#at the gym no pre workout just thoughts of me avenging my dead dad

[shadelesssocket]

enough. show me awkward angsty teenager haytham spending all day practicing his swordsmanship and being a real bitch about it

[in-omnia-paratusss]

More Than Bruises

Everyone got their soulmate's outer injuries marked on their body until they healed. Bruises and scratch marks were a common sight so when Jax started getting cut marks on his wrist he wasn’t immediately concerned for his soulmate's well being. The first time it happened he had figured his soulmate had an accident of some sort. When more marks started to show up on his wrists he began to worry. Sure his soulmate had had a their fair share of injuries (like being shot which had scared the hell out of him) but this was different. What if these weren't just accidents? Then the marks started showing up on his hips as well and it took a lot to reign in his emotions. If he made something blow up again his dad would give him the beating of a lifetime. It came to a point where new marks would show up every night. They started getting darker which meant the cuts kept getting deeper. He had cried in frustration so many times but there was nothing he could do. People at school were also concerned when they saw the marks on his body. It had become a habit of his class mates and team mates to ask how his soulmate had been doing. The guys on the baseball team were the only ones who saw the full extent of the cutting. Jax was glad they were because this felt like something he could only trust his closest friends with. The baseball team was like his family. They were the only people he trusted. They saw just how many marks there really were. Hips, forearms, shoulders, stomach, and ankles were littered with dark thin marks. Even after weeks the guy's eyes widened when they saw. Oliver, who wanted to be a doctor, was especially bothered by the marks on his firecracker of a best friend.

"Dude, that is insane. Even with proper treatment they are losing way too much blood. Just hope they're not doing anything too physical or they could open these back up and pass out somewhere."

Jax sighed. This was something he'd tried not to think about, but he had to recognize it was a possibility. It was not safe for this person to be out and about, especially if they were doing something too tiresome or rigorous. Throughout the day that was all he thought about. How dangerous this situation was. How he had also started to see bruise marks on his knuckles. That day was when everything took a turn for the worst. It was in the middle of practice when Jax felt a dull throb on all the marked areas of his body. He ran to the locker room and the team followed, knowing Jax might skip class but he never left practice without a reason. Immediately after reaching the locker room Jax stripped to his boxers and ran to a mirror. What he saw almost made him cry for the first time since he was ten. There were black cut marks appearing all over his body.

"They're doing it again."

Jax nodded even though he knew it hadn't been a question. He had to hold on to the locker to keep himself from doubling over. Everyone was talking to him but he paid no attention to them. His soulmate was harming themselves more than ever before and he could do absolutely nothing to stop it. He felt impotent, useless. Jax barely acknowledged Oliver when he pushed him down on the bench.

"Hey, listen it’s gonna be alright. Jax? Jaxon, look at me!"

Jax looked up with glassy eyes. His chest was heaving with uneven, heavy, breaths and he knew if he didn't calm down he'd have a panic attack and he would not have one of those in front of other people, especially when he knew what the consequences would be. Oliver moved his jaw so he was looking straight up at him.

"It's going to be fine, alright? They're not dead. If they were those would fade away wouldn't they?"

Jax nodded. He tried to even out his breathing and started clenching and unclenching his fists. He was losing strength which meant if he didn't slow down he'd black out. He wasn't about to lose the little control he had over the situation.

"Okay, breathe. You can't lose control, not here, c'mon."

Oliver knew what was happening. How it could all go wrong. They couldn't afford to blow up a building, much less with the whole baseball team inside. Jax needed to calm down now. He winced when he felt more injuries appearing on his body. Everyone was silent. They knew something was wrong. They all knew Jax had a secret and if this had anything to do with that they were all screwed. Soon, the locker room was filled with calming voices. Jax’s stress only incresed with the stimulation that the noise brought on. Sure, he started to get his strength back and he wasn't going to black out anytime soon but he was pretty sure if this continued he would damage something.

"SHUT UP! How can you expect me to calm down?! How would you react if you knew your soulmate was somewhere out there bleeding, and in pain? I know your soulmates aren't exactly accident free but think about it. People only do this when they hate themselves so much they think they deserve it. Do you know how hard it is to have someone you love as much as I love them hate themselves?"

