgotten at the sight of Tae.

"Hello!" He says in a baby voice to the little dog kneeling to greet him.

"Y/n?" He calls out still allowing Tan to lick his hands.

"In the kitchen!" you call back, "my hands are a bit full!"

He chuckles, scooping the ball of fur up in his arms and dancing into the kitchen.

He sees you holding a very big pot over the sink, attempting to drain the water without making any contact with the gaint, steaming pot aside from the kitchen towels on either side.

You were, by no means, a good cook. You were immensely jealous of Jungkook and Jin who could be given 3 ingredients and make something eidable if not amazing, but you got by and some of your food was pretty okay but your technique sucked.

"Help me please" You look over at him helplessly, grasping the pot a bit tighter.

A wide boxy grin stretches across his face, "why? You're doing great"

"Taehyung" You snarl, feeling the pot wobble a bit.

"Yes?"

His grin spreads wider, his eyes crinkling at the corners.

"If you don't help me I will drop this pot and you'll go hungry"

Jungkook:

"Jagi!" He groans, wrapping his arms around your waist and resting his chin on your shoulder. You force yourself to concentrate on the measurements you're doing and not on the boy behind you.

"No Jungkook, I can't watch the latest marvel movie, I have to make this cake, I promised Yoongi."

"But y/n, you can do that when we get back." he says, putting on aegyo to be more convincing.

"No I can't because I'm with the girls tonight" You say stubbornly, trying to reason with yourself instead of giving in.

"But I never get a full day off, I want to spend time with you" he simpered, hoping to get you with this one.

"We spent all morning in bed together, I'm pretty sure that counts as time" you point out.

He huffs, "can I help you then?"

You feel your stomach burst into happy butterflies, truthfully you wanted him to say that.

"Okay Kookie, you can help."

For a while all was peacefully, you dictating what he should do and him following orders with a joke or two.

"can you pass me an egg" you say, focusing carefully on the buttermilk. That is until you hear a soft crack and something slimy and wet land in you hair. You gasp at the cold and lean your head forward so it splats onto the counter.

You turn slowly to look at Jungkook who's backing away with a big bunny smile, an eggshell in one of his first.

You lower you hand into the flour container, grasping a large amount.

Jungkook takes this as a sign to run.

"JEON JUNGGUK YOU'RE A DEAD MAN!"

[charlie-jennings]

Charlie and Ally Hide from the Parade

Charlie and Ally avoid the actual parade, but deal with the fallout all the same.

@allyxroman

{PRE-PARADE DISASTER} Ally was worried about today. A parade in theory was a good thing, it could mean inclusion, maybe things taking a turn for the better. But.....she wasn't naive enough to believe that. New Eden was a lot of things, but being Pro-Switch wasn't one of them. So with the plan in place to spend the afternoon with Charlie watching movies and eating snacks, she headed out to the address he'd given her, hoping that today would be uneventful and her worries were for not. She was usually in her diner clothes when he saw her, and last Friday she'd at least tried to dress up a bit more with jeans and a nice top, but with a day ahead of her of being lazy, she decided on just a simple pair of black leggings and a t-shirt--not like she had to impress him or anything. They were just friends. Just friends. That's what she kept telling herself as she made her way to his building, a tote bag hanging on her shoulder with some movies and boxes of candy inside as she made her way inside and to his floor, letting out a breath as she knocked on his door.

(Charlie)

Since waking up that morning, Charlie had felt a sense of unease. He couldn't quite explain it - there was really no proof that anything was going to go wrong or be bad, he just had over thirty years of experience of being hated. A Pro-Switch rally would never work in a city as prejudiced as New Eden. Something bad was bound to happen. Not that he could convince any of his roommates of that. Or any of his friends. All of them still held onto hope and optimism that maybe things wouldn't be so bad this time. Charlie only felt a little bit of relief when a soft knock sounded at his door. He was glad that Ally would be here today, both because he enjoyed her company and because she wouldn't be anywhere near the parade itself. He smiled at her as he opened the door, relieved to see she'd dressed casual too. He'd thrown on a older, worn-in t-shirt and basketball shorts just long enough to cover his scarred knee. "Hey," he greeted, opening the door wider for her come in. "Looks like it's just us today - all my other roommates are gone." Charlie shut the door behind her and motioned to the small living room, equipped with a couch and a TV and some of his roommates' more flamboyant posters. Luckily, they'd all left early enough for him to clean everything up - it wasn't to his standards, but at least the floors were vacuumed and the counters wiped down. "Feel free to make yourself at home... kitchen's over there, bathroom's just down the hall, and my room's at the end down there." Charlie flushed slightly, realizing she really didn't have a reason to need his room.

Ally

Ally didn't feel her anxieties lessen until he opened the door and she saw his face. The reaction was almost immediate as she felt her shoulders slacken, her whole body practically letting out a sigh, sagging in relief. "Hi." she breathed out, looking him over. He looked more relaxed here, in his space. She liked the look on him--so much so she hoped he hadn't realized she was just staring for a few seconds before she snapped out of it, moving inside once he'd opened the door. She nodded as he spoke of his roommates, glancing around all the while. His place was much bigger than hers, cleaner. Felt more like a home, more lived-in. She almost immediately felt comfortable. As he started pointing out places she followed along with her eyes, a little quirk of her lips as he included where his room was but she didn't make a comment on it, just nodding along. "Okay." She walked in more, taking the bag off her shoulder to put it down on the table nearby before she glanced to the door, making sure it was locked. "It....I don't know. It felt different outside. Like there's tension in the air of the whole city.." she explained, turning to look up at him. "There were police pretty much every corner. I felt like I was being watched as I walked out of my building...." she bit her lip, sighing. "All your roommates went? To the parade?"(edited)

Charlie

Charlie nodded - he hadn't been outside yet, but he could still feel something in the air. "I know what you mean. I hope I'm overreacting and just being ridiculous, but..." he trailed off. But. "Yeah, far as I know, they're all down there." He knew Vienna was back in town but wasn't sure if she'd actually headed down there or not. If he had to guess, she was somewhere in the thick of things. He tried not to think about that. "I, uh, I'm glad you got here alright. I considered actually meeting you at your place or somewhere halfway to walk you here. I think I'm goin' crazy. Everyone else seems to think I'm crazy or just overreactin'." It was a relief to hear Ally wasn't one of those people. Charlie sighed. "Anyway - I, uh, picked up some popcorn and candy for us. And a couple of frozen pizzas..." He looked a little sheepish - honestly, he wished he could've provided a little bit better of a meal, but there wasn't much that could feed two people in his budget. "I know we just had it, but I wasn't sure what else to get."

Ally

"I..don't think you're overreacting. Some people I've been talking to all week were talking about going in groups- safety in numbers and all, but..I dunno. Nothing about any of this sounds safe.." Maybe it wasn't the best thing to say considering his roommates were all out there, but it was the truth. She gave him a little smile as he said he wanted to meet halfway and she shook her head, "It's alright. It's early in the day and before things started, so I figured it'd be okay. I got here in one piece, and it's not too far from where I live at all, so we're good. And you're not going crazy. You're being cautious. That's a good thing, Charlie." She wanted to reach out and take his hand, her fingers had even twitched a bit, about to reach over, before she stopped herself, a little blush on her cheeks at the realization. "Hey, I love pizza, if it wasn't obvious with me eating half of one by myself." She tacked on with a laugh, "So it's very okay with me. We can put one in in a little bit? And I brought some movies too, and some more candy. So we're set. So how about you pick the first movie and I'll make the first bag of popcorn?"

Charlie

Ally wasn't wrong - nothing about this did feel safe, at least to him. At least one other person agreed with him. Charlie didn't realize how close her hand came to touching his, only noticed the blush that mysteriously bloomed across her face. His own cheeks were burning and he mentally cursed himself - he was a thirty plus year old man; his penchant to blush had gotten old very fast. He cleared his throat softly and nodded, grateful that she was alright with the pizza. "Good... next time we hang out, I promise something other than pizza. And not ramen." Charlie wasn't sure exactly how he'd make good on that promise, but he intended to try. "Alright - let me see what movies you got. I'll pick from those. Sound good?"

Ally

Ally noted the similar flush on Charlie's cheeks--noted that she'd seen it before and it made a little smile tug on her lips. She thought it was cute on him..maybe liked the thought that she'd caused it. She wasn't about to dare to say that out loud though. Instead she just focused as he spoke again, a real smile coming onto her face at the words. Next time. They'd barely been together ten minutes and already he was thinking of a next time. ..But that's what friends did right? Hang out. Plan ahead. All just friendly business. She needed to get a grip. "Alright, yeah. The candy in there too is for both of us, so just take whatever you'd like and give me like..five minutes." She announced, toeing off her shoes by the door and taking one of the popcorn bags, heading off to where he'd pointed the kitchen out to be. It felt a bit strange, walking around his domain like this- but strange in a good way. She didn't feel uncomfortable here, or like she was walking on eggshells. The fridge was probably stocked, the cabinets full of various mugs and plates and things. Much more of a home than her own place was. She allowed herself to take it all in once the bag was in the microwave, looking at all the little knickknacks and things around the room before the popcorn finished and she pulled it out, walking the path back to where the living room was and giving Charlie a smile as she saw him, padding over to him. "Did you pick?"

Charlie

Charlie watched as she headed toward the kitchen, little smile on his face. Ally seemed at ease, comfortable, not at all like the uncertain girl he'd first met for lunch and taken up to his favorite fire escape. And why shouldn't she feel comfortable? They were just friends, even if the phrase seemed to make his gut wrench. By the time she came back, he'd already plucked out the original Halloween and put it in the DVD player. "You got good taste in movies," Charlie complimented as she returned. He scooted over on the couch so she'd have plenty of room and let her get comfortable. "Not sure if it's a good idea or not, but I picked Halloween. We can definitely watch something a lot lighter after if you feel up to it..."

Ally

Ally smiled at the compliment, nodding her appreciation towards him as she went to the couch and sat beside him, her legs curling up under herself as she comfortable. "Charlie." She started, already starting to eat some before offering him the bag. "I packed it because I like it." And because he said he liked it too. "So it's okay with me, promise. Unless I mean..if you want to watch something lighter after..." she asked with a grin, nudging at him a bit. "I have a musical or two. Some Disney movies. I bet you're a Hercules fan.."

Charlie

Charlie couldn't help but groan a little bit, chuckling at her suggestion. "Is it - is it weird that I ain't really seen Disney movies?" he asked, turning to look at her. "We didn't really watch TV and movies growing up. And by the time I was old enough to go do whatever on my own, I figured out I liked cheesy ass horror movies. Action, some comedies... but yeah, Hercules? Got no clue about it."

Ally

Ally paused at that, looking over at him, "Wait--really?" she tilted her head a bit at him. At least growing up she'd seen mostly all of them and was even allowed a tv in her bedroom (her parents' attempts to give her something to 'occupy' her with to try and sway her away from painting their walls). "I mean, there's nothing wrong with cheesy horror movies--hence why I even brought some of those comedy horror ones, but..you need to see some Disney. I loved them as a kid. And, well..for the first entire year of my boarding school? I kept to myself so I watched them a lot. They made me feel better. Feel...normal, I guess."

Charlie

Charlie shrugged. "Yeah, really. I mean, my momma took me to see the Lion King when I was a kid, but that's about the extent of it for me." There wasn't the extra money for movie theaters and VHS players. "I mean, I'll try 'em out." Even if he was a grown ass man, if it made Ally happy.... She was his friend after all. Just his friend. They were just friends. "I'm glad you had 'em with you then and they helped. Horror movies always did that for me, especially once I got out." Charlie knew it was messed up that after all the blood and gore he'd seen while serving in the military, horror movies still offered him the most comfort. It was like they made it easy to pretend the things he'd seen were as fake as what was on the screen. "You got Hercules with you?"

Ally

"That was one of my favorites." Little fourteen year old Ally figured if Simba could survive all on his own out in the real world, maybe she could too. "Yeah?" She grinned, nodding. "Okay yeah. I won't make you watch all of them. And in return I'll watch whatever scary movies you want." She figured it'd be a good compromise. Besides, there really wasn't anything much scarier than reality, so bring it on. She passed the popcorn between them as he spoke and she looked over at him, humming softly. It actually made sense, that horror movies helped once he was out of war. This time she didn't resist as she reached over, laying her hand on his arm for a moment. "I'm glad you had something too. I...I can't imagine.." she trailed off, shaking her head. She didn't want either of them to think about what he'd been through, what he'd seen and experienced in all his years in the military. Instead she squeezed his arm gently before passing the bag back to him. "I do, yeah. I brought that one, Lion King, and Aladdin--that one's actually my favorite."

Charlie

Charlie turned to look at her when he felt her soft, warm hand fall on his arm. Her touch was soft and warm and electric all at once. "Ain't got to imagine, darlin'. It's alright now." It wasn't alright and it would never be alright, but he didn't want Ally to worry and wonder and get herself lost in it. "How's this then, we'll finish this movie up and do Aladdin," he offered, shooting her a small smile. "That way we both get to see what we like. Maybe you can convert me on these Disney movies."

Ally

There it was again, just like the other night. Darlin'. She'd never been called anything like that before. Never knew what it was like for someone to call her a petname or anything of the sort. It was nice--especially coming from him. It was probably just more of his southern gentlemanly ways coming through though, nothing to get all...fluttery over. "If you say so." Ally murmured in response. She didn't think it was all that true--something like that? She didn't think it'd ever truly be okay, but she wasn't going to push it. Instead at the movie offer she smiled, nodding at him, "Okay deal. Then after we can get one of those pizzas going, maybe watch a comedy or something." By then the parade would probably be in full swing- so a comedy would be something very useful in trying to not think about reality just outside the windows.

Charlie

Charlie nodded and settled back onto the couch, propping up his long legs on the coffee table. It was actually fairly quiet; he was used to the outside noise and maybe one of his neighbors screaming or fucking in the background. He supposed everyone really had gone to that stupid fucking parade. "I'm good with that," he replied. He reached over for the bowl of popcorn, feeling a new blush creep up his face when his hand brushed against hers. Christ, what was he, 12? Charlie stole a quick glance at her before bringing up his handful of popcorn. How was he supposed to concentrate on the movie?

Ally

Ally glanced over as he propped his legs up, noting that the shorts rode up just enough that she could see the beginnings of the scarring of his knee. She wanted to see the rest, wanted to know more about his past. But she wasn't about to ask. Again, it wasn't her business--if he ever wanted her to know, he'd tell her. At least, that's what she told herself. She tried to focus on the movie, her own flush coloring her face as their hands brushed together and she had to let out a breath, mentally shaking her head at herself. She'd never been this person- some shy, flustered girl around a boy--a man, nearly ten years older--. He was just her friend and she needed to relax. Eventually she managed to, watching the rest of the movie. It was more towards the end that she got sucked into it, so much so that the music and the suspense made her tense up, jumping at one point and she huffed out a laugh, groaning as she dropped her forehead against his shoulder for a second, "Yeah, we're definitely watching Disney after this..."

Charlie

Charlie settled into watching the movie, only occasionally glancing over to Ally to make sure she was alright with the movie. He was a little surprised when she jumped toward the end and leaned into him. Charlie couldn’t help but laugh. “You alright?” He asked, looking down at her with a grin on his face. “We’ll make sure to get you some Disney after this for sure. You’ve been a trooper.”

Ally

“Yeah, yeah, just...got too sucked in I guess.” She mumbled, her face flushed as she finally pulled her head up to look at him. Their faces were close and his body was warm and solid against hers—at least she had a good excuse for the flush on her face this time, and the awkwardness as she pulled away. She couldn’t really focus too much at the end of the movie, too hyper-aware of Charlie beside her until the credits finally rolled. “I’d say I’ll go start the pizza, but I don’t know how the oven works and I don’t wanna burn your place down.” She teased lightly. “Wanna do tjat while I get the next movie ready?”

Charlie

Charlie gently nudged her with his elbow, giving her a playful smile. “Alright, I’ll go put it in for us,” he said, groaning softly as he got up from the couch. Slowly, he made his way to the kitchen and busied himself putting it in. As it preheated, he came back in and plopped back down on the couch. Charlie pulled out his phone and looked at the time. “Well, parade oughta be starting soon...”

Ally

Ally gave him a grin as he agreed, nodding and watching him go, once again alone in his space. She looked around again, a little smile on her lips at how...homey it all was. She didn’t have a tv in her apartment, barely had a couch. Her space was as isolated as the rest of her life. But this, this was much nicer. When he came back she snapped out of her thoughts, her smile dimming “Yeah...probably.” She agreed, looking to the window before back to him, letting out a breath. “Thank you again, for inviting me over. I.....I don’t know how today is gonna play out.  But I’m glad I’m not alone.” She murmured, looking to him as he sat beside her again. “I..I feel safe. With you.”

Charlie

“You’re welcome. It’s nice to have someone over to hang out with.” Vienna was one of his closest friends, but they had a different dynamic. He doubted that she’d ever sit on the couch and hang out the way Ally had. “You can always feel safe here, Ally... I wouldn’t ever let no one hurt you when you’re around me.” Charlie meant that sincerely - so long as she was around, she’d be safe. “Anytime you need or want to come over, you can.”

Ally

Ally huffed out an amused little breath, humming a bit, “You have no idea.” She honestly couldn’t remember the last time she just..hung out. Probably when she was still in school. As he spoke again she smiled, something warm settling in her. She’s never had that either—someone to protect her, who cared about her wellbeing and wanted her safe. It left something akin to butterflies in her belly. But they were just friends, she had no reason to be feeling things like that. “I’ll keep that in mind. And well, my place is tiny...and I don’t really have a tv, but you’d be welcome there too. For the record.” She met his eyes for a moment more before letting out a breath and nodding to the tv, “You um..ready? For Aladdin?”

Charlie

Charlie nodded. "Ain't nothing wrong with tiny," he replied, giving her a small smile. "Honestly, I lived in a place like that for a couple months when I first came here, trying to get my footing." It was a trade off - either have a very cramped apartment with virtually nothing in it or have roommates which you may or may not get along with. He'd gotten lucky with his own. "Yeah, Aladdin sounds good to me. I got to get up in a couple minutes to put the pizza in, but go ahead and start it." Charlie sat through the first couple of minutes, only getting up again when he heard the ding in the kitchen, signalling the preheating was done. "I'll be right back..."

Ally

Ally shrugged, "I've been there almost a year. And honestly? I don't think I could ever afford much else. I'm barely scraping by as-is. If it weren't for the diner and the free food I got a few times a week...?" she trailed off, pursing her lips a bit. She didn't want to think about living in a shelter, or being homeless. She was grateful she at least had a roof over her head, a bed to sleep in. It was more than some others got. She hit play with a smile, laughing as she shook her head and tugged him back down, "No, you watch! Don't make me quiz you at the end." She told him with mock-seriousness, waving a finger at him as she stood. "I'll get the pizza, you enjoy a classic." with a smile she was off, taking care of putting the pizza in the oven and coming back a few minutes later with a box of m&m's. "I never got to ask you what your favorite candy is.. And do you prefer candy candy, or chocolatey ones?"

Charlie

"No, I understand... toward the end of my pay period, I pretty much live on those ninety-nine cent ramen packs and Vienna's goodwill." Though she didn't say anything, his roommate tended to notice when he began skipping meals to save money. He'd often find a banana or bread and jam left on his bed even if he swore she hadn't seen him skip. "It fucking sucks being broke..." Didn't they all know it. It wasn't like a switch could do much to improve the situation either. Charlie let out a playful sigh and nodded, settling back into his seat as Ally went to put the pizza in. He looked up at her question and shrugged. "I don't eat much candy, but when I do, it's usually chocolate."

Ally

"Same except instead of ramen it's those mac and cheese cups." She replied with a laugh, grinning at the thought that they just continued to have all these similarities- even ones as silly as their cheap food. "It does. But...still. There's people who're worse off. At least we have jobs, we have places to call home. Shit's bad but..it could be worse." Once she was back to the couch with her box of chocolates in hand she offered it over to him with a smile, nodding to her bag, "I have peanut m&m's in there too. And those ones that have caramel inside. Had I known you preferred chocolate I would've stayed more with that, but I also have skittles, gummy bears.." she blushed a bit, shrugging. "I wanted to make sure I'd have something you liked."

Charlie

"Yeah... that's what I try to tell myself. Plenty of homeless switches out there with no hope of really getting anything more." Charlie had seen it countless times, often on his commute when people would flock to the busses just to get out of bad weather or the cold. Resources for homeless were reserved for dominants and submissives first. "Shit, you ain't got to do all that," Charlie replied, shaking his head. "I appreciate it. But one thing you oughta know about me is that I'll eat anything. Literally." His lips curved into a little smile as he reached in to take a few M&Ms out of the box. "There wasn't such a thing as picky growing up. Whatever was cooked was what I ate and it only took a couple nights of goin' hungry to figure out I hated how that felt more than I hated how something tasted. When I got into the military? Only got that drilled into my head that much more. MREs and slop in the chow hall was always better than nothing."

