#avvy's JSHK

[2n2n]

So things are very changed now, so I was wondering, do you think it's possible for things to magically go back to the way they were before like Hanako-kun going back to being the 7 mystery and Tsukasa being his yorishiro? Or will this reality simply never exist again? So this means this could be tbhk's last arc, but it feels like there are still so many questions left unanswered 😢

I think you, and, other people panicking, really need to stop and take a breather, and remember how... stories work. How narratives operate.

even a mediocre and poorly planned shounen manga would typically not suddenly pivot in the middle and retcon everything! Do you think JSHK appears poorly-planned or made-up-on-the-spot? PERSONALLY, in my experience with AidaIro's works, they have a TON of integrity with regard to story themes and character motivations. Iro-sensei really, REALLY desires for readers to come to UNDERSTAND characters. Iro-sensei was a sobbing mess on the publication of JSHK, because they were scared people would not LIKE it, and thus, they would not get to continue to unfold the story. They LIKE their characters a LOT! They want you to UNDERSTAND Yugi Amane, Yugi Tsukasa, Yashiro Nene, etc etc!! Deeply, and truly!

While a lot of shounen are filled with nonsense-of-the-week and neverending organizations of dozens of villains showing up without connection or significance, I would argue that JSHK has none of that. We've been on the same exact journey from the very beginning: we want to understand Yugi Amane, and we want to save him.. .whatever that means.

You need to lean back in your chair and let AidaIro-sensei whisk you away! You need to trust that it will take time, but, that there are answers in AidaIro-sensei's notebooks to everything.

No, the story isn't ending right now! No, that reality is not gone!

To me, this kind of panic is like....

if Picture Perfect began, and you worried, "oh no, Hanako-kun is our villain now, we're fighting him, will he ever be our hero again?" or "oh no, we're stuck in a fake reality... will we ever go back to the real world?"

Or, if during the Severance, you worried, "oh no, the near and far shore have been severed, will we never get in-school shenanigans ever again?" "oh no, Aoi is dead for good..."

In reality, this arc-- like every arc-- is going to be a way for you and I to see new angles on the characters we love.

We already knew Yugi Amane created an aberrant future, and we were intrigued by the notion of school teacher Amane from the 'original' timeline. Finally, we are going to SEE that timeline. If we DIDN'T do this, we'd feel something was missing! Everyone has long been curious about THIS reality! We've been desperate, haven't we?? We've been wishing to understand this thing described in VOLUME 3. This isn't scary at all, it's satisfying!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! We're finally here!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

To have a fully rounded perspective on the Yugi twins, we need to see this world. For Nene-chan to truly understand HER Amane, she needs to grasp WHAT EXACTLY AMANE DID to CREATE the reality she has been in up until now. We're literally going to investigate the EXACT MOMENT that leads to "Hanako-kun", our lover lol. Until we know that, do we really know "Hanako-kun" at all?

Personally, I want Nene-chan to be INVOLVED in the CREATION of that reality we love. I want to know what role Tsukasa plays in all of it, too.

The reality we have been in was someone's choice! We won't understand the gravity and precision of that choice without seeing it FIRSTHAND. This is not a SCARY event, this is a RELIEVING event-- we will gain perspective!! Nobody should be afraid of that, seriously!

This is what we, the readers, want! And this is how AidaIro-sensei want to show it to us. Very directly!!

We're all very curious about the shinjuu, the Yugi twin's past. What if we could go to that moment, and SEE it? What if Nene-chan could witness it? What if she could set it into motion? These are the kinds of things to be potentially looking forward to.

The manga is called "Jibaku Shounen Hanako-kun". We would never do away with "Hanako-kun". That's self-evident!

[7ban-sama]

Hiiiii! I don’t think I’ve seen you musing about flowers in JSHK yet, and I would be interested to see your opinion on it! If you don’t mind Of course!!

Ah shucks, sure, though I'll go ahead and say... I haven't posted much about it on my own, because I'm not very confident about flower symbolism and such… Not my forte aha? I mostly rely on others being more educated on this. I think about it of course, but just doing a little disclaimer, I'm no expert, and I do not feel especially good at thinking in these terms. 6w6;

Both me and my wife rely on perusing this JP site, hananokotoba, to specifically get a read on interpretations/associations originating from Japan. I’m not really interested in any western concepts, because it’s… at least, LESS likely to be the use case. (Best to err on the side of caution and defer to the culture AidaIro-sensei actually are from, heh.)

I actually still feel quite proud of the research I did to assist my wife in identifying the flowers present in Chapter 100's celebratory illustration. You can read that post here. This involved me tunneling through JP listings for purchase, blog posts, articles, and pulling up image after image to compare orchids and make sure I could be as accurate as possible ww... the end result felt very satisfying. Well worth the efforts.

Though, to talk more broadly about it all... hm... I suppose the flowers I think the most about... are simply, Hanako's red camelias. Me and Avvy are constantly saying "the camellia of modest beauty" to one another, since that's what they're thought of as; simple, modest. It's so humble a flower, which I kind of love for our main boy. Alongside the name Amane, which has the first kanji for the world 'normal' (or 'ordinary', 'plain', 'regular'... futsuu...) And well, isn't he just the most normal looking little guy when he's in a white t-shirt. Just a boy. Meep. I imagine Amane has a sheer... underwhelming air, when alive, to the average person. Shrimpy, small and bug-eyed. Ooh. It's not the most flattering sounding... But I love that he simultaneously is mysterious, cool, dark and brooding, and maybe the craziest guy in the cast. (I think, at least. :3) Dual wielding so much here, right?

I think the tsubaki suits him, thusly! It's probably my favorite out of anyone's designated flower… (Though, my next favorite would be Nene being associated with strawberries & strawberry blossoms. Very cute for her! I love that they evoke a childish naivety... Playfulness. Oh, isn't she just...?)

The ah, other major thing about tsubaki though, are the associations with samurai. Since the entire flower falls all at once instead of petal by petal, it "beheads" itself... and, an aspect of seppuku would involve the samurai being beheaded, as an act of mercy, during the ritual. And well, we now know how Amane died... 9.9

Considering seppuku was often a matter of "taking responsibility" for one's actions, and the whole psyche surrounding shinjuu as well, I think this all checks out. Ah– we actually now also have the tidbit about yorishiro from Sakura — implicating that Amane's feelings for Tsukasa involved a sense of preciousness, a desire to protect. Considering how severe he is about it all in the modern day...

... it all makes sense, to me, that Amane's death completes the circle, with tsubaki's association with samurai.

(Small aside — but I'm always obsessed with how he phrases it, in the confrontation with Kou. "すごく特別" ; sugoku tokubetsu... I think of it more like, as if he was saying — an 'awfully' or 'terribly' special reason...)

This is all such a... ghoulish addition to everything, considering Amane is our 'jibaku shounen'. Self-destructing boy-! Bound to the school, with his life 'over', no longer allowed to enjoy himself frivolously. He is here, serving penance... He believes that he has no future, he's a dead-end, his existence is 'punishment'... and I'm sure he's really meant it, for the years he's been serving the mysteries as No. 7. Atoning guy-!!

So it really suits him... and-! I think that it contrasts Tsukasa, who evokes royal and holy imagery... Tsukasa, whose name kanji instead pulls from a word that means 'to rule', 'to be in charge', the one directing things... which of course goes with him orchestrating so many events in the manga. To me, the twins kind of have this... binary of, samurai and emperor. Servant, royalty... knight and princess lol.

This all makes me contemplative... I dwell a lot on the flow of 'power' between servant and ruler. One thinks of it as a very cut and dry, but mmm... Because we're talking about what it symbolically means for the Yugi, I think it's multi-layered. As much as our first impressions of their dynamic have been steadily unpacked, and it's obvious it's not as simple as Tsukasa being menacing and domineering to the wibbly, crying Amane. In relation to that — while the knight is subservient to the ruler, the ruler is reliant on the knight. It is the knight who is the one wielding the weapon and doing the protecting, after all. I like that, for them. Who owns who? It's a little bit of both, isn't it? (Kind of like how in the recent event, Amane goes from being Tsukasa's pet, to Tsukasa dressed up in kitty ears and a collar to match. So they ah... own each other......... lol.)

Related to this, in this retrospring, I've talked about what I think the mental state Amane was in while receiving injuries/rope burns from Tsukasa. While we can't know the exact details of the situation (the technical how, why), I'm pretty convinced that the emotional palette for Amane during this time is, a sense of dogged loyalty to Tsukasa. Duty bound... refusing to let anyone drive them apart. Forgiving everything... and choosing to stay.

... ah, but amidst all these loyal, noble feelings... still, a sense of possessiveness is there.

The nature of it all! So yeah... I think the samurai aspect adds a lot, and is quite decadent, to boot.

Smaller detail here, but also, I think sometimes the camellias are used to stand in place of Tsukasa's corpse, in certain illustrations? In particular, this promo for Chapter 71...

This one calls to mind the kind of possessive hold Aida has depicted with Amane in other instances, like with Nene's lifeless body during the Clock keepers arc, or this intense Picture Perfect boy holding Nene in the cover for Chapter 50. (Also, in a similar vein is Cult holding Lily's body in a coffin... Aida-sensei seems to love depicting covetous corpse hold...)

And then ah, in this illustration, the shapes below Amane, resemble the stylization of camellias as well...?

When I put these side by side... They look similar to me, at least. And we know that in this pose, Tsukasa is supposed to be pinned just below Amane. But of course — we can't see his expression or anything like that yet, so this is a way to obfuscate and tease...

