#attribute:hurt_sam(emotional)

[soulhusbands]

The rest of the day is business as usual, where "business" means whatever awful thing happened, we're going to pretend it didn't. Instead, they continue their research into the case that brought them to Colorado in the first place. Sam spends most of the day in front of his laptop. Lucifer continues to heckle him from the sidelines, but Sam finds that pushing his thumbnail into the tender skin of his wrist is usually enough to make him shut up. 

When that stops working he uses the tip of his pocketknife, until he feels Dean watching him and realizes he has pricked a series of notches that form a bloody circle around his wrist. Come lay bones on the alabaster stones by Caranfindel

- Sam & Dean - Mature - S7, canon divergent - Body horror, hallucinations, torture, Sam-centric - ~11.5k [more on pinboard]

[soulhusbands]

Because he can tell Dean is losing it, Sam tries harder and harder to keep it together. Doesn't mention the nights he spends awake, listening to his heart hammering away just under his ribs, the crawling sensation over his skin. The murmuring in his ears. The constant wondering.

One day, the wondering spills from his mouth before he can stop it. “Do you think I'm being punished?”

Dean doesn't answer.

When Sam wakes up one morning to silence, he curls into a ball and trembles.

- Deprivation by ratherastory

- Sam&Dean - General audience - Canon divergent - Physically hurt Sam, Sam losing one sense at a time, worried Dean, horror - ~2.3k [more on pinboard]