Ally

"Exactly. And trust me. That whole...being homeless thing? Not fun." After school she had no where to go while in Washington. She tried busking painting in the park, tried applying to places, but no one wanted to hire a lowly switch. It was almost a month of moving around until she managed to find a roommate in a sub who was desperate enough even to take in a switch if it meant a little extra income. And for the few years Ally lived there, it worked. "Hey, it's not about being picky! Just because you're not picky doesn't mean you don't have preferences. Like the other day with the pizza? I said I don't like olives--doesn't mean I won't eat'em if it's all there is. So if there's choices, you should get what you like the most. And in this case, the choices are of the sugary variety." she smiled as she said it. "And hopefully the choices I brought are better than military food." she nodded to her bag for him to take whatever he wanted out of there. "For the record? I like peanut m&m's. And gummy bears."

Charlie

Charlie chuckled. "I guess I really ain't got preferences neither. I just eat whatever's in front of me." There had never been much room for him have a preference for food in life. "If you held a gun to my head I ain't sure I could tell you what I truly prefer. I'd just make a choice but I feel pretty much the same about it all... but I will say, yes - what you brought is better than any of the shit I ate in the military." He shot Ally a grin and nodded. "I'll remember that." For what, he wasn't sure - they were just hanging out, just friends. Maybe as a birthday gift or a snack for the next time they hung out he supposed. "There's some gummy bears I bought at the dollar store, but they're probably a little more hard then gummy."

Ally

"Ugh, fine." Ally rolled her eyes at him but had a smile on her face as she ate a few more candies, not wanting to fill up solely on junkfood when they had pizza coming to them shortly. "If you ever change in the future though and start having preferences? Let me know. Otherwise you'll totally be showing me up as the better friend in this pairing by remembering all of my favorites." Ally smiled as he spoke, taking her eyes off the screen to look at him, "I don't mind if they're a bit harder. I don't discriminate. All gummy candy is good candy in my eyes." She continued watching the movie then until the pizza was finished, not really realizing it as she started humming along to the music a bit, mumbling some of the lyrics under her breath unconsciously.

Charlie

"I doubt I could show you up at anything, for the record," Charlie commented, popping a couple of the candies into his mouth. The movie was fine - it wasn't really his thing but there was no way in hell he'd say that to Ally. She was relaxed and clearly enjoying it which meant more to him than anything. Charlie noticed the way she hummed and softly sang the lyrics as she got up to take the pizza out, making him suddenly more focused on her than the movie. It was cute and it was nice to see her enjoy herself. With a smile, he got up from the couch to join her in the small kitchen. "Sorry, didn't mean to miss the movie, just wanted to show you where the plates and stuff was..." Charlie accidentally brushed against her as he reached up to get a couple of plates down and opened up the drawer to pull out the pizza cutter for them.

Ally

Ally glanced over at him, a little smile on her face at the comment but she didn't say anything back, instead she just tried to stamp down those silly flutters inside herself again. She promised she'd be right back as she went back to the kitchen once the oven beeped, getting the pizza out to cool. Before she could even call out to him to ask where the plates and things were though he was there and she smiled, a little flush of pink coloring her cheeks as he easily reached over her to get out the plates. "I probably would've needed a step-stool to get them anyways." she quipped back lightly, a little smile on her lips. With his help she got everything cut up and just brought it all over to the couch where she curled up once again with the plate in her lap, her expression a bit bashful as she looked to the credits rolling. "Thanks for indulging me. You can pick the next movie. I just..always liked that one. I think it's the whole....even if you're poor and seen as worthless to the world..you can still find someone that could maybe one day love you. And it won't be for money or anything fancy. Just..for being yourself."

Charlie

Charlie grinned at her. "Well, you can always use my height," he teased gently. He ate his couple of slices of pizza quietly, amused by Ally's obvious joy in the movie. It wasn't that he found it childish - moreso that he was glad to know of a couple things that brought her joy. It was clear from the stories she shared that she had little to be happy about - hell, the two of them had that in common. Charlie could definitely understand her explanation in loving the movie. "No, I get it... I do." He'd had love like that once, or at least he thought he had. He'd never been naive enough to think that he and his ex could work once they were back stateside, but it didn't make being abandoned feel any better. "We can do something funny next, maybe, since we already had scary. Sound good to you?"

Ally

"Gee thanks." Ally teased, smirking at him in between bites. "Can't offer the same, sadly. Maybe like, an arm rest or something."  The more time she spent with him, the more relaxed she felt, at ease. It should've scared her, how easily she felt she could open up to him. Her walls were coming down at an alarming rate--but when he smiled at her, she found herself not quite scared of it. "Comedy is good." She agreed, finishing off another slice and getting more comfortable, practically sinking into the couch. Besides, a comedy would be a great way to get her mind off what could be happening in the city now that the parade was no doubt in full swing.

Charlie

Charlie got up and changed out the movies, picking and old Seth Rogen comedy for them to watch. He briefly glanced at his phone to check the time and see what was going on - it was well after two now. The parade was definitely in full swing. Nothing bad had happened so far. The knots that'd been in his stomach all morning were slowly easing up. He plopped back on the couch beside Ally and put his feet back up on the coffee table. Usually he was careful about keeping the scars on his knee covered, but this time he didn't even notice the shorts had ridden up. Charlie was more focused on the screen and trying to stay awake - now that he had his belly full and was comfortable, it was getting hard to keep his eyes open.

Ally

Ally finished with her food for now and leaned forward to put the plate on the table as Charlie sat back down beside her. As he did and he put his legs back up she noticed that he didn't tug the shorts further, uncovering more of his knee. She bit her lip as she stared for a moment, a little frown tugging on her lips. "You...you said it doesn't hurt you anymore, right? Just..uncomfortable sometimes?" She asked softly, unconsciously shuffling a bit closer to him, almost like trying to get a better look. "Either way, I'm...sorry you have to deal with it. I'm sorry you don't get more help for it when you deserve it.."

Charlie

Charlie looked over at her, noticing how far his shorts had ridden up for the first time. He hastily pulled the leg back down, covering up the scarring. "No... it don't hurt most of the time," he explained. "I get pins and needles in it, sometimes it goes numb. Sometimes it does hurt and feels like someone's set fire to it. There was a lot of nerve damage done to it," he explained. He shrugged. "I got it replaced and that's the best I could hope for. It's fine now." Clearly this was a sensitive subject. It wasn't fine. He wasn't fine. Charlie still suffered occasional nightmares and panic attacks and his knee did sometimes hurt. But what could he do? The physical therapy was the only thing he could afford and he barely afforded that.

Ally

Ally opened her mouth to speak but then stopped, frowning instead as she saw him hastily tugging his shorts back down. "Sorry--I'm sorry. I..- you don't have to talk about it. I didn't mean to stare.." she severely hoped her lapse in judgement wouldn't ruin the otherwise good time they'd been having and she let out a breath, biting her lip. "Just um....if you ever wanted to talk about it? Or...about anything. Or vent or..whatever? You can. With me. Just...yeah."  She sounded ridiculous, she should just stop. "Sorry."

Charlie

"No, you ain't got to be sorry. You didn't do nothin' wrong," Charlie replied, shaking his head. "I just - it's a sore subject." And it had wounded him far more deeply than just physically in the end. He couldn't run like he had once before, he was slower as a whole, and some nights the pain and the pins and needles feeling kept him up. "I'm sorry for being weird about it... it's just a - a thing I got," Charlie explained. "I'll talk about it one day... just - maybe not today?" Today was too good of a day to get bogged down with ghosts from his past.

Ally

Ally rolled her lips into her mouth, shaking her head, "No, it's fine. You have nothing to apologize for and...you don't ever have to tell me if you don't want, okay? I'm not entitled to your past or anything." and she wasn't. They were friends now sure, and he knew more about her past than anyone else ever has, but that still didn't mean he had to reciprocate. She shouldn't be nosy. She moved to grab her bag then, taking out the bag of gummy bears and giving him a little attempt at a smile, "Peace offering?"

Charlie

Charlie offered her a smile, hoping to show her that he wasn't mad or upset with her. "Ain't nothin' you need to make peace over. I promise." But he took a couple gummy bears from the bag all the same and popped them into his mouth. "And Ally? I promise I'll tell you one day..." Just not today. He supposed it wasn't entirely fair given that he did know so much about her past already, but there were some things that were too personal. Too close. Things he didn't like to think about with himself, let alone talk about with other people. Charlie was glad when they settled back into the movie, enjoying the peaceful, quiet companionship that they shared. He was starting to feel a bit drowsy again, a consequence of being full and comfortable and plain exhausted.

Ally

There he went being sweet again, and there went those damn butterflies again. She really needed to get ahold of herself. She tried to tell herself it's just because he was the first person to befriend her and show her kindness--of course she'd maybe develop some sort of crush because of that. It was just something silly and would go away with him. That's all. Right? "Whenever you want. There's no rush or..anything. And if you never do, that's okay too. It won't make me like you any less." She ate a few more gummy bears after that, settling in with him, thankful that the awkward tension she herself had created had dissipated. Instead she just focused on the movie and again the comfort of just being around him. She felt relaxed, at ease as she shuffled more into the couch, and before the movie was even finished, Ally found herself dozing off beside him, her head lolling off and resting against his shoulder, her body slumping a bit into his side.

Charlie

Charlie leaned back on the couch and closed his eyes. He could feel Ally's warm little body close to his and didn't miss her head coming to rest on his shoulder. He was careful not to move his shoulder and just let her rest right where she was. Hell, he was tired too. It was all too easy to slip into a little doze right along with her even if he felt his stomach doing flips. Was he really so starved for touches and affection? Was this what he'd been reduced to - getting all worked up just because a pretty girl laid her head on his shoulder? Christ he had to get it together. Ally was sweet and gorgeous but he got the impression that the last thing she wanted was anything more than a friend. Charlie wasn't sure how long they dozed. It felt like something between five minutes and five hours. All he knew was that suddenly their phones began to blow up at once with a public emergency alert, and his text message sound was going haywire as well. They both shot up and he reached for his phone, unable to make sense of things at first in his sleep haze. "Oh fuck..." he finally muttered once he realized what was going on. "Oh fuck." Vienna was trapped inside some bar, right in the middle of the riot.

Ally

Ally didn't even remember falling asleep and she certainly didn't know how much time had passed, but the loud, sudden blaring coming from both their phones made her shoot awake, jolting off him in surprise. It took her a second to get her bearings, her fingers fumbling a bit with her phone to turn off the siren noise. But once it did and she was coherent enough to read the alert on her phone her stomach dropped. An incident. A curfew. Something happened. She looked over worriedly as Charlie's own phone continued to go off, seeing the fear there. She realized then she could hear muffled noises out the window and she put her phone down, moving towards it and moving the curtains to look outside. People were running, some screaming. Some were running away, some were running towards. Something bad was happening and she felt the fear wash over her like a cold wave. "Ch-Charlie.."

Charlie

Charlie was texting his roommate back and forth, worry clear on his face. As Ally called for him, he moved over and stood behind her to get a look out of the window. Gently, he put his hand on her waist and slowly pulled her back. "C'mon, let's get away from the windows..." he suggested, suddenly feeling cold pooling in the base of his spine. Once Ally had moved away, he closed the blinds just as a precaution and walked to the front door to ensure it was fully locked. "Vienna's down there," he murmured, looking quite panicked. "I can't get even fuckin' get to her... she's down there with a broke nose and I can't leave. Who knows where the others are..." Leaving meant an instant arrest according to the emergency alert. Charlie couldn't afford to get arrested. "You can stay here," he offered, as if she had a choice. "And when the curfew is over, I'll take you home..."

Ally

She wished she'd looked away just a second earlier--maybe then she wouldn't have seen someone bashing in the windows of an apartment across the street. Were the people outside Switches? People who hated Switches? What if they tried to come here too? Ally's head was spinning, fear mounting up in her by the second even as she let him lead them away from the window. She didn't miss the way he closed the blind though, how he made sure to lock the door. It did little to quell the panic prickling through her body. She noticed he was panicking too though and she went over to him, reaching up to cup his cheek for a second just to make him focus. "H-Hey, hey. She's okay though right? I mean.....overall?" How okay could she be? With a broken nose? "Just..try and contact your other roommates...your friends." She realized then that she herself didn't really have anyone to contact. What if she'd gone to the parade after all. What if she'd gotten hurt? No one would've even noticed. She'd have no one to try and contact... She pushed those thoughts away, squeezing her eyes closed for a second as she tried to drown out the muffled commotion going on outside.

Charlie

"I - I think so," Charlie replied, grateful to have Ally here to calm him. If he'd been all alone here, there was a fairly good chance he'd be breaking curfew and making his way to Vienna, trouble be damned. Now he had someone else to worry about and protect and he couldn't abandon her here by herself. "I'll reach out... figure it out." There was Daya to think of too, and Max, and Aaliyah - had they all gone? Were they alright? Charlie shuddered from the thought. He didn't miss the fear written all over Ally though. He reached for her hand, gently squeezing it. "Hey... hey. Don't be scared, alright...? You're safe here. I promise." No one could hurt her here. "We'll be alright." It was loud outside and he was sure it wasn't going to calm down any time soon, but they would be safe as long as they stayed inside. "C'mon... let's sit back down on the couch, turn the TV up louder so we ain't got to listen to that shit outside."

Ally

"She's...she's texting at least. That's..a good thing." She knew enough about Vienna to know that the girl was important to Charlie, so she hoped she was okay. She didn't want to think about what Charlie might do if she wasn't. "Okay.."  She had some people at least..right? That Daya girl had been really nice to her. Tegan. Even the big one with the tattoos who liked baking. Maybe this was a wakeup call to stop isolating herself so much. If everyone got out of this somewhat okay, maybe she just might. Ally looked down to her hand for a second as Charlie grabbed it and she swallowed, hesitantly curling her fingers over his own and she stepped a bit closer as she heard a car alarm go off, followed by what sounded like more shattered glass. "Wh-What if we're not though? What if.....what if they try coming here? If switches are being targeted maybe...?" her mind was running a mile a minute, panic clawing more up her throat at the thoughts flooding her head. This was a switch-centric neighborhood...

Charlie

It was. The more Charlie heard from her, the better he felt. Clearly, however, Ally was still afraid. “They won’t come in through here. And if they do, I won’t let nothing happen to you. I promise.” Charlie would do everything he could anyway. “What could I do to make you feel better?” He asked, slowly running his thumb across her knuckles.

Ally

Ally was scared. And she was panicking, and she needed to get a handle on herself. She was safe. Here with Charlie. He..he’d keep her safe. She just needed to keep repeating that to herself in her head, over and over. His thumb over her her knuckles brought her back to reality, his skin a bit calloused and rough but warm, gentle. She shook her head. “Just..just stay with me.” Not like he had much choice- he could get arrested if he left. But still. She couldn’t go back to watching movies, pretend like chaos wasn’t happening right outside the door. “Try and call your friends.” She offered, figuring he had more to worry about than her and her panic attack.

Charlie

“I ain’t going nowhere,” Charlie assured her. Not that he could. “They’re fine - I’ve been getting texts in from them.” He hoped to soothe her, make her feel a little better about their situation. Going back to watching movies didn’t seem possible now. “If it’d make you feel better, you can take a bath. I ain’t got any bubble bath or nothing but soaking in the water is relaxing all the same. Would that help?” Charlie asked, hoping to find something that would soothe her.

Ally

Ally rolled her lips into her mouth, nodding. Her phone buzzed in her pocket and she quickly got it out, fumbling a bit to read the message there. "My boss?" she murmured. Apparently her diner had become on of the places people were flocking to and she frowned the more she read the group text sent to her and her coworkers. "A...a fight broke out. People got hurt....cops are all over.." she let out a shaky breath, pocketing it once again. "It'll be closed tomorrow." at least she didn't have to worry about going to work, but if things were damaged... She sighed, shaking her head before looking back up to him, a tiny little attempt at a smile on her lips- even if it didn't even come close to meeting her eyes."A bath, huh?"

Charlie

Charlie’s brow furrowed - it seemed hard to believe that all this was happening right outside. What had started it? And what were the chances there would be blowback for the switches? “That’s probably for the best,” Charlie said evenly. “No telling what’s gonna happen in the next couple days...” Not to scare her - he was just a practical guy who knew how these things would work. Charlie softened a bit and nodded. “Yeah, if you want... anything that’ll make you feel better. Baths help me feel better.”

Ally

The next couple days.... What would all this mean? Whatever it was..it wasn't going to be good for switches. She felt something twist unpleasantly in her stomach at the thought.

But for now they were safe. Charlie's friends were okay. She had to focus on what little positives she could. She looked up at him then, at his expression. He was another positive. He was probably just as scared as she was--probably more so given his loved ones were out there-- yet here he was, just trying to calm her down and make sure she was okay. She didn't deserve him. She debated for a moment before nodding, figuring it might be a good idea. "A-Alright..might as well since you're stuck with me all night."

Charlie

Charlie offered her a smile. “C’mon, I ain’t stuck with you. We just got an extended movie night.” He nodded down the hallway and put his hand on the small of Ally’s back, guiding her down the hall. “You can borrow one of my shirts and some shorts if you want. They’ll probably be way too big for you,” Charlie said with a smirk. He opened the door to his room and led her inside, motioning toward his closet. “You can pick out anything you want. And the bathroom’s just outside the hall. Everything’s clean, I promise - clean towels under the sink. I’ll be in the living room if you need anything...”

Ally

Ally managed to roll her eyes, trying to keep focusing on positives, not dwell on the chaos. They were inside, she was with Charlie, she was safe. She repeated it like a mantra. She felt his hand on his back and leaned into it a bit, letting him lead her into his room. Once again she found herself looking around, taking in all the sights of his space. She looked to his closet and nodded, another little smile on her face. “I don’t mind.” She was alone in his room then and she looked around, amused by the pinup posters he had. Images of women she could never live up to—but it didn’t matter, she was just his friend. She had no reason to try and live up to anything in his eyes. She didn’t go through his closet for too long, just pulled out an older T-shirt, one that was soft and worn and another pair of shorts he had. He was right, they’d be big on her, but oh well. With a little pile of clothes in hand she went to the bathroom, closing the door behind her and trying her best to stop thinking of everything happening outside.

Charlie

Charlie let her relax in the tub for a little while as he checked up on his friends. Everyone he could reach was safe as far as he could tell, though he still worried. It was a long night ahead. He watched the news to try to get a sense of what was happening, but no one seemed to know. There was mass confusion and panic as everyone struggled to figure out what was going on. It was a while later before Ally emerged and he couldn’t help but grin at how big his clothes were on her. “Feel any better...?” He asked, scooting back over so she could sit on the couch beside him.

Ally

In the end she just took a shower, and it at least helped a little, the water pouring on her drowning out the thoughts in her head. She hoped His roommates wouldn’t mind it as she used some of their shampoo and conditioner and a little while later she was out. She’d texted Daya, sent a few more messages out to people she’d been friendly with other the last few weeks, got updates from work. A window had been busted through, looters tried to take food. Might be closed the next day too. She sighed as she thought about the hit her paycheck was going to take but...oh well. Charlie was right that his clothes were huge on her, the sleeves of the t-shirt nearly going beyond her elbows and the shorts passed her knees. The clothes smelled like him though and were soft and clean so she was very okay with it all. She left her damp hair over her shoulder as she walked back out, a bit shy as she met his eyes and hummed a bit. “Yeah..a little.” She assured, moving to sit beside him. She saw the news on, tjat pit in her stomach growing again. “Any...updates?”

Charlie

Charlie considered lying to her, but knew it would do little good. Eventually Ally would see the news for herself. "There's been people killed," he said, his voice soft. How many? They wouldn't know any time soon - probably not for days the full effect of the violence. "Everyone I've reached out are okay though... shaken up for sure, but okay." He could tell that the news was only making Ally more anxious. "We should watch something else. Ain't nothing we can do about any of it anyway. We can put on another movie..." Even though that felt wildly inappropriate. Charlie wanted a cigarette, but even he was nervous about going outside even to the fire escape. Just because he wasn't afraid of much didn't mean he was in a hurry to go looking for trouble. "You, uh - you drink?" he asked. "Can have some of my whiskey if you want..."

Ally

Ally’s face fell at the news of people being dead. How many? Five? Ten? more? She exhaled shakily, nodding “That....that’s good at least..” she mumbled, settling in beside him. “I never realized just how...isolated I am. Til now. I don’t really have anyone to contact. To check on. And likewise....” she trailed off, pursing her lips. “If I were out there, if something happened, who would care?” She said it more rhetorically, mumbled to herself more than anything. “I don’t feel like watching a movie right now but...yeah. I drink. A drink sounds good right about now actually.”

