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hanatiny · 1 year

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Little Blue Bird (That Lost Its Voice)

a/n: in celebration of blue Joong being back, have this 💙 as always, let me know if I've missed any typos/etc. while editing!

pairing: bluebird!Hongjoong x gn!artist!reader

genre: fluff, a bit of angst

word count: 2855

warnings: hybrid AU, vague mentions of injuries, mentions of food, reader uses "little songbird" to refer to Hongjoong, Joong is a little insecure about being a hybrid, mild cursing, ending can be read both platonically and romantically

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With the weather finally warming up a bit, you were absolutely delighted to be able to keep your windows open again while you painted. The sounds of birds seeming to converse with each other and the wind rustling the newly grown tree leaves just did something for your creativity, and if the idea part of your brain was fueled so was your concentration.

You had just decided to let your newest painting rest for a little while so it'd dry before putting the finishing touches on it, just so you wouldn't smudge anything on accident, and cleaned off the utensils you knew you wouldn't need anymore.

Still "in the zone," you jumped a little when you heard the sound of something small colliding with something. You thought you were imagining it for a split second but, when you turned to the source of the noise, were shocked to find a small blue bird chirping defeatedly as it lied on your windowsill.

It appeared to look up at you, pleading for your aid while you scrambled for something to carry it with.

"Hang on little friend, I'll help you!"

You settled for a small, old washcloth with paint stains dried into it since it was the first thing you found. Though it seemed it was sufficient for the bird as it hopped onto it when presented with it, and you carefully placed it on your coffee table.

The bird looked around at its new environment for a moment before it turned to you again, and upon seeing your questioning expression, slowly stretched out one of its wings - now you were able to see clearly that a few feathers were missing, and that it was obviously in pain since the wing wasn't fully extended either.

You were smart enough to deduce that this birdie was attacked by something larger than itself, but you weren't quite sure how to care for an injured bird - never before was it something you needed to know, so you just figured you'd rely on the birdie for some form of feedback for now.

You signaled for your new little friend to wait while you disappeared into your kitchen, skimming your shelves for something you could feed it with before finding a small bowl of berries in the fridge. You assumed they'd suffice, and looked for the flattest bowl you had to fill it with water for the bird to drink.

With both of these in hand, you returned to the birdie and placed the bowls in front of it, "I wasn't sure what you'd like, so I just brought these..." You trailed off, pleased to see the bird bend over the water bowl to drink a bit before turning to the berries and sniffing them before starting to nibble at them a bit.

With the small blue creature occupied for a moment, you pulled out your phone to look up how to care for an injured bird.

You found various pieces of advice; most of it was obvious things like being slow and careful when interacting because it could get scared otherwise, and since the little birdie seemed quite accustomed to humans and in fact even "asked" one for help, putting it in a cardboard box didn't sound like something that'd be necessary.

You decided to simply figure it out on your own - every animal was different after all, and they always found a way to communicate their woes.

When you looked up again, the bird did in fact seem plenty content - it had tugged the edges of the washcloth into a small makeshift nest and settled to seemingly sleep a little. You got up from the couch as quietly as possible so as to not disturb it since it clearly needed the rest, and returned to your painting to finally finish it off - relieved to see that, by manner of some miracle, your paint hadn't dried yet.

You put your easel to the side to let the finished product sit for a while, cleaning the rest of your painting tools before returning to your bird friend.

"I feel like I should give you a name..." You muttered under your breath, watching the birdie preen in its colorful nest.

"What about, maybe... Hongjoong? Since you've very quickly become the center of my attention~"

A happy little chirp followed your suggestion, so now your avian pal had a name for you to call him by if you needed to.

Over the next few days, you had carefully relocated Hongjoong and his bird-sized "apartment" to the windowsill in your room so you were better able to keep an eye on him while you worked and sketched away on whatever sparked your inspiration - always making sure to keep his water and berries fresh, which the bird seemed to be especially appreciative of. You had heard that fresh berries were somewhat hard to come by in the wild as of late, so that probably had much to do with it.

You also read somewhere that lightly wrapping a bandage around a (pet) bird's wing could help it heal faster since it wouldn't be exposed to the elements as much, and you weren't entirely sure how effective it'd really be, but you still did exactly that.

Hilariously, Hongjoong seemed absolutely fascinated by the fabric - constantly stroking over it with his other wing as if to commit it to his memory. He also looked to have some sort of imaginary one-sided rivalry going on with the small jar of decorative blue rocks you kept on the sill, puffing up his chest feathers out a bit whenever they caught his eye.

These little habits, combined also with the quiet chirps and little dance he did whenever you gave him either new food or attention in general, endeared you greatly to your pint-sized roommate. It was then you understood why people enjoyed bird watching so much - it was the little things they did that set them apart and gave them the personalities they were often said to have.

You fully admitted that you were far from the most knowledgeable about birds, but it felt logical to conclude that whatever kind Hongjoong was must've been a particularly lively one.

You even played with him sometimes, as much as you could with an animal barely above the size of your palm anyway, humming made-up songs for him to pick up on and try to sing too. It didn't always work out perfectly but you could tell that he understood what you wanted him to do.

And if he just so happened to let out a particularly cheerful tweet whenever you called him "your little songbird," that'd stay between the two of you.

You were surprised to wake up one morning, another couple of days of caring for your birdie friend later, to find him struggling to tug off the bandage around his wing with his beak and letting out frustrated little noises. Gently motioning for him to let you help, you remained careful even in your still-sleepy state while you freed his limb from the offending cloth.

To both your and Hongjoong's apparent delight, he was now able to fully extend his wing again - it'd still take a bit of time until he would regain his ability to fly though, with his missing feathers not fully grown back yet.

"I'm so happy for you, Hongjoong! You'll be back out there in the nature where you belong in no time." Maybe you were imagining it, you were still quite groggy after all, but it looked to you like the birdie was almost... sad at the idea of leaving.

And he was. He had no real way of communicating it to you, at least for now, but he had grown quite accustomed to everyday life with you and felt reluctant to let go of this sense of normalcy he had never really gotten to experience before. In order to not unsettle you, he puffed himself up to look bigger and let out a happy cheep - he couldn't deny that he was, indeed, glad to be getting better; it felt quite restraining as a bird to not be able to do what you were quite literally known for doing, after all.

You had gotten so used to having Hongjoong around by now that time quite literally flew by while you cared for him as best you could as his flying feathers regrew.

When it finally looked like he would be fine on his own once again, after carefully helping him relearn how to fly after such a long time of not doing it, it was raining. You had caught the blue birdie staring out of the window wistfully, pecking the glass lightly with his beak.

"What's wrong, little songbird?" Your tone was gentle, inviting Hongjoong to simply ignore you if he wished to.

But he didn't. Instead, he turned his body to look at you and tilted his head a little, almost as if he didn't understand the question. Then, he blinked at you and bent to tug at the cloth beneath his feet with his beak - it took you a moment to realize what he was trying to do before you carefully ripped off a tiny piece of the fabric and tied it around one of his legs carefully.

Hongjoong chirped softly in response to the gesture, satisfied, and you smiled at him. Now you had a way of identifying him if you ever saw him again after he left.

If.

The next day came way too soon and felt way too real. Even though he could fly now, you insisted on carrying Hongjoong back to the window where you initially found him and set him down after opening the window as wide as you could.

He turned to look at you, motioning his head for you to lower yourself to his height. You giggled when he gently poked your cheek with his beak, similar to if he were giving you a kiss. You stood at your full height again, bowing your head at him as he did the same before his little feet tapped against the cold stone of the windowsill and brought him closer to its edge.

Hongjoong looked back at you one more time before flapping his wings and flying away - you watched him for a bit until he disappeared into the trees a little farther away.

You sat on the windowsill for an unidentifiable amount of time, holding out a sliver of hope that just maybe your little songbird would change his mind and come back to you.

But he didn't return.

Seconds turned into minutes, minutes turned into hours, hours turned into days, and days eventually turned into weeks. Weeks without Hongjoong. Weeks in a creative rut thanks to his absence. Your inspiration was just... gone.

You felt like ripping your hair out the same way your heart felt like it had been, but you knew that wouldn't help you either

One evening, you found yourself sitting at your bedroom window once more. You held your jar of rocks up into the air, having added some coloured plastic stars into it, watching intrigued how the light of the setting sun reflected off of them.

Then, you suddenly heard it. Birds chirping. You had conditioned yourself to be extra attentive to such sounds, even if you knew that still clinging to such an incredibly slim chance of being reunited was most likely a foolish, futile endeavor.

You refused to trust your own eyes when you spotted a certain blue bird with a colorful little bow tied around its leg.

Said bird paused midflight, chirping something to its friends who then promptly beelined for the nearest tree while the birdie itself dove down to land right in front of you.

"I can't believe it... Is it really you, Hongjoongie? My little songbird? I wasn't sure if I'd ever see you again..." You had to put in quite some effort for your voice not to shake, overwhelmed by the emotions flooding your being at being reunited with Hongjoong. He made a face - mildly insulted that you seemed to think he wanted to stay away from you - before hopping closer, nuzzling his head against your hand in answer.

A smile crossed your face in response, motioning to the birds outside in question. Hongjoong turned to face them again and cheeped an instruction of sorts to them as far as you could tell, then climbed onto your arm.

He jumped off to your side once you sat down on your bed, and you couldn't help but be confused to see him take a step away from you. He seemed to brace himself with a deep exhale, then you were forced to cover your eyes when a bright light blinded you for a moment.

When it seemed to have disappeared, you were beyond flustered - where the blue bird previously sat, there was now a young man sheepishly staring back at you. He looked to be in his early twenties if you had to guess, and a handful of feathers poked out of his bright blue hair - and when he lifted a hand to brush it out of his face, you could spot the cloth tied around one of his fingers that was previously around the bird's leg.

You were so stunned and taken aback by whatever the hell just happened that you hadn't noticed the birds frantically chirping outside, only really registering this when the mysterious man leaned forward to glare at them and caused them to quiet down.

It was then that he glanced down, letting out a sound somewhere between a gasp and a squeak when he realized he was fully bare, and tugged the blanket over to cover his lower half.

He finally lifted his head, meeting your eyes as you stared at him in dazed silence.

"Who- or rather 'what', really - are you? Am I dreaming?" Your voice was barely above a whisper as you spoke.

The man looked at you quietly for a moment as he comtemplated his words, "I.. am Hongjoong. You might not believe me, I know this sounds insane but... I'm a hybrid. Of the bird kind specifically, but that was obvious. My friends," he pointed to the group of birds appearing to bicker amongst themselves in the tree opposite your window for clarification, "are the same way."

He took a deep breath before speaking once more, "I understand if this is too much for you, if you want me to disappear from your life as quickly I came into it... I can do that... I just missed you and wanted you to know the truth..."

Hongjoong trailed off into silence, and you blinked at him before throwing your arms around him in a hug, "You're kidding, right?"

"Huh!?"

You parted to look at him with a wam smile, "Thank you for trusting me, truly. I may not know what it's like to be a hybrid like you at all, but I do know I care about you greatly. I'd be a fool to not want to have you with me."

Hongjoong immediately beamed at you in reaction, ecstatic.

"First order of business is to get you some clothes to wear in your human form, since I doubt you want to constantly walk around naked," Hongjoong blushed and gave a small nod of affirmation, allowing you to continue, "and then we can build a BIG birdhouse for you to hang out with your friends in. What do you say?"

A high-pitched happy sound left the blue-haired individual in response, and you laughed fondly as you pulled out your phone.

You showed him various men's clothes from your favorite store's website, and he pointed out all the ones he wanted. You balked a little at the total sum at the end, but couldn't resist Hongjoong's cute pout as you clicked 'order' with a small sigh.

You figured you'd just make sure to sell a few extra paintings to cover these expenses.

Only a few days later, the items had arrived and - to both of your delight, everything fit well even if you only roughly eyeballed the sizes he'd need.

Hongjoong had teased you when you offered to send back a couple of shirts that hugged his chest more tightly, saying that you probably enjoyed the view, and you wordlessly admitted defeat with a huff and let him keep everything.

That same day, you went shopping with him - but not before pulling a beanie over his head just in case - to get everything you would need to make a ginormous birdhouse for him and his friends. You had hesitated for a split second when you heard of how many there were but you made a promise, and so you found yourself working away with him for many hours until you were finally done.

Both he and his friends were overjoyed by what could only be described as a birdmansion.

You, on the other hand, were simply glad that your Hongjoong, your sweet little songbird, wouldn't have to give up on his previous found family just to be with you.

----- Taglist:

@nightqueennyx @twancingyunhao

#ateez fluff #ateez fanfic #ateez hongjoong fluff #ateez hongjoong fanfic #hongjoong fluff #hongjoong fanfic #hanatiny writes #[queued]

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juniormint1125 · 1 year

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It's All For the Best - Part 3

It’s All For the Best - Part 3

Kim Hongjoong x Reader

Summary: Reader and Hongjoong are in an established relationship when something unexpected tests the strength of their bond.

Word Count: Part 1 - 1,628 / Part 2 - 3,894 / Part 3 - 3,495

Genre: fluff, angst

Warnings/Contains:

Part 1 –allusions to sex

Part 2 - unplanned pregnancy, mention of abortion

Part 3

You wake in the morning and find Hongjoong sitting up in bed beside you. He’s staring out he window, your phone in his hand. He hears you stirring and turns to face you.

“Why do you have so many messages from Seonghwa, Y/N?”

You sit up. His tone is stern and there’s no humor in his expression. You feel like a child being scolded by her father. But you’ve done nothing wrong.

“He just wanted to talk. I already told him it would have to wait until some other time.”

“What does he want to talk about?”

“I don’t know,” you lie. You can’t tell him what Seonghwa actually wants. Hongjoong turns on you. He’s becoming exasperated with your vague answers.

“What do you mean you don’t know? I think you’re lying, Y/N. Something is going on here, I know it. What are you hiding from me?”

You thought you’d been a good liar, but he knows you too well. You try to compose yourself, but you stumble over your words. It only makes him more suspicious.

“I…I’m not hiding anything from you.”

“Damn it, Y/N.” He’s yelling, which is completely out of character. “Are you…are you seeing him behind my back? Is that why you didn’t want to…”

He stops. His face is clouded with hurt and dismay.

You’re baffled by Hongjoong’s response. You’ve never seen Seonghwa as anything more than a friend. And you would never cheat on Hongjoong. He’s the man of your dreams, virtually perfect in every way. Where he would have gotten such a ridiculous idea. And you tell him so.

“That’s insane.”

He jumps up from the bed, pacing beside it. You’ve never seen him as frantic as he looks standing before you now.

“I’m not crazy! I saw the two of you yesterday. The way he looked at you and the way…the way he touched you.” His face flushes crimson and he looks away.

“It was nothing, Joongie. I swear to you.”

His anger has turned to anguish. “If it’s really nothing, then why won’t you tell me? You’re keeping something from me Y/N!”

You are lying to him, but it’s not about Seonghwa. And you can’t tell him the truth because you’ll lose him. If you lose him, you’ll fall apart.

“There’s nothing going on between Seonghwa and me. Please, Joongie. I promise.”

“That’s bull shit!” he curses again. “I’ll just ask him myself. Since you won’t tell me the truth.”

“No!”

You panic and grab his arm desperately. If he asks Seonghwa, he’ll tell him the truth. He won’t be able to lie to Hongjoong and you can’t let that happen. He jerks away from you.

“Why not? Are you afraid he’ll tell me the truth? Are you afraid I’ll find out what’s really going on?”

“There’s nothing going on between us! Don’t you trust me?” You’re yelling now too. And frustrated that you can’t make him believe you. You’re lying, so you really have no right to expect him to trust you. You’re disgusted with yourself.

“Trust goes both ways, Y/N,” he replies bitterly. “If there’s nothing suspicious going on, you should trust me enough to tell me the truth.”

He’s dampening your resolve. You want to tell him the truth to keep him from calling you a liar and to keep him from thinking you’re a cheater. But you can’t let your secret out. You have to keep the truth hidden. He cannot find out that you’re pregnant.

You’re utterly defeated. “I do trust you, Hongjoong.”

“Then prove it,” he challenges you. “What does Seonghwa want to talk to you about?”

You hang your head and sigh. What if there could be a chance that you’re wrong? What if Hongjoong really would stay with you despite a baby he didn’t want? You start to speak, but the words are stuck in your throat.

“I guess that’s all the proof I need, Y/N.”

He throws on his clothes. You try to call to him, to stop him. You try to get up and run to him before he can walk out. But your fear of him finding out is too overwhelming and keeps you rooted in your place.

“Where are you going?” you finally manage to squeak out.

He turns to look at you before opening the door. “I need some space.”

When the door slams behind him, you burst into tears. The worst-case scenario has become reality and Hongjoong doesn’t even know about the baby yet. Nothing can make the situation better. There’s nothing that can stop his life from being ruined. Nothing except you leaving.

You wipe your tears with the back of your hand and muster all your courage to get out of bed. You spend the morning packing your things. You’re going back to Korea. You can disappear and everything will be fine. Hongjoong will get over you. He’ll never know about the baby. This is all for the best.

When you’re walking out of the hotel room, you call Seonghwa. He’s been calling you for the last two hours and you can’t avoid him any longer.

The phone rings and he immediately answers. “Where have you been Y/N? I’ve been trying to call you. What the hell is going on?”

“What do you mean?” you ask.

“Hongjoong. He came to my room enraged and yelling at me to tell him what’s going on between us. I didn’t know what he was talking about. He was furious and wouldn’t listen to anything I said. Thankfully Jongho was here. He talked him down and got him out of my room. What happened to him?”

“I’m so sorry, Hwa. I had no idea he would really do that.”

“You knew he was coming here?”

“He saw us talking yesterday. He thinks there’s something going on between us. I couldn’t tell him what we were really talking about. He threatened to confront you, but I didn’t know he would really go there when he stormed out.”

“He’s a complete mess, Y/N. You have to tell him the truth.”

“I can’t. And that’s why I’m leaving. I’ve already left the hotel. I’m on my way to the airport.”

“Where are you going?” he asks.

“I’m going home. When I get there, I’m moving out of our apartment. I can’t stay with Hongjoong. I’m ruining his life. He can’t do his job like he’s supposed to because of me. To make his life better, I’m taking myself out of the equation.”

“You’re just going to leave without telling him?

“I’ve already left. And anyway, what choice do I have? He can’t find out. Please, Hwa, don’t tell him that I’m pregnant. I need time to figure things out.”

He reluctantly agrees. “But you have to tell me where you’re going. You might be breaking up with Hongjoong, but you’re not breaking up with me.”

You hang up and ask the taxi driver to take you to the airport. Then you bury your head in your hands and cry all the way home.

Back in Korea, you cut ties with the entirety of your previous life. You decline Hongjoong’s calls and delete his text messages without reading them. It’s the hardest thing you’ve ever done. You finally change your phone number because you can no longer face seeing his name come across your phone.

As requested, you let Seonghwa know when you’ve finalized your move. He calls you every night after their concerts to check on you. And to tell you how miserable Hongjoong is.

Weeks later, it’s the last night of the tour, and you’re about to hang up when he turns serious.

“Y/N. You have to talk to Hongjoong. He’s in shambles. I don’t know how much more he can take. He’s going to break.”

“What can I say to make anything better? Anything he hears from me would be more lies.”

“Please, just tell him the truth. He still doesn’t even know you’re pregnant.”

“That most definitely wouldn’t help anything,” you reply sarcastically.

“Y/N, he loves you so much. He was devastated when you left. He hasn’t been eating or sleeping. He’s desperate to talk to you.”

“I just don’t think it’s for the best.” You hang up before you start crying. You’re bound to cry yourself to sleep later, so you try to hold back the tears for now.

Before going to bed, you get a message from Seonghwa.

“If you don’t tell Hongjoong by the end of the month, then I will. I care about both of you, and I can’t stand to see either of you like this. If you’re keeping the baby, then you have to be healthy. And I need Hongjoong to be able to do his job.”

Seonghwa’s words resonate in your mind. If you’re keeping the baby. In the weeks since you returned to Korea, you’ve come to the decision that you want to keep the baby. It’s the only way you can still have Hongjoong in your life. This baby is a piece of him and will always be a reminder of the love you two shared. You’ll treasure it, like you would have treasured Hongjoong if you’d had the chance.

Since you told Seonghwa your decision, he’s been bossier than Hongjoong. He constantly nags you about your health and he’s insisted on going to your doctor’s appointments with you when he gets back. He really is the best friend you could ever ask for.

You climb into bed and wonder if you should let Seonghwa tell Hongjoong the truth. He repeatedly reminds you how hard this has been on Hongjoong. It kills you to hear it. But you know it’s because Seonghwa wants you to decide on your own to tell. He knows you love Hongjoong and that you’re miserable without him too.

You toss and turn under the covers, eventually settling into a barely comfortable position. You’re sleeping is back to trash since you broke up with Hongjoong, and it takes a ridiculously long amount of time for you to fall asleep each night. There hasn’t been a single night that you haven’t cried yourself to sleep missing him.

When Seonghwa calls you the next day, he tells you that they’ll be landing in Korea at the end of the week. He wants to come see you once they’re settled in. Reluctantly, you agree. You know that it will be a painful reminder of your separation from Hongjoong.

Days later, when Seonghwa texts you he’s on his way to your apartment, you’re anxious about seeing him. He’s your last connection to Hongjoong, who you miss enormously. You never wanted to leave Hongjoong, but you did what you thought was best. You were certain you’d be able to live with your decision because you were looking out for Hongjoong’s best interests, but each day’s been harder than the last. You pray it doesn’t get any worse seeing his best friend.

Seonghwa smiles when you open the door. “Y/N!” he gushes. “I’ve missed you. Look at you! Your little bump is so cute!”

It feels strange to have Seonghwa gushing over you. There hasn’t been much cause for joy so far in your pregnancy, so his happiness strikes you as odd.

“Have you been doing well? Are you taking your vitamins? Have you prepared for your appointment? What time should I pick you up?” You laugh at all of his questions. “I’m sorry. It’s just that Hongjoong would want to make sure you’re taking care of yourself so…”

He stops when he sees your frown. You could only hope that Hongjoong would care that much about your pregnancy, but you don’t think that would be the case.

“Speaking of Hongjoong,” Seonghwa continues. “Have you thought anymore about telling him the truth. Now that we’re back from tour, it’s going to be harder for you to avoid him.”

“You’re the only one who knows where I am. Seoul is a big city. I’m not likely to bump into him on the street. I won’t be taking anymore translating jobs for the company, so there’s not much chance of us seeing each other. This is best for everyone.”

“I’m sorry, Y/N, but I don’t agree. He deserves to know the truth. You don’t know how he will react, he might…”

“No,” you interrupt.

Seonghwa sighs and drops the issue. But you know how strongly he feels about it, so the conversation isn’t really over. He makes plans to pick you up the next day for your appointment and you talk a while longer before he has to leave for a schedule. You hug him goodbye, then he turns to face you.

“It’s almost the end of the month, Y/N. One of us will have to tell him.”

You close the door and burst into tears.

The next morning, Seonghwa picks you up early.

“I thought you could use a snack before your appointment,” he smiles when you answer the door. The smell of fresh pastries and coffee fills your nostrils.

“You read my mind. I’m starving.”

He doesn’t talk much over breakfast. You know that he’s thinking of Hongjoong because you are too. You want more than anything for him to be the one with you, but you know that isn’t possible. You’re going to have to do this alone, so you push your thoughts of him away. It won’t do any good to wish for things that will never happen.

You’re nervous going into the appointment, but Seonghwa stays by your side to comfort you. You’re glad he’s there. His genuine friendship and kindness make the difficult situation bearable. After mounds of paperwork, you’re escorted down the hall for an ultrasound.

You’re caught off guard when the technician asks, “Are you ready to hear the heartbeat, dad?”

Tears threaten to overwhelm you. You look to Seonghwa, your eyes pleading for help. He quickly responds to the technician. Squeezing your hand tightly, he says, “Everyone can’t wait.”

For the first time since you found out you were pregnant, you feel something other than fear and dread. To this point, you’ve only thought of the baby as unplanned and unwanted. You’ve never really stopped to think about how you actually feel. It’s definitely not what you planned, but is it such a bad thing? It will be hard raising a child by yourself but you’re strong. And with his child, you can keep a piece of Hongjoong with you forever even though he’s no longer yours.

You squeeze Seonghwa’s hand back, finally confident in the decisions you’ve made. You’re going to be okay. You and your baby are going to be okay.

After the appointment, Seonghwa brings you home. You’re walking up the stairs to your apartment when he says there’s something he needs to tell you.

His voice is unsteady. “I’m sorry, Y/N. I sort of broke my promise. But…”

His voice trails off as you reach the top of the stairs. You lift your head to see someone standing in front of your door. It takes you a second to realize the thin, disheveled man pacing with his hands in his pockets is Hongjoong. You turn on Seonghwa in disbelief. He’s backing down the stairs as he whispers, “He found the test. I had to tell him.”

You suddenly remember the suitcase of dirty laundry with the positive pregnancy test stuffed in the bottom. In your haste to leave, you’d forgotten about hiding it there and it hadn’t crossed your mind since. A small gasp escapes your lips causing Hongjoong’s head to snap in your direction. There’s no escape now so you gather all the courage you have and walk toward him.

He looks exhausted, dark circles prominent below his bloodshot eyes. He’s lost weight, the gentle line of his jaw is too sharp, and his cheeks are too bony. Your heart pounds in your throat; you can’t stand to see him like that. You look away and walk past him, fumbling with your keys in the door.

You manage to get it open as he steps closer to you. The familiar scent of citrus and amber fills your nostrils. You grip the doorknob to steady yourself, your knees nearly buckling beneath you. Your eyes flutter shut when he whispers your name, and you nearly come undone when his hand touches the small of your back.

You try to make your voice hard. “What are you doing here Hongjoong?”

“Please let me come in.”

“That’s not a good idea,” you reply. You try to step away from him and close the door, but he grabs the handle and stops you. All your resistance melts away and you look into his eyes.

“Please,” he whispers again.

You step through the door, leaving it open behind you. He walks inside and after an eternity of silence, he speaks.

“Y/N, is it true? Are you really…”

You’re on the verge of breaking down. “Yes.”

“Then, why did you say…”

You’re shaking inside but you can’t let Hongjoong know that. You grip the chair beside you to steady yourself.

“Don’t worry. No one will find out. Seonghwa is the only one who knows where I am. And no one else knows about the baby. I won’t tell anyone it’s yours. And I don’t need anything from you. You don’t have to worry about this damaging your career. I promise, no one will find out. “

“Is that what you really think?” he asks in disbelief. His voice cracks. “Is that why you left me?”

“I’m not going to ruin your career,” you continue. “I know how much music means to you and I would never take that away from you. I’ll leave Seoul and I’ll leave Korea if you want me to. I promise I won’t…”

“Y/N, I’m so sorry.”

You’re puzzled by his apology. “Why are you sorry?”

“I’m sorry that I ever made you feel like my music was more important than you.” He reaches out to take your hand. “Nothing in this world matters to me more than you. And now you’ve given me this gift, and I’ve left you to go through all of this alone…” Tears slip from his eyes.

“What do you mean a gift?” you ask.

“The baby, Y/N.”

“But, I thought you didn’t…”

“I’d never thought about having kids before. But when Wooyoung said that I realized that I do want a family. And I want it with you.”

You can barely speak. “You do?”

“I do. When you told me you weren’t pregnant, I was crushed. But I didn’t say anything because I thought you were happy. Then I saw you with Seonghwa…I was so jealous. I know you never liked him, and I know it’s crazy, but I just thought that…”

“You thought what?”

“I just thought that maybe he was the reason you were glad you weren’t pregnant. Because you didn’t want a family with me. I thought you wanted…I thought you wanted Seonghwa to be the father.”

For the first time in a long time, you laugh. “Kim Hongjoong, that is the most ridiculous thing I’ve ever heard in my life.”

He blushes and hangs his head. “You know I get jealous sometimes, Y/N.”

“Kim Hongjoong. There is no one else in this world that I would want as the father of my child. I only love you. I’ll only ever love you.”

“Really?” He looks up. Tears are still shining in his eyes, but you’re certain they’re happy tears now.

“Really. I’m sorry I lied to you. I was wrong to hide it. I thought that if you knew I was pregnant, it would ruin your career. And then you’d blame me, because it’s my fault.”

“It’s my baby too, Y/N. We made it together.”

“But if this gets out, you know how people will react…”

“I don’t care what anyone says, Y/N. You and our baby are the only thing that are important to me. If I can’t have you in my life, nothing else matters.”

By the time he’s finished, both of you are in tears. He takes a step closer and motions toward your stomach. “Can I?” he asks quietly.

You nod and he places his hand gently on your tiny bump. He chuckles softly then looks at you. “Can you believe it, Y/N? We made this. We made life.”

You giggle. The amazement evident in his voice melts your heart. Hongjoong is everything perfect and more. You don’t know why you ever thought you had to lie to him or hide from him. You don’t know why you ever doubted him.

That night, as you lay in bed with Hongjoong, looking at the picture from your ultrasound, you’re content. Everything has finally fallen into place. After he turns out the light, you feel his lips press against your tummy.

“Daddy loves you so much,” he whispers.

#kpop #kpop fanfic #ateez #ateez fanfic #ateez fluff #ateez kim hongjoong #ateez hongjoong #ateez kim hongjoong fanfic #ateez hongjoong fanfic #kim hongjoong fanfic #hongjoong fanfic #kim hongjoong #hongjoong #kim hongjoong fluff #hongjoong fluff #ateez kim hongjoong fluff #ateez hongjoong fluff

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armysantiny · 2 years

Text

-[Hongjoong; soft bf headcanon

You could honestly take the ‘headcanon’ bit out tbh

He probably is a soft bf irl

Look at this man and try to tell me that I’m wrong

Anyway, enough of me professing my love for this man

Tat’s not what you’re here for

Joong is a whole ass sweetheart, and he never fails to make your heart burst

Just the softest lover you could imagine

His home and lock screen are both either a candid picture of you or you posing with one of his self-crafted jackets

Which he knows you look absolutely fabulous in, btw

Just has those moments where he watches you do your thing and thanks everything holy that he met you

You are his muse now and forever

When you’re understanding of his ‘3am-but-creativity’ moods and make sure he eats

He wants to propose right there and then

Dates are late-night coffee runs, craft sessions where you make each other jewellery, painting each other’s nails and movie nights

He fits into your arms so well and after a packed schedule there is nothing he looks forward to more than getting his y/n cuddles

He’s usually not the biggest fan of skinship, but he absolutely loves when you take his hand in yours

Your friends love this man

Not even in a playfully-jokey type a way too

Everyone genuinely loves Hongjoong

In fact they probably warned you about hurting him

Which won’t ever happen, but you get the picture

Your family adopted him the day you brought him home

He absolutely loves when you play along with members

They’re his second family and it warms his heart to see you getting along with them so well

Seonghwa gives him one of those approving smiles and it’s decided from there

You’re the one for him

He brings you to the studio for a surprise and gives you his headphones

What could he possibly want you to—

He’s made a song for you

It’s all about you; from the day you two met, your first date and—

Yeah, you are never leaving this man

Dating Hongjoong is the best thing that’s ever happened to you

Networks: @kwritersworld, @kdiarynet, @ultkpopnetwork, @whipped-kpop-creators, @prism-nw, @k-library, @knet-bakery, @kpclub, @ateezlovenet, @8makes1teamnet, @k-mysticsnet, @aandmlibrary

If you’ve made it this far, thank you for reading! Consider reblogging, leaving some feedback or donating to my kofi!

Taglist: @teeztheflag, @jeonqquk, @mikailo666, @moonieric, @babyboobean, @blonghoonie, @xavi-in-kpopland | Taglist form

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eightmakesonebraincell · 6 months

Text

ateez as royals who fall for you (hyung line)

read maknae line here

genre: royalty!ateez x fem!reader, fluff, angst, smut, crack, a brainrot and smutfest of royal tropes

length: 12.8k

c/w: very nsfw scenes - mdni, explicit language (dirty talk, swearing, insults), death, violence, blood & injuries, weapons, heavy & mature themes (sex work, murder, assassination, execution, mentions of misogyny)

a/n: this has simultaneously been the pride and joy of my life and the bane of my entire existence for the last 2.5 months 🥴 and tumblr is an inept incapable CLOWN who cannot handle the full 24k worth of bullet points so here is the hyung line first - maknae line coming soon (yumi @sorryimananti-romantic can vouch for my unsuccessful 3-hour attempt at formatting them into a single post)

hongjoong

pov: you're the king's royal courtesan

“fuck,” hongjoong lets out a deep growl from within his chest as his head dips down to rest against the crook of your neck. “you’re just as tight as last time”

when your hips involuntarily buck from the pleasure, he nudges your thighs further apart and keeps your wrists pinned above your head

he can’t help but let out another groan when he feels your walls clench around his cock as you adjust to his thickness

“i thought- god,” a moan escapes you after he thrusts his hips against you, “thought you never fucked the same woman twice”

“i don’t,” he simply says

and it’s true

hongjoong is one of the youngest princes to have ruled during the kim dynasty, having risen to power after the previous king succumbed early to an unknown illness

he has the choice and selection of all the courtesans available within the palace and outside its walls

hongjoong also has a reputation of being highly sought after by everybody, not just amongst courtesans

it’s not only because he is devilishly handsome, knows how to properly fuck somebody dumb, and is the literal king

the main thing that makes him so desirable and unreachable?

he never sees the same courtesan more than once

“yet here you are,” you hook your legs around hongjoong’s waist to gain leverage and meet his thrusts with your own hips, “between my legs for the second time”

you smirk when he curses and throws his head back

his grip on your wrists tightens and his voice drops dangerously low

“the first time doesn’t count because i was meant to see lady chae. so really, this is the first time i’m requesting for your services”

he silences you from retorting by pressing a bruising kiss against you, lips messily attaching to yours before trailing down the sharp angle of your jaw to bite your neck

you are a courtesan for people of nobility and royal status

part of the ‘house of flowers’ and commonly referred to as ‘flower courtesans’, you and the other women are highly-sought after for the companionship you offer

you are well protected by the house of flowers though - the services of companionship that you provide is requested by your client, but is ultimately accepted or rejected by you

lady chae, another of the flower courtesans and one of your closest friends, is requested by the king for her services

it is quite clear what it is going to entail and you both spend several of the following nights giggling and whispering scandalously to one another

whether the rumours about his stamina will be true

whether lady chae will be the first to break his one-fuck rule

except when the day of the meeting comes around, she spikes a sudden fever

lady shin, the head of the house of flowers, takes all but one look at her before ordering her to bed rest despite both of your attempts to, albeit unconvincingly, persuade lady shin that chae’s fever would only serve to help make the king’s dick warmer

lady shin is not amused to say the least

with the last minute hitch, the king agrees for you to be sent out to him as a replacement instead

and you end up being the flower courtesan who he breaks his reputed rule for

(lady chae is initially jealous, understandably)

(but very quickly, she appears to be even more excited than you are as she combs through your undergarments for the “sluttiest set” that she can find)

your attention is brought back as hongjoong flicks his tongue over your hardened nipples, continuing to drag his length in and out of you while your back arches off the bed

you tease in between short breaths, “are you really bringing up another woman’s name while you have your cock inside me?”

