#babygirl and goldenboy

[dragonmuse]

(I asked who I could give my hangover this morning to and the votes where:

@whatcantheharvesthopefor Eddy? …..Maybe Lucius depending on how exciting brunch was? …. oh!! See definitely The Swede after forgetting that coffee liquor ACTUALLY has alcohol in it & serving massive pitcher to the leadership team in a meeting….

@beautifulurbanarchitecture Lucius realizing he's not as young as he once was

why not both! This takes place closer to I Want to Sink to the Bottom in the timeline)

“I’m going to literally murder him,” Lucius moaned from the floor. He’d landed there in a kind of sodden thump after waking up on the velvet couch, its furry fabric having left an imprint on his cheek. 

“It did taste suspiciously good,” Stede was already at the kitchen table, but he was flattened against the surface, his mug of tea pressed against his forehead. 

“Stop yelling,” Eddy demanded. They had been coming down the stairs, but had stopped midway and were now just sitting on one step, looking queasy. 

“Ugh, where’s my husband?” Lucius muttered. 

Pete emerged from the downstairs bathroom a minute later, face damp and shirt missing. 

“Babe,” Pete said emphatically. “I think I just threw up my toenails.” 

“Please don’t say anything else,” Stede moaned. “I’m barely holding on as it is. What did he put in there?” 

“Forensic analysis suggests enough Kahlua, whiskey, and espresso-flavored vodka to fell stronger men than us,” Lucius said from the floor. 

Stede had decided that rather than be roped into judging the regional competition, the Revenge could start their own more local one with an emphasis on the talent portion of things. Last night had been the first planning meeting. Or would’ve been if the Swede hadn’t taken some creative liberties with the ‘perk up’ beverage.

It’d been pretty clear after the first round that the sweet concoction was fairly alcoholic, but combined with the late hour and the heated debate over how the competition should be structured, they’d all gone a second round. 

It should’ve just been Lucius, Eddy and Stede, but Pete had stuck around, unwilling to abandon Lucius for the night and also having an almost pathological need to offer advice for things he had almost no context for (he’d proudly never entered a pageant, dear man).  Also he kept topping up their mugs. 

“Who taught him to make Irish Coffee?” Eddy asked the room at large in a very accusatory manner. 

“You know it was me,” Lucius groaned. “But I didn’t teach him to make it so you didn’t know it was a weapon.” 

“I think I might just die,” Stede said speculatively. “Sorry, love, but you get the apartment and the bar.” 

“I don’t want it,” Eddy groaned. “We’ll just climb into the same grave.” 

“Dark,” Pete said brightly. “Babe, you want some alka-seltzar or something?” 

“Yes,” Lucius rolled over onto his side. “And to be twenty again. Please.” 

“I can do one of those things,” Pete laughed. 

“How are you so happy?” Eddy demanded. 

“Eh, once I vomit, I usually bounce back pretty fast. Anyone else want drug store cures?” 

“Does it work?” Stede mumbled. 

“Yes.” Lucius pushed up onto all fours, rocked there for a second then staggered to his feet. “Fuck.” 

“Good job,” Pete kissed his shoulder. “I’ll be back in ten, the pharmacy on the corner is probably open.” 

“Kay, thanks.” 

Lucius made it to the bathroom. It was touch and go, but his stomach settled without rebelling. He emptied his bladder, splashed water on his face, then accessed himself in the mirror. 

Then he ducked his head around the bathroom door, 

“Uh, I don’t want to alarm anyone, but I think one of you gave me a hickey last night,” Lucius informed them. 

Eddy glared at him from the steps, “Yeah, your fucking husband probably.” 

“Yeah, no. Pete was out of makeup and I’ve got like a fuck ton of red lipstick on my neck.” 

“I was wearing pink, I think,” Stede ventured, pushing up from the table to blink owlishly at Eddy. “Right?” 

“I don’t fucking know,” Lucius groaned “You’re lucky I remember my name.” 

Eddy looked sightless into the void and then made a soft protesting sound, “Oh nooooo....” 

“You have sharp teeth, m’am,” Lucius informed her.

“Why?” they buried their face in their hands.

“Oh!” Stede blinked. “I remember! I think you bit him to make him stop talking.” 

“Hey!” Lucius protested. “...did you?”

“I...may have? It sounds familiar.” 

The triangle of conversation froze up for a minute, then Lucius began to laugh with a manic desperation. 

“What?” Stede stared at him. “It’s fine, you know. I mean, weird, but probably fine.” 

“Yeah, it doesn’t mean anything except the Swede is getting fired,” Eddy waved it away. 

“No...no, I am seeing Iz in like four hours,” Lucius said through gasps of laughter. “Do you think he’ll know?” 

“Oh fuuuuuuck,” Eddy lay backwards on the stairs. “Welp, there goes years of trying to repair our friendship. Forget firing him, I’m going to just murder the Swede.” 

“Lucius could lie?” Stede suggested, taking a sip of his tea than wincing.  

“How dare you suggest such a thing,” Lucius gasped. “Dishonor on your cow!” 

“My what?” 

“Maybe you should just call Izzy now and he can put me out of my fucking misery,” Eddy said speculatively to the ceiling. “That’d be okay. Kind of top of the list on how I want to go out anyway.” 

“Murdered?” Stede frowned. “Why?” 

“Eh, I always figured one of us would kill the other at some point. Granted, I thought we’d tabled that after we stopped carrying guns all the time, but hey, bring back the classics.” 

“You two are so fucked up,” Lucius said lightly. “Nah, it’ll be cool.” 

“Will it?” Stede asked.

“Yeah, no probably not, but we’ll work it out.” 

Pete returned as Lucius was finally having a cup of coffee. He had a bag from the pharmacy and a bit white paper bag. 

“Bagels,”  he explained. 

Everyone let out a ragged cheer. 

“Babe,” Lucius took a warm plain bagel, forwent spread and just took a bite. “Eddy gave me a hickey.” 

“Is that what happened?” Pete studied it. “Uh...you want me tell Izzy you’re too hungover to see him?” 

“For what? A month?” Lucius wrinkled his nose. “This thing is massive. Eddy why are your teeth so goddamn pointy? Were you trying to feed off my life force or something?” 

“I don’t remember!” Eddy protested, layering on cream cheese like their life depended on it. “I can’t be held accountable for this, I was drugged by a soon-to-be-dead Scandinavian” 

“You told them to go harder, Lucius. Something like 'is that supposed to tickle'. ” Stede pulled out an everything bagel, seeds flying everywhere. “I think you two were just egging each other on.” 

“That sounds upsettingly plausible,” Lucius grumbled. 

Food consumed, alka-seltzer drunk and humanity somewhat restored, Lucius and Pete made their way home, leaving Eddy and Stede to return to bed.  Pete and Lucius showered together, propping each other up for the most part. A nap and then one of John’s epic grilled cheeses got Lucius mostly to normal, just in time to go across town. 

He decided not to cover up the hickey. It would only make it more obvious anyway. 

Of course, Izzy zeroed in on it as soon as Lucius got into the apartment. Izzy was laying out on the couch, Sweeney on his chest when he walked in. 

“Who the fuck happened to you?” Izzy asked, tossing aside his reading glasses. 

“The Swede got us all very drunk,” Lucius crossed to him and for once, he was the one that went to his knees. “Please don’t be insane about this.” 

“....about what?” Izzy’s eyes narrowed. “What did you do?” 

“Nothing! Probably, it’s a little hazy,” he admitted. “Uh. Eddy. Eddy happened to me. I think in some kind competitive way? I have no idea.” 