Charlie

Charlie gently nudged Ally again, hoping to make her feel better. As if it was possible in a situation like this. "Hey, you got someone now... and someone to check on you," he added. She no longer had to be isolated and alone if she didn't want to - he would take care of her just as he tried to do with Vienna. "Alright, then let me go grab what we need." He got up from the couch again and disappeared into his room to pull out a new-er bottle of whiskey. Only a quarter of it had been drunk so far. Charlie set it down on the coffee table and then disappeared into the kitchen to grab some mugs from them to drink out of. Normally, he drank straight from the bottle, but this seemed more polite. "How much are you thinking?" he asked, unscrewing the cap on top.(edited)

Ally

Ally looked over as he nudged her,his words at least somewhat soothing her frayed nerves.  “So you’re my walker and my bodyguard now?” She asked softly, trying to relax some more as she gave him a little nudge, leaning against him for a moment. “For what it’s worth...you have me too.” She moved off of him so he could get up to get the drinks, and soon enough she had a mug in front of her and she let out a breath “However much you think this situation calls for.”

Charlie

Charlie laughed. "I'm just a friend who knows how to beat up people who could hurt you," he explained. "And I appreciate knowin' you got my back." He poured a generous amount of whiskey into the mugs, about half full, and passed it over to her. "I'm thinkin' at least this much," Charlie replied, bringing the mug up to his lips for a drink. The taste didn't phase him anymore even though it was strong and cheap. "I got some cards if you'd rather play cards than watch this." The death toll on the TV was rapidly rising as the announcers became more frantic and Charlie didn't want Ally to panic anymore than she already had.

Ally

Ally smiled again, more genuinely this time, “Sounds an awful lot like a bodyguard to me.” She teased softly. She accepted the mug with a sigh, wincing as the alcohol burned the back of her throat but she welcomed it, it gave her something else to focus on for a moment. “If you want..” she murmured, shrugging. She looked at the tv again, feeling dread pooling in her body. The death count was already nearing one hundred...  “Can you turn it off?”

Charlie

Charlie nodded, ready for a break from the bad news himself. He reached for the remote and turned the TV off. But without any noise coming through, all of the yells and breaking glass from outside were amplified even more. He reached for the mug and took another sip. "I'll get the cards... you, uh, want to put on some music from your phone?" he asked. "Whatever you like best. I'll grab my charger for you too." Better Ally to pick her favorite than him - he knew his taste of music wouldn't exactly help the anxiety in the room.

Ally

The silence in the room amplified the chaos outside and she swallowed, glancing to the window before back to the cup, forcing herself to take a long drink. “Yeah, I’ll put something on.” She murmured, letting him go off. Curiosity got the better of her once alone and she couldn’t help but walk over to the window, peeking through the corner of the blinds to look down below.  So much for a curfew, given the people out there. There was a store down the block with the windows smashed open, people running in and out to steal things. Others were yelling, close to fighting. All that was missing was something on fire for it to be a true riot— and even then she didn’t doubt there was one happening a few blocks away. “God...”(edited)

Charlie

Charlie returned back to the room, pausing just in the doorway to watch Ally. She was looking out of the window again, no doubt at all the chaos down below. "C'mere, darlin'," he said gently, hoping to coax her away. "Best they don't see anyone's up here, just in case..." Much as he was trying to be confidant that no rogue rioters would find their way up here, truth was, Charlie figured it could go either way. Less anyone saw anything up here, the better. He set the cards and the charger down on the coffee table and took a seat on the floor before beginning to shuffle the deck. "Alright, your pick - war, blackjack, go fish - or somethin' else if you got an idea," Charlie offered, pausing his shuffling to take a sip of whiskey.

Ally

Ally bit her lip, glancing out for a moment more before listening to him, letting him pull her away. She made sure the blinds were fully drawn, the curtains covering. “Sorry..” She murmured, looking back to him “the store on the corner...it’s been looted. Windows smashed in cars..” “I only know blackjack. I never really learned anything else.” She told him softly as she moved to sit beside him on the ground. She stayed close to him, feeling at least a little bit safer next to him and she grabbed her phone, tapping a few things on the screen before music started to play. “What’s your favorite? Teach me something?”

Charlie

Charlie nodded. Clearly, things had escalated quickly and they'd continue to do so until the police finally put a stop to the riot. Problem was, he had little doubt the police would contribute to as many deaths as the riot had - they'd just never admit to it. Instead of saying as much, however, he merely began dealing the cards evenly between them. "I'll teach you War then, pretty simple," he started, grateful that the soft music Ally played was enough to drown out most of the noise going on outside. "So - we each got twenty-six cards. We'll turn over each card one by one and whoever's got the highest card wins the stack. If they're the same, then you put down one card face down, one face up. Whoever's got the highest card wins all the ones in the pile. Winner is the one who's got the most cards at the end. Make sense?"

Ally

Ally listened as he spoke, paying attention to the rules and choosing to mainly focus on his voice instead of the yelling happening outside. She nodded every now and then, needing a few rounds before finally getting the hang of it. By the time she was done with her mug of whiskey she felt warmer, a bit more relaxed (which she figured was the whole point of it) and by the time they’d gone through the whole deck, she was actually pretty good. She filled up their cups once more, deciding to play a deck of blackjack as well to pass the time, to give them something to do. By the time they'd gone through the deck again though she couldn’t resist anymore and she caved, reaching over for the remote to see updates on the news. The thing was though, just as the tv turned on, their phones both buzzed again. The alert she got was the same as what was on the television: the city was on lockdown. The city was in chaos. The city was in flames. ....Almost three hundred dead. Probably mostly switches. She'd just thought a dozen or so. But this...this was outside of anything she could've possibly imagined. Ally felt her eyes watering, her hand automatically searching out Charlie’s on the floor beside her, and maybe it was the alcohol or maybe the fear, but either way she didn't even second guess it as she pressed into his side, hiding her face against him.(edited)

Charlie

Charlie wasn't sure how long they played cards - a while. Despite the chaos raging outside, they found some measure of peace inside his apartment. After finishing up a round, he started to reshuffle the deck again and noticed Ally reaching for the remote. He opened his mouth to ask her not to turn the news back on, that he didn't want to know. Not now anyway. But the emergency alert sounded on both of their phones at the same time, saying everything the TV was. Charlie swallowed hard and set down the cards. Ally curled in close to his side and he let her, wrapping his arm gently around her waist to pull her in close. "It's okay, darlin'... it'll be alright," Charlie said softly, though it wasn't and it wouldn't be. How do you move on from something like this? How was he supposed to go back to work and function? His hand slowly rubbed up and down her back, a comfort for himself as much as it was her. "Hey... y'know, it's gettin' kinda late now and it's been a long day... you want to lay down? You can have my bed - my door's got a lock on it if it'd help. I'll stay out here and make sure no one comes through..."

Ally

"How?" She asked quietly, brokenly, muffled into him as he pulled her in. She let him, moving even closer still as his arm wrapped around her waist. So much hurt and turmoil just because people like them existed. How could it ever be okay? If anything, things were probably just going to be even more worse now than ever before. Ally sniffled quietly, trying her best to swallow passed the lump in her throat, trying to focus on his hand moving along her back, the rhythmic rise and fall from his breathing. As he spoke up she listened but then immediately shook her head, lifting it so her eyes could meet his--up close enough that there'd be no hiding how red hers were, the fear still in her gaze. "There's no way I can sleep right now.." She admitted, swallowing again before giving another shake of her head, "A-And Charlie no, I....I'm not taking your bed, don't be crazy."

Charlie

Because the world is evil. Because they hate switches. Because they were never going to give us a peaceful day. And if Ally thought this was bad, Charlie knew it'd kill her to know what their government did to people who weren't their citizens. "I know... but I can't stay up and watch TV and wait for my phone to go off. Ain't nothin' you or me can do..." Charlie said softly. The crowd didn't scare him so much as the police. If he, a switch, was caught breaking curfew he couldn't be sure he'd ever get out. "I ain't crazy, I can take the couch. My sheets are clean, I promise." Just like everything else in his room - not a speck of dust could be found on any of his sparse belongings.

Ally

He was right. There was nothing they could do. Absolutely nothing. Ally had never felt so helpless and useless in her life. The thought made her curl into him a bit more. "It's not about being clean or anything just...this is your home. That's your bed. I'm not making you sleep out here....besides. We both know I'd fit a lot better on this couch than you will." The attempt at a joke was hollow, but it was the best she could do right now. So she just gave him a little nudge on where her hand had landed against his stomach, "Just..go get me a blanket or something, and I'll clean up the plates and cups from in here."

Charlie

"I can fit on the couch just fine," Charlie protested, giving her a playful nudge of his own.  It would be uncomfortable for him, but he didn't want to her to have to be. There was one compromise, but he wasn't sure he would go for it. "I mean... if you - if you're alright with it, we could share. I got enough pillows to put one between us..."

Ally

Ally was already moving to get up, figuring she could just out-stubborn him and ignore his further protests. She was about to move to stand to grab the dishes to take to the sink when he spoke again and she paused, kneeling beside him. It would be a decent compromise, and she'd seen his bed, it was plenty big enough.... She'd literally never shared a bed before with anyone in her life though--and now she was asked to by her first real friend? One she inconveniently having some silly crush on? She bit her lip, glancing at him, "You're really deadset on me not sleeping on this couch, huh.." it wasn't a no.

Charlie

Charlie felt a blush creeping across his cheeks. He played off with a little laugh and nodded toward it. "Truth is, I got no clue what's on the fuckin' thing," he admitted. "My roommate already had it when I moved in. And he ain't half as clean as I am, so..." I mean, it was a legitimate fear. Charlie was sure the couch had been banged on a few times, at least. "Besides, I think we'd both feel better if you were behind another locked door. And you wouldn't sleep out here, hearin' all the noise." Plus Ally was terrified. Only a flimsy door (albeit locked) stood between her and the "outside". Charlie didn't doubt there were people at least on the first floor of the building trying to get out of the chaos, and more probably heading up to the upper floors.

Ally

Ally felt her own blush creeping up and she bit her lip, hesitating for a moment more. Being behind two locked doors did sound like a decent idea. And with the way he said it, it just made those butterflies ripple up again. He wants me safe. Her thoughts mirrored his in that she had little doubt people would be rushing into the building--at least into the lobby area. The further away they were from all that, the better. Her mind was made up before she even said it. "Alright." She agreed, nodding. "I'll still clean up here, tidy everything up. You um...can you get the bed ready then? Maybe check on your friends again, just..make sure they're still safe."

Charlie

"Uh... yeah. I'm gonna take a quick shower and then I'll be ready," Charlie replied. He slowly pushed up off the floor and retreated into his bedroom to grab a new tshirt and pair of boxers for himself, then made his way to the bathroom. Charlie wasn't in there for too long. He stood under the spray of the shower, mostly contemplating what would happen next. What he would do. New Eden would chaotic for months to come after this and being a switch would only get harder. But he had friends here to look after, a sort-of life - could he really leave all that behind? He pushed it from his mind as he dried off and started getting redressed. For Ally's sake, he had to appear perfectly calm and unbothered, as if this was all some minor inconvenience. Charlie returned to his room, putting his dirty clothes away before he began turning down the bed for both of them. As promised, he put a pillow in the middle to help mitigate any awkwardness. As the sirens continued to wail and voices hollered outside, he pulled up the sound of waves crashing on his phone, hoping to help drown it out for both their sakes. "This alright?" he asked when he heard Ally return, offering her a small little smile.

Ally

"Okay." She agreed, watching him get up and go and she stayed there for a moment, still kneeling and just letting staring out at nothing, her thoughts drifting. Things were...bad. This was bad.  Hundreds of people were dead, so many more injured. This was going to have repercussions for all of them. She was afraid to walk out that door, knowing full well that life was going to be so much worse from here on out. That was tomorrow's problem though--that's what she had to tell herself. For now at least, she was safe. With that in mind she got up, gathering the plates and the pizza platter, the mugs and the whiskey, taking it all to the kitchen. She took her time in cleaning, quickly having realized Charlie liked things clean, tidy. She put everything away where she remembered it being and then went back to the living room, wiping down any crumbs, rearranging the cushions on the couch, making sure everything was spotless. It was when she heard another loud crash outside and glass shattering to the ground that she turned off all the lights, double checking once more that all the locks were on the doors. She had to resist pushing the coffee table in front of the door and instead just went to the bedroom. The first thing she noticed was the sound of waves, somewhat managing to drown out the chaos from outside and it unraveled something in her, soothed her a bit. She looked to the bed then, seeing the line of pillows and she managed a little smile, nodding, "Yeah...Perfect."

Charlie

Charlie knew he couldn't wave his hand and make all of the outside problems go away. Eventually, they'd both have to go outside and face everything that had happened and continued to happen. But tonight, at least, he could help them both pretend. As Ally came into the room, Charlie walked back to the door and made a show of locking it for her, just to help her feel a little more safe. "I'm sorry all this happened..." As if he could control it. As if he had any choice in it. "When the curfew's ended, I'll walk you home." It was a shame Ally didn't have any friends or family here. He'd ask her to stay, if she wanted, but figured they needed to get through the awkward stage of sharing a bed first. Charlie's hand hovered over the switch for the ceiling fan. "You, uh, alright with the fan being on?" he asked. He hoped she'd be okay with it - wearing clothes to bed was already going to make him a bit warmer than normal.

Ally

Ally watched him lock the door, the quiet click of the lock given them an added layer of protection. "I turned off all the lights. Made sure again everything was closed and locked." When he apologized though she let out a breath, shaking her head, "It's not like I'm the only one being affected here, Charlie." She told him softly, knowing he was going to be just at risk as she was now whenever they even just walked outside. "And okay." She wasn't about to tease him about bodyguarding and walking her around--not when she felt like it might be necessary to not walk around alone tomorrow. She watched him move to the switch and she smiled a bit, nodding, "Yeah, I'm fine with it. Sorry if...it'll be uncomfortable, sharing the space. If you get hot or something let me know. I'm still okay with taking the couch." She assured once more even as she moved to one of the sides of the bed, hesitating before sitting on the edge.

Charlie

"I know, but... I don't know. I guess I'm just so used to bad shit happening I don't even question it anymore," Charlie sighed, shaking his head. He flipped on the switched, the rickety creaking sound of the fan giving a little more noise to help cover up the conflict outside. He walked over to the bed and eased down onto it, sighing softly as he did so - God, what he wouldn't give for a real bed with a real frame. "It ain't uncomfortable for me, I promise," Charlie replied. Sharing a bed a beautiful woman (even one who was just a friend) was hardly a hardship for him. He untucked the comforter and sheets and pushed the comforter off of himself, already preparing to be a little warm just from wearing clothes. "Try to get some sleep, darlin' - long as this night was, tomorrow's gonna be even longer," Charlie said softly as he laid down on his back. "When the riot stops... that's when things'll really get crazy."

Ally

"Well...whatever happens..we'll deal. Together." It was a loaded promise, something that again should scare her but...it didn't. Once again, all she felt was safety with him, trust. Maybe the universe knew just how shitty things were about to get and decided she finally needed someone to lean on a little bit--and as Charlie moved to lay down beside her, she watched him. If he was who the universe chose, then she was very okay with it. "What a comforting thought." She quipped wryly but nodded and moved. She helped with the sheets, kicking them down to the foot of the bed before she moved to lay down as well, curling up on her side to face him. With the lights off, it felt more intimate but..also safer still. Like a veil had been draped over everything. With the sounds of the fan and the waves, she could almost pretend that the world wasn't falling apart right outside the window. "I'm glad I'm here. With you. I...don't think I'd feel safe right now anywhere else in this city- including my own home."

Charlie

When she spoke, Charlie turned over on his side to face her as well, nodding. "I'm glad you're here too. I woulda already done something if you wasn't." He would've bolted as soon as he got Vienna's text, threat of arrest be damned. Ally had given a good reason to stop and think. "Goodnight, Ally," he said softly, his lips curving in a soft little smile though it was doubtful she could see it in the dark. "If you need me, wake me up, alright...?" Charlie closed his eyes, listening to the sound of waves crashing from his phone, the old rickety ceiling fan, and now Ally's soft breathing from beside him. Sirens and crashes and screams could still be heard faintly outside, but it was nothing he hadn't gotten used to years before. Sleep didn't take too long to come for him.

Ally

Ally didn't want to think about that; he'd looked frantic when Vienna had texted him...if she hadn't been there, he might've run out after her...could've been arrested. She'd only just gotten him in her life, if she'd lost him..... She put a halt to those thoughts immediately. Instead just nodded as he spoke. "Okay. Goodnight, Charlie." Sleep didn't come as quickly for her though, so instead she just tried to focus on the sounds in the room, the waves crashing, the way his breathing evened out in a matter of minutes. Her eyes adjusted to the dark and she looked at his outline, the subtle shifts with his breaths, and when a louder crash was heard outside she reached across the pillows, her fingers moving softly down his arm til she got to his hand, her body shuffling a bit closer. You're safe. It's okay she kept repeating it over and over until finally, finally she managed to doze off. Even in her sleep she moved though, a bit restless- the blankets were kicked lower, the pillows nudged aside and away, unconsciously seeking him out and the safety of his hold.

Charlie

Charlie woke up with a warm body pressed close to him. He could feel soft breath on his neck, could smell the scent of his own shampoo, and there were small, cold feet pressed against his calves. When he opened his eyes, he realized the pillow between them had been tossed aside in their sleep and Ally was cuddled in close to him and his arm had instinctively snaked around her. Charlie bit his lip. A part of him wanted to wake her up, just so she could move if she wanted - but the other part of him wanted to enjoy this for just a little while longer. His heart pounded in his chest, unsure of what to do. Ally was beginning to stir in her sleep, clearly close to waking up herself. Much longer and the choice would be out of his hands altogether. "Mornin', darlin'," Charlie said softly, his voice deep and gravelly with sleep. He braced himself, hoping she wouldn't freak out or get upset.

Ally

As Ally slowly began waking up, a few things started pinging her senses: she was warm, her pillow was moving. It took another second to realize it wasn't a pillow, but a person. Another second to register one arm under her, the other wrapped around her waist, her legs loosely tangled between an other's. It was the first time in her life she'd ever woken up in someone's arms. Then she heard his voice. Ally's eyelashes fluttered opened, her head shifting just enough to glance up, meeting Charlie's gaze with her own sleepy one. Part of her thought she should be freaking out--another part thought he should be freaking out. But instead he just had his arm around her still, her own hand tucked up against his stomach and she shifted it, sliding her hand to his side. "Morning." her own voice was soft, breathier than normal and she shifted a bit, feeling like she should pull away, but she didn't. Her eyes ducked down to his mouth for a second, lingering, her thoughts buzzing over how close they were and a blush tinging her cheeks pink before she looked back up to his eyes. "So much for those pillows..."

Charlie

Charlie shivered. He was so fucking touch-starved that the feel of her hand sliding along his side was enough to garner a reaction from him. He knew they should pull away but he didn't want to. Ally was warm and soft and he could hardly think of her as just a friend when she fit so perfectly in his arms. Ally's face was close to his, her soft pink lips right there - he could kiss her. But he supposed it was a blessing she hadn't flown out of his arms already. Charlie didn't want to scare her. "Yeah, so much for 'em," he said softly, a little chuckle rumbling in his chest. "Guess we just got cold."

Ally

Ally was close enough to him that she noticed the reaction, the little shiver rolling through him. Had she been the cause of it? The thought woke up those butterflies in her gut. She was barely aware that her hand moved, sliding up along his shirt just a little more, her thumb stroking back and forth lightly against the ridges of his ribs. She hummed in response to the words, nodding a bit, a little smile ghosting on her lips as she heard his little laugh. "Yeah, guess so." She couldn't stop the way her eyes darted down again, feeling what could only be described as tension between them, crackling in the air like electricity and she slowly licked her lips, parting them slightly, unconsciously shifting just the tiniest bit closer before somewhat getting ahold of herself enough to speak and she looked up at him through her lashes. "I-I um...--we...we should probably..get up.."

Charlie

Charlie swallowed, relishing the feeling of her soft touch, unsure when he'd be able to feel something like it again. Ally's lips were so close, parting just a little as she scooted even closer to him. Did she want him to...? Was she trying to...? He didn't know. Rarely was he ever unsure of himself, but it'd been a long time and he'd been rejected enough lately that he wasn't keen on trying again. "Probably," Charlie said softly, though he didn't move a muscle to make it happen. They should get up, see what damage the city had taken overnight - but here, wrapped up in each other, they were safe. And he wasn't ready to lose that. "Ally..." he said softly, trailing off as his eyes focused on her plump lips. He couldn't say what he wanted, couldn't ask - he felt frozen in his spot.