“you brought it up first,” he reminds you, accentuating his answer with timed thrusts

you grind your hips against his, chasing more friction against your clit as you feel your high approaching

“why?” he snakes one of his hands down between your connected torsos to rub messy circles against your clit, smirking as he asks, “are you getting jealous already?”

for that, you clench down hard on his cock, immediately feeling the way it throbs inside of you as you bring him closer to his orgasm too

“as if. fuck off”

your words are hardly audible from the whines that are leaving your mouth due to the added pressure of another finger against your clit from your retaliation

“i’m close,” hongjoong releases his grip on your wrists so that he can straighten his body, anchoring his hand on your hip instead so that he can fuck you and rub your clit with his other hand with renewed vigour

when you hear him groan, “cum for me,” the string snaps and your whole body quivers in his hold as your orgasm washes over you

hongjoong’s hips gradually stutter to a pause, an occasional thrust inside your clenching pussy as he milks out the rest of his cum inside of you

he finally eases himself out of you and hums in satisfaction as he watches his cum slowly leak out of you

hongjoong drops down beside you, toned chest covered in a sheen layer of sweat as it rises up and down with his pants

when your fuzzy mind has cleared a little from the blissful haze of your orgasm, he strokes his fingertips along the side of your thigh, along the curve of your ass, and over the dip of your waist just under your breasts as he says, “you better not be jealous. first one to get jealous loses”

“if anyone’s going to get jealous first, it’s you,” you scoff back

he raises an eyebrow

oh yeah?

he shoves his leaking cum back inside of you and fingers you to another orgasm

now that shuts you up

for a man who barks, he sure has no bite, because you find yourself being notified by lady shin several days later of yet another request for your services under the king’s name

and another request turns into another

and every single time, hongjoong makes sure that the only word leaving your lips for those many hours is his moaned name

but at the same time, the more you and hongjoong meet, the more he just savours in your simple companionship

he asks you to teach him how to embroider because you’ve mentioned before it’s how you like to spend your free evenings

he rifles through your bag of materials that you bring

you smack his hand away at the carelessness with which he’s upturning everything

“what’s this?” he holds up a large, wooden hoop before trying to fit it through his head, “a necklace?”

“i wonder if people know they appointed an idiot to be king,” you say as you gently unscrew the hoops and demonstrate how to align a piece of fabric between the rings

he watches with interest as you screw the outer hoop tighter until the fabric is nice and taut and then repeat the process so you both have one to work with

you have to help hongjoong thread his needle too, because apparently the king’s fingers are only good for scissoring you open

you weave your own needle through the fabric at a slow pace whilst telling him the different names and uses of the stitches you’re showing him

except, when you look up to see if he’s following?

his own hoop has been abandoned to one side and he’s leaning against his hand as he gazes cheekily at you

“were you even paying attention?”

he sounds a little too confident when he answers not at all

in return, hongjoong shows you how to write hanja the next time you meet

he positions himself behind you with his hand over yours as he guides you through different characters stroke by stroke

he claims that there are specific ways of applying pressure to the brush so he has to be holding your hand at all times

you most definitely roll your eyes several times but you indulge him anyway

there are a lot of giggles and teasing pushes when you accidentally dip the end of your sleeve into the ink and you try to spread it onto his robes too

(the calligraphy may or may not become forgotten when hongjoong pins you down to stop your cheeky behaviour, because things naturally escalate whenever he has you under him)

you two do eventually manage to finish one decent-looking scroll of characters which he ends up gifting you so that you ‘don’t forget’ about him when you’re not with him

when you walk back into the house of flowers, the hanging scroll perks lady shin’s interest as you walk past

“hongjoong taught me how to write my name today”

lady shin waggles her eyebrows at you suggestively because of how casually you refer to the king, for which you nudge her with a shoulder

she laughs then asks to have a look

you unravel the paper to show her but then she makes a funny noise

“that’s not your name? these are the characters for- oh,” she cackles scandalously to herself, as if she has made a secret discovery

“what does it mean?” you hurry to clarify

you wouldn’t put it past him to have taught you a crude phrase instead, like ‘best tits’ or ‘biggest ass’

lady shin lets out an amused exhale, handing the scroll back to you

“it says, my flower”

you’re looking at those exact characters from where you lay on your bed when a knock sounds on your door several days later

lady shin steps into your room with a warm smile as you greet her

“you have an appointment with lord min tomorrow, but the king has just inquired about your service availability for tomorrow,” she informs you. “would you like me to give him the usual answer?”

this isn’t the first time a clash has occurred, particularly with the increasing frequency with which hongjoong requests to see you

you have always told lady shin to ask for hongjoong’s pardon and to offer him an alternative time or day, because in the end, you still need to maintain a professional and admirable reputation as a flower courtesan

and as you open your mouth to tell her ‘yes’, your eye catches the scroll hanging on your wall

my flower

you hesitate

“actually,” you look away from the hanja, “i’ll see hongjoong.”

lady shin gives you a motherly smile as she nods in understanding and closes the door behind her

the next day you see him, he excitedly points out the large tambour frame in his room that he bought just a few days prior, claiming you two can work on a big embroidery patch together now

you give him one look then demote him back to the small embroidery hoop because he still hasn’t learnt his basic stitches yet

(that’ll teach him to not pay attention when you’re demonstrating, ha)

you relent and end up going through the different stitches with him again anyway

and you find that he’s actually not that bad with embroidery once he’s actually focused on the task at hand

it’s nice, basking in each other's presence while he threads his little square of fabric and you work with the large frame you have now essentially claimed as yours

not that hongjoong minds; he did buy it solely to make you happy

and then you offhandedly mention that someone had gifted you a handkerchief with your initials embroidered on one of the corners the other day

“i actually have it on me, in fact,” and you take it out from where it’s tucked into your waist so that you can show him

he juts out his chin as he peers down at the delicate letters, huffing, “it’s pretty, i guess”

then as an afterthought he tacks on, “bet i could do a better job”

“are you jealous right now, kim hongjoong?”

said man is hellbent on avoiding your eyes as he picks up his needle and thread again

“no i’m not!”

“whatever you say,” you smirk

after that day though, you don’t receive another request from hongjoong to meet until two weeks later

which, in the grand scheme of things, really isn’t much

but in comparison to the frequency at which you are used to seeing him, the frequency at which your body is used to having him, it is much too long

you are almost beginning to wonder whether you shouldn’t have brought up the handkerchief gift

yet, he greets you with his usual teasing squeeze of your waist, dangerously close to your ass

you make a move to follow him through the doors to his chambers but he turns around to produce a silk cloth

he starts to blindfold you, whispering sultrily, “i have a surprise for you”

you feel the hairs on the back of your neck raise at his tone

guiding you inside, hongjoong gently pushes you down so that you sink into the plush duvet of his bed

“do you trust me?” he whispers

trying not to dwell on the urge to lick your dry lips, you answer, “of course”

you feel him tugging slowly on the string that holds the front of your corset together, loosening your dress with tenderness like you are a fragile gift

you shiver when your shoulders are suddenly exposed to the cold air

and then the sensation is followed by the warmth of hongjoong’s soft exhales along the expanse of your collarbones as he leans closer to fully disrobe your shoulders

you have to remind yourself to keep breathing

“you can look now,” he tells you

you remove the silk cloth from around your eyes, unsure of what to expect

it takes a few blinks to readjust your vision to the room around you but then your eyes finally focus

and you gasp

there, hung on the wall with its striking viridian green, shimmering threads and intricate swirls on glorious display, is quite possibly the most stunning dress you have ever laid eyes upon

“try it on,” he encourages

but as you step closer, you realise the lacing across the front of the corset and running down the sleeves of the top dress is in fact, not lacing

it’s patchy

it’s uneven

it has empty areas

but it is no doubt embroidery

“did you…did you make this?” you reach out a hand to lightly caress one of the embroidered flowers, not quite daring to believe that hongjoong would go to these lengths for you

“of course,” he wraps his arms around you from behind and presses a light kiss against your temple, “i’m not losing to a lousy handkerchief”

“is that why you disappeared for two weeks?”

you let out a laugh, sinking into his embrace, because the image of the great king holed up in his chambers for days on end, hunched over your dress with a needle, thread and frown on his face is just too endearing

he lets out a warning huff as he turns you around in his embrace to face him

upturning his hands, he shows you the tips of his fingers and grumbles, “i poked myself so many times for you and you laugh at me?”

you bring his hands closer to your face, pressing light kisses to his fingertips as you smile, “thank you, joong. i love it so much, i really do”

he looks at you impossibly soft

under his tender gaze, something suddenly rushes to your very core

you hold one his hands steady in front of your lips then swirl your tongue out in an experimental lick over his fingers

it’s almost captivating how quickly his pupils dilate and zero in on your tongue

so you dare to bring his fingers into your mouth

you suck on them a little harder

a little deeper

and then you moan around his fingers, “i want you”

he lets out a groan himself, feeling the front of his breeches tighten as his cock twitches

“i- fuck, i didn’t give the dress to you in hopes that it would lead to this,” yet despite his words he is stepping you backwards so that he can pin you against the wall

“i know, but i want you,” you palm his growing bulge, your knees going weak at how hard he already is. “and i need you. now.”

he doesn’t need further encouragement

he shoves the remainder of your clothes aside before inserting his fingers roughly between your folds

it doesn’t take long for him to bring you to your first orgasm, curling his fingers relentlessly as you ride them

he spreads your cum over your pussy and you buck your hips with a whine when he circles over your clit briefly

then he’s turning you around and bending you over, one of your hands bracing against the wall, your other arm held behind your back by hongjoong’s firm grasp

“fuck, you’re so wet,” his whole body shivers with pleasure as his cock slips right into you

the obscene sounds of his hips slapping against your ass and your slick being pushed back into your hole over and over again fill the room

and to the clenching of your pussy from another orgasm, hongjoong also cums into you with a guttural groan of your name

he gently carries you to his bed and lays you on top of the covers

he leaves your side for a moment and you listen to him rummage through something while you try to regain control of your quaking legs

when he comes back, you feel him gently spreading your legs and then the ticklish sensation of a soft cloth along your inner thighs

a whine escapes your lips when he rubs over your sensitive clit and hongjoong grips your thigh a little tighter

“be careful what pretty sounds you’re making if you can’t handle another round”

it isn’t until he finishes cleaning you up and lies down next to you to start wiping himself down that you look over and realise what it is that he’s been using this whole time

your mouth drops in disbelief

when hongjoong notices your expression, he smirks, “the man who gave you this has no idea his handkerchief is being used to clean my cum off your thighs”

“hongjoong!” you flush with a laugh. “you are definitely jealous, aren’t you?”

“yes, i’m fucking jealous,” he growls, “you’re the only one i want. you’re the only woman i’ve been requesting for since i’ve seen you. and i want to be the only one who gets to have you, too”

you confess, “well, you can have all of me. because i’ve started refusing other people just for you”

he looks at you for another moment before he’s suddenly straddling your hips

“change of plans,” he says breathily, “i need you again”

“very good plan,” you grind up against him

and then you pause, mirth starting to bubble in your throat, “one last thing though”

hongjoong looks down with amusement in his own eyes, wondering what could possibly be so funny

“that handkerchief?” you start, struggling not to laugh when his eyes immediately narrow, “i never said it was from a man. it was a gift from lady chae”

seonghwa

pov: you're his royal guard

as soon as you notice the movement out of the corner of your eye, your body reacts straight away

you murmur seonghwa’s name with a tight voice and move to position yourself in front of him, unwilling to risk the prince’s safety

one of your hands grasps the hilt of your sword, ready to unsheathe it at the first sign of danger, as your calculative gaze darts between the two young men stumbling closer on the dirt path and the line of forest trees from which they appear

they are wearing simple tunics and breeches with their colour faded and seams loosening from wear

from what you can discern, they are simply commoners, but that does not rule out the possibility that they are bandits

seonghwa seems to think otherwise, though

unsurprising but still grating

the prince places his hand on your shoulder gently in a silent reassurance and request for you to step aside

albeit reluctantly, you force yourself to move to his left

it becomes clear to you as the two figures stop just shy of a few feet away that the term ‘men’ was pushing it - their faces are young and they appear to be no older than seventeen or eighteen

the young strangers dip their head in greeting, one of them apologising as well as he pulls out a tattered map that he extends out for you two to see

“my companion and i are traveling to the village norshaw but seem to have lost our way. would you be able to point us in the right direction?” the one with the map asks

“of course,” seonghwa offers with a kind smile

you watch as the three of them step closer together to look more closely at the map

on high alert, and just as you are predicting, you see the companion shuffle closer to seonghwa, hand inching towards the leather pouch that hangs from the prince’s belt

you catch the subtle motion of seonghwa’s eyes flickering down just an inch

because of how well you understand his body language, you know that it means he has already noticed the thieving intention

but because of how well you understand seonghwa, you know that he isn’t going to do anything about it either

so you strike in his stead

your hand darts out to snatch the thieve’s wrist, twisting his forearm upwards so that he is forced to lean awkwardly towards one side to prevent his elbow from snapping

his partner drops the map, letting out a string of curses and hesitating for all but three seconds before he turns around to flee

scoffing, you threaten the one who is still in your hold, who then bolts with his tail between his legs after you release him

"did you really need to scare them off like that? it's not like i had any money in the pouch anyway," seonghwa chastises with a chuckle

"yes," you deadpan. "i did not spend the last two hours of our trip pausing every fifty meters to wait for you to pick up a rock because you thought it looked pretty, only for them to be stolen by a pair of petty thieves"

"it would have been funny to imagine their faces after realising what they stole," seonghwa grins

“mhm,” you hum, “and the next thing you know, you’ll wake up to your palace ransacked, because word in town is that you can steal from the prince and get away with it”

he levels you with a boyish scowl, “you’re so dramatic. what are you, my mother?”

“no, but i am your royal bodyguard”

“exactly. you are my bodyguard, not my brainguard. if i am to be swindled of my pretty rocks, then so be it”

you roll your eyes out of exasperation, but everything is swiftly forgotten minutes later when you point out a heart-shaped rock and seonghwa rushes over to pick it up

it has been like this ever since the incident occurred - him, the sunshine; you, the sunshine protector

it has been almost four years since it happened

somebody had attempted arsenic poisoning of not only seonghwa, but also those working under him

you had noticed strange discolouring of the silverware in the kitchen and on the table serving his dinner, which prompted an investigation and subsequent discovery of the perpetrator

an act of betrayal and treachery by one of his closest relatives - his very own uncle

seonghwa was - still is - too merciful and tender-hearted to punish his uncle, even if the severity of his uncle’s crimes warranted execution

to have his trust broken so shatteringly hurt seonghwa more than if he were to actually have been poisoned

you still remember like it was yesterday; the sight of the prince slumped against the wall, weighed down by chains of turmoil and despair as whispers fly through the palace of the weak-hearted prince who is unable to deliver fair judgement

it is the sight of the prince looking so small and lost that drives your feet forward to stand before him

as the soft draught coming through the windows tugs gently on your tresses and the flickers of candlelight illuminate the glint of steel in your hand, you make a decision

“i’ll be your sword,” you pledge

not just as his royal guard, but as his haven when he is forced to face corruption and wickedness

and when you see the way his shoulders immediately sag with relief at your declaration, the way he nods like a child who has been reassured that everything will be okay, you tell yourself that seonghwa will never have to dirty his hands as long as you are with him

you will be the dark to his light; the yin to his yang

quietly, you see to it that his uncle is executed for his crimes - your statement to the rest of the palace that prince seonghwa is not to be mocked

neither of you bring it up again, but seonghwa knows

he pulls you into a wholehearted hug, arms enveloping you securely as his chest shakes with shuddering breaths of thank you over and over again

you rub your hand up and down his sturdy back soothingly

it is an action that simultaneously reciprocates his embrace and his crossed line of professionalism

one that starts the shift in dynamic between you both, boundaries of sought comfort blurring with friendship and then something more

where seonghwa is too trusting and too soft-spoken, you become his skepticism and his voice

“you should be more wary of others,” you always remind him

“and you should be more trusty of others,” he’ll retort

yet, he will never make a decision that does not receive your input nor one that you do not agree with

where seonghwa is too gentle and too humble, you become his sword and his shield

you do not waver when you strike down foe, and friends turned foe alike

you speak up and establish firm boundaries when others take advantage of the respect he shows everybody regardless of their class or status

and yet, if you find yourself on the receiving end of someone’s condescension or discriminatory treatment, be it due to your rank as a guard or identity as a woman, seonghwa will be advancing forward to defend you before you can do so yourself

where seonghwa is too innocent and too bushy-tailed, you become his eyes and his caution

your morning walks together always last for longer than they are scheduled for

he stops to watch every butterfly and bumblebee that flutters along the flowery path, and he waits for caterpillars to crawl onto a leaf that he holds by the stem so that he can move the critters off the pathway

you love to watch him and his glittering eyes, his cheeks rosy from happiness and from the air still crisp with morning dew

but you also make sure to watch his surroundings with greater vigilance because the quiet peace that the freshly awoken sun brings simultaneously increases the likelihood of a targeted attack against him

as much as you rib him for being a marshmallow personified, however, and as much as he banters back that you are more than welcome to resign at any time, neither of you want it any other way

seonghwa carries out a lot of gestures that he justifies to himself as being eternally grateful for you and the things you do for him

he likes to gift you flowers he has plucked from his garden or the bushes he walks past that remind him of you

(“that’s actually just a very pretty-looking weed, but thank you, seonghwa,” you tell him on more than one occasion)

(it’s adorable, because the next time he finds a flower, he goes to the length of certifying that it is indeed a flower with the merchant who sells bouquets in the nearby town before presenting it to you, eyes gleaming with pride)

you stand still and let him tuck a flower behind your ear, sometimes braiding your hair gently so that he can weave and secure the stem into your hair, holding your breath as his features fill with the same enrapturement that he would admire a beautiful artwork with

after you voice this out one day, seonghwa supposes to himself that there is not much difference between an artwork and you

not that he’s attracted to you or anything - you just…have an objectively attractive face

yes.

especially when your usually-piercing expression is softened by fatigue, guard no longer up as you sleep slumped over a desk while accompanying him during his late night of studies

he does not realise his feet have moved until he is right beside your resting form, as if the soft exhales escaping from your slightly parted lips are a siren’s song

seonghwa tenderly brushes your stray locks away from your face and behind your neck

except he forgets to account for the fact that you are trained to sleep on the brink of consciousness

the squeal that leaves his mouth when your reflexes kick in and you almost slit his throat resounds at a frequency so high you almost believe it comes from your own mouth

you have a grand time watching his beet red face stutter out an excuse as to what exactly he was doing so close to you

needless to say, that is the last time seonghwa ever tries to do anything while you are sleeping

but as much as he bumbles around, he also reveals his perceptiveness when you least expect it

like now, as you accompany the prince to one of his meetings with numerous advisors and ministers

it is relatively dull and uneventful, mostly a cordial appearance to maintain amicable and loyal relationships with his subjects

conversation is limited to pleasantries and at one point, seonghwa even points out the calligraphy paintings hung at the back of the room

everyone nods with throaty laughs as if the paintings are indeed the most exquisite and tasteful artworks they have ever laid their eyes upon

when you and seonghwa arrive back at his chambers following the conclusion of the meeting, he walks over to his bed and shakes the sleeves of his robe over the expanse of his duvet

and out drops a neatly-wrapped sweet, followed by another, then another, until there are enough to amount to two handfuls

baffled, you look at seonghwa, because these are the very same treats that had been plated on the tables during the meeting

“you smuggled candy out of the room?” you try to keep the amusement out of your voice

he peers into his sleeves to ensure there are no more stragglers, before turning to face you as he waves his hands over the small collection of goods on his bed

as if they are-

“for you!” he exclaims almost proudly. “i saw you eyeing them during the meeting so i took some for you”

okay

most definitely proudly

you feel something tickling you from within, as if he has reached through your chest to directly caress your heart with a delicate finger

“when did you even…” your voice trails off when it comes out a little fonder than you are expecting it to

“remember the paintings i pointed out?” seonghwa giggles, and you think that the hand in your chest is now cradling your heart completely. “i swiped the sweets when everyone was looking back at them”

“thank you, hwa,” you settle on saying, because you do not trust yourself to say anything else

that is more than enough for him, though

which, of course it is - this is seonghwa, with his huge heart that fills easily with the smallest of things

he eagerly hands you one of the treats and you unwrap it to place into your mouth

you’ve had these before, but this one that he has specially grabbed for you tastes remarkably sweeter

you wonder if his lips will taste the same…

but then you accidentally bite your tongue, hard enough to draw blood, and you realise just how wrong you are for letting those fleeting thoughts into your mind

because while you navigate the world in thick droplets of red and sharp glints of silver, seonghwa sees the world in soft hues of pastel and gleaming rays of yellow

how could the two palettes ever blend together harmoniously?

so instead, you grant yourself one last moment of selfishness and pull him into a hug, a gesture that toes the already shaky borders of professionalism yet can still be excused under the guise of friendship

you realise that he has always meant much more to you, but that is what this will stay as - a mere realisation

seonghwa wraps his arms around your form as he relaxes into the way your bodies naturally meld together

it’s strange how easily you slot into his life, his thoughts, his heart

he wonders whether it’s possible for feelings of appreciation to run so deeply and potently within somebody, like a drug that he cannot get enough of

and when you take a step away from him, leaving his chest feeling physically and emotionally empty, he wonders if he is perhaps…

in love with you

following that incident, it is almost as if a switch flips - both of you take several steps away from the line that has been danced around

but neither of you notice the distance because you are both consumed by your own thoughts

until one of your usual morning walks around the castle walls of his palace

seonghwa is wondering whether the bushes you walk past remind you of the flowers he used to gift you and you are debating whether to reach out to brush a petal out of his half ponytail

then, like deja vu, your eyes flicker towards the burst of movement as a figure covered in black comes darting forwards with their blade raised intended for murder

you immediately start to unsheathe your sword, feet poised and prepared to defend-

until you are harshly tugged back and the prince steps in front of you to parry the strike that the assassin tries to land

it takes your lifetime of training and experience to snap back into focus and thrust your sword into the enemy’s exposed side

when you are sure he is dead, you whirl around to descend upon seonghwa with a voice trembling from both anger and relief

“what in the world were you thinking?” you yell

“i-”

taking a step forward, you toss your sword to one side, “no, actually. you weren’t thinking at all”

“i was afraid that you would get hurt!” he takes his own step closer

“that is my duty!” the volume of your voice raises even more. “i am willing to lay down my life to ensure your safety! i have been guarding you for years now and you have never acted this way. what has changed?”

for a moment, the only sound that punctuates the silence is your harsh breathing

seonghwa swallows

“my feelings…” he whispers, a stark contrast to the peak of emotions you have been riding. “my feelings for you have changed”

your throat tightens at his words

it is your turn to whisper, a noise of confusion leaving your lips

he takes another step closer, bringing himself to stand right in front of you as he looks down earnestly into your eyes

“i’d rather be the protector, and you be the protected”

“but…why?” your heart races with anticipation

“because i’m in love with you”

right at the invisible border that has been separating you two for as long as you have been his guard, seonghwa now stands, hands wringing together as he awaits a response

“then that makes the two of us,” you confess

you step forward to take your familiar spot on the other side of the line, except this time you do not stop

you stride over the boundary completely to stand by his side

raising yourself onto your tiptoes, you pull him down slightly by the front of his doublet so that you can press a chaste kiss to the corner of his lips

it stretches wider and curves upwards under the nurturing of your own smile

you can’t help but give him another kiss on the other side of his mouth to match the one you just gave him

“from now on,” seonghwa starts, “i’ll be your sword”

you wouldn’t really, and you will fight him to let you continue being his guard, but that doesn’t stop one last teasing question from escaping you

“does this mean i get to retire?”

yunho

pov: you're part of a rebel group

the crown prince is not in his fucking library

for the past three weeks, the crown prince has always been in the royal library at night

until today

under normal circumstances, his royal guards and staff would be alerted to ensure that the deviance in routine is a conscious decision and not an issue of the crown prince missing

except doing that would make your job significantly harder…

considering you have been ordered to assassinate him.

you’re part of the ‘red sun’, a revolutionary movement aiming to overthrow the current monarch

following the debilitating state of the king after falling ill and the subsequent coronation of queen jeong into power, she has since then established numerous royal decrees to keep everyone under her reign on a tight leash

a leash made of barbed wire

people are quick to become resentful and thirsty for an end to the dictatorship and bloodline

although he has made limited public appearances, the crown prince has also developed a reputation rivaling the queen’s

within the second year of the jeong dynasty, red sun has already amassed a multitude of supporters

the focus is currently on growing in numbers, preparing for an imminent revolution and picking off corrupt royals and noblists, be it through incrimination or assassination

dealing with those in positions of higher power is a task only completed by an elite selection of red sun rebels who have distinguished skills and traits that set them apart from peasants and commoners

and you are amongst the elite team

which is why you find yourself staking out on the tiled roof of the imperial palace, clothed in black with a mask and hooded cowl covering your face that blends you in with the darkness of night, on the orders of a higher-up to assassinate the crown prince

except the target is missing; the information you were given is wrong

which never happens

you can’t risk staying around for much longer, especially now that the crown prince has broken his routine

he could be anywhere and so could his royal guards

you shift your body to a crouch and place your hands on the cool tiles beneath you, ready to leave

only to spot a figure, crouched just like you are, on the opposite side of the roof

their face is a black hole of nothing within the shrouded confines of their hood, but you can feel their gaze piercing into you all the same

you run

you scramble to the edge of the roof and nimbly leap off the curved eaves to the neighbouring structure of the study room

when you glance backwards, you see the man - physique now obvious - is keeping up easily along the stepping stones of roofs

this game of cat and mouse isn’t going to work for long

if you don’t get caught by him first, you’re both going to get caught by the palace guards

so you make a split decision and alter your next trajectory lower

keeping your arms outstretched for the eaves, you grab on tightly when your fingers touch the edge of the roof and use your core to kick your legs up to stop your body from slamming into the wall from the momentum of your jump

you let go and drop to the ground like a feline, noiseless, and slink towards a line of trees

then you wait

he’s good, you note to yourself, when the only sound that alerts you to his presence is the quick scuffle of his feet as he softens his impact against the wall and the muted thud of his body landing on the ground

“state your purpose,” he demands, voice low yet firm

you ignore him to ask, “who are you?”

now up close, you can see that the man is wearing attire almost the same as you are, identity also hidden by the his bandana and hood-

wait

even the dark red stitching that subtly replaces the original seam on the right shoulder of his outer clothing is the same

the same as those on the elite team

“one of you,” he confirms your suspicions

except you don’t recognise his voice nor his build

being one of the earliest members of the rebel organisation, you are familiar with all the members who carry out missions like yours

he is not one of them; not one you can trust yet

when you don’t speak, he adds on, “we need to go. the safehouse might be in danger”

he refers to the two of you so easily, as if you and him are an unspoken team

you cannot trust this man until you know for sure he is part of red sun, so you ask him

“when is red most beautiful?”

it is a vague question with a fixed answer

one that reflects the heart of the revolutionary itself

during the sunrise of a new beginning

“during the sunrise of a new beginning,” the man says resolutely

the tension releases from your shoulders

“okay,” you opt to abandon your original mission. “let’s check on the safehouse”

the man offers you a hand to hike yourself up onto one of the outer walls of the palace before he jumps up himself with ease

you both flip over the top and land in unison

the moon illuminates the ground beneath your feet as you both sprint into the surrounding forest

the safehouse is really just a small hut situated far enough from the palace to stay inconspicuous, yet not close enough to the outer borders of the kingdom to risk discovery by the frequent border patrols

you both slow down as you approach the clearing, steadying your breaths and treading with cautious steps

and then you hear it

the shattering clang of a desperate parry

all it takes is a quick glance at the man by your side before your eyes harden with purpose and your steps are dashing in unison towards the hut

you’re both hit with the smell of a metallic tang in the air, and it’s not from your drawn swords

bursting through the door, you quickly take in the scene before you

several red sun members are scattered around the hut and slumped in varying degrees of injury

it’s easy to spot the intruder; they’re yanking their sword out of a body’s torso as they simultaneously turn to look at you

and it’s hard to miss the royal insignia of the jeong monarch on their chest plate

you have the element of surprise

but only for the next few seconds

you leap forward with the thud of footsteps of your partner following almost immediately, side-stepping once you close the distance to dodge a haphazard swing

there’s a brief break in defense when the enemy tries to aim for another strike that leaves the gap in the side of their armour exposed

you feel the slight resistance of your sword entering flesh as you thrust it forward into them

except when you try to tug it back out, a hand grasps your own and the hilt of your sword, stopping you from stepping away

the enemy has realised they are not going to make it out of this alive

but if they are to die, then they are going to take one last person with them

you.

you see glint of metal as they use their other hand to swing their sword down onto you, only for it to be deflected at the last second by another sword

the man you have met for barely an hour is now at your side with his towering protectiveness

in one smooth kick, his long leg sends the other careening into the wall of the hut with a mighty slam

you feel yourself jerking forward from the enemy’s grasp still on your hand

but the man next to you quickly tucks you into his side before you are also sent sprawling

“check on the others,” he briefly says, and then he is striding towards the fallen intruder

you only spare him another quick glance and then you rush to the nearest figure on the ground

you go around checking for pulses, and for those who are still breathing, the extent of their injuries

there are several casualties but nowhere near as many if you and the man had not come to check on the safehouse

which suddenly makes you pause in your tracks

how did he know about the attack in the first place?

you stretch your legs from their squatted position next to one of the red sun members and turn around to confront him

except…the man has disappeared

and so has the intruder’s body

days later, the question of whether you will chance upon the man again tonight flits through your mind when you find yourself perched in the very same spot on the tiled roof of the palace that gives you a clear view of the royal library

you have received another order to assassinate the crown prince as soon as you see the opportunity arise

this time, the note is accompanied by a cyanide capsule, a non-verbal message that this mission is to occur with your life on the line

you spot him

he’s preoccupied by the scroll in his hand as he makes his way through the shelves of parchments

you wait until he’s walked far enough into the library before you drop down from the roof, keeping your stance low to ensure you stay hidden as you silently move closer

you take out the jagged dagger from its sheath by your waist as you anticipate it will be too difficult to wield your long sword in the narrow aisles

and there the crown prince stands

he has his back to you, exposing him to your mercy

mercy that you have no intention of showing him

the cruel heir to the throne of an even crueler dictatorship deserves none

“it’s you again, isn’t it?”

you freeze

the crown prince still has not turned around to address you, but you can feel the dark gaze of his eyes on you as if he were looking at you

“you were here a few days ago”

fuck

how he knows you have no idea

what you do know though is that you have about two seconds to make a move before you lose this chance to assassinate him completely, and quite possibly, lose your life as well

the pill you have hidden in the breast of your tunic feels heavy

“you are part of red sun, are you not?”

this time the crown prince does turn around to face you, but it isn’t the nonchalance with which he reveals your identity that makes your head reel

it is the warmth and softness in his gaze and the hint of a smile on his face that does

what the actual fuck

you’re convinced that the crown prince is not only heinous, but also batshit crazy

“i am,” you spit out at him, “with orders to assassinate you, in fact”

his mouth thins into a tight line, “the orders you have received are false”

“sounds exactly like something a crown prince would say to avoid being assassinated,” you scoff

but then his next words change everything

“red is most beautiful during the sunrise of a new beginning”

before you have time to fathom the bomb that has just been dropped, your heads swivel simultaneously towards the entrance of the royal library when a voice calls out for the crown prince

“hide,” he hisses urgently

and then he’s stepping further away to conceal your presence as best as possible

you hear the shuffle of footsteps approaching before they stop, dangerously close to where you’re crouched behind a bookshelf

“apologies for interrupting your time, crown prince,” they say

from where you are you can see the crown prince’s expression clear as he lets out a small huff, “i have told you many times to just call me yunho”

“of course, crown prince yunho”

even though you can’t see the other person’s expression, you can hear the amusement in their voice

they continue, “i have the information you have requested for”

“thank you,” you see him - yunho - receive a small scroll. “the queen does not know?”