Izzy stared at him, then turned on his side, dislodging the cat, who sauntered off as if leaving had been his idea. Delicate fingers swept over the purple and red nightmare of a mark. 

“You let Eddy touch you?” 

“Apparently? I was very drunk. I’m...sorry? I guess. I don’t know if this is an apology situation,” he sighed. 

“Pup...” Izzy paused and Lucius considered running for the hills. Then Izzy started to laugh. “Only you, pup, only you.” 

“Hey,” Lucius grinned, relief coursing through him. “C’mon, that’s not true.” 

“It is,” Izzy laughed harder, resting his forehead against Lucius’. “You know this is your fucking fault somehow. I wasn’t even there and I know that.” 

“Yeah, probably,” Lucius laughed with him. “It hurts like a bitch, they’re really a biter.” 

“Yep,” Izzy pressed his palm against the mark gently. “You want some witch hazel?” 

“Later. Right now, I just really want to suck your dick.” 

“Yeah?” Izzy’s laugh cut off abruptly. 

“Oh yeah,” Lucius shoved him back down onto the couch. “You know you laughing is a huge turn on for me. Fuck, it’s good. Stay down.” 

And if it was also a reward for reasonable behavior, that went unspoken. The mark really did take a week to heal and it was kind of worth not covering it up to see Eddy get squirmy and uncomfortable every time she spotted it.

[kimgeas]

Okay so, I saw someone on twitter the other day said that ofc Izzy would fall for Frenchie since Frenchie is basically young Ed but emotionally stable (kinda). Then I have to say ouizzy under kraken Ed is just goldenboy reimagined.

Like this show is all about fucking parallels (even when half of them in S2 hold no points) so we must catch up with the spirit here, like Ed made Frenchie watch when he cut off that third toe or something.

(Okay to be fair, he didn't MAKE make him watch, but he also didn't give him a chance to slip off so, here we are.)

I think Izzy must be accustomed to this from his hornigold era, but since Frenchie's like, 20-smth-year younger so it added some new extra flavor of humiliation there and he died a little (a LOT) inside. Fortunately for him! He was quick to spiral into some ptsd flashback delirium (with the help of a little fever from infection) and could not tell when's when.

Or who's who. So he might have called out the wrong person a few times. But luckily, it's either 'Captain' or 'Ed', so it didn't matter it's not the right captain. or Ed. Ed was not finding out anyway.

But Frenchie definitely did, cuz Izzy's like suddenly, super fucking obedient and shit, like his mannerism was all off. ALL different. And Frenchie was deeply unsettled by it. But also, he's never seen Izzy like this before so he's kinda–I wouldn't say turned on, cuz our babygirl here is a good boy–he was kinda INTRIGUED. Like a Bard would when they sense a good tale. So he got all sorts of scenes and plots going on in his head.

When it's all over. They were fucking off together. Izzy passed out almost soon as they exited the captain cabin. And Frenchie carried him back to his bunk, cleaning his wound and all that. After, he sat on Izzy's side, dugged up his lute, and starting to play a quiet little song of the goldenboy tale (that he imagined them to be).

But in Izzy's fever dream. Izzy felt like it's Ed who's taking care of him. Young Ed from back in the days, with blurred, indistinguishable lyrics playing in the background.

And you know how a sailor would view it when he heard fucking melody while in a post blood loss turmoil. He thought he heard siren. Death call. Hell's gate. Whatever name that is.

And so he let himself drift, away into dreaming, peacefully for once in a very long time. In this cradle of his siren's music.

[girlcavalcanti]

I just started reading metropolis [the book by thea von harbou] and i can already tell it's going to be a hell of a ride because I'm one (one.) page in and so far we have my babygirl freder playing an organ on fire in the middle of the ocean throwing his head back and crying and howling in despair at the zodiac and at the stars that are busy dancing their solemn mighty dance above him with the imagine of maria fireprinted in his goldenboy retinas because he can't handle this anymore, also there's a birb that's uttering a mournful cry (no bird which ever lived could have mourned so agonisingly)

[worldtravelergurl]

He turned 1 year old😍

[dragonmuse]

A while ago you wrote about izzy dealing with PTSD and how lucius reacts with it, but does eddy deal with similar things, and if so I would love a ficlet of her and stede in a similar vein as the Lucius izzy one.

(hi anon, I hope you still follow me cause this is from August and yes, Izzy dealing with PTSD was all the way back in chapter 67 of More to the Story.)

It was, Stede thought to himself, cliche to say it was a dark and stormy night, but cliches were cliches because sometimes things happened over and over. There must’ve been a thousand dark and stormy nights in human history and tonight just happened to be one of them. He had a good umbrella at least, pressed against the bluster, but he was getting damp and the cold got into places.

He was already daydreaming about getting into the house to find Eddy tucked up on the couch. Just the vision of them under a blanket, hair gathered up off their face in the lamp light was enough to warm him a little.

Dinner was in a plastic bag, and he brought it closer to his chest to protect the contents from the rain. A warm night with his spouse with plenty of good hot food for dinner. What more could he ask for?

But there was no warm lamplight when he came in. The whole first floor was dark as if she’d never been home at all. He might even think that if he hadn’t kissed her goodbye on his way out, the two of them passing like ships in the night as she returned from her own errands. Their boots were still at the bench and it was unlikely they’d trade shoes on such a night.

Stede took off his own loafers, turning on the light to set the bag down in the kitchen.

“Honey?” He called.

No response. Hm. He headed upstairs, already shrugging out of his damp things. He would text once he was changed and was less likely to trail water over his phone screen.

Their bedroom and closets were dark, his office door firmly shut. Stede changed into flannel pajama pants and one of Eddy’s t-shirts, the neck stretched out with repeated annoyed tugs until it was only fit for this service. He was just about to go downstairs, when he thought he heard something small, something barely there under the raucous wind.

He forced himself to be still. Eddy had taught him this trick, though she’d explained with a lot of frowning and gesturing and it had taken him a while to get a hang of it. She called it ‘deep listening’ and Stede thought of it more as ‘mindfulness of the moment’. Eddy had mentioned once that Izzy referred to it as ‘testing the quality of silence’ which seemed oddly poetical of a man not prone to it.

Whatever the case, Stede quieted himself and listened.

Yes. Someone was here. Close by, even. The bathroom, he decided after another heartbeat or two. He should’ve thought of that first. Eddy often went to the bathroom first when there was something on her mind. He knocked, waited and got no response, but when he tried the handle, he found that it hadn’t even been pulled all the way closed, let alone locked.

She was sitting in the enormous bathtub, fully clothed and no water flowing. When he walked across the floor, her head turned fractionally to watch his progress though her expression was empty. He kneeled down beside the tub, cushioned by the thick bathmat.

“What happened?”

Eddy rested her head on the side of the tub without answer.

“All right,” Stede folded his arms on the lip and rested his chin on them. “Shall I tell you about my day?”

She said nothing, but her eyes were on him, so he started talking. All his life it seemed people had wanted him to just stop talking. Ideally, also, to leave. While these days, the list of people that would actually listen had grown, Eddy was still the first one. More than anyone else, she sought out his words. They asked for them.

“-and then I was standing there in the grocery store and I realized I had absolutely no idea what I’d come in for. I had your favorite honey and a dozen other things that caught my eye, including some raspberries they looked very ripe we should have those with dessert. I really should’ve made a list. I did go to the pharmacy, but your prescription wasn’t ready yet. Tomorrow, apparently. It’s on my way to my barber and I have a haircut so that’ll be fine. If they don’t have it then, we really should consider switching though.”