Ally

They were close enough that Charlie could probably feel the way her heart was pounding in her chest, only getting harder still when he agreed they should get up but he still didn't move. He was her friend, her first real friend in god only knows how long...surely that's all he could see her as too right? This warm, sweet guy who had these beautiful models pinned up on his walls. Surely he didn't feel the same thing... Right? But then the way he said her name made her stomach do somersaults, and that electric feeling was still just building, the tension feeling like a rubber-band being pulled to its limits. His eyes mimicked her own, his gaze dropping down to her lips, and even though she kept trying to tell herself they were just friends.... Ally finally let the rubber-band snap and she leaned up, her heart threatening to tear itself out of her ribcage as she tentatively pressed her lips against his.

Charlie

Charlie couldn't say he was surprised when Ally finally pressed her lips to his - the tension between them was amplified to the point it was palpable that morning. Maybe he was an idiot for not doing it himself. But he couldn't hard think about that while she was kissing him. He responded instantly. His hand gently slipped into her hair as he kissed her back, tentative at first to give her a chance to pull away if she wanted. When she didn't, his stomach did a little flip. Charlie let his lips move with hers, letting her set the pace of wherever this was going. Mostly he was just happy to be touched, to be kissed, to have someone in his arms even if it was only for a little while. Ally may have initiated things but Charlie took it a step further, letting his tongue gently swipe across her bottom lip, his way of asking for permission. He wanted to taste her, wanted to spend all morning with her just like this. Fuck New Eden, fuck the riots, fuck everything outside of that bedroom.

Ally

For only a second she was worried she'd done the wrong thing and screwed this all up. She was going to go back to being friendless and alone, more isolated than ever because she had to go and fuck things up by letting her stupid emotions get in the way.... But then he was kissing her back, his hand sliding up into her hair and she shuddered in response, her own fingers twisting into the material of his shirt against his side, holding onto him. At the first feeling of his tongue against her lip Ally sucked in a little breath, her lips easily parting for him and a tiny, barely-audible little noise escaped out of her. She'd kissed people before, but it was nothing like this. It was either being a silly teenager and practicing, or it was all teeth and tongues and urgency. Nothing like this--soft and slow and burning under the surface, making her toes curl and her heart stutter and the hand against his side tugged a bit, trying to pull him closer as she pressed her head up in an attempt to deepen it further.

Charlie

Charlie couldn't help but let out a soft little moan, happy that Ally hadn't managed to come to her senses and push him off of her. He was content to kiss her like this, slow and sweet, letting his tongue find hers. Ally's hands had twisted deeper into his shirt and he felt wanted for the first time in a long time. This wasn't a cheap booty call. This wasn't a one night stand to scratch an itch. This was... this was different. Charlie wasn't sure how long they laid in bed, kissing each other as if it was the only source of oxygen in the room. It felt like hours. Could've been. They'd slowly been shuffling, one awkward movement at a time, and he was finally on top of her, holding his weight up on his arms as they kissed. Charlie finally was the first to break apart, only for his kiss-swollen lips to attach straight to her jaw next, leaving a trail of soft, wet kisses behind as he moved down her neck.

Ally

Ally couldn't help but shudder again as she heard the little moan he let out, her thought again being I caused that. I made him make that noise. She wanted to make him do it again. She had a brief moment of wondering what other noises she could pull out of him, what little reactions she could cause. She wanted to learn them all. She was out of breath in the best way possible and she really didn't care. She didn't care that her hair was fanned out along his pillow, her face flushed, her (his) t-shirt twisted and rucked up a bit around her body with their movements. All she cared about was his mouth on hers and how amazing it felt when they'd finally moved enough that he was on top of her, pinning her down. Ally gasped shakily for breath as they pulled apart but the noise quickly ebbed off into a breathless little moan as his lips just continued on, moving down her neck. This was another thing she'd never experienced and it left her shivering, little goosebumps prickling up along her skin. "Charlie..." it was just as soft and breathy, her lashes fluttering and her head tilting to the side, baring her neck more for him as her hand moved up along his back and sank into his hair, holding him close.

Charlie

Every hair on Charlie's body felt like it was standing on end as she moaned his name. The soft little noises he'd pulled from her had been heaven and he desperately wanted to hear more of her. His mouth moved to the other side of her neck, copying the pattern. But now her (his) shirt had to go. Charlie propped himself up on one arm, his eyes glued to hers as his other hand slipped just under her shirt, slowly pushing it up. He was taking his time, making sure this was okay first - God, he wanted to see all of her laid out before him, wanted to be greedy and taste every part of her. Wanted to feel her hands slide through his hair, over his body. God, he wanted.

Ally

For not the first time in her life, Ally hated the regulations and laws placed against them. She wanted to know what all this would feel like inhibited by the shots they had to take. She wanted to know if it was possible to feel more overwhelmed then she already was with the way his mouth moved along her skin. She wanted to know how everything felt with him. She was about to whine at the loss when he pulled away, but then she felt his hand along her stomach, his fingers sliding along her belly making her visibly shudder as he started pushing her shirt up and she wanted it, she did. But then, uninvitedly, thoughts from her past started creeping up in her head, memories from the last time she'd been any sort of intimate with someone floating up and she hesitated. She didn't want to mix the two--and this...whatever this was with Charlie, whatever it could be..she didn't want to rush it and ruin it. "Ch-Charlie, wait.."

Charlie

Charlie immediately froze when she told him to wait and moved his hand away from her stomach. "Are you alright?" he asked, his voice soft and clearly filled with concern. "We can stop if it's - if it's too much too soon." They were moving a little fast. Despite having shared many a secret between them, they hadn't known each other that long. Not really. Charlie swallowed hard and stayed where he was on top of Ally, using both of his arms to stay propped up so that he didn't crush her tiny frame.

Ally

Ally frowned a bit when he froze, feeling just how quickly he pulled away, like he'd been burned. Like he'd done something wrong. She couldn't let him think like that so she immediately nodded, "No, yeah, I...I'm okay. I promise." She glanced to the side where his arms bracketed beside her and she moved her hand to slide up his arm, stroking lightly. "M'sorry.." she mumbled before moving up further still, licking her lips and swallowing as her fingers slid up his shoulder and along his neck, up til she was cupping his cheek. "I-I just....I've never...--" she bit her lip, trying to get her thoughts into words. "I don't...want to rush. I...this..you. I don't want to screw things up."

Charlie

"You ain't got to be sorry, darlin'," Charlie murmured, leaning down to gently brush his nose with hers, wanting to convey that everything was alright. He wasn't mad, hurt, or disappointed. He leaned into her touch and pressed his lips to her palm, wanting to show her that as much as tell her. "It's okay, we ain't got to do this now. Or tomorrow. Or the next day. We'll do it when you're ready, alright?" To show his point, Charlie reached between them and gently pulled her shirt back down to cover her stomach. "We won't rush. We can stay here for a while, if you want, just kiss. Or we can get up and I can walk you home..."

Ally

"I...I like it when you call me that." She admitted quietly, a blush on her cheeks as she said it. Despite the anxiety she'd been feeling a little smile crept up onto her lips as he brushed his nose against hers, as he kissed his palm. It was all so...soft. She'd never been treated so gently before and it all kind of made her want to cry from how good it felt, how starved she realized she was of it. The feeling was only amplified by how understanding he was being- even just the way he pulled the shirt back down..it was all perfect, and more than she'd ever gotten. Walk home... Those words brought reality crashing into her. The whole reason she was here, all that'd happened last night.. It was like the bubble they'd been in had been shattered and she swallowed, glancing to the window. All she could see was the sun shining. There was no more screaming, no more sirens and glass shattering. From this position..it was just another day. She knew better though. The weight of it all settled into her stomach. "Stay. Just....just for a few more minutes. Pretend that..everything's okay right outside these walls." As she said it she tugged on him again, wanting him closer, wanting the safe feeling of being wrapped up in him.

Charlie

"Yeah? So I'll keep calling you that," Charlie replied, grinning down at her. He could feel the sudden shift in the air when he mentioned walking her home, no doubt calling back memories of the day before and what awaited them outside. He carefully moved off of Ally, settling back down beside her on the bed. His arm snaked around her waist, pulling her tight, pulling her closer to him so she could feel safe once again. "So then we'll keep pretending," he murmured, leaning in to brush his lips to hers, feeling empowered now that he knew she wanted to this too. "We'll pretend all day if we want to." Charlie pressed his lips to the tip of her nose and then to her forehead. "Can't no one get us here."

Ally

This time her smile was bigger, much more genuine at his response. She let him move off of her and barely waited a second before curling in close, mimicking the position they'd woken up in but this time closer, more purposeful. She tangled her leg through his again, wrapped her own arm around him as he followed suit. She was safe here. They were safe here. She tipped her head up a bit as he brushed his lips against hers, her heart doing a little jolt at how simple it was, how he'd done it without a second thought. It was something she could happily get used to. "That sounds nice." She agreed softly. She closed her eyes as he kissed her forehead, curling more into him to soak up just a little more of this peace, knowing eventually they had to get up, had to face reality. But reality could wait at least ten more minutes.

Charlie

Charlie slowly ran his hand through her hair, enjoying the closeness as much as anything. The crippling loneliness he tended to feel was suddenly very... gone. Ally made it easy to ignore the terror and chaos outside in favor of her small, soft body pressed to his. He wasn't sure how long they laid just like that. But eventually, they had to get up to eat. To drink. To take care of all of the things they couldn't ignore forever. After Charlie had gotten up to brush his teeth and get something to drink, he returned to his room, not bothering to shut the door as he changed into another tshirt and a pair of jeans. He was about to pull the clean shirt over his head when Ally walked in. For a moment, he froze - outside of the haze of their makeout session, he was keenly aware how scarred up his torso was. He quickly tugged on his shirt, not really wanting to dwell on it right then. "You, uh, you ready to head out?" He asked, knowing the answer. Neither of them were ready to head out. But they had to.

Ally

Ally would've preferred more than anything to just stay in bed with him, to keep his arms around her, his lips on hers. But eventually they could no longer ignore reality. So with a sigh she got up with him, trying to ignore the dread coiling through her more and more as she got ready. She decided to keep his t-shirt on and put her own leggings and shoes back on after washing her face and brushing her teeth. She gathered up all her movies and things in the bag she brought. Everything was set. She went back to the bedroom then, pausing when she saw him without a shirt on. She wasn't surprised that he was muscular--she could feel it through his shirt with how close he'd been. But what surprised her instead was all the scars on his body. ...Were they all from the war? The questions were on her tongue and she flushed as she realized she'd been staring but she snapped out of it, biting her lip as she nodded. "I--yeah. Yeah, let's...get this over with." She held her hand out for him, a little hopeful look mixing with the anxiety she was feeling about stepping out the safety of the apartment.

Charlie

Charlie took her hand gladly, lacing his fingers tight with hers as they made their way from his apartment. Outside was... chaos. Broken windows were commonplace, trash littered the streets, cars had been abandoned in the middle of the road. Unconsciously, Charlie tugged Ally a little closer to him as they made their way to her place. "Jesus..." He muttered. Businesses were closed left and right and for the first time he began to realize the impacts. Food would be harder to get, basic services would be shut down for a few days. "You sure you're gonna be alright at your place...?" Charlie asked. Maybe it was selfish. Maybe he was over worrying. He just didn't want her to be afraid.

Ally

Ally had tried her best to prepare herself for what was outside, but it still hadn't been good enough. It was like they'd walked onto the set of an apocalypse movie--except everything was very, very real. She felt Charlie tugging her closer, and when she saw what was unmistakably a large puddle of blood in the middle of the empty road, she let him. People had died right outside their window as they slept. She wondered if this was anything like a warzone. For a second, she almost thought about asking. Instead she kept her hand tight in his and held his arm with the other, somewhat hugging it to her side as they walked and she hummed, nodding even though she wasn't looking at him. "I um..yeah, I'm sure it'll be fine." Ally led the way to her apartment, glad they weren't even ten blocks apart. The thing was though, their surroundings didn't get any better as they walked--if anything, it was worse. There was more blood smeared on the concrete, against walls. Glass shattered, trash everywhere, there was even a burned out shell of a car in the middle of the street. The bodega on her corner had been severely looted, every window shattered, the aisles inside toppled over. "I..I'm just up the block..." she mumbled, although fear laced the words.

Charlie

Charlie didn't like this. Ally was a grown woman and capable of handling herself, but the closer they got to her place, the worse the surroundings looked. It was complete devastation on this side of town. "Ally..." Charlie said her name softly, hoping she might reconsider. Although the riot had now been contained, he didn't like the thought of her being alone at her place.  She'd been petrified the night before - he had to imagine it'd be worse by herself. "You can stay a day or two with me, you know. Until this gets cleaned up..." Or at least partially cleaned up.

Ally

Ally shook her head, looking up at him, "Charlie, no. I....I don't want your roommates getting annoyed with having some stranger in their space. I've been alone for forever, remember? I'll be fine." there was an adamance in her voice, almost like she was trying to convince herself just as much as she was trying to him--maybe even more so. She led the way to her building, her heart sinking though when the door to the lobby was wide open, the key panel in the front dangling off the wires. She lived on the second floor so she never bothered with the elevator and she led him to the stairwell, unknowingly gripping his hand a bit tighter when there was debris in the stairs too and it was only the knowledge that his knee might be hurting that stopped her from tugging on him, from just up and running the stairs. The lightbulb at the top was shattered, glass on the ground as she opened the door to her floor. "No..." she breathed it out to herself as she entered the hall, the first door broken, the second looking like it had a dent in it from trying to be kicked in. She mumbled a few more 'no's' under her breath as she sped them up, walking down the hall to where her place was towards the end, noting the light pouring out into the hallway before she even got all the way there and that's what it took for her to yank her hand out of his, sprinting the rest of the way. A little sob bubbled out of her as she stood in her doorway on shaky legs, the door kicked in and nearly off the hinges. A little side table she had by the door was toppled over, all the drawers' contents spilled out on the ground. It took a few seconds to realize the ripped paper she saw all over the floor was her paintings or from her sketchpad. She saw her easel at the back end of the apartment cracked in pieces all on the floor, the window above her bed wide open with the screen torn. And that's just what she could see from the doorway.

Charlie

"But you ain't got to be anymore..." Charlie replied, though he wasn't sure his words were getting through to her. When they finally made it to her building, his stomach twisted in apprehension. Clearly, this place had been looted. He tightened his grip on her hand as they made their way up the stairs. Ally's anxiety was palpable, and his concern was growing with every step they took. Finally, they made it to her apartment, only to find the door kicked in. Ally's apartment had been ransacked. Charlie let go of her hand so he could wrap his arm around her and pull her close to him, keeping her upright as they surveyed the damage. He started to say it's alright but he knew it wasn't. None of this was alright. "C'mon... let's - let's go in. I'll help you start to clean up," Charlie offered, gently guiding her to the door.(edited)

Ally

If Ally had been scared before, it was nothing compared to now. Everything she owned was in this tiny place...and now most of it was ruined, gone. She hadn't realized how weak her knees felt til she had Charlie's arms wrapped around her, keeping her upright. She couldn't help the tears either, the complete, utter feeling of helplessness washing over her. What was she going to do? She felt his nudge, heard his words, but it took a few seconds to just get her bearings before finally just silently moving. It was even worse inside. Mostly all her paintings were ripped up, her sketchpads torn into or left scattered all over the floor. A few dishes she had in the kitchen were in pieces on the floor. Her drawers were all yanked open, clothes spilled out all over. Her little 'nightstand' by her bed was toppled over too, the drawers pulled out and she felt a fresh wave of tears coming over her at the sight. "I....I had all my money in there.." she didn't have a lot, but she'd been trying her best to save up during the year she'd lived in New Eden, trying to maybe one day get herself a better place to live. And now... She sank down onto the edge of the mess of her bed, her head in her hands as she silently cried.

Charlie

Charlie's stomach twisted in anger as they walked through her small apartment. Everything she owned was broken or disrupted in some way. And when she realized all her money was gone, his heart sank for her. No doubt Ally didn't have a lot to start with, but with none now and being out of work for a few days... Charlie clenched his fist, wanting so badly to find the people responsible and beat them until they both felt better. Instead, he sank down to his knees in front of Ally, letting her cry for a moment just to get her frustration out before he gently took her hands in his. "I'll help you," Charlie said softly. "I'll help you clean up. And you can stay with me until your landlord gets the lock fixed. I'll make sure you ain't got to worry about food until you get paid." It would mean skipping physical therapy and certainly giving up his cigarettes for a while, but he'd do whatever he could to help out and he certainly wouldn't tell Ally about his short term sacrifices. Gently, Charlie ran his thumbs across her knuckles, trying to comfort her the best he could. "We'll figure it out, alright. Me and you. You ain't got to do this by yourself no more, you understand?"

Ally

Ally's shoulders shook as she cried, her head spinning. What the hell was she going to do? She had no money to repair things, to replace what she'd lost. She'd need a new window screen, a new door.. how was she even supposed to stay here now? Not to mention her brushes and pencils and charcoals were ruined. She'd never get to replace her artwork... She was vaguely aware of Charlie in front of her and a part of her wanted to push him away. They'd barely known each other a few weeks and now he was seeing her like this.. It was all just....too much. But then he was touching her, pulling her hands away from her face. At first she ducked her head down, not wanting him to see her like this--no one saw her like this-- but as he spoke she looked up, her face red and splotchy, tear-streaked, and she shook her head. "I...I can't ask you to do that.." she said weakly, sniffling. Times were hard enough for them, probably even more so now with the riots and looting. Food and money was going to be difficult for even the Dominants to come across. For switches though... She glanced down at her hands as he ran his thumb along her knuckles, the gentleness of it reminding her of this morning, of the few moments of happiness and bliss they had together while ignoring the rest of the world. She wanted him in her life. She wanted this...whatever this was. She just had to let herself be open to it. Be open to him. "I...I don't know what I'm gonna do.."

Charlie

"You ain't askin' me," Charlie assured her, bringing her hand to his mouth so he could press a kiss to her knuckles. "I'm offerin'. And all you got to do is say yes." She couldn't stay here - she didn't even have a door. It wasn't like she could afford a hotel room until all the necessary repairs were done and he doubted any shelters would be very welcoming of her. It made sense for her to stay with him, just until things got settled. "Well, first, we're gonna try to clean some of this mess up, alright?" Charlie reached up to cup her small face with his hand, gently swiping his thumb across her cheek to wipe away some of the tears. "And then, we're gonna pack a bag for you with your clothes and anything that's valuable to you. We're gonna try to find a place to get some food, then we're gonna go back to my place." Charlie had lived through his share of crises. The only thing to do was put a plan together. "You need to try to call your landlord, let 'em know you got to get a new door and all that."

Ally

Ally opened her mouth to speak but then closed it, hesitating. She wasn't good at accepting help, at taking favors. She learned a long time ago she could only really depend on herself after all... She looked around at her place again. It looked like a hurricane had blown through. And the thought of being here alone, without even a door sent a shudder through her. And what if she'd been here last night? What would they've done to her? She swallowed, closing her eyes for a second as she forced those thoughts away. "Wh..What about your roommates?" She closed her eyes again when he reached up to wipe away her tears, relishing in the touch for a few long moments. He was right and she knew it. She was scared to start depending on someone...but she was even more scared to go through all this alone. She opened her eyes then, looking to his before finally nodding in agreement to everything.

Charlie

"They'll be fine. Given the circumstances, they ain't gonna mind." He knew Vienna wouldn't at least. The other two he didn't concern himself with. Besides, aside from using the bathroom and the kitchen, he didn't think Ally would be venturing too far out of his room for much anyway. His roommates wouldn't even be bothered by her. Charlie leaned up, gently brushing his lips to hers after she gave him a nod. "Alright then... we'll start right here." Slowly, he stood up and pressed a final kiss to her forehead before he began getting to work. He picked up some of the turned over pieces of furniture and set them up right and gathered some of the clothes scattered across the floor.

Ally

Just the same, she was still going to feel like a freeloader. If she was going to do this she'd just..have to stick to Charlie's room for as much time as possible--if she was allowed to stay there? Maybe now he'd finally cave and let her take the couch. The little kiss came as a surprise but she wasn't mad about it- if anything it loosened up that knot in  her belly just the tiniest bit. She watched him for a moment, silent as he just started righting furniture before she took in a long, slow breath and got to work. She piled up the torn pieces of paper, her artwork now nothing but shreds and she swallowed, just tossing it into the trash. She got bigger trash bags too, just throwing things away, not wanting to think too much on it as she picked up broken pencils, chunks of wood from her easel, shards of ceramic or glass. She helped pick her clothes up too, pausing only long enough to grab an old dufflebag she had to start putting some things away in there instead to take with her.  All in all it took over an hour to clean up, more tears shed as she looked at how full the trash bags were as compared to how empty her space was, desolate of any color from her art.  "I'll go toss this stuff. Just um...go to the fridge, take out anything we can take....food's not gonna be easy to come by for the next few days I don't think.."