“no, i made sure to be as discreet as possible”

yunho thanks the other once again and your eyes nearly fall out of their sockets when he bows his head in appreciation as he dismisses them

is this the same crown prince as the rumours?

and what is he doing behind his mother’s back?

you don’t realise you’ve been staring dumbly at him until he’s back in front of you with amusement on his face

he stands tall and proud, robes accentuating his stature and nobility

“who exactly are you,” you dare to ask

your voice is small - you feel small, crouched at his feet like a stark physical representation of the power he holds over you

but then he takes yet another step closer and kneels down so that your eyes meet at the same level

“i am the leader of red sun. the creator of the whole revolution”

your ankles actually do give out at that and you have to seat yourself on the floor

because how is any of this possible?

you must have voiced your thoughts out loud, because before you know it, yunho is crossing his legs and making himself comfortable on the floor right in front of you

it makes you feel so strange

the crown prince’s willingness to make himself an equal before you - and even to his staff from earlier

yunho starts to explain

a change in monarch, particularly one of such dictatorship, requires massive momentum and synergy; something he cannot produce alone nor without the support of the people

thus, red sun came into existence for the exact same reason you and all the other supporters have joined

in hopes of a sunrise one day that marks a new beginning

a new leadership

except recently he has had growing suspicious of the presence of a traitor within the organisation, which were confirmed the night the safehouse was attacked

“that night…that man was you,” you realise, “and that’s how you know who i am”

he nods, “and that’s also how i know your orders are false.” yunho nudges you playfully with his knee, “pretty sure i never ordered for my own assassination”

yunho continues to explain that he had taken the intruder back for interrogation, but then you frown when he reveals the enemy had swallowed a suicide pill before any information could be gained

he has an inkling that someone in a high position of power is involved, since the pills are almost impossible to gain access to, but it cannot be ruled out as a coincidence

“hang on,” you pull down the top of your tunic in a hurry

yunho scrambles to cover his eyes and turns his head as he jokingly sputters out, “woah okay, this is moving a little fast don’t you think?”

you tug impatiently on the sleeve of his robe, telling him to look

yunho hesitates for another second before lowering his hands and realising you have-

“a suicide pill?”

you look at each other, because this can only mean one thing

the pills are not a coincidence; the enemy is much closer than yunho would like

you’re both unsure how much time there is until the traitor decides to order someone else to assassinate yunho, or worse, decides to finish the job off themselves

but from that very night of discovery, you and yunho work together incessantly against a ticking time bomb

it’s a delicate balance between finding as many leads as you can and spreading out your investigations to stay under the radar

yunho tries to look further into the cyanide pills while you try to uncover any information regarding the order you had been given

whoever is behind it all has kept their tracks hidden well

there isn’t much to report from either of your ends whenever you sneak into the palace to meet up with yunho

but he makes it very hard for you to feel discouraged when he makes your meetings seem like casual catch ups between - you dare say - friends

you have yet to catch him by surprise whenever you drop down from the roof in front of him in an attempt to scare him; he has an uncanny ability to sense your presence

except, you think you prefer being unsuccessful, because your indignant grumbles never fail to bring out his toothy grin and an excited body jiggle

other times he is the one trying to fluster you

“remember that time you literally tried undressing yourself in front of me-”

“i was taking the pill out to show you!”

you bring your thumb and index finger closer together in front of your face and squint at the gap

“i am this close to changing my mind and assassinating you after all”

he gets a kick out of it, pretending to beg for your mercy, “oh please spare me, your majesty”

other times, yunho teases you for always keeping your cowl and mask on

“bet it’s because you’re ugly or something,” he jokes

and you bite back that he had his face covered too when you both met, so you’re one to talk, ugly

“but since then i’ve always shown you my face as the crown prince. you can see me nice and clear,” he suddenly leans forward, so close you can see the dip of his cupid’s brow. “what do you think about me now?”

you swallow hard

you’re glad you have your mask on because you can feel your face rapidly heating up

“i think…” you gently cup his jaw, “you look better with your mask on,” as you nudge his face to the side

you cannot help but join in with your own chuckles at his laughter and boyish glee

and eventually, you two have a breakthrough

yunho manages to trace the cyanide back to a traveling merchant operating under the guise of selling rare herbs and medicine

in the transaction ledger, there is an unusually large purchase under the name of ‘lee minjun’

“i’m sure i’ve seen the name before somewhere, but i can’t remember where,” yunho huffs

you let out your own huff at his elbow that has very naturally taken a rest on your shoulder

pulling out a stack of paper, you spread it out onto the table before you two

they are past records of certain red sun missions that, upon looking back, seem suspicious

“i noticed a mark on a couple of them, a drawing or character perhaps? except none of them are fully intact. it’s almost like the paper was accidentally marked”

you point them out to yunho in hopes that he will have a better idea

he doesn’t - not at first

not until he chances upon two that vaguely align with each other to form a clearer image

“this-” yunho runs his hand through his hair, “this is butler lee’s stamp. my father’s butler.”

the king’s butler?

lee?

your eyes snap to yunho’s, just as his meet yours

“lee minjun”

you sink back in your seat

there’s now definite proof that the king’s butler is at the very least involved

the question of why and what for remains

in fact, you and yunho would not put it past the queen either to be involved too

there is a long moment of shared silence as you both mull over what this means for the future

yunho breaks the silence first

“after this all ends…do you want to work for me, officially?” he clears his throat, “will you stay by my side?”

after this all ends

you two must still uncover butler lee’s motives; likely part of a much grander scheme involving queen jeong too

you two must still bring down the whole monarch; with the support of red sun, yunho needs to sit on his rightful throne

the sun has yet to rise but you can see the faint hues of orange and twilight blue in the horizon

the new beginning is close

and at that, something in you relaxes

crumbles and disintegrates with utter relief

“it would be my honour to stay by your side forever, yunho”

and then you are removing your hood and mask, daring to breathe and feel alive and hopeful for once

ironically, yunho chokes on air

you glance at him to find that he is unable to meet your eyes

you think your eyes are deceiving you because-

the tips of his ears are a glowing red

you could definitely get used to seeing the usually calm and collected crown prince become a shy, blushing mess

the corner of your mouth rises with smugness, “like what you see?”

“you should really keep your hood and mask on,” he mumbles

“and why is that?” you humour him

he finally looks at you

and when he sees the shit-eating grin plastered across your face, his shoulders suddenly fill out again with confidence and cockiness to match yours

“because,” his voice deep and flirtatious, “with a pretty face like that, you’re going to distract me from my duties”

yeosang

pov: you're in an arranged marriage with him

ever since you could understand the words coming out of your parents’ mouths, you have known that you will be married to yeosang

it just made sense

for the respective princess and prince of two powerful kingdoms to join together, leading to increased power and stronger allies

it is tradition for the pair to meet their chosen spouse for the first time only when both parties have turned sixteen, and even then, subsequent meetings are rare until the time of the actual wedding

so you spend the first sixteen years of your life infatuated with the idea of your prince charming - of prince yeosang - wondering what he looks like, what his personality is like, and how you two will fall in love

and when you finally reach that long-awaited first meeting, prince charming is everything and more than what you have envisioned

if angels with broken wings were exiled to earth, they would look like yeosang

he is soft-spoken and slightly reserved, as any awkward teenager meeting their future spouse would be, but you don’t miss the way that his eyes overflow with adoration and his shoulders shake with exuberant giggles whenever his little sister, yeoreum, comes tottering into the room

he always bends down onto one knee to match her eye level, uncaring of the stains that mark his pants even as his mother narrows her eyes in disdain, and he listens with utmost sincerity when yeoreum tells him about the secret pink and glittery fairy she spotted in the courtyard

they remind you of the relationship you share with your own little brother, juwon, who is barely half your age and height, yet has you wrapped around his little finger

you lean down closer with a hum at the soft tug on your dress to hear your little brother whisper conspiratorially into your ear, “he looks stupid”

if looks could kill, yeosang would be dead right now

you stifle a laugh as you flick juwon’s chin affectionately at his sudden display of childish jealousy

if anything, you’re pretty sure you are the one who looks stupid

stupidly in love

because walking away from that first meeting with yeosang and his family, you know that you are absolutely smitten for the prince

unable to quell the restlessness of having to wait until the next unforeseeable meeting, you pick up a quill that very same day you return to your palace and start writing

it takes you all night, the gentle gleams and winks of the stars keeping you company until they rotate shifts with the songs of the waking world

but by the time you have crossed out and scrunched your way through rolls and rolls of parchment paper, you are satisfied with the letter you have written

the letter addressed to prince yeosang, which you task eunju, one of your maids, with passing it to the royal couriers for delivery to the kang palace

it is a simple letter, thanking him for the enjoyable day, yet it holds the deeper message that you are interested in him and would like to become better acquainted before your marriage

you wonder whether his cheeks will flush a pretty red as his butler hands him your letter

whether he will trace his fingers delicately over the curve of your words

whether he will bite back a smile as he pictures you saying the words to him

two weeks pass, and you approximate the letter to have just been delivered to his kingdom

and although you desperately wish for him to immediately sit down with a quill in hand to pen out his reply, you wait and give him a week before you eagerly start counting down the days until the arrival of his letter

your whole life you have been able to wait patiently

you wonder what has changed now that mere weeks feel like an eternity

the day yeosang’s letter is due to arrive, you are sporadic bursts of giggles, twirls and skips throughout the palace

even juwon is starting to become sick of getting swept up into a crushing hug to the cheery tune of i loveee youuuu every single time you pass him

nothing can bring you down from cloud nine

only…the letter never comes

not the day after, not the week after, not the month after

you’re disappointed, of course, but you busy yourself with reasons why yeosang has not replied, and you don’t give up

you send him another letter, and then another, and another

sometimes you just tell him about your day - what made you smile, what made you sad, something interesting you saw, something your little brother said

other times you tell him about yourself - your hobbies, likes and dislikes, aspirations, fears

and you also wonder about him

you ask what he likes, what he smiles at, what makes him sad, what his dreams are

with each letter that you hand over to eunju to be delivered, it becomes harder and harder to stay optimistic - not even the words of encouragement from your favourite maid lifts your spirits

you continue like this for over a year, still yet to receive a reply

until-

you do.

it feels like you are brought back to that very night of your first meeting, feeling so very alive as hope and excitement cascade into your body the moment eunju hands you a letter with a smile

with shaking hands, you fumble to unpeel the wax seal and free the envelope’s contents - a single piece of paper, neatly folded

your mind races with anticipated words and explanations

perhaps he had been too shy to reciprocate your letters earlier

or perhaps your letters had been lost in transit

you unfold the parchment as the hairs on your skin raise in anticipation, only to find it blank save for one scrawled sentence in the middle of the paper-

stop sending me letters.

and just like that, the clock strikes twelve

your carriage reverts into a pumpkin

and your carefully curated story of prince charming disintegrates into ashes

you don’t write to him again.

years later, the stacks of parchment scrolls on the wooden desk of the guest room you are currently residing in feel like a fresh slap in the face each time your eyes land on them

they are a stark reminder of your very own letters, the cold rejection you received, and the irony of the only letter you ever received again following his being one from the kang monarchs, announcing the proceeding of the royal wedding between you and their son

now, only a few days newly-wed to yeosang, the king and queen are gracious enough to let you sleep in one of the guest rooms temporarily, under your claims of adjusting to a life in a new kingdom and as a wife

really, you are trying to avoid yeosang for as long as you can

you spend your time instead getting to know his little sister better, which is why you find yourself sitting side by side with yeoreum, legs dangling off the edge of your bed

she eyes the vase of flowers on your bedside table curiously, “did you buy that?”

“no,” you reach out to touch the baby’s breath, “someone delivered it to my room”

you had offhandedly mentioned to some of your staff the other day that flowers would make your room look more homey, and you had woken up the morning after to find the beautiful vase teeming with flowers next to you

“why?” you ask yeoreum when she hums thoughtfully

“it looks just like the vase in my brother’s room, but he’s weird about it. yeo never lets anyone touch it, much less have it”

you blanch a little, “in that case i’ll give it back to him later then”

“you don’t like it? or…you don’t like my brother? my brother talks about you a lot, you know,” she reveals

caught off-guard by her perceptiveness, you reveal that you have been hurt before

you don’t specify by what exactly or who it is that you’re talking about, but she seems to understand regardless

later that night, sweet yeoreum barges into yeosang’s room and with as much feistiness as she can muster, she glares at her brother and interrogates, “what did you do to make her upset?”

before he can so much as blink, yeoreum concludes, “you boys are dumb. go talk to her and fix it or something,” and then walks out with a huff

there’s no one there to witness it, but yeosang nods anyway

heart feeling a little heavy after your conversation with yeoreum, you head towards the kitchen to seek solace in the sweet pastry you are usually served each morning

the first time you tasted the danish pastry, decorated with strawberries and cream cheese, was when you had traveled to yeosang’s palace at the age of sixteen for your first meeting

you remember the blissful expression that had bloomed across your face with your initial bite, and no dessert ever captivated your tastebuds quite the same way ever again

if there is one good thing out of this arranged marriage with yeosang, then it would be the reunion between yourself and the strawberry danish

“your highness,” the head chef bows, followed by the rest of the staff in the kitchen, “how may we help you?”

when you ask for one of the pastries, the head chef apologises that there are none

“but we can make you one now, if you do not mind waiting”

you tell him not to go to the trouble and ease his worries, “i just thought there may have been leftover pastries”

“we make only one fresh every morning, specifically for you,” the chef explains, and confusion must settle across your features because he adds on, “his highness has expressed that you may like them”

oh?

flustered, you can only muster a short response of, “i do, thank you,” before you smile once more and excuse yourself

because of all people to notice and remember such a small detail, and then to go out of their way to put in the request with the kitchen on the off chance that it was still true, it was yeosang?

first the vase, and now this

you feel something deeply buried inside of you start to stir but you rush to nip it in the bud

your head and your heart are beginning to wage war against each other and suddenly everything feels like it’s too much

when you reach your bedroom, you throw open the double doors to step out onto the balcony, welcoming the chilling breeze of the darkening sky

you’re tired of fearing rejection if you open up

you’re tired of questioning yeosang’s intentions

and on top of it all, you suddenly miss home and you miss your parents and you miss juwon and-

“are you okay?”

yeosang’s soft question startles you, having missed his knocking at your door

he walks closer to join you out on the balcony when he sees that the answer is obviously a no, and he prompts you again, “what’s wrong?”

thoughts of vases and strawberry pastries flit across your mind

you start with half truths

“just missing my little brother”

“you love him a lot, don’t you,�� yeosang smiles sweetly, “i can see it in the way you take care of yeoreum”

you can’t help the heat that slowly creeps up the back of your neck and to your ears, because it implies that he’s noticed all the times you’ve showered his little sister with the same love you give to juwon

it implies he’s noticed you

“what’s your fondest memory of juwon?” he asks when you nod

something within you thaws slightly at the fact that yeosang remembers your little brother’s name

you step closer to the edge of the balcony so that you can overlook the garden outside your room a little clearer, resting your hand on the railing as yeosang waits patiently

“we used to have this game we played. we had a lot of gardenia flowers growing around our courtyard and juwon loved cutting some to make me a mini bouquet,” you pause to shake your head with a chuckle, “it drove our mother nuts”

“doesn’t sound like it stopped him from continuing though, did it?” yeosang questions with mirth

“no, it didn’t,” your heart aches with fondness. “he would use a certain number of gardenias and make me guess what phrase containing the same number of letters he had in mind”

it never failed to tug your mouth into a smile whenever juwon giggled at your attempts to guess the flower phrase, even when most times he would bound away whilst singing answers like y-o-u s-t-i-n-k or d-u-m-b d-u-m-b

yeosang supports himself on the railing with one hand as he nearly folds in on himself in laughter, and before you know it, you too are gasping for air and wiping away tears from your eyes

when you both calm down relatively enough, only intermittent chuckles leaving your lips, yeosang clears his throat and scratches his neck awkwardly

“i know it might not be much, but maybe we can go out into town tomorrow and it might take your mind off things? and we can bring yeoreum along if that makes you feel more comfortable, because you’ve probably spent more time alone with her than you have with me?”

you don’t admit it, but you’re already feeling a little better, so you decide to tease, “are you asking me out on a date right now, kang yeosang?”

“oh, well, we’d be doing things a little backwards since we’re already like, married…but, yes? maybe? is that okay?”

it’s yeosang’s turn to flush a deep red as his usually composed demeanor is reduced to stutters, but you don’t notice under the faint glow cast by the moon now reigning the sky

“yeah, that’s okay”

you and yeosang smile fondly as your little trio stroll through a nearby town the following morning, his younger sister skipping ahead to peer at the colourful trinkets being sold at the market stalls, and your own small squad of royal soldiers following behind at a respectful distance

it’s kind of endearing how yeosang points out item after item, asking whether you like it or whether you find it pretty, in a not-so-subtle attempt to learn about your preferences

you have to stop him from buying you something from every second stall you both pass, but you’re unable to convince him from purchasing a small wooden toy as a gift for juwon, insisting that you give it to your little brother the next time you see him

the more you actually interact and talk with yeosang, the harder you find it to associate him with the memory of the yeosang in your rejected letters

because the equation of the letters, the vase and the pastries just does not add up

as you two sit under the awning of a small shop, watching yeoreum play with the shopkeeper’s dog, you find yourself unable to hold back anymore

“why didn’t you reply to my letters?” you break the silence, trying to hide the hurt laced in your voice

yeosang looks at you with wide eyes as his mouth stutters open

and in the smallest voice you have ever heard him speak with, he says

“you wrote me letters?”

your eyebrows knit together as your eyes dart back and forth between his, searching for any hint of deception

“too many to count,” you confess, “until you sent a letter telling me to stop…”

“impossible. i never got your letters”

your head recoils back as you try to make sense of his words, “but-”

“wait,” he interrupts

yeosang reaches into his robes, pulling out a small, wooden block, extending it out closer to you as he asks, “do you recognise this?”

upon closer inspection, you realise it’s a square seal stamp

it has the character ‘姜’ carved into it and you’ve seen it enough times to know it represents the kang family name - but the inscription that stylises the border is unfamiliar

“not the seal, no”

he swallows apprehensively, “i stamp all my letters with this to certify authenticity”

you let his words sink in as they throw you into a sandstorm of bewilderment

“but then-”

but then who wrote the letter?

and where did all your letters go?

the only people who would have known about them would be the royal couriers and…eunju

a memory flashes through your mind - the moment she handed you a letter with a smile

no, not a smile, you realise

a smirk

you are simultaneously overwhelmed with betrayal, guilt and apologeticness

yeosang doesn’t push you for a response, and you come to recognise that you are also grateful

“i’m sorry for doubting you,” you tell him

it’s nowhere close to the amount of things you want to confess, but it is a start, one that yeosang picks up on and understands immediately

“no, i’m sorry you felt the need to doubt me,” he offers. “that i didn’t make you feel loved enough”

“but i did, actually. the vase and the pastries, then our conversation last night…and even today”

he blushes a deep red as you list the things off with your fingers

“you weren’t meant to find out about the first two,” yeosang admits as he ducks his head shyly

then he suddenly perks up with a sudden thought

he ruffles inside his satchel that had been abandoned to one side, mumbling, “my sister said i did something to upset you…so i um, got you these”

he turns around to reveal a bouquet of flowers, looking a little rough for wear after being hidden in his bag all morning, but his clumsy consideration only serves to makes your heart skip dangerously

“forgive me?” he asks cheekily, and you both giggle at the absurdity of his question because it should very well be the other way around

“if you insist,” you take the bouquet into your hands

and finally, you allow the chains around your heart to fall away, “i can’t say no to my husband, can i?”

yeosang lets out a little squeak as you look at the bouquet more clearly, counting the number of flowers

you turn to ask if he remembers the game you told him about, but the way yeosang suddenly finds the patch of dirt near his foot absolutely fascinating tells you everything that you need to know

eight flowers

eight letters

i l-o-v-e y-o-u

4K notes · View notes

beenbaanbuun · 2 months

Text

opposites attract w/ addams!matz

it’s finally here… i spent so long on this and im finally happy enough with it to give it to you guys!! i hope you enjoy it as much as i enjoyed writing it <333

words - 7.2k

genre - smut/fluff

warnings - sugar mommy!seonghwa, mommy kink, sugar daddy!hongjoong, daddy kink, cute!reader, sub!reader, dom!seonghwa, switch!hongjoong, unprotected sex, creampie, double penetration (2 in 1), clit play, cum eating, collaring, partially clothed sex, seonghwa in a tulle robe, mentions of seonghwa in a dress, i’m so horny for seonghwa guys, mentions of drinking but everyone is sober, pet names (mommy, daddy, mi amor, cara mia, dove, love, lamb), i think that’s it?

——————————————————————————

The fire crackles to your left as you lay before it for warmth. The grizzly bear rug - which you’d affectionately nicknamed Jongho, once you’d finally gotten used to the morbid thing - is soft beneath you, and you have to stop yourself from slipping away into a peaceful slumber atop it.

Although you assume your desire to sleep has more to do with the book in your hand than it does the rug. It had been carefully placed atop the side table next to the chez and since you had nothing better to do, you decided to read it. Only it seems it was written when Shakespeare’s great-great-great grandfather was still a twinkle in his father's eye, so comprehending a single word of it is proving to be more difficult than you originally anticipated. For all you know, you could be reading a recipe book and you’d be none-the-wiser.

For that exact reason, it doesn't take long for you to slam the book closed in frustration, tossing it to the side. It boinks the back of Jongho’s head, bouncing off and landing somewhere on the parquet floor. You can’t be particularly bothered to check where it’s landed, knowing that if you do, you’ll be liable to clean up after your mini-tantrum. The longer the location of the book remains a mystery, the longer you can stay swaddled in the blanket of warmth that Jongho and the fire are providing you with.

“Little dove?” A voice calls from the doorway to the sitting room. Your head perks up and you glance over to where Hongjoong is leaning against the stone archway with a glass of whisky in hand. You smile at him, which he returns, “I didn’t even notice you were here. When did you arrive?”

He takes a few steps into the room before coming to a halt upon spotting your body that had previously been hidden by the chez lounge. You’re lying on your tummy, head in hands and feet kicked up in the air. It’s quite obvious you’re not trying to seduce him with the way you're staring up at him with innocent eyes. In fact, once he spots the book tossed a couple of feet away, he can tell that your behaviour is more on par with a petulant child than a seductress. If it weren’t for your outfit, he’d perhaps find you adorable, but that’s the last word he’d use to describe that tiny little tennis skirt you’re wearing.

The hem had flicked up at some point, revealing just a little more thigh than you realise. If Hongjoong looks carefully he’s almost sure he can see the crease of where your ass cheek meets your thigh. He averts his gaze, if only to stop himself from pouncing on you and instead, he lets it travel down your soft legs. His eyes don’t get far, however, as seconds later his pupils come to rest on the thigh-highs you wear. The way they dig into your thighs so prettily, your soft flesh spilling over the top, draws him in.

He gulps down the rest of his whisky to calm himself.

“About fifteen minutes ago,” you shrug before laying yourself completely flat against the bear you seem to adore so much. Your fingers curl into its fur and you stretch your legs out behind you. Hongjoong almost finds you cute, but the way you move only brings more attention to your thighs. He notices the purple marks that had been left between them only days prior have faded, for the most part, although the memory alone makes his cock throb, and he quickly manoeuvres himself so he’s sitting on the chez with one leg firmly over the other to hide the growing tent in his black, pinstripe slacks.

“Why didn’t you call for us, my dove?” He places his empty glass down on the side table, the cubes of ice clinking musically against the sides, “you know we would’ve come running to you.”

You flip onto your back, rolling just a touch closer to Hongjoong’s feet. A shiver runs through you as the cold patch of Jongho’s fur rubs against your skin, and you almost want to shuffle back to the patch you’d already spent the last quarter of an hour warming up with your body. You refrain. It’s nice to be close to Hongjoong, and besides, you can get a better look at him from this angle. Always so handsome, every single pore in his body oozing eloquence and grace. If you ever get to meet the demon who created such a tempting individual, you’d have to thank them personally.

Hongjoong feels the same way, desire and temptation filling him from top to bottom as you reveal the front of your outfit. The corseted top you wear hugs your breasts oh so perfectly, accentuating them in a way that would have a Victorian harlot gasping with jealousy. If you were, in fact, a harlot, Hongjoong would be willing to pay whatever it took for just a peek at your body.

“Seonghwa doesn’t like it when I don’t use my indoor voice,” you mumble through pouted lips. The way they pucker reminds him of all the pretty little sounds you let slip through them when he and Seonghwa are taking you apart. They play a symphony in his head, dizzying him as he further succumbs to your temptations.

“You should’ve come to seek us out then,” his voice is a little gravellier than it had been just a moment or two ago, his desire to ruin you only growing stronger by the second, “You know, rather than just lying here and waiting for us to stumble upon your little tantrum.” he gestures over to where the book still lays discarded on the ground.

You roll your eyes and let out a grunt of dismay.

“It’s not a tantrum,” you whine childishly, “I’m just bored, and that book was dumb.”

He hums as he watches you sulk with your face pressed up to the rug. You’re incredibly charming, actually, and all he wants to do is reach down and pull you into his lap. Perhaps whisper comfort to you as he toys with you a little. Turn you into a gooey mess, both mind and body. He pushes those thoughts away, yet the way you look at him draws them back. You’re the picture of innocence with glistening eyes, body spread out on his rug as if you’re too dumb to care about the amount of skin showing. Perhaps you are; it doesn’t seem like you’ve even noticed that your skirt has now lifted enough for him to see the front of your white cotton panties.

He wants to tear you to shreds.

“Bored, hm?” he grunts out through gritted teeth. His hard cock is aching at this point. It’s a white-hot ache that sits deep in his balls. He can feel that they desire nothing more than to be emptied into you.

“Bored and restless,” you sigh as you let your fingers intertwine with Jongho’s fur.

Hongjoong hums in understanding, a grin rising to his face as you so graciously drop all the answers to his problems in his lap. He almost gets down onto the floor himself to kiss you, but somehow manages to hold himself back.

“I have an idea, little dove,” he says. “How about you go upstairs and see Mommy?”

And just like that, time seems to stop. The suggestion brings all of your attention to Hongjoong who is staring you down like a lion on the prowl. There’s a dangerous smirk on his lips, the man baring his teeth as if he’s about to go in for the kill. You gulp as you push yourself into a sitting position, feeling every part ‘prey’ as he seems predator.

“You think it’ll help?” you take in a sharp breath, “i-if I go and see… Mommy?”

“Of course, I do, little dove” he leans in close and grabs hold of your chin between his fingers. His fingers are a little cold to the touch, which sends a shudder through your body. The reaction you have makes him chuckle, “Now be a good girl and run along, won’t you? Daddy won’t be far behind.”

The second his grip loosens on your face, you’re scrambling to your feet and rushing out of the room. Your socks almost make you slip on the lacquered parquet. Hongjoong chuckles as you balance yourself before disappearing into the stairwell. You take the stairs two at a time, footsteps thundering through the house. There's no doubt in your mind that Seonghwa will give you a lecture about your volume the moment he spots you, but that’s at the back of your mind right now. All you can think about is what’s to come.

You step foot on the landing, practically skipping down the hallway until you reach the open doorway to an all-too-familiar room. You knock desperately, not bothering to wait for a response before pushing it open and stumbling inside of the master bedroom.

Immediately your eyes hone in on Seonghwa, lying on the bed in all his glory, nothing but a black tulle robe to cover his lithe body. His wet hair hangs over his forehead in elegant waves, dripping droplets of water down his nose as he relaxes. Despite your desire to have him take you in any way he deems fit, you can’t help but stop for a second to admire the view.

“I thought I heard you coming,” his silken voice beckons you in like a siren. You follow it, stepping closer to your doom with every step, “although it wasn’t difficult. I’d be surprised if the people living four towns over couldn’t hear you.”

He locks eyes with you, dark pupils drawing you even further in. You shuffle toward him until you’re standing by his nightstand. A pretty hand reaches out to rest upon your waist, fingers dancing across the pastel material of your corset. Seonghwa reaches around the back to where the ribbon holds it in place and gives it a playful tug.

“I was just excited to see you,” you defend as he continues to play with the bow at the base of your spine, “Daddy sent me.”

The fingers pause for a millisecond before going back to what they were doing. They pull at the ribbon, tempting it looser and looser the longer they play. You have no doubt the bow will slip open any time now.

You can’t find it in you to care.

“And why did Daddy send you to me?” His lips are pretty as he talks, plush and pouty with a natural red tint to them. He looks vampiric; black eyes, glassy skin, crimson lips. You move closer still until the mattress presses firmly against your thighs, “were you misbehaving?”

You shake your head at the suggestion. Bar the book, which Hongjoong wasn’t even there to witness you throw, you’d been nothing but a good girl. Perhaps a little disrespectful at times, but nothing Hongjoong couldn’t have handled quickly and efficiently by himself.

“No?” Seonghwa tugs you onto the bed as he speaks. The hand that rests on your body works hard to rearrange you until you’re straddling him prettily. He admires the way your tiny little skirt bunches up at the top of your thighs, revealing the wet patch at the front of your panties. His eyes can hardly tear themselves away, and his dick begins to stir beneath the translucent fabric of his robe, “perhaps he just thinks a good fucking is what you need, my lamb. Is that it? Do you need your Mommy to help look after you, hm?”

This time you nod. You’d love nothing more than for Seonghwa to take care of you - he always does it so well. So slow that you can’t help but become dizzy with desperation; so soft that you can’t help but feel like a precious artefact being studied under Seonghwa’s watchful gaze; so loving that you feel nothing but safe in his grasp, able to turn off your mind and just enjoy him.

Seonghwa.

And upon that revelation, the man finally lets the bow slip open. Your corset loosens, gaping a little at the top. Your tits help to hold it up, but as Seonghwa begins to work on loosening the ribbon, you feel it start to slip away.

“Arms up,” he says as he grabs the material. You do as he asks, and he wastes no time in setting your top half free. You know better than to try and hide yourself from him, so when you lower your arms once more they remain glued to your sides - just as Seonghwa’s eyes remain glued to your chest. “Pretty little lamb,” he whispers, his face remaining stoic but his words soft. You can tell he means them.

“Do you want to take your skirt off too?” You nod, “Go ahead then, lamb; mommy can't do everything for you.” And whilst you’re under the impression that Seonghwa can - and mostly does - do everything for you, you obey. Slipping off of his lap, your hands work on the zipper, easing it down until the skirt can no longer stay up. Without so much of a touch from you, it slips down your thighs, exposing your white panties completely. You remove the skirt the rest of the way, throwing it on top of your corset to create a messy little pile of clothes upon Hongjoong’s pillow.

You look to Seonghwa for further guidance, your restless mind seems to enjoy being told what to do. It craves the softness that you so often get from him. The gentle touch and the gentle words that soothe you. The strict instructions that stop you from having to think for yourself, Seonghwa and Hongjoong - Mommy and Daddy - taking care of you entirely. It’s exactly what you need right now.

“My darling lamb,” Seonghwa whispers as he holds his arms out for you. You shuffle forward slightly, allowing him to tug you into a horizontal embrace, “Whilst I do love you in the family colours,” you know he means black - he and Hongjoong so often dress you up in expensive black lingerie before a night of intimacy. they love making you ‘theirs’ in any way possible, and wearing the ‘family colour’ is just another way to do that, “I must admit that the way your pretty pussy slicks up these dainty white panties is a lovely sight.”

His hands work together, arranging your body in his grasp until you’re lying just perfect for him. Your head sits in the crook of one elbow, leaving his hand free to play with your hair. The other arm lays on the soft flesh of your tummy. You relax into his touch, despite the fact that his hand is already beginning to move south. Still, he makes every movement so intentional that when his fingers do eventually reach the wet patch on your panties, it only makes you relax even further into him.

“So wet, lamb,” he murmurs into your ear, “who caused this?”

Obviously, he knows the answer, but he can’t help but take the opportunity to tease you. To see you squirm under his gaze as he waits for your answer is so entertaining to him. He knows it’s even more entertaining when you begin to stutter as pleasure wracks through your body; he begins to draw lazy circles against your clothed clit.

“Y-you and daddy,” you reply, voice breathy as Seonghwa increases the pressure on your sensitive bud, “you a-always make me so wet, Mommy…”

He chuckles as he feels your hips twitch against his fingers. You want more, and whilst normally Seonghwa would have you wait for it, teasing you until he’s decided you're ready for it, he can’t help but want to indulge you in your desires now. You're so good for him, he thinks to himself as he changes the pace a little. As your face screws up in pleasure, a smile rises to his own.

He continues at that pace, gauging how you're feeling by your facial expressions and the pretty sounds you make. When you bite your lip or furrow your brow, he knows you want more and so he adds more pressure until your mouth gapes wide and little high-pitched moans come from the back of your throat. That's how he knows you're happy. That is what he always aims to achieve because his pleasure, and Hongjoong’s for that matter, often comes from yours. Making the sweet little creature that they’d so lovingly taken under their wing happy is all they truly desire.

And you are, happy that is; falling apart under Seonghwa’s gentle touch will always be where you’re happiest. It's even better when he finally slips your panties to the side and puts his warm, delicate fingers directly onto your clit. You let out a heavy sigh as he spreads your lips with his index and ring finger, giving his middle finger an open pathway to the little button that is practically throbbing with the need to be played with again. And when he touches it, this time directly, it's even more electric than it was before. A bolt of pleasure shoots through you and you struggle to pin yourself to the bed. Your spine arches as you let out a loud whine. Fuck, it feels so good, and he’s barely even touched you yet.

Seonghwa begins to rub circles again, only this time without any barrier to dull the sensation. Magical, is the only word that you can use to describe the way it feels, each tender touch sending shocks of lightning through your body. It's like you don't have control over it as your hips buck against his hand, socked feet desperately rubbing against one another as it will do anything to help you ground yourself. Nothing can help now, not when Seonghwa has you feeling so high with just a few simple touches.

It doesn't take long until you feel it building up inside of you, racing to the top of that peak quicker than you can comprehend. You can feel your hole clenching around thin air, desperately trying to grip onto nothing. Perhaps Weonghwa would finger your next, preparing you for whatever is yet to come. You think you’d like nothing more than to be spread open with his lithe fingers, and it's that thought that finally pushes you over the ledge.

Your orgasm hits as the door swings even further open and Hongjoong walks in just in time to see you squirming under Seonghwa’s touch. He smirks at the sight of his darling husband taking such wonderful care of their little love, caressing your hair as he guides you through the intense feeling that is flowing through your body so rampantly. His fingers slow to a stop at just the right second, leaving you a panting mess in his arms.

“What a time to arrive,” Hongjoong says, voice clear as a bell as he makes his presence known. Seonghwa, of course, noticed him the second he walked in; the pair always did seem to have this weird, almost telepathic thing going on. They told you it was just true love at work, which was something you wholeheartedly believed, “It always is such a beautiful sight to see you cum, my dove. I could watch it forever and never get bored.”

Seonghwa hums out a chuckle at that, “Now isn't that a novel idea, lamb!” He presses a kiss to your temple, “Perhaps we’ll have to do that one day; a full day of making you cum over and over and over again”

“Maybe, Mommy,” is all you can spit out in response to their teasing, nodding along as if you're not dreading the idea of a whole day of overstimulation. The two men smile at your eagerness to please despite your obvious displeasure. Perhaps they’d suggest it again when you aren’t as lust-drunk as you seem to be now. Their only goal at this moment is to satiate you, not fulfil their own fantasies. They could wait a little while to put those into play.

Hongjoong shrugs off his jacket before clambering onto the bed, effectively trapping you between the two of them. Just like Seonghwa, he takes a moment to play with the hair that frames your face. He twists a strand between two fingers before tucking it behind your ear. Upon closer inspection, he can't help but notice the H pendant that dangles from your lobe. He wonders if Seonghwa has noticed the matching S sitting in your other ear, yet. It always does make the tall man so happy to see you wearing one of the many gifts they shower you in.

“I have something for you,” Hongjoong says, the earrings acting as a reminder of the box he’s had stored in the drawer of his nightstand for what seems like forever, now. They had been waiting for the right moment to present it to you, but right now seems as ‘right’ as any, “would you like to see it?”

You watch as he leans over to pull open his drawer, fetching a black oblong box from its confines. The box itself is nothing of note, but he passes it to you with such care, and you just know that whatever is inside of it is special. Your eyes meet with his, asking for permission to open it. He gives you a single nod in return.