“I like them better,” Eddy practically whispered. “The last place was shitty.”

“I know, love,” Stede acknowledged. “Maybe I can ask around a little. Figure out a safer place that’s also more timely.”

“All right,” Eddy shifted, bringing her face close to his, cheek resting against cheek. He put his hand to the back of her head, not gripping, just gently cupping, keeping her close.

“Then I texted you about dinner and you told me what you wanted. It’s downstairs when you’re ready.”

“Kay,” she didn’t move.

“I talked to Alma today for a few minutes,” he offered, his last card in his hand.

“Something wrong?”

“No,no. She’s writing an essay on Dickens and apparently she loathes him and was hoping I might have some insight. Mary told her to call me as apparently Mary and Doug managed not to read him at all.”

“What’d you tell her?”

“That I also didn’t have any particular love for his writing, but that one could never go wrong talking about the plight of orphans in Victorian England. We should probably both be prepared for a veritable dissertation on the workhouse next time she’s here.”

“Okay, don’t tell me anything. Let her.”

“Will do,” Stede rubbed his cheek against hers slowly. He was stubbly, but she didn’t seem to mind. “Ready to come out of the tub, dear heart?”

“Yeah, think so.”

Stede stood and offered her both his hands. They took them and rose out. Their feet were bare, but otherwise they were wearing what they’d walked in the door with. He drew her into her closet first, undressing her piece by piece. She helped, but mostly watched him, withdrawn and unsettlingly still.

Then he held out the lavender robe to her and she drew that on herself, belting it with sigh. Downstairs they went, Stede turning on lights as they walked. The food had gone cool, so he re-warmed it in the microwave. They ate at the table in silence, Stede bracketing her ankles between his own. He waited until her plate was clear and her water glass was empty.

“What happened?” He asked, barely above a whisper.

“It was the wind,” she sighed, leaning back in her hair, taking down her hair, so it fell around her like a curtain. “Something hit the window, then the rain. I got tense and I couldn’t untense. I paced around and it was dark. I don’t know. The tube seemed best.”

“It’s a good tub,” he said and he wanted to crush her into a hug. He wanted to shake her. He wanted….so many things. This had only happened a few times since they’d met, but he already knew that all he could offer was this: his voice, his affection, his presence.

“Couch?” She asked, looking away.

“Of course, honey.”

He turned on music to drown out the rain. He brushed her hair out when she asked, rebraiding it. And then at last, she collapsed down on him, the glorious press of her body on his delighting him.

“Sorry,” she muttered.

“Never sorry,” he kissed the crown of their head. “Whatever you need. Whenever you need it.” “Done so much bad shit and that’s all that sticks with me. One night. Is that weird?”

“No, I don’t think so. It changed you, brought the things that came after. The first domino.”

“Would you still love me if I never got out of the tub?”

“Oh yes,” he smiled into her hair. “I would buy you a mermaid tail and start you a very profitable Instagram account.”

“Genius,” she laughed softly. “Your captured treasure from the seas.”

“Dye your hair green.”

“Paint on scales.”

“Tattoo them. It’s a lifestyle, honey, you can’t do half-measures.”

“Right,” Eddy snickered. “Oooh no top, just lots and lots of pearl necklaces.”

“You could do that look without the tub. I’d watch that number.”

“I’m not doing burlesque in public for you, perv.”

“A shame, you’d be marvelous at it. Better than Buttons.”

“High praise.”

Vivaldi swelled and the rain couldn’t compete with the rising strings. They talked themselves into a dream and stayed there until it was safe to go to bed.

[dragonmuse]

In The Kid is Alright, Eddy is new to interacting with Alma and isn’t sure how to be around her. By the next time we see them together, she’s settled into the role of step-parent. How was their process of coming to terms with being a parent and becoming comfortable in that role? I expect there would be some anxiety considering their history with their own parents, and I imagine it might sneak up on them that she’s actually a parent now.

(It's a long and rocky road, but mostly for Eddy, at least, not the kids themselves. She works very hard to keep the pointy parts of herself away from them. )

The first time she thinks of them as hers it's only about a year or so after the wedding. Alma is 12 and Charlie is 8. She has them both with her, Stede is dealing with something at the bar.

"Eddy," Charlie approached them with a frown, his brow all wrinkled up like Stede's which makes them smile.

"What's up?" Eddy asked.

"My shoe broke." He lifted up his foot to show her the toe of his sneakers peeling away. "I was running and I tripped and it broke."

"Huh. Did you bring another pair?"

"Nuh huh."

"Okay then, I guess shoe shopping it is," she decided. She hadn't really had a plan anyway. "Alma, get yourself together, we're going shoe shopping."

"Okay!" She called from the bathroom. "Can I get a pair too?"

You've got a dozen at least,Eddy thought. And you only wear the one most of the time. What the hell do you need another for?

"Maybe," she equivocated.

It took some minor magic to get them all out the door, but within a half hour, they were on the subway. Eddy and Alma clung to a pole, Charlie, after attempting to stand just on his own and almost falling ass over teakettle, wrapped himself around Eddy's free arm. He clung like a barnacle, giggling every time they came to a stop and he almost tumbled over, only Eddy's grasp on his t-shirt keeping him upright. When he fell against her hand, she could feel his ribs, his fluttery tiny heart against her palm.

He was so small in the world. Alma not much larger.

"Come on," Eddy urged them off at their stop. Alma was too big to hold hands, but Charlie had no such compunction, keeping his grip as they mounted the stairs. It was only when they reached street level again that he started his usual yo-yoing, running ahead then arching back Alma kept pace beside her.

"Can we get lunch out?" Alma asked.

"Mm, going to have to. It's almost noon already."

"I'm hungry."

"Me too!" Charlie put in as he circled back. "Can we have hamburgers?"

"We had hamburgers yesterday," Alma groaned. "And I don't even like that places veggie burger. It's so dry."

They'd eaten pizza last night for dinner, so by Eddy's math, she should probably be trying to jam something with the potential for green it down their young gullets.

"Ramen?" She offered.

"Yes!" they both agreed. All right then.

"I saw a documentary about ramen," Alma told her as Charlie ping-ponged around them. "This shop had been in the same family for three hundred years."

"Really?" Eddy listened with half an ear as she tried to remember which side of the street the damn place was on.

"Uh huh, can you imagine? All those generations of people learning how to make noodles. It was so cool. I wish we had something like that, but instead we just have boring Bonnets forever, doing stupid things like stocks."

"Is that it?" Charlie asked, pointing to a sign.

"Read it," Eddy instructed. "You tell me."

"Dry...cleaners...oh." Charlie sighed then rushed on ahead again.

Alma went on describing the noodle making process and at last there was the shop across the street.

"Can I cross?" Charlie asked.

"Wait for us," Eddy instructed and got her hand on his shoulder before he could yeet himself into traffic. "Okay...now."

There weren't tables available during the lunch rush, but the kids seemed happier with the tall chairs around the ramen bar.

"Okay," Eddy wasn't even hungry this early, but she posted up on her chair like she'd survived a ship wreck. "What's everyone getting?"

That bought her a few minutes of peace as they both looked over the menu. She texted Stede their whereabouts in case he got home early and decided on her own meal.

"Can I get it spicy?" Charlie asked.

"It's your lunch," she frowned. "But if you don't like it..."

"I'm going to try," he decided.

"Yikes," Alma muttered.

Eddy let him get it, figuring she could swap bowls with him when he inevitably gave up. They each ordered politely then turned to her expectantly.

"What?"

"What should we do while we wait?"

"Uh...fuck," she rustled in her pockets, came up with an envelope she'd stuffed in there and a pen. "Knock yourselves out."