It wouldn't surprise me, I guess, if the image of all these camellias held, was meant to harken to Tsukasa's murder (which is then tied to Amane's suicide and atonement.) It's not even the first time we've seen Amane possessively clutching something that symbolizes Tsukasa... So-! I think this is the case in these images, as well. I think AidaIro are trying to weave as much as they can, while preserving the mystique of the story, only fully unveiling the truth once the time comes. Until then, there's hints all throughout the manga, of the reality of the twins' relationship...! Treats, for the industrious fan. (As much as one could puzzle things like, the location of the twins stab wounds, from earlier illusts, for example. And everything we learned from Takasebune being in PP... etc etc.)

The implications, then, of an image this, are kind of, wonderful.

Hmm, the murder knife.. knife that murdered Tsukasa... cutting up strewn about camellia... hmm... incidentally this Tsukasa wearing an outfit that decks him out like a flower... Dwell on it, perhaps.........

Lastly, I like to think the ruffly ends of Nene's uniform are actually meant to evoke camellia petals. Hence, the bright red fabric beneath.

Hm, this one is probably the most... "wishful thinking"(?) thing here, but still. I think it'd be a cute, tasteful detail. Feels fitting, as we get Nene wearing red camellias on her kimono for Tanbata! ... as much as the twins wear each other's symbols of sun and moon during Tanabata!!! It all kind of 'completes' something, here. Our alignments...

These are all my most pressing thoughts, when it comes to flowers in JSHK. I hope any of this is interesting to read! I worry I got a little eccentric or off topic, but I figure-? I should try and explain what goes through my mind and what I value... to do more than just ah, regurgitate facts you can find anywhere. Aha. (｀∇´)

[only-lonely-lovers]

07.28.2022

Bird is あ / Avvy is つ

あ：yk while i dont think nene ever gets to see a cutscene play out quite like she envisioned (and nene is like, envisioning hanako embracing Tsukasa surrounded by sakura petals and being like "i always… wanted to tell you…. aishiteru zo." "amane…" / while the reality of amane not holding back is more like FUCK YOU TIL YOU DIE. *holding by throat*) i do think there are moments the twins are having an interaction that is enchanting. like watching two wild big cats start to groom each other. and nene feels like a photographer in the bushes holding her breath. witnessing hanako stiffly, quietly say "Tsukasa." to summon him over while overwhelmed during sex and beginning to nuzzle face to face, and watching them obsessively rub heads together bzzz… i think peak weird could be so endearing, like snuzz snuzz, tsukasa licks amane, amane gets emotional enough to lick back, feedback loop of licking each other's faces, rub rub inhaaaaale breathe against one another's neck.

and Nene is like f …. fuck…  dam… boyce…. maybe twin love is just special

つ：IT'S SO SPECIAL she would feel like her envisioning of it was in some way feeble, and rote. It is incredibly atypical…! its like expecting the courtship rituals of some rare exotic birds to be like dogs chasing eachother in the park. but it is in reality idiosyncratic beyond what she would ever observe naturally in school, or in some sort of TV drama.

あ： Humbling really… feeling like both Tsukasa and Hanako are such complicated individuals, that their cumulative love is ofc really unlike anything she could imagine

つ：you know we save hat-off Hanako for such emotionally intense moments….. we don't really have, hat off modern Tsukasas, do we…? just another I feel like aidairo is rly saving up…..

あ：true isnt it… it's such a 'reduced boy' state the 500 guns waiting to go off in JSHK

[2n2n]

bury it.

Amane can seem confusing, but he's consistent.

Something terribly shakes him up....

Maybe you think, "I wonder what Hanako will be like when we next see him!?! He was so freaked out last time!! it's going to be explosive!" .... but .... much of the time.... that doesn't happen.

he just buries it.

shaken, shaken...

...to surprisingly disaffected.

something upsetting....

...shrugged away.

The first Amane we'll see after something like the Hell of Mirrors....

...or after Picture Perfect....

.....I wonder what Amane could have been like, coming home, after a moment like this?

Amane....

[2n2n]

ch. 110

brutality, no survivors.... incredible suffering for the girlies (you, me, JP twitter)

and here I thought shenanigans would continue... this promo image was an immediate punch at 6AM

and yet this was all things considered the easy part...? ugh, but... please a moment to drink it in... all of my beliefs in the true power exchange... it's so satisfying to see it like this. it's easy, simple to still Tsukasa, isn't it... towering, presiding older brother.... his joudai trailing... touch your seal... the virtue by which you are kept safe, kept his. Poor Tsukasa. covetous object...!

a rascal....! uhh I love pocket-sanding Akane with old man parts ... amazing technique ahaha, Tsukasa knows how to make people lose focus huh? he's in such a good mood isn't he~ not as resentful as he was towards Mirai pestering him...

mirai explode lol.... I can't say I feel much personally, I guessed she might do this ... it's sweet of her to protect Akane, but I can't think much of it, beyond what it contributes to how we should feel about her. Noble rat after all? not so dumb as Akane had said before?

Mirai holding the yorishiro makes sense, for why she's typically locked in their boundary without any freedom. sure... easy. another key to haunt us! more keys why NOT

I like to see Natsuhiko being cool like this ... ♥

but this is so interesting...

I'm never sure how much Mitsuba really understood about the Broadcast club's greater plans... I wonder if Natsuhiko is being literal here, and Mitsuba DID know what he had to do, but had settled on his suicidal ennui.... ah, having to analyze your life for something precious is grim... he has an issue of not appreciating what he has while he has it, and being unable to state it...

.... and there's nobody to correct him. This is such a manga about... 'reasons'....

among the things even possible.. that poor keychain was destroyed. I wonder if there were a few things going on in Mitsuba's mind even then...

I really like... that mysteries, kaii need something anchoring them... I like that it's not enough, to exist... I like that the body naturally dilapidates, 'wants' to move on or become something else. It's a great metaphor....! In this manga... the most important thing, is loving something. If you don't love something, you can't stay alive. You won't....

I'm still wondering if the original thing Kou gave Mitsuba back in vol. 7 will ever come back around... or if it just gave him a complex or curiosity about the 'old' Mitsuba (who he snoops on in PP after this, so....) ... and can't itself be precious so much as worming...

anyhow... I like this turn of events, but it is so shocking we're stacking handling No. 3 and also No. 1!!!! I can't believe it!!!! IT'S ALL HAPPENINGGGG?????!?!? We haven't stacked mysteries like this before ~~!!!! It's so exciting.... I like Natsuhiko a lot in all of this ♥ I don't know... like with Tsukasa and Mitsuba, I believe him that he found it all charming in its own way, and that he wanted to offer what he could to Mitsuba for the timebeing. It's not as if there are other options, here... Mitsuba... really was never doing the things that needed to be done.... or letting others know what he needed to do.

I suppose Natsuhiko could wake up Kou to watch this if he wanted, but I find it much funnier if Kou just has to wake up at the end of this and Mitsuba is eradicated... lol...

can't say I really understand Teru's position about the mysteries...

you understand the mysteries are a kind of structural pillar for this region, but the pressure that was weighing on Hanako at least seemed to be the Minamoto ... it was that imperative the Broadcast Club's been taking advantage of. The rumors created an excuse to justify the sense of mistrust in the mysteries. But I'll never quite know what Teru is even capable of ... since he shouldn't be able to touch yorishiro ... but directly threatens to exorcize mysteries. Can you have extant yorishiro without the mysteries utilizing them.... ??? Well, I just don't understand it yet.... must put it aside.

back to what really matters...

I love how peaceful, relieved, serene he looks here.... finally, you've been so patient, Tsukasa... every little step of this has taken so long.... holding the last yorishiro in your hands... trusting Amane to handle you, after... it must feel good. The end in sight....

I really love this reach for Amane's knife...

back in this position, are we?

ah.... poor Amane. For a moment... I appreciate what he's trying to do, here. He sounds patient... he sounds like an older brother. Explaining so cleanly...

you want to be sure Tsukasa understands... maybe you think-- he hasn't thought this through, or he doesn't get the consequences, he's being childish, or reckless, maybe he's misunderstood how it happened before ... I love to hear Amane, say something so direct as... won't see you again.... won't be able to save you ... everything he did last time! to ensure... that you wouldn't be apart! the binding of their souls! tying Tsukasa down to him like a ship in a storm! protection, mooring... keeping you, where he can see you! remaining together, at all costs! that's important to you too, right, Tsukasa? don't you want to see each other?

it's as if you're saying you don't want to be together, don't want to be saved... what do we do with people who don't ask you to save them? why must they insist on leaving you behind?

Mitsuba won't ask Kou to save him. Sumire wouldn't ask Hakubo to save her. Aoi didn't want Akane to save her. I wonder if Tsukasa didn't ask Amane to save him, but Amane did it anyway... her certainly wasn't asking for a hero in the Red House, or to live on coming back.

it's a kind of rejection, isn't it? When someone is so ambivalent about the life you love so much... the life you want with them... it's as if they're saying, "I don't want to be with you enough to live for you."

Of course, every time, they're really saying ... "I just don't know what I mean to you." Mitsuba doesn't feel valuable to Kou; only a replacement, a reminder of something he once cared about. Best to give up. Sumire imagined Hakubo was only placating her, and could only wish not for his earnest sadness, but for him to pretend to be sad for her. Best to let death happen. and Aoi didn't feel Akane knew the real her, imagined he would reject the real Aoi, only in love with his grand projection of her. Best to step away now.