You slip the lid off of the box.

“Oh,” you whisper as you lay eyes on what appears to be a collar of some sort. A thin velvet band that locks with a clasp at the back and finishes with a delicate bow at the front. Intricate lace frills surround the velvet, giving the collar more volume, yet keeping its soft appearance. A pastel pink pearl drips from a tiny metal ring that sits at the centre of the bow. Behind it is a petite chrome plate embossed with the letters ‘H&S’ in a fanciful font. It's beautiful, and you can't help but tell them that.

“You like it?” Seonghwa asked, tilting your chin up so you were looking him in the eyes. With the most genuine smile you can muster, you nod, “I’m glad.”

You feel Hongjoong close in beside you. He reaches an arm over your body to pick the collar up with a gentle hand. The velvet shifts in the dim light that shines from the chandelier above, and it changes colour right before your eyes, from black to a beautiful shade of magenta. You seem to recall Seonghwa wearing a similar dress once upon a time. It was black, just like your collar, but whenever he moved, the fabric rippled and in doing so, caused it to shift into a deep crimson. He and Hongjoong had waltzed together that night. It's nothing out of the ordinary for them, but that night sticks out to you specifically because of the sheer beauty of Seonghwa's dress.

“We wanted to give you something to remind you that you are ours,” Hongjoong tells you, voice as soft as the velvet on the collar, “because you are. From the moment we saw you, we knew you were ours. From now until forever, dove.”

And with that, he presses the fabric to your throat, dragging his fingers along it until they reach the clasp at the back. He fastens it, fingers lingering for a moment before pulling away empty-handed. You struggle to hide your smile as your mind fumbles over itself, repeating ‘theirs, theirs, theirs,’ over and over as if the fabric pressing into your jugular wasn't enough of a reminder of that fact.

With your newfound sense of belonging that you hadn't even realised you were missing, you find it easy to lean forward and take what is rightfully yours. Your eyes flutter closed as you steal a kiss from Seonghwa. Upon feeling your lips bump against his, lacking the grace or elegance he was used to when initiating kisses himself, he can't help but let out a surprised squeak. He soon finds his feet, though, taking control back in a matter of seconds and pushing you back against Hongjoong’s solid body. The clothed chest acts as a support for Seonghwa as he wraps a hand around your throat, softly stroking the jewellery as he deepens the kiss.

A tongue slips between your lips as a hand slips beneath the waistband of your panties. You struggle to focus on the way Seonghwa licks into your mouth when Hongjoong tugs the white fabric down your thighs, fully exposing you while the two men remain at least somewhat covered. You shift your legs slightly to aid him in his mission of removing them fully, never once pulling away from Seonghwa. You might’ve mentally praised yourself for multitasking if it weren't for Seonghwa shifting his body slightly, hard dick now pressing against your lower stomach through the tulle of his robe. Just one flick of the wrist and it would be fully exposed, ready to slip inside of you.

You moan into Seonghwa’s mouth.

He pulls away, panting desperately as he regains breath.

“Hell above, lamb,” Seonghwa utters, adams apple bobbing as he exclaims, “You really are a most devilish creature under that innocent exterior, aren't you? Pouncing on me like a little bear cub, hm?”

You go to answer, a touch of snarkiness on the tip of your tongue. Barely a sound leaves your lips, though, as a finger presses into your core and your words turn into a long, drawn-out whine. The finger bottoms out pretty soon, and that's how you can tell it’s Hongjoong’s; shorter than Seonghwa’s by a mile, yet ever so slightly thicker. As he adds a second almost immediately, you can't help but moan at the stretch.

“Fuck, Daddy,” you keen. Your head tips forward, landing with a heavy thud against the exposed part of Seonghwa’s chest, “your fingers feel so good.” He curls them inside of you, tempting a tiny squark from your lips. Then he does it again, routinely twisting them as he pumps them in and out. The sound they make as they swim amongst your gooey wetness is quite frankly obscene, but you find it hard to feel humiliated when so much pleasure flows through you.

Then you feel a second pair of fingers line up against your core, bullying their way in alongside Hongjoong’s. The stretch makes you choke on your spit, gurgling slightly as the longer pair brush against the squishy membrane of your g-spot. Like Hongjoong had moments before, Seonghwa begins to curve them slightly, petting your walls as his husband continues thrusting in and out.

The stretch is immense, almost reaching the familiar girth of Seonghwa’s cock. Like his fingers, it was long and whilst not necessarily thin, it didn't quite match up to the girth of Hongjoong’s. For that reason, you usually take Seonghwa first, but as you feel yet another finger press into your core, you can't help but wonder whether they’re prepping you to take Hongjoong first instead.

The fingers work together to open you up, spreading you wider than usual. You don't complain, letting them do whatever they choose with your body while you lay there limp and ready for them to take in whatever way they deem fit. They know your body well enough for you to give them full control. You trust them with yourself fully.

Hongjoong slips his three fingers out, and before long you can hear slurping above your head. Seonghwa’s fingers stutter within you, and you can’t help but feel a little curious. You flick your gaze to Seonghwa’s face, jaw dropping upon seeing his lips wrapped around Hongjoong’s digits, licking them clean of your juices. His eyelashes flutter gracefully against his porcelain-smooth cheeks, and even with his husband's fingers down his throat you can’t help but think he’s beautiful.

Hongjoong pulls them loose with a pop and dries the mixture of your juices and Seonghwa’s spit against his suit pants before he unzips them, his cock springing free almost immediately. It’s angry and red with precum flowing freely from the tip as if it’s about to explode if it doesn’t get something soon. You reach an arm out to touch it, but Hongjoong darts a hand out to catch it.

He tuts.

“Patience, little dove,” he whispers with a smirk, “Mommy may have let you take what you want, but I still expect you to do as I say.”

He wastes no time in shifting down the bed, gracefully moving until the head of his cock is lined up with your core. You half expect Seonghwa to pull his fingers free, but he doesn't. Hongjoong’s blunt head presses into your still-stuffed hole, only just breaching the pink rim. It's a painful stretch with Seonghwa’s fingers still inside of you, but Hongjoong goes slow, allowing your cunt to accommodate him at its own pace. With Seonghwa still petting that one spot, you find it fairly easy to let pleasure take over, the pain becoming more and more bearable until it fades into nothing.

It feels like it takes an age for Hongjoong to bottom out. Despite his cock not being tremendously long - perhaps even a little shorter than average - it seems to go on forever as he pushes it into you. The delicious stretch combined with the constant assault on your g-spot sends you hurtling towards another orgasm. All it takes is for Hongjoong’s pelvis to finally come to a standstill against yours, his thick cock fully sheathed within your warm, wet cavern, and you're coming undone. Your walls tighten around him, pressing Seonghwa’s fingers up against the shaft of Hongjoong’s cock. The latter bows his head and lets his jaw go slack. A guttural moan falls from his throat as he tries his hardest not to cum on the spot.

“My darling lamb,” Seonghwa chuckles into your ear as he slows his fingers to a stop. You're grateful for the break in stimulation, although you know it isn't bound to last, “you’re so sensitive tonight. It makes me wonder how you might react when I’m inside of you too. I bet you’d like that, yes? Mommy and daddy inside of you at the same time?”

You nod, although you don't quite let the true meaning of his words sink in. All you know is that you want them both, so incredibly bad. Your passionate, commanding Hongjoong hand in hand with your caring yet fiercely protective Seonghwa; they’d keep you with them forever if you let them. You’d live in their macabre bubble, surrounded by their morbid warmth and ghastly traditions. Your days would be filled with them; Hongjoong could teach you to fence or play chess, and Seonghwa would no doubt teach you about all the deadly plants he keeps in his greenhouse. You’d spend your evenings watching them Waltz in front of the fireplace, a funeral march playing from their old megaphone. Perhaps you’d join them from time to time, pressed to Hongjoong’s front as Seonghwa directs your movements from the chez.

And once the evening activities have drawn to a close, they’d drag you upstairs to bed to take you apart piece by piece. Each night they would push you to the edge of sanity before slowly bringing you back down to earth. They’d treat you like the most precious thing on the planet; a ruby to be polished and protected.

You want it more than anything. Seonghwa and Hongjoong - mommy and daddy - forever and always.

“Want you, Mommy,” you whisper, choking on your own words as Hongjoong begins to pull out slowly until only the tip is left sitting within your velvety walls. You cry out as his hips snap forward, propelling his entire length into you once more. It feels so good, and Seonghwa takes the hint to begin moving his fingers once more. It drives you insane. Chants of ‘please, please,’ fill the air, although you aren't quite sure what you’re begging for.

Seonghwa looks to Hongjoong, who lifts his head to see the silent question on his lover's face.

“One more, Cara Mia,” he grunts out as he pistons his hips into you, “she’s so tight.”

“Of course, Mi Amor,” Seonghwa hums and a mere few seconds pass by before you feel a third finger press against your entrance. You squirm as he pushes it inside of you, wriggling its way inside beside Hongjoong’s cock and his other two fingers. It's a snug fit, but you find it much easier to get used to than the initially painful stretch of Hongjoong’s member.

And even with the third finger added, they do much of the same, Seonghwa gently massaging your walls as Hongjoong pounds into you. The force of his hips increases with each thrust, making your mind go hazy. It's only made worse when Seonghwa begins to spread his fingers within you, making you squeal. His hand that still rests behind your head quickly comes to sit upon your fluffed-up barnet, petting it soothingly as he stretches you out even further.

You're babbling nonsense at this point, but neither man pays it any mind as they work you open past what you thought to be your limit. They're encouraged by the tiny pleas, keeping up their pace as you’re faced with a third orgasm. Perhaps that was what Seonghwa was waiting for because as he feels your walls tighten around his fingers, he begins to slip them out. You whine at the loss, even though Hongjoong is still working hard to fuck you through your orgasm, whilst somehow still staving his own off. Seonghwa just hushes you with a small peck to the lips.

He puts a hand on your shoulder, shifting you and Hongjoong ever so slightly. Just enough so he can slip behind you, his warm chest pressing up against your spine. For a moment, you wonder what he's doing, but then the chiffon of his robe moves to expose his cock and you’re struck by a sudden realisation of what both at the same time actually means.

That would explain why they were so determined to stretch you out…

Hongjoong’s hips slow to a stop with his member still deep inside of you as you feel the head of Seonghwa’s brush against your entrance. You moan as he forces the tip in with only a small amount of resistance from your stretched-out pussy. The unpleasant burn of being opened up is there again, but you bite your lip and let Seonghwa push himself into you alongside Hongjoong. You know the pain will dissipate soon, having already experienced it once with Hongjoong just a short while prior, but holy fuck does it hurt right now.

A helpful finger - although, in your dizzy state you can't quite work out who’s it is - finds its way to your clit, rubbing firm yet somehow also delicate circles on the little bundle of nerves. As you focus on the pleasure you get from that, it’s fairly easy to forget about the unpleasant ache between your thighs, and within minutes you’re once more able to relax into the ministrations of the men.

You whimper as the taller man bottoms out much quicker than Hongjoong did; perhaps he was just desperate from having to watch his husband fuck you for a while first. His tip gently brushes against your cervix, pulling a gasp from your lips as you feel him grazing against the sensitive muscle. He shushes you in your ear as he slowly begins to move. His thrusts are lazier than Hongjoong’s, slower and gentler just as they always are. It suits him; he always had been more restrained and patient than his shorter counterpart who is also beginning to thrust into you once more.

The contrast between the way the two men treat your body, as well as the determined finger upon your button, is enough to drive you crazy. You’re left as nothing but a moaning mess between them, squirming as they fuck into you at different paces; Seonghwa slow and gentle and Hongjoong quick and animalistic. You’re putty in their hands at this point, purely there for them to use and pump full of cum.

It doesn't take long for Hongjoong to do just that.

“I’m close, my dove,” he groans into your ear, “your precious cunt is squeezing me so tight; I can't hold on any longer.”

Mere moments later, his hips stutter to a stop, his dick still deep inside of you. You know exactly what’s coming, but it still doesn’t stop you from moaning as you feel the thick, warm liquid fill you to the brim. Seonghwa only fucks it deeper, forcing the feeling of fullness upon you. You expect it to vanish any minute; Hongjoong will pull out and the cum will flow out with him.

He doesn’t, though; more accurately, Seonghwa doesn’t let him.

Just as you feel Hongjoong begin to retract his softening cock, the hand that lies against your pubis, fingers dancing upon your clit, shoots out to catch his hip. He whines, more pathetic than you’ve ever heard him before; it’s a beautiful sound, and you can’t help but clench around them when you hear it.

“Cara mia, please,” he whimpers, jaw opening wide in a silent moan as Seonghwa continues to thrust into you, cock rubbing repeatedly against Hongjoong’s own oversensitive member, “it’s too much.”

You’ve never seen him so submissive before, and you have to admit you find it hotter than you feel you should. The two of you moan out in unison, the combination of Seonghwa’s languid movements combined with the control he has over the both of you is enough to send you spiralling to the end. You can feel it coming, but with the lack of stimulation on your clit, you can’t quite get there. You open your mouth to protest, but then Seonghwa’s tip pushes through the milky cum to brush against your cervix, and your mind is once again empty.

“But you can take it, Mi Amor,'' Seonghwa taunts from behind you, voice low and velvety in your ear. In a last-ditch attempt to keep any semblance of your sanity, you let your hands shoot out to grab at Hongjoong’s black shirt. It’s damp with sweat beneath your hands, but as you squeeze the soft material between your fingers, you can’t find it in you to care. “You can take it so our little lamb can feel good; keep her stuffed full until her Mommy can cum inside of her too.”

Hongjoong nods wordlessly, too focused on panting his way through the overstimulation to form any words. Through hooded eyes you watch his face contort with pained pleasure, eyes squeezing shut and brow furrowing as your fluttering walls and Seonghwa’s twitching cock torture his sensitive shaft. He looks so beautiful, and while you know you’ll probably never have the chance to overpower him in such a manner, you're happy you can at least bear witness to it now.

And with the knowledge that Hongjoong will behave, Seonghwa moves his fingers back to your clit. They dive straight in, tweaking the throbbing bud in a way that draws a loud cry of pleasure from your lips. Your walls tighten around both men’s members; an action which has them simultaneously moaning in your ears. Knowing just how much of an effect you have on the two men encourages you to constrict them within your walls again.

It must feel good since that's all it takes to have Seonghwa come to a standstill inside of you, ropes of his cum emptying into your womb and mixing with Hongjoong’s. It's beautifully warm as it shoots up against your cervix. That alone is enough to have you clenching down on them once more.

Seonghwa grunts as you milk him dry, and the moment he's finished spilling his load inside of you, he taps Hongjoong’s hip to get him to pull out of you. Perhaps it's that - the final drag of their dicks against your walls - that pushes you careening off the edge into your final orgasm of the night. Your entire body tightens as your vision turns white for just a moment. You can feel your back arch and your hips buck as Seonghwa continues to toy with your clit, but it's like your mind is separate from your body, unable to control anything that it does in response to the mind-blowing climax.

He takes his fingers away at just the right moment, not wanting to push you any further than you already have been tonight.

Still, it takes a moment or two for you to come back down to earth, the remnants of the orgasm sending endorphins racing through your body as you try to catch your breath. It seems the men on either side of you are in the same boat, heavy breathing the only sound you can hear. It's pleasant to feel their chests rising and falling against you, but the comfort you gain from it doesn't take away from just how empty you feel now.

And perhaps it's that or the sudden crash of adrenaline that makes your throat tighten and tears begin to build up upon your lash line. The first one falls, pretty quickly, but it doesn't get very far as Hongjoong kisses it away. His lips linger against your face, relishing the way your hot skin feels against them.

“Why are you crying, my lamb?” Seonghwa whispers against your ear. His fingers lift up to brush against your face, swiping away another stray tear, “are you that happy?”

“Empty,” you correct, voice stuffy as you allow yourself to cry, “but, I guess happy too. How could I not be when I’m with you two?”

They both hum in amusement as they crowd you with their bodies. You’re stuffed between them; the weird pastel meat in an equally weird gothic sandwich, and you wouldn't want to be anywhere else. Not when you know now that you’re theirs, and they’re yours - the tag of the collar that dangles against your throat reminds you of that fact. You pick it up between your fingers, toying with the cold metal.

“I can’t do anything about you feeling empty, I’m afraid,” Seonghwa says, “but I’m certainly pleased you’re happy, my little lamb.”

“You could stuff me back up?” You say, only half in jest. Hongjoong scoffs and shakes his head in a desperate refusal; clearly, he’s still too sensitive.

Part of you wants to take advantage of that and tease him a little. It would be so easy to shuffle and ‘accidentally’ brush your thigh against his cock. If you’re careful, you’ll definitely be able to avoid suspicion, and if you get caught you doubt you’ll get much more than a warning. Still, as you look upon his face and see nothing but adoration, the thoughts seem to vanish into thin air.

You let go of your collar, pressing the hand against his cheek instead and use it to hold him in place as you peck the tip of his nose. The metal of the collar clinks as he scrunches his nose up in mock dismay and gently pushes you back into Seonghwa’s chest. You giggle, and its music to their ears; so soft and bright that if it belonged to anyone else, they would’ve found themselves put off by it.

Since it belongs to you, though, it's become their favourite sound.

——————————————————————————

tagged - @vesvosmozhno

#ateez x reader #ateez fanfic #ateez oneshot #ateez fluff #ateez scenarios #ateez fic #ateez smut #poly ateez x reader #poly ateez smut #poly ateez #seonghwa x reader #seonghwa smut #hongjoong smut #hongjoong x reader #matz x reader

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lololololchips · 4 months

Text

Kim Hongjoong || boyfriend texts with hongjoong!

genre: one shot texts, idol!bf hongjoong, smau, fluff

warnings: cursing, fem pronouns, wanting to have a kid, jealously (?), nsfw

a/n: short one because i didn’t know what else to add☹️ sorry to all my hongjoong girlies (aka me)

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i-luvsang · 10 months

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bitter(but mostly)sweet — kim hongjoong

1.2K MILESTONE EVENT ☆ OPEN gn!reader , hurt/lots of comfort , cw : pet names (baby, love), crying, reader has an anxiety attack, reader is lowkey nonverbal for a little bit (disclaimer! all this is based off my personal experience with anxiety, just remember we all experience it differently and that we are all valid in those experiences <3) , wc : (almost) 1K , eee tysm for requesting sweetest ❄️ anon hope you find some warmth in this winkwink

the moment hongjoong lays eyes on you, he knows something is off. the sight of you sitting at the desk in his room, hunched over school work isn’t anything uncommon, but the far-away look in your eyes and the sharp furrow of your eyebrows sparks worry in his mind. his eyes drift down to see the nervous fiddling of your hands and bouncing of your leg.

he sets his bag down on the floor, gently, as to not startle you, but the sound still pulls an almost imperceptible flinch from your body that he doesn’t fail to notice. you turn your head to look at him, trying to smooth the rough, telling features on your face to cover up your anxious heart. but you can already see the worried crease between his brows as he walks over to you, footsteps falling softly across the room and you wonder if you’ll be able to keep your tears at bay if he keeps looking at you like this.

casting your eyes down, you sigh and begin to chew at your bottom lip. even when he crouches beside you and turns the chair away from your computer to face him, you do what you can to avoid his gaze.

“baby…” he starts softly. “what’s wrong?”

you just shake your head, not wanting to voice your anxieties out loud. his eyes are drawn to the incessant rubbing of your hands against one another, your nervous energy clearly building along with the tears in your eyes.

he says your name with all the gentleness that he can muster. “can i touch you? is that okay?” your only immediate reaction is a sharp inhale, so he keeps his hands on the chair rather than grasping your hands the way he wants to. he can tell you’re debating in your already crowded mind. “you can say no, my love” he reminds you. “just wanna hold your hands if that could help you.” at that you nod. “that’s alright then?” you nod again. “baby… can i hear it? if not, that’s okay, i just wanna be sure.”

you bite the inside of your cheek and take a deep breath. your voice is barely a whisper when you affirm, “yeah.. that’s okay.”

“good job, baby,” he whispers under his breath, then lets his hands make their way towards yours. first, he gently pulls them apart from each other, worried about you scratching or hurting yourself accidentally. when his hands wrap around yours, he immediately feels the way you tighten your fingers around his, as if grounding yourself in his touch. that’s when he hears your sniffle, your eyes still avoiding his gaze.

“i’m here now, baby. it’s alright, okay?”

you nod again, finally letting a tear fall. “i just– i can’t–” you cut yourself off with your own uneven breathing. you feel like you’re gasping for air as you attempt to explain to hongjoong your frustration and fears due to how overwhelming school has been lately, but that breathlessness is making it difficult. hongjoong, as always, is quick to notice, and slowly, as if silently asking permission stands and begins to pull you into his arms. hastily, you wrap your arms around him and bury your head in his torso. his hands reach your back and the back of your head, providing calming strokes as you allow yourself to cry into his embrace.

he comforts you softly with his words too, "sh, sh, you're okay now. we’ll figure it out, okay? it’s alright.” he repeats many sweet words like a mantra, his voice as grounding as his loving touch. when your tears subside, he gently moves your arms from around his waist, crouching down again to be face to face with you. you let your arms fall over his shoulders instead, and finally let your gaze wander to meet his. “there you are,” he offers you a soft smile, and you do your best to return one of your own.

“thank you, joongie,” you whisper, voice hoarse from crying.

“of course, my love.” he pulls you into one more hug, your head tucked into his shoulder this time. “let’s get you some water and something to eat, yeah?” he suggests, noting the empty granola bar wrapper on the desk.

“okay,” you nod, still anxious to do anything but your work, but aware that a small break and sustenance will certainly help you. hongjoong pulls you up with him, keeping your hand in his as he leads you to the kitchen. he lets you stick close to his side as he prepares a quick meal of leftovers for you, pressing a firm kiss to your forehead when you sit down at the table. it’s mostly quiet as you eat, but his presence is more than enough comfort for you.

as if it’s the most natural thing in the world, he clears and washes your dishes for you without a word. you hesitate by his side once he’s done, aware you won’t be able to sleep well without getting more work done, but desperately wanting to just go to bed in his arms.

and he proves once again how well he knows you when he pulls you into another hug, right there in the middle of the kitchen.

“let’s go finish one assignment for tonight, and we’ll make you a plan for tomorrow, okay?” he says into your hair. you nod into his embrace, ever grateful for each ounce of care and love he pours out for you.

“love you, joongie,” you mumble, hoping that smile you’re imagining is sitting softly on his lips.

by the way he replies with “i love you too,” you can hear the bittersweet smile in his voice, the one that means he’s glad you’re alright now but wishes you never had to cry in the first place.

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sugarnspice630 · 14 days

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I wonder how would each member react that you wore a phenomenon perfume to seduce them (yk the tiktok trend,when the girlfriend wore that perfume and their boyfriend sniffing them like crazy.)

I wonder how ateez would react..

I would be happy if you do it 🥺

Hi anon! Omg I absolutely love this idea. I am also curious how Ateez would react in this situation, so let’s dive in to see what I’ve come up with! 😈🙏

Ateez's Reactions to You Using a Pheromone Perfume Around Them

A/N: Sometimes I changed the prompt to have already established the pheromone perfume or it wasn't necessarily used to seduce the member. I hope that's okay! I just got bored of essentially writing the same thing in different fonts so I had to change it up a bit for my sake, but all stories still involve the perfume! Please be sure to drop a like, reblog if you enjoyed it, and comment your favorite part! Happy reading!

─── ･｡ﾟ☆: .☽ . :☆ﾟ. ･｡ﾟ☆: .☽ . :☆ﾟ. ･｡ﾟ☆: .☽ . :☆ﾟ. ･｡ﾟ☆: .☽ . :☆───

Hongjoong

Going for a night drive with Hongjoong, being the passenger princess like you loved. Listening to the music playing from the stereo and taking in the beautiful scenery of city life at night. The peaceful humming of Hongjoong singing along to the song currently playing and tapping the steering wheel to the beat. Sitting at a red light waiting to turn, you decided to dig in your bag for your perfume to "touch up your scent." Fortunately for Hongjoong, the perfume of choice for the night was the pheromone perfume that has been seen all over the internet. You saw videos of how crazy it made everyone’s boyfriends react, and you wanted to try it out on him. You opened the cap and rolled the perfume on your wrists and neck, snapping the cap back on the perfume and placing it into your bag. The light changed, and Hongjoong was able to turn. Your body leaned closer to him since you were turning left, and the air in the car blew the smell of your perfume over to him. He glanced over at you to make sure you didn’t spill anything since the smell was so strong. It was a smell he had never smelled before, but it was making his body react in an animalistic way.

“Mm, b-baby what did you just put on?”

“Nothing..just my usual perfume.” You smirked, realizing it had such a quick effect on him.

“Can’t be.” He shifted in his seat with his eyes forward. “This perfume is different than your other kind.” His grip on the wheel tightens, and he looks for a place to pull over. His breathing increases heavily as he keeps leaning over to your side of the car to catch a better whiff.

“Hongjoong what are you-?” You say as he quickly whips into an almost empty parking lot, harshly puts the car in park, and unfastens his seatbelt, crawling over to you. His face dove straight into your neck, and he was sniffing you like a wild dog. You reached your hand up to his face as he breathed in your smell.

“I’m sorry baby. We’ll get back to our drive later. I need to get more of you right now.”

Seonghwa

You were sitting in front of your vanity, getting ready for your date with Seonghwa. You were almost finished with your routine. Just a few more touch-ups you had to do. You had this perfume that Seonghwa loved when you wore it because it made him find you irresistible. Little did he know, it was a pheromone perfume that was meant to drive him crazy. You had seen it everywhere online and decided you wanted to try it out on him. You picked up your favorite lip gloss and rolled it across your lips. You see Seonghwa walking up to you in the mirror. You smiled softly as you watched him approach you.

“You look amazing darling~.” He said this as he kissed the top of your head, looking at you in the mirror.

“Thank you baby. I always try to look nice for you.”

"Well, you don’t have to try that hard~ since you always look amazing.” He rests his head on top of yours as he gently wraps his arms around you. You finished getting ready as he cuddled you. Shortly after, you finished your makeup and turned to Seonghwa.

“All done~.”

“Mmm, not yet. You’re forgetting something.” He says this as he gets up off your head to reach for the vile of pheromone perfume on the desk.

“Seonghwa I can’t wear that.”

“Please darling? I wanna put it on you.” He said it with a slight pout as he popped off the cap of the perfume, and you couldn’t help but smile and nod as he seemed so excited to help you out. He dotted the bottle along your collarbone, careful not to put on too much as it would drive him absolutely insane. He placed the cap back on the bottle and set it down. He looked you in the eyes and up and down, taking in the view before him. Leaning down to take a small whiff, the smell of the perfume fills his senses and his head.

“Now I’ll have to fight all the men who try to come after you tonight.” He says with a smirk as he takes your hand and helps you up off the chair to go on your date.

Yunho

You felt bad that every time Yunho would talk about Valorant or Spider-Man, you always had to just nod and smile. The guilt was setting in because you could not really understand what he was saying. The excitement and passion on his face was enough to keep you interested, but the information would never stick because you had no baseline, and then you felt bad when he would ask you, “Oh, remember this thing I told you?” and you couldn’t remember. To make your teaching interesting, you put on a pheromone perfume that you recently bought online. Apparently, the perfume had an effect on men that activated their hormones and made them go crazy over you. Gliding the perfume on your wrist and across your neck, making sure to put it on your sweet spots. You picked up a notebook and pen to be able to take notes to study. You walked over to where Yunho was.

“Yunho I want you to teach me about Valorant.”

“H-huh? All of a sudden?”

“Yeah! I feel bad when I can’t remember the things you tell me, so give me the basics so I can study and be able to remember better.”

“Ah..o-okay. Have a seat.” He said, patting next to him, smiling and looking at you. You walked over and sat down next to him. The breeze from you sitting down went over to Yunho, and a new scent filled his nose. His breath hitched in his throat, and you gave him a confused expression.

“You alright love?”

“I-I don’t know.” He leaned in closer to you and took a deep breath. “Did you get a new perfume?”

“Yeah, I saw it online and wanted to try it.” You admitted it shyly, hiding what the perfume actually did and admiring the way Yunho was acting.

“It- it smells really good. I like it a lot.” He leaned closer to you and breathed in heavily again. Placing a hand on the back of your neck and sticking his nose into the crevice.

“Yunho- what about Valorant?”

“Valorant is the least important thing right now. Give me a few minutes with you instead.”

Yeosang

Trying out the viral pheromone perfume that so many ladies on the internet said worked wonders. After doing dozens of hours of research to find the best one, you placed an order and waited for it to come in the mail. You were busy doing other things at the time it was delivered, so Yeosang brought the package in for you.

“This has your name on it baby.”

“Oh! Thank you!” You say as you take the package and smile to yourself.

“What did you order?”

“Ah, n-nothing. Just something I saw on the internet that I wanted. People have been saying it’s really good.” You shyly smile and set the package on your side. Yeosang nods and lets you get back to your work. When he leaves the room, you excitedly open the package and examine the product. You open the box and slide out a little dark blue vial that has a ball-roll cap on the end. You took the cap off and sniffed it. You couldn’t really smell anything, but you thought maybe it would smell different on your skin. You applied it generously to your skin and popped the cap back on. Waiting a few minutes for it to soak in and trying to sniff your wrists. There was a soft vanilla scent; it was quite pleasant, but not like your everyday perfume. You wanted to see how Yeosang reacted to it, since the internet made it seem instantaneous. You walked out of your room and went over to him.

“Did you try your thing out?” He asked as he watched you walk in. You nodded and hummed a “mmhmm”, walking over to him, hoping the smell would permeate over to him quickly.

“What do you think~?”

“Well, I’m not sure what you got.”

“It was a new perfume I wanted to try.” You said this as you held your wrist near his nose. He leaned closer to take a whiff of it and pondered for a moment.

“Did you...put enough on? It doesn’t really smell like anything.”

“I-I think I did..” Your voice trails off, feeling saddened and tricked by the internet yet again.

“I mean, I smell something, but it’s just not that strong.” Yeosang says a little more upbeat cause he could tell you were getting slightly upset. You sniffed your wrist again, and it still smelled the same.

“Maybe I got the wrong kind?”

“Everyone’s skin takes perfumes differently darling. Don’t feel bad.” Yeosang reassured you as he placed his hand on your shoulder and rubbed gently. You nodded softly and laid your head on his shoulder. He breathed in softly and noticed that something felt different about him. His body was reacting in some way to this new perfume you had on. He tried not to notice what was going on, but as he breathed in more, the scent only got more and more overwhelming for him. He fidgeted in his seat, and you couldn’t help but notice.

“You alright Yeosang?”

“I-I think I understand what this perfume does now.” He quickly said this under his breath before he turned over and placed you down on the couch, diving his nose into your neck to take in more of the scent. "Y-You should wear this more often my sweet."

San

Secretly applying this new pheromone perfume that you bought online in the room next to San’s gaming room. You bought it because you heard it smells really good, and men will find you irresistible. You unexpectedly got a call from one of your friends begging you to meet up for dinner, as you haven’t hung out in forever because of being busy with work. You accepted, seeing as San was busy with gaming. You walked into his room, tapped on his shoulder, and he removed his headphone from one ear to listen to you. You tell him you were going to go out with your friend. He nodded quickly, breathed in, and was immediately stunned by what he was smelling. He excused himself from the game and removed his headset, standing up and touching all over you, pushing himself closer to you.

“Darling, d-did you do something different?”

“No, just the usual.” You smirked to yourself, surprised it had this quick of an effect on him. He pressed his nose into the crevice of your neck, breathing heavily through his nose. “S-Sannie I have to go now.”

“You’re not going anywhere.” He growls as he pushes his body even closer to yours and breathes in quicker to gather more of your scent. You bring your hands up to try to push him off of you so that you can get ready to go meet up with your friend.

“San…I-I have to go- my friend-“ Your words are being cut off by San kissing and rubbing his nose along your neck.

“Sorry darling, but you’re not meeting with your friend tonight. I need you here with me instead.”

Mingi

“I got this for you love.” Mingi said as he handed you a small gift bag. You smiled and awed as you were taken aback by his sudden and kind action. Mingi always loved buying you things that he thought you would like. You carefully opened the bag and unrolled the tissue paper that was wrapped around the small, long, rectangular box inside the bag. You examined the box and saw it was a type of roll-on perfume. The label had a bunch of different fruits on the side, so you assumed it had a fruity smell. You smiled and looked at Mingi with loving eyes. He had a flustered look on his face.

“Thank you Mingi! I appreciate it very much.”

"Ah, it’s nothing really…I-I saw that a lot of girls online were buying it and saying how good it was, and my girl always has to have the best.” He was fidgeting with his hands at his sides.

“I love you so much Mingi.” You placed a gentle kiss on his cheek, and he smiled at your gesture. “I’ll go try it out right now.” You excused yourself to the bathroom and opened the perfume box. You sniffed the cap and couldn’t really smell anything at first. Applying it gently to your skin, you sniffed where you placed it and got a hint of a citrus smell. It was a light scent that you could use in case of an emergency. Setting the tube back on the bathroom counter, you walked back out to the room Mingi was in.

“This smells pretty good Mingi, thank you!” You said with glee as you sat down beside him. As you sat down, the air blew the perfume smell over to him, and he breathed in. The intoxicating smell immediately filled his nostrils and filled his head with thoughts. You saw him tense up as you sat down and raised an eyebrow. “Everything okay?”

“Y-yeah everything’s fine.” He smiled and shifted in his seat. You dismissed his odd behavior and cuddled up next to him. Mingi kept shifting in his seat and leaning down to smell the perfume on you.

“Are you sure you’re okay?” Mingi holted his actions and sighed.

“I have to tell you something….that perfume…it’s a..pheromone perfume.” He stuttered out and couldn’t meet your eyes.

“O-oh…” Your face flushed as it connected why he bought it for you.

“Yeah…and now my brain and body are on fire, and I need to show you how you just made me feel.”

Wooyoung

You had had a small argument with Wooyoung earlier in the day, which resulted in you not talking to each other that much. You both had errands you needed to run, so you went together just to save time. Stupidly, you had forgotten something inside the house and asked if he could run inside quick and get it for you since you were already buckled in the driver’s seat. He silently nodded, let out a small "mhm,” and got out of the car to get your item. You couldn’t handle Wooyoung not talking to you even after you apologized, so you decided to try out this pheromone perfume that one of your friends had given you. You rolled it on your wrists and neck, the spots that make the scent stick the best. You saw Wooyoung coming back in the rear view mirror and quickly placed the perfume back in your bag. He opened the door and handed you the item you had forgotten, leaning close to you to make sure you didn’t have to stretch too far to reach it. You heard him take a sniff through his nose, and he paused for a second.