Charlie

Between the two of them, they made quick work of getting the space righted. Even Charlie noted just how empty it felt afterward, devoid of any kind of personality or anything that might make it feel like a home. He now appreciated the odd little knick-knacks his roommates had decorated the apartment with. Charlie nodded. "Alright... I'll bring what I can." As Ally took the garbage bags out, he opened her fridge, glad to see the burglars hadn't taken everything of hers. What food he could find he carefully packed into another duffle bag of hers. She was right - food would be hard to come by and the less they were out in public for the next few days, the better. There wasn't much to pack, but it was more than he had at his place. He looked over when she returned and felt his heart break at the look on her face. "You'll be alright, darlin'," he drawled. "I promise. You'll make it through this."

Ally

Walking down the hall to the garbage shoot Ally noticed others on her floor were in the same boat she was. Her building was mostly switches after all...she should've known it'd be a target. She just hoped others weren't home either, that they'd gone to the safety of being with others like she had. She quickly made her way back to her place, sighing as she looked around. It was still messy, but nowhere near as chaotic as it'd been before. As Charlie raided the kitchen she went to the bathroom, glad at least the mirrors weren't broken or anything as she packed away her soaps and toothbrush and other things to take, just dropping it all into a plastic bag before going back to Charlie. When he looked at her and spoke she just bit her lip and nodded, deciding to just give into it a bit and moved to him. She was always strong, shouldering everything alone in her life. But right now...she at least had someone to help her out. Someone she could depend on. She leaned into him, hiding her face into his chest for a moment. "I...I don't think I could do this alone." It was scary to admit even to herself, let alone out loud. "If...if it hadn't been for you.....if I woulda been here last night.."

Charlie

Charlie immediately took Ally into his arms, leaning down to press a kiss to the top of her head. Slowly, he ran his hand up and down her back to soothe her. "Hey, everything happens for a reason, right? You're alright. And you ain't got to do this alone. I'll help you every step of the way, I promise..." His hand slid up and gently ran through her hair, happy to hold her tight and try to give her a little bit of comfort. Charlie wasn't sure what he'd do in her shoes - probably be just as scared as she was. For now, he'd just hold Ally close and help her in any way he could. "You'll be alright," he repeated again, for her. "I'll help you through this."

Ally

It was still so overwhelmingly new to be touched like this, to be held in someone's arms, to feel safe, protected...wanted. She just wished it wasn't all marred with the reality of everything else. Ally wrapped her own arms around him for a moment, just hugging onto him, keeping her eyes closed as she focused on the hand in her hair, the thrumming of his heart under her ear. It helped calm her a little bit. "Thank you." it was all she could really say. Finally after a minute or so she lifted her head enough to look up at him, her eyes meeting his. "Alright..let's....let's get out of here."

Charlie

"You're welcome," Charlie said simply. When Ally looked up at him, seemingly ready to go, he nodded and slowly let go of his hold on her. He grabbed the two duffle bags and shouldered them. "Yeah, let's... I uh, I texted Vienna, just ran things by her. She's pretty beat up after everything but said she wants to meet you. She's fine with you staying." He wanted Ally to feel welcome, to know it really was alright for her to stay for a couple of days to get things sorted. "So you'll have that to look forward to," Charlie said wryly, giving her a grin. "Just don't get upset if you see her face - she got it pretty bad but she's alright, been to a doc and everything already."

Ally

Ally at least wanted to help carry her own bags, but she didn't think Charlie was going to budge on it so she didn't argue and instead just carried the plastic bag with her bathroom things. She took one last look around, feeling almost like she was abandoning the place and she sighed, frowning to herself as she just turned and headed to the doorway. "Okay that's good at least." At least sh wasn't going to be barging in. She frowned at the thought of the girl being beat up though,  the reality of everything settling in her again. She wasn't the only one going though this--not by a long shot. People had it way, way worse, with places completely destroyed, places on fire. People had their businesses wrecked, no cars. People were in the hospital. People were dead.  Sure she didn't have any money, and her own home no longer felt safe but...she was safe. And she had a place to go, she had someone to help her through it. She was a lot better off than so many others. She managed to wrench the door somewhat into the frame to give the perception that it was closed, figuring it'd have to do for now, and she nodded to herself before reaching over for her hand, tangling her fingers through his, "Let's go home."

Charlie

Home. Charlie had never really thought of his apartment as a home before. It was old, it always had an off smell, and besides Vienna he didn't care for his roommates. He saw his apartment as a place to store his few belongings and crash - nothing more. But helping Ally through this gave him a new appreciation for the place. The first thing Charlie smelled were pizza rolls, still sitting out on the counter for Ally and him. Vienna wasn't out at the moment, however, so he assumed she'd gone back to bed to rest. She'd come out when she was ready. He brought Ally's bag of food to the kitchen, getting to work putting the few perishables away. "Vienna left us some pizza rolls," he told her, nodding to the few left out on the baking sheet. "If you're hungry, you should eat some. I, uh, told her it'd be alright for us to share the food you brought if it's alright, so she's alright to share with you too..."

Ally

The walk back to Charlie's place was quicker than the walk to hers. She just wanted to get out of the streets, get back to the safety of his apartment. No one could touch them there. It wasn't until they were inside once again and she heard the defining click of the lock that she felt like she could at least breathe once again. Despite everything, something as simple as some food left out made a tiny little smile tug on her lips. It was thoughtful. It was something she wasn't used to. Ally nodded as he spoke, putting the bags down for now on the table til she could put them all away and she followed into the kitchen, immediately nodding, "Of course it's okay. That's why I said to bring it. I....if I'm staying here, I'm not going to freeload. Once the diner opens up again I'll see about bringing food here, and I...I can split my paycheck. Pay back for the water I'll use or electricity or..whatever." it was the absolute least she felt she could do. While Charlie put her food away she got out a plate and cut the rolls up a bit, moving to lean against the counter beside him and she gave him a little nudge, holding one of the pieces up to his mouth, "You've done enough. You need to eat something, Relax a bit."

Charlie

"Don't worry about it," Charlie reassured her. Maybe he should talk to his roommate's first, but it seemed a bit too much to ask for her to pay for things like water and electricity considering how little she'd use. He leaned against the counter, giving her a little grin as she held the pizza roll to his mouth. Charlie shook his head. "I'm fine. I ain't hungry." And he wasn't. Whenever he was stressed or not feeling it, he tended to not want to eat. Today was one of those days. "I could use a smoke though. You, uh, want to join me?" He'd have to carefully savor and enjoy the last of his cigarettes - in order to get through the next couple weeks, he'd have to give them up.

Ally

“Oh I’m definitely gonna worry about it.” Ally shot back but she gave him a little smile as she said it. There was no way she was staying here utterly for free. She just...couldn’t do it. She rolled her eyes then, letting out a breath as she dropped it down. “I....yeah, me neither. But I don’t want her to think it’s going to waste either..” maybe she could put it away in the oven til later, reheat it for lunch or something. At the offer she nodded. “I’m not really up for smoking right now, but I’ll go with you. Let me just put the food back in the oven for later.” She didn’t smoke as heavily as she did back in Washington, but she knew he liked to, so she wouldn’t waste one of his- knowing how expensive they were. “I need to call my landlord too, see how long it’ll take for..everything.”

Charlie

"We can eat it later then," Charlie suggested, shrugging his shoulders. There was always a later when his hunger would actually return. "Alright, you can call 'em while we're sitting outside. C'mon..." Charlie picked up her bag and took it back to his room, setting it down on the side of the bed where she'd slept the night before. He opened his window which led out to a fire escape - one with exceptionally less impressive views. Still, he grabbed his pack of smokes and slid out to the platform, ready for his cigarette. It'd been a long couple of days. Charlie lit up while Ally called her landlord and idly listened, careful to blow his smoke away from her. He wasn't sure what they were doing, if this would turn out to be a casual thing - but he liked her. He liked being around her. And he was hopeful he didn't have to be so damn lonely anymore.

Ally

Ally nodded, wrapping the food back up and putting it back into the oven for later before heading to his room with him. She noticed he put her bag on the side she'd slept on, feeling those butterflies perk up a bit at the thought that that would serve as her side (besides, it would be more comfortable than the couch..). She followed him out the window, glancing around to make sure they were safe before settling in beside him. She spoke on the phone as he smoked, the landlord doing the bare minimum and saying a temporary door would be placed in 'today or tomorrow' and a permanent fix would take about a week, same with the window screen. It was better than nothing. With a sigh she hung up the phone and looked out to the city.  She was still trying to wrap her head around everything that'd happened. The chaos, the destruction...the death. New Eden wasn't safe. But right here, right now? She was. She looked up at Charlie, giving him a little smile before moving a bit closer, resting her head against his arm. She didn't know what this was...they certainly weren't just friends anymore but....it didn't matter. Right now he was comfort and safety. Right now, he was kind of all she needed. And that was enough for now. end

[jocelynships]

I’ve been thinking a lot about how I got into Marvel and how at first it was just a silly little obsession and how it turned into something that ended up meaning so much to me.

So, I apologize for this sounding so sappy and for how long (it’s really long and I apologize greatly) and emotional this gets, but here:

Warning: Talk of past mental abuse and thoughts of self-harm/suicide

So here’s the funny thing, when I was between the ages of 10-13 I wanted absolutely NOTHING to do with Marvel. Everyone was talking about it and I will admit I was a bratty kid and if something was popular I had to Hate It™️. I’ve grown from that mindset and I’m SO glad I did. But anyways, not the point of the story.

When I was a little kid I watched the first Spider-Man movie with Tobey Maguire and Fantastic 4. I watched a lot of Spider-Man cartoons too. I can’t remember if I ever watched X-Men or not, but I remember seeing them in a few Spider-Man episodes. My dad liked Marvel and he’d play the movies (this was all pre MCU I should mention) and I think I’d watch bits and pieces of them while I played with whatever toys I had in my parent’s bedroom or living room (when I was a kid if my dad was home I HAD to be around him). So I had a VAGUE understanding of superheroes and who they were. I’m certain I could have named a few of them when I was younger, I just didn’t necessarily care.

So Avengers came out when I was finishing up 8th grade, and all my classmates were talking about it, but it annoyed me greatly. My best friend, Rebecca, had seen it already, and was freaking out about it with some of our other old friends. I made a comment like “is it really good or are you guys just trying to be cool like everyone else?”

And Rebecca goes, “Jocelyn, you really need to see it. I think you’d actually like it.”

“Superheroes are so overrated!”

“At least watch the trailer!”

So Rebecca pulled up the trailer on her iPod Touch (god I feel old just saying that), sat me down at one of the benches by the basketball court our tiny private school had, and I watched the trailer. I was kinda interested, but not totally sold. I decided the guys were hot, and if I would go if asked.

Then when I got home from school, I was looking for something to watch like most kids were. Nothing was on, but Disney XD was playing some Marvel cartoons and out of simple curiosity and not really liking anything else that was being played, I turned it on. And holy shit I ended up getting hooked.

So a few days later after watching these cartoons I suggest seeing Avengers to my dad. He gets this look on his face like, “who the hell are you and what did you do to my daughter because she hates superheroes?” He asks me if I’m a Marvel fan now and I mentioned the cartoons, so he went and rented the movies leading up to the Avengers, and I wasn’t actually expecting to like anything, I just wanted to see it because I thought the guys were hot.

So I ended up really enjoying the movies, and my dad and I started seeing the other MCU films that came out. I told myself I was only interested in the Avengers and Spider-Man really (the Amazing Spider-Man came out the same year as the Avengers and my dad took me to see it). I told myself didn’t really care about any of the other hero teams.

BUT THEN I GET INTRODUCED TO THIS REALLY COOL FACEBOOK MARVEL GAME! They sadly don’t have it anymore which in my opinion is BULLSHIT, but it was called Avengers Alliance and they had a shit ton of characters in it. My goal was to get them all but I never did bc it got shut down (listen I would kill to have it brought back okay THEY HAD A BUNCH OF X-MEN CHARACTERS) But basically I saw all these characters I had no idea existed and me being me, my mind went “I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING ABOUT THEM”! I really don’t know everything about them and I’m still discovering characters but that’s okay!! The Marvel universe is HUGE and I love learning new stuff about it!! But anyways back to my original point!! I remembered I really liked the Fantastic 4 when I was younger so I started watching the original two movies again (I haven’t seen the 2015 remake nor do I plan to ever). Then I saw we had the first two X-Men films, okay lets watch those. Oh, who’s Daredevil and the other Defenders? They seem cool!! Ghost Rider? Hell yeah, a skeleton on fire how cool is that?! Agents of SHIELD? I loved Phil Coulson, I had to watch it! Hey, the Guardians of the Galaxy are really cool too! I know nothing about Doctor Strange but he was in some Spider-Man cartoons and he seemed awesome! Blade, a vampire that doesn’t sparkle? SIGN ME UP!

Basically from the time I was 14-17, I was just basically running down an aisle at a grocery store picking out characters I thought looked cool. I also learned a lot about the characters from some mobile games I downloaded bc hey, I like games.

But at the same time as I was going through everything, I started developing some extreme anxiety and depression problems. I didn’t exactly realize it WAS anxiety and depression, I just thought I was extremely sensitive and did a bunch of shit wrong, so I assumed I was just a screw up whenever my mother yelled at me for getting a B in class or blamed me for her being late to work when I was ready to go and she was just getting in the shower. It wasn’t until my senior year did I realize something was wrong with the way she was treating me and the way I was feeling. But again, I brushed it off as nothing.

I went through my senior year feeling anxious and depressed a lot. But I was a SENIOR! I was almost done with high school! I had a great group of friends and we’d hang out on the weekends and go off campus for lunch to the Taco Bell down the road! Things couldn’t be bad!

But tensions were rising high at home. I was sort of oblivious to a lot of it and to be honest, I’m a little upset with myself for not noticing it sooner. My parents were fighting a lot, and halfway through my senior year of high school, my sister and niece had to move in with us because her ex husband was an alcoholic and was getting abusive. (She ended up going back for about another year, but left permanently the second time she moved in with us) And needless to say things were really rough since there was now five people in a two bedroom apartment and my sister and my niece stayed in my room with me. Which was difficult since my niece was 4/5 at the time and had quite the temper, and I was also her favorite person, yet I was occupied with school work.

My anxiety and depression got worse, and it got to the point where I was having meltdowns in class and would have to leave school early or just stay home. After a month or two and a HUGE fight between pretty much everyone (except me, they only stopped when I had a massive panic attack), my sister moved back.

And things were slightly okay again. During that break I got reintroduced to X-Men through a couple different things: my best friend, @rosyinlove, X-Men Apocalypse was coming out, and my brother gave me his old Xbox 360 and the game Marvel Ultimate Alliance. I’ve seen the first two movies at this point and I was already kinda curious about them, but wasn’t until that year did I realize “hey these guys are kinda cool!” So I played as them in Ultimate Alliance just because they were the most fun to play. And while he sadly wasn’t a playable character, Nightcrawler was a character and you had to rescue him in a quest (or kill him and save Jean instead, I had a dilemma over the very idea of killing him and this was BEFORE I started shipping with him!) and he fascinated me. IDK if it was my brain just liking him as a character or going “WHOO BOY HE’S HOT”, but my interest in him was growing and I was kinda sad he wasn’t a playable character!

And with Apocalypse coming out the day after I graduated high school, I decided I had to see it, so I impulsively bought the other movies and well... the rest is history. I started watching the cartoons and while I didn’t get my hands on any comics, I read bits and pieces online.

And for some reason, the X-Men just spoke out to me in a way I can’t explain. I loved all the other heroes I came across, but there was something about the team of mutants that really pulled me in. Maybe because I related to the fact of being outcast? But in any case, I was drawn to them and I latched onto them and just didn’t let go. Even when 70s and 80s pop culture was the main thing on my mind in 2017, I still had the X-Men in the back of my mind and I thought “oh hey, this song reminds me of the X-Men”, “Kurt would like this song”, or “omg this movie would be a cute AU for me and Kurt!”

But anyways, the summer of 2016 was kind of rough. My mother was getting onto me for every single little thing and even yelled at me in front of my friends once for asking her to bring some some soda after she OFFERED to get us some. My friends pulled me aside and said, “hey, that’s not normal”. And I was in a really bad place. I loved my mother, but I felt awful being around her. I felt like I had to walk on eggshells around her. If I said the wrong thing I’d be punished. I was afraid of her.

So I noticed whenever I got anxious or depressed I would turn to the X-Men movies and cartoons and I’d feel a little better. Then I started writing dumb little stories and made silly doodles of me hanging out with them. It was something that was fun and made me calm down when I was getting anxious.

Then August of 2016 came around.

I came home from spending the night at a friend’s house, and I was feeling really tired so when my dad asked for me to sit down and talk to him about something, I tried brushing him off because I just wanted to shower and go to sleep.

But he said, “it’s really serious” and whenever someone says that my anxiety shoots through the roof and I think of the worst case scenario, such as someone was dying or was dead. So I sat down with him and I’m expecting him to tell me someone was dead, but he just goes:

“Your mother and I are splitting up.”

Basically my world came crashing down at that point.

My mother started getting more and more irritable and began yelling and screaming at me over the smallest things. And she was convinced I was going to stay with her and she talked to me about all her plans she had for us, but I was going to move out with my dad. But I didn’t want to tell her because I was terrified of how she was going to respond (she lashed out when things didn’t go her way), and I said, “I still haven’t made up my mind on who I’m going with”. That still caused her to lash out.

So she screamed at me and told me things like “I was leaving her to die” or “I was a horrible daughter for abandoning her”. And from that she just lashed out over everything. Not to mention my sister and my niece moved back in that September.

So my mother was constantly fighting with my dad, berating me, and my sister and my niece never gave me any alone time despite being in my first semester of college. I had very little time to work on homework and would stay at school for longer than I needed to be there just to work on homework without my sister and my niece bothering me. And I also got stuck watching my niece quite a bit because my sister was running off with a guy she had just met. And I get that she was going through a really rough divorce as well and really liked this dude, but it happened every night. I needed an escape from it all.

So I started binge watching Marvel movies and cartoons every chance I got. Mainly X-Men. I fantasized often about Kurt bamfing himself and the X-Men into my apartment, sternly telling my family I was going with them and they couldn’t stop them. I wrote and drew more and more of my silly self insert stuff because it was a way to forget about all the bullshit that was going on at home.

Eventually things just got worse as the time for my dad and I to move out got closer, and my mother would start up fights with my dad just about every night. And she did this when I was in the next room and could hear everything. She also got physical with him and while my dad could have easily defended himself and fight back, he didn’t because she was trying to get him fucking arrested.

So I was having difficulties dealing with their constant fighting and my mother trying to pull me into the middle of the drama. My dad told her to keep me out of it since none of it had to do with me. Needless to say she kept pulling me into the middle of things and tried to get me to side with her and would scream her head off if I didn’t want to talk about it. I got called selfish for having anxiety and depression, and she threatened to hit me on multiple occasions. She never did, but holy shit I got so scared every time she held her hand up like she was going to smack me across the face. I showed up to class crying quite often and when my classmates asked what was wrong I’d brush it off and tell them it was nothing. 

And as time went on I had falling outs with everyone on my mother’s side of the family and both of my siblings (I have made up with them separately, but things are tense between them still because they don’t like each other’s spouses and it stresses me out because they shit talk each other to me and I have to act like I’m on their side), and my dad and I were struggling and I felt like a huge burden on him. Needless to say it got to the point where I felt like I was doing something wrong, that everyone would be better off without me, and I wanted to end it all.

I actually did go to grab a knife once when no one was home bc I was having urges to hurt myself, but the instant I grabbed the knife a little voice in my mind just went into panic mode and screamed, “Captain America wouldn’t want you to hurt yourself!”

And then that voice kept listing off as many heroes as it could, and when I started thinking about the X-Men not wanting me to hurt myself, I just dropped the knife into the sink and had a breakdown.

And still to this day when I do get those thoughts I always think about how a certain fuzzy elf wouldn’t want me to hurt or kill myself. I haven’t cut (I have participated in other self destructive behaviors in the past I don’t wish to discuss, but I’m fighting it), and honestly it’s because I don’t want to worry the X-Men.

They may not be real, and I’m not sure they would really care about me if they were, but still the idea of having a group of people who also come from fucked up families and are outcast from society acting like a family to each other really helps me get through all of this.

I just keep telling myself that if all these superheroes could go through hell and back, then so could I. Sure, I’m not fighting villains hellbent on taking over the world or struggling with having superpowers I can’t control, but still it’s inspiring to see them continue on despite their hardships. If they can do it, then why can’t I?

And the X-Men have really helped me through that. Like I said, they aren’t real, but they are extremely relatable characters. Especially Kurt. I’ve been outcast before and while I do have my group of close friends, I still feel like I don’t belong. He’s been outcast and shunned by society for his appearance. While both of Kurt’s parents are awful and my mother didn’t try to kill me (to be honest I was afraid she was going to snap and kill my dad a couple times), we both have kinda fucked up familes. But despite all of this we still try to see the good in others and do good for people. And I want to help him through his hardships and have him know he can always come to me for comfort.