Of course, Tsukasa thought his brother hated him, so...

It all feels so simple and logical! It's saving trouble, right?

Amane made such a gesture last time... in their shinjuu... he tried, he really tried, to say something ... to Tsukasa.

but, the message didn't go through...

but I can only be so sympathetic to Amane, as he's an incredible hypocrite. Of course, Amane has put Nene-chan through everything Tsukasa puts him through.

You also try to grant your beloved a wish for a future that explicitly doesn't involve you, and make her feel rejected, abandoned, given no choice...

Amane...

oh, Yugi twins....

.... why can't you understand when you're precious? Why can't you understand how bad it hurts, to abandon somebody? Amane-chan really suffered without you, Tsukasa. You're always the one leaving him, and getting to feel sacrificial about it. He's trying to tie you down....

.... it's a natural response... to lash out. Rejected... misunderstood... abandoned... why is Tsukasa asking you to give up on him? Why can't he understand, even with that seal on his cheek... even as you died with him....

兄の思いは届かず…

I really love that for the chapter's end.

Amane's feelings never did reach Tsukasa. It wasn't understood, what he had tried to do, his sadness now. But... Amaneeeee....

maybe you could use a taste of your own medicine....

we think we know just how to make someone else's wish come true, don't we?

isn't it such an insult! WHY!!!!!! """"WHY""""""??????

..... I'm out of images, so I'll continue in a reblog, for a couple more thoughts I'm having ....

but for this post... ahhhh. It's unbelievable we're at least starting to tackle... this. I feel bad for Amane, I really do... I feel bad for Tsukasa, too. It's hard to not hurt someone you love ... in an attempt to only hurt yourself. If we hurt ourselves, we hurt the thing our lover adores ... we spit on their love for us.

I can understand why and how Amane can say "I hate you" ... to Tsukasa. As much as Akane could childishly say it to Aoi ... and you know, it is that same unimaginable love which makes it possible. Years of familiarity, it makes you more liable to lash out. There is such a greater sense of betrayal, when you've expended so much effort... when you try so hard for someone... when you're in so much pain about them....! After all I've done... you CAN'T say this or that to me.... etc, etc! Those intense emotions... can make you feel entitled, to never be hurt... you can't hurt me, after all I've hurt for you!

and I do think it's being said extremely childishly... daikirai... he's just, unable to be any more constructive with his feelings, he's so... hurt, mad. As much as Nene-chan is so mad, hearing Hanako spit on all of her efforts she made to reach him... BIG SLAP!!!

Amane, he's maybe endured 50 years of effort and an awful lot of physical suffering for Tsukasa, and it's not gotten through... wwww! I'm sorry, I'm worried Tsukasa might have a PROFOUND amount of suicidal urge. Might be an uphill battle, Amane... you might just need to save Tsukasa because you are selfish, and you want him for yourself. There might be no easier reason ... to keep him by your side. We can't make Tsukasa beg to stay with you... but you won't beg him to stay, will you? I think that would actually do a lot of good, Amane... but you really won't do that....

meanwhile, I love the juxtaposition of Nene-chan's incredibly childish DAI DAI DAISUKIII and this daikirai lol... we all have big feelings don't we lol....! well...

[2n2n]

I keep dwelling on our poor Amane...

I still am in shock... somehow, this whole time... it's just so impossibly miserable, Tsukasa's reality of simply never understanding the message or point of the shinjuu. This relieved smile, the end finally in reach....

Tsukasa, who can only ever think of 'disappearing' again and again...

the moments before Amane has a complete melt down, listening to this, and then seeing Tsukasa command Nene-chan to take responsibility in destroying every Yorishiro....

the culmination of this entire timeline, the FINAL BEATS of THIS UNIVERSE we've lived in for all of this time, were....

Amane's own MOUTH finally plainly, patiently trying to spell out Tsukasa's actions consequences to him....

those consequences are not, 'the fate of the boundaries' 'the fate of the world' 'the fate of existence'.

It's the threat of never seeing each other ever, ever again! All Amane dictates, if the Yorishiro are destroyed, is Tsukasa disappearing. Interestingly, in this moment, he's not even focused on Nene-chan's fate-- not that it's not deeply important to him, too, but-- Nene-chan already knows her life is precious to him, and that he's fighting to save it. The point he has to make to Tsukasa, is the consequence that occurs between them.

But does Tsukasa understand Amane's many years of fighting to keep them bound...?

I really, really thought that at least on some level, Tsukasa understood what it meant to be Amane's Yorishiro... the treasure at the center of his boundary, his protected & sacred object. He had to understand the shinjuu, the purpose of the act of killing Tsukasa and then himself, was in a desperate bid to keep them together, even in death.

I guess Amane thought that, too! We're right here with him!!

He's done so much, for so many years--! After all this time... it's an incredibly vulnerable moment for Amane to finally acknowledge his own efforts to Tsukasa, directly, to try to ask Tsukasa if he even understands the consequences of his actions.... it truly is the climax of this entire manga, to Hanako's entire existence as a mystery. The previous arc confirmed what a Yorishiro even is, and Tsukasa being Amane's, to prepare us for this devastating blow. The Seventh mystery's existence revolves around protecting his Yorishiro!

in one single expression, a casual word, every single hope in Amane is destroyed.....

it couldn't be a more simple & effortless rejection of everything! Tsukasa's suicidal tendencies are curiously ignorant & naive. Why does it matter if he disappears? He doesn't know why it would matter! IT'S AN INDOMINABLE BELIEF IN HIS UNIMPORTANCE!

Amane, why would it matter?

Tsukasa doesn't see himself disappearing as a consequence. It's a trivial aspect of granting your wish.

Why would you care if he disappeared?

all of this time, he never told Tsukasa anything! It's over 50 years of complete waste! Amane died for nothing! He didn't even die proving he loved Tsukasa more than anything, more than his own future. He didn't convey a single message! The 7th mystery's existence is a joke. Meaningless! You do all of that, and Tsukasa wants to jump into a hole again, just like he did at age 4. NOTHING HAS CHANGED.

what happens next... is so awful, but I do understand Amane's poor broken heart thrashing. Amane is an interesting person... I enjoy his pure black & white thinking. It's kind of moe of him... kind of cutely dramatic and extreme haha. And above all, it kind of preserves this... beautiful idea of Tsukasa, as someone who couldn't disappoint him....?

In a big way, I think Tsukasa is idealized by Amane..... I don't think he's rational about his little brother at all.

To step back for a second... I like that, at one point in time, it appears as if Amane utterly doubled down on 'Tsukasa is real, no matter what.'

Maybe to go on in life, Amane had to believe in that with his whole heart.

The gestures he made in the shinjuu, were in devotion to that belief. Tsukasa's purity of being. 'You ARE my little brother-- no matter what anyone says-- and I'll die to be with you forever.'

Now, Tsukasa is apparently utterly ignorant to his efforts, blind to Amane's aching love for him... Amane's response is essentially, "Tsukasa would never do that to me, Tsukasa WOULD understand"

"for you to hurt me this badly, you CAN'T be my Tsukasa"... that's the mindset Amane suddenly has. He can't handle anything else!!!

Somehow... it's better if some unknown monster tricked him, lied to him, if this person beneath him isn't Tsukasa at all. Never was. If it's a waste, better for it to be a complete and UTTER waste!!!!!!!

it's so terrible of him, but it's merely a childish tantrum. He's only hurt.

It's interesting that it doesn't hurt Tsukasa, at all, but Amane-- he obviously wants to hurt this Tsukasa....? He defensively wishes to say the most awful thing he can think of to... this monster. But if it's a monster, what would it care, Amane? If this isn't your little brother, why would it care about you stating the truth? Do you want to see it cry?

Tsukasa, for his mileage, I just don't think harsh or cruel words can ever hurt him. After all, he doesn't see himself as important, or imagine he has any value, at all. If Amane says 'I hate you', or insults him, or acts annoyed, it makes no difference to his fate. He already exists in a perpetual reality of trying to make himself disappear. It's not as if Amane can rob him of his will to live, or make him feel his existence is pointless. He has no will to live. He's always acting on that assumption. Amane cannot erode his belief in his value or make him cry about how much Amane hates him, because that's the only thing Tsukasa has ever believed was true.

There's a sort of excruciating discrepancy between the Yugi twins...

If Amane could hurt Tsukasa, he would probably be soothed, somehow, that his feelings matter to Tsukasa. But Tsukasa has always easily said, "or would you prefer if I disappear?" with a smile on his face, as if it's inconsequential. I'm entirely sure Amane's ideal world would be one where his frustration makes Tsukasa sob and beg for his love, acceptance, or forgiveness. Tsukasa, however, doesn't do that, because he doesn't feel he deserves Amane's love, apparently! He already accepts a world in which Amane doesn't love him, so Amane saying 'I hate you' won't make him cry, not ever. But to Amane, that makes it look like it doesn't matter if he hates Tsukasa! Which makes it seem like Tsukasa doesn't need his love, or need him...

I think in Amane's mind, Tsukasa is his pristine little brother... he won't accept a reality in which Tsukasa would reject his heart, in which Tsukasa didn't perceive his love.

....despite the words themselves, I think they come from a place of deep love. If Amane didn't love Tsukasa so much, he wouldn't care about his 'message' to him, and he wouldn't care about a 'fake'.

now whimsically I want to say... Amane is such a pained and agonized romantic with such immense issues with jealousy & possessiveness, I wonder how he dealt with the idea of some strange thing being housed in Tsukasa's heart?