They figured out some dot game that Alma was clearly going to win, Charlie not even quite following the rules, but the place worked fast so the food was delivered before Eddy had to arbitrate any arguments.

Eddy and Alma's bowls were mostly shades of yellows. Charlie's was a mildly alarming shade of red. Welp. At least it would be a story.

"Cool," Charlie declared, dipped into the broth and sucked down a mouthful.

Eddy ate her egg and considered her life choices. Alma chopsticked enough noodles into her face to choke a cow.

"Bites, Alma," Eddy reminded her.

Charlie was flushed now, but was already inexpertly attacking his noodles with the same verve as Alma with even less tidiness. All right then.

"Can I have a juice?" He asked through a mouthful of noodles.

"Don't talk with your mouthful and no, you had juice with breakfast and there'll be soda with dinner probably, stick to water."

"Can I have your mushrooms?" Alma asked, eyeballing Eddy's bowl.

"Knock yourself out, hate the slimy bastards."

They all finished their bowls. Charlie had blown his nose a few times, but was otherwise no worse for wear.

"That was great!" he said merrily.

"Huh. Okay, Charlie is a yes to spice," Eddy noted, shelling out their debit card. "Who knew?"

"Roach let me lick a ghost pepper once," Charlie sucked down the rest of his glass of water. "I only cried a little!"

Eddy: you let charlie lick a ghost pepper?

Roach: you want free childcare, you get what you paid for

The shoe store was crowded and Charlie wound up glued to their side.

"What size do you wear?" Eddy asked him and was met with a shrug. She turned to Alma. "Do you know?"

"Why would I know?" She looked blankly back Eddy.

"Okay," Eddy scanned the store, found a floor sticker with colorful kids feet and numbers with relief. "Pop off the broken one, kiddo, let's figure this out."

Once they had his size, Alma scouted ahead and located a row of sneakers (gender divided, naturally) and started pointing out options to Charlie, who shrank closer and closer until Eddy wasn't sure if he was attempting to hide or possibly merge with their body.

"Alma," Eddy said gently. "Go find yourself three pairs to try on. No promises, got it?"

"Got it!" She dashed off.

"What color do you want, Charlie?"

"Dunno," he looked down at his single socked foot. Oh right, probably should've had him put the other shoe back on. Whoops.

"You like red, right?"

"Yeah," he said softly.

"Not your favorite though?"

He shrugged.

"Can't read minds, kiddo, talk to me."

"I liked these," he touched his socked toe to the other shoe.

"Oh, you're sad they broke, huh?" Eddy said with some relief at untangling that. "Yeah, sucks. How about we find a pair as much like them as we can?"

"Yeah, okay."

They managed to find a very similar pair in the same brand and Charlie found a smile again. Alma tried on several pairs of sneakers, but then put them all away again and didn't ask for any of them, so Eddy rode that reprieve to the register and then to the overpriced cookie store, handing out sugar and gaining a coffee that she clung to like a lifeline.

They made it back to the apartment to find Stede just getting home himself.

"There you all are," he said as if he'd been looking for them for hour instead of just now hanging up his coat. "How did shoe shopping go?"

"Look, look," Charlie dashed up to him, holding out one foot. "Eddy found the same ones, almost!"

"They are very close," Stede agreed. "Are you happy with them?"

"Yes, they fit really good," he said contentedly.

"I got a garbage cookie," Alma announced with satisfaction. "It had potato chips in it."

"How was that?" Stede gently herded them further inside.

"Really good! Can I watch TV?"

"Yes, of course."

The two of them went to to go tussle over the couch cushions and Eddy sat down on the spindly bench to pry off her own boots. Stede went into the kitchen, to dispense water.

It was as she set her boots down next to Charlie's new sneakers that it hit in her in a wave. There were their big black boots, here were small sneakers and Alma's slightly larger sparkly purple boots. A line of shoes, bookended by Stede's loafers.

This wasn't babysitting. This was Eddy's home, crowded with kids' shoes. They'd just done an errand, got them fed and watered. This wasn't special days out anymore. This just...was.

"You okay, honey?" Stede drifted in. "You spaced out a bit there."

"No, I'm here," Eddy smiled up at him. "Just thinking. When did you start feeling like you were really a dad?"

"When I rocked Alma to sleep for the first time," Stede said after a second's thought. "She was so small. Hard to believe she's the same human almost."

"Does it ever stop being scary?"

"Not so far," Stede slid an arm around her waist, pressed a kiss to her cheek. "But you're pretty brave. I think you'll manage."

[dragonmuse]

I would love a bit about eddys transition now that shes on estrogen, as a trans person i love reading abt trans people getting to experience the joys (and even the not..so great bits) of transition :)

(thank you for your patience Anon! AsIsHerRight just asked for an update on Eddy's transition as well and I know I did a very brief ask ages ago, but here is something more substantive.)

Mornings after show days were slow affairs, but eventually, Eddy dragged herself into the shower and stood under the pounding heat. She kept her hair in it's braid, avoiding getting it wet. It would last another day or two before she had to go through the ritual of a wash. Maybe she should cut it.

Probably not though.

The fan had been running, the window cracked, so there was far less steam then usual when she stepped out and reached for her toothbrush. She paced around the bathroom as she brushed her teeth, stopping to look out the window, then meandering back to the sink. A few last vigorous brushes...

There was movement in the mirror.

For the first six or seven months with the injections, Eddy had monitored their body with intense scrutiny. There had been small changes, each one delighting them. But nothing seismic. After awhile, they had relaxed their vigil, irritated at their own intensity.

It was ten months in now. And something had very definitely just...jiggled. She used her towel to wipe the mirror free of the last of condensation. Feeling slightly ridiculous, but with no one else there to see, she wiggled a little.

That was definitely a full on jiggle. She clapped a hand over her mouth, suppressing a strangled laugh. Then bounced again.

"Stede!" She called out.

"One second, honey!" He sounded far away, probably downstairs. She didn't feel like waiting.

Discarding her towel, she went downstairs stark naked. He was holding two steaming mugs at the bottom.

"Oh hello," he grinned, eyebrows shooting up. "I was going to try to tempt you back to bed with beverages, but I see that's not needed."

"No! I mean, yes, probably, but in a second," she reached the bottom. Pointed to her nipples. "Watch."

"I'm watching," he assured her.

She bounced.

"Oh well, look at that!" His eyes went wide. "I knew you were definitely have some development, but that's very clear, isn't it?"

"Tits!"

"Tits," he agreed with a laugh. "Very impressive, darling. Are you pleased?"

"I think so," she took one of the mugs from him. The one with the purple leaves around the rim was usually hers. "Can you believe it? I'd given up, honestly."

"I don't know why, you read all the same things I did," Stede absently took a sip from his mug, his eyes still very definitely on her chest. "Some people have results two or three years in. And I told you I thought there was a change weeks ago."

"Yeah, but there's like all these small things and it's so hard to fucking tell." The coffee was beautifully sweet.

"It's not small, dear," Stede finally looked away, rustled in his robe pocket and pulled out his phone. "Look..hold on..."

He pulled up a photo. It was from the tour last summer, one of the better stops that was all lush and green. She was standing in front of the RV, a pair of sunglasses pushed up into her hair and most of her body on display in her black shorts and purple crop top. Stede had taken it while they were mid-discussion and she was smiling a little, but not broadly, her stance neutral, arms loose at her sides.

"Oh, oh wow," Eddy gazed down at it.

"I know it's hard to see day by day," Stede kissed their shoulder. "But it's there."