A round of sorry's echoed through the locker room and Jax sat back down letting out a sigh of exhaustion. His breathing was still rough and uneven with desperation and frustration. The team sat in silence for a while, sneaking glances towards their captain. Even the coach stayed outside. Jax was a scary guy when he was frustrated. A couple guys flinched when he stood up again, his hands still curled up into fists.

"I'm going to the batting cages. You guys can do as you'd like."

No one felt the need to object when he went back into the field in his normal clothes. Oliver made sure to put his friend's stuff in his gym bag, knowing he'd be thanked later. Everyone knew to go straight home and let Jax blow off some steam. God help the fool who was dumb enough to mess with him. Oliver still remembered freshman year when he'd told a substitute to 'Bite me Blondie!' when she told him he couldn't just walk out of class. Meanwhile Jax was having the workout of his life. He stayed in the batting cages until the sun went down and considering it was almost summer that took a long time. He took a quick shower and nodded at the packed bag in his locker, making sure to change. He knew he'd get in a fight when he got home. He was supposed to be there hours ago. His muscles ached and he could feel a throb on the marks. This time it was different, though. He looked down at his arms and saw how the marks seemed to be thickening slightly. The cuts were opening back up.

"What the hell are they doing?"

He walked slowly through central park, making sure to give the lady near the Balto monument her daily dollar. Just as he reached the middle of the park he heard footsteps coming towards him. He figured it was just someone taking a late night run until he heard a thud. He looked towards the person on the ground and frowned, making his way towards them. He realized it was a boy, not much younger than himself. He was shorter and had icy white hair. Jax's frown deepens when he saw how frail the boy looked. He was thinner than what could be considered healthy. His cheek bones we way too pronounced and his collar bones were a little too sharp. His shirt, which Jax assumed had been fitted at some point, was just a little too lose. It wasn't just his weight that was troublesome but the amount of blood seeping through his clothes. Through closer inspection, Jax realized he had blood on all the areas the marks on his own body had appeared. The boy seemed to notice too as he gently ran the tips of his fingers over the fading marks on Jax’s bicep, looking up at him like he was the only thing he could see, and judging by the state the guy was in maybe he was. Jax coughed awkwardly and knelt next to the boy before shifting him onto his lap, shaking his shoulder gently.

"Hey, c'mon, stay awake for me. Can you tell me where you live?"

"Dun w-wanna go..."

The younger boy tugged on the hem of Jax's shirt and buried his face into the soft cloth pleadingly making him feel a pang in his chest. He held him closer and put a hand on his face, trying to keep his eyes open.

"C'mon, I need to take you somewhere to fix you up and if I take you home my dad will beat the crap out of both of us."

"St-stark tow...tower."

"Okay, can you tell me your name?"

"Pietro."

Jax nodded.

“Okay, I’m Jax. I’m gonna have to carry you okay?”

Pietro nodded and Jax shifted his bags to one shoulder. He picked the frail boy up off the ground and started running towards Stark Tower, weaving through people on the streets and ignoring traffic lights much to the annoyance of New York drivers. As soon as he made it to Stark Tower he shouted through the intercom for somebody to let them up. A girl answered, her voice seemed to tremble.

"Why do you have my brother? What happened?"

"Look sweetie, your brother is going to bleed to death if you don't let me up soon. I'll explain everything later."

The gates opened and Jax ran up to the door. It was already open but Jax was too concerned and jumpy to be surprised when he was greeted by a whole team of Avengers. Next thing he knew Pietro was being taken out of his arms and he was being forced to sit in a living room that was three times the size of his whole apartment. He answered questions without really thinking about the answers, glancing at the door every ten seconds. The only person he really paid attention to was the girl, Pietro's sister.

"Where did you find him?"

"He was running through central park. I was walking home and he just sort of collapsed. You’re the avengers." He said the last part in a manner that dismissed the pre-existing topic.

"That isn't important right now."

"What do you mean it's not important?! He lives in a building full of people that dedicate themselves to helping others yet everyone fails to realize he's been self harming for the past two months? And by the way he looks he hasn't really been eating either!"

