#at the very least im staying with this style even if i redo them

[jj-ktae]

Erotica - Part 4 - (M)

Pairing: Im Jaebum x Reader Genre: SMUT Summary: You’re a rookie porn actress on the rise and everything goes well until you get offered a role in a big-budget porn movie, starring the most famous actor in the porn industry. Words: 4758 Warning: Read at your own risk Lots of love for @demongyeom who beta-ed this for me because i’m a mess  <3

- Part 1 - Part 2 - Part 3 - Part 4 - Part 5 - Epilogue -

- Part 4 - 

“Just this time, please. Save us.” Your manager tries everything. Apparently, he just received a call about one of the actress being sick and cancelling on a short scene. No one is available, half of them being busy and having no time to film today. “It’s not going to take long, it’s a quickie but we need it for the website, we’ve been teasing this for so long.”

You sigh, eyes scanning through the new lines of the scene the director wants you to film again. They called you yesterday, claiming that you need to redo a couple of talk scenes with Jaebum.

This movie is never going to end.

“But I’m stuck here, we don’t even know when we’ll be done!” Maybe it’s going to discourage him. Maybe he will give up and ask someone else because you really don’t want to run around for one thirty minutes scene when you were initially supposed to rest today.

“I called the director, he said they can come. The studio is okay with lending us a space to film. You only need to agree and I promise I’ll pay you back for that. If we don’t help we’ll be in trouble, you know how the boss works.” He speaks fast, already grabbing his phone because now you’re doomed, you can’t reject the idea for you have no other arguments.

“Fine.” You’re already exhausted. Today was an off day. How come you ended with re-filming scenes plus doing a quickie?

“Great, thanks, I swear I owe you big time, Y/N.” he flies away, smile carnivorous and you know he is going to get big money for what he just did.

A head pops from behind the door, apologetic. “Miss Y/N, we’ll start soon.”

You nod their way, walking away and grabbing the new script you have yet to memorize before you start.

It’s only a couple of scenes. The director said he wasn’t satisfied with the way it was filmed and grabbed the opportunity to change the script. You received a call yesterday night which made you cancel your initial plan to visit your mother.

You don’t see Im Jaebum. Actually, you didn’t even catch a glimpse of his lazy figure ever since you arrived. He usually sits in a corner, concentrated yet idle, with headphones and sometimes carrying a book. Today he is nowhere to be found and you let a sigh of relief at the thought.

When you started filming this movie, your wrath toward Im Jaebum was stronger than the plague. His behaviour and cockiness made you think of him as nothing but an arrogant guy with a thick dick and no compassion for anyone that isn’t him.

He acted like you were going to ruin his career, like you were a greedy girl rebelling against a wealthy family and taking the job lightly.

With time he became less hostile, even friendly as he often sat back to chit-chat with you. He shared a bit of his real personality, which you found to be rather opposite to what he had shown so far. He wasn’t that much into sex as you thought he would, his main topics revolving around music and walks around town.

Im Jaebum revealed to be warmer with time. He wasn’t keen on being officially sweet, his smiles more teasing than cute in your opinion.

Yet he felt comfortable as time passed.

The sex scenes were less of a showdown and softer. Jaebum allowed himself to let his guards down, movements now composed and understanding. It helped greatly, turning the crazy adventure into something less annoying and as much as you would like to be satisfied with his new self, something feels off.

Something feels off because you’re starting to enjoy this. You never truly enjoyed a sex scene. You had your fun moments with co-actors who actually made you feel more at ease with the task at hand, but never to the point of enjoying the ministrations.

Maybe it’s because he is a professional. Im Jaebum is very famous in the porn industry even though he barely appears in sex related media. Maybe it’s why he is famous. He must be one hell of a good actor if he can make you believe that he cares.

This is why you refuse to speak to him more than necessary. Your last sex scene in the shower turned out to be very productive, tearing a very strong and realistic orgasm from a very intimate Jaebum; and pulling your barriers down.

So naturally, you decide to stay away from any trouble. Im Jaebum is nothing but talented at what he does which has nothing to do with you, hence, you shouldn’t even think about how he might be genuinely affectionate.

But you know nothing about the real Im Jaebum.

He is thankful that you stopped acting like you hate him. He admits he went too far and jumped to conclusions, but he can’t be blamed, in all honesty. He has seen so many young actress trying to become popular and acting dirty just for the sake of fame. He had to deal with clingy girls trying to get into his pants outside of work, running after him and thinking he spends his time pounding into whatever breathes.

So, thinking about how your relationship started, he doesn’t understand how his behaviour changed. He is used to being distant; he knows what people think of porn actors and doesn’t mind staying on his own – or with the only two people he can call friends. He blames it on the situation and the movie itself. He blames everything on how stupid and mushy he has to be for the sex scenes.

He ignores how enjoyable and soft you feel under his hands.