I can understand 'complete and utter denial' as a means of coping with something too painful to accept. If Tsukasa is replaced, there's nothing left for you to love. And if something else has taken his heart, you can never have it.

If Amane ultimately stabbed Tsukasa in the heart, maybe he was trying to take something back, or claim his dominance over that territory.

Tsukasa, he's unfortunately quite reckless with that thing....

It's interesting, because Amane these days is such a doomer, you could almost think "ah, I see, he'll believe in the 'worst possible thing' now, and give up on Tsukasa's realness entirely."

But "this Tsukasa is and has always been a fake" is not actually the 'worst possible thing'!

The worst possible thing would be "This Tsukasa is real, and he never understood I love him, and he doesn't want to be with me" !! "Tsukasa never knew I loved him, he died believing I hated him" !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Amane is in fact still coping.....................................................

[2n2n]

ch. 113

I do have a serious family emergency going on IRL at the moment. But wouldn't you know it, the chapter is the day before I have to make a trip about it. So I can have a brief respite from scary & stressful things....

we see Amane at the 81st annual festival. Our current festival is the 113th. the Amane we see here would be ~27. (remember, Amane would be ~60 years old if he were alive in the 'present' of JSHK, which is 2015)

so, we finally see 1:1, precisely the boy in the 'corrected' timeline'

and he looks-- LIKE THIS??????????????????

in THIS timeline, Amane feels in-control, he's humming or whistling, he's pleased to hear Tsukasa's rumor play out???!?!????!?!??

WHAT DID YOU DO!!!!! WHAT DID YOU DO?!?!? what did you do--!! what did you do--!!!!!!! This is the last thing I expected for you, what, you're in a great mood. Your brother seems to be some sort of cursed school-bound ghost. A good day for you, Amane-sensei?!?!?!?!? What did you do!!!!!

In every timeline, Amane really is crazy! Amazing! Do you always manage some sort of control over Tsukasa's fate, no matter what!?

I DON'T KNOW, AIDAIRO-SENSEI!!! you were right, this month's Hanako-kun is unbearable!!!!

ah, was it that simple all along... lol. just keeping her informed... you not only kept Nene-chan in the dark unnecessarily and had to explain yourself twice, you also made us sit through 2 chapters for the basic run-down, Teru....

it's such an interesting situation....!

It would be impossible for just anyone to pinpoint even the year of the Clockkeeper's interference... let alone the exact altercation they interrupted. Someone would have to have quite intimate knowledge of, specifically the Yugi twins history, to even start looking.

And even so, you've also got to avoid the Clockkeepers just fixing it again, or nipping at you, right? I wonder if we'll have to essentially... go back, instigate events with the Yugi which result in our yorishiro Tsukasa ... and then ... peel the Clockkeeper's yorishiro, to de-power them, and usurp control for ourselves over the timeline? It's so hard to imagine a world where we can let the Clockkeepers remain in any power, if we want to have 'control' ....

but can Nene-chan peel yorishiro, anymore? I wonder if she would need to form a contract with someone else to be granted that right, in this world.... ♥..... well, getting ahead of ourselves... but that would be fun.... I think so, anyway....

so interesting! I wonder if, in this world, Akane even typically called her 'Ao-chan'? That's such an affectionate/familiar nickname.... it would be surprising from someone you're not super close with....

and the implication seems to be that Aoi and Teru have been more familiar SINCE childhood, not just now... so Akane's been completely booted in some capacity... if she's been referring to Teru in such a familiar way since childhood, this arrangement may have happened quite early on....

he was interrupted for a bit, but he does get to say it out loud in full here. I wonder if compulsively letting this slip will seed something in Aoi's mind....

I've always been worried about Teru's interest in Aoi, what with their families histories... I've worried it has less to do with legitimate interest and more to do with, I don't know... power levels, bloodline, maintaining something or correcting something... it just doesn't pass my smell test. An arranged marriage is very bad news!

I feel so dumb for missing this LOL!!!!!!!!!!

I'm sure our Ao-chan is on her way to remembering her true love....

briefly distracted by Tsutsu's tits....

noting the room number in case that becomes relevant later lol....

this is so extremely creepypasta vibes... AidaIro-sensei are in their creepypasta era right now....

UUUGH. IT'S SO EXCRUCIATINGLY EXCITING....

I saw someone joking that it's "like a gatcha", which Tsukasa are we going to get? Shosei-outfit boy? Summer uniform boy? Winter? 3 year old?????????????????????????? what Tsukasa is HERE?????? We don't even understand yet why our 'Amane' is in his winter uniform or called 'Hanako-san'! THIS TSUKASA COULD BE ANYTHIIIING--!!!

and a reminder that a 'rumor' is not necessarily a school Mystery (the confession tree was a rumor!)... mysteries are specific pillars of God appointed in some way into their position, with a yorishiro. Tsukasa could be a fully-fledged mystery, orrrrr he could be a weaker rumor!

EITHER WAY, WE'LL HAVE TO ASK HIM QUESTIONS, WON'T WE.........!!!!!! Come onnnnnnnnnnnnn Nene-chan!!!! I want to hear her summon Tsukasa just like she once did Hanako--!!!!!! RAAAHHH !! I want to know if he'd remember/recognize her or not...!!! UUUU

it's so crazy and exciting! AidaIro-sensei are too good at it all... I couldn't have ever imagined this Amane-sensei ah, smiling, crazily while girls summon his otouto to play....? why and how is Tsukasa a rumor... what happened to him in life to make his name famous... why is he in the modern-day more known than 'Amane' was..... ??? I'm scared for my life! Next month can never come fast enough....

[2n2n]

Can you explain more or less what the mysteries of time did exactly in this chapter? I honestly got confused

That's fair! Happy to talk about my interpretation of anything. Be aware anyone you ask a question to has their own bias-- it might be helpful to reread the manga from start to finish, to better understand an arc, or look for things that foreshadowed it. I think Iro-sensei is actually remarkably good at regularly summarizing & connecting events!!!!

To start though, I'll try to go pretty chronologically in 'things we know'....

we already know the timeline we've been in isn't 'right'. It does not match up with Tsuchigomori's bookstacks, meaning, events have been tampered with in a way that betrays fate. The Clockkeepers are likely aware of this, too, given their power also deals with chronology.

The Clockkeepers have been-- likely this whole time-- waiting for the inevitable opportunity to understand what is going on. By their nature, they are patient.

Since the Broadcast Club is procedurally going through every Mystery & their Yorishiro, eventually the conflict would come to their door. All they needed to do was wait.

As Kako says, "I am never late". For all of the chaos caused in the school, he's rarely in a rush to fix it, and seems to often allow unpleasant things to commence, without concern for the impact on individuals in that little timeline.

(aside, I wonder what he was thinking when Amane said this, in a previous Trial to concern the chaos before the Severance? Another situation wherein Kako was patient, biding his time, & disinterested in rushing to fix the chaos. This is typical for Kako, it would seem. Akane calls him twisted for a reason...)

So, the time finally comes for the Broadcast Club to target the Clockkeepers. Kako holds a trial in order to study the likely culprits, & narrow it down to a sensible explanation. Between Mystery no. 7, his kannagi, and his yorishiro, and I guess Minamoto Teru, whose family legacy is tied to the God, something is 'amiss', and can explain all of this disarray.

Kako has a pragmatic mind. He is indifferent to how many people suffer, apparently including his own body! He is not angry, he does not lash out at Tsukasa for ripping him or Mirai apart. He's waiting patiently to understand.

In a way, this 'trial' is only a staged event, for Kako to wait for a meaningful piece of information to 'click' everything into place. As Amane and Tsukasa quarrel, he finally has the reasonable explanation for EVERYTHING in this timeline going off the rails...

What is that reasonable explanation?

The timeline has been tampered with by a God-- someone who can apparently act outside of the typical boundaries of human & kaii.

The God appears to be .... a body of water, perhaps? Whatever the case, it is connected to a body of water at the pit of a cavern. Sacrifices were thrown down a pit to this God in Sumire & Hakubo's time.

The Minamoto clan personally governed the raising & managing of these sacrifices in ancient times, so it makes sense Kako had suspected Teru of involvement, hence his inclusion in the trial.

Nene-chan met the withered souls of the past Kannagi beneath the Red House, the Yugi twin's family home.

The Well God beneath the Yugi family home is the same God Sumire & Hakubo's village relied on for safety & protection. If you tuned out of Sumire & Hakubo's story (many did, finding it irrelevant...), go back & reread it all!!!!

which Tsukasa had bonded with & given voice to,

and became merged with Tsukasa, somehow, during his stay in the Red House-- a space outside of time. Something about Tsukasa is different, from all of the other kannagi thrown to the cavernous pit... despite that he intended to sacrifice himself for Amane.

Tsukasa became entangled with it...

Humans historically prayed to this God & made offerings to it. This God granted wishes for a price, just like Amane & Tsukasa do. Aida-sensei recently depicted people praying to Tsukasa in the house, mirroring how people prayed to the God.

Sumire explains the Well God thoroughly in her arc:

Nene-chan also outlines how the Mysteries are some sort of new, alternate solution to relying upon sending sacrifices to the Well God in the Severance:

(the Mysteries themselves meanwhile, are described as being Pillars of God,

and seem to channel their powers from a central God... destruction of the Yorishiro is described by Sakura as "returning the power (to their) original form".