No one met his eyes as he paced in front of them. Now it was his turn to ask the questions. It was his turn to be angry at the world. Now he could let everything out. No one heard the door open as Bruce let himself in.

"I don't think you realize just how bad this is. He is willingly inflicting pain upon himself because for some reason he thinks he deserves it! Has anyone bothered to ask him how he's doing? How he feels? I realize you all have your own problems but he can't be more than sixteen! This degree of neglect is ridiculous!"

None of them were brave enough to tell Jax that Pietro was in fact seventeen. Clint flinched at the mention of neglect. He had become a father figure of sorts for the twins and having that accusation made was eye opening.

"I've been worrying my fucking ass off because I couldn't do anything to help! You see him every god damn day and do absolutely nothing! Do you know how much sadness he must go through to feel the need to put a blade to his own skin?! Do you even remember the last time one of you told him you loved him, cared about him even? Out of all the stupid, irresponsible-"

"He's awake."

Bruce was shocked to walk into the room and see Jax lecturing the Avengers like a disappointed father would do with a group of children. Everyone turned to him with sad eyes and Wanda had even let some tears slip down her cheeks. Bruce nodded towards the door, motioning for him to follow.

"Come. He's asking for you."

Wanda started to walk towards him but Bruce shook his head and pointed to Jax. She stopped and everyone looked at the teen boy in front of them.

"Sorry, Wanda. He's asking for him."

Wanda nodded and stepped away as Jax stalked out the door with Bruce leading the way. Everyone shared looks across the room and made a silent agreement to apologize later on. Meanwhile, Jax had one thing in mind. Get to Pietro and give him the scolding of a lifetime because he better think twice if he thought that Jax would let go of all the shit he’d been doing to himself without saying anything about it. They stopped outside a room but Bruce put a hand on Jax's arm before he could go in.

"He's stuck to an IV for some nutrients and I've bandaged him up as best as I could. Just... try not to bite his head off."

Jax nodded and opened the door, silently slipping in after taking a calming breath. Pietro was facing the ceiling dispairingly with a needle in his arm and a bandaged everything.

"I believe I had asked you not to bring me back?"

Jax scoffed. Of course he was complaining. Of course the universe would make him stuck with an ungrateful brat for the rest of his life. He had his dad from birth to eighteen and now he had another one. That’s what he got for thinking the vulnerable moment at the park somehow meant that he was wanted in this guy’s life.

"You also had a death grip on my shirt so I figured you didn't want me to leave you there either. I told you, if I had taken you home my dad would have killed both of us."

Pietro kept quiet. He knew Jax was right. He was not going to admit it, though. He looked away and Jax sighed. This was not how he wanted this to go. For months he had wanted to comfort him somehow and now here he was.

"Look, I don't want to fight with you. I'm gonna go get you something to eat."

"I don't want to eat."

"I didn't ask."

Pietro glared at his retreating back as Jax walked back out the door and made his way back to the living room. The Avengers stopped whispering about whatever it was they were discussing as he walked in. Everyone but Bruce seemed concerned and a little bit uneasy at the sight of Jax except Natasha who looked away in attempt to hide her emotions.

"I'm not here to yell at you, I just came to ask if you have any food for him seeing as he hasn't been eating."

A lot of them winced at the tone. Steve was reminded of being scolded with Bucky by his mother for yet another fight that they had gotten involved in. Clint just remembered the neglect part of the previous lecture and wearily watched Bruce nod and lead Jax into the kitchen.

"All he can really have right now is soup. Unfortunately, Sam isn't here and none of us can really cook except Wanda."

Jax nodded and walked to the sink, washing his hands. This would take a little longer than anticipated but it would work.

"Does he have any preferences? Might make it easier if I give him something he likes."

Wanda nodded and walked over to help him. Jax raised an eyebrow at her, being used to doing things on his own but Wanda only smiled kindly at him and opened the cabinet, pulling out a couple ingredients.

"He likes tomato soup. However, I know he can be very stubborn when he does not want to do something. You will have your hands full."

"Is that why you didn't know? He didn't want you to?"

Wanda paused at the counter and nodded. She sat down on top of it and patted the spot next to her. Jax jumped up and joined her. Wanda spoke with a voice so soft and timid that Jax wouldn’t have been able to hear her, had she felt just a bit more guilty.