Jaebum knows it can happen. It’s the perks of making love for a living. He’s touched and kissed many people in his short life so obviously, he may feel attracted occasionally. It’s perfectly fine and natural, if he refers to his non-existent love life. He shouldn’t worry, even when he catches himself thinking about how you’d feel in a more intimate mind-set, or how strong his orgasm had been back then in the shower.

Yet, he doesn’t appreciate how it never happened before.

When he receives a call from his manager asking him to come and film a couple of scenes again, he doesn’t nag him. He usually complains, not caring about how ‘unprofessional the staff is’. Today he comes with no resentment towards the staff, hiding his evident eyes scanning the area, only to find it empty of your presence.

“We’ll start in ten.” The staff runs around, unpleased with the probability of having to pay for another day of filming in the studio. Everything is rushed, from how he gets pulled to the hairstylist, to how discreetly his makeup is done.

He catches you walking away from the restrooms, hands flattening the hems of your dress and eyes busy scanning for any imperfection on the thin clothing. You seem distracted, hurried even, like something is on your mind.

“We’ll start with the kitchen scene, please head to the studio.” One of the staff pulls him out of his thoughts, making him turn around and aim at the busy room.

He thinks everything will be alright when you step into the room, sitting on the kitchen table while he starts preparing food, just like the script wants him to. He turns around while the cameraman gets ready, along with the gaffer who doesn’t seem to be satisfied with the bright lightening. He tilts his head, catching your attention and you can only greet him, timidly.

How uncommon.

Jaebum knows something is off. You usually either ignore him totally or talk to him like he is your friend. You never act like there’s something you shouldn’t be doing, or like talking to him is something that makes you uneasy to the point of turning silent.

“Starting in two.” The director adds, making you both nod in his direction.

It’s going to be a long day.

--

It is a long day indeed. Jaebum has to deal with you ignoring him and he is torn between bluntly ask you or ignore the uneasiness. He decides not to push it. He isn’t the type of person who can be petty to the point of asking for justifications to a person he isn’t sure he is close to.

You find it hard to stare into space between each scene. So far you both were at least familiar enough to talk about your lives, so obviously, he would find it weird that you ignored him all of a sudden.

You almost regret it when you hear him sigh, forgetting about your previous will to get away from the illusion of a caring person. Maybe you’re overreacting. Maybe Im Jaebum really cares and is filming those sex scenes genuinely.

Maybe he likes making love to you.

That is stupid.

And even if he does, what’s the matter? It’s normal to be caring between co-workers. It’s even good to have a correct relationship at work.

So why is it that you’d rather escape from him?

You know the answer but you don’t even dare thinking about it. Im Jaebum is nothing but a very professional human-being.

--

“There you are!” You manager claps loudly, interrupting your train of thoughts as numerous people enter the studio. It’s been an hour since you finished re-filming the scene for Erotica and you were still waiting for them to arrive.

The director rushes inside, shaking hands with your manager before waving at you. “Is the studio ready? We are late, let’s hurry.” You know him, he is one of the youngest director working with your company. At least he is easy to work with so you won’t have to spread your legs for too long.

“Where is he?” Your manager asks, peeking behind to crew to look for the actor you’re supposed to work with. You didn’t even ask, the information not important enough for you to be enthusiastic anyways.

“Jackson should come any minute.” The director runs toward the people preparing the equipment and you follow, ready to listen to whatever they would want you to do. As if on cue, your manager arrives behind you, rubbing his hands excitedly. “It’s a quickie, doggy style, a little bit of hair pulling and that’s pretty much it.”

You nod, kind of relieved that it’s Jackson who is going to come and not another cocky actor from your company. There’s only a few you get along with, most of them are too self-centred to even act like you’re worth their time and it irritates you every time you have to film with them. They’re not unfriendly though, just very conscientious.

Jackson is different. He has a bubbly personality built to become friends with anyone who smiles at him at least once. He doesn’t mind filming at ungodly hours and respects all the decisions without complaining. He is a hard-working guy yet always makes the situation less dramatic.

Jackson is the only actor who has the ability to make you laugh in the middle of a sex scene and you enjoy how casual he is without being too laid back.

It’s natural when he throws an arm over your shoulders as soon as he enters the studio. He seems exhausted like he filmed non-stop for the past month – which he certainly did – but doesn’t act like he is annoyed to be here.

He smiles warmly, licking his lips and taking his cap off. “I didn’t know you were the one who agreed on taking Vera’s part. She came this morning and started throwing up all over the place,” he shivers, making a face. “Horrible. I heard you’re filming this movie everyone is talking about, how is it going? “

You shrug, mouth falling downwards in hope to keep the most neutral face. “Different? I don’t know, it’s my first time acting in a full movie with a storyline and actual dialogue.”

Jackson hums, parting from you so he can take his jacket off. “I like it when I feel more of an actor than a walking dick.” He raises a hand to get your manager’s attention. “I’ll go wash up real quick.” One wink and a boyish smile later, he is gone.

Jackson does a lot of ‘amateur like’ scenes. They’re mostly short and focus on sex only, but he also did movies with storylines and dialogues that had nothing to do with moans only. Despite his growing notoriety, he is still the same guy. You like how nothing feels creepy and dirty with him.