It's possible the Mysteries borrow THE Well God's power using the Yorishiro system, so as the Mysteries are peeled, Tsukasa's God-self sucks it in. This means destroying EVERY Yorishiro, returns 100% of the power to the God-- eventually even unspooling Tsukasa [for some reason, it will also kill Nene-chan, which might mean she also contains a portion of the God, keeping her alive?]. But that's getting into theorizing... so I won't dwell But I kinda say this so you are less confused later?).

Kako, having identified the God's presence within Tsukasa, is now going to go back in time to 'correct' the irregularities.

We see Kako go back in time to the year before the Yugi twin's murder-suicide or as it's often referred to as, shinjuu (lover's suicide). He goes to 1968-- the Yugi died together in 1969.

The Clockkeepers are going to create a new, 'fixed' timeline. They know Tsukasa is housing a God in his body, & has since he was young. They will stop Tsukasa, somehow, from being able to skew events.

We don't know what the new world will be like, and neither does Akane.

Meanwhile... Akane does not actually trust the Clockkeepers:

It would appear as if Akane has instructed Teru to perform some kind of ritual on Nene-chan, perhaps as a failsafe?

Akane has placed his trust in Nene-chan in the past, so maybe he wants to have assets to pull on, in the event the new timeline is in some way, bad for himself or Aoi.

Akane hopes the 'new present' is a good one. He is waiting to see for himself what the Clockkeepers are doing, and if it is actually good for any of them, or only good for themselves.

We know that, typically, when the Clockkeepers tamper with time, they take the memories of those involved in the affairs:

However, at the end of this recent chapter, we see Nene-chan register time has changed, confused & startled by the sudden reset.

which likely means that someone has ENSURED she will retain her memories of the previous timeline. Probably Akane & Teru! Aoi meanwhile, is likely ignorant.

(HOWEVER, it's also possible Nene-chan's high spiritual power alone could enable her memory retention...? Kako mentions high spiritual power could effect such a thing in the first Clockkeeper's arc. Kou's spiritual power is weak, so he's likely to lose his memories, but we don't really have a grasp of Nene-chan's... other than, Teru himself is quite surprised by her ability to bless away the mass cursing in the 'Kegare' chapter)

So in summation:

Tsukasa is confirmed to contain the Well God. The Well God is confirmed to be the ancient God from Sumire & Hakubo's time. Tsukasa is seen by the Clockkeepers as responsible for the timeline we have spent this entire manga in. The entire circumstances of the timeline have NOW been altered by doing something to Tsukasa or Amane in 1968. We are possibly now inside the 'corrected' timeline. Akane is observing this new timeline for irregularities. Nene-chan is also now observing it.

Everything that just happened with the Big Clock, Mitsuba, the chaos in the school, has been undone.

What does that entail? It's my blog so now I can extrapolate for fun-- for FUN!!--

Tsukasa is the reason Mitsuba could even be a simple ghost, and meet Kou as one at all. Does he even exist in this timeline? Will Kou have his old memories? Or would Teru prefer him mindwiped? (Kou was more agreeable & loyal to him before meeting Hanako & Mitsuba, after all)...

If the shinjuu was stopped & Tsukasa alone was plucked somehow, is Amane even no. 7? Is he even dead?

Are we in the bookstacks-recorded timeline? Or is this another timeline? Will we see multiple different timelines as the Clockkeepers try different solutions, or just the one?

is it a good thing, to make it so the shinjuu never happened?

will we, the readers, LIKE IT? or will we be scared & upset, as everything we had observed up until this point is utterly erased?

will Nene-chan recognize this as BETTER? is it what she WANTS?

will we want our original timeline BACK?

Nene-chan once wanted this...

.... but can she confess to 'Hanako', or be with him at all, in this world? Hanako-kun was a mononoke from the 1960s. We don't even know what bizarre events transpired to turn a normal tragic boy into a mononoke, and a School Mystery at that. It's likely never been 'correct' that he be with Nene-chan. That they know each other as teens at all feels like not only a huge fluke, but perhaps an elaborate orchestration (perhaps by someone who wants them to be together, perhaps by someone who can see many timelines and wants Amane's happiness, yet doesn't believe they can personally be loved by Amane directly... perhaps someone who met Nene-chan long ago, 'before' all of this, & knew she could love him, in some sort of space outside of time... hmm... ).

Nene-chan and Hanako-kun bonded as Mystery & his Kannagi, tasked with correcting the rumors flung into chaos by the Broadcast Club. Those are the circumstances they fell in love under.

Isn't it so exciting? We're going to learn so many lessons!!!!!! It's time to be grateful for what we had, MAYBE!!!!

[2n2n]

close your eyes and

hear my secret

[2n2n]

ch. 111

the plot thickens and I am thrown all around the room as if in a hurricane... I really cannot predict Iro-sensei's plots!!!!!!

oh Amane, all of your efforts, your gestures.... what a desperate, helpless feeling

its the most predictable response Tsukasa would have, but it still hurts very very much.

he's reaaaally strange isn't he... he's like that....

oh Amane.... you're so reactive to perceived rejection and failure. You'll say the worst things, you'll think the worst things... you're sooo unstable, Amane!

What, you simply don't accept that your otouto would 'try to leave you'? I bet it's something like that. You "know he's fake" now because he "wouldn't do something like this to you"... that's my guess at your dumb little brain. Don't take him too seriously, okay, Tsutsu? Your brother just can't handle the sense of rejection of you choosing to die & leave him behind, or he can't handle that all his gestures and attempts to show his love fell so flat that you have no idea at all of his desperate love of you. Nooooo you have to be fake~~~ my real otouto would understand and he'd never leave me~~!!! I don't think you, Amane, understand how suicidal your real otouto was, and is, to this day! Would you believe it has less to do with disregarding you, and more to do with not believing in his own life's worth? No, you won't believe that, right... it's about you, instead! hahaha....

I'm glad I played AidaIro's Snow White game because... Estelio is THIS HURTFUL to Rasphard, and it's just out of a sense of being rejected!!! Estelio would kick his twin's goddamn corpse on the ground, let him wriggle and DIE in pain and AGONY if Estelio has the impression Rasphard wants nothing to do with him or isn't considering him ... LOL. Iro likes this kind of ... troubled, insecure, desperate, spiteful, needy person... you want the perfect brother, who loves you. You have that, but you can't understand the idea of someone choosing to leave you through death....

I wonder if Tsukasa started grabbing your jacket to move you to protect you.... meanwhile, Amane impulsively moved to protect his ~~~fake otouto, haha!

I wonder ... if Nene-chan has her memories because, she is magical etc, or if Akane actively made Teru do something to her to enable her to... stay as an aware asset, since he isn't completely sided with the Clockkeepers... maybe Akane is waiting to see what 'new future' comes to be, and seeding a few tricks to utilize if he doesn't agree or wishes to pull out? (I mean, if the Severance never happened, Aoi definitely would not be his girlfriend haha)...

The clockeeper's circumstance is interesting enough. Its very Aidairo-core. But not enough for me to talk about haha.

swag, I have been right the whole time! cool. yep!! of course. logical haha!! I can't be too proud of myself, it's been spelled out ...

that same old God~~ our Tsutsu!

the year before the murder, when the boys were 12... fuckin scary place to go to. What on Earth are you changing... the circumstances of the shinjuu?

if we're 'fixing' the 'problem', I wonder if that means we'll be going into the original timeline, where Amane would likely still be alive-- he'd just be an old man, and Nene-chan's teacher at Kamome. Wouldn't that be so funny and interesting? Lol. What would we all do if Amane was "Yugi-sensei" and like, old! It would be very AidaIro core AHAHAH ahhh the agegap fetish--! It's not enough to have Sumire x Hakubo and Yako x Misaki and Kako x Mirai and the entire Monstery Nursery AUs LOL you know, we need more ahahahaah (HanaNene is already technically biiig agegap! I would laugh if actually making Amane like 60 woke some people up flfjdklfdjk)

I'm just not sure... Amane could just be dead, I guess, and Tsukasa. Or he could be alive, and old. I have a vague theory that he must be a kaii because of, whatever he or Tsukasa had done together during the shinjuu... (maybe Amane was impulsed to eat some part of Tsukasa, maybe the God blessed Amane at the last second, etc etc)... it's hard to imagine Amane would be a school mystery-- Tsukasa is his yorishiro after all... and we don't quite know what circumstances make Sumire and Tsukasa into objects, if being sacrificed to the God had something essential to do with that...

Well, so interesting, I wonder if Nene-chan will have to go even further than she did in Picture Perfect-- in that arc, she had to choose to reject a seemingly perfect, but ultimately fabricated, world; even if it was 'nicer' than the 'real world'. Now, she might be shown a world fixed of its cracks-- it could even possibly be a world Amane never had to murder his brother, like she wanted before. Nene-chan is so often getting "what she asked for" in the wrong way, at the wrong time. She fell in love with "Hanako". Is the boy she fell in love with "here"? Is he in a form she can confess to?

Furthermore, she just bonded with Tsukasa, and has knowledge of the Red House... must be essential, to write that happening before this-- just before, even. Tsukasa even inspired her to need to free herself, even if Amane isn't there to save her.

Poor Nene-chan though-- so scary!!! What an awful situation to be in HAHAHA, flung around...

I have no idea what Mitsuba's situation will be, but Tsukasa is responsible for our "Mitsuba" to even be around. He wouldn't have even managed to become the ghost about the entryway without Tsukasa kaii-ifying him through his first, vague wish.