“Are you wearing that perfume?”

“What are you talking about Youngie?”

“That perfume. I’ve been seeing it all over the internet.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about. It’s just my normal perfume-“ Your words were cut off by Wooyoung diving his face into your neck and placed his hand on the other side. He kissed the side of your face.

“You smell so good baby.” You smirk to yourself, seeing how feral he was acting over your scent. Driving his nose further into your neck and leaving sloppy kisses all over your neck.

“Are you not mad at me anymore?”

“I couldn’t be mad at you anymore, but our errands are going to have to wait a little longer.”

Jongho

Jongho was planning on going out with the boys today, but you decided to try to see if you could keep him home with you instead. You secretly rolled on the pheromone perfume that you got a while ago that he really seemed to like on you, for obvious reasons. Just before he walked into your room to tell you he was getting ready to go, he made a small knock on your door. You greeted him with a smile, and he smiled right back at you. Walking over towards you to give you a kiss goodbye.

"Alright baby, the boys are waiting for me outside."

"Okie, bye sweetheart. I love you. Have fun!" You tell him as he leans down towards you to give you a kiss on the forehead before he leaves. After the kiss, he makes his way back over to the door of your room, but turns around before fully walking out, looking back at you and softly licking his lips. He walks back over to you again, and you're confused as to why he came back. Leaning down close to you to get another whiff of your scent. He has this huge smile on his face as he leans back up.

"Is that what I think it is?"

"What do you mean Jongho?"

"The-the perfume? That I like. The special perfume?" The smile on his face is so contagious, you can't help but smile back at him as well.

"No~." You tease him as you softly laugh at his reaction to it, knowing that you are getting exactly what you want. "Just go have fun with the boys!"

"O-okay yeah, you're right. I'm going now." He says as he slowly walks backwards to the door, still smiling like a fool at you. "Love you!"

"Love you too baby." He reaches for the door handle and goes to pull it shut. Not a moment passes and he opens the door back up.

"Do you wanna watch a movie instead?" Popping his head out from the side of the door.

"What happened with going out with the boys~?" You can't help but laugh at him wanting to stay with you, and it's all thanks to the perfume you put on.

"Y-yeah, I think I'd rather go out with you though babe. Stay in for the night, you know?" He waltzes his way back into your room, coming closer to you and catching another whiff of the perfume.

"I guess I can't say no to you~."

"Oh, I know you can't." His face is pressed into your neck, and you feel the gentle air coming in and out of his nose as he breathes in and out, taking in your scent.

Tags: @pre1ttyies @isiloiale @moongoddess1982 @xuchiya @myloveforyunho

@yeosangsbbg @sanipan @10nantscompanion @sanspuppet @sugawara-levi

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hongjoongscafe · 2 years

Text

Blind Beauty

{one}{two}{three (final)}

Pairing: blind!hongjoong×insecure!reader(grace)

Genre: fluff, angst, implied smut, nudity

Summary: only the mind's eye can see the true beauty.

NOTE: Read While Listening To Romantic/Romantic Sad Songs. I have added some songs' links. Do listen to them when they are linked:) I hope you like it.

Warnings: lots of angst, crying, mention of drunk sex, non-consensual sex tape, insecurities, lots of touchy-touchy, blow job, pussy eating. (Lemme know if there is something else.)

Word count: 13.2k+ (👀)

Materpost

*DO NOT REPOST, PLZ*

"But love is blind, and lovers cannot see

The pretty follies that themselves commit"

~William Shakespeare {The Merchant of Venice}

~~~

"So who do you want me to meet?" Hongjoong visited his parents after talking to Grace on the phone.

"Hongjoong-ah," his mother poured some traditional green tea into the cup, "guests are coming any minute now. You will know," she said and handed the tea to Hongjoong and Seonghwa.

"But I should know who is coming," he whined.

"You are still a child, aren't you?" His father giggled. "But it's a surprise. We are sure you will like it," they smiled.

The family talked about different stuff. They met frequently as they lived near Hongjoong's house. His parents have always been protective of him. He wanted to move to Seoul from Anyang, Gyeonggi-do. But his parents were worried about him along with Seonghwa. Hongjoong had bigger dreams, they could only come closer to true if he moved there. Thinking about his happiness, his parents and Seonghwa moved there to look after him.

Hongjoong didn't say anything about them moving where he wanted. Although he was genuinely sad by the fact that he indeed needed them. A new place for him could have been a bigger challenge than it already was. To his surprise, his parents and Seonghwa didn't live in the same place as him. That did give him some confidence about having his own house and maintaining it. Which he did perfectly, now that he knew the map of his house like the back of his hand.

Hongjoong got startled when the horribly loud doorbell rang. Mother Kim quickly got up with a clap and went to open the door. He listened to her greeting the guests before they followed her into the sitting area.

"Please make yourself comfortable," Mrs. Kim said.

"Mr. Lee," Mr. Kim began, "meet him, my wonderful son… Hongjoong," he patted Hongjoong's back.

"Ah, the infamous man!" Mr. Lee exclaimed. "Such a handsome boy he grew out to be! When they were younger, he was such a cute boy. Look at his proportions now! Only if I was a lady, I would have said yes immediately," Hongjoong frowned.

Seonghwa was feeling unsettled. It wasn't that Hongjoong's parents were bad, they were supportive. But this situation looked far more complicated and alarming. They should have told them about the guests. Especially when there was a whole family of four sitting in front of them.

"Ah!" Chuckled Mr. Kim, "you are still the same!"

Hongjoong's ears perked at this statement. He remembered the Lee family. They were one of their most important friends back when he was younger. But they left when he was eight years old. Their daughter, Ara, was his best friend. They didn't stop talking because the Lee family had to go away. She stopped being friends with him when they were seven years old, leaving him in the unknown darkness.

His child mind was so attracted to her. It was always Ara for him and nobody else. Sometimes, Seonghwa would be angry at Hongjoong for hanging out with Ara all the time.

"No, I haven't changed but our kids definitely did," he smiled. "And look at Seonghwa! Such a handsome man," Seonghwa wasn't familiar with the family. He wasn't sure who they were and how they knew him. So he just smiled and bowed slightly with an awkward smile.

"I don't think that you remember this man, Seonghwa," Mr. Kim said.

"Unfortunately," Seonghwa hesitated, "I don't."

"Do you remember Ara?"

'No fuck,' Hongjoong thought.

Seonghwa tried to remember, "Ah, yes. I do… oh my good fate! Wow, I completely forgot about it!" Hongjoong could tell that Seonghwa was uncomfortable and was faking the excitement.

"Mm, we figured," they chuckled. "But today is something special. Mr. Lee and his family came back to Anyang, Gyeonggi-do, and their daughter, Ara, now lives in Seoul."

"Oky…?" Hongjoong's mind was bland, trying to figure out what they were trying to say.

"We want you and Ara to marry each other," Mrs. Kim came happily back with some juice and snacks.

"What!?" Hongjoong and Seonghwa said in unison.

"You heard it right! Both the families always wanted to do this. But things changed and we had to move to America but now that we are back, we would love to see you both together," Mrs. Lee said in her sweet voice. She was a kind lady. Her values were well known in the whole area.

"No, no! This can't be happening! We need to leave, Seonghwa," Hongjoong stood up.

"Please, Hongjoong, don't do this. W-we understand your worries but it was in the past. You guys were young… mistakes happen. Give her a chance," Mr. Lee insisted.

"But I—"

"Joong, just go and talk to the pretty lady in private once," his father abruptly cut him off with a stern voice.

Defeated, Hongjoong nodded. Seonghwa's hand squeezed Hongjoong's to let him know that he was there and that he would get out sooner. Hongjoong sighed.

"Oky," he muttered and walked carefully towards the room, Ara following behind.

~~~

It is now the weekend. Grace, Yunho, and Mingi traveled to their parents to celebrate the engagement of the tall couple. Mingi's sister, Elena, joined them as well.

Yunho and Mingi have visited many times during these few years but not Grace. Her pathetic life has always kept her from going back. Knowing that her past choices, which her parents already warned her about, were bad. Facing them was the hardest thing she could do. Her constant excuses about the university and then work always saved her from going back.

However, she couldn't run so far from them. She needed to face them and accept the reality of the misery that her life was. But there was one thing that wasn't a misery and that was Hongjoong.

Yeah, that's the only person that she was looking forward to.

The train came to a pause at the station. The boys volunteered to carry the luggage as it was not much, only for two days. The platform was rushy, everyone was packed and was trying to get on the train or go out of the station.

Luckily, behind her two tall and broad best friends, Grace and Elena didn't have to make much effort making their way out. As they passed out from the rush, Grace saw her mother almost immediately. Her eyes welled up. Grace's mother, Mumma Daisy, was also teary.

Mumma Daisy jogged toward her daughter and stood in front of her. "God, look at you, Grace! Oh dear, look at you all grown up. Where did your innocent face go? That childish one?" Her tears dripped down as well Grace's.

They hugged each other tightly and let their emotions take over. The distance that Grace and her family created was bittersweet. They talked over the phone but it felt like they were just keeping the are-you-alive track.

It wasn't only that Grace made some choices that made her and her family awkward with each other. No. It was how things were handled. Instead of being there for Grace and softly telling her that they are there for her, they simply let their anger out on her and made her feel that she was still a kid and can't do a thing for her good and that she was too immature to be true.

There was more to it. So much more. The way her father acted was her last straw.

"You have no sense of men! Always choosing the rag of a person! And now you are sitting here, bawling your eyes out!" Your father, papa Jung-ho, flared out. "I can't even go out in public without feeling shame."

"But it's not my fault!" Grace cried. Her throat felt like closing up. Her face was hurting because of all the crying.

"Do you even know what happened!?" Papa Jung-Ho shouted. "When I gave you the phone, I didn't expect you to do this! I thought you were responsible enough, Grace," he huffed and picked up his jacket, storming out of his house, somewhere he couldn't see Grace for a while.

Grace was sitting on the floor, looking almost dead. Her heart ached. She was already going through enough. A breakup, betrayal, humiliation, and now the pain of her father not wanting to even be in the same room.

That was the last time she went back home.

Grace pulled back from her mother whose eyes were running all over her features, trying to locate the changes. There was a lot. Mumma Daisy could list thousands of things… What made her want to cry was, most of them were negative. It shined on Grace's face that she went through shit before standing in front of her mother.

Just do not bother Grace, she kept mum about her worries. She was well aware that it might backlash against her. Mumma Daisy could do much more when Grace left the house in tears and with a broken heart. She was well aware that her daughter needed some warmth and love but she was bound by the fate of her husband who was blinded by rage and shame that he couldn't see that his daughter was going through more than he could ever imagine.

~~~

Hongjoong's eyes shed tears while he was listening to some random RnB music on the record player. It was looking dramatic. The way his head was dropped on the side and the way he was swinging in his rocking chair by the window.

"I can't believe they thought that this was the right idea," Seonghwa sighed. "They know everything and yet they did that. And the reason was even shittier, no offense to you, Joong."

Hongjoong sighed and sat straight, "I can't either. I understand their worries but they need to leave me alone for a minute and not jump to these old-school solutions. I am old and experienced enough for myself. I-I just need some time... I feel like I found one but then again I can't jump to conclusions when I am unaware of her feelings," he whispered in the last part.

Seonghwa got up from his place on the couch and stood next to his best friend and patted his shoulder. "I know that, Joong. And if you ask me, she is head over heels for you. You know when she looks at you, her cheeks get dusted by this beautiful, innocent blush. Her ears look like two slices of tomato. Her eyes shimmer, smile widens. It's funny how she met you not so long ago and already cares for you so much. At the little party at their apartment, she kept the most comfortable stuff for you. I talked to Yunho later, he told me how she went as far as making the house look good only for you. Do you know what she said to Yunho when he said you won't know?" Hongjoong shook his head as no, "she said: yeah, but he can feel it. That girl is so ready to make you hers. But yeah, giving some time would be better so that you both grow with each other and understand better. I love it for you, Joong. Don't lose her because of your insecurities. Talk to her. I have said this before as well," Seonghwa gave a last pat on his shoulder and turned around. "It's getting late now. I must get going. I have left a water bottle on your nightstand. Just lock the door and go to sleep. Don't overthink or worry about anything… It's gonna be fine."

The sound of the door closing signed that the older man left. Hongjoong sighed heavily and thought about what Seonghwa said about Grace's reactions and the little stuff she did to make him comfortable. He wasn't sure if he should cry about the fact that he couldn't experience it, that he can't see her; or be happy that she react in such a way to him. His mind went on and on about Grace and was stuck on what Seonghwa said.

Insecurity.

Being blind wasn't his option and it certainly wasn't something that should be his insecurity because he just simply didn't have control over this. But it still was. He was different no matter what his capabilities were. Even if he could read, write, sing, play instruments, and dance sometimes, he was still disabled. He was still looked at with either pity or disgust.

Grace was the only person that was neutral to him. She neither overly reacted nor under-ly reacted. She was fine with what he was. Instead, she was head over heels— as Seonghwa said— for someone like him.

Before his insecurities could consume him, he got up and locked his door, and went to bed.

He couldn't wait for Tuesday. There was a lot he wanted to talk about.

~~~

The restaurant was filled with people talking, cutlery clinking against the plates and bowls. The air was filled with the delicious scent of food.

The food was served. Grace was sitting in between Yunho and Elena. Elena was on her left and Yunho was on the right with Mingi. They all were talking and having fun.

Except for Grace.

She spent her whole day at home but not once did her father share a word with her. Keeping her pride aside, she tried talking but he wouldn't budge. It saddened her. Whatever happened back then, was not her fault by any means. She was the victim who needed support but instead, everyone made her feel like shit and taunted her to no end.

Yunho's and Mingi's parents were so nice. They talked to her about anything and everything, knowing that her father was still stuck somewhere dark. It was traumatizing, what happened but he forgot that it was happening with his daughter. But he was beaten by what people had to say.

"I can't believe you guys are now engaged. I still remember you all being so tiny," Yunho's mother said. "When Yunho introduced us to Mingi as his boyfriend, we were so happy and were thinking about this day and now that this day has arrived, I feel like we are getting too old."

"Yebo, they are kids, they are meant to be grown. What I am really happy about is that at least they are so nice and trustable. I fear nothing," Yunho's father said.

"It has always been a pleasure that our kids were close and now it's like a dream come true," Mingi's mother said, and his father nodded in agreement.

"It must be nice to have responsible kids, no?" Grace's father curtly said.

Grace was already regretting coming here, hands clutching the fork tightly. But she was keeping herself at ease just for her friends.

"Ah, Grace is so responsible too. The interview in the magazine was so good. I have been showing it off everywhere," Mumma Daisy proudly said.

"What about dignity? One should have some," he spat.

Yunho brought his hand under the table and held Grace's trembling hand tightly to calm her down. He has seen her cry and heard her breaking down through the thin walls. This whole situation was outrageous for him, seeing papa Jung-Ho acting like boiled his blood. But he couldn't say anything. He was raised better than that.

"It's not like that. Grace has been so responsible. Handling a huge business and other stuff and taking care of us, it's not easy. She is doing her best!" Yunho praised.

"Mhm, within the next few months, her brand will be considered a luxury," Mingi proudly added. "She is the most successful out of all of us!"

"Grace, sweetheart, we all are so proud of you," Yunho's mother said.

"True, the other day we saw you on a billboard," Mingi's father said.

"Thank you so much, I appreciate it," Grace shyly said. "I don't have control over many things, but what I can control, I ace it."

Grace's father scoffed.

"So good, my love. Tell us more," Mingi's mother said. "What's going on these days? Have you found someone?" She wiggled her eyebrows. Everyone at the table was looking at her, except her father. Her mother's ears were waiting, she was well aware that if she showed some interest, Jung-Ho would create a scene at home.

Grace's cheeks heated up when Yunho cleared his throat as a tease. "Well, I recently met this guy, a wonderful guy."

Mrs. Jeong and Mrs. Song gasped with happiness. "Tell us more," they said in unison.

"What does he look like? What does he do? Any photos?" They bombed many questions onto her.

She felt nervous. It was a judgemental situation that she had to go through. It isn't common to date a blind person. But at the same time not bad. People have just made it a taboo. But she wasn't afraid or ashamed of it. She was proud of her Hongjoong, a blind man who can do anything. There is nothing more prideful for her.

"His name is Hongjoong," She looked at Yunho who was squeezing her hand to tell her that details are not necessary if she doesn't want to share. She gave him a tiny smile and continued, "he works at multiple places depending upon days. He is a motivational speaker too. And he is blind."

The table fell quiet. Dangerously calm. But Grace didn't bother and just kept on eating her dinner so did Elena, Yunho, and Mingi. They weren't bothered by this fact. Elena has seen Hongjoong multiple times at the cafe and she would be lying if she said that he wasn't good. He was the best customer she ever had, Seonghwa included.

Papa Jung-Ho stood up and threw the napkin, which was on his lap, harshly on the seat and left the restaurant. The silence was awkward but Grace embraced it because she was too proud to feel anything else than love for Hongjoong.

But it bothered her when her mother followed her father with her head hung. Grace now understood the weight of her parent's marriage. It was dominated by her father and she was weighed down by his actions. She did not have her own say even though they called themselves "pretty forward according to the time".

"You are not doing anything wrong, darling. He is just all over the place," Mrs. Jeong said with her honey-laced voice.

"It doesn't matter. I know he won't be happy with any of my decisions. He wasn't happy when I took fashion designing. Or when I decided to move on. I don't expect him to be happy now. It is how it is. You don't need to say something on his behalf when he doesn't mean it himself. I'm happy with what I have. I know what I am doing," Grace smiled and lowered her fork. "I must get going now."

Before anybody could stop her, she was out of the restaurant.

Feelings. Yeah, they were broken.

~~~

When Grace arrived back home after walking around and sorting out her thoughts, she found her luggage at the door with a note on it.

'We should have named you Disgrace.

Don't show up unless you learn some sense and build some dignity.'

All she could do was scoff and sit on the steps. She called a cab for herself and decided to stay in a hotel for a night and would leave back home to Seoul before everyone else. She didn't belong here. The expectations were different; the ways to handle things were different; understandings were different; the way to look at the world was different. She wondered how Hongjoong lived in this fucked up world, full of heartless people.

The ringtone of her phone pulled her out of her trance as her cab arrived. She did have a cheaper option of staying at Yunho's which was next door but Grace and her family already ruined their dinner, she wasn't comfortable with pushing it too much.

The hotel room was small but cozy. It is always hard to find a nice room on such short notice and that too at this time. There was a window next to the bed that showed off the light traffic around.

Changing into a comfortable loose shirt that she stole from Yunho, she got under the covers and looked outside. Her mind was screaming to hear Hongjoong's voice. So she called him at one in the morning.

Hongjoong was about to go to bed after completing his work for this week when his phone vibrated on the nightstand. The automated voice informed him that the call was from Grace. He got worried. She never called him at this hour.

"Hello? Grace?" He picked up.

"H-hi," her breathy voice didn't help him.

"Hey, are you okay?" He asked worriedly.

"Yeah, I'm sorry that I called this late," she said. Her throat was threatening to burst. She couldn't contain herself.

"No, please, you can call me anytime you want. I don't mind," he softly said. "Please tell me what happened. I can tell something is off."

A sob broke from her throat and tears finally spilled. "I'm missing you, Joongie. I wish I could hug you," I am not fine. I feel like I'm losing everything I have. I'm stuck somewhere haunted. I wish I could be with you and feel like I belong with someone. I'm having trouble, Joongie. Get me out of here. That's what she wanted to say.

Hongjoong swore that he heard his heart breaking into little pieces. "Hey, I'm right here, Grace. It's alright. We will meet on Tuesday, right?"

"Y-yeah," she sobbed. "I miss you so much. You are the best," Grace cried.

Hongjoong lay down on the bed with the phone still attached to his ear. He was hurting too. He knew that there was more to it and that she was hurting. So was he. And he missed you too. He lay there and listened through your cries with his silent tears pouring out.

Grace hated crying in front of people. She hated showing people her weak side but she felt safe here, talking to Hongjoong.

They stayed like that until they both calmed down. Only sniffles could be heard.

"Good night, Joongie," She said.

"Good night, baby."

~~~

Grace had informed Yunho about her early leave. Although, he was salty about her not telling him about last night and straight up going to a hotel rather than coming to his place.

She was too ashamed to even face any of them after what her family did at the dinner. It wasn't about Hongjoong, no, that was never the reason why she was feeling ashamed. It was how her father just couldn't suck it up for a few and always played the victim. It was too much to handle. There were better things to focus on and she was going back to those.

Hongjoong was worried. His mind was still pacing around the bush. The call with Grace made him feel uneasy. He wanted to talk to Seonghwa about it but he held himself. He wanted to take care of her himself and wanted to be responsible.

He was happy too. She called him when she was feeling down. Isn't that good? People, when they are hurt, call the person they trust the most. But it was sad nonetheless because he didn't want to hear her cry like that. His heart was wrecked.

"Tuesday, please come faster."

~~~

It was finally Tuesday.

When Yunho came back, Grace tried to not talk about it as much. Understanding, Yunho didn't push too much. He just let her be.

He knew that personal space meant more than anything to her. She wanted to be left alone. It hurt Yunho slightly though. He wanted her to be happy. And he insisted that nothing bad will happen but we all know how that turned out.

"How does this look?" Grace asked Yunho while twirling in a black dress with thick straps that were knotted in cute bows over her shoulders. It fell an inch above her knees.

"Perfect!" He stood up and came closer. "Excited for the date?"

"Mhm," she shyly said, fiddling with her dress.

"Great! I'll call Mingi then," she smacked his arm playfully. "Oky, no. In all seriousness, I'm so happy and proud of you... I hope you know that the garden doesn't die when you pluck some flowers. It is still filled with colors and joy, oky?"

Grace's heart softened, very well aware of where this all was coming from. "I know. Thank you for everything, Yuyu. I love you so much," she hugged him tight.

"Ya, have a good date. Love you too," he pecked her head.

"Mhm, just gonna put on some makeup and leave."

She kept her makeup simple and neat. Peachy natural look with her favorite nude lip shade looked perfect. Wearing her pretty black heels, not too tall for the sake of her ankles, she was ready to leave to pick her date up.

Saying her wishes to Yunho, who was already calling Mingi, she left. The drive was not so far. Giving him a call, she informed him of her arrival.

Hongjoong came down in five minutes. Grace got out of her car to greet him. "Hongjoong."

He giggled with giddiness, "Grace."

They stopped in front of each other. Grace looked at him up and down. He looked so fucking handsome in his all-black look. His hair pulled back, no longer blue but black. He looked so hot that it made her rub her thighs. He looked like a piece of snack.

"Fuck," was she could say.

"Ah, why? Do I not look good?" He asked with a question mark face.

"No. I mean, wow. You look so hot. It is illegal for you to be out there. Damn, where did that cute hamster go?" She stuttered.

"Oh," he chuckled. "Thank you. You look so good as well!" He wished he could see you. Seonghwa's words repeated in his mind again and again.

"Thank you so much. It means a lot to me," Grace blushed.

Coming closer, she held his bicep and kissed his cheek. The whip of her perfume blessed Hongjoong's nose. His nose searched for more of her scent. His cheek heated at the pleasant contact. Oh, he was falling hard. He loved her closeness. The way he wanted to pull her in a hug, he had a hard time holding himself back.

His thoughts broke when she tugged him gently towards the car, "here," she opened the door and guided him in. She kept a hand above the entrance to prevent his head from hitting it.

Quickly getting in herself, she made sure that everything was in place, and then she started the car and took off to the restaurant she booked for the night. Some nice jazz was being played in the background. The silence in the car was pleasant. It was like they were away from the loud world, in their safe space.

The night was chilly. Grace shivered and got goosebumps. She quickly opened the trunk of her car and took the black shawl with her to keep her warm.

The waitress took them to their table which was in the corner, away from nosey people. Luckily she booked an indoor table or else she was going to fall sick. Anyway, the aroma of the restaurant was luxurious. The sizzling sounds of the meat from the little show they put on were enduring to their ears.

Grace sat next to him at the round table. She recited the menu to him and ordered whatever they decided on. Hongjoong's hands were on the table. They were so beautiful and looked so soft. She brought her hand up and held his warm one with her cold one.

"You are cold," he said.

"Don't worry I have a shawl," she kissed his knuckles.

Giggling, he brought her hand to his lips and kissed her, lingering a bit there. "I will always worry for you, Grace."

"And I will for you, Joongie," she looked into his eyes. They weren't focused but she knew the hidden feelings behind those dark orbs.

"With that, I wanna say something," he said.

"What is it?"

"I was wondering if we could talk today?" He sighed, "there are few things that I wanna get off of my chest."

"Of course, that's why we are on a date. Isn't it?" She took a sip of the water that was just served. "What is it?"

"Not here… maybe we could go to mine later on?" He hesitantly asked.

Grace thought about it for a second. "Of course, we can do that."

The rest of the dinner was romantic. They played footsies under the table and the environment around them was giggly and filled with soft voices. The people from other tables looked at them with stars in their eyes. It was a rare sight of two young people in love.

Love…

~~~

"Feel at home, Grace," Hongjoong said as he invited her into his house.

It was small and cozy. He had some plants and many books on the shelf. Some pictures around with, what seemed like, his family. The living room was clean and well organized. It had warm colors, giving the homely feeling that she never felt in her own house. This felt like home. Somewhere she would want to go after a long day at work.

"It's an absolutely wonderful place, Joongie. So cozy and clean," she said.

He blushed, "thank you. I can't see, but I try to maintain as much as I can. It makes me happy."

"You surprise me every time, Joongie," she sat on the fluffy couch.

Hongjoong carefully sat next to her, trying not to end up on her lap. "I'm just trying my best."

"And you are doing better than anybody," she whispered, flustered at the closeness that he was oblivious of.

But he gasped when her hot breath fanned over his features. He apologized and scooted just a tad bit back. Still close.

"What do you wanna talk about?" She asked, eyes drinking up his features from the intimacy.

"There are so many things. I don't know where to start," he chuckled nervously.

"We have the whole night, Joongie… let it out," she took his hand and rested it in her lap, and caressed it.

"I feel so much for you, Grace. It scares me," he confessed.

Her pupils dilated but her eyes saddened at his last statement, "what scares you?"

"That I'm not enough, you know? No matter what, I'm still a disabled man. I can never be someone perfect. It scares me so much. I feel like our chapter is small, you know? Like, we are meant for less time. And I wanna embrace this time with all I have. I can't make you mine because I just can't be enough. I'm not enough," he tried to keep his tears back.

Grace's hold tightened around his hand. "Why do you think like this? You are enough. You are better than anybody else I know," a tear slipped from her eyes.

"After our date, my parents asked me to be there the next day. They wanted me to meet someone," he paused. "Seonghwa and I went there the next day. They had invited an old friend of ours. Well, theirs. They have a daughter and we used to play together, Seonghwa too. The three of us were inseparable. It was so nice back then. But one day, Ara— the daughter— got disgusted by me and fought with me. We were still young kids. I think we were seven back then. She left. She never came back to play with us and a few months later, the whole family flew to America… Now, after so long, they came back. I- my parents and hers wanted us to marry each other," Grace's hold loosened.

'Is that it? Is he breaking up?' Before she could go any further, he held her hand and continued.

"After she fought with me back when we were kids, I wasn't interested in her, not even a bit. But they insisted that we should talk in private because back then we were young and– and couldn't understand certain things. So we did talk…" he smiled with tears brimming his eyes as he looked down to the side," Guess some people don't change."

"Listen, I really don't want this," Hongjoong said as he closed the door of the guest room behind him.

"Do you think I want this?" Ara harshly said.

"I know you don't," he whispered and sat down on the sofa that was in the corner and she sat on the edge of the bed.

"Who would want to destroy their life after being with a disabled person who can't even see and is dependent on others? God, I hate it so much! Why did my parents think it was a good idea to send me off with someone like you? Ugh, this is so bad. It would be so shameful to be out with you! My friends have so much better, no, an abled person with them. It would be such a shame to be with a blind rag. And then deal with all the pity. Fuck. This is so fucking bad! Who would even want to be with you?" She exaggerated a sigh. "You are not enough, Hongjoong. You are, in the end, blind and no one wants to be with someone like that. God, even deaf people are better. At least, they can see and go their way properly without that annoying stick and just bumping into people. So fucking embarrassing… I am gonna say it again, You. Are. Not. Enough!" With that, she slammed the door shut and went out and acted as if nothing happened, and confessed about her long-term hidden boyfriend.

Grace was biting her lip so hard to keep the ugly sobs in. This Ara girl was mean. "You don't have to listen to her," she said after swallowing the lump in her throat. "She had no right to be disgusted by you. You are perfect! Fuck, I can't imagine how wrong she is. Joongie, you are enough, perfect. Please, don't listen to her," you wiped his silent tears.

"She didn't fight for nothing," he sadly smiled. This was it. The truth, the sour truth was coming out.

"What do you mean?" Grace asked.

"I wasn't blind before," her heartbeat stopped, her mouth opened and her eyes widened.

"Huh?" She let out.

"I had a perfectly fine vision. No eye disease or anything. I was perfect."

"Th-then what happened?" She stuttered.

"My father works in a chemistry lab. He often took us there and showed us harmless tricks. He was always careful with us and the chemicals. But one day, one of his coworkers brought his son. He was restless and sort of mannerless. His father kept my father occupied and wasn't paying attention to us. The boy was touching different chemicals and stuff so I stayed away from him because my father always warned me about these chemicals… He came back, the boy, and stood next to me, acting that nothing was fishy. He smiled creepily at me and called my name," he took a deep breath," he threw some chemicals on my face," Grace gasped shakily, tears streaming down. "My eyes burned so much. Everything was blurry. I could hear my father screaming and the chaos happening… it was all a blur, scary. I fainted," his voice shook.

Hongjoong felt like reliving what happened back then. He never talked about this before. But he kept continuing, "when I was coming into consciousness, I could hear the beeps of the machine and faint sounds of people. I remember opening my eyes but it was all dark. I started crying, screaming I can't open my eyes, mama. I can't see. Turn on the lights! They came rushing in. I could hear my mother telling me it was okay."

"Hongjoong, love. Please calm down. Don't cry, mommy is here," Hongjoong's mother hugged her.

"Mommy it's dark!" He cried.

"I know," her voice broke.

"I was scared of darkness…" Grace finally let out a sob. He kept on going, "I was so scared that time. I wanted to look at someone. I wanted to look at my mother and father. I wanted to see where I was. Something but not black. I was a mess."

"Mommy please, please turn on the lights. I can't, I'm scared," his tiny hands fisted his mother's shirt.

"Baby, the lights are on…" she whispered in his ears.

"I still can't see," he trembled.

"Baby, do you remember what happened? Before fainting?"

He took his time to remember and nodded, "yes, papa's friend's son threw something in my eyes and they burned."

"Yes, baby. They burned. You– you can't see anymore," she cried.

Hongjoong froze. His cries stopped. But his body trembled even more. His hold tightened even more. He pressed his cheek even more into his mother. "Mommy?"

"Yes, honey?"

"Don't leave me. I'm scared."

It was silent. Only Hongjoong's and Grace's sobs could be heard. It was painful to tell and hear. She could tell from his voice the pain he was hiding.

"That was when she fought. When she came to know about this, she fought. I don't know how her tiny brain thought of harsh things but it did. At that time, it was all fresh. I was hurt and broken but she broke the last part left. I hated her but blamed myself… I still do," he wiped his tears and reached for Grace's face to wipe hers. "I don't care about her… I just want to– want to see how my parents look. How does Seonghwa look, you know? Their image in my head is not clear anymore. It was the only thing that kept me going. But as I grew up, it started to fade away. They all were so young. Seonghwa was little and innocent. I wonder how they look now. My parents must have wrinkles by now, I think, well, at least my father. I remember he had some near his eyes back then. Mom, I don't know about her. She has been a skincare enthusiast forever… Grace," he violently sobbed, "I wanna see my parents. It has been my wish since the day I woke up," he cried. "I wanna see Seonghwa, fuck, that man stayed with me since then. He had done so much for me. I wanna see you too. Seonghwa tells me about you and I would be lying if I say that it doesn't hurt. I fucking wanna see you! Why did this happen to me? Why am I the one being punished? I hate it, Grace. My heart, Grace, hurts. Fuck!" She hugged him tightly against her. They cried together in each other's arms.

She pulled away and held his hands again and brought them close to her chest, "it is her loss. Joongie, you are perfect. So perfect that I can't stop thinking about you. Baby, you are the best, blind or not. I can't imagine the pain you went through but I do know that you're stronger than you show. I love that. I adore that. You are much more than that," her forehead rested against his. "Your parents are so great. I love that you love them so much. I can't imagine how it feels," her throat squeezed.

"I'm fine now. It's alright. And I know you do. Trust me I appreciate it so, so fucking much," he kissed your forehead. "You make my life so better, do you know that? I always think that you are an angel in disguise. You make me feel many colors. You are my novel, make me feel things that I have never felt before," Grace chuckled at his novel metaphor, knowing how they spent the very first day together and talked about books. She was so in love with this man.

"You are my novel too, Hongjoong. You are better than any novel I have ever read. And I wanna read you more and more…"

"Can I ask something?" He asked.

"Mhm."

"That night, when you called me and cried… What happened that night? Don't lie. If you don't wanna talk about it, then just say it but please, no lies," he requested.

As much as Grace hated to talk about it, she felt like she needed to share. He opened himself in front of her and it was only good if she opened up too.