You aim for the bed, undressing slowly. Your underwear are the only barriers to your intimacy, making you shiver and wrap yourself into the deep red sheets. The staff is still busy with the lightning and camera placement while you wait for your co-actor to get out of the staff room, clean and perfumed.

Jackson always feels the same. After all those scenes you filmed with him, he always wore the same perfume and used the same body lotion. He wears strong notes of musk, with a sugary and fruity body lotion.

You made fun of him when he told you he was addicted to Victoria’s Secret’s products.

He comes back whistling. You’re lying down, body covered and head against the pillow. The staff is finally ready so Jackson jumps on the bed, covering himself too.

“You start with oral, then doggie style next to the bed. We need you to be quick, thirty minutes maximum. It’s a free video for our premium members so don’t overdo it.” You both nod at the director, Jackson already approaching you and wrapping an arm around your waist.

It’s a common sex encounter. Jackson groans yet massages your flesh with care. You purr against his neck when he starts touching you, earning an amused chuckle from the aroused boy.

It gets more intense when your lips wrap around his swollen tip. He grabs the sheet and bites his lip, watching you play with his penis hungrily.

You add more dramatic moans when he starts licking you. He is on the floor while your upper body is on the bed and he dives right in, groaning and parting your legs so wide you almost yelp at the sudden stretch.

He smirks against your folds and you want to smack him. It feels good to film without tension or uneasiness. Bless him for being somewhat normal even though he also has sex for a living.

The doggie style scene arrives quickly. Jackson jerks himself and rubs his dick playfully against your folds while you position yourself against the foot of the bed. The staff is quiet, busy even, as they start talking about when the video will be up.

You whimper when he fills you up to the hilt, head rising in an exaggerated blissed expression but you freeze when you open your eyes.

--

Jaebum was supposed to go. He didn’t even need to shower and changed himself fast, rushing to get the hell out of here and rest before meeting with his friend for a drink later that day.

He didn’t mean to peek but when he heard you had to film an unexpected scene, he put his bag down and stayed. It’s weird, he was never the type to be into voyeurism but something tickled his curiosity.

So eventually he sticks around, hidden behind the huge camera, looking like the biggest pervert in town. He watches intently, from the moment you start sucking your co-actor to that climax point when he starts pounding into you at full force.

And against better judgement, he scoffs. It looks rushed, tacky and everything he hates. He rolls his eyes at Jackson when the latter grunts and rotates his hips against your face, shakes his head when he spreads your legs and observes your unnatural face when you start moaning way too loudly.

It’s not natural. It’s not how you usually react, it’s definitely not your honest, flustered face when you close your eyes and lick your lips in false lust.

He doesn’t like it but somehow takes pride in the situation. He has been doing this for a long time now and he recognises a good actor when he sees one. Jaebum’s seen and felt too many fake orgasms to see you’re only wet because you must be. It’s pleasant in a way, because he remembers clearly how much you contracted around him, how you grabbed his arm for support, how you licked your lips to muffle the needy moans.

There’s no connection.

He ends up feeling torn. One part of him wants to laugh at how ridiculous that scene looks yet another part wants to grab your co-actor by the collar and drag him out so he can show everyone how you really act when you’re turned on.

It looks different though, when you look and find him staring. You’re bent over the bed, sweaty and panting yet you don’t seem to be into it. Jaebum knows he shouldn’t be here, but he finds it hard to ignore how disturbed it makes you look. You almost fall when you receive a particularly hard thrust and look away, head low.

“You must find this boring, right?” Your manager walks next to him and talks politely, like he wants to apologize for showing such as shameless and cheap scene.

Jaebum shakes his head, a smirk growing on his not so peaceful face. “It’s instructive.” It’s not. He doesn’t find anything interesting about a muscle-boy pounding into a girl who seems as dry as the desert.

When the scene ends, you fall on the bed, thoroughly ignoring Im Jaebum, who you hope is now gone. Jackson stretches and yawns, slapping your butt. “Get up, lazy girl.” He laughs at you and you smile back, grabbing his hand so you can stand up.

Jackson has no boundaries, for he already throws an arm around your shoulder, bowing at the staff and thanking everyone. “Let’s get a drink. It’s been ages.”

You make a face, shaking your head. “I’m exhausted and tomorrow is my last scene.” You peek around and Im Jaebum is nowhere to be seen, so you relax, muscles now soft and yet conscious of your surroundings.

“I didn’t say we would go to a nightclub. My schedule is packed for tomorrow, let’s- Oh, JB! The famous daddy.” Your eyes fly from Jackson to peek at an unamused Im Jaebum, arms crossed over his chest and smile tight. “I didn’t know you were still around!”

Jackson is dense, Jaebum thinks. He tilts his head and looks down at your bare body, the one you always hide from him whenever you’re done filming. How is it that you have no trouble walking around a naked and noisy guy when you dash out of his sight every single time?