Well, it would be funny if these things were all true now:

-Amane is alive, but he's old lol -Aoi is not Akane's gf, and maybe that other timeline was the only goddamn way you could ever get her within reach lol -No Mitsuba To Speak Of lol

MUCH POSSIBLE, MUCH TO THINK ABOUT-- MAYBE I'M WRONG ABOUT IT ALL!!! Iro-sensei writes such interesting plot twists WOO ahahaha! I WONDER IF WE WILL INTERACT WITH 12 YEAR OLD TSUKASA AGAAAIN~~ pleaaase ~~

feeling more certain than ever that Tsukasa is The single most tragic member of this cast hahaha

[2n2n]

Tsukasa is such an interesting contrast to Amane... he is casual, talking about his living memories. It's amazing how easily he can turn and say this--! It's no secret. It's not something hard or painful to recall. He's not seeking to maintain mystery about himself, what he is, who he was. He seems so alive, saying something anyone could say. A boy who went to school...!

Amane desires so much distance from his living self, even the ancillary, meaningless preferences. So much effort to get him to say he likes a homemade, plain doughnut...

with Tsukasa, he's happy to reminisce on anything, at any moment!

memories...

memories....

Amane.... wants to keep his lives so detached. This tiny amount is most of what we get from him....

... but it's at a time when Nene-chan knows nothing of his life, and isn't aware this is a reference to memories so, so long passed.

We're lucky Tsukasa is willing to say things so easily, give us bits and pieces... and lead Nene-chan into bits and pieces.

Amane's decisions in Picture Perfect are... pathological. He's finally willing to reveal things like his living self's name and hobbies ... but under the greater guise of a massive lie, and tucked amidst a bunch of falsehoods. Just like Amane, right? If it weren't for the bookstacks + Nowhere, Nene-chan wouldn't know what was real in him.

Why did he want to be 'Yugi Amane' in Picture Perfect? Bare in mind that he didn't even know Nene-chan had acquired that full name from the bookstacks ... and Tsukasa had only uttered 'Amane' in front of her in volume 4 (and mind, she's unconscious for the Yugi's interactions in 7). As far as Amane knew, she didn't know his full name, until then.

I wonder if Amane wanted the littlest bit of reassurance, that Nene-chan would find his interests cool and attractive ... getting to finally have a context he can talk about space, show off his telescope know-how, be athletic... without having it 'really' be himself, without having it be 'Hanako' talking. Preserving the distance between 'Hanako' and 'Amane'..... and tucking 'Amane' within a fantasy world where he's everything he couldn't possibly be (sociable, friendly, normal), even when alive. He's an insecure, and needy person... I'm sure he would have liked the tiny victory of swooning Nene-chan with his real, actual hobbies ... which betrays his own belief systems. You're Amane, dummy... you wish she'd love Amane, don't you?

building your own circumstances to feel a strange kind of rejection...

(It's so interesting how neither fragments... neither Hanako nor Amane... are the 'full picture'. Both obfuscate and perform ... both hide in certain kinds of illusions. Sigh... Amane.... it's so hard to be your whole self, isn't it? It's too scary.)

The continuity of Tsukasa is so comical, by comparison. Not ashamed of himself, not forcing his existence into a dichotomy, not unrelating to himself, not needing a convoluted ruse to be Yugi Tsukasa. It's a little ironic when readers can quibble on if this is truly 'Tsukasa'.

[2n2n]

one can love Amane, deeply and truly and without end, and also enjoy to see him suffer. It's just so interesting. Why is he suffering? It's very mysterious. Amane can suffer so immensely and not tell you why or how. Amane unfortunately has made his pain very captivating by making it so obtuse. If you want to learn anything about him at all, you're going to have to make him feel pain, you know? He won't show anything otherwise. It's too easy for Amane to lie casually, but if he's upset, he will cry a lot, or get really mad, and he can't always hide that.

[2n2n]

DWELLING on it, that the point of the Clockkeeper's nonsense was to finally and miserably confirm, one after another

Tsukasa does not believe Amane would go out of his way to save him, does not believe Amane especially loves him.

Amane's goal has been to keep himself & Tsukasa together, and he had sought to 'save' him. That was what the yorishiro situation was.

Amane sees Tsukasa 'disappearing' over and over as CHOOSING to leave him! he is UPSET about it.

All things we have had varying degrees of certainty about...! I would say, at this point, it's been made obvious how Amane feels... but I could never pinpoint Tsukasa.

It's amazing these reveals happen back-to-back, to make you dwell on the Yugi's many angles of miscommunication ...

they clearly love each other deeply! But they don't have faith in the mutuality of it at all! No confidence that it is parallel, or reciprocal! They act on the assumption the other isn't in love, and could do without them, or desires to leave them behind. GOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[2n2n]

I'd like to think a little out loud about Amane's perception of Tsukasa's escape from his boundary, and his possible underlying emotional arc regarding Tsukasa... he's a difficult boy who doesn't talk about most of his feelings, particularly about Tsukasa... so all we can do for now, until he talks, is theorize. But let's go...

Before the shinjuu, Amane ominously speaks in metaphors about the moon, & believing in something being real, even if nobody else does. It's a pretty obvious allusion to Tsukasa. He also mentions forgiving something and someone, even if nobody else could understand or forgive them. Amane is devoted to Tsukasa-- that's the only way I can read this, personally.

Amane in a recent chapter, revealed that his intention with the shinjuu was to save Tsukasa, & allow them to remain together.

we have seen that... perhaps in Amane's boundary, Tsukasa was kept in a stasis, enshrined in sakura blossoms, dressed in his regalia.

Tsukasa could only escape this boundary with the help of Sakura. We know Sumire could not leave her boundary without assistance, either. We also recently hear Tsukasa talk about needing to create your own exit from prison, & Amane... not responding to his cries for help, at some point.

seeing Tsukasa like this makes Amane emotional. With this encounter, Tsukasa believes Amane is happy to see him.

Amane snaps violently & emotionally after this moment, slamming Nene-chan into the ground by her wrists, in much the way we expect him to treat Tsukasa. Was that gesture intended for Tsukasa? We don't quite know what it means, yet. We also don't know what expression Tsukasa sends towards Nene-chan before departing! Mysteries.

Amane is upset as the Mitsuba conflict ensues, & wants to know why Tsukasa is doing all of this-- and presumably, why he's gone through all of the trouble to escape the boundary Amane placed him in (for his own protection?)....

Tsukasa declares that he loved the moment Amane finally stopped holding back, & killed him.

Amane becomes ... overwhelmed, emotional, crying, vulnerable. I do not believe what he is feeling is fear of Tsukasa for being crazy or something, I believe what he is feeling is fear of being seen, fear of discussion & acknowledgement of his grand gesture, fear of addressing feelings he has (cowardly?) avoided (?) by keeping Tsukasa in stasis (?)....

Amane, in response to this, shuts down & doubles down on his bleak belief system: that it doesn't MATTER if Tsukasa loves him, it doesn't MATTER because things can't be DIFFERENT, as a ghost, things can't CHANGE. Whatever regrets he had in life, whatever he failed to achieve with Tsukasa, whatever future he wished for of them... cannot come to be.

Amane & Tsukasa have no future, & nothing can be changed.

Clockkeepers happens, & Amane again doubles down on his belief system, of a fixed fate. There is nothing he can do to save Nene-chan.

By the Hell of Mirrors, I believe Amane .... begins to 'play' with Tsukasa. I personally believe Hell of Mirrors is essentially Amane & Tsukasa messing with everybody-- with Mitsuba & Nene-chan as their respective clowns. Tsukasa has playfully taken the role of Amane's 'rival', despite actually doing everything in service to Amane's wish. Amane plays at being Tsukasa's 'rival' back, and the entire 'fight' is extremely unserious for the two of them...

Let's say, extrapolating, that Tsukasa was a very suicidal person by nature. Let's say, that he never had the will to live, willing to trade his life for Amane's as a child, & willing to come back, knowing his death at Amane's hands is inevitable.

WE now know, Tsukasa has ONLY COME BACK, NOW, this time, in order to once again OFFER HIMSELF as a sacrifice for AMANE'S WISH. However, Amane, at this point in the manga-- volume 7-- doesn't seem to know Tsukasa's plan.

I think at this point, Amane is curious. Tsukasa escaped, Tsukasa is doing a lot of things. Maybe he's doing more specific and involved things than he ever has. Maybe Amane is curious what Tsukasa really... wants to do. Why can't they both be out, messing around, playing?

I don't personally think Amane never quelled Tsukasa out of an inability to OR a fear of him-- we regularly see him thrash, grab, throttle, scream at Tsukasa, we also see him nonchalantly peel the cuddly & clingy Tsukasa off of him without issue. He very clearly isn't actually afraid of being hurt by Tsukasa, and he DEFINITELY isn't afraid of telling Tsukasa what to do! I think Amane ALLOWED Tsukasa this freedom Tsukasa was suddenly inexplicably fighting for.

Picture Perfect rolls around, & Amane & Tsukasa are now blatantly working together, rather than the sloppy & makeshift playsession of Hell of Mirrors. Tsukasa created a circumstance, Amane collaborates with him. The goal of Picture Perfect is to permanently freeze Nene-chan in a painting, to functionally imprison her.

What Amane attempts to do to Nene-chan is not unlike what he had done to Tsukasa, in his boundary. In the name of "keeping you safe" or "saving you", Amane usurps their will, seeks to overtake their autonomy. It's easy to understand why Tsukasa thought this solution might be appealing to Amane... if he wanted to, he could keep Nene-chan in a kind of blind stasis.