"We have always been very close. With everything that's happened I just figured he wanted some time to himself. I should have known, but he's learned how to keep me out of his mind and he's never had a set schedule so I don't always see him eat and I-"

Jax stopped her with an arm around her shoulders before she could get too worked up. He realized now that it wasn't her fault. She was the same age Pietro was. She was still just a kid. Albeit a super-heroine one but still a kid.

"It's going to be alright. We just have to help him get better. Let's make the soup, okay?"

Wanda nodded and they got to work. Jax decided he really liked cooking with Wanda. She had a similar pace and they were a pretty good team. He had never cooked with someone before but this was a great first time doing so, if you didn't count the circumstances. He walked out of the kitchen with a bowl of soup and a glass of water. He had offered to let Wanda take it but she had said it would be better for him to do it. When he walked in Pietro was quick to give an annoyed sigh.

"I thought you might have forgotten."

"About you? Never. Wanda and I had to make it because apparently this Tower holds no capable adults."

Jax settled on a chair next to Pietro and put the bowl on the hospital bed's food tray. Pietro stared down at the bowl with a frown causing Jax to sigh and cross his arms.

"Do I really need to force feed you?"

"I told you, I am not hungry."

Jax raised an eyebrow at him. He could practically see Pietro's mouth watering but he wasn't hungry. Like he'd believe that. He had listened to enough of Oliver's medical rambling to know that someone could not go more than a month without some kind of fuel, especially when they were as active as Pietro.

"Yeah, not hungry my ass. I am perfectly fine with feeding you like a fucking toddler but I'm guessing you wouldn't like me to, so why don't you just eat?"

They stared at each other for a while. Jax raised an eyebrow threateningly and Pietro glared. Jax knew he was not about to-

"I'm not hungry." Pietro hissed.

"Fine, be a five year old."

Jax picked up the spoon, which was now warm due to sitting in hot soup for so long. He held it up towards Pietro who just glared. Rolling his eyes, Jax pinched they boy's nose. Pietro stubbornly held his breath for as long as he could but, as any human would, wound up opening his mouth, allowing Jax to pour the soup into his mouth before letting go of his nose.

"Spit it out and I'll force the next one down your throat, I don't care if you choke."

They continued the same process for the next thirty minutes. Pietro glared the whole time while Jax let out a resigned sigh every couple minutes. Once the bowl was empty Jax stood up and took the bowl away.

"Wanda asked Jarvis to tell us if you make yourself throw it up."

"You are insufferable."

"Do you wanna stay here or do you want to go see the others?"

Bruce had come in earlier to take out the IV. Pietro knew he had no good excuse to stay here and he'd have to see everyone eventually so he slid off the bed, adjusted his pajamas and walked with Jax to the living room. He stopped with him in the kitchen before actually going in, allowing Jax to realize how nervous he seemed. He was perched on the kitchen table, swinging his feet back and forth and squirming every once in a while.

"You realize they're just worried about you right? No one's mad."

"But you are angry with me, no?"

Jax sighed and turned away from the sink, shaking his head. As much as he wanted to be angry and yelling he still just wanted to make sure Pietro was okay.

"I'm not angry at you. I could never be angry with you, even though I really want to be. Just... frustrated."

"Why?"

Out of all the stupid questions in the world, honestly. How could Pietro not realize how much he cared? They were soulmates! He couldn't just not give a shit like he did with everything else in his life.

"I... you've been the only thing keeping me going since I was five and it makes me feel so useless knowing that I can't do the same for you."

Pietro just stared at him for a moment. His expression had gone from confusion to guilt. His feet slowly stopped swinging and he started squirming more often. Jax finished washing the dishes and put them in the dish rack, helping Pietro down from the table who only let him because he felt guilty.

"I am sorry I worried you-"

"Whatever... and I'm seriously hoping you weren't going to end that sentence with 'I'm fine'."

Pietro shut his mouth. He would oblige only so he would be forgiven, although he was sure it took more than a simple sorry. Jax led him back into the living room. Everyone looked towards them immediately. Wanda ran to her brother and had to remind herself to be gentle when she hugged him. Pietro hated it. He hated being treated like a porcelain doll. As soon as she let go Pietro winced at the tears forming in her eyes.