Jaebum keeps his reproaches for himself, nodding at a smiley Jackson who doesn’t seem to mind showing his now floppy and dirty dick for everyone to see. “We met already, I believe.”

Jackson thinks for a minute, before clicking his fingers. “We did? Great! I was about to take Y/N for a drink right in front of the studio, why don’t you tag along?”

You part from him, shaking your head. “I told you I’m busy tomorrow. He is too, Jackson. Maybe some other time?”

Jackson looks disappointed from the way his arms go limp by his sides. “I can’t believe you-”

“Fine, let’s go.” Jaebum cuts him, eyebrows raised and watching you for any type of reaction. “The director said we only have filming in the afternoon, it’s our last scene, after all.”

You open your mouth, bewildered. What the hell is he thinking about?

Jackson claps his hands, proud. “So! It’s settled. Let’s take a shower and get out of here.”

--

You don’t know how you end up in a bar with two porn actors and a financial consultant. Jaebum was apparently supposed to meet his a friend and asked if it was okay for him to tag along, as to which Jackson agreed, of course.

He is also currently making the poor boy – whose name is Jinyoung - laugh with lame jokes and weird facial expressions. Jaebum is quiet, watching the place and sipping his drink. You try to make yourself look busy, but it’s hard considering you don’t want to be here.

“Of course not, we do get into stable relationships!” Jackson laughs, “Right, Jaebum?” He started calling him by his name as soon as he felt comfortable, which means ten minutes after meeting him in the studio. “People think we only care about sex.”

Jinyoung scoffs, “Of course you don’t, Jaebum himself has a mediocre love life. Is it true that sex becomes a chore once you become a porn star?” he looks at Jaebum and shakes his head. “Everyone thinks he is a Don Juan with too much stamina but he lives like a grandpa.”

Jaebum doesn’t have the time to answer as Jackson is already laughing loudly.

“It’s true, I guess? We don’t have sex the same way we do for the cameras. I mean, personally, it became that way for me. I’m so lazy when it comes to real sex.” Jackson nudges you, pulling you out of your thoughts. “How about you?”

You observe the three, your glass still clutched between your fingers. Jaebum seems also interested, because he stopped looking at the wall to stare at you.

You try to play it cool. “I guess it’s true. I wouldn’t know, it’s been a long time since I had personal sexual intercourse.” You don’t know why should share that information with two people you barely know and a guy you fuck with professionally.

Jackson gasps. “See? Most of the people I know who are in the sex industry aren’t thinking about sex non-stop.”

Jaebum hums, playing with his now empty glass. “Some people do think of us as creepy and perverted though.” You almost choke, hoping no one would notice how he was referring to you.

Jackson agrees instantly. “It’s hard to find someone who would accept our situation. What do you think about your friend’s job, Jinyoungie?”

You sigh when you hear the pet name. Jackson is so shameless.

Jinyoung doesn’t seem to mind. He thinks for a minute, before putting his glass down. “I’ve been friends with him for a long time so it’s not like I don’t know who he really is, but I admit I would have been freaked out if I met him under any other circumstances.”

“Right?” Jackson muses, amused with the situation. He turns to an upset Jaebum, “Still, you film some nasty shit.” He laughs after his witty remark, facing a now uneasy boy who is close to punching him in the face.

“It pays well.” Jaebum mutters, avoiding your stare that he knows must be judgemental, now. “It’s not like I’m into this.”

You chuckle at his sulky face. He doesn’t look like the cocky guy who made fun of you the first time you met.

The evening ends fast thanks to Jackson who can make the conversation for everyone. You laugh from time to time, teasing Jackson when a woman in her late fifties offers him a drink and he gladly accepts it, winking at the lady.

Jackson runs around once you’re all out of the bar and sings with an amused Jinyoung who looks like he has been friends with him for forever.

Jaebum stays behind, shocked to see how easily the pair became friends. He turns to you after a while, “Do you want me to drive you back?”

You stop, frozen. Maybe it’s a bad idea. You’ve had a couple of drinks and you don’t remember him drinking to the point of being drunk. It isn’t like him to ask when you could get a cab and head home.

“I mean, I took my car to come to the studio today.” He adds, pulling his key from his back pocket. “It’s easier than finding a cab.” He acts like he is detached and is asking purely out of convenience for you. “Unless you still think I’m a creep who will jump you.” He tries humour because it’s incredibly embarrassing and he has to find a way to get out of this if you ever reject his proposition.

Before your brain works, your mouth opens, rapid. “Okay.”

Jaebum smiles, surprised, and turns around to yell at the duet. “Want me to drive you back home, too?”

Jackson stops dancing, shaking his head at you too. “CAB! THANKS!” He pulls on Jinyoung’s hand to make him waltz, the latter barely able to answer as he is basically being pushed around everywhere. He notices the situation though and smirks at Jaebum, before shaking his head too.

“I’ll just find him a cab and head back.” He laughs when Jackson almost trips, forgetting about whatever was happening and Jaebum is glad he doesn’t have to deal with these two.