"Look here," they grazed a line of over their hips in the picture.

"It's happening," he nodded.

They considered the Eddy in the photo, then tilted their regard to today's flesh, subtly re-arranged.

"You know what this means?" They handed him back his phone.

"What's that?"

"You are taking me shopping for bras," she said delightedly.

"Of course I will," Stede beamed at her. "Some nice silky bits and bobs. I know just the place."

"I knew you would."

She does lead him back up the stairs first, coffee left to go cold on the bedside tables. He lavished attention on her chest, and she sighed into it, hitching one leg over his back, toes curling as he lapped over one nipple.

Today, her boots had landed on even firmer ground, the pit ever further behind her, barely a splotch on the horizon.

[dragonmuse]

if the smit gate is still open would LOVE to request some eddy/stede getting busy, I love them so much

(you got it! so this includes something I've wanted to touch on for a while. Eddy and Stede discuss words for Eddy's genitals in the middle of this.)

“Shhhhh,” Stede attempted to say while giggling. “Darling, if we get caught this is going to be very embarrassing.” 

“We won’t get caught,” Eddy said earnestly, also repressing a laugh. “Who’s going to catch us?” 

They were backstage on a quiet Monday morning. No one was due in for hours and they had really just come by to do some paperwork, but as often happened, Stede’s mood had shifted to align with Eddy’s and she was in a very giddy space. Probably the extra cup of coffee with breakfast and just a general good brain day.  Now they were smuggling in behind the thick red curtains after a swat at Eddy’s ass had her dragging Stede into the shadows. 

“I only meant to tease,” Stede kissed her neck. 

“Too bad. I play for keeps Mr. Teach-Bonnet.” 

“I know, I know, Mx. Teach-Bonnet. What kind of keeps would you like?” 

“I don’t know,” she licked her lips. “It’s a stage. Put on a good show for me.” 

“I can do that.” 

Stede didn’t take off her shirt, only slid his hands under it, rucking it up.  Her bralette today was lacy and he didn’t shove that out of the way either, just set his mouth on her nipple, using the sheer fabric against her as he raised a peak. 

“Ooooh,” she balanced on her good leg and wrapped the other behind his calves, drawing him in closer. The wall held her up, but it felt like the curtain in front of them was doing the work, a soft hammock of fabric enveloping her as Stede drove her slowly out of her mind. 

One of Stede’s hands caught her under the thigh, steadying her even as he worked at her other nipple.  She bucked against him, head tipping back and her hands claws on his shoulders. Then he dropped, gracefully, to his knees. There was one worshipping kiss to her stomach, then his hands were on her waistband, skimming down her loose pants. He didn’t take off her underwear either, the demon. He just leaned in and licked her right through them. 

“Fuuuuck,” her head almost cracked against the wall. “Stede...please love...” 

“Please what?” Stede glanced up at her with a grin. “What can I do for you? Do you want me to suck your cock or should I...” 

Eddy glanced down at him, waiting for the end of the sentence. It didn’t come. He was eyeing her speculative. Tentative. 

“What?” She sighed. “Are you having a seizure or something?” 

“No I...I was thinking. About something and I’m not sure how you’ll feel about it and I’m not sure it’s the time to ask.” 

“I will strangle you with my thighs,” Eddy groaned. “Why now?” 

“It’s germane.” 

“It’s germane,” she repeated flatly. “It’s germane to you sucking my cock?” 

“It’s germane to the other option.” 

“Fine. What.” The earlier heat was starting to ebb which was extremely annoying.  

“It’s only if you want it, but I was thinking,” Stede’s hands moved to cup ass, kneading a little. Some of the annoyance leached away. “That we never talked about what you might want to call all the bits of yourself these days. If you had any particular feelings about it.” 

“Cock is a cock,” Eddy shrugged. “Giving it a cute name isn’t going to change that. Not sure I want to.” 

“All right, I figured that because you use the word yourself, but,” Stede squeezed her ass again and damn that felt good. Maybe she could get herself off while he was yakking and idly groping her like he was determining the ripeness of a cantaloupe. “We could...” 

The unspoken idea finally arrived in her head. 

“But it’s not.” 

“Why not?” Stede asked gently. “If we decide it is, why not?” 

“I-” Eddy stared down at him. “But...” 

“We don’t have to, honey. We can go on using all the same words we did before. I just thought you might want it and hadn’t gotten around to asking yet.” 

“I hadn’t thought...” but she had. A little. In the privacy of her own mind where anything was allowed. But Stede was right, of course. Who elses business was it? They could do whatever they liked. There were no laws here. 

“Can we try it and I can see if I like it?” 

“Of course. If you don’t, we’ll go right back.” 

Eddy took a deep breath, expelled it, then she reached out to sink her fingers into his hair. 

“Stede?” 

“Mm?” 

“Lick my pussy.” 

He didn’t hesitate to shoved down her underwear. The angle was bad, she was hobbled by her clothes and he had to hold far too much of her weight to maintain it for very long. But he tongued her open so expertly, Eddy was beyond caring almost immediately. 

“Oh God, oh God,” she rocked against him. 

When he pulled away, she almost strangled him. 

“I may have taken one of the lube sachests from the bathroom,” he panted. “Can I fuck your pussy?” 

And that was so goddamn dirty for some reason that Eddy could’ve practically come from hearing it. She got both feet on the ground so she could turn around and bend over, practically tripping over her own pants. 

“If you don’t, I might actually cry,” she groaned. 

He didn’t mess around, sliding into her seconds later, so wet with lube, there was an audible wet thwack. She cried out into her arms and he pulled her tight to him. 

“Oh, fuck,” she moaned. “Please... baby, oh god fuck me hard. Make me scream.” 

Stede groaned, put his forehead to her shoulder and then he moved, short staccato thrusts that made her whine and claw up the wall half trying to get away half pushing herself harder against him. The wet slap of sound echoed over the stage. He reached around, palming her cock in time to his thrusts so all she had to do was keep herself upright. Surprisingly demanding at the moment. 

“You’re so tight, so wet,” Stede murmured into her ear. “I love fucking your pussy, gorgeous girl.” 

Eddy wailed and came in a body wracking shake that he held her through. Wrung out, she propped herself against the wall, aware of the hot throbbing length of him still inside of her. She clenched around him, grinning as he grunted in pleasure. 

“Go on.” she encouraged. 

“Not to twitchy, baby girl?” 

“Nah," she could've melted into the floor with that, "go ahead.” 

Stede didn’t take much longer and she loved how he came with the smallest whimper as if it hurt him to come to an end. Then he kissed her shoulder, over and over until he slipped from her. 

“What do you think?” He asked, staying where he was so she could keep her hiding her face. 

“I don’t know about all the time. Doesn’t really work day to day. But uh. Yes. During sex,” she decided. 

“All right,” Stede was clearly pleased with himself and she let him have it. He should be pleased. That had been hot as hell.  “I love you.” 

“I love you too,” she turned to him, pressing her forehead to his. “You want to go rinse out your mouth, I’ll clean the curtain.” 

“...that’s probably wise,” he conceded. 

They did get to the paperwork eventually. Well. Stede did. Eddy spaced out for the most part. He didn’t call her back,  humming his atonal hum instead, lulling her in the quiet. 

[dragonmuse]

I do not have long hair, but one of my friends does and her husband complains about waking up with her hair in his mouth and I have a feeling something like that has happened at least once to our favorite, Goldenboy and babygirl. 

Oh absolutely! Eddy's hair is just everwhere. My husband also complains about this, so I sort of flip it up when we get into bed so it's out of his way (also so I get shoulder and neck kisses! which I imagine Eddy would also very much want). So I imagine Eddy does much the same or wears it braided back.