I think Nene-chan makes Amane reflect on this impulse of his. I think Amane is scared to see himself... take this sort of path, all over again, with a living girl... with a girl with so much passion, optimism, so much possibility for herself....

.... but I also honestly think... right now anyway... that Amane cannot trust Tsukasa to run his own life. That unlike Nene-chan, Tsukasa had no dream for his future, no wish to grow up, go to college, get married, etc. All he ever wanted was to see Amane, to learn about him, to see to it Amane had a happy future, or at least... had whatever he wanted, whatever that was.... even if what Amane wanted was to throw away his future.

Amane pivots into attempting to add life to Nene-chan's lifespan, something he couldn't have possibly done for Tsukasa.

Now.... I think a terrible sort of miscommunication, misunderstanding... occurs, here, at the far shore. It's still up in the air, but I want to do my best to propose the situation...

Here, Tsukasa once again affirms to Amane that he loved the shinjuu. Tsukasa, who gave up on his life multiple times-- who never seemed eager to live-- relates to Nene-chan's desire to die in the far shore, to forego her future, for Amane.

Tsukasa prods Amane to think about repeating his act of destruction, to once again erase Tsukasa's existence. Amane is seduced by the suggestion, for this moment. It is appealing to him, intoxicating.

Amane understands doing this, would mean dismembering Tsukasa with his own hands.

Tsukasa is surprised Amane apparently already 'knew' about this, had thought about it... even if in the back of his mind. Amane was destroying yorishiro this whole time. Why did he allow that? Perhaps... it was a self-destructive urge of a sort?

I think Tsukasa's glee, his acceptance, his urging for another dose, is.... something Amane is trying to understand.

At this point, I think Amane has every question in his heart: Did Tsukasa understand why Amane killed him? Did he understand the meaning of the gesture? Does he finally understand Amane's love for him? Amane threw away his entire future for Tsukasa. He was deeply devoted to him, & he attempted to show that devotion in the form of the shinjuu. Amane said something like, "if you have no future, then I won't, either. If you don't want to live, then I refuse to live on. I'm going to keep us together, forever; you can't ever leave me. I won't allow my self to have a future without you." with his actions. Amane can't say things with his words, typically. He is really... awful at words.

What could "do it right" mean? Amane was willing to just have Teru blast him to bits in the Far Shore, so obviously, he doesn't truly value his existence, even now. He is our self-destruction boy.

But perhaps Tsukasa and Amane could simply perform shinjuu pt2, but this time, Amane knows explicitly that Tsukasa loves it, loves him, & maybe even this time, Amane can be sure Tsukasa understands what it means, to sink into oblivion together. To not force it on Tsukasa this time-- but-- to have his consent, to both be self-aware, mutually. The commitment, the devotion he attempted to convey... Maybe!!!! MAYBE some tiny part of Amane THOUGHT that was what happened, in the Far Shore. Maybe he thought he could blast himself to oblivion with an elated, beloved Tsukasa who 'gets it', & save Nene-chan's life & future. Maybe HE could finally 'do it right'!

I think at this point... Amane doesn't know why Tsukasa is doing anything. But I don't think that is bleak, I think that is actually exciting.

There is so much left unsaid between them... I think, for a moment, Amane has a shred of hope, that he could learn something new about Tsukasa.... who he's been unable to understand, or do anything for. Tsukasa, who asks for nothing... Tsukasa, who only tries to die again & again, who can't seem to UNDERSTAND, SEE Amane's love for him. Who Amane can't communicate a thing to.

Buuut... I think this flicker of curiosity, hope, the dream of being seen, understood, of communicating together finally, is why Amane is now flipping out, deeply upset & distraught by Tsukasa's same insistence as ever in his own lack of value.

I think that is why Amane is snapping at Tsukasa, saying "I hate you". He feels like Tsukasa is rejecting him, won't let them be together... doesn't WANT to be together! Tsukasa is here, again seemingly only wanting to die, wanting to leave him BEHIND... this time! Is that "doing it right", actually? It's "right" to be separated? You can understand Amane's unbridled agony.... how it turns into pure anger.

Amane's feelings failed to reach his otouto!!! this whole time, I really think Amane feared that, more than anything.

His EXISTENCE-- AS HANAKO-- an existence HE ties exclusively to being with respect to his crime-- rendered meaningless! Confirmed to mean nothing! Tsukasa wants to disappear, and that's that.

The entire point of the shinjuu was missed! His gesture of devotion & love-- was nothing, the past decades enshrining him-- was nothing. Tsukasa thinks you hate him. He's thought you hate him this whole time. You're so cartoonishly far from sharing the beautiful consummation of a second shinjuu together.

You can understand then how the sense of rejection, being misunderstood, contorts in Amane's poor frenzied brain until it becomes his own violently-spat rejection-- "I get it now, you're not even REALLY my brother!!! You're fake!! My little brother wouldn't do this to me!!!! You're not my Tsukasa!!! you CAN'T be!!!"

a very pathetic & childish response to rejection. "You can't reject me-- you're not even REAL! You rejecting me doesn't even mean anything!!! I'll reject your entire existence!!!" oh, Amane....

You can understand how Tsukasa simply watches the response... I think the intensity of it is interesting.

For a boy who likely once doubled down so hard on Tsukasa's authenticity.... it's an extreme 180. It's just a response to pain.

I think.... maybe we now, next, will explore, "what if Amane didn't do the shinjuu at all? What if Tsukasa simply disappeared for good, & Amane was left behind?" in a new timeline. This rejection of Tsukasa is an intense culmination of everything thus far... Amane's built-up curiosity, hope, feeling baited & seduced into imagining something satisfying, only to fall flat on his face. This timeline showed us the insurmountable extent of Tsukasa's belief in his lack of value, a belief so strong Amane cannot pierce it, not even if Tsukasa awakens adorned in silk in a bed of sakura blossoms.

.... but I can't pity Amane too much, because I swear to GOD if you'd only SAY "I love you", he would understand that. I'm sorry Tsukasa can't understand your abstract poetic gestures, Amane!!!!!!!! LOOK, IT'S HARD FOR NENE-CHAN TO UNDERSTAND THEM AS WELL--!

But she's a romance-loving cumrotted girl, she's better at this than Tsutsu.... she can miraculously kind of see through the gestures like , trying to murder another girl for her sake. it's very impressive of Nene-chan... but I think Tsukasa-chan needs you to... like, say it, very directly, okay!! We can't do the indirect stuff!!! I promise your otouto loves you, if you'd only do something like actually beg him to stay with you!!!!! But Amane isn't honest enough to do thaaaat....

in any event, as always, it's very hypocritical of Amane, who continuously keeps trying to leave Nene-chan behind, which often makes her feel rejected or confused. Why is Hanako always trying to leave her?

well, because he believes she couldn't have a happy or fulfilling life with him, who can't offer her anything she wants.

I'm sure Tsukasa feels the same way, Amane! I don't know what he thinks he can do for you! Aren't you better off without him?

Please-- Nene-chan... you have to help them. She has to see how much Amane needs Tsukasa, for herself... then, even if the Yugi can't tell each other clearly, she can tell them herself.

[2n2n]

we must study the psychology of Nene-chan imagining Tsukasa sexy and hot for this scene. What could it mean?

she can and does imagine a not-sexyhot Amane or Tsukasa when shenanigans are afoot. It isn't as if her brain is permanently in shoujo romance mode... this is, actually the norm

.... but it does (charitably) become in that style when she's thinking a romantic or alluring thought...

hmmmmm

[2n2n]

ch 108

WEWWWWWW!!!!!!!! amazing times.

ghoul.... mmm... you look amazing honey

distractions

what is it with aida-sensei wwwww... if it's not Mokke running all around playing sillay little games in the BG it's a detail like this... well I love it very much

It's good to see Akane indict the Clockkeepers in some sense. The real threat indeed...

here we go AGAIN~

poor little songbird~~

it's the captive princesses ... Nene-chan.... I really adore you... you are pure of heart... you have to absorb and appreciate your scenery and role, don't you... it suits you. Unfortunately, even despite your intentions to do this secretly while he sleeps for some self-indulgent reason, I don't think Tsukasa can perceive your fetish, as he is too innocent. Now, you need to show it to Amane....

so kind of you to try to free you both at once, Nene-chan.... you really warmed up to him, didn't you?

N-Nene-chan animal theater.... I love when Aida-sensei does this so much!!!!!!

whore drawing...

but.. I really love to get to see a listless Tsukasa. I've been waiting forever... it's very cute that fatigue makes him depressive and unmotivated! I like that he's not trying at all and just laying down... Tsukasa strikes me as ah, not tolerant of bad stimuli...? the kind of boy who needs to keep his shirt untucked and his suspenders loose to the point of falling off... who can't tolerate a movie theater longterm. It's a charm point, part of this childishness... if he's bored, he just leaves ... if he's tired, he just lays down...

I'm so fascinated that his Tsueshiro are rendered inert, now. I couldn't imagine-- not when the general time power itself couldn't effect him like it did Amane... and, since Amane's Tsueshiro is operating perfectly normally, this means what happens to one doesn't touch the other...