He presses on a button and a car makes a sound among all the parked engines by the street. It’s a nice yet simple car, in which you enter swiftly. Jaebum steps in a second later, spending no time in turning it on and you give him your address.

The ride is silent, the only sound coming from the soft music enough to make the situation less awkward. Jaebum is focused on the road, taking turns and listening whenever you give him directions. He discovers you live quite far from the studio but doesn’t comment on it, unsure of what your reaction would be.

You focus on the outside world, peaceful and lit with endless lights. You don’t expect him to become a chatterbox, but it’s true you didn’t think he could be so chill and silent. He does seem like the petty type, the guy with too much confidence and gusto, but he has none of it. He lives simply and has a cool friend, a guy who has nothing to do with the porn industry.

He also seems a lot softer than the first time you met. Maybe it’s because you know more about him and finally started to see him as something more than a jerk who fucks numerous persons per day.

It’s funny that he is the exact opposite of what he seems to be at first. It’s also crazy that he seems to avoid any sort of relationship and claims he isn’t that much into sex. You can understand though. Having sex became too much like working — and now that you spend your time faking orgasms, there’s not that much flavour left in it.

“What you usually do is different from what you filmed today.”

Jaebum’s remark makes you look away from the streets to glance at him. He barely peeks at your face and smirks “From what you told me, I thought you were more into soft porn than quickies.”

You smile. “What makes you think that?”

Jaebum peeks again, stopping at a red light and finally giving you his full attention. “It looked like you were forcing yourself. You don’t seem to fake it with me.”

Of all the embarrassing things that he could have said, this is the worst one. You stutter, the hint of an answer stuck to your throat.

“That’s why I thought you were more comfortable with soft porn.” He tries. Maybe he went too far.

You wait for a good minute before you open your mouth. “It’s funny coming from someone who hates soft porn yet seems to enjoy slow and delicate sex.”

He chokes on air, turning around another corner. “I hate filming delicate sex.”

“Then you’re a very good actor.” You add, making him smirk. “I live here.”

Jaebum leans to look at the building before stopping the engine. He then presses on the central locking button so you can open the door.

You grab your bag, glad you can finally run away from the sticky situation. You get out of the car and lean to thank him but he makes you freeze with his next words.

“I wasn’t acting.”

You blink, not getting if you’re imagining things or if Im Jaebum just admitted he made love to you for real. He notices the way your body stiffens and when you don’t move, he decides to end your misery.

“See you tomorrow, rookie.”

--

[duratrans]

State of the Duralunion, New Year’s Edition

Hello friends and neighbors, here is a little status update about what’s going on behind the scenes here in Duralumintown.

A Bride’s Story: Chapter 78 (december’s issue) is eight pages about Pariya’s cat, and Mori is taking January off. While I recognize it is of vital importance we explore the cat’s adventures, this one is going to have to wait just a bit because my new year’s resolution is to finally finish....

ＴＨＥ　ＰＥＮＩＳＭＡＮ：god its close. oh god im so close. I am driving hellbent to finally blow this load before I go back to work on the 4th. This has been 90% done for probably a year but going back and redoing all the awful meme pages from the first half when I was determined not to give a shit was just so tedious I kept putting it off, but I’ve got my gumption up now and I’m powering through it. The P-Man got nuked off Batoto before because dickies are icky, and imgur is useless for sequential images at scale, but luckily it should be able to go up on Mangadex. Stay tuned, superfans.

Mizukami Oneshots: Ever the redheaded stepchild, the remaining content from Ginga Thunder has been waiting a long, long time. Thirsting for justice. There are two episodes left from vol 3 (Ginga Thunder), including the thrilling conclusion of the Ginga Thunder saga. There is one item still untranslated from vol 4 (Wandering The Void). I’d also still like to close out The Nihonmatsu Siblings, and maybe even redo the first three chapters, but honestly that one’s pretty low on the ladder.

If all goes according to plan, I will finish ＴＨＥ　ＰＥＮＩＳＭＡＮ within the week (add a few days to get the uploading sorted), slam out the mini-otoyome in a binge night or two, and I’ll have about a month to go after the Mizukami material. I’ll commit myself to getting at least one up, probably the ginga thunder one, before I go back to anything else.

Blog Business: thanks as always for all the words of appreciation and nice messages. Just to reiterate: I get them, I read them, I cop some warm fuzzies off them, I just don’t post em all cause this blog would fill up real quick if I did. Discussion, criticism, or questions are also welcome. Despite running a pretty quiet operation here, I value feedback very much, it’s important to me to see how people are reacting to different chapters and different material. Sometimes I experiment a little, and it really helps me tune my sense of style to see what resonates.

Happy New Year.