But Stede has absoutly eaten hair.

I will submit though that if you are regularly mouthing around someone's genitals, you're occasionally eating a hair too unless they are frequent shavers/waxers, so it you know. Just part of the fun!

[dragonmuse]

Your 'verse gives me all the good feels!! I just did an epic backscroll and couldn't see this asked soooo - can we have Leda/Stede's perspective meeting Eddy in Kiss My Lipstick On? I love going back to reread first meetings and there's SO MUCH I love about theirs (unlikely happenstance! impressing each other IN THE FACE just being themselves! Leda/Stede trying out being slutty! having a cup of tea with a hookup! jumping straight in the deep end of emotional intimacy!) that I'm greedy.

(Thank you so very much! Been a while since we've had a good Stede POV! And I don’t think I’ve re-visited Kiss My Lipstick on in ages. Forward! Into the past! Note: as usual, we'll be sticking with Eddy's chosen name and pronouns) 

“Lucius?”  Leda stepped out of her office. She barely fit in the room in full regalia, but she’d wanted to double check an inventory number. 

“Watch out!” Lucius called out, his voice high and strangled. “He’s got a gun! “ 

“Who-”  

She went over hard. Later, Lucius would tell her that the gunman had crossed the room in what seemed like a blur and shoved her. What she felt was a sudden change in latitude and the rather rude introduction of her ass to the floor. The layers of her dress flew up and over her head and as she fought to free herself from them, she heard someone mumble something. 

“I’m sorry, what? You’ll have to speak up.” 

“I know there’s cash here,” came the feeble demand. “No one has to get hurt here.” 

Leda was livid. This was her place, her castle. No one came in here and made idle threats again her or her staff. As soon as she got to her feet, she was going to give this man a piece of her mind.  Just as she managed to flip the bouncy skirts off her face, she watched a shadow fall over the gunman. 

“Agree to disagree, bud,” said the shadow and then there were three harsh cracking sounds and the gunman crumpled to the floor beside her. The shadow fiddled with the gun, then shoved it into a pocket. A hand, clad in a fingerless leather glove, reached down toward her. 

“Thank you,” she said breathlessly, taking it. 

With one smooth strong motion, the shadow brought her to her feet. 

And she could finally see that they were no shadow at all. The person standing before her was absolutely mouthwatering. Their eyes were luminously dark in a fine featured face, their hair was long, thick and curly on top of their head as well as in their very becoming beard. 

Tingles. Full body tingles. She hoped that didn’t show on her face. 

“You should have door security,” an absolutely lovely voice informed her curtly. 

“We do, but their shift doesn’t start until eight,” she rushed to assure them. Would’ve told them just about anything to win their approval at that point, a trait that Leda wasn’t particularly proud of usually, but felt appropriate just then. “Thank you for the rescue. Your drinks are definitely free tonight!” 

“Could use one,” he cleared his throat and held out his hand again, “I’m Eddy.”

“In the dress I’m Leda House, she/her.”  And oh, that grip was very warm and firm. How long did one shake hands for again? Was a half hour acceptable “Out of it, Stede Bonnet, he/him. A pleasure to meet you.”

“Yeah, sure,” they weren’t in a rush to disengage either, their hand lingering and then finally dropping.  “Is this a drag bar?”

"What else would it be?" She gestured at herself with an amused grin. Surely this lovely creature hadn’t wandered in all at random to save the day? Surely Eddy had known what this place was? 

"Not sure, but with a name like Revenge..."  Or maybe not. Maybe this was just a very lucky night. 

“Just a bit of an old joke,” she laughed. “Let’s get you that drink.”

“Want me to drag that guy outside first?” Eddy offered.

“Oh would you? That’d be a big help.”

Leda wandered over to the bar, watching under her false eyelashes as Eddy easily hefted the gunman off the floor and dragged him none-to-gently out the side door. 

“Fuck, fuck, fuck,” Lucius was saying as Leda reached him. 

“You all right?” She checked. “Did he hurt you?” 

“No, are you okay?” He asked quickly. “You went ass over tits pretty hard.” 

“I’m all right. The padding took care of most of it,” she assured him. “What a shock though! And what a rescue.” 

“Yeah,  she came in like a bat out of hell,” Lucius watched the back door speculatively. “Seemed to really know what she was doing.” 

“Those leather pants...” Leda trailed off. 

“Really?” Lucius made a face. “Cause I was thinking it’d be like putting my dick in a bear trap.” 

“Don’t say that,” she scolded, then sighed. “But...why are you saying that?” 

“Because that punch wasn’t a first timer’s luck. That’s someone that does a lot of punching,” Lucius shrugged. “Seemed to be struck by you though.”

“You think so?”  The thought lit her up. “Really?” 

“Yes, really. Why? You going to go for it?”

“I want to take her home,” Leda decided. 

“Ooooh, Miss. House,” Lucius’ lascivious grin could’ve lit the entire bar. “What happened to giving up on dating, hm?” 

“I’m entering my slutty phase,” she declared. “I’ll take her home tonight if she’ll have me.” 

“Listen to you. I’m almost proud.” 

“I’d be happier if you’d be almost a bartender for a bit, we’re going to start seeing actual customers soon, you know.” 

Leda turned on the house music and a moment later, Eddy was back inside. She paused in the doorway, scanning, and for a breathless moment, Leda wondered if she wouldn’t come back in, but then she breached the threshold. 

“Lucius, make the man a drink,” Leda told him. 

And then to her horror, Lucius asked, "Are you a cop?"

“Do I look like a cop?” Eddy growled and oh my, that was a very menacing tone. Very...mm.

“You look like the only daddy ever kicked out of a leather bar for being too intense.”

Oh, Leda was going to have to kill one of the few people in the world she considered a friend. That was unfortunate.

“Daddy?” Eddy’s voice raised. 

“Ignore him,” Leda slid in between them,  “He was dropped on his head. As an adult.” 

That last bit she aimed at Lucius, who tossed her an unrepentant eye roll. 

“So what do you drink? Gasoline?” 

“Why don’t you make her a house special?” Leda suggested.

“What’s the special?” 

“You’ll like it. If you don’t, order whatever else you want,” Leda wanted to get in another word, attempt something flirtatious, but the doors were opening again. “Sorry to cut and run, but I have to finish getting ready and make sure the other girls have everything they need. Showtime is in thirty.”

The show went on, but Leda’s mind was on Eddy at the bar. From the side of the stage she could watch them which proved very distracting. They were wide-eyed, sometimes laughing, sometimes intent and all of it was exceedingly appealing. 

As soon as Leda could, she slipped into the dressing room, shimmied out of the uncomfortable rig for the headless number and grabbed the first person that came into her radius. It was Pete. 

“Go to the bar and get the person sitting in the all leather getup. Tell her that she’s invited back here.” 

“The mysterious Eddy?” Pete guessed with a sly smile. 

“When did you even have time to talk to Lucius?” Leda asked, then decided, “Never mind. Please just go ask?” 

“You got it, boss.” 

Leda didn’t have to wait long. The door opened and Eddy slipped in, silencing the room. What a figure they struck, walking carefully through the room. There was a grace to Eddy that Leda wanted very much. 

When the time came, it was actually very easy to offer, 

“I was thinking, I should say thank you properly. Would you like to come over to my place for a nightcap? I’m only a few blocks away.”

“Yeah,” Eddy’s eyes darted to Leda’s lips and away again. “That’d be good. But don’t you have to stay and manage things?”