When I started the Night Roses and the Jocelyn and the X-Men stuff, a lot of it was coping. I wanted to be rescued by Kurt and the X-Men, and I wanted to help them overcome their issues. A lot of the Night Roses relationship is being each other’s support system. The idea of not only having Kurt comfort me, but me comforting him helps me so much. It gives me something to live for. When I was going to therapy, I told my therapist about it and she said it was a great coping mechanism and a way for me to practice self love and acceptance.

And while he’s just a comic book character, I sincerely hope I can find someone just like Kurt in real life one day. He means so much to me, and I hope whoever I get with in the future will understand that.

I apologize for this being so long, but really, Marvel means the absolute would to me, and it’s really hard to explain to people why and I often get written off as an obsessive nerd who has no grasp on reality. But I know how I feel and I know the people who matter understand how important Marvel is to me. Honestly, I don’t know where I’d be without Marvel. I probably wouldn’t be here. I’m still struggling with a lot of issues, but I know I can get through it thanks to the X-Men and the other superheroes of Marvel. ❤️

[marksburyscripts]

Episode 13-- Less Than a Theory

Google Doc

Content Warnings: -Cancer -Talk of potential murder of a parent -Implied suicidal ideology

[Pre-episode announcement]

Hey, everyone! Victor Stark here with just a couple quick announcements. First off: We are approaching the end of The Marksbury Incident season one! The season finale will be episode fifteen, which is currently expected to release on May 8th. After that, we will be taking a brief hiatus as we prepare for season two and give the cast a well-deserved break. 

“But Victor!” You may be thinking. “How am I supposed to get my fix of Frankenstein retellings while Marksbury is on a break?” I’ve got good news and bad news. The bad news is I don’t know. That’s on you. But the good news is it won’t always have to be! Orbituary is an upcoming podcast about the crew of the U.S.S Prometheus. It’s Frankenstein in space! What could be better than that? The fact that they’re casting, that’s what! And even better than that, they’re especially looking for actors of color, and accents not often heard in podcasts.You can learn more @OrbituaryPod on Twitter.

That’s all from me for today, and another huge thank you to everyone who’s stuck with us throughout this. We all appreciate it more than I could possibly say.

And keep an eye out. There are plenty more stories to tell.

--

[The cemetery. Night. There is the sound of a phone ringing, and it goes to Evelynn’s voicemail]

EVELYNN

Hey, it’s Evelynn! I can’t come to the phone--

VICTOR

...Nope. [He sighs and hangs up] Stupid…. [Beat.] Nothing good ever comes of this, I-- I don’t know why I keep doing it. “Go for a walk, Victor, it’ll be good for you. Who cares if it’s the middle of the night, it’ll be fine.” But you know, facing fears and everything. And I'm not exactly supposed to be here after dark. If that groundskeeper sees me, he might just have a heart attack. I haven’t seen him since the day he told me about that woman, though, so maybe he quit? [Beat.] And what's a trespassing charge after everything I've been through, right? [He laughs, but it fades] Plus, I… I need to think. 

...It wasn't the cancer that killed you, was it, mom? I know that now. She did. You knew something, and she made sure that no one else found out. And now I’m here. I’m finding out. That’s gotta be the connection, right? Something happened the night I…. [A breath] You know. Something happened, and she… found me. Latched on. And now she knows that I know something. It all makes sense, it’s just the details now. 

VICTOR (Cont.)

...Do I want the details? I told Christine that time that I’m done looking into things that people shouldn’t know about. That was just to try and get her to stop worrying about it in case things got dangerous. And that clearly didn’t work. She’s resilient, that’s for sure. I’ve… contacted Professor Crane. He... hasn’t gotten back to me. Maybe he just hasn’t checked his email, but I know that’s unlikely. He obviously doesn’t want to get involved. Can’t say I blame him.

I… don’t have much to go off of. It’s difficult. I can get a few words from your journal, but it’s almost impossible to get anything accurate because of the different languages. Certain words meaning different things only within certain contexts. Even translation programs are falling short. Heck, I can’t even figure out what languages some of the words are. But… that was probably the point. [Sigh] ...I can get the gist of it, though. You found out about… something. Something dangerous, something that… I think you were trying to stop. Is that right? 

VICTOR (Cont.)

[Laughs] ...This is way above my pay grade. At this point, I’m-- I’m just talkin’ in circles. “Mom knew something, I don’t know anything.” How many different ways can I say it? Don’t expect any novels from me. [He laughs again] I’d lay out the facts and try to make some deductions, but… what facts do I even have? Next to nothing. No. No, not even next to nothing. I have nothing. I-- I almost want to find out if I can… summon her or something, just to get some information. But there’s no guarantee she would actually tell me anything. And even if she did, it’s no use to me if I’m dead. 

[There is a long, contemplative silence]

VICTOR (Cont.)

...Maybe I should just leave. Get a nice little cabin in the middle of nowhere and let everyone go about their lives without any of… this. Let the world forget that Victor Frankenstein ever existed. [He scoffs] There was a time when being forgotten was one of my biggest fears, remember? When I only ever wanted to be someone. My name in the most prestigious textbooks and research papers for years to come. You told me that anything was possible with hard work and dedication. So, what's the hard work I need to make sure that I slip into obscurity? 

VICTOR (Cont.)

I don't know what I'm supposed to do. I mean, I am completely at a loss. Should I even be doing anything? Wouldn't it just be easier to accept that this is how it is, and roll with the punches? ...No. No, I can't do that. As much as I want to, I'm in this now. No turning back. And I'm more lost than I've ever been. I don’t--

[There is the sound of a twig snapping in the distance. Victor freezes, but after a few second of silence, he decides that it was nothing and continues]

VICTOR (Cont.)

God, look at me. Jumping at shadows. It-- it’s just sad at this point. If this is how I am with the stupid amount of anxiety meds I’m on, can’t imagine what I’d be like if I didn’t have them. I’d probably be curled up in a corner somewhere just waiting for something to come and finish me off.

[There is the sound of a zipper as Victor rummages through his bag. He pulls out a lighter and cigarettes, and we hear him light one]

VICTOR (Cont.)

...Yeah. I smoke now. What’re you gonna do, ground me? After everything I’ve been dealing with, I think I deserve this much, if it helps me calm down even a little bit. Christine and Henry have been on me about it, though, so I haven’t been going through as many lately. Just last week, Henry flushed the only one I had left down the toilet. I wanted to be mad, but y’know, I can’t really blame him. He’s just trying to help. Both of them are. With everything. And as much as I appreciate it, because believe me, I do… we all know that they’re just as clueless as I am. 

VICTOR (Cont.)

...I need you, mom. I need you to tell me my next step. I-- I have no idea, I-- I have people who need me to figure this out. Henry and Christine, whether they'll admit it or not, we all know that it's up to me. Henry's already seen firsthand what can happen if things go too far, and if I don't sort this all out, if I don't stop it, who's to say it won't be even worse? They’re all I have, I can’t lose them. I can't let that happen, mom. I won't be able to take it. [About to cry] I…. I can't be alone again. 

VICTOR (Cont.)

[A deep breath as he calms down]

Right. Anyway. [A short, sad laugh] I uh-- I've been trying to focus on work. Which is still terrible. But I've been so out of it lately, I need to make sure I don't get fired. Plus all the time I've missed just because I couldn't bring myself to go…. Basically, I'm on thin ice. Everyone's pretty understanding, they know I've been going through a rough time. But still, they can only excuse so much. I feel like I’m constantly walking on eggshells on that front. Like one mistake could be the nail in the coffin. Like I need any more stress in my life, right? [Laughs] I mean, I’m sure if worse came to worse, Henry’s dad would let me work for him for a bit, but I feel like I’d be even worse at that than I am at retail. I don’t even drive my own car if I can help it, forget about fixing them. And I like Henry’s family, I wouldn’t wanna risk accidentally blowing up their main source of income. And of course, there’s the fact that I’m the reason their son was in a coma for almost a year, so uh, if they ever found that out, they might be a little upset.

VICTOR (Cont.)

...I’m scared, mom. I’m scared, and I-- I just wish you were here to tell me that it’s gonna be okay. ...God, I sound like a child. But it’s true. I’m not cut out for this. Give me figures and numbers, I’ll work any problem out like it’s nothing. But this is… unknown territory. Where do I even begin? Where did you begin? How did you even get involved in-- in any of this? Did you seek it out? Or were you a victim of circumstance, just like me?

VICTOR (Cont.)

I’ve come to accept that there are a lot of things I don’t understand in the world. I thought I’d solved life’s greatest mystery. But as it turns out, all I did was unlock the door to a labyrinth of puzzles the likes of which mankind had never dared try to unravel. There’s so much more… to everything than I ever imagined. And I hate it. I hate not knowing how any of this works, not knowing the rules these things follow. People vanishing into thin air, women with no bodies…. I’ve tried to research, but there’s nothing credible. I don’t know a thing. ...Well, I guess that’s not completely true. I know that whatever’s going on, whatever you started, mom… I’m gonna finish it.

ERIK

Always so sure of yourself, aren’t you, Creator?

[Victor takes a sharp, frightened inhale, and the recording ends]

NEXT EPISODE➝

[svubloods]

Imagine your biological father, Rafael Barba, filing for full legal custody of you (TPELB PART FIVE)

(A/N: I read up on actual case custody law in the state of New York and I have simplified the process for the purposes of the story. So I apologize to any experts or anyone who picks up on the discrepancies. I wanted to keep the story flowing. Beside from that I hope you enjoy this) 

Masterlist with all the Parts HERE

Imagine your biological father, Rafael Barba, filing for full legal custody of you

“What do you mean?” You asked, looking up at your Grandpa.

“Well,” He began, taking a deep breath as he tried to mask the extent of his worry, “It means that as soon as the results proved that he was, in fact, your father and he was granted his Order of Affiliation he and his attorney filed for full legal custody of you which therefore means that he is looking for the removal as my rights of your legal guardian,”

“What?” You panicked, looking away, “Can he do that?”

“He can now, he’s officially your Father by law and not just biologically,” He answered.

“But it just doesn’t make sense,” You stated, “And he may he may be all of those things but he isn’t my Dad,”

“I know you’re upset…” He began once again.

“I will be upset,” You corrected, “But right now I’m just angry. Who does he think he is? He’s a stranger to me. A couple of weeks of conversations suddenly justifies to him to be my Dad? He doesn’t even know me! Now he wants to take me away from the only family I’ve ever had. Wait, I am not going to live with you anymore?”

“I don’t know,” He admitted.

“But I don’t want to leave you, Grandpa,” You whispered, tears welling in your eyes.

“I’m going to try my hardest to make sure he doesn’t,” He promised, cupping your face in his hands and wiping your tears as they spilled down your cheeks, “He may fight for you but I’m going to fight harder. I love you so much, Y/N.”

“I love you too, Grandpa,” You whispered before burying yourself into his bear hug, crying silently into his chest.

Over the next few weeks, it was all you could think about. Your family was all so upset, they’d hug you tighter and longer. They were walking on eggshells, trying to make it as normal as possible for you. Any conversations about what was going on were hushed and out of your per view. Your Grandpa always gave you the major updates, not wanting you to be out of the loop.

Your Aunt Erin had enlisted one of her law school friends who was very respectable family law attorney to represent your Grandpa. As both sides had DA’s on them with connections to the court system, the trial was moving along quicker than usual, as apparently the DA didn’t want it getting out that his Senior DA and one of his ADA’s were feuding the family courts so he tried to make it all happen quickly. However, Mr. Barba and his attorney had made it clear that they weren’t willing to negotiate any sort of arrangement so apparently it was pretty clear even before the first appearance that there would be a fully fledged trial.

On the eve of the first appearance at court, your Aunt Erin sat you down and explained to you everything that was going to happen and what might possibly happen. At the first appearance, there would be no testimony or witness just discussing the facts so that things were all cleared up. She also explained that you would be appointed a Law Guardian who will mostly likely during the time between his appointment to the trial being doing some investigations into all of your lives to report back to the judge at trial. Apparently, he sole job was to represent what you wanted but because you are under 14, that meant he also had to explain what he thought was best for you in conjunction with what you wanted. More importantly, she explained that there was a possibility that you may be put into someone else's care leading up to and during the trial. But she promised it was only going to be for around a month or so and that was only if it came to it.

You knew she was playing off that part to an extent. You thought that it was pretty evident that Mr. Barba’s side wasn't going to let you stay with your Grandpa during this process based on his previous actions.

You weren’t going, you’d be at the trial but not any of the preliminary hearings. You were still going to the courthouse though but that is to meet your Law Guardian while the hearing was going on, your Aunt Erin said that you’d probably get to know them pretty well. She also warned you that by the end of it all you may not be allowed to come home.

So once again that morning you missed school to attend court. You made sure to hug everyone extra tight in case you didn’t get see them for a while. Once you arrived, you were taken to a back room, clearly tailored for children as it was filled with toys. You were left alone for a while in the room, so it was a good thing that you had brought some work from school, that you had arraigned in response to your absence, with you. After about ten minutes, you had almost finished work and a nicely dressed tall man came into the room. You only looked up briefly, to see him before continuing.

“Y/N?” He asked in an accent that clearly wasn’t from the city, most likely a Northern city like Chicago or Cleveland.

“That’s me,” You confirmed, still not looking up and finishing your problem.

“I’m Garrett Prince,” He introduced, “Your Law Guardian,”

“Hi Garret,” You replied, closing your book with a flourish as you finished and finally looking back up at him.

“What were you working on?” He inquired, as he took a seat opposite you at the table.

“Geometry,” You informed.

“Can I take a look?” He asked, gently.

“Sure,” You shrugged, sliding it over to him.

He raised his eyebrows as he caught it and flicked through it. You watched the surprise on his face as he registered the problems and also probably how he couldn’t do them himself.

“You can do this?” He asked, surprised.

You nodded.

“That’s really impressive,” He complimented, “I don’t remember doing problems this hard,”

“That’s because it’s college level,” You explained, “And I have a feeling you did Pre-Law in college,”

“You’re right,” He chuckled, “When they told me that you were a genius…”

“You didn’t think they meant an actual genius?” You offered.

“Yeah,” He smiled.

“Should we get to it?” You suggested.

“We can do whatever you want. I am your lawyer, I represent only your best interests,” He responded.

“Yeah, I did some research. I know what your job involves,” You started.

“That’s good,” He commented.

“And I also know what I can do if I don’t like you,” You continued.

“Are you referring to the fact that you can fire me?” He speculated.

“I didn’t refer to anything. You just made an assumption,” You corrected, “Plus I also know that since I’m not 14 your job is not only to represent what want but to balance that with what you think is best for me regardless of my opinion,” 


“Technically, but I have a feeling the judge will see you as an exception,” He elaborated, “Because you know, the genius thing,”

“The genius thing,” You repeated chuckling.

“I know this must be a very difficult time for you,” He started, his tone sympathetic and serious, “I read the file and honestly I can’t imagine going through this at such a young age.”

“Well, you don’t have to,” You commented, “You can watch me go through it. So what’s going to happen at the hearing?”

“Well,” He breathed, “First the judge is going to try and get the parties to reach a mutual agreement,”

“Unlikely,” You huffed, “I hear my ‘Father’ is being a real stubborn bitch. I can swear, right?”

“You can say whatever you want,” He reassured.

“That’s cool. I’m not allowed to swear at home,” You revealed, in momentary excitement.

“What’s home like for you?” He diverted delicately.

“We aren’t doing that yet,” You insisted, cutting him off, “What will happen after the judge knows they can’t agree,”

“Well, he’ll most likely try again. No judge wants to go to trial for child custody cases,” He explained, “And when that won’t work he will probably set the court date for a couple of months time. Though in your case it might be a bit quicker because of…”

“Politics?” You offered.

He nodded before continuing, “And after that’s set they will probably deal with issues like when they want my report if they want you psychologically evaluated, when you’re meeting with the judge and where you will be staying during this period until the trial.”

“Don’t you mean whom?” You corrected.

“Basically,” He confirmed and also adding, “As well as who can and can’t come see you during that time,”

“Realistically, how likely is that I’ll get to stay with my Grandpa?” You questioned, hesitantly.

“Truthfully?” He inquired.

You nodded.

“Based on what’ve read. Highly unlikely that you’re Dad…” He began.

“He isn’t my Dad,” You interrupted.

“It’s highly unlikely that Mr. Barba will let you remain with Grandpa,” He corrected, “In fact, I’ve been told that he has made claims to the court that your family may turn you against him,”

“He did a pretty good job of that himself,” You commented, shaking your head in disbelief, “In fact, I find it insulting that he would accuse my family of that. He’s the one making everything difficult we wouldn’t be here if he wasn’t doing that,”

“What do you mean?” Garret pressed, his interest peaked.

“We aren’t there yet,” You countered, realizing your slip of the tongue.

“Okay,” He accepted, “On that subject, the judge will very likely ask me where I think would be the best place to put you during this time,”

“What are you going to do?” You asked.

“What do you want me to do?” He questioned back, “I don’t want to make this even harder on you. None of us do. We want to make sure you’re happy and this doesn’t disrupt your life to much. So I’m asking you, where do you want to stay,”

“With my Grandpa,” You admitted.

“I know,” He smiled sadly, “But that may not be possible,”

“I was made aware of that,” You sighed, “So I took it upon myself to make alternative arrangements,”

“You did?” He asked, surprised.

“Must be a genius thing,” You joke lightly, “And yeah with my friend Will,”

“Y/N…” He began.

“Will is not thirteen,” You interrupted to clarify, already knowing what he was going to stay, “He’s name is Will Gorski and more importantly he is an adult around his late thirties in fact. He’s an attorney and previously a member of the NYPD. So he already has had multiple court standard background checks. He lives in the same neighborhood as my school minimizing disruption. He has a spare bedroom in his apartment which he owns by the way. He’s employed at one of the biggest law firms in the city handling most contracts. He volunteers at youth shelters and does pro bono work. He even had a dog named Dexter. He’s a Great Dane,”

“You really have thought about this,” He commented.

“I have,” You confirmed, “He is the only other person I would be okay with staying with besides my Grandpa,”

“How do you know him?” Garret asked.

“He was my Mother’s old partner before she died. It’s why he left the NYPD,” You explained.

“I’m sorry for your loss,” He empathized.

“Don’t be,” You breathed, empathised sadly not looking directly at him, “I didn’t get to know her long enough to lose her,”

“Still she was your mother,” He reminded, “That’s a traumatic loss to experience,”

“You can’t lose nor miss what you don’t remember ever having,” You admitted sadly, “I simply do not feel the same loss the other members of my family do. It’s the sad truth. One of which I rarely discuss or admit,”

“Thank you for being honest with me,” He smiled reassuringly.

“It was practical reasons not sentimental empathized, “I just want don't to make sure we didn’t do this again. It hurts,”

“I understand. Would this Will be willing to take you on?” He continued to probe, moving on swiftly.

“We talked about it,” You informed.

“You’ve seen him recently?” He asked.

“Every Friday,” You smiled, “It’s one of the highlights of my week,”

“He’s a very big part of your life isn’t he?” He inquired.

“Yeah,” You nodded, you could feel your eyes threatening to spill.

“Would he have any reason to try and influence to one side or the other?” He asked, redirecting the conversation once again.

“No,” You stated adamantly, “He doesn’t know Mr. Barba and he doesn’t really have contact with my family. It hurts them to see him, you know? Reminds them of my mother, I assume. But anyway due to that I don’t think anyone could think that he any others interests. He’s only concerned for my best interests,”

“That’s perfect,” He smiled, “I’m going to go talk to the judge and then I’ll come back and update you on everything that’s happened in court, okay?”

You nodded.

He left the room after that. You once again left alone, a court clerk did come in and offer you snacks and juice but you declined. Too on edge on eating or drink. You tried to read but your mind was too consumed. So you just breathed, trying to steady your breathing as your heart pounded for no reason but anxiety. You pulled out your phone and tapped Will’s number but he didn’t answer. You assume he must be busy or at work. Though he had promised you that he would keep his phone on for you. Your heart sped up again and you started to fidget. You didn’t understand what was happening to you.

And you didn’t have time to figure it out because the door swung open with two familiar faces behind it.

“Hey Y/N,” Will grinned at you.

“What are you doing here?” You asked, confused as you rushed over to hug him.

“What do you think?” He countered, holding you in his arms and leaning down slightly to be in straight eye contact, “I’m here for you,”

“You went to the hearing?” You questioned.

“I wasn’t going too. I was just here to be with you but I got pulled in by your Grandpa. He knew that you would want to stay with me. And when Mr. Prince hear agreed and confirmed my natural position and your wishes. The court agreed that it would be best for you to stay with me,” He explained.

“Thank God,” You breathed, hugging him again.

“You might not feel that way when you find out that you’ll be staying with me for two months,” He mentioned, still hugging you.

“Two months?” You demanded, letting go.