[breakingmllc]

Once Upon A Time There Was A Girl Who Really Loves Knitting And Dogs It Was Me The End Heart T Shirt

Yesterday was a Once Upon A Time There Was A Girl Who Really Loves Knitting And Dogs It Was Me The End Heart T Shirt busy day of meetings and airplane travel for peter and connor but last night peter took some time to share his thoughts on the passing of the great christopher lee christopher lee was the tallest actor I ever knew he was also by far the most literate when we first met in a los angeles studio where he was recording his lines as king haggard in the last unicorn he had just recorded haggard’s speech about his first sight of unicorns and I mentioned that it was probably my favorite speech in the book he immediately wanted to know well did I do it properly we can always redo it right here of course he’d handled the lines perfectly but writers and writers’ opinions about their work mattered intensely to christopher that same afternoon we discovered that between the two of us we we could call to mind just about all the lines of g k chesterton’s poem the rolling english road we also discovered a mutual need to hit the men’s room and my son dan in his mid teens at the time still has a very clear memory of christopher simultaneously peeing while declaiming in that voice which no one could ever keep from imitating after fifteen minutes with him before the roman came to rye or out to severn strode the rolling english drunkard made the rolling english road a reeling road a rolling road that rambled round the shire and after him the parson ran the sexton and the squire I leave it to the reader to imagine that voice in the tiled acoustics of a hollywood bathroom we met a second time in munich where the last unicorn was being dubbed into german most of my memories of that time and of chris lee have to do with books and authors he had known both j r r tolkien and a writer who mattered more to me t h white we had a long ongoing argument in munich about a chapter of the sword in the stone that appears in the english edition of the book but not in the american one he turned out to be right he usually was he never failed to mention the last unicorn as one of his very favorite books and as one of the movies he was most proud of having made indeed he left my whopperjawed as mark twain would have put it when we were being interviewed together on austrian television and he announced oh yes I simply couldn’t resist a chance to play king haggard one more time even in another language after all and he looked straight into the camera it’s the closest they’ll ever let me get to playing king lear the camera swung toward me to catch my stunned reaction and chris looked across the studio at me and winked but my most vivid memory chilling as it remains to this day has to do with the day that I and michael chase walker associate producer of the last unicorn and the one who really got the film made in the first place somehow found our way out to dachau I can’t now recall how we managed it considering that neither one of us spoke german and that you had to take both a subway and a bus to get there from the hotel where the crew were staying but we got there somehow and spent a good half of the day roaming with other tourists around a legendary concentration camp peering blindly into the huge crematoriums but staring with equal horror and fascination at the endless rows of filing cabinets containing every record of every human being who was ever imprisoned starved gassed or simply worked to death in this place michael and I grew quieter and quieter that afternoon until by the time we started back to munich we weren’t speaking at all I think we both felt that we might say anything in words again the first person we met in the hotel lobby was christopher he took one look at us and announced you’ve been to dachau we nodded without answering chris strode toward us looked all the way down from his six foot five inch altitude lowered his voice and inquired still smells doesn’t it with the end of world war ii christopher as a member of the special forces and whose five or six languages included fluent german had been assigned to hunt down and interrogate nazi war crminals and had been present at the liberation of dachau and yes the smell of death had undoubtedly faded somewhat since 1945 but it was still as real as michael and me wandering dazedly between the ovens and the filing system we just didn’t know what it was but christopher did and i’d know it again I never saw him again after munich though we spoke on the telephone a few times on the last occasion when I had called to wish him a happy 90th birthday I remember him assuring me that if by the time you come to make your live action version of your movie I have passed on do not let it concern you I have risen from the dead several times I know how it’s done he worked almost to the last as the real artists of every kind do they work to be working because that’s what they do and they die when they stop I always regarded him as the last of the great 19th century actors that bravura larger than life style went with him no modern rada trained performer would ever attempt it today nor should they it would inevitably come out parody however earnestly meant yet there was always more to christopher lee as an actor than dracula or the mummy or saruman or sherlock holmes for that matter though he was very proud of having played not only both holmes and watson but sherlock’s brother mycroft as well lord summerisle of the original the wicker man probably his favorite of his own movies is most likely closer to chris’s dark benignity than any other role he ever inhabited I believe this because lord summerisle sings a surprising amount in that movie and chris passionately loved singing if there is any such thing as an afterlife or reincarnation I truly hope no believe that christopher lee will return as a wagnerian opera singer if he hadn’t been considered too old in his 30s to be accepted for formal vocal training he might have been in his own eyes at least a happier more fulfilled man but we would have been deeply poorer for it and never have known. Wild horses have lived in the kisatchie national forest and fort polk for over 150 years now however despite public outcry and ongoing litigation the u s army is removing horses from fort polk with many of them ending up in a kill pen you can help save these historic horses by signing a petition below and by making a donation to our friends at the pegasus equine guardian association to fund its rescue fostering adoption efforts at. She needs the best emcee baby do you want me please say yes you do come tidy up my crib I can tell you wanna peace to jane fonda let’s play like honda trucks peace to you for makin big bucks time is upon us you’re the star I like it you rule my world like the vikings u were at the corner store paparottzi made a sighting finer than pizza and cool like lightening so stop hiding come inside baby im wating for you your so true wrote that in 4 mins what you think bro