Probably. Things tended to go more to plan if Leda stayed, but she couldn’t stand to linger tonight. So she said something glib, didn’t bother getting the rest of her drag off and got Eddy out of there before anyone asked an off putting question or some disaster claimed her attention.

The walk home flew by, far too fast. It was only as they got closer that she realized her error in staying in makeup. 

“I’m going to be very rude and abandon you as soon as we get inside,” she apologized. “ I have to shower and get this makeup off or it gets all over the furniture. Do you mind?”

“Your place, do what you want,” Eddy shrugged, a roll of strong shoulders that made her mouth water a little. 

A shower after being in drag was a bit of a production. After ripping off the eyelashes, Stede got in under the water and tried his best to rush through it. There was a gorgeous human in his apartment, who had consented to be there. He wasn’t going to waste a second of it. 

Though he did wash, very thoroughly. That only seemed polite.  Then he brushed his teeth very thoroughly. And then maybe tried to give himself a pep talk in the mirror. He wanted Leda’s confidence back very badly just then. 

When he slipped out of the bathroom, he was half-certain Eddy would be gone or that he’d lose all his nerve and ask them to leave. 

But instead of being confronted by a horny hookup. Stede just found his drag closet open, the thick undulating rainbow of fabric exposed. Eddy had wandered down the row and was holding a length of red silk. It sat gently in her hands, the expression on her face one of intense confusion and desire. 

He moved to her side. 

“You have good taste,” he said softly. 

“Is this real silk?” The voice that demanded attention had gone soft and small. 

“For my sins,” he tried not to think about the things he had bought and never dared to wear. “It cost far too much and I’ve never been able to figure out what act I should use it for. Do you like it?”

“Yes.”

Eddy turned back to him. What if she found him wanting without the getup? Less than acceptable without makeup and eyelashes. 

“Can I offer you a drink?” He blurted, and then fumbling, had to explain. “I don’t really have alcohol in the house. I hate waking up with hangovers, so it’s one at the club on working nights and I’m done. Is tea all right?”

And to his great surprise, tea was all right. So were the croissants. So was the conversation as tender as the pastry that rose between them. Something about Eddy’s whole...everything, just made Stede feel confessional. He wanted to be close, to listen, to tell. 

It was a wholly new feeling and it frightened him a little.  When Eddy broke the flow with a groaning: “This is the most intense conversation I’ve ever had with a hook up.”  Stede had to crack a joke, had to lighten things any way he could before he was dragged fully under the waves, 

“Oh this isn’t a hook up,” Stede said gravely. “I invited you here to tell you about our lord and savior.”

“What?” Eddy looked so scandalized that Stede giggled, an entirely ridiculous sound. 

“Your face! I’m sorry, I just had to lighten the mood,” Now or never, Bonnet, commit! He tried hard to summon Leda's easy manner, “I would 110% like to have sex with you. You’re incredibly good looking. Like truly painfully hot. I almost missed my cue because I was staring at you. But um. It did get a bit heavy, can I make a proposal?”

“You’re a demon,” Eddy shook her head, “but go ahead.”

“What if tonight we just slept? Separately or together. And we can see where things take us in the morning. I’m a little drained. It’s late and I don’t really talk about any of that with anyone... ever.”

Stede waited, quietly for rejection. It didn’t come.  Instead, Eddy stripped down to black underwear, revealing miles of gorgeous light brown skin littered with tattoos that Stede promised himself he’d get a better look at (with tongue) in the morning.  

Of course, then he bored poor Eddy to sleep talking Shakespeare. Good job, Bonnet. But what was there to do, but follow them after into dreams. If Eddy wanted to slip away in the night from the rambling fool, who would blame her? 

Instead, Stede woke to a gentle touch, fingertips tracing over his own tattoo. 

The sex was everything Stede had imagined it was supposed to be. It wasn’t that he’d been having only bad sex. Some of the men he’d dated since the divorce had been very generous in bed. Nothing actually felt different, his orgasm was delightful, but not world bending. 

What was different was Eddy. The sounds she made, the way she touched him alternated between grasping and caressing as if she wasn’t sure if she wanted to tear him apart or savor every second. The sounds that came out of her, throaty and sweet, sent shivers over his skin. When it was over, Stede held her hand and was absolutely certain that he would hold on this time as long as she’d let him. 

If someone had told him just then, that ‘as long as she’d let him’ would turn out to be the rest of their lives, Stede wouldn’t have argued a bit. He might not have believed it yet,  but he would already have wanted it to be the truth more than he wanted to breathe.

[dragonmuse]

this is maybe more silly than what you’re feeling but I think at one point eddy mentioned she and stede tried some kinky stuff and it just ended in them laughing their asses off??? would love to see that (or anything with those two tbh)

(so yeah, not entirely smutty, but could be smitty! hope you like!)

“Come here,” Eddy said with steel in her voice. The tone that has always made Izzy collapse at her feet so long ago. The voice men twice as wide as her had obeyed without thought. 

“Yes, dear,” Stede was smiling, puckishly. 

Eddy��s lips twitched, but then schooled back into a stern flat line.  “Kneel.” 

It took a second. Stede considered the space around Eddy’s feet, apparently looking for the best place, before folding himself down. He was repressing a full on grin and they could fucking tell. Menace. 

“When I tell you to do something, I expect you to do it fast,” she snarled. Or tried to. It was really hard to keep growling, when Stede was looking up at her with those doe brown eyes. 

“Yes, dear. I mean. M’am....we should’ve discussed terms.” Stede realized. 

Eddy closed her eyes, reigning her expression back in.  “If you call me m’am, this isn’t going to work. I feel like a school teacher.” 

“We could try that at some point,” Stede decided.  

“Just...fuck. I don’t know. Call me whatever.” 

“That doesn’t seem in keeping with the spirit.” 

“Fine. Maybe I’m ‘mistress’  here,” Eddy decided. “That’s fine.” 

“Okay,” Stede said peacefully, then tacked on, “mistress.” 

“Oh fuck,” Eddy had to look at the ceiling. It did not sound respectful on Stede’s tongue. Filthy. But not respectful. “Right. Do something useful while you’re down there.” 

“Like what?” Stede asked merrily. 

“...for fuck’s sake, just take off my pants,” Eddy kept looking at the ceiling. 

At least eager for that, Stede reached for the button and got it udone, then slid the zipper down. Then he leaned in and kissed her stomach like he always did. 

“I didn’t give you permission to touch me,” Eddy snapped. 

“Sorry, mistress,” Stede got all wide-eyed, and then looked down at the ground. His shoulders started to shake. 

“Stop that,” Eddy groaned. “Stede.” 

“Sorry, honey! Really I am, but you’re so cute when you get all commanding.” 

“I can’t be cute! This doens’t work if you think I’m cute,” Eddy groaned. “You have to be hot for me.” 

“I am hot for you,” Stede assured her. “All the time. Sometimes it’s actually problematic.” 

“Like when?” They asked, distracted now. 

“Oh, like when you’re talking with one of our friends and you get excited about something and it makes me think about other times you’ve gotten excited and I still have to pretend I’m listening to whoever I’m talking to,” Stede sat back on his heels. “You know.” 

“I do,” Eddy allowed, reaching down to ran a hand over his golden hair. “Been there. When you’re all in a huff and you get flushed.” 

“Oh,” Stede leaned into the touch. “I didn’t know that. See how useful role play is.” 

“Mate, this is the least successful roleplay I can think of. You can’t obey me worth shit.” 

“I never promised too,” Stede pointed out. “We took it out of the vows and everything.” 

“Yeah, but you wanted to play this game and that’s how it works.” 