“It’s true,” Garret chimed in, “The dates been set for a little over two months from now,”

“Why?” You inquired.

“So I can conduct my investigation and so the psychologist can compile his report,” Garret explained.

“I have to see a psychologist?” You asked, looking at Will.

“It’s true,” He confirmed reluctantly.

“Why?” You demanded once again.

“It’s a common tactic in cases like this. The one seeking custody pays for the examination as a sign of commitment and dedication to the child,” He elaborated, “It makes them look better,”

“Dedication,” You scoffed, “What else,”

“Your meeting with the judge is the day before the trial starts and each side had been granted two supervised visits with you each week at Will’s residence,” He continued.

“Supervised?” You questioned.

“By me,” Will added.

“Okay and that’s it?” You asked, expectantly.

“Yes,”

“Can I go?” You asked.

“With Will back to his place? Yes,” He confirmed.

“You got other bags?” Will ask, picking up your satchel for you.

You nodded, “My Aunt Erin made me pack a week's worth just in case,”

“She mentioned that she would send you more,” Garret added.

“I can’t get my own stuff?” You asked.

He shook his head, “Unless you want me and each sides lawyers there as well,”

“You know I think she’s had enough for today, you know?” Will interrupt to state and ask even though he knew the answer, “I’m going to take her home and as her temporary legal guardian it’s within my right, right?”

“Of course,” Garret agreed, “But I’ll need to talk to both of you soon,”

“Here’s my card,” Will announced, handing him his card before swinging on your satchel and grabbing the handle of your suitcase, “Let’s go,”

He began walking out the door and you quickly followed. Flashing Garret a brief wave as you went.

“Thank you,” You breathed as soon as you were out of earshot.

“What did I say about thanking me?” He countered, “Let's just get out of here,”

And that’s what you did. He took you back to his apartment after that. He had already set up the guest bedroom in the likelihood that you would be placed under his care. But he assured you that you could do what ever you want to it to make it seem as homely as possible for you. It was mid-afternoon by this time. So it was too late for you to go to school. So you and Will unpacked for a while as he tried to distract you from today's events. Around six he went to go get dinner fro you favorite place while you tried to sort out your room a bit more. You finished earlier than expected and wandered through the apartment for a while. Trying to make yourself feel comfortable to no avail.

You eventually ended up sitting on one of the seats on the balcony. Looking at the view that Will paid a lot to see every morning. It’s when you saw the cities skyline like this with sun descending that you understood your Grandpa’s love for the city and realized your own. It was breathtaking and it was your home. And as long as you were in this city, you couldn’t ever feel homesick.

“Hey, what are you doing out here?” Will ask reappearing, takeout in hand as he clambered onto the balcony to see you.

“Just thinking,” You shrugged as he took a seat in the chair beside your separated only by a table.

“About what?” He probed.

“Sleeping,” You confessed, “I’m wondering how I am going to sleep tonight,”

“Still having problems sleeping?” He asked.

You nodded, looking out the view again.

“Well, we can marathon whatever show you want until you do,” He suggested.

“I have to go to school tomorrow,” You reminded.

“No, you don’t,” He corrected to which you responding by giving him a disapproving look so he elaborated, “What I mean is that I think people will understand that you need a couple days to adjust to your new situation and everything that is going on,”

“You already called my school didn’t you?” You sighed.

“Guilty,” He chuckled.

“What do have in mind?” You asked hesitantly.

“Sleeping in,” He winked.

“That actually sounds pretty nice,” You confessed.

“You know by sleeping in I mean past 8 am,” He clarified.

“You know that’s impossible, right?” You countered.

“Sounds like a challenge,” He grinned meaningly, rubbing his hands, “Anyway, I’ve got dinner,”

He handed your food and you continue to sit on the balcony as you ate. Staring out into the sunset and continuing to talk.

“Your Mom would have hated this,” He commented, before taking a bite.

“Do you think this would be happening if she were here?” You asked.

“I don’t know,” He confessed.

“Do you think she would have told me who he was by now?” You continued.

“She told me that she was going to tell you whenever you were old enough to understand,” He informed.

“So by now, she would have?” You mentioned.

“Maybe, I think it would depend on if she told him or not,” He mentioned.

“Are we all sticking with that story?” You questioned

“You don’t think it’s true?” He asked, surprised.

“I’m just suspicious of it all,” You played off.

“Do you want to talk about it?” He asked.

“Not really,” You confessed.

“So about theses visits,” He began.

“I want to see my Grandpa and the rest of them,” You stated.

“And Mr. Barba?” He continued.

“Not so much,” You stated once again.

“I only ask because he already called to arranged a meeting with you,” He explained.

“Did he now?” You breathed not really asking.

“He wants to see you,” He elaborated.

“Well, I don’t want to see the man who ripped me away from my family so,” You shrugged, aggressively.

“Have you thought about things from his perspective?” He inquired.

“I have,” You confirmed, “And while I was doing it I came up with a hundred different ways to handle this situation better. So, in conclusion, if he wants to be difficult so can I,”

“Y/N, this is may be your first ever act of teenage rebellion against your Dad,” He teased, dramatically.

You rolled your eyes and shoved him playfully.

“Don’t get angry at me you hormonal teen,” He swotted, shoveling another mouthful of food, “But seriously though you could try and give him a chance, possibly hear what he has to say.” He suggested, tactfully.

“I don’t know if I can,” You confessed.

[mysilverylining]

The Case for Vivian Stoll Being the Big Bad...

*Disclaimer:  I’m a forever Jason Dohring stan, who’s afraid if he goes back up in those fruit trees we’ll never coax him back down again.  So when it comes to Chase Graves?  There’s a bit of confirmation bias here.  I’m pulling for him to survive the next episode, preferably outside of a cell or a freezer.  I can’t believe I spent almost 3 days rewatching and writing this up.  I like to tell myself I’m being Veronica Mars, but I’m probably closer to Bo John.  

Personally, I LOVE Vivian Stoll.  There aren’t enough ruthless female villains in fiction, by far.  I was really looking forward to what lying liar, RT was planning to do with her this season, and was really disappointed when she was “killed” off.  

Her motive?:  Zombie Island won’t be ready for another 1.5 years, and she is  beyond ready for D-Day.  For somebody who could rattle-off the time span between the July 4th retreat and Wally’s murder (21 months and 21 days), I can’t see her sitting around waiting for disaster.  She peddles worst-case scenarios, and would want to take the fight to the humans before they had the opportunity to gather in numbers or call in the National Guard.   As a secondary motive, I think she was staging a coup with Fillmore Graves, a company she married into.  

Point-by-point analysis under the cut.

Helicopter Crash:  

We never see Vivian get on the helicopter.  Was her body recovered?  Burned beyond recognition?  Scattered in tiny pieces over the countryside?  We’ll never know, because Liv conveniently mutes the television during the news report.  

Harrison Graves

Vivian’s beloved “deceased” husband.  First scratched and extorted (by Blaine?).  He wanted to selflessly leave her so that she wouldn’t have to be celibate, but while he slept, she scratched herself and became a zombie.  He found his own source of brains, and a week later, he never returned home again -- implication, killed by Blaine.  Vivian vows revenge.

Some Possibilities: 

Harrison died at the hands of Blaine or another party.  Vivian died in helicopter crash.

Unsatisfying story-telling.  You shouldn’t tease a vendetta and then kill off the injured party before they can get answers or revenge.

Harrison died at the hands of Vivian.

Infinitely more interesting.  Did Harrison learn of Vivian’s plans to escalate a zombie/human war?  Did he have to be silenced?  Did he inform his thoroughly-ripped, but absent brother of his suspicions?

Who would make a better scapegoat than a formerly criminally-opportunistic amnesiac?  He can’t even defend himself.

Harrison is alive and being held prisoner somewhere.  

Vivian’s prisoner?

On Zombie Island?  

Harrison is alive and pulling the strings from behind the scenes

My #2 theory, if Vivian turns out to be dead after all.  The lack of closure on his death really stands out for me.

Additionally, why does she volunteer the information that Harrison was going to leave her.  “He didn’t want her to lead a sexless life” is valid reasoning, but a bit TMI for complete strangers.  Had Harrison drawn up divorce papers at some point?  Was she trying to get out in front of it  in case those papers surfaced?

Contracting Zombie-ism:

We only have Vivian’s word for how it went down.  A General in Equitorial Kundu (ha!) turned biological weapons on his own people and a dozen Fillmore Graves employees.  Two weeks later, later at the annual 4th of July retreat, every single Fillmore Graves employee contracts the virus.  Vivian, motherly saint that she is, cures them all with a scratch.  

Where else do we hear about biological weapons?  Oh yeah, Ravi tells us in ‘Looking for Mr. Goodbrain’ that ‘Aleutian Flu’ is code for biological weapon. And Katty Cake is doing the investigation.  

Did things go down at the retreat like Vivian said?  Or did she turn a biological weapon on her own employees as an experiment in creating super soldiers?  A pre-Max Rager Super-Max?  She owns the formula for that, by the way.   

Another theory - does she hope to infect Seattle’s humans with the bio-weapon to force a join-us-or-die situation?  

Vivian and Chase 

Vivian volunteers plenty about her husband and her employees.  Just one great, big, happy family, she says.  But she never mentions Chase even once.  

Right after the news report of the helicopter crash, Major tells us that Chase is taking the reins, and is flying back from Tripoli (via Paris, perhaps?).  

Our first glimpse of Chase is at Vivian’s wake, where he has a bit of a temper tantrum, shutting off the music and berating everybody for their revelry.  

Is Chase the enemy of fun?  Does he have a stick up his existent and totally adorable ass?  Only Liv knows the answer to that, but a few episodes later, we see him at Finnegan’s and Coons’ wake, laughing and smiling in the background while Major sings with his crew.  What makes this wake different?  #NotVivian.  

When first introduced to Liv, he sharply cuts her off when she’s attempting to express her condolences for Vivian.  But relaxes enough to give her the Dohring-smolder, once she lets the Vivian subject drop.   While Vivian seems to have a “Bring it on/Come at me” attitude towards D-Day/Chase seems much more cautious and disciplined about about discovery, doing everything possible to maintain zombie secrecy.  He worries exposure will lead to extinction (is he lacking confidence in his army?)

He immediately quizzes Liv on the Tuttle-Reed murders.  His language is specific.  He wants hard evidence to have the culprits “put away”.   

In a later scene, he  worries about the safety of the Chaos Killer victims, but he never says a peep about catching Vivian’s killer.  Which, I suppose, could be an argument that he’s her killer (revenge for killing his brother?)

Some possibilities

Before his death, did Harrison Graves confide in Chase about concerns with Vivian?

Does Chase suspect Vivian of less-than-pure motives for zombifying the Fillmore Graves employees?

Assuming Vivian is the Big Bad, is Chase the fall guy?  Once he’s killed/arrested/neutralized, will she come out of hiding with a sob story about how she tried to stop him from starting a zombie/human war, but he overpowered and imprisoned her?  

Tuttle-Reed Murders

We start the season immediately after the Max Rager massacre.  Vivian learns that Clive Babineaux, a human with connections, knows about zombies.  She has three choices.

Do nothing - Pray that Clive keeps his mouth shut, and doesn’t ruin everything.  Walk on eggshells, hoping not to make him suspicious.   

Kill him.  Make it look like an accident - Too risky when she doesn’t have anybody inside the ME’s office.  If caught, she could make some powerful enemies. 

Turn him into an ally 

We know that Vivian went with option number three.  First, she gave Clive/Liv/Major a tour of the campus.  Humanized the experience with warm stories of her love for her husband, her employees, her family. She’s caring, nurturing, and has all the PowerPoint slides to put a mind at ease.   However, Clive isn’t so easily convinced.  After the tour, while still on campus property, he expressed his uneasiness with the secrecy of a private army, “armed to the gills”.  He needed an incentive.  How sweet was it, the way he peeked through the classroom window to make sure little Wally was getting a proper education.

Of all the zombie families in all the gin joints, it just happens to be the family Clive shares an emotional connection with that wound up dead.  

A visibly sad Vivian hears the news about the Tuttle-Reed murders, but was she sad about the murders themselves, or in the necessity of sacrificing Wally and his fam?  Liv visits, and in dialogue-less montage, allies Team Z to Fillmore Graves.

Vivian fans the flames in the aftermath, selling the “humans want us dead” tale to her employees.  

Zombie Truthers 

Where are they getting all of their information?  

Assuming Vivian wants this war to begin sooner rather than later, are the Truthers her unwitting ace in the hole?

Did she post the Tuttle-Reed address on the zombie message board?  

Did she anonymously give Harley a heads-up about the tracker in his vehicle?  

Baracas 

Is utterly crucial to Fillmore Graves in a post D-Day world.  In 3x1, we learn that the Chaos Killer victims were whisked away from Max Rager to Fillmore Graves, where they’re debriefed and sold a cover story.  

Vivian hand-picks Baracas as her mayoral pawn, and will do anything to get him elected. 

While Chase Graves is understandably invested in helping Baracas win the mayoral race, the writers go to the trouble to show us they have no past association.  

Chase:  “Carey, I should probably meet this candidate we’re bankrolling”. 

Baracas: (when told Chase wants to meet him:  “Who?”  Carey Gold:  “Only the most important zombie on this planet.  Endeavor to impress.”  

Did Chase arrange the shooting of Baracas?  Possibly.  It definitely helped win the election, but I don’t get that impression.  The best response for the mastermind would be to let the shooter get away, but Chase fires WAY too many bullets up into that balcony.  He’s not trying to miss.  

I’m with Peyton when it comes to Roxanne’s murder.  Baracas doesn’t want his predilections getting out, but he doesn’t seem to be complicit.  

Weckler 

We know Vivian put security details on the Chaos Killer’s victims, including her pet politician Baracas.  Presumably, security reported back to her about Baracas’ visits to Roxanne the Dominatrix, and the peeping tom who witnessed everything.  

It’s two birds with one stone - turn Weckler’s daughter into a zombie, and then blackmail him with her safety.  “Keep your mouth shut about Baracas, and while you’re at it, we’re going to need you to steal the memory card evidence.”   Oops.  You weren’t supposed to murder her.

I’m guessing that the second lawyer’s whispered comment to Weckler had been for him to confess and halt the investigation in exchange for Tatum’s safety.  

The prison guard is almost incidental. Anybody could have paid him to kill Weckler, and anybody could have paid the second killer who killed the guard.  

Stolen Cure 

Why did Vivian learn that Major was human again?  She didn’t do anything with the information.  In fact, she was dead ten minutes later?  So why did the writers go to the trouble of showing us that scene?  

Major, right before the crash:  “She wants to talk to Ravi about how I was cured when she gets back.”  

***Sidenote.  Ravi doesn’t share a single scene with Vivian or Chase.  I’m predicting this is on purpose, and he’ll do something undercover in the finale.

Assuming Vivian wants to start a human/zombie war, a cure for zombie-ism is her worst nightmare.  She can’t have her fighters being captured and cured.  

Chase, on the other hand, doesn’t ask about a cure.  He seems to assume Major was human all along, and just really fucking lucky.  

Aleutian Flu

So Aleutian Flu is code for a bio-weapon, and this particular strain has been traced a specific Paris - Seattle flight.  At the time of Katty’s killing, all passengers have been interviewed, with the exception of four first-class passengers.  

Old racist woman, who knows nothing.

Sikh father with a baby, who heard a barking dog nearby

Miserable husband, whose wife ended up in coach due to a mixup.  To appease her, he traded seats with 17D, Patrice Gold.  

???  

Between the barking dog and the napkin with Katty’s name written on it, my boy Chase is looking awfully suspicious here.  

On the other hand, (1) Liv and Clive have a list of the four passengers, and would both recognize his name if he used it.  (2)  is he stupid enough to leave evidence connecting him to a murder on his nightstand?  (3) is he even more stupid to bring the woman investigating the murder back to his bed, knowing the napkin was there?  

Possibilities

If Chase was on the flight, did he also switch seats with another coach passenger?

Or had Katty already interviewed him and cleared him from suspicion.

Is that why he had the napkin with her name on it?

He clearly did not have sex with her.  His scene with Major earlier makes it clear that he knows Zombie/Human sex is off limits.

And Catty wasn’t a zombie at her time of death.

But SHE wouldn’t know the danger of sleeping with him, and there was nothing stopping her from shoving a napkin at him with her room number.

I mean, I WOULD!!!

Or is the napkin there for another reason?  He jotted the info down while listening to a voice mail?  He thinks their luggage got switched?  Vivian manipulated it somehow?  

Assuming Vivian is the Big Bad, she would know the date of her “death” in advance, and would have time to send Patrice to Paris to await further instructions.  

Like “Chase will be on flight xyz at this time.  Make sure you’re on the same flight, and release the toxin then.”  

Vivian Stoll vs. Chase Graves 

Most of this analysis rests on the assumption that Chase remained in Tripolli prior to Vivian’s death.  It’s completely possible that he came back to Seattle weeks or months earlier in order to wreck mayhem everywhere.  

Where Vivian edges Chase out, is that we’ve been shown her connection to the different entities:  the Tuttle-Reed family, Harley John and the tracker in his car, Baracas and the other Chaos Killer victims, the cure, and her admission of infecting all of the FG employees.  If Chase shares any of those connections, we haven’t been shown on screen.  

Where Chase edges Vivian out, is we’ve been shown a connection to Katty and the Aleutian Flu through the napkin and White Fang.  If Vivian shares this connection, we haven’t been shown on screen.  And if Chase was in fact on this flight, that negates the idea of him being in Seattle all along.

Potential Accomplices:

Zack Stoll:  Share’s a last name with Vivian, but seems genuinely decent.  Also, caught in the blast, though it looks as if his upper half makes it out.

Carey Gold:  Maybe?  A little TOO convenient, especially with Clive learning she’s Patrice’s mother.  Has constant access to Chase.  Capable of slipping Katty’s napkin in his pockets while he’s naked tanning (thank you Rob Thomas!).  At least mildly involved, as Tatum is living in her home, and her daughter was on the flight from Paris.  Still, I don’t think she’s the main accomplice.  She seems surprised too often, and only owns one everyday dress.  Pay your employees better, Chase.  

Patrice Gold:  Probably capable of conspiring without her mother’s knowledge.  Her seat number was written down on Katty’s napkin, and she was obviously the passenger Katty was killed to keep from interviewing.  Also, Tatum seems more frightened of Patrice.  

Justin:  My choice for most likely suspect.  

Becomes Major’s Insta-BFF at a time when he needs one the most.

Convinces Major that he’s a great guy, then targets Liv for romance with Major’s blessing.  

The cans of Super Max.  Liv initiated that request, but from Chase’s reaction to the theft, I’m guessing they were under lock and key.  

Not saying Chase wasn’t an asshole to shoot him, just that I feel like there’s something more to the Super Max angle.  

Who found the guns in Harley John’s truck?  Oh yeah.  This guy.  

Who worked the Baracas party where a shooter fired the same guns?  You guessed it.  Justin.

In Conspiracy Weary, Justin lies and tells Liv that Harley John’s compound wasn’t worth checking out.  It hadn’t been used in months.

Liv questions this statement aloud once she gets a look at it. 

Harley’s been building his underground bunker for all this time.

And the machinery was so loud, even the neighbors could hear it.  

 Justin conveniently pulls Major out of the party mere moments before the explosion.  

Too. Good. To. Be. True.   Nobody’s that sweet and pleasant.  