Th-thank you for having beliefs like this, Nene-chan.... please, please think about how they are twins. It makes their minds special, doesn't it? Surely.

another instance to add to the list of 'Tsukasa having a surprising amount of faith in Nene-chan"! WELL-PLACED FAITH !!!! she's amazing isn't she....! this chapter....!

meanwhile.... a wrecking ball smashes into our minds...

what an incredibly intense bit of lore for the Yugi. I love how Tsukasa approaches 'facts'-- with a practical sense, without seeming morose or mired in what could seem a grim absolute. It's just like his delivery of, "Amane hates me" as his younger self.... Tsukasa doesn't lie to himself, doesn't pull away from what is true, but neither does he express resentment, or any expectation or wish for it to be any different. Amane is Amane. Tsukasa knows Amane. I really don't think Tsukasa imagines ... change ... in their dynamic, as much as Amane also struggles avidly with the idea of having anything 'new' as a ghost. I'm sure that is why Tsukasa is seemingly aiming for Amane to rip him asunder again....

He can't seem to be sad about what he doesn't have, because he just doesn't fathom having it in the first place. I... think that's, the purpose of, Nene-chan... to make Tsukasa consider what he doesn't have, or what could be had. Despite being the wish agent, I don't think Tsukasa wishes for much. I think Nene-chan does that for Amane too, of course... I think she's meant to give both the Yugi an impetus for seeing more. For wishing.

whatever part of Tsukasa may have mouthed Amane's name despite his own belief, he does seem to feel something profound....

you're acting tsun and fussy at a time like this.....

I hope Amane heard their entire exchange ... I imagine he would feel quite stubborn and fussy about what Tsukasa's so easily declared as a fact about him. I wonder how he feels about it.... "never come when called by you?"

I am sure every single second, feeling his weight accounted for and bared by Amane's body, is dreamlike. I doubt he can believe what he's feeling! For real.. Amane's arm! Carrying you! In equal measure to carrying Nene-chan!! THERE COULDN'T BE A BETTER MORE IDEAL PANEL FOR EXPRESSING AMANE'S LOVE FOR THE TWO--!!! these little GOONS!! also, this panel kind of gives you lewd thoughts

I'm sure.... if Amane showed up, Tsukasa expected Nene-chan to be plucked from his hands, and to continue to watch them pivot away to safety, while he falls down into the dark pit.. left to his own devices to figure out how to get out. He had to get out of Amane's boundary by himself, didn't he? and Tsukasa wouldn't be sad about it….! Really. It would be Amane being Amane, to him. He expects it, and it's fine. He loves Amane, anyway. He'd die for an Amane who he believes hates him. That's the kind of person Tsukasa is.

a moment to appreciate Tsukasa releasing his own hold on the edge of the cage, to catch Nene-chan...

A wonderful display. I don't think he thinks twice about it.... not a choice to plummet himself to oblivion, but an instinct. That's just like him, isn't it....?

I'll talk a little more about cages, crying for help, beseeching, at the end... because I have a few more thoughts about it!

ughhh save your princesses ♥♥♥♥ I can't believe you've threaded Tsukasa's bound arms around your neck.... ♥♥♥ God do I wish I could see it second by second....

you're making all my dreams come truuuueee Amaneeeeeehhhhh ♥♥♥♥ all three...!!! your two precious things....!!! ohhhhh our heroooo ♥♥♥♥ dashing in his cape.........

y-you remove Nene-chan's shackles but not Tsukasa's .......

if that is how you want me, master... wwwww

goobie woobie oobie baby Nene-chan in Hanako's arms. Hanako experiencing a new lolicon emotion. Ohhhhhhhhh sweet darling preciousness.... it's not so bad to experience a little bit of pain for such an incredible pleasure, right??

oh all this build up and sweating and shaking to say absolutely nothing in response is so incredibly Amane. She loves you just the way you are, thankfully.... we all do.....

I like DBS's TL of Tsu here better than the MangaUP actually AHAH... mangaUP did "good for you." which I think in ENGLISH carries a bitter connotation that I genuinely do not think Tsukasa has lol. He just talks in a naturally simple way lol.

god. Amane you'd love to get away with doing things with no commentary but unfortunately you have a funny little bug of a brother who is obsessed with you.... what an. amazing and perfect Yugi interaction. Amane obviously being pissy. extremely. Tsukasa keying into it. Amane lying blatantly but stubbornly doubling down anyway. Tsukasa continuing to ask like a little pest. Oouuuh. Boyce... brothers....

ohhh Tsu-chan... you can't... imagine.... the kinds of feelings... Amane has about that kiss... okay... he can't begin t o .. articulate ... any of it at all ... I'm sure he would honestly like it to be as simple as 'mad' ....

personally I enjoy that this makes it obvious it wasn't really Tsukasa's intention ... but I think it's cute to him Amane is still thinking about it despite all the circumstances and events lol.... I actually think Amane is being very charitable and maybe the best big brother he can manage to be here ............ I would give him a treat if I could ... not gonna yell at Tsukasa.... not gonna lash out rn.... contain it....

now I would like to say something funny lol. Tsukasa's line here is actually incredibly ambiguous:

he doesn't actually make reference to Nene-chan, it's like " Amane kiss also?" in that casually threadbare way JP can be ... it means the fujoshi are free to interpret "he's pointing to himself, is he referring to Amane kissing him?" playfully aahahahaa... I'm sad its hard to preserve that kind of ambiguous way of phrasing something!!! it's sad that kind of "wait what did he mean" funny discussion can't happen here, mangaUP also just had him directly refer to kissing Nene-chan.... I'm SUUUUURE it's 'meant that way' but, like, I love when coach lets the girlies play....!!!! they are loving this panel.... its way funnier vague .... Amane ? kiss ? too ? wwwww

AN AMAZING EVENT!!!!

LOVE to see Amane THROWING Nene-chan into Tsukasa's arms, Tsukasa dutifully catching her carefully, Amane trusting he will catch her...!!!! Well I have to say it... it's been funny watching the fandom predict a lot of animosity and hatred in all directions that just isn't there ahahaha. All these expectations for Amane to punch and maim Tsukasa in jealous rage, and instead, you have him relying on his brother to help protect her, and trying to graciously handle the situation. The Yugi... they always surprise you by how familiar they really are...

I'm in love with every time Amane seamlessly commands Tsukasa by saying his name... ♥♥♥ look at him, being such a useful otouto even though Amane hasn't granted him the use of his arms back, and the spell making him fatigued... ♥♥♥ even with a ball and chain on his ankle, Tsukasa can run for Nene-chan...!!

I don't have many profound feelings about Teru and Akane lol, they are just very funny to me-- ultimately neither's alliance is truly with one another, despite that I do believe Akane is one of the only people Teru is his true self around. A complicated closeness which is easily broken .... Akane would kill Teru for Aoi, Teru would kill Akane for his little siblings, these are things I think of as fact. It's such a tenuous bond and, they are mutually aware ... but kind of, struggle with betrayal and reliance and trust and dependence on one another's skills and support. I like how KILL TRAIN Teru is here lol. He's got plenty pent up concerning Akane ... unlike Kou, I think Teru is much more capable of "when push comes to shove..." and suspending empathy or compassion ... even if he could later hold remorse. Crazy Minamoto conditioning and such ...

Interested in the greater machinations and Akane's vagueries, but I don't have thoughts about them. Happy to wait for more (:

stupid ... uke .....

--pomf-- ooo get humped idiot

A FEW EXTRA THOUGHTS ...! pertaining to.... Tsukasa's ominous statement, that Amane would not come if he called... that he "never has before"

what a tantalizing thing to say. When, at what point in time? It conjures the image of a Tsukasa pleading for Amane-- something I'm sure many of us, can't even imagine. I haven't thought of a begging Tsukasa, wanting to be saved. He is so typically 'fine' where he is, even if that circumstance is unpleasant.... even at age 4. In a normal situation, it's hard to imagine Tsukasa calling for help from Amane ... and it's hard to imagine Amane, that sweet older brother, not simply sheltering him. He's sweet to Tsukasa, at 4. He's happy to read to him, and tries to put on a calm front for him while so ill, so as not to worry him. Amane cared about Tsukasa, of course! He's even charmed by the Tsukasa absorbed in katanuki for hours at 8. Wouldn't that Amane come running if called? .... but would that Tsukasa cry out for him .... ?

So.....

when, how? The only Tsukasa we've seen a glimpse of post-ghosting is the coffin boy, who appears quite inert and dead. He certainly can't call for Amane. The Tsukasa at the start of this series, struggled to even get used to moving at all. Is there a stage we don't know about?

How much could Tsukasa call him with no answer, until he ultimately concludes it simply will never be replied to? Why would he think that it is specifically himself Amane won't respond to? Only doing something once or twice, wouldn't create conviction like that. In order to say something like, "this person never ____", you would think there would be extraneous circumstances that proved ... beyond a shadow of doubt ... that it simply is the way things are. Tsukasa is so shocked to see Amane appear, and save him ... that belief has to be rooted in something Tsukasa took to heart.

Perhaps something happened when they were alive .... we really don't know what that final year was like.

Whatever the case... Amane does love Tsukasa-- unlike Tsukasa, we have the benefit of knowing this completely! In our hearts! There are circumstances where, because Amane loves you, and wants to protect you, he ignores your cries....

I wonder when, why, how... Amane wouldn't come when Tsukasa finally called. I wonder why Tsukasa would call for him ....

Honestly, if Amane didn't love Tsukasa, the possibilities wouldn't be so scary. They are much more haunting, knowing how much he loves his little brother. I can't wait to learn more about Amane!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I want to see the Tsukasa pleading for his brother!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I wonder how hopeless we have had to get .... !