"Why? Why didn't you tell me? Why would you hurt yourself like that? Why won't you eat?"

Pietro didn't answer. He looked down at his feet. Everyone's eyes were burning holes into him and Jax's hand on his shoulder blade was the only comfort he was getting. He flinched when he heard Clint's voice, knowing he was in for the lecture of his life.

"Do you have any idea how worried we were? Your sister's been in here crying her eyes out! Did you even think about how this would affect the team? What would happen if you had taken it too far one day and bled out? We would have been devastated, Wanda would have been even more miserable than everybody else. And we need you on missions you can't just-"

"Will you shut the fuck up?!"

Pietro jumped at the sound of Jax shouting. He looked up at the older teen and saw his eyes were burning red. How he managed that, Pietro didn't know but it seemed to scare the hell out of Clint. Pietro found comfort in the fact that even though he was yelling Jax still had his thumb tracing circles on his shoulder blade.

"How can you just turn this around to be about all of you? Has it ever crossed your mind that he keeps things from you so you won't worry? This is hard enough without you making him feel guilty about his own emotions and honestly I think you yelling at him is making Wanda cry more than she was before."

Wanda had found a spot next to Jax, hiding behind him slightly. Pietro liked that she trusted him. She could read minds and if she trusted someone Pietro thought everyone else should too. Clint was now glaring at Jax just as fiercely as Jax was glaring at him. The rest of the team seemed uncomfortable, except Natasha who seemed just as furious with Clint as Jax was.

"Who are you to come in here and yell at everybody? You've known him for a couple hours at most yet you consider yourself some kind of protector."

"Well I'm doing a hell of a lot better in three hours than you guys have been doing for four months. He's my soulmate. I think I'm allowed to be a little damn protective. Someone's got to be."

He glanced around at all of the avengers who’s heads all hung low, although; their hopes that things would get better were as high as they could muster. Clint looked over at Pietro and shot him a small apologetic smile that Pietro responded to with a slight nod. Wanda dried her tears with the sleeves of her cardigan and sniffled softly.

“Well, I think that has been enough excitement for today.”

“Yes, we all have training in the morning.” Pietro coughed out only to be met with two piercing glares.

“You don’t.”

As soon as they realized what they had done both Jax’s and Clint’s heads spun towards the other. Clint laughed softly at the way Jax’s nose scrunched up in distaste at having thought the same thing as him, and after seeing Pietro’s amusement at the situation Jax indulged Clint with a small crooked grin because (and he wasn’t making excuses for their lack of awareness) maybe everyone was feeling just as shaken up and useless as Jax was. Natasha shook her head. Clint never could stay serious for a long time.

“We seem to be in agreement. Until those cuts close up and you fill out a bit you’re not doing shit.”

Jax ignored Steve’s reprimanding cough at his cursing.

“But-“

“No buts! I’m giving you an ultimatum, if you step foot into a gym or exert yourself in any way I swear to god and all that is holy I will sit on you.” Jax scolded.

Natasha nudged Clint and nodded towards Steve as if to say ‘we’ve got two of ‘em now’. Steve elected to ignore both her shit eating grin and Tony’s knowing smirk which he knew meant the same thing.

“In fact, I’d like to come check on you after school. That is, if Mr Stark would allow me to do so?” Jax coninued, turning towards Tony as he asked the last part.

“Sure, as long as you never call me Mr anything again in your life. I sound ancient.” He shrugged.

Jax nodded and said his goodbyes, hugging Wanda on his way to the elevator that he had been shoved into earlier that evening. Pietro watched him go with a tight feeling forming in his chest that he supposed had something to do with what he had said earlier. You’ve been the only thing keeping me going since I was five.

“Could I at least walk you home?”

Jax turned around and Pietro smiled at the way his eyes seemed to sparkle whenever he grinned. He felt Clint put a hand on his shoulders in support and he just knew Wanda was smiling. She was always a sucker for the cheesy shy stuff.

“Well you could but its a long way out. You sure you can make it back okay?”

“I could go with you.” Wanda piped up.

Pietro grinned at his sister and pulled her along when Jax gestured for them to come along.