"The thing is, that the environment back at my parents is not good. It's mostly because of my choices. They haven't been too good," she began. "I have always chosen the wrong things unintentionally. And I always thought a bit differently when it came to a career. My father had different plans than mine. I have always been into fashion. I loved putting together clothes. I loved designing them. Hell, I would make clothes for my dolls on my mother's sewing machine. They thought that it was just a craze but I adored it. And when I went into the line of fashion designing, my father kinda always had a bone to pick. He would tell me that I couldn't go far in this line and that I would be lost and come back crying for their help. I was bothered and did what I wanted. But that was the beginning of all the hate. Other than that one of my poor choices was boys that I dated. It was bad. Really, really bad. Every single time, they would leave me feeling insecure about myself. But once, it went too far. There was this guy I loved dearly. We were happy together. So many would be jealous of how we used to be. You know, it was a picture-perfect relationship. We were together for two years and I trusted him with my whole heart. Whatever he said was right for me… When there is a relationship, there most probably will be a physical relationship too. There was for us," she curtly said the last word. "I felt safe with him. He praised me and told me how beautiful I was. There were these dreams he made me see about the future. But it all came down crashing one day," she took a deep breath. "It was the last week of university. I got ready to go and when I reached, everyone was looking at me. They were whispering to themselves. Some were passing comments and called me names. I didn't know what was going on until someone shoved their phone in my face," her voice broke. "There was me. In the bed. Naked. With him on top of me, fucking me. I don't remember that specific night. We always had sex while we were drunk. The sex was consensual but the recording was't. It was so disgusting. I saw my world falling apart in front of my eyes. I was humiliated. They picked on my insecurities. Some weren't even there but they made me feel insecure. This traveled to my parents... And my father was angry. He wouldn't even spare me a glance. But one day he busted out, screamed at me, yelled at me. He broke me. I needed support but he declared me as if I was nothing to him. Then I stopped going back. I worked my ass off day and night to earn a living and build up a business. Yunho was there for me. He bought me food most of the time. He took care of me… Even after years, he still hates me. He doesn't celebrate my achievements. And that night, we were at dinner. He didn't talk to me at all. But then he started passing on indirect comments about me. And somehow they started talking about me and my relationship… I told them about us. That I find my future with you," she sniffed.

"What did he say?" He asked in his choked voice.

"He never approves of me," Grace sadly said. "But don't worry. I'm so proud to have you with me. It's his problem, I can't change his mind… You know, I stopped being in a relationship after that. I was afraid of being with anyone and getting wrongly judged. You make me comfortable in my own skin. Fuck, you make me feel important," the last line is what made hongjoong know that they both are on the same page.

"Grace, whoever did that to you, he did something so terrible. I won't ever do that to you. None of this was your fault. You didn't make a bad choice you are so fucking talented and now you have such a big business. Your father is at a loss. He did unjustly to you. And the people who made you feel bad about yourself, are fucking jealous of what you have. Look at you, so gorgeous and perfect. I bet you are so, so beautiful. Grace, please, please don't hang onto them…" he sobbed.

"Joongie, you are the best."

"So are you," he held her head in his hands and joined their lips together. He tasted like the chocolate dessert they had before leaving the restaurant. His pillowy lips swallowed her glossy ones. They fit perfectly.

Hongjoong pulled away, "Grace, I wanna feel you. I wanna feel the beauty I have, please," his voice came out as a whisper.

"Feel me up, Joongie. I'm all yours," she caught his lips in the kiss again. It was sensual, slow, and filled with unspoken meanings.

"Let's go to my room, okay?"

"Yes, please."

Hongjoong guided her to his room, he opened the door and switched on the lights, even though he was blind and necessarily didn't need lights, he still turned them on just so that the house was nice and bright, unlike his old life.

They sat on the bed but before they could move any further, Grace stopped them. "I wanna feel you like you will feel me," she said.

"What do you mean?" He asked.

"Blindfold. I wanna put on a blindfold and feel you and look at you through my mind. Can I do that?"

"You can do whatever you want. Let me just feel your face first," his hands flew to her face. He traced her forehead and moved to the bridge of her nose. His other hands explored her jaw and cheek. The feather-light touches sent shivers down Grace's spine. Her lips felt wet and swollen against his touch. "You can put it on now."

She held the tie that was around his neck and untied it to wrap it around her eyes. All she saw was black. The realization was hitting her hard now that she knows that he wasn't blind before. You can't live with this darkness without freaking out and he was still a child who was innocent and too oblivious to what was happening.

"I'm ready," she whispered.

"You sure?" He hesitantly asked.

"Yes, please."

His hands traveled up her arms, leaving goosebumps on her skin. She felt so soft and warm. He felt her skin getting goosebumps which made him giggle in adoration. His hands reached to the shoulders where the bow knots were, and he gently pulled them to untie them. He let them fall off of her shoulders, and moving towards the back, he undid the zipper that he found when he hugged her.

The dress bunched up around her waist and she got up, throwing it somewhere in the room, and sat up properly. Her fingers found his shirt's buttons and opened them and shrugged his shirt out. Her hands didn't go for the chest but the face first.

His features felt so sharp and symmetrical. Coming down toward the long neck and sharp collar bones, her warm hands wandered over his chest. His pebble nipples poked her palms and she teasingly pinched him.

"Hmm, stop teasing me," he rasped. His hands moved down to her breasts. They were so soft and plushy, he cupped her and squeezed them. He was trying hard to picture her in his mind. She was beautiful.

"Fuck," she silently moaned. "More, Joongie," she pushed her chest against his hands. He pinched her erect nipples and took the right one in his mouth, "oh!"

Hongjoong explored her while mouthing her nipple. His fingers hooked around the elastic of her lacy panties and swiftly removed them. "Lay down for me," he guided.

He carefully got on top of her and caressed her side. His hands moved to her thighs as he spread them open. He explored her legs, going through each and every curve and her feet were soft.

Hongjoong felt some stretch marks around her waist and butt when he caressed them. He traced each of them with care, trying to copy the image in his blurred mind.

"Hongjoong… please, don't," Grace felt insecure when she figured out what he was doing.

"Sh, babe. This is so perfect. So beautiful," he kissed her lips with love. "Prettiest person I have ever felt. So gorgeous for me."

Finally moving ahead, his hands gently hovered over her inner thighs and her pussy. "Please," listening to her pleas, he finally allowed himself to feel her most intimate parts. She was hot and wet. Dripping wet. He spread her labia with his middle fingers and tapped around with his index. When he poked a bumpy thing, she flinched and tried to close her thighs.

"Is this your clit?" He tapped it a few times, finding it interesting.

She dumbly giggled, "yeah… ohh," she moaned when he rubbed it with some pressure.

His one finger kept on rubbing tight circles on her clit while the other found her dripping cunt. He slipped his finger and her pussy made a squelching noise. He dipped his head until his nose touched her pussy. He took a deep sniff of her musky scent. It made him harder than he was. He kissed her clit and swirled his tongue around it and gave it a nice suck, it made Grace arch her back with pleasure. It had been a while for her.

"I wanna feel you too, Joongie," she sat up.

"As you wish," he whispered and waited for her to do something.

Grace was nervous. He didn't want to hurt him so she placed her hands on the bed and followed where the dip on the bed was getting intense. Her tips brushed against his legs and she moved up his legs towards his thighs. She went even above his pants and roamed her hands on his soft yet firm tummy.

She unbuttoned his pants and helped him get out of them. Her fingers lingered around the waistband and finally cupped his length through his underwear. Her hand moved up and down, and so did his chest. Nobody has ever touched his dick. I wanted more. He wanted to feel her hands on him without any barriers.

He recklessly discarded his underwear somewhere in the room. Bringing her hands to him, he let them explore him. He leaned back on his hands, head falling back when her tiny warm hand held his big leaking cock. She felt his hard cock. Her finger touched his cock head and swirled It around. Taking the beaded pre-cum on her fingers, she caressed the slit, making him moan louder.

"So big," she excitedly whined. Her free hand cupped his heavy and tight balls and massaged him making him moan her name. Lowering herself, she sniffed up and down his length, taking in his essence, and then took him in her mouth.

"Fuck Grace," he moaned, thighs tightening.

This was overwhelming for him. Oh, he wanted to see how she looked with her lips wrapped around him, how her pussy looked around him. He needed to be inside her.

Flipping her on the back, he pushed her legs until they touched her chest and slipped inside her slowly, trying not to hurt her. They moaned in unison.

It was good. They felt safe. They felt alive again. They felt the spark in them increasing. They were addicted. They loved each other.

"Grace, I love you," he confessed when he reached his high.

"I love you too, Joongie!"

Hongjoong fell on top of her. Catching their breath. Then he moved to the side. He pulled the drawer open and brought tissues out. And tried his best to clean her up and himself.

"Thank you, Joongie," Grace whispered when he cuddled her.

"You are so gorgeous, I have no words for you," he kissed her head.

She cuddled him tighter, "you are the most handsome man ever… are you tired?"

"Kind of but still not," he hummed.

"Can you sing for me?" She asked.

He chuckled, "of course, my love." He started the song while humming the beats.

Honestly

It's kinda been a couple crazy years for me

Letting go of things that were a part of me

It just didn't seem fair, wasn't going anywhere so

I did all the things, I couldn't get away

But thinking of love, it had me so afraid

I needed time alone, I needed time to crawl

I needed time to find my way, so

This time I'm gon' give it everything

And this time I know I'm gon' do it so damn better

This time I promise that I'm gon' give her

All that I can

'Cause I know she'll be worth a diamond ring

And I'll do what it takes to keep this thing together

After all this time you turned me into

A better man

I'm doing better now

All for my emotions to come back around

I feel like I can finally let my guard down

I'm finally going somewhere

Learning how to take things slow

I did all the things, I couldn't get away

And I'm thinking of love, but girl I ain't afraid

I had my time alone, I had my time to crawl

I had my time to find my way, so

This time I'm gon' give it everything

(This time I'm gon' give her everything)

And this time I know I'm gon' do it so damn better

This time I promise that I'm gon' give her

(Whatever it is, I know I'm gon' give her)

All that I can

'Cause I know she'll be worth a diamond ring

(And I know she'll be worth a diamond ring)

And I'll do what it takes to keep

This thing together (keep it together)

After all this time you turned me into

A better man

I don't know who she gon' be

But all I know is she gon' get the best of me

It was Grace's favorite song of all time. Her smile widened from ear to ear. She could feel that he didn't just sing her a song that someone sang, but he meant the words. He chose it, to tell her that he would cross through his insecurities to be the best for her.

She understood him. She understood where he was coming from. And he understood where she was coming from. They were well aware of the fact that this was going to be a journey of healing, a journey of facing the world, a journey of being together through the hardest.

"And you will get the best of me."

~~~

It had been almost a year after the night when they opened their wounds and felt them together. The bond between the two only increased. They were annoyingly cute and adorable. Their friends would fake gag and tease them all the time.

Seonghwa and Hongjoong became part of Grace's friend's group. It was a good feeling to be hanging around everyone without feeling shy or awkward.

Mingi and Yunho moved together a month later. So with that, she moved in with Hongjoong not so long after.

Just as Grace thought, it was amazing living with him. She had someone to look forward to when she went back home. There was someone who tried to make her evenings better after bad days. There was Hongjoong who always made sure that she was taken care of at the end of the day. He appreciated her. He loved her and she loved him more than anything. They cuddled during the night and got through the scary storms at night.

Where once Hongjoong was scared, he felt safe. And where once Grace felt insecure, she felt beautiful.

"Joongie?" Grace returned a little later today.

"Hey, welcome back," he found a hold of her waist and swayed her left and right. He was always excited to feel her and sniff her scent.

"Hi," she wrapped her arms around him. "How are you?"

"I'm fine. What about you?" He pecked her lips.

"Hm, great," she smiled.

"Yeah?" He chuckled.

"Yes. By the way, we have to be somewhere tomorrow," she kissed his cheek.

"Where?" He buried his head in the crook of her neck.

"That's a secret… I hope you will like it," her hands played with his hair. "Cuddle me in the bed?"

"Sure, love," they went into the room and stripped to their undergarments. Getting under the sheets they cuddled up into each other. This was their favorite time to spend together. Just melting in the heat of their love.

"I love you, Joongie," she whispered.

"I love you more," he kissed her hair.

~~~

The next day, Grace came back home around lunchtime. She picked him up and took them to a junk food place for a quick meal so that they wouldn't get late to where Grace was taking them.

After the meal, they drove somewhere, it was sort of far from what Hongjoong felt. He didn't ask questions, he trusted her.

"We are here," Grace informed as they came to a halt after a turn.

She helped him out of the car and up the stairs at the entrance of someplace. The warmth of the place hugged him. It smelled like a new place.

"Oh, Good afternoon!" He heard a man speaking. "I was waiting for you."

"Hi, Mr. Cha. Hope we didn't make you wait for long," she greeted.

"Not at all!"

"If you don't mind, can we look around ourselves a bit?" Hongjoong was confused.

"Sure! Take your time. I'll be outside," Hongjoong heard footsteps fading.

"Where are we, Grace?" He asked.

"We are at a house that I wanted to come to with you," she said.

"Why?" He was still confused, "whose house is this?"

"No ones," she replied. "Do you remember when we were talking about houses?"

He thought about it, "yeah."

"Remember, you said that when you were a kid, you always wanted a house that overlooked the city?"

"Ah, when I was a child, I wanted to live in a place from where I could see the whole city. We went to a party once and their house was like that. I loved it there," Hongjoong said when they were cuddling.

"Yeah? How was it?" She asked.

"It was breathtaking, as far as I remember," he smiled.

"I bet."

"Yeah."

"And when we talked about moving to another house and you said that I should look out for one… I found this one, it looks over the city…" Grace held his hand.

"Grace you did not," Hongjoong gasped.

"Nope, I did not... Just yet," she said. "Here feel the house. They have the furniture but we can remove it from the deal."

His hands moved along the walls and the windows. It felt like a gigantic house. She guided him to the balcony where the cold wind hit his face and made them giggle. The railing was cold under his touch.

"Grace, did you buy it?" His voice was heavy with emotions.

Grace guided them back into the house to keep him warm. "Nope. Not yet."

"Oh," he let out.

"I can't buy this without your approval. I want this to be ours. I want to live where you feel good. And it won't be a great thing if you don't have a choice," she caressed his cheek.

"I can only trust you with this. Your choice is my choice," he said. "I can't even see. And I know, you found the best."

"Yeah, that," Grace took a deep breath.

"What is it?" He asked.

"Your vision. I- I talked to a doctor about this, your condition I mean. He said that we can get your vision back. I looked up to eye donations," it was silent.

Hongjoong's face was unreadable. "What do you mean that you talked to a doctor?"

"I–"

"And what do you know about my condition!?" He harshly said. "You are one of those, right?" Tears brimmed his lids.

"No, It's not like that!" She tried to talk.

"No, it is like that. You can't be with a blind man, right!? You must be so ashamed, right? Fuck, is it because your parents don't approve of a blind!?" He raised his voice.

"No, Joongie! I took your files from your parents, I wanted to do this for you."

"Shut up! You all are fucking mean! Why didn't you ask me, huh? It's my decision to make. I knew the ways too but have I ever talked about them? No, I understand, I'm blind, and no one wants to be with a disabled man! Everyone is fucking right, I am not enough!"

"But—"

"Please, please no," his knees felt weak so he kneeled on the floor, tears streaming down his red cheeks.

Later on, Seonghwa came to pick Hongjoong up. He was confused after seeing Grace and Hongjoong crying on the floor. None of them said a thing so he just took him with him.

His insecurity failed him.

~~~

"What the fuck, Hongjoong!?" Seonghwa raised his voice.

It had been two days since he picked him up. Seonghwa was so confused and frustrated. Finally, Hongjoong got ready to tell him what happened there.

"What? I'm sorry that I don't want to be with someone who can't accept me for me," Hongjoong huffed.

"You are such a fool!" The older one said. "She wanted to do this for you!"

"What do you know about it?"

"Because she talked to me about this! That's how I know," he barked.

"You knew that too!" Hongjoong was shocked that everyone knew this.

"Yes, she wanted to fulfill your god knows which wish," he sighed and sat on the couch and held the bridge of his nose.

"What wish?"

"I don't know… she said that she only wants to see you happy. And you, you let your insecurity win all over again."

~~~

"He is gonna come around," Yunho wiped Grace's tears. She went to their place and stayed there. She just could go back to their place.

"I don't know. He was angry. I hurt him," she cried. "I should have talked to him before. It's my fault."

"It is not. He didn't listen to you. He let his anger rule over him," he tried to calm her down.

"But now he hates me," she sniffed. Mingi brought more tissues and ice cream.

"Princess, it's alright. We will get you two to talk, oky? Then talk it out," Mingi rubbed her back.

"I hope so. If he doesn't want to be with me anymore, it's okay but at least he should know my intentions."

~~~

A week later, Yunho and Seonghwa decided to put them in the same room and leave them there until they sorted their things out.

Both were getting eaten by guilt. Hongjoong, because he didn't listen, and Grace, because she didn't talk to him before talking to the doctor.

Hongjoong could smell her comforting scent. His head lowered in shame. He realized how his insecurity can destroy his whole life. Just when he thought he was better.

"J-Joongie?" Grace carefully broke the silence.

"I'm sorry, Grace. I-I was influenced by my insecurity. I didn't mean to yell at you," he apologized hastily. He was afraid of losing her.

"No, please. It's my fault. I should have talked to you first and should have thought of a better way to approach you," his heart broke at this.

"Grace, you don't need to think twice when you talk to me. I'm sorry I made you think like that. I promise I won't do this ever again. Please, forgive me," he sobbed.

"Joongie," she got up and sat next to him and took him in her arms. "Let's talk it out, oky?" He nodded. "Remember, when you talked about your past and how you wanted to see your parents and Seonghwa?" He nodded again. He could never forget that night. "I wanted to fulfill your wish. I can't see you like this, wanting to see your parents but can't. You deserve whatever you wish for. I wanted to give you that. I didn't do this to offend you or because I was ashamed of you. I'm not. I love you too much and there is nothing for me to be ashamed of. And I approached your parents after we met them. They were happy about it. So I planned everything out. And then found a great doctor with whom we talked. And finally, we are getting somewhere. But if you want to, I understand that. I will cancel—"

"I'll do it," he interrupted. "I'll get the operation done."

Grace's heartbeat increased. "Are you sure? You don't have to do that."

"I want to. I thought about it. There is nothing I can lose from this operation, so why not?" He smiled and held her face in his hands and caressed her cheeks. "If I get the chance to see my parents, Seonghwa… And you, I won't let it go…"

Her own tears dripped down her cheeks. She joined their lips in a feverish kiss. It was mixed with their salty tears.

"I love you."

"I love you too."

~~~

A month passed by waiting for a call for the operation. And it finally happened when the doctor informed Grace that they had eye donations in and that they should get it done within twenty-four hours.

They drove to the hospital, where Hongjoong's parents and Seonghwa were waiting. He was silent, worried about the whole procedure. He would be lying if he said that he didn't dream about seeing the people he loves. He held Grace's hand tightly when he walked into the hospital. He had to leave her hand when they asked him to go into the surgical room.

They all wished him luck and then the door closed. The worries fell on all of them. They wanted everything to go fine. Grace was wishing hard for this to go how she was expecting.

The operation took a few hours. Finally, the main doctor walked out with a wide smile. "Hongjoong's operation went well, without any problems. But his bandages won't come off until two weeks from today. We will keep him in the observation room for today. But you can't meet him right now. He is resting and it would be better to not give him much stress. Only one attendant should stop back."

"Thank you so much, doctor. Thank you for giving us good news!" Mrs. Kim said with tears in her eyes.

"Well, let's hope when he opens his eyes, he doesn't face any difficulties," with that he left.

Mrs. Kim turned toward Grace, "Thank you for doing this, Grace. You are just like your name!" Mrs. Kim hugged her.

Grace wanted to cry. Her words were in contrast to what her father thought. "No, you helped so much. Thank you."

"Grace, no one does this for anyone these days. We owe you a big one," Mr. Kim said.

"No, Sir. As long as he is happy and fine, it's all fine," she said.

"Dad, call me dad."

~~~

As much as these two weeks were filled with excitement for Hongjoong, it was stressful for Grace.

The day wasn't far when Hongjoong could finally see her. Her insecurities came running back. Haunting her.

Currently, Hongjoong was taking his afternoon nap and Grace was standing in front of the full-length mirror only in her undergarments. She looked at every inch of her body and hated it. She hated how she looked. She hated how her stretch marks were so visible. She hated how her stomach looked. She hated how her face looked. She hated it all.

Her tears were rolling down silently. Fear was rising in her guts. He was gonna leave her after he came to know how ugly she was. She was sure that he would be devastated. He deserved the doll-type girls. Someone like a kpop idol. Someone perfect. Someone who wasn't her.

She bit her lip until she could taste the metallic of her blood.

This was going to end soon. The Hongjoong and Grace chapter was coming to an end sooner.

~~~

It was the day when Hongjoong's bandages were coming off. He was nervous but excited. He couldn't wait to see everyone. He was bubbling with happiness.

"Ah, I can't wait to see you, Grace," he said while they were driving to the hospital.

"Me too," she said.

Grace looked horrible. She was feeling insecure. The sleepless nights gave her dark circles under her swollen eyes. She covered it up with makeup. She didn't want to show him that when he will look at her for the first time.

When they reached, the nurse guided them to the private room where the doctor was gonna treat him. His parents and Seonghwa were there, all dressed up nicely. They had brought fresh flower bouquets for him. Some gifts as well. The room was decorated with minimalist decorations.

"Best of luck, Joong," Seonghwa said.

"Yup, my boy, I can't express how happy I am," Mr. Kim said.

Hongjoong giggled, "thank you."

The doctor knocked on the door. He came in with a wide smile, followed by a nurse. "Hey, Hongjoong, ready?"

He nervously chuckled, "yes."

"Alright then, let's get over this, shall we," Hongjoong sat on the chair and nodded.

Grace felt her anxiety building up. She quietly walked out of the room and looked inside through the slight gap.

The doctor started unwrapping his bandage. Each role made their heartbeat faster. It reached the end. The doctor removed the cotton pad from his eyes.

"Now, slowly open them. It will take time to focus so don't freak out," he said and waited for Hongjoong to open his eyes.

Hongjoong slowly opened his eyes. When the first ray of light fell in his vision, he gasped. His chin wobbled and his eyes felt like tearing up. Everything was blurry but he could see the colors. He let out a choked noise.

His eyes blinked for a couple of minutes and finally, he could see. It was his mother. His sweet sweet mother. Her tears were streaming down her cheeks, and so were his.

"M-mama?" He violently cried with his mouth wide open. "Mama!"

She came forward and hugged him tightly, "yes, it's me," he held her face and looked all over her features. She was so beautiful. He couldn't believe that he was seeing her again.

He cried loudly, he saw his father crying. He opened his arms for him who immediately took him in a crushing hug. "Dad!"

"Yes, Joong. Yes," he cried.

Grace was looking at the scene unfolding. It was the first time she saw his eyes focusing on someone or anything. She cried too. She was so happy at the same time her insecurities made her afraid to go back in.

Hongjoong looked at the other presence in the room. A tall handsome man was standing. Just like everybody he was crying too.

"Seonghwa?" The older one nodded and let out a choked sob. He too took Hongjoong in a hug.

Hongjoong looked at them. He couldn't stop crying. It was the first time in years that he got to see them. He had lost hope. But here he was today, looking at the people he loved dearly. It was only possible because of Grace. Grace?

"Where is Grace?" He asked through his cries.

"She was here just now," Mrs. Kim said.

Grace hid away when she heard them talking about her.

"I'll go see where she is," Seonghwa patted Hongjoong's back and walked out.

When he walked out, he couldn't see her. He walked around a bit and found her in the cafeteria. "Grace?"

She flinched and looked at him. "Y-yea?"

"What are you doing here? He is looking for you."

Grace hesitated and lowered her head. Seonghwa could see through her. "Hey, don't worry. He is gonna love you. You are so gorgeous, come on. Let's show him what he got to show off," he held her by the shoulders and pushed her toward the room.

Hongjoong was talking to his parents when the door opened and showed Seonghwa. The older man smiled and moved aside to show a girl who was standing there with her head hung low. Hongjoong's heart ran faster than ever. His parents said something about privacy and walked out, closing the door behind them.

Grace took a deep breath and looked up at Hongjoong who stood up, mouth falling open. Tears rolled down again. They both sobbed and he came toward her. His hands found their way to her jaw as he tilted her face up. He cried again and looked deep into her crying eyes.

"Gorgeous. Just gorgeous," he looked at her forehead, her pretty eyes, her nose, her bitten lips. He chuckled and pulled her in a kiss. Grace let her loose and hugged his waist. "What did I do to have such an angel for myself? Fuck, I'm so lucky."

"I'm the lucky one, Joongie," buried her head in his chest. He hugged her close.

"Show me your face please?" She looked up. "So beautiful. I can't believe my eyes that I'm seeing you. My mind's image can never justice you."

Grace found herself crying even more. She was so lucky to have him in her life. He made every second better. He was her only ray of light. And she was the only one who brought the rays back into his life.