Source: Once Upon A Time There Was A Girl Who Really Loves Knitting And Dogs It Was Me The End Heart T Shirt

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Seriously loving my new touch of nude lipstick I normally hate brown tones on me but this is the Once Upon A Time There Was A Girl Who Really Loves Knitting And Dogs It Was Me The End Heart T Shirt perfect nude brown that I think will now become my new go to can’t go wrong shade so moisturizing too but not too creamy where it’s slides around on your lips. In response to last week s tatoosday post we got so many tattoos from last unicorn fans around the world that it will take months to showcase all of them to help make things go slightly faster than that and because it s neat to compare and contrast we re going to make today a two tattoosday post take a look at these very different approaches to showing the human and unicorn versions of peter s classic character in one image ashley knight schroeder s tattoo is beautifully stylized I just got this done on saturday the last unicorn has touched my life and helped me through many a rough patch even my sons will watch with me and sing talk along to the movie rippy s tattoos did the work I have no idea who did the original design I saw it and feel in love would love to find the original artist brittni lynn martin and her artist phil meyers from california opted for classic heartfelt look this movie has been my favorite since I was little and is now my favorite book and I have a 3 year old daughter who also loves it and we watch it together so it’s been a huge part of my life so beautiful both of these. If your events calendar or feed is full of baby showers anxiety this is for you life is busy but gifting a new mom baby should be easy with our collection of cute coordinating outfit sets multi packs stress less shop bundles baby place See Other related products: Once Upon A Time There Was A Girl Who Really Loves Knitting And Dogs It Was Me The End Heart T Shirt

[maythedreadwolftakeyou]

I finished!!! game time was like something like 138 hours but I spent a good dozen or so hours pausing the game to check my phone or wandering off to make dinner. 

I this said last night in a sleepy 4am haze, but I really enjoyed the ending. It was fun to play. The only time I died was when I accidentally fell into a chasm bc I didn’t realize a goddamn fiend was gonna come barreling out of the hall and ruin my “melee everything” scheme and I scooted myself right off a dang platform and respawned directly in its mouth. Whoops. When the Archon called up the Architect I was very Oh god not another one but then I didn’t have to actually try to kill it ever just avoid it, so that was fine. I LOVED how everyone came out to help at the end. It always seems unbelievable to me that your pals are content to hang back for the boss fight (ME2 I thought did well with having everyone else away on different tasks, and the ME3 citadel mission where everyone goes together is one of my favorite parts of the trilogy). And getting to run around with Kandros (who i love but duty calls and we can never be together) and Reyes (im still Very Sad i had to break up with him) and the Salarians!! and then your team coming in at the end :333 ah. It was a very feel-good, exciting culmination, and I think it fit the tone of the rest of the story well. Part of me was half-expecting disaster like you have to sacrifice Scott or a bunch of citizens or something, and while I eat that sort of tragedy up, I’m glad there wasn’t any for this game. 

Incidentally, all of my screenshots of Scott somehow turned out like this, and so I’ve decided this is a chronic problem his whole life and he has 0 good photos ever even when the rest of the fam comes out lookin great:

ah, Scott. someday i’ll play as him with this Ryder as his sister and it’s gonna have to be a wild ride.

Romance: I romanced Vetra!! I love her a lot as a character but I just kept wishing for more content. And I know I always crave more romancey content but I did feel like her romance arc had a lot less than what I knew people were getting from Jaal’s, especially because it takes you over halfway into the game before you get anything from it. Four flirt opportunities where she doesn’t really flirt back, my Ryder was dying and convinced her crush would never be reciprocated (hence the brief fling with Reyes). But I did LOVE the scenes you do finally get with her, the climbing date was soooo sweet, and I could not stop laughing when she tries to make you dinner. I’m never telling my beautiful girlfriend she doesn’t know how to cook steak. NEVER. she did it perfectly, i love cow. But I just wish there was a scene where YOU could do something for HER. Lexi even tells you that you should show her she’s appreciated and doesn’t have to take care of everyone all the time to be worthy of being liked but then you... never get a chance in game to really do that. Sigh. I definitely have a lot of inner-headcanoning going on for thier relationship. Though Vetra wants to eventually settle down and have a home and i’m... not so sure that’s in the cards for this Ryder. I may tweak the characterization of my Vetra-romance-ryder in some ways and redo this Ryder with Reyes for real next time. I think next up is gonna be a Jaal playthough though.

But, OVERWHELMINGLY, the relationship I was absolutely most fascinated by the whole game and spent way more time thinking about than romance, was the relationship between Ryder and SAM. I went into endgame thinking that the game really hadn’t gotten into that aspect nearly as much as I wanted, AND THEN!!! SAM GETS DISCONNECTED! And it’s revealed they took over WAY more control of the Pathfinder’s physiology than anyone had even guessed!! it’s not just “SAM can take access of enough systems to stop and then restart your heart” it was “SAM is so intertwined with you that they are integrated into these systems already and their absence makes it almost impossible for the Pathfinder to cope without.” I LOVED IT. I was so ready to address that, like, did Ryder know? Did SAM do it by choice or was it just an effect of Alec’s modifications? 