[dontgiveasheet]

everything fucking blew up on tuesday and i’ve been going through this week on autopilot and when i’m not feeling completely numb i’m just overwhelmed and angry and i need to just scream about it so yeah trigger warning for drug abuse, suicidal thoughts/attempts, abuse

honestly like to even begin to delve into what happened on tuesday i have to go back. like 26 years back bc holy shit i’m 26 now? but the short version of that is basically just. my mom has been emotionally abusive to me, my siblings and my dad since forever. i think my dad and i got the worst of it, at least until i moved out/started college when i was 17/18? then it was my sister, and when she ran away it moved on to my brother. she was physically abusive for a while too but that stopped when i went off to college because my mom isn’t stupid. my dad also never really did anything about it because he’s like me? super introverted, terrified of conflict, pushover suffering from hardcore depression - he tried to commit suicide when i was like 12/13, that’s the only “on record” attempt. there was an “accident” a few years ago that i’m not so convinced was really an accident. we don’t talk about either. that’s how things go in my family. things happen, shit blows up, we all walk on eggshells and pretend like everything is fine until something else blows up.

but yeah, last december things got really bad? my mom found out that $5k was missing from her bank account - later found out that the amount was closer to $7k - and it had gone missing over the course of like 6ish months? she comes home with my dad from the bank and is (understandably) in the middle of a breakdown. my mom makes a lot more money than my dad, my dad is a gm at a chain restaurant, but even though she has a decent job our family cannot afford to take a financial hit like that. it was a huge fucking hit.

so she sits us down and is telling us about it, and my brother starts acting fucking weird. at this point, my mom has been suspecting for months that he’s on drugs so she picks up on it immediately and turns to him and is like, ‘please tell me this wasn’t you’. and he breaks down and admits it was him. at this point last year, he was 15. he admits he had been taking the money - small amounts at first, then progressively more and more. some of it he had used to buy clothes, shoes, etc. but the bulk of it went to bitcoin, which he used to buy drugs on the dark web - or into gift cards that he would trade for drugs. 

my mom’s a mess, he’s a mess. we’re all sobbing and he just goes on about how he wishes he was dead, tells us he’s going to kill himself and leaves the house. i’m freaking out and tell my parents they need to call 9-1-1. my mom doesn’t want to call 9-1-1 because she can’t afford it, but starts playing the boo-hoo what can we do card. so i look at my dad and tell him that he needs to call 9-1-1, or find him and take him to a hospital, or i’m fucking calling an ambulance. we all go out looking for him, my parents find him and bring him home, my mom continues with the ‘what do we do now’ etc. bring. him. to. the. fucking. hospital. 

so my parents take him to the e.r. and they do an intake and be cause we are 1) abused children aka professionals at putting on a show and pretending we’re fine 2) he’s always been fairly naturally charismatic and 3) he’s gotten especially good at putting on a show because of the drugs so OF COURSE he knew just what to say. the doctor comes out, all smiles, telling my mom what a great kid he is. which is true, when he’s sober and in a good place. but, obviously, he’s got a lot of issues and my mom has an incredible knack for throwing oil on the fire. they give him two thumbs up. normal teenager. they send him home.

the next afternoon, everything was pretty quiet. we thankfully had a snow day so my mom and i didn’t have to go into work. he was shut up in his room, my dad was at work, my mom and sister were out shopping. because, as per usual, we don’t talk about anything. smooth out the wrinkles, carry on as though everything is fine. i was taking a shower, had just gotten out when my phone rang. it was my mom. she was crying and sounded incredibly panicked. she told me to stay calm, to pretend like everything was fine and to get out of the house immediately. and i, completely taken aback and still wet and not clothed, demanded to know what was going on. she asked if my brother was still home - i told her i was in the shower, i didn’t know. she told me to get dressed and calmly leave, get in my car, and drive. my brother was threatening to burn the house down. cue flashbacks to the time when my sister was my mom’s target of choice, not my brother, and she used to make threats to kill us. yeah #tbt to all of the times i slept with my bookshelf in front of my door, and my parents slept with their cellphones pre-dialed to 9-1-1, and i got out of bed every morning not knowing who would still be there when i opened the door. i got dressed, got in my car, drove down the road and called 9-1-1.

the police came, one of them was a cop who works at my brother’s high school so that at least was somewhat of a relief. my brother knew him and liked him so it wasn’t a complete stranger going up to confront him. it was all pretty intense. my mom, sister and i filled them in on everything else that had happened, they made the call to get an ambulance, and the police took him to the hospital. they took it all a bit more seriously this time because it was law enforcement requesting the eval. i spent the rest of the day pretty shaken up because, you know, potentially getting stuck in a burning house and all that. but i looked into a few counseling options for my brother. i was pushing for a full on rehab center. but they’re expensive and insurance is a nightmare, and i get that my parents really can’t afford it. so we found a counselor here in town. the center didn’t take my mom’s insurance but she said she was going to figure it out. 

he went to sessions consistently for about two months. and then that was it. but aside from the occasional quick convo about the missing money and getting it back, we never talked about it. not a single fucking word. and i was a good daughter (i mean it still kind of applies because female is part of my identity, but i’m not out to my family or friends in any way, shape or form) and kept my mouth shut and didn’t say anything to the only 2 friends i talk to irl (i broke down and told one of them in june, but didn’t tell the other until very recently but i’ll get to that too). i told a few rp friends while everything was going on because it was so fucking overwhelming and i needed to tell someone and just let it out.

fast forward to the end of june. my brother and mom are on relatively decent terms (super hot/cold because he was still the favorite target). i was out all day at the grad party for one of the above mentioned irl friends. it was a great day, i had a lot of fun. and then i came home. i could hear them arguing and it had clearly been going on for a while. i had talked to my mom on the phone as i was leaving the party, so i already knew she was absolutely piss drunk (as usual when she starts fights of this magnitude, it’s kind of her m.o. - and then the next day, she ~conveniently forgets what happened or has a completely delusional version of events that you can’t dispute because she’s always right). 

she’s in the doorway of his room, and i just kind of brushed past and went into the bathroom because i had been outside all day and had to pee like it was my job. bathroom’s adjacent to his room. i don’t even remember what he said exactly, but i’m sure he told her to shut the fuck up and called her a bitch. (i did not know at this point, but found out later that the “fight” had started downstairs aka what she does when she’s drunk, needling and needling and needling until the other person snaps so they’re the one who “started it” & she can play the victim - and that he had completely ignored it and removed himself completely by shutting himself in his room so it wouldn’t escalate) 

but yeah - told her to shut the fuck up and called her a bitch or something, so she comes flying into the bathroom (while i’m peeing, so i’m feeling pretty fucking vulnerable right about then) and screaming at me like, ‘did you hear what he just said to me? should he be speaking to me that way?’ and i’m so fucking tired of the me vs. them my mom always tries to start, you’re either with her or against her. you’re damned if you get involved, damned if you don’t. but i just wanted to fucking pee and for her to go away, and i knew that it was just going to get worse - so i told her that he wasn’t going to calm down and it wasn’t worth it, just walk away. wrong answer.

she gets in my face - while i’m still on the fucking toilet because, again, i was just trying to pee - and starts screaming at me ‘agree with me, or get the fuck out’. another one of her m.o.’s, especially with my dad and me. have an opinion? get the fuck out. don’t want to fail your assignments/skip out on homework to go shopping? get the fuck out. she dangles it over our heads and uses it against us because she knows neither of us could afford to move out. but at this point, i’m super flustered and can’t even get a full sentence out, and she’s still screaming at me. 

this pissed my brother off, so he comes flying out of his room and into the bathroom and gets in her face. he starts screaming at her to just fucking stop that i told her to just walk away so just fucking walk away. she starts screaming that he pushed her into the bathroom - the place that... she already was... because she was in my face screaming at me. it was getting ugly, my brother walked away and was planning on just leaving the house because we all know it’s just never going to end. she chases him into the hallway. he starts screaming ‘get your hands off of me’. she starts screaming ‘go ahead, hit me’. i come flying out of the bathroom, she has him pinned up against the railing of the staircase and i honestly thought she was going to send him over.

he manages to brush past her and make it down the stairs and she’s still screaming ‘go ahead, hit me’ and he calls out to my dad that he’s fucking done, that he’s calling the police. my brother storms out. the police are at our house a few minutes later. at this point i’m in my sister’s room, and she’s just letting me sit in her bed and cry. the police come in, and the female officer was relatively understanding with the whole situation and saw how visibly upset i was and was pretty nice about the whole thing. the male officer was a fucking dick but that’s not really relevant to anything. but they asked me what happened, and everything i told them, they were essentially like ‘that’s not what your mom said’. of course it’s not what she fucking said. she’s piss drunk and loves to play the victim. 

she told them that my brother pushed her into the bathroom (false) and that she was trying to get away from him and screaming ‘stop pushing me’ (also false). she also sobbed to them about everything that happened in december. yes, it was fucked up what my brother did, but it had absolutely nothing to do with what happened that night. but, again, she’s very good at playing the victim. the officers essentially throw their hands up, he said/she said, etc. and pretty much tell us to sort it out. great police work. but we’re white, so not really shocking i guess

after they leave, my dad, brother and i sat out on the front porch and my brother just went on and on and on and it honestly broke my fucking heart to listen to my little brother talk about how he just wanted to die, how he went to bed every night and prayed he wouldn’t wake up in the morning because he couldn’t deal with her anymore. it fucking hurt to hear my brother say the things that i’ve been feeling and bottling up for years. and he went on about how frustrated he was that my dad never did anything. that he never stood up to her, never got us out of there. he said how frustrated he was with me because i never did anything or stood up to her either. which i get. and i feel like a fucking failure all the time because i’m supposed to protect him, and i can’t even protect myself. and then he decided that it was probably best if he went and stayed with friends, promised to call/text but wouldn’t tell us where he was going. and then i went inside with my dad and stayed up most of the night because he broke down, apologizing to me over and over and over again for being a shitty father and not doing something sooner, and i was terrified that if i went to sleep that my dad would be gone when i woke up. 

two mornings after the blow up, my mom comes down one morning and tells my dad and i that “we need to talk” and she’s got that me vs. them look and tone. so she tells us, quite snarkily, that we need to “do better about getting your stories straight”. because when she asked us what happened on the porch the next morning, my dad said “[brother] and i talked” and i said “we sat on the porch and [brother] talked”. apparently that was a colossal difference and worth starting a fight over? but my dad put his foot down and shut that shit right the fuck down because are you fucking kidding me but that is cLASSIC for my mom. so he and i gently confronted her about how we’re both just... fucking done. that we’re tired of walking on eggshells and that it’s like living with two completely different people, and how we’re both fcking terrified to come home because we never know what we’re walking into. and she still tries to play the victim about what happened with my brother but we shut that down too like. you were fucking shitfaced, the three of us were completely sober. you don’t get to tell us what happened. there was a lot more to it than that, but she was doing this fucking weird thing where like, it was almost like she was trying to make herself cry? and when she wasn’t doing that, she was closing her eyes and throwing her head back and it honestly felt like talking to a toddler. my dad made her promise to stop drinking, and he said he would stpo drinking too to make it easier. and then she said something about having “a lot of processing to do” and then dramatically packed a bag and went on about “going away for a while so i can think about things” (she’s done that before, when i was like 11? my dad was at work, and we apparently did something she didn’t like, so she packed a bag and threatened to leave bc we were ungrateful, awful children who didn’t love or appreciate her, etc. until we broke down sobbing and then she ~miraculously changed her mind and stayed). 

she actually left this time because no one cried or begged her to stay. i was looking forward to having a few days to just decompress. but wow, shocker. i get a phone call a few hours later and she goes on about how she can’t do it, how she would rather be home with us, etc. and she comes home. 

and just like every other fucking time, we don’t talk about it. we smile and pretend and act like everything is normal. i was supposed to be meeting friend 2 after the grad party to watch coco, but i had texted her and filled her in a little bit with what was happening & then went to her house the next day and filled her in a little bit w what was happening but that was it. i kept my mouth shut like i was supposed to. 

now early october, i’m getting ready to leave for work. literally grabbing my keys to walk out the door and she starts snapping at me about my dad’s beer cans. should probably mention the ‘no drinking’ thing only lasted about a week on both their parts. anyways. she starts flipping out about how it’s ~totally fine~ that he drinks 4 beers in one night, but her ~one wine glass~ (note: one wine glass & no mention of how many times a night she fills said glass) is a problem. and i’ll admit i lost my cool a little bit, but i’m fucking tired of her always starting shit right before work because she l o v e s to do that. we work in the same building, so she screams/lays into me either right before i walk out the door or in the car when we carpool until i start crying, and then screams at me again later on for “embarrassing” her because my coworkers got concerned with my puffy eyes/being visibly shaken and asked her what happened. so i’m just. done. i’m fucking done, so i just yelled back at her that no, it’s not a problem because he doesn’t get drunk and abuse us. 

it got pretty bad.we’re just screaming at each other and she’s demanding “specific examples” of how she abused us because she NEVER did such a thing and she has NO MEMORY of ever treating us with anything but love, etc. and i know i should have just walked away but i shot out examples and she deadass says to my fucking face, “i never did that. that never happened.” and then she refused to talk to me, look at me, or acknowledge my presence for a week and a half. so let’s get it straight - she can’t reduce me to tears before work because it “embarrasses” her, but she can brush right past me without even looking at me / say good morning to my coworkers without acknowledging me. she only started half-speaking to me again because my brthday was on the 22nd and she ignored me/wouldn’t let my dad call me on my 19th birthday and i told my dad’s whole family what was going on and it............. blew up in her face? and like i mentioned before, she’s not stupid and knew i would get upest and say something again so things were ~magically okay between us again. 

and then tuesday. monday night, she was packing herself mac and cheese for lunch and asked if i wanted some too. i said yes. there was a conversation about tupperware containers, which she apparently interpreted as me saying i didn’t want mac and cheese? which is....... fucking weird and definitely bullshit. but i didn’t know this on tuesday morning when i opened the fridge, grabbed a container of mac and cheese and put it in my lunch. i’m about to leave when she opens the fridge and starts throwing a fit because her mac and cheese is gone. and then she goes on this huge tirade about how i had said i didn’t want mac and cheese at all - and i didn’t want to deal with it, so i took the mac and cheese out of my lunchbox, put it down on the island, and grabbed my keys to leave. she starts screaming at me to take the mac and cheese because, yk, i have to be the bad guy so she now has to reinvent the situation. and she goes on and on about how she’s sick of my “toddler tantrums”, etc.

all of this over fucking macaroni and cheese.

she ignores me all day at work, i got home a bit later than usual, and i’m heating up something for myself for dinner & loading the dishwaser while i wait. so she comes up and is like, “we really need to talk because what you did this morning really upset me” because i’m the one who threw the tantrum over mac and cheese now, apparently. and then, this is great this is really fucking great, starts going on about how she and my dad “talk about your tantrums all the time” and “i’m sick of walking on eggshells around you” and i just... fucking lost it. 

we’re screaming at each other and then she’s just screaming and i’m standing there just shaking and i can’t breathe, and then my brother comes running in and he takes my arm and pulls me out and he’s just saying “it’s not worth it” over and over. but she came flying after us and i’m still shaking, so he just gave me a shove up the stairs and got in her face to keep her away from me and was just telling her to leave me alone. and i made it up to the landing before i collapsed and was just sobbing, and my sister came down the hall and picked me up and brought me back to her room and jsut held me while i sobbed. and she’s rubbing my back and telling me that she’s not worth crying over, that she’s just going to keep playing the victim. and i know she’s right but the only thing i could even get out was “i’m so tired”

and then she came in and did this whole monologue about how she clearly needs to get help and she’s ~so sorry for whatever she did that she can’t remember, and that she is going to go to therapy but needs us to be her “memory” and i just

i’m done

i’m so fucking done because nothing is going to change, and everyone is just going to pretend like everything is fine until something else happens. but it’s just going to get worse and i’m fucking terrified that the next time something blows up, someone is going to get hurt. and i feel like a fucking failure because my little brother and little sister were the ones protecting me the other night, just like my brother was protecting me in june. it’s supposed to be the other way around i’m supposed to be protecting them and i can’t and i’m such a fucking shit excuse of a human being and i’m fucking done.

i can’t even cry anymore. i want to cry. i know i should cry. i’ve spent a lot of time crying about all of this but i can’t anymore because i’m jsut so fucking numb. 

[dollfied-blog1]

A Purpose

So. I’m setting this thing up as a sort of personal vent for thoughts I’m not comfortable sharing in my other writings.

Not that I’m uncomfortable with my thoughts on certain things, I just think that the platform doesn’t call for too much commentary, and I feel like I need to stick more to facts and historical data and whatnot to analyze something rather than my own feelings about what might be going on.

For example: the James Gunn debacle. I’m going to assume everyone knows about it. If you don’t, just type it in your google search bar and get a little educated. Just don’t get overwhelmed, because you can be easily overwhelmed with all the information out there.

So I have a site where I talk about issues relating to comic books and movies and such, and there’s a bit of a problem in presenting this because I’m a bit on both sides of the fence when it comes to how the whole thing was handled. True, Disney’s hands were wrung when it came to Gunn and what he had represented in his time at Troma versus his current status in the MCU with production on all things GOTG. But Here’s the thing, Disney knew what kind of person Gunn was (And how could they not?), and they greenlit Marvel for hiring him on to direct the first Guardians movie anyway. He since apologized for the crass humor and it has been a significant amount of time since those tweets. He didn’t delete them, and I’m thinking and sleuthing reported could’ve brought them back to the limelight even if he did. But there they were, in the ether, ready to be plucked up at a moments notice.

And someone plucked them up. I’m not going to recap the entire story, just that he pissed some folks off with his constant bickering on about how bad Donald Trump is for the country, the folks fired back. Now, Gunn has been very VERY vocal about his displeasure with the current administration. I think a lot of people are, especially in Hollywood. And he has every right to be angry and vocal, because no limits to free speech and all that when it comes to certain subjects. Just don’t advocate illegal activity, causing riots, etc. Can’t yell fire in a packed theater, can’t call people to do violent action, etc.

With that said, his tweets from that time at Troma weren’t calls for anyone to do anything illegal, but rather horrible attempts at humor. (However, if something later is fount out about him where he actually is a pedophile, then he’s a piece of shit who needs to go directly to jail). He’s been on the straight and narrow for the most part, promoting upcoming MCU films and even having some creative direction for Avengers films and such. He was even speculated to be the one to take over the MCU if Kevin Feige ever left the gig.

What gets me unhinged from a personal standpoint is that Disney fired him for a shitty tweets he apologized for years ago. He was hired by Marvel to make movies, and Disney ok’d him. That means they saw his tweets from his time at Troma, and despite that put their stamp of approval for them to work with him. He cleaned up his tweets since then, but in the back were the awful shitty tweets, still lurking in the past.

Enter the dragon. Er. Far right agenda. Gunn is vocal about Pres. Trump, and they don’t like such a prominent figure bashing the president. So, they organize and manufacture an outrage over his tweets, the shitty tweets lurking in the past, when in actuality they are more pissed about his political tweets in the present.

Now, to be fair, James Gunn is a director. We see his face because we’re nerds and follow the films like the Hebrews following Mana in the wilderness for 40 years. However, most of the general public doesn’t know who, or what James Gunn looks like. They don’t follow him like we do, and they can only loosely associate because of Guardians of the Galaxy. “Oh, that guy directed the two movies got fired?” was a response from a few folks I talked to.

GUNN: I support the guy because he’s in a shitty bind. The company that hired him despite the luggage of tweets in his past just turned around and said that those tweets from so long ago are why he’s no longer working with them. He didn’t violate any contract agreement with Disney. He’s passionate about the projects he works for at Marvel, has worked with Kevin Feige closely to sculpt the universe we are now seeing flourish, and here he is. Fucked. Well, not so fucked as we are led to believe, because he’s gonna get a fuck ton of money for not only pumping out the script for GOTG3, which Disney might be pressured into using after all, but also for usage of his name in DVD releases and upcoming films (I think he’ll get some creative credit for A4, whatever that movie gets called later next year).

So he gets money, A LOT of money. And there are other studios tapping him to direct their upcoming films. Cuz let’s be real, the guy took a franchise that wasn’t making shit, GOTG, and made it into a BILLION dollar IP. That’s not only movies, but that’s making the comics more profitable, the solo title arcs, and the group comic as well. That’s merchandise. That’s promotional material. The whole kitten kaboodle as they call it, well worth over a billion dollars. And now they canned him. I’m surprised DC hasn’t put a briefcase full of moneys in front of Gunn, asking him to give creative direction to the DCEU films for the next 20 years. Maybe they’re waiting for the air to clear with Disney before putting that duffel bag of Benjamins in front of Gunn.

DISNEY: Yet, I understand Disney’s position from a company standpoint.. There are a lot of moving parts involved in James Gunn’s tweet history, and I think his most recent tussle with the far-right might’ve been more the instigator for the firing than his past tweets. Although Disney is saying more the latter than the most obvious former. The guy is a ticking time bomb that sets a divide with the very audiences Disney is trying to reach, and it will hurt their bottom line at some point. “Why doesn’t he keep his mouth shut and make movies? Why can’t he be more like Feige?” Which goes to tell you how much Feige walks on eggshells with his content compared to Gunn.

Gunn can’t be the next lead for the MCU, because he can’t roll with the right, the fraction of audience Iger and Horn with Marvel properties and Lucasfilm are trying to reach. Yeah, they have the females with their disney animated films, but they need the boys. And sometimes the boys are bad. It’s just they can’t be THAT bad. So, you let some of them go to protect a potential audience.

Plus, they already fired Roseanne from her show for tweets of offending nature (broadly speaking) so the image they have to protect is their own necks. Not Disney itself, but their leadership roles at Disney. We had no qualms cutting off the right, so we have to equally cut off the left. However, the backlash comparing the two is like night and day. Roseanne’s co-stars weren’t standing behind her when she got her show cancelled. Almost all of them with one voice stood behind ABC’s decision and condemned Barr’s tweets.

Yet something different happened with James Gunn. Support. From the industry. From people outside of the industry. From the actors. From his family. From different sectors of the Marvel fanbase and so on.

Feige, who has worked so closely with Gunn for years now, has been silent on the matter. And it looks like he won’t be saying anything outright anytime soon since that meeting Tuesday between Gunn and Alan Horn at Disney.