He kissed her inviting lips again, "I am so in love with you, Grace."

~~~

Hongjoong went around to meet all of his friends. They were shocked as most of them didn't know about this. Yunho and Mingi were the only ones who knew this.

He felt so good to see everything. He loved looking at Grace the most. He swore that she was an angel. He felt like crying every time he looked at her. Her beauty was blinding.

Later on, they went back to the house Grace had brought him to. He had to pinch his skin to know that he wasn't dreaming. It was a modern house. Everything looked so expensive and beautiful. His eyes couldn't get away from the scene on the balcony. The whole city looked so beautiful.

Hongjoong was happy. He got more than what he ever asked for.

Seonghwa gave him a gift that contained many pictures of him and everyone. They all were so memorable. He loved the fact that they all looked at him with love. There was a separate section in that album in which there were pictures that Seonghwa took sneakily. There were pictures from the Yungi engagement party. From their first date. And even the one from the date when they told each other about their past.

That one was his favorite. They were standing with Grace's arms around his neck. His hands were on her waist and their foreheads were touching. The picture was taken from a low angle. The yellow street lights were reflecting on the wet footpath. It was a perfect picture. Her dress looked so pretty and fluffy. Their skin was reflecting the yellow of the light. Hongjoong got it framed in a bigger size and hung it up in his– their room.

His thoughts were interrupted by the arms that were wrapping around him from the back.

"Hey," Grace said.

He turned around and found her naked. "Fuck, you gonna kill me someday." He pulled her in a hug and cupped her ass.

"You look handsome," she whispered, lips brushing his lips.

He smirked and wrapped his hands around her thighs and picked her up, bringing her to the bed, he threw her on it and got on top of her. "You are so sexy."

Hongjoong kissed her bare chest and took her nipple in his mouth. It was so hot to see her naked. He loved her like this, wiggling and moaning under him. He loved missionary but with her knees touching her ears. This way he could see the whole of her.

Her swollen pussy, her puckered hole, her tits, her pretty and fucked up face with tears running down her cheeks and mascara staining her skin. The best was when she had his cum all over her.

He removed his boxers and took a hold of his hard cock. He pumped him and brought his cock to her entrance. "I just fingered and ate you. Still hungry for me?"

Grace whined, "please."

"Whatever my sexy lady wants," he entered her.

He felt lucky. He fell in love with everything. Even darkness didn't scare him anymore. As long as he had Grace by his side, everything was better and more beautiful.

Grace felt like the most beautiful girl ever. Hongjoong never forgot to show her off to his new friends and to the people he worked with. He started his career as a musician. His fan following blew up the moment he released his first song. Bigger companies wanted him to work with him. It didn't take time for him to get a big spotlight. He still gave motivational speeches. He helped many people and invested in charities.

He had indeed given her the best of him.

They came down from their high and were cuddling. Grace's head was on Hongjoong's chest. He relaxed her the best. He was her safe place.

"Joongie?" She called.

"Yeah?"

"Sing for me," he smiled and picked his guitar up off the floor.

He started playing a beat.

~Mm-hmm

Mm, mm-hmm, mm-hmm

Mm, hmm-hmm

Mm-hmm

Mm, mm-hmm, mm-hmm

We finally found our home

A place where we both belong

Somewhere we can be alone

And dive into each other's worlds

We'll fade away

Out of the blue

We can stay

It's up to you

Watching the stars, they shine

I think I might stay for a while

Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh

I think I might stay for a while

Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh

I think I might stay for a while

Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh

I think I might stay for a while

Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh

I think I might stay for a while~

Grace looked up at him with teary eyes. He looked down and cupped her cheeks and pulled her in an innocent kiss. There was nothing better than being in each other's arms. They found a home in each other's eyes. A world too. Their whole entire world.

"You are so gorgeous," Hongjoong said the millionth time.

"Joongie, I can never be thankful enough. Thank you for feeling the real me and looking at the true me," he smiled and wiped her tears.

"Thank you for looking at me through your mind. Thank you for accepting my…

Blind Beauty…"

Fin...

.....

Sanaa's note:

It's done. I hope you liked it. I have never written this much in two days, tbh. But it was worth it, I guess.

I really appreciate your feedback💓

The behavior of all the characters is visualized.

Taglist:

@veneziamadness @cheline @jhmylove @sansmilkbread @jayb17

@glitterhongjoong @wtfjongseong @flowerxsin

*lemme know if you wanna be tagged to the permanent or specific taglist*

*original pictures are not mine, I just edited them*

Have a nice day/night💓

112 notes · View notes

hanatiny · 2 years

Text

Bird in a Cage

a/n: yes I know I’m a continuous liar about which fics I post first but,,, writer’s brain do be like that

pairing: prince!Hongjoong x gn!reader

genre: fluff

word count: 4653

warnings: royal AU, strangers to lovers, brief mentions of alcohol, reader is mentioned to be wearing a dress but referred to as they/them, one suggestive comment/joke, mentions of feeling trapped (but only metaphorically)

-----

Hongjoong sighed for the umpteenth time that day; as much as he was grateful to be able to change his hair however he wanted to, he regretted the compromise of letting his family’s servants dress him - he didn’t mind what they picked for him in the slightest, but he absolutely hated having people fussing over him and adjusting things for him when he was perfectly capable of doing so.

He wasn’t a goddamn child anymore.

Which was also why he wasn’t particularly excited when his parents announced a masquerade ball for his birthday celebration without consulting him about his own wishes beforehand, even if they were considerate enough to choose the event he enjoyed the most.

Hongjoong had always liked seeing people’s fancy outfits and the masks they’d pair with them, even if he seldomly got to join the dancing crowd himself, out of a concern for safety - despite disguised guards roaming the ballroom at all times.

“Something on your mind, Your Highness?” His train of thought was promptly halted by the voice of his most trusted butler-turned-advisor, Seonghwa.

“Please, I cannot even recall how many times I’ve told you to simply call me by my name when we’re alone...” The slightly older man hummed amusedly in response, but obliged the request nonetheless, “Fine then, Hongjoong. What is it that has you so occupied?”

“I suppose it’s just...” Hongjoong trailed off momentarily as he thought how to best phrase his words while Seonghwa watched the prince move to gaze longingly out the window, “I do not mean to sound ungrateful by any means, especially since my lessons are now much fewer and farther between than they used to be when I was younger, even if they’ve just been replaced by meetings, but... I would love to have a little more freedom still.”

An affirmative sound vibrated low in Seonghwa’s throat, indicating how attentively he was listening to his liege.

“You remember how we used to sometimes try to sneak out, hm? To play with the children in the village, yet we’d somehow always get caught even before reaching the main gate? Those children... They have families now, children of their own.”

Seonghwa tilted his head in confusion, moving to stand next to Hongjoong with his arms crossed. “I can see that, Hongjoong... But I fail to understand what your conclusion here is meant to be.”

Hongjoong suddenly turned to the older, a determined look in his eyes beneath his two-toned and slightly too long, soft bangs. “I won’t ever be like them, I know this, and I also know you willingly gave up such a life to work in the palace. If we can’t be them... we’ll just have to help them instead.”

“Meaning...?” Seonghwa coaxed, clearly intrigued by the younger’s idea.

“We have more than enough resources to care for everyone in the palace for years to come, if not more, do we not? And instead of collecting taxes as dilligently as we do, we should give back to the people for once!”

Hongjoong’s expression had changed into a proud smile over the course of his rambling, and Seonghwa found it hard to bite back a fond chuckle - the young prince always had a tendency to dream big. “I say that sounds wonderful, though when are you planning to put that into motion?”

“Once I ascend the throne,” came Hongjoong’s reply, a commendable lack of hesitation in his tone, “so I’ll humor my parents tonight. I’ll show them how capable I am, and prove that I’ll be a ruler they could be proud of.”

“You have high ambitions, I see.” Seonghwa spoke up again, a hint of mirth noticeable in his voice, “But I do not mean to discourage you. No matter what you do, I’ll be loyal to you until the very end.”

Hongjoong’s eyes lit up when his friend encouragingly placed his hand on his shoulder and squeezed.

“Thank you, Seonghwa. I suddenly feel way more excitement for the ball now...~”

A smile was the only answer he received as the man in question turned to leave Hongjoong’s chambers, the prince straightening out his vest before heading out as well.

Now freshly invigorated from his exchange with Seonghwa, he sat on his throne next to his parents in a much more regal and elegant position than the one he usually took to at such events.

When questioned, he simpled adjusted his white mask - the color of innocence, he mused, how fitting - to hide his grin as he reasoned it was the very least he could do on his birthday. His parents left it at that.

Hongjoong was perfectly content with watching the crowd of royals mingle and talk amongst each other with drinks and dance like they weren’t here to celebrate him specifically. This was how it always went, Hongjoong knew that even if he hardly knew many of the guests by name, and it was exactly what allowed him to enjoy himself as much as he did in his observant spot.

Over the course of the evening, he had rid himself of his beige vest and folded it neatly over the armrest of his throne. His father, the more laid-back of his parents, shook his head lightly in amusement, while his mother quirked a curious eyebrow at their son before writing the action off as him simply feeling a bit warm and wanting to be more comfortable.

Hongjoong restrained himself from letting out a breath he almost didn’t realize he was holding - he vowed to be on his best behavior tonight, and making his parents suspicious of him even in the slightest was not the way to go for that.

His gaze swept the ballroom once more, suddenly getting caught on someone who looked like they really, truly didn’t want to be at the ball despite being invited - and having the choice to decline, at that.

You.

Hongjoong couldn’t deny being intrigued by the way you leaned against the wall, arms crossed and a glass in hand while your eyes were cast towards your feet. Or at least that was what it looked like to him, the upper half of your face concealed by your silver mask.

In the blink of an eye, one that could only be described as an impulsive moment of weakness, Hongjoong was off his throne and weaving through the crowd to reach you.

His parents attempted to stop him, although they were held back by Hongjoong’s older brother, the guard captain, who wanted to see how this would play out.

It was almost amusing to see how the mass of dancing - and to varying degrees also intoxicated - people seemed to intentionally part to let Hongjoong through, noone caring enough to question his behavior.

You had just put your empty glass down on a passing server’s tray with a polite smile, jumping slightly when an attractive young male appeared in front of you before quickly regaining your posture and bowing out of courtesy.

The man smiled, bowing as well and holding out a hand for you to take while his eyes studied what little he could see of your face.

“I couldn’t help but notice you from across the room,” your face warmed in realization from his words, “Would you care for a dance~?”

It took you a moment for the words to register in your head before you nodded, placing your hand in his. “I would be honored to dance with you... Your Highness~”

Hongjoong’s lips twitched into a wider smile - he had a feeling you’d recognize him, especially so given his rather extravagant taste in hair colors.

Standing up straight again, he gently tugged you along to the center of the ballroom before beginning to effortlessly lead you in a slow waltz.

You did your very best to not let your proximity to him fluster you, attempting to conceal that by keeping up a conversation instead, “So... how come I piqued the crown prince’s interest when I have been, allow me to be so bold, less than interested in the festivities?”

Hongjoong let out a small chuckle, “It’s simple - that is exactly why, I am... not much of a celebratory person myself, I much prefer the company of my piano, for instance.”

“I see,” you hummed in response, “and why are you here, dancing with me, if you’d rather not be here altogether?”

He was quickly growing to like your curiosity, he realized.

“I suppose it wouldn’t be very becoming of me to not be present at an event held in my honor, no? And I thought I may as well take my chance and ask someone as mysterious as you to a dance, make it a tad more interesting. Speaking of... what brings you here? Because with all due respect to my family’s ability to entertain nobles for hours on end, I cannot find it in myself to blame you for not wanting to be here at all~”

You knew you both felt it, slowly but surely felt the awkward atmosphere between you and Hongjoong cracking and instead melting into one that seemed almost... familiar.

“Well... That is a situation you can thank my dear cousin, Wooyoung, for.” Hongjoong smiled - he could hear the playful contempt in your tone, it was one he used a lot in regard to his brother when he was younger, and he knew you cared about this man deeply.

“He was the one invited and received a spare invitation as well, and both of our families agreed that his brother is much too young to safely be brought here, so they decided ‘surely Y/n would enjoy themselves much more than we would.’“

Realizing you were complaining openly about your family, you averted your eyes bashfully before your face warmed even more when Hongjoong’s hand, previously resting on the small of your back, moved to gently tilt your head back to face him.

His expression told you that he would remove both of his hands from you at a moment’s notice if only you asked, though you saw no reason to move away from the handsome prince. It was only mere seconds, but to your poor heart it had felt like an eternity had passed before he spoke again.

“Such is not the case, then, and I can truly not condemn you for it.” He paused for a moment, appearing to collect his thoughts. “Y/n... what a wonderful name, ‘twould have been a shame if I hadn’t been able to learn it tonight.”

Your brain short-circuited; his attempt at courting you was perhaps the least possible thing you imagined happening tonight. Hongjoong noticed this, laughing softly to try and ease your mind a little, and it seemed to work when you smiled brightly at him.

It was then that the song you were dancing to ended, the music seeming to cease for good - at least for the time being - while chatter and laughter filled the ballroom and surrounded the two of you where you stood once more.

Some wordless communication must’ve been happening between you and Hongjoong because only mere moments later, you gave him a small nod and he turned to pull you with him to the doors connecting to the hallways which, in turn, would lead you outside to the gardens.

A hint of nervousness shot through you when your eyes connected with that of a highly suspicious guard in front of a door, though the prince next to you took it in stride and simply fixed the other man with a challenging glare that looked menacing even beneath his mask.

It was almost amusing to see Hongjoong turn back to you with a cheery and innocent smile afterwards, nodding his head towards the door and allowing you to follow as he finally led you out into the embrace of fresh air.

Unbeknownst to you, he had to fight back a gasp of awe from how the moonlight illuminated your face - the lights in the ballroom, and within the palace overall, produced a much more artificial light that he had yet to grow to like.

A soft laugh escaped you as you picked up your dress a bit as to not stumble and fall, skipping towards the nearby fountain with a smiling Hongjoong in tow.

You sat on the edge of the cold granite, careful to balance yourself as you glided your fingers across the water’s surface while Hongjoong mimicked you a few feet away.

When you both looked up at the same time after a moment of silence, prompting your eyes to meet, the prince sputtered - clearly flustered.

“My apologies,” he started, his tone soft, “I’m not usually so... inadequate when it comes to social interactions with lovely people.”

You grinned, endeared, when he seemed to realize his slip of the tongue almost immediately and slapped a hand over his mouth.

“It’s quite alright, Hongjoong.” You assured him, and it looked as if every bit of tension dropped from his shoulders in response - a sight you were glad to witness.

“If anything, I find it charming to see the supposedly so composed and well-behaved prince show a little more reaction and be... a little more human, I suppose I should say.”

“A little more human?” Hongjoong echoed intrigued, his head tilting to the side. You were captivated by the dual-haired man and didn’t even realize it.

“Mhm. Most nobles I have met in my lifetime are, for lack of better terminology, rather stuck-up and care only for flaunting their wealth that they hadn’t worked a single moment in their lives for.”

Hongjoong’s eyes lit up then and it was your turn to feel your face warm, determined to see this look on him more often.

“That’s how I feel too!” He exclaimed with a toothy, enthusiastic smile. “My parents included, though I mean no offense - they’ve given me everything a man could ever ask for and more, after all.”

He still seemed a bit cautious around you, so you hummed your understanding. “Don’t worry, my family’s the same. Wanting my cousin and I to both marry other nobles to maintain our influence, regardless of what we might wish for instead.”

Hongjoong moved a little closer, then. Even in the darkness and beneath the mask, you could make out an equally curious and challenging expression on his face.

“What is it that you do want?”

You were positively caught off-guard by his question; you couldn’t remember a single instance of someone else who appeared to genuinely care enough to ask this question. It was usually about your family instead, so weren’t sure how to answer.

Noticing your hesitance though falsely interpreting it as discomfort instead, Hongjoong shuffled away again a little. “If I overstepped a boundary with that, I-”

He fell silent immediately when you reached for his hand and pulled him even closer than he sat before, his face visibly heated now.

“Nonsense. It’s just... nobody had ever stopped to think what I may want, and what I want is... to just be Y/n, and not someone with some fancy titles and money and things others deserve to have just as much, if not moreso. I want to be free.”

Hongjoong had an unreadable expression on his face, which you took as a signal to continue.

“As much as I am eternally grateful, at times I feel like...”

“...a bird in a lavish gilded cage?” He finished his sentence for you, and you nodded in stunned silence at how similarly the two of you felt.

“You could not possibly be more right.” You laughed sheepishly, and Hongjoong promptly joined in with a mirthful chuckle.

You wanted to hear that sound again. All the time.

He was the first to speak again after a moment of peaceful quiet, “Well... now that we’ve revealed our deepest secrets to each other, don’t you think it’s time for our literal masks to come off too?”

It took you only a brief moment to process his words before nodding, tugging down your mask and the string that kept it in place, effectively leaving the former to dangle from your neck much like a necklace would.

Hongjoong, meanwhile, had taken his own mask off and carefully tucked it into the pocket of his suit pants. Both of you gasped when you looked at each other once more; it wasn’t like the masks hid much, but seeing each other’s faces unobscured still felt meaningful - almost like a secret to be kept.

“I feel free with you.” You spoke at the same time, prompting a series of flustered quiet giggles to follow because you both knew it was true.

Even with the only light being that of the moon shining above, you could tell he was beautiful. His dark eyes reminded you of hot chocolate, his pointy nose of those of the fairies in the stories you loved to read, and his smiling lips had no right to look as soft as they did. And the small beauty mark on the side of his neck only added to how pretty he was in your eyes.

Hongjoong was likewise mesmerized, his hand reaching to caress the curve of your face and keep your gaze connected to his own. He was evidently entranced, not even fully aware of the distance between your faces slowly shrinking.

One of your own hands lifted to place itself at the back of his neck, careful to keep his expertly styled hair as it was.

When he seemed to come back to his senses, about to pull back to create more distance out of respect for your boundaries, you took initiative instead and boldly pressed your lips against his.

He froze in surprise for a few short seconds, causing to worry you might’ve overestimated your chances but when he melted and reciprocated almost eagerly, any semblance of concern ebbed away.

You parted what felt like an eternity later, shyly folding your hands in your lap while Hongjoong bashfully scratched his neck.

“I...” he cleared his throat, clearly stalling to find his words, “I hope you k-kissed me because you wanted to, not because you felt obligated since I was so close without even realizing it.”

You smiled at him in response, shaking your head lightly. “Hongjoong, with all due respect, I can assure you I did it because I wanted to. And you did too, right?”

He nodded his head ‘yes’ before trusting his voice, “I did, it was wonderful and it... it felt like a taste of freedom.”

“Better not overdose on it.” You joked lightly, affirmation following quick behind, “I feel the same way, though.”

Hongjoong hummed in both gratitude and amusement before getting up with seemingly new-found confidence, tugging you gently to stand as well. “Since we cannot possibly overdose on each other... may I take you for a little walk through the royal gardens until duty calls again~?”

He was a smooth talker, you’d give him that. You playfully quirked an eyebrow at him, “A walk in the royal gardens, you say? Is that meant to be a euphemism for something more... crude in nature, perhaps?”

The dual-color haired prince faltered in his steps and nearly tripped over his own two feet while he led you between gaps in hedges to elaborate and well-kept flower beds, nearly whirling around in shock at your suggestion.

“N-No I would never! I swear on my life I’m innocent!” You found his insistence cute, squeezing his hand to reassure him.

“You can relax Hongjoong, I was merely teasing. I know you’re a gentleman~”

He let out a small sigh in response, his tone almost whiny when he next spoke, “Don’t do that again~!”

The prince settled down completely when your lips brushed a peck against his cheek. “Oh my...~”

Neither of you knew how much time passed while you toured his family’s property together - you had to admit, it was impressive how well-kept it all was despite the size of it. You were well aware they had staff taking care of it, but that did nothing to deter your awe.

When it seemed you had seen everything there was to see outside, Hongjoong suddenly turned to you with a determined expression and caused you to almost bump into him in surprise.

“Well, I think this concludes our tour at least for now,” he laughed softly in reaction, “the secret passageways are too risky with all these guards around. So, pinky promise that we’ll see each other again?”

You blinked before enthusiastically linking your pinky with his with a smile, “Of course! I wouldn’t give up my personified freedom for anything~”

Hongjoong blushed at that, deciding the best way to convey his mutual feelings was to kiss you again, and you reciprocated in kind.

You were both a little breathless when you pulled away, “Also promise to stay in touch no matter what?”

“Promise.” Hongjoong grinned, taking your hand in his again - a lot less shyly than before - and leading you back to the palace, but not before ensuring both of your masks were secure on your faces again.

Just to look as if nothing had happened.

Once there you were met by both Hongjoong’s brother and your cousin. The latter simply quirked an eyebrow at you, a clearly amused smirk present on his lips while you stood next to him and smoothed down your dress a bit. The young prince, in turn, positioned himself to his brother’s side.

Ever the gentleman, he bent forward and gently pressed a kiss to the hand you offered him before standing straight and disappearing into the crowd with his brother.

Wooyoung looked at you expectantly, which earned him no more than a grumble of “I’ll tell you later.”

Both of your heads snapped up when a loud ‘clink’ sounded, indicating the royal family had an announcement to make. An older man, who you assumed to be the king and thus Hongjoong’s father considering his attire, stepped forward from the row of thrones. You also saw the queen standing on his one side and your dual-haired partner in crime on the other, with his brother a bit further off.

“As you all know, this ball was hosted in honor of our youngest son, Hongjoong. Given the time, we have decided to conclude tonight’s festivities and allow everyone to- hm?”

Confusion found its way onto your face and that of numerous other guests when Hongjoong suddenly tapped his father on the shoulder and whispered something in his ear before stepping forward.

“I just wanted to personally thank all of you for coming! I know I’m... not exactly the best nor most social of hosts, but,” his eyes met yours across the room and you instinctively straightened up, much to your cousin’s further amusement so you subtly elbowed him in the side, “I thoroughly enjoyed myself tonight, more than I have in quite some time, and I wouldn’t have if you all hadn’t come.”

You found it almost cute how Hongjoong was clearly buttering up all those nobles around you, yet they seemed none the wiser while they clapped happily before slowly but surely the crowd dispersed and everyone went on their own merry ways.

Wooyoung started tugging you outside after a few moments as well, and when you glanced back one last time you could’ve sworn you caught the corners of Hongjoong’s lips twitching up into a smile before he turned and left alongside the rest of his family.

Once in the carriage to your accomodations, Wooyoung refused to stop clinging to you until you told him where you were the whole time. You pointedly reminded him that he was the one to leave you on your own just to flirt with a pretty lady - who was probably already spoken for anyway. He pouted but let you continue, knowing you were right.

Purposefully omitting the part where you and Hongjoong kissed multiple times, held hands and declared each other as your freedom in human form, you simply told him that you both simply wanted to get away from the loud ball for a bit.

It technically wasn’t even a lie.

Back at the palace, Hongjoong hung his head low as he followed his parents to their private chambers, shooting his brother a glare when he spots him silently snickering in the corner of his vision. Because of this, he almost bumped into his father when he stopped and turned to look at him while the prince bashfully avoided his eyes.

His father gently gripped his chin and tilted his head up towards him.

“Son, you’re not normally so insistent on expressing gratitude for these parties. You were trying to impress us, no?”

“I- how-”

A chuckle came in reply. “We quite literally raised you, Hongjoong. Staff involved or no, we know you better than anyone except for maybe Seonghwa.”

Hongjoong was speechless; was he really such an open book? It was then his mother chimed in, “Worry not, we’re not the least bit upset you decided to... take a little break, if you will.”

“You’re really not?!”

“Not in the slightest,” his brother affirmed from the sidelines.

“In fact, it was what we were hoping for. You see... we know you were usually only sitting through these events for our sake, and we do appreciate your... sacrifice, in that sense, but we wanted you to finally live a little and make your own decisions. And we’re glad to see you seem to finally connect to someone from outside of our own home.”

Hongjoong was well and truly stunned, this wasn’t at all what he expected his parents to say about his impromptu disappearance - he was ready to beg on his knees in earnest for them to not punish him, this was a development he didn’t expect in the slightest.

“So, what you’re saying is...” He started carefully, encouraged by nods to finish his thought, “my next birthday celebration will be my coronation?!”

His excitement and the hopefulness in his eyes were beyond endearing to his family, having always had a bit of a soft spot for him.

“Correct. While we both may not be particularly old yet, we see no reason to not led you lead in our stead. You’re young, have high ambitions and the people love you as you’re aware. We’re confident you will be an excellent ruler, and we will be here to support you by whatever means necessary and possible for as long as we live.”

Feeling tears of joy well up in his eyes, Hongjoong enveloped his parents in a tight hug and tugged his brother close for him to join in as well before pulling back again and bowing to excuse himself, turning to retire to his own room with quick steps.

He wanted, no, needed to tell Seonghwa about this and get started on writing to you.

He had a promise to keep, after all.

His first letter to you, scribbled excitedly onto the first piece of blank parchment he could find, told you about his parents’ reaction and the date of his coronation, followed by an overly formal invitation to the latter. He felt awfully shy about it, but at the same time he was confident you wouldn’t turn him down - not after the meaningful exchange you had with the moon and stars as your only witnesses.

Your first letter to him, equally enthusiastic, told him that you wouldn’t miss it for the world and congratulated him on everything working out so well, and also told him about all kinds of shenanigans your cousin was up to as well as what you did together. Hongjoong was glad to learn more about you this way.

And both letters contained a vow to meet each other again as soon as possible. To be free together.

----- Taglist:

@ateezinmymind @cometoceantrenches @ddeonghwva @latte-fairytaekwoon @little-precious-baby @multidreams-and-desires @nightqueennyx @serialee @tohokuu @twancingyunhoe @vocalyunho

Network tag:

@8makes1teamnet

#8makes1teamnet #ateez fanfic #ateez fluff #hongjoong fanfic #hongjoong fluff #ateez hongjoong fanfic #ateez hongjoong fluff #*twirls hair* hii surprise I still write #hanatiny writes

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juniormint1125 · 1 year

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It's All For the Best - Part 1

I'm supposed to be finishing my Minhyuk One Shot/One Song but Kim Hongjoong has completely distracted me from everything! Here's part 1!

It’s All For the Best Kim Hongjoong x Reader

Summary: Reader and Hongjoong are in an established relationship when something unexpected tests the strength of their bond.

Word Count: Part 1 -1,628

Genre: fluff

Warnings/Contains: Part 1 –allusions to sex

Today is the day. Hongjoong is coming home. He’s been on tour in Japan for the last few weeks, and when he gets home, you’ll have him entirely to yourself. But only for two days. Then he’ll start preparing for the American leg of the tour. In any normal relationship, spending two days together would seem like nothing, but for you and Hongjoong, two days feels like eternity.

As an idol, he works nonstop. From last minute rehearsals to all-nighters at the studio, he’s busy nearly twenty-four hours a day. The bulk of your relationship plays out over FaceTime while Hongjoong is rushing from one commitment to another. In person, quality time is sacred, and you treasure every minute. It’s not a typical relationship by any means, but you never complain.

You knew what sort of life you were getting into when Seonghwa convinced you to finally confess your feelings. You remember being apprehensive, but Seonghwa had eased your anxiety by assuring you that Hongjoong felt the same way. You’d questioned him as to why Hongjoong hadn’t said anything, but Seonghwa simply said “He has his reasons,” and pleaded with you to confess.

You garnered enough courage and waited for Hongjoong after practice. You remember how he stood apart from you, his arms crossed and his voice hesitant. But his body language hadn’t been able to hide his elation. He had blushingly admitted that he liked you from the first time you translated for the group. You’d been hired just out of grad school to accompany them on their first North American tour. He’d been impressed by your skill in Korean, and his affection for you had grown. From then on, he made sure to request you as the group’s translator whenever they needed one.

But he was afraid you would get hurt by his life as an idol. That’s why he had kept his feelings a secret. He wanted to protect you. You told him that any trouble you might encounter would be more than worth it. If there were any problems, you had assured him, your relationship could withstand them. His responding smile had lit up the entire room and then he pulled you into his arms where you shared your first kiss.

That had been nearly two years ago, and in that time, you had made a point to never complain to him about missed dates or cancelled plans. You kept your disappointment inside, knowing he would blame himself if you were upset.

Seonghwa, who has grown to be one of your closest friends, always tries his best to comfort you. He’s the only one you can talk to, and he understands your reasons for not telling Hongjoong, even if he disagrees. He consoles you by telling you your feelings aren’t one sided; Hongjoong suffers the same way you do. He feels guilty for constantly cancelling plans and leaving you alone. You playfully chide Seonghwa for telling Hongjoong’s secrets, but privately revel in the confession.

It is a consolation to know that Hongjoong loves you so much. But your heart aches that he blames himself. You know how important his career is to him, and there’s no way you will ever stand in the way of that by being a clingy and needy girlfriend. It’s important to you because it’s important to him. So, you make the most of the time you do get to spend with him, doting on him as much as you possibly can.

And that’s your plan for the next two days. You’ve made sure that the apartment you share is spotless, all the laundry washed and put away, every one of Hongjoong’s knick knacks dusted and shined. You’ve shopped for groceries, filling the cabinets with all his favorites. Everything is taken care of and the two of you won’t have to leave the apartment for anything.

You watch the clock waiting for his arrival, and you feel a pang of nervousness. A small part of you always worries when he’s on tour. As he travels the world, will he return to you, unsatisfied with your life together? Will he find you unattractive beside the thousands of beautiful people he certainly meets? Will he be bored with your simple life after the excitement of traveling the world through country after country? Or will he be swept off his feet by an exotic fan at one of his concerts?

You’re determined to ignore your ridiculous insecurities, instead focusing on this morning’s conversation with Hongjoong. The plane should land around 6pm, then he’ll have to go to the company to wrap up tour business. You hope it will be quick with nothing unexpected delaying his arrival. The clock reads 7:15pm. It won’t be long before he’s home. Hopefully.

You check the pot cooking on the stove. Hongjoong’s always hungry when he comes home from tour, so you plan to have dinner ready for him when he gets there. He swears there’s nothing better than your cooking. It makes you smile, even though you’re certain it’s not entirely one hundred percent true.

You’ve also saved a special bottle of wine for his return. The two of you bought it together at an obscure shop Hongjoong had dragged you into on one of your rare, but beloved, late-night walks around the city. You pour a glass, hoping it will help you relax. When you raise the glass to your lips though, your stomach lurches. You usually love white wine, but tonight, the smell makes you feel sick. You chalk it up to nerves and sit the glass back down on the counter.

You freshen up in the bedroom before Hongjoong arrives. You dab on the perfume that drives him wild, a mix of jasmine and rose with a hint of sweet mulberries. As the scent envelops you, you smile. More than once, you’ve caught him spraying the fragrance onto the cuffs of his shirts. When you asked him about it, his face turned crimson. He confessed that your scent made him feel grounded when he couldn’t be with you, and that made him miss you a little less.

Your heart jerks at the precious memory. God, you’ve missed him - his tiny giggle, his wide toothed grin, his soft, warm hands in yours. You close your eyes, sighing. Your fingers brush over your lips as you think of how they’ll soon be smothered in his unhurried, lingering kisses, the thing you’ve missed the most.

You slip into a soft cotton dress, the shade of scarlet, Hongjoong’s favorite. He surprised you with it just before he left for Japan. It’s gorgeous; Hongjoong has impeccable taste. You’re looking forward to his reaction. Seeing you in the clothes he’s chosen for you incites him.

You light candles in the living room to soften the mood. You’re a hopeless romantic, and you found your soulmate in Hongjoong. He’ll surely appreciate the atmosphere. Everything seems to be ready, so you sink onto the couch to catch your breath and wait. Time passes slowly as you daydream about your reunion. You look at the clock again. He should have been home by now.

You send him a quick text, and a few minutes later, he responds with an apology. The flight was delayed by a storm, and he’s been stuck at the company longer than he expected. He promises he’ll be home soon, gushing about how he can’t wait to kiss each one of the freckles on your nose and cheeks. You giggle at how adorable he is, texting back that he’s forgiven. He sends you a kissing face emoji and promises to hurry.

You put down your phone, and lean against the pillows, closing your eyes. You haven’t gotten much rest the last few weeks and you’re exhausted. You don’t sleep well when Hongjoong’s out of the country.

The next thing you know, someone is calling your name. You’re groggy from sleep and have trouble figuring out where the voice is coming from. It’s unusually husky and low, but you’d recognize it anywhere. You open your eyes to Hongjoong’s captivating smile staring back at you.

“Joongie,” you whisper with a smile.

“Hi,” he replies. You stare into his umber-colored eyes, wondering if he’s actually here or if you’re dreaming. You reach out to touch his cheek, and his eyes flutter shut at the contact. His voice is tremulous and filled with emotion.

“I’ve missed you so much,” he whispers.

You pull him into your arms. You need to feel his skin against yours and to feel his heart beating, to know that he’s real and that he’s yours.

“I can’t believe you’re finally here,” you murmur in his ear. You want to see his face again, but when you try to pull away, he draws you closer.

“Don’t let go. Not yet.”

You smile at his request and melt into him. His arms fit perfectly around you, like a favorite old sweater that’s been worn in just the right places. The only sound in the room is his breathing as he holds you tight against him.

He finally lets you go, but only for a moment. In the next instant, his lips are on yours, deep and slow kisses that radiate to your core. It’s as though you’ve never been apart, his hands quickly and easily finding the familiar places that unravel you. His lips graze the skin of your neck, and you sigh blissfully.

“What happened to kissing the freckles on my nose?” you tease.

“I plan on kissing much more than just your nose,” he whispers. A devilish grin spreads across his face, and he takes your hand, pulling you from the couch. You follow him to the bedroom where he proves just how much he missed you.

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eightmakesonebraincell · 2 months

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ateez as pirates who fall for you (hyung line)

read maknae line here

genre: pirate!ateez x gn!reader (fem!reader for hongjoong), fluff, angst, crack, and as always - a brainrot of every pirate trope to exist

length: 10.4k

c/w: heavy and mature themes - mdni, explicit language (swearing, insults), death, violence, blood & injuries, weapons, illegal acts (piracy, ransoming, verbal abuse, abduction), alcohol, pet names

a/n: maknae line will come yes but who knows when 🤷‍♀️ work has been really testing my dopamine vibes this year 😔👎 thank you @sorryimananti-romantic for keeping a detailed hitlist for me ♡

hongjoong

pov: you're a royal princess rescued by him

“captain, are you sure we can’t toss her overboard?”

jongho and hongjoong watch as wooyoung’s face falls after you pointedly ignore his attempts to make conversation once again

for someone who is technically their guest aboard the arriba, it seems as though you are hellbent on being as difficult as you can be

“unfortunately, we can’t,” hongjoong grouches to the younger, “not unless we want to exchange our payment for a hefty bounty on our own heads”

when jongho sighs, the captain squeezes his shoulder in comfort and adds on, “trust me, i’ve thought about it too”

hongjoong and his crew are privateers - pirates in theory, but technically excused so long as they have their letter of marque to state that they are authorised to attack other vessels

rescuing a royal princess was never explicitly part of the contract, although he thinks that not rescuing you would have pretty much been equivalent to a blatant show of insubordination

you had been taken ransom by one of the merchant ships the arriba had been plundering

needless to say, they had been close to tossing you overboard too; your kingdom had never paid for your ransom

the lack of response from your parents wasn’t anything you weren’t expecting but it’s a sore spot nonetheless

so it’s certainly hard for you to play friendly when you’re quite literally shucked off from stranger to stranger faster than a hot potato

san tugs wooyoung closer towards him and gently says to you, “he’s just trying to be nice - we all are”

the movement doesn’t go unnoticed by you

“i don’t need your pity,” you answer, the only sentence you have spoken today

you’ve lived two decades of your life pretending you don’t see the pitying gazes of your maids and butlers

you certainly don’t need pity from these people - pirates no less

“it’s not-” wooyoung starts to say

but the captain steps in before he can defend himself

“if this is how you’re always acting, i’m starting to see why your kingdom never paid for your ransom”

had hongjoong been less preoccupied by your words, he would have realised that your tone is candid, as if it is only natural for the people around you to pity you

but he’s clouded with his mindset as captain, unable to stand by idly while his own crew put up with your attitude, and so the words come out anyway - shards of shrapnel that bury themselves into your heart

there is only a fleeting second when your eyes dilate with hurt

you conceal it immediately, replacing it with a steely gaze, yet the image has already seared itself into hongjoong’s mind

“maybe you should throw me overboard, then,” you counter, “i’m sure my family will thank you for it”

and even if you have completely neutralised your expression, no one misses the wounded tone of your voice before you disappear down into the lower deck

mingi lets out a low whistle after the resounding slam of the hatch closing

“you fucked up, captain”

hongjoong doesn’t need anyone to spell it out for him

the heavy feeling in his stomach is telling enough

it isn’t until the moon has long since risen that you emerge through the hatch again

you had bypassed the sleeping quarters to the hold, wedging yourself between barrels of grain until you were sure no one would find you

not that they would have tried to anyway - seonghwa had told them all to give you some space

you had run your finger up and down the sides of the barrels repetitively for hours on end, mind simultaneously void and filled with thoughts

the walls you had built around yourself kept you safe, but it had started to become awfully lonely after a while

when it had become a little too suffocating in the hold and you guessed that most of the crew was asleep, you had softly padded back up the stairs and across the main deck

you now sit on the foredeck where the endless expanse of the sea stretches out in front of you, closing your eyes and letting the swaying of the ship lull you into tranquillity

tonight, the moon winks down fondly upon the waters

hongjoong watches you from the quarterdeck

he’s seen you sit at the front of the ship on many nights when you should really have been asleep

he wonders if you’ve always looked so small and fragile with your knees drawn up to your chest, or whether it’s because the flash of hurt in your eyes and voice is still fresh in his mind

“go, captain,” yunho murmurs from where he’s at the helm, “it’s a quiet night”

hongjoong startles at having been caught gazing, clearing his throat and dragging his eyes away

“why should i, if she’s just going to ignore me?” he scoffs

but he knows he’s just being petty at this point and his chest churns in agreement

“maybe,” yunho hums softly in response. “did seonghwa ever give up on you, though?”

it’s rhetorical - hongjoong knows the answer better than anyone

the captain doesn’t say anything but after several beats of silence, he sighs and makes a move to the foredeck where you are

yunho smiles to himself

you and hongjoong may be more similar than his captain realises

your shoulders stiffen when the sound of hongjoong’s footsteps approaches

you’re not sure what to expect and you don’t exactly want to find out and risk getting hurt

but having spent all day swimming alone in your thoughts, you do want to show that you feel apologetic because admittedly, you were being an ass too

getting up to walk away when he’s taken the first step certainly won’t help your case

you hold your breath in awkward silence as he settles down beside you, leaving a respectable distance between your hunched figures

only now is hongjoong realising that he hasn’t actually thought about or decided on what he wants to say to you

but he can feel the confusion rolling off of you in waves, so he grits his teeth and says fuck it

“i won’t apologise for defending my crew, but i’m sorry for how i did it and for what i said”

he hopes you know he is sincere when he continues, “we all have our prickly edges. i can’t fault you for yours”

compassion is a foreign concept to you and so you’re a little stumped for words

hongjoong isn’t sure whether your silence is a good or bad thing, but you have yet to stand up and walk away from the conversation

“there’s only about a week left until we reach port and we’ll leave after you make it back to your kingdom and we receive our payment. i’m not asking for you to be friendly, but let’s at least be civil with each other until then,” he says

you want to nod, agree, anything

and yet you can’t seem to make your head move or the words to come out of your mouth

rome was not built in a day. but neither did its walls fall in a day

hongjoong doesn’t push for an answer when instead, you ask, “how many people have you actually tossed overboard before?”

he resists the urge to laugh at your question, suddenly endeared by the fact that you’re still bothered by his very empty threat

“none, but my offer still stands. you’re welcome to be my first,” he deadpans

you let out a snort and although you quickly turn your head away, hongjoong sees the hint of amusement in your eyes

no further words are exchanged between the two of you and you do not acknowledge him when he eventually stands to rejoin yunho at the helm

but it’s a start

and as with any relationship, be it friend, foe, or lover, there is always that

a beginning.