And then... nothing. You’re linked back up with SAM. No one questions it. You don’t get to talk to Scott about how SAM is different for you than him now. Or at least, not that I’ve found??? to be fair I can’t seem to find Scott post-endgame yet (where is he hiding???? i’ve been all over Meridian after leaving/going back), and I still need to go check out the colonies and see what people there have to say. But it really seems like everyone sort of was like “whew, glad that’s sorted out, SAM’s back and htis could never possibly be an issue again so we will all forget about it and never bring it up again.” There was one colonist before (Fawkes) who was one of the only non-main characters to ask a really detailed question about SAM/what the future of AI is gonna look like in Heleus and I was so psyched for that convo. There’s a couple dialogue responses you can take, I went with:

becuase I really like the idea that Ryder starts to think of themselves as not just Ryder, but a Ryder-And-SAM partnership. There’s a lot of sacrifice in that. You’re admitting that your body is not just You anymore, but a team where both sides are valued.

I’ve spent a lot of the game thinking about Ryder’s internal dialogues with SAM, and the dynamic it would add to their relationship. You don’t have a voice that lives inside your head (and gives you its 100% undivided attention while you’re in the field) and not end up talking to it all the time. SAM asks you questions back on the Tempest when you talk to them and I bet they would when out and about as well, just privately. There’s a line in one of the Vaults where Ryder starts talking to herself and then catches it--

--because she gets more and more accustomed to not being the only one in her head. SAM is always there. More than that, they always have your back, and are ready to feed you whatever you need to get the mission done. They’re not just a voice, they’re a tool; and they’re not just a tool, they’re a support system. Maybe Ryder knows just how intertwined SAM is becoming with theer body, and isn’t just aware, but welcomes it. The Ryders are a fucked up family who aren’t good at talking to each other, but SAM means you never have to be alone again. Someone is always there for you, protecting and watching out for you. 

So in the final mission, when SAM is ripped away from Ryder--it’s not just a physical effect. It’s like losing a part of your soul and a best friend and a, in some ways, a parent--because SAM learned through Alec Ryder before anyone else--and in other ways, a child--because Ryder is responsible for teaching SAM what it means to be a person and how to navigate the world. And I wish you could convey that emotional distress (even if less complex) in the game, and that Ryder was as worried for SAM’s well being as they are for Scott’s when they race to stop the Archon. Becuase in a lot of ways, I think my Ryder would have grown closer to same than she ever did with her brother.

Anyway, I wish the game hadaddressed these things more, but I also accept that like--this is a trope that I just am REALLY into and have been for ages. It’s not gonna be what everyone wants as the main focus, and it just wasn’t the big story they were trying to tell. At the beginning of the game the descriptions of SAM hyped me up so hard because they reminded me very strongly of my favorite short story, Silently And Very Fast by Catherynne Valente (which, if you haven’t read it, it’s really amazing and you can read the first part here (the other 3 parts are linked at the bottom of each chapter), or I can send a pdf of it if you want, it’s really good people read it please and then tell me about your Emotions). The story veered off not long into the plot of the game (I, along with many others, suspected for a while that SAM would turn out to be like the mother’s consciousness integrated into the AI or something) but I stayed pretty invested in it as a major part of my Ryder’s experience in Heleus. 

And like, I guess this would be something I’ll probably end up doing fic about now since the game didn’t give me as much as I wanted (and I only meant to write a short paragraph about it here and now i have like 9 whoops), so I’ll probably keep thinking about it with the rest of my Ryders. There’s so much potential there. Jade Ryder really grew attached to SAM, but there’s also potential for resentment there--SAM is always watching, Ryder essentially gives up any aspect of privacy in their life, even if SAM is polite enough not to comment on it.

wow this got away from me. anyway. that’s the game!!!!! i’m running around making sure i’ve talked to everyone still. I need to go check up on the colonies and stuff, but I did pretty much everything else before the last mission, so there’s not much to play. Just some assignments that don’t have navpoints. and then start thinking about my next Ryder!!! I played Jade Ryder as pretty logical and professional, with a tendency to open up more with people as she grew to know them better, though she struggled to be open/heartfelt when talking to Angara when her natural conversation style with them flopped hard at first. I think my next Ryder who I still need to name is gonna be way more casual/joke-y (tho i think Ryder is HILARIOUS no matter what, it’s so fun to have such a lighthearted protag) and probably more reckless and prone to following their whims. Gonna have to re-battle the CC though which I’m not so much looking forward to. 

oh also re: the second picture: i FUCKING LOVE that you beat the architect on Elaaden so hard it shoots itself into orbit and slowly decays and you can just sit there and watch it slowly fizzle in the cold vacuum of space

[despairkindergarten]

OK I REDID THEM AGAIN