hongjoong isn’t really expecting much to change immediately so he doesn’t pay you much mind when you walk into the mess hall the following morning

you hesitate at the entrance when you see most of the crew are already present, the conversation you had with hongjoong last night replaying at the forefront of your mind

you chew on the inside of your mouth

wooyoung stops mid-conversation at the scrape of a plate on the table, looking up to find you sliding into the seat beside him with a tight-lipped smile

to your surprise, he greets you with enthusiasm and immediately drags you into the conversation

hongjoong watches as you slowly warm up and add one or two comments of your own in between bites of your hardtack

and when he catches your gaze after staring for too long, he gives you a smile to convey his appreciation; to acknowledge your efforts

you return it with a small smile of your own and unbeknownst to you, it stays on your face for the rest of the day

slowly, there become more and more reasons that elicit a smile out of you

you still sit out on the foredeck when everyone else has gone to sleep, but on most nights, hongjoong will join you even if just for a while

the two of you are content to sit side by side with nothing but the steady pulse of the ocean and intermittent creaks of the ship’s hull to break the silence of the night

tonight though, you find curiosity burning through you

“what’s it like?” you ask

“being a pirate?” he clarifies

you shrug vaguely, unsure yourself either, “being a pirate. being at sea. sailing with your crew”

he takes a moment to gather his thoughts - not because he doesn’t know what to say, but because there is too much he wants to say

when hongjoong answers, his voice rumbles softly from within his chest, tender and heartfelt

“there’s a sense of freedom that you can’t obtain when you’re bound to land and society. sailing the waters, the only limits are those of the open seas and of your own compass… the sunrises, the storms, the moonlight - it all becomes part of your home”

hongjoong leans back to rest on the palms of his hands, tilting his gaze up towards the twinkling sky

he reflects, “you experience brotherhood and gain a family that is worth multitudes more than the treasures you can accumulate, even if you were to live as a pirate for several lifetimes”

you’re enraptured by his words, like poetry that swirls off the pages of a book and drifts into your very soul

“i may be the captain of this crew, but they make me who i am. without them, i am nothing”

his words wash over you and unearth vivid memories

“that’s what the queen always says to me,” you reveal

a small smile starts to grace hongjoong’s face, but it falls just as quickly when he hears your next words

“that without her - without her title - i am nothing”

it’s funny, how the same phrase can hold such different meanings; can evoke such different emotions

you don’t elaborate any further, but hongjoong doesn’t think he needs you to in order for him to understand

he just wishes he had more time to show you that your mother is wrong

he can’t though

tomorrow they reach port and you will return to your rightful place in the palace

“tell me more about your crew,” you attempt to change the topic, “how did you all find each other?”

so hongjoong tells you

he talks for hours and hours and you listen all the while with a heavy heart, clinging onto his every word

on your final night, you two stay like that until the stars disappear and the horizon becomes streaked with the pale hues of sunrise

after the ship docks mere hours later, only hongjoong accompanies you to your kingdom after goodbyes are exchanged

wooyoung doesn’t take it well, and you find yourself holding back tears of your own as you are let through the palace doors with the captain by your side

but you blink them away when you approach the throne room because vulnerability is not an emotion you are willing to display

“y/n”

the queen addresses you curtly when you enter, and hongjoong wonders for a split second whether he has brought you back to the wrong kingdom

he knows your mother does not treat you fondly, but it’s still staggering to see it before his very own eyes

the monarch glances distastefully over him before her eyes flicker back to you

“i did not expect your return,” she states

your eyes remain impassive as you merely answer, “neither am i delighted to be back”

hongjoong recognises this look

he’s seen it when you first boarded his ship; he’s seen it when your hackles were raised

he’s seen it in himself, when he had been a teenager filled with nothing but growing resentment, before he had met seonghwa

your mother sneers, “then you should have made yourself useful and stayed with the pirates. as a whore or a dog, whatever it took.”

hongjoong has understood you since learning of your demons, but right now, he is you

he sees fifteen-year-old kim hongjoong, standing before a couple who are his parents only by title

he sees fifteen-year-old kim hongjoong, who doesn’t know what he has done that deems him undeserving of love

he sees fifteen-year-old kim hongjoong, all alone with no one to take his hand

“or really, you should have died on the ship”

hongjoong is close enough to you to hear the small hitch in your breath at your mother’s final jab

he may not have had someone to save his younger self, but he can do that now

he can be the person he so desperately needed years ago

and so he does just that.

hongjoong grabs your hand and drags you out of the palace

no one stops the two of you from leaving and he is unsure whether his heart hurts for you or sings with relief

you can only stutter in shock as you try to keep up, “hongjoong, what about your payment?”

his determined steps do not slow down, even as he looks back at you with a sure smile, “i told you before. some things are worth more than money”

the comforting squeeze of his hand conveys that you are worth more than any amount of money

the form of the arriba grows bigger in the distance and you think you can see the movement of excitement on deck when the crew spots your figures

hongjoong has slowed down his steps, but he has yet to let go of your hand

“and you deserve to know that. welcome to the crew, y/n”

to a family and love that you never had

you think you like the sound of that

“thank you, captain”

seonghwa

pov: you're a royal navy officer in disguise

you lay awake in your hammock, listening to the soft snores of the crew members around you

sleep doesn’t come easy to you anymore

particularly tonight

you contemplate whether it’s worth the risk to simply not show up

you know what the consequences are if they capture you - a slow and painful death - but you’re unsure whether you want to put ateez on the line too

your ship is currently docked for the night, having made a port stop at alcarres following one of the crew’s wishes to retire the pirate lifestyle and settle in the small town

their last night with ateez had been celebrated with sloshing rum and rowdy jigs, something you had found strange

there’s none of that in the royal navy

when one leaves, it is shameful and through one of three options only; old age, crippling injury, or…death

you had asked seonghwa, the quartermaster, why he and the captain were so accepting when crew members left as they wished

he had simply smiled and answered, “better a small but loyal crew than a large and unpredictable crew”

his words are like a sharp stone in your shoe as you finally slip out of your hammock and make your way off the ship

as ordered, you head to the tavern addressed

you salute the person in front of you and ease into your seat with a formality only when he disregards you

“admiral jang”

“you’re late,” the royal navy officer raises an eyebrow

“sorry, sir. i had to make sure everyone was asleep”

it’s not exactly the truth, but no one needs to know that you had spent an hour in your hammock questioning your morality

he ignores your excuse, jesting as he asks of your captain, “has the pirate king found the chart’s whereabouts yet?”

the charts

centuries ago, a crew of experienced sailors had travelled the six great seas and created the original navigational charts

the charts had become scattered and lost over time, but its value only increased exponentially as more and more sailors became victims to the sea trying to map its waters to the same detail and accuracy as the original charts

of the six originals, only the whereabouts of five are known, with most of them within the possession of the royal navy

it’s rumoured that hongjoong - the pirate king - has his hands on two of them and is currently tracking down the lost chart of the aurorian sea

the only sea that has yet to be chartered after its original map due to its dangerous and unpredictable sailing conditions

you know that your next words can hold an inexplicable amount of possibilities

“not yet. the last lead didn’t get him anywhere. turned out the last of the ahn clan had passed a decade ago”

his lips flatten at the lack of worthwhile information

“where’s the captain headed to next, then?” he probes

for a split second, the thought of lying crosses your mind

you can’t provide a different location - it would be much too obvious and would raise immediate suspicions

but you could give him a different time frame

after all, it’s not uncommon for navigational routes to be one to two weeks off should the waters be unpredictable enough

you find the truth spilling out of you anyway once you’re looking into his stone-cold eyes

“vlasgar. in about three weeks’ time”

for a moment, time stands still as your heart pounds and you attempt to slow your breathing, the officer staring back at you calculatingly

then he finally hums in satisfaction

you think that he is going to dismiss you, but as you make a move to leave, he leans back in his seat

the split second of hesitation was enough

“remember where your loyalty lies, y/n”

the air feels cold with the underlying threat

seonghwa’s words flit through your mind

better a small but loyal crew than a large and unpredictable crew

you swallow, “of course, admiral”

and then you’re dismissed with a nod

the unsettling feeling follows you all the way back to the ship and every miniscule creak of the floorboards underneath you seems to be amplified in the silence

you let out a short gasp of surprise when you’re about to climb back into your hammock, only to see seonghwa blinking blearily at you

“couldn’t sleep ‘gain?” he mumbles

you choke out a response, “yeah”

“i’ll make you tea b’fore you sleep ‘morrow,” his words slur with sleepiness

“okay,” you whisper

but you know it won’t make a difference

after all, there’s no remedy for guilt

it continues to fester the next day, as you linger outside the captain’s quarters

you can’t remember why you had come down to the lower deck, but it doesn’t matter now, not with seonghwa and the captain discussing what you think is related to the aurorian chart

“do you think he’s still in vlasgar?”

“min taesoo? it’s hard to say. but i’m sure he’ll have acquaintances still on the island who may have an idea of where he’s gone”

min taesoo

your brain tries to carefully file the name away, knowing that it’s what admiral jang would want to know, but at the same time, your heart tries to pretend it doesn’t know what you have heard so that you can forget about it

you find yourself scratching the name onto a scrap of paper anyway

unbeknownst to you, at the almost-imperceivable sound of your footsteps walking away, the two men behind the doors share a look

the crew sets sail again in the afternoon towards the next destination - vlasgar - and the scrap of paper in your pocket weighs you down so heavily that you feel off-kilter as you absentmindedly follow jongho up into the rigging to unfurl the sails

you’re near the top of the ropes when a sudden wave lurches the boat to starboard

it’s only a small push, really, but with your mind elsewhere, it catches you off guard and you miss your next step

the feeling of your hand dislodging from the sudden drag of your body weight brings you back to the present with a yell of surprise

(whether it’s your own or jongho’s, you can’t remember)

your sailing experience takes over and you try to swing your body back towards the safety of the rigging

you barely manage to grasp the ropes again but your hands slip down with your weight until they hit the next knot, the hot rush of friction threatening your grip

with adrenaline rushing through your body, you shakily climb back down, where there are several pairs of hands waiting to help you down the rest of the rigging

seonghwa’s hands do not leave you even after your feet are planted on the deck again

dread and shame heat the back of your neck and curl around onto your cheeks, knowing that a mistake like the one you had just made - accidental or not - would lead to a punishment like confinement in the lower deck back in the royal navy

except, when an apology starts to form on your lips, seonghwa bursts out in dismay

“y/n, your hands!”

you let out an unintelligible noise as seonghwa gently turns your palms over and you realise that the ropes have grazed some of the skin off

“it’s fine,” you want to say

but you’re silenced when he leads you to the small sick bay on the orlop deck

even if there is no surgeon on board, there is a small chest fastened to the wall that is home to their few and valuable medical supplies

you sit as he fusses over you with alcohol and strips of cloth

although he does a good job of wrapping your hands, your insides start to bleed with how intensely guilt eats away at you, like a maggot deep inside the core of a festering apple

that night as you shuffle towards your hammock to sleep, you flinch when you find seonghwa already sitting in his

he’s fighting the heaviness in his eyes as he carefully cradles something

upon seeing you, he wordlessly hands it to you with a sleepy smile before he finally sags into his own hammock with a content sigh

you look down and the warmth of it seems to burn through the padded dressing that the man before you has tenderly wrapped around your palms

the sensation travels upwards to burn your heart too

because in your hands is a cup of warm chamomile tea

and yet, despite the emptied cup, you find yourself unable to fall asleep

but in the darkness of the sky, with no witnesses other than the waves and sea foam themselves, a small piece of crumpled paper gets tossed overboard that night

the closer their ship approaches vlasgar, the more distant seonghwa notices you become

he worries

seonghwa thinks he worries for the reasons that he should be

he is the quartermaster; entrusted to protect the crew as the captain’s right-hand man

if that means ensuring no one will compromise the rest of his crew, even if it’s you, then so be it

that’s what he justifies to himself as he walks through the cobbled streets of vlasgar, slinking through the shadows as he follows your figure from a safe distance

(in reality, seonghwa worries for the reasons that he is not quite ready to admit yet)

he follows you into the dim bar of a tavern and carefully situates himself where he can watch over you without being discovered

he orders a mug of common ale as you approach someone

the man is dressed in civilian attire, but seonghwa can tell straight away from his demeanour and expression that he is not as ordinary as he appears

it’s confirmed when he hears you say, “admiral jang”

and then he sees it

the small but striking lapel pin on the breast of the man’s coat - the royal navy’s insignia

seonghwa feels for the sash that’s hidden underneath his own jacket and his fingertips meet the cool metal of the pistol tied inside

“you better have updates for me, y/n. what’s the pirate king’s purpose here in vlasgar?”

seonghwa knows he only has about five seconds to make a decision - one that could jeopardise the crew, or one that could jeopardise you

but you surprise yourself and the both of them when you answer steadfastly, “i don’t know, sir”

despite the din of drunker patrons in the tavern, it seems to fall deathly silent

“am i hearing wrong, officer?” the admiral questions with a disbelieving scoff

to your credit, your voice does not waver when you state again, “no, sir. i believe the captain and quartermaster are lying low. they have not revealed anything to me nor the rest of the crew”

seonghwa suddenly understands why you have distanced yourself

the admiral’s jaw tics

“is that so.”

you do not respond, only focusing on the spot between his raised eyebrows as he leans forward across the table

“where does your loyalty lie, y/n?”

neither the admiral nor seonghwa need to hear your answer to know the truth

a small crew may be outnumbered, but they have strength in loyalty and devotion

there’s a glint of movement from underneath the table as the admiral inches something out from his belt

seonghwa makes his decision

you flinch, eyes wide as there’s a deafening gunshot and the table beside you splinters and scatters the tankards of alcohol onto the floor

instantaneously, chaos erupts

there are drunken yells of fright and weapons clumsily brandished, tables upturned and chairs hurled across the room

it only takes one other misfired shot for the tavern to descend into hellfire as customers who were previously drinking together now turn on one another

nobody notices the two pirates dashing out, not even admiral jang, who is busy wrangling two inebriated men off his arms

your composure dissolves the moment you are dragged into an alleyway several streets away and you look up in shock to discover-

“seonghwa?! why are you here?”

“i could say the same about you,” he counters, hardly out of breath

you’re stunned by the fact that he seems completely unfazed by the mess that he has just dragged you out of

something clicks

“was that you? did you know all along?”

seonghwa smiles, “let’s just say you’re not as subtle as you think you are when you sneak around. plus, it’s uncommon for sailors to have the experience that you do without having had some sort of training”

you curse under your breath and wince, “does hongjoong know too?”

the quartermaster nods and you fear the answer to your next question

“then why has he not…why have you not…”

“killed you yet?” seonghwa chuckles. “i’m sure you’ve realised by now how skewed the royal navy’s beliefs are”

you’re quiet

the royal navy has always been cult-like in preaching the ruthlessness and barbarism of pirates, drilling into the officers the belief that pirates are the scum of the sea

but everything that you’ve known has been proven false since you’ve joined ateez; ironically, the pirates are more humane than the royal navy themself

their crew stand at attention whenever hongjoong or seonghwa walk onto the deck - not out of cultivated fear but genuine respect

when jongho is sore and tired from handling the riggings on a particularly rough and windy day, the others will offer to cover for his chores instead of flogging him into submission

and when mingi is divvying up the shares of the provisions and loot, the others will slip an extra bar of soap for seonghwa, the shiniest ring for mingi, or the largest bottle of rum for yunho, because they want to make each other happy

“hongjoong is the pirate king, yes, but a king should not take the lives of others for his own power. a true king uses his power to change the lives of others for the better…like yours…and like mine”

you frown with a jerk of your head

“what do you mean?”

you can’t see seonghwa as a broken man whatsoever

he gives you a weak smile, “i, too, used to be part of the royal navy”

your jaw drops

everything clicks into place - how he had figured out you weren’t just a common sailor and why he hadn’t confronted you about it

the shame and guilt come rushing back over you in a storm that is much too familiar by now

“i’m so sorry, all i’ve done is betray your trust-”

“but that’s what second chances are for, no?” seonghwa cuts you off, playfully flicking your forehead as he reminds you, “and i’m pretty sure you’ve chosen me over the royal navy”

your cheeks grow hot

“not you. the crew,” you mutter

he laughs and it’s a wonderful sound

“come on, it’s late,” seonghwa beckons. “let’s get some sleep”

when he sees that you’re still rooted to the spot, unsure whether you are deserving to go back, he decides for you and moves behind you to gently nudge you forward by the shoulders

you let him guide you

his hands are warm, you note, even through the linen of your shirt

his hands are also pretty, you observe, when he tries to fluff your hammock once you two have crept your way back to the berth

seonghwa helps you up into the hammock and you watch as he climbs into his

his hands are also teeming with love, you realise, when he wordlessly extends his arm nearest to you in a silent invitation

if you both reach out, you can just entwine your hands together from your respective hammocks

the burns on your palms have healed nicely and without the need for them to be wrapped, you can feel every expanse of his hand covering yours

he doesn’t retract his hand and neither do you, even though it’s not the most comfortable position and you both lose feeling of your arms soon after

but you lay in your hammock, drifting to the soft snores of the crew members around you and the soft tug of seonghwa’s fingers in yours

sleep comes easy to you

particularly tonight

as it will for the rest of your life

yunho

pov: you're the crew's navigator

you know it’s going to happen even before it actually does

you can feel it in the air and from the way the baby hairs around your hairline start to frizz

but you never say anything because you wouldn’t trade it for the moment when the first raindrop hits the back of yunho’s neck and he abandons his duty at the helm to drag you out onto the upper deck

(hongjoong only sighs in defeat before he stations himself at the helm instead)

you don’t like the rain

not like yunho does

you are already looking up from the map spread out in the captain’s quarters, a knowing smile on your face just from the sound of his bounding footsteps alerting you of his presence, when yunho appears with the beckon of rain

you pretend to let yourself be dragged to your feet along to his urges of come on!

but then you dash forward towards the hatch with yunho chasing after your bright laughter

in the short span of time that it has taken him to fetch you, the sprinkle of rain has steadily grown and the weathered planks of the deck are already a dark grey

you feel the coldness of the raindrops hitting the crown of your head and the spreading chill as your clothes start to become damp

but that’s not what makes you feel alive

yunho catches up to you easily and then he is snaking his arms around your waist to lift you up into the air

you barely have time to squeal and steady yourself on his broad shoulders before he is spinning the two of you around, the world blurring away as the spotlight shines on him and he is all that you can see

the deck is your stage and the sea is your audience

rain with yunho is twirling hugs, tiptoed kisses and tinkling laughter. it’s soaked shirts and rosy cheeks and the only thing that matters in the moment

you don’t like the rain, but it’s easy to like the rain when it’s with him

(hongjoong lets the two of you be - so obviously and hopelessly enamoured by each other - because when one sees people in love, one cannot help but watch and smile)

the rain eventually peters out and you and yunho must return to your respective duties, but not until you two have changed out of your drenched clothes and sneaked in a few more kisses

a few hours later, you hear the racket above the deck as a ship pulls up beside the arriba and ropes are thrown across from both sides to lash the vessels close together

hongjoong comes down to join you in his quarters, but he’s not alone

behind him is the captain of the silver light, dae jihoo, and his quartermaster, with seonghwa entering last

you note that this crew doesn’t have a navigator of their own

but you suppose that’s one of the reasons why their captain had implored an alliance for this particular raid

the crew of the silver light are wanting to target the prosperity triangle - an area between three large ports that is frequently trafficked by wealthy vessels transporting valuable goods

it’s a raid that would prove difficult for a smaller pirate crew like your own and the silver light, and especially if they have no navigator

but it’s not uncommon for pirates to form temporary alliances for such purposes, and together, your crews have a good chance of plundering a fortune

you nod your head in acknowledgement when hongjoong introduces you to the two pirates as ateez’s navigator

you don’t miss the way jihoo’s eyes seem to linger on you for a second too long before he flashes a crooked grin and gestures towards the navigational map spread out on the oak table

clearing your throat of discomfort, you step forward and flatten the creases out with your hands

“this is the most open spot within the triangle that the vessel we’re after will pass through,” you tap an annotated spot on the chart, “and this is where we are now”

you slide your finger across, “we’ll follow the rhumb line west to avoid the shallower waters and when we can catch the trade winds, it should be smooth sailing from there”

jihoo challenges you, “how can you be sure we’ll catch the ship within the triangle?”

“they’ll need to sail past the equator and i’m almost certain their ship will be slowed down by the doldrums. we can easily gain knots on them”

he squints at the scribbles you’ve made noting down what you’ve gathered of the wind patterns

you know for a fact that it will mean nothing to him, but whatever he sees must satisfy him because jihoo appears to make up his mind

“when do we set sail?” he directs his question to your captain

“three days from now”

he grunts a noise of affirmation and stands, which hongjoong takes as the cue to see them and the rest of their crew off your ship

you trail behind the group as you all head back to the upper deck

you prepare to emerge from the hatch with a playful wink, knowing that yunho will be craning his neck from the helm to get a glimpse of you, when a sudden holler surprises you out of your thoughts

it’s immediately met with the answering cries of several other pirates - none from your crew - and you hurry to clear the hatch to gain your bearings

you’re thrust right into the throes of battle as ateez are forced to unsheathe their cutlasses to defend against silver light’s sudden attack

having been caught off guard, basically none of your firearms are loaded with gunpowder, rendering them unusable

you will have to make do with the short sabre at your waist

there’s no time to account for the whereabouts and safety of your crew members and you just have to pray that you all make it out of this unscathed

especially yunho

but as ateez retaliate, you all notice something is off about the situation

your crew is very quickly overpowering the other pirates - it was a losing fight for them from the very beginning

it makes no sense to you nor the rest of your crew

the losses of breaking the alliance before the planned raid, much less through betrayal, far outweigh any gains they could possibly make from their choice of action

it makes absolutely no sense

until it does.

you are blocking the swing of a sabre with your own when you are tugged backwards harshly by the collar of your shirt

there’s an angry snarl in your throat as you prepare to turn around, but it’s quickly silenced by the warning shot of a pistol right beside your ear

the cold ring of metal is then pressed to the back of your head

you know that firearms require time to reload and there’s a chance that this pistol is now useless

but, like wooyoung has taught the rest of the crew to do, they may have pre-prepared several pistols and you are not willing to play with fire - especially when you are only the flex of a finger away from death

you vaguely hear someone yell out your name in panic, but you’re not quite sure you hear correctly over the clamour of cutlasses clashing, warcries resounding and your own heartbeat pounding

“stand down or your navigator dies,” the voice behind you thunders

it’s jihoo…and he wants a navigator for his crew

“ateez,” one of your men commands, “lower your weapons”

your crew may make decisions fairly, but in battle, only hongjoong has the power to make commands

yunho has never spoken against his captain or disobeyed orders

until now

the words do not come out of your captain’s mouth but yunho’s

the rest of the members hesitate - they will not stand down unless hongjoong commands them to, yet, they are unsure whether they will be able to follow should he demand them to fight on, even if it means endangering your life

but there is no guarantee jihoo will let your crew go unharmed even after you all surrender, and as the captain, hongjoong must make decisions in the best interest for the crew

“captain!” yunho yells desperately

yunho never yells

“stand down,” hongjoong commands

silver light’s captain steps in closer behind you until you can hear and feel the noise of intriguement that leaves his mouth down the back of your neck

“that your loverboy, hmm?”

he smirks

there’s a false moment of primal relief when the press of the pistol is removed from the back of your head, but it is immediately replaced with fear that is irrevocably worse as he aims it in yunho’s direction and shoots

“no!”

you shriek and pull against the tug of his hold, still fisted around your collar, your pupils blown wide with terror at the sight of the clean hole in the mast right beside yunho’s head

“it’ll be pretty boy’s head next if you don’t come with me,” jihoo coos into your ear

the fight slips out of you immediately

because if you can save him, a life for a life, then you will

even if the sight of mingi holding yunho back from lunging forward when the pistol’s barrel returns to your head makes your heart clench painfully

“y/n, don’t you dare,” yunho pleads, voice filled with anguish

you’re barely given enough time to lock eyes with him and say resolutely, “remember what you said to me,” before you are tugged away to the boarding plank

ateez can only watch helplessly as the planks are removed from over the bulwarks and the last of the ropes are untied, releasing the silver light from their ship for good

jihoo tugs you down the hatch as the ship starts to pull away, and just like that, you’re gone from their sights

“fuck!” yunho shouts furiously, unable to contain his emotions as he turns around and connects his fist with the mast

right where the musket ball had made a hole

his hand pulls away with bloodied knuckles from the splintered wood and the sheer force of his punch

a concerned whine leaves seonghwa’s mouth and he tries to approach the taller, but yunho shakes him off and looks determinedly at hongjoong

“we’re sailing to the banver isle just east of the triangle. we’ll ambush them there”

seonghwa looks between the two, hope flickering in his chest at the potential plan, “you think the silver light are stupid enough to try taking on the prosperity triangle alone?”

yunho chuckles darkly, “they were fucking shitbrained enough to take y/n, so yes”

nobody disagrees and hongjoong smirks dangerously

“ateez, ready the sails for banver isle,” he commands. “prepare for battle”

because not only have the silver light taken you away from ateez, but they have also annihilated the light from yunho’s eyes

gone are his warm brown orbs - they are now black holes thirsty for retribution

there will be lives to pay and even that will not be enough for the void

unaware of what your crew is capable of, jihoo looks down at you with a triumphant leer

“you’ll navigate us to the triangle in three days’ time. don’t even think about lying - you’ve already shown me where the location is”

with an even nod you reply, “of course”

it’s true though - you have absolutely no intention of navigating them somewhere else

because you know yunho will be waiting there for you

amidst chaste kisses exchanged between plush lips cold from the rain, yunho tells you in a brief moment of seriousness

“don’t show them where the real location is,” his breath is warm across your cheeks. “you know the coastal island roughly ten nautical miles away? show them that instead”

you tilt your head to look up at him, “you think they’ll betray us?”

“no,” he reassures you with a deeper, slower kiss, “but we can never be too safe”

and even if your vessels miss each other this time, you have complete faith that yunho will sail to the very ends of the world just to find you

two days before the originally-planned raid, the arriba sails as closely to banver isle as possible without risking running aground

yunho has navigated the ship around the back of the isle so that the form of the rocky terrain conceals them from sight

once the anchor is lowered, the crew members use every ticking moment to make preparations

swords are sharpened and firearms cleaned

mingi distributes the gunpowder and ammunition, which is pre-loaded into muskets, pistols and swivel cannons ready to be engaged

the ship’s sails and riggings are checked and yeosang keeps a keen lookout in the crow’s nest

and it’s as if the world itself can sense the brewing storm that grows inside yunho

the sea is eerily still and silent, but the sky is an omen to something impending, its rolling clouds dark and angry with the threat of rain leering over the waters

yunho doesn’t actually like the rain

he only likes it because it’s with you

rain with you is barefoot dancing, breathless confessions and bashful giggles. it’s drenched locks and fluttering eyelashes and the only thing that exists in the moment

but as the profile of the silver light finally approaches the isle two days later, the heavens split open and you are not by his side

rain without you is falling pinpricks, frigid winds and flaunting mockery and yunho despises it with his entire being

at yeosang’s call of, “vessel approaching from starboard,” up in the lookout, yunho smothers the fervid desire to barrage the other ship with cannonballs like hail from hell; to unleash an inferno that blazes through their hull as he sadistically watches the crew jump for their lives

he stamps out the hunger to shoot the ones that make it into the sea, not to kill, only to maim and induce a long, painful struggle in the open waters until death becomes inevitable - until there is enough blood spilt that it becomes the only stench in the air that stretches across for miles

yunho leashes his monsters with an iron fist

because he will not do anything that could even remotely endanger your life

even if it means that he has to hold back - to sit and wait like prey instead of advancing on the other ship like a predator

at least not yet.

silver light do not know, but this is the calm before the storm

the heavens may be crying, the winds may be howling and the waters may be roiling

but this is nothing compared to yunho

yunho is a tempest of unparalleled rage and their ship is in the eye of his storm

as the bowsprit of the silver light starts to appear around the isle, the members ready their grappling hooks and yunho draws his cutlass with a menacing whisper of unsheathing metal

you are his treasure, and pirates never lose sight of their treasure

today…you return to him

yeosang

pov: you're a tavern keeper

watching the ale reach the brim of the tankard you are holding, you’re about to step away from the barrel when the voice of a patron sounds behind you

“‘scuse me, could i get a mint-”

you look up and turn around in confusion as their voice cuts off

only to have the question taken right from the tip of your own tongue as you’re met with the face of the person you had loved for years

the same person you have spent twice as long trying to forget

eyes searching each other’s in a surprised stupor, seeing kang yeosang standing right in front of you takes you back to those memories that you have tried to remember and simultaneously bury

it thrusts you headfirst into what used to be of your shared love - like the feathery remnants of a dream, so distant from the fingers of your consciousness, suddenly returning to vivid existence when you least expect it

“hey, mint leaf. i’m back”

yeosang at least has the perceptiveness to appear a little apologetic, immediately pulling you into a hug and pressing soft kisses against your hairline uncaring of the other people in the tavern

it’s been several weeks since you last saw him, and whilst he had warned you he would be gone for longer this time, you hadn’t expected it to mean two whole months

he’s a small merchant who also fishes along the coast to earn enough to make ends meets, so he’s often gone for a few days or a week or two

you knew what you were in for when you first made it official with him, but just because you become accustomed to something, doesn’t mean it gets any easier

and he’s never been gone for this long

something must have happened - something good - because he looks alive, cheeks glowing and eyes fiery

“i met the crew”

“the crew?” you ask, hands reaching for the bourbon to prepare him a drink as he lets himself behind the counter to stand beside you in your workspace

he nods excitedly, "wooyoung’s pirate crew, ateez"

you think you know where this is going to go and you hate that your stomach sinks at the thought of what your future may become, because yeosang looks so happy to tell you about this and a happy yeosang is all that you could ask for

“the captain offered me a position as their lookout”

you pick out your next words carefully as you hand him his finished drink - a mint julep with two sugar cubes, just the way he likes it

"aren't…isn't being a pirate dangerous?"

“not as dangerous as you might think, actually. they’ve been showing me the ropes the last couple of weeks and…and i think i want to join them. officially”

there it is

the forked end of the road

you wonder how far two people can keep walking with their hands intertwined before the distance becomes too great and they have to let go

his words become a little muddled when he goes on to tell you about how they divvied up their recent loot to include his share too

how he’s gained more money than he’s made from the last two years of working as a merchant and fisherman combined

if he joins his old friend and his crew, he could earn enough to buy his parents a proper house; earn enough to build you your very own tavern

you want to tell him that you don’t need the tavern, just him, but you also know just how important his family is to him

his filial desire to take care of his parents was one of the very reasons you fell in love with him in the first place

before you can say anything though, the tavern keeper is interrupting to let you know that your shift is over

yeosang immediately perks up and herds you out of the place, claiming that there is a new fishing spot he discovered that he has to show you

and so you sit while he rows his modest boat, only the splash of his oars disturbing the peaceful stillness that has settled over the waters as the sun dips below the horizon

the waning light casts a soft, warm glow over him, like a gentle kiss against his skin and birthmark

if angels graced the earth, there would be one sitting right in front of you

“i missed you, mint leaf,” he confesses, gaze shyly averted. “i thought about you when i was gone”

“did you think about showing me this place?” you feel a little breathless

he nods, “every single night”

and that’s enough for you

it feels like everything is okay again

it doesn’t matter if you’re standing at a forked road

you think that perhaps, for him, you can walk on an unpaved path - just so that you can keep holding his hand

“y/n”

yeosang’s voice is deep

the word sounds foreign to your own ears but you don’t dwell on it

(because if you do, you’ll wonder whether it’s because you’ve forgotten the sound of his voice or because you want to hear him calling you something else)

“what would you like to order?” you ask

(because it’s easier to pretend that he’s just another patron than to admit that he used to be all that you ever knew)

yeosang fumbles a little but then regains himself, “oh, um- just a mint julep, please”

you turn your back to him to prepare his drink, hands reaching for the barrels lined along the bottom shelves without needing to look

you’ve made this drink too many times to count

half of those times were in the safety of the darkness that midnight offered; when the tears could flow freely without anyone seeing

it’s only when you start to mix his cocktail that yeosang realises he didn’t ask for his sugar cubes, but he figures the drink will taste bitter tonight either way so he opts to watch you instead

he wishes that he could walk past the counter like he used to and wrap his arms around you

he wishes that he could whisper endearments into your ears and press them against your lips

he wishes that he could show you that he still loves you

“do you still love me?” your voice wavers with hurt as you stand in front of him

he’s finally back after being gone for four months this time and you hate this conversation as much as he does, but it was bound to happen eventually

yeosang pleads, “more than anything”

“then why does it hurt so much? loving you…and being loved by you”

he doesn’t have an answer

but god be damned if he doesn’t try to find a way to fix things

“tell me, mint leaf, what can i do?”

you blink back your tears furiously, having already made up your mind while he was still at sea

“let’s break up”

because in the end, unpaved paths have too many rocks, too many thorns and too many arched roots; they were never meant to be walked along

you pass yeosang his finished drink without another word and then move further down the counter to serve a different customer

his eyes linger on you wistfully before he tears them away from you

it’s a good thing his hair has grown long enough to cover his face when he looks down

because his eyes start to grow wet at the sight of the mint julep you have made him

with two sugar cubes in it, just the way he likes it

perhaps, once you’ve loved somebody, you never really stop loving them

yeosang shows up again the next day and seats himself at the bar

you don’t serve him though, actively avoiding his end of the counter and letting another of your staff tend to him

he orders his usual but he leaves out his request for additional sugar cubes

it feels wrong for him to order it from someone that isn’t you

but you’re watching out of the corner of your eye as the worker mixes the bourbon, sugar and water, topping it with a few mint leaves and then sliding it across the counter for him

you let out a little sigh, half amused, when he takes a small sip and smacks his lips together at the bitterness

you take two sugar cubes and drop it unceremoniously into his pewter cup before you realise what you’re doing

yeosang immediately seizes the opportunity to talk to you

“my crew’s docked for the fortnight…” he waits to see if you’ll respond. you don’t, but you also don’t move away, so he continues. “we’re making some repairs to the hull and sails before our next raid”

you have half a mind to walk away after you reply, “i didn’t ask”

he forges on regardless

“we’re going to work with another crew for this one. it’s going to increase our chances of a successful raid because-”

your voice comes out a little harsher than you mean for it to when you hiss again, “i didn’t ask”

yeosang’s mouth closes as he pulls away slightly, back straightening

then he says in a softer voice, “i’ve been doing well. wooyoung still takes care of me, even though i’m not new to the crew anymore. i also saw my parents today and they’re happily retired now…”

you don’t stop him from talking this time

because how many sleepless nights have you spent sitting outside your tavern looking up at the stars; how many times have you served a mint julep to a patron and accidentally added sugar cubes; how many moments have you been consumed by the thought of him, simply wondering if he is living well?

this is everything that you have ever wanted - yeosang in the flesh letting you know that, yes, he has been well

but it is also everything that you have ever feared - that he has been well even without you

you don’t know what to feel

“my parents asked about you,” he says gingerly. “how have you been?”

his voice is barely audible, as if he is afraid of what you might say

or perhaps, afraid that you might not say anything at all

“good. excellent,” you force a small smile, your eyes still focused on the mint leaves floating in his drink. you don’t think you can look at him. “i own this place now”

his body loses its tension, cheeks rounding as he looks at you with genuine relief

“that’s…that’s really good to hear”

his words sting

you are unsure if it stings your ego or if it picks at the wound in the shape of the person you have lost

but it hurts to know that he has worried over you in the exact same way you have over him, the whole time you two have been apart

you’re suddenly overwhelmed by the realisation and hot tears well in your eyes almost immediately

your bottom lip starts to crumple so you rush into the back room to escape

“y/n!” yeosang calls out after you, alarmed

when you don’t stop, disappearing into the storage, he jolts up from his seat and follows

your body shudders with every heaving breath you take, unable to stop yourself from crying even harder when you feel him tug you into his chest

you try to pull away but his sturdy arms tighten around you

yeosang refuses to let you go once more

“i hate you,” you sob, struggling against his hold as you hit his chest weakly

he hushes comforts against the crown of your head, soothing noises as he endures your fists

“you have every reason to”

yeosang holds back tears of his own

he feels your body gradually losing its fight, sinking into his embrace instead, hands desperately holding him close

your voice is so impossibly small when you tearfully confess, “but i still love you”

“oh, mint leaf,” he brushes the stray locks of hair away from your face and cradles your jaw tenderly, “i still love you, too”

he presses a soft kiss against your forehead, pulling away once only to reaffirm, “so, so much”

when he kisses you again, his lips taste salty against your own, but nothing has ever tasted sweeter than this

your breath no longer stutters but the tears continue to run down your face because your heart finally feels right after all these years apart

and yet-

you pull away

“we can’t do this”

yeosang feels his heart shattering

“why not? i don’t understand,” he whimpers

“you know why,” you say distressingly, “my life is here, yeosang. i can’t just leave and return whenever i want. but you, on the other hand? you can. you go where your crew goes - you belong with them”

“but my heart belongs to you. please, y/n,” he begs

his arms are still wrapped around you and you feel his desperation as his fingers cling onto you like a lifeline

you look earnestly into his bloodshot eyes, your own vision blurry, “yeo, you’re not the one who gets left behind here. you’re not the one who waits weeks, months, years on end, just hoping that the next person to walk in is the person that you want to see”

he wants to plead that he waits to see you, too, but he knows that he’s the one who leaves, too

“you’re the right one for me - the only one for me - but it’s not the right time,” you tell him gently

slowly, his arms lower themselves from around you

“it wasn’t the right time then and it isn’t the right time now,” he repeats, “then when is the right time for us?”

you shoot the question right back at him, “when is the right time for someone whose life is to sail the world?”

neither of you know the answer

nobody does, because loving a pirate has no certainties

but yeosang doesn’t give up

“if we can’t ever be sure, why don’t we just make it the right time ourselves?”

you caress his cheek sweetly, and despite having stepped away from you earlier, he leans into your hand, starved of your loving touch and affection

“yeosang…what if we’ve already had it? what if…meeting each other was already it? what if we’re just meant to love from a distance, not side by side?” your voice is poignant but resolute

he brings up a hand to cover yours, still warm and tender against his wet cheek

how is it that he can be touching you yet simultaneously feel worlds apart from you

“okay,” he accepts with a whisper

if loving you silently is the only way he gets to love you, then he will choose it in a heartbeat over losing you entirely

he thumbs away the remainder of your tears

“can i kiss you? one last time?” he asks

you nod

“one last time”

your lips slowly meet, slotting together as they find their home in each other’s dips and curves

his hands cradle the small of your back and neck and your own hands rest against his chest

the kiss you share is steady, longing and bittersweet

it conveys everything that you want to say to each other, and even then, it is hardly enough

thank you

i’m sorry

i love you

goodbye…

you can feel your eyes burning up again, but you focus on the feeling of yeosang’s lips against yours instead

because you know that the moment one of you pulls away, that is it forever

in the world of love, there are people who are ill-fated

they meet the right person, but at the wrong time

and then there are people like you and yeosang

not ill-fated, but star-crossed lovers

the right person…

but just not meant to be

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