“Why?” Stede challenged. 

“What do you mean, why? It’s the whole point of the whole...dom thing. Like it’s short for domination, not short for give the dom a headache.” 

“I think that’s called being a brat and it’s encouraged,” Stede corrected. “I looked it up.” 

“You’re not a brat,” Eddy sighed. “Brats want the punishment. Do you actually want me to punish you? Cause you’re not even that into spanking.” 

“Well a little pain is fun, real pain isn’t. Not for me anyway,” Stede sighed. “I don’t know. I thought it could be...playful?” 

“I guess it can be,” Eddy gave up and sat on the edge of the bed. “But I don’t think it is for me. When I go there, I go all the way there. Didn’t really think about that before we got into it.” 

“Maybe you didn’t know? I’m going to sit next to you, honey, my knees are killing me already.” 

“Yeah, sure.” 

They pressed together, Stede putting his hand on their thigh. “Mistress Eddy has a ring to it though.” 

“If I were your actual mistress, you’d be in for it,” Eddy warned him. 

“What would you do to me?” Stede asked, kissing her shoulder. “Would you be terrible?” 

“I’d torture you within an inch of your life.” 

“But if I was agreeing then it would have to be something I liked too. And torture sounds unpleasent.” 

“Maybe I’d tie you up and tickle you,” Eddy laughed just at the thought. “Get you under the back of your knees until you giggled yourself to death.” 

“Awful,” Stede did giggle, just at the thought. “I’d curse your name.” 

“Then I’d make you sit at watch while I tore the pages out of a book.” 

“Demon!” He accused. “What else?” 

“Mm, I’d...touch myself and not let you touch me.” 

“Oh, that would be very cruel,” Stede decided. “More for you than me though. I like watching you.” 

“Voyeruism is more your kink than pain,” Eddy agreed, putting their hand over his. “Want to just fuck regular?” 

“Yes,” Stede said feverently then with a cheeky grin, “or maybe it’s yes, mistress?” 

“That’s it!” Eddy did tickle him and they rolled around on the bed while Stede laughed manically. 

They had sex eventually, but it was nearly an hour later. 

[dragonmuse]

I know we talk about Eddy and her trauma a lot. But I would love to see when they realized that under the big bold mask, Stede really is just a lonely weird kid that never really learned how to have friends. Or about his past.

(you got it anon! This one got a little long. It takes place right after Alma and her crew go back home from the Junior Drag Show weekend in I'll Share Your Load. It got a wee bit long.)

The minute Doug’s minivan pulled away, taking the band of teens with it,  it was like all the air had been sucked out of the apartment. Eddy was used to such drops upon the kids’ departures. She was still prone to melancholy swings from time to time and Mondays after custody weekends were always at least a little sulky. 

(and oh fuck Alma going to college was going to suck so hard, she was going to be an adult and not need them for any fucking thing and Eddy didn’t like to think about it)  

Deep down, in the meanest part of Eddy’s soul, she thought Stede was always a little relieved when Alma and Charlie left. Not because he didn’t love them or enjoy the time with them, but that they were symbols of all of Stede’s mistakes, living reminders of lost years. Mostly though, he indulged Eddy’s whims as he always did and maybe was a bit sad himself over his perennial cheer. 

So it took Eddy off guard when she found him standing stock still in the middle of the living room looking utterly bereft. 

“You okay, love?” She took a step toward him and he didn’t immediately look to her or even seem to blink. “Stede?” 

“Look at this,” he said softly, holding out a piece of paper. 

Eddy took it gingerly. It had been torn from a notebook, ragged on the edges. Along the light blue lines in Alma’s handwriting it read, 

Our shoes on the pavement

Rubber squeaking in the rain 

We race through the drops

Soaked through 

Someday the stars will wink out 

One by one 

We will never have been

But today we run and run 

And your breath is in my lungs 

“Is it good?” Eddy asked him. She never really had gotten poetry, not the way she figured Stede did. 

“I couldn’t say,” Stede looked at her hopelessly. “It’s beautiful to me. She let me read it. She never lets me read her poems. I know she sends you lines and things, but I don’t even get that.”

“I think she only tells me because she doesn’t think I’ve got any frame of reference if it helps.” 

“It doesn’t. She should know how brilliant you are by now,” Stede shook his head. “I think she does. I just...I’m glad. That she gave it to me. I’m so proud of who she’s becoming.” 

“Okay,” Eddy said carefully. “Then why does it look like you want to cry?” 

“It’s a terrible feeling.” He wouldn’t meet Eddy’s eyes, a very bad sign. 

“What feeling?” 

“I’m so jealous of her.” It came out of him in a rush.  “Jealous of my own child when I should just be happy for her.” 

“If it’s the all the fishnet, I’ll go out and get you some right now,” Eddy tried to tease. 

“It’s not- oh, I feel ridiculous,” Stede finally sat down on the couch and Eddy sat down beside him. 

“So what is it?” 

“I wanted to write poetry at her age. I wanted to put things in notebooks that no one else could read, and I wanted to have a boyfriend, even if I wouldn’t say that to anyone including myself.” 

“Caught the mooning, did you?” Eddy smoothed a thumb over the piece of paper. 

“I might’ve set them up a little this morning,” Stede huffed a laugh. “She just looked so forlorn and he’s not hard to read.” 

“Good for you,” Eddy smiled at him. “Okay, so...this is a regrets thing?” 

“No, I think it’s just...” he sighed. “I was so goddamn alone at her age. I forget sometimes now. Isn’t that lovely? Do you forget? I hope you do.” 

“All the time,” they assured him, taking his hand. “Too much going on now going on to worry about the past.” 

“I was just thinking, watching her this morning, about...god this is maudlin.” 

“Yeah, well, that’s the mood of the morning.”  Eddy lay down and pulled Stede over her. “Go on.” 

He squirmed for a moment then settled boneless with his head on their shoulder. 

“What did you do on your fifteenth birthday?” He asked into her collarbone. 

“Uh,” she cast her memory back. It could be muddy back there, treacherous in places. “Huh. It was an okay one, I think. Mom made me these cookies she did that had cinnamon in them. I skipped school, got one of the boys to go with me and kicked around town.” 

“Good,” Stede pressed a kiss against her chest. “That’s good.” 

Stede already knew about the less good ones. They talked about that stuff in the dark of the night sometimes and he’d listen so quietly, then hug them close like he could absorb all the old pain off them. 

“Less good for you?” 

“It was my first year at boarding school.” 

“Oh boy.” None of Stede’s stories about boarding school were good. 

“They would announce birthdays at breakfast. I asked the headmaster not to bother,” he huffed a laugh. “But he must've thought I didn't mean it. No one said anything, so I’d hoped no one noticed.” 

“No such luck?” 

“They got me just before lunch,” Stede traced the edges of her chest tattoo which always made her go a bit gooey. “They said it was for good luck and I didn’t even struggle. I thought maybe it really was some kind of tradition. None of the rest of the traditions had been particularly kind and I knew those were real because they did them to all the new students.”

“You rich kids were fucking nuts,” Eddy deemed and Stede huffed a laugh against her skin. “We just beat each other up then went about our days. What sadistic shit did they do this time?” 

“They threw me in the lake.” He no longer sounded so teary, which was nice. “It would’ve been fine, I knew how to swim, but I had all my clothes on and it was a little cold.” 

“Your birthday is in the dead of winter, how cold was it?” Eddy frowned. 

“There was some ice. I was a tad hypothermic by the time I got out. I got the rest of the day off in the infirmary at least. I lied about what happened, of course.” 

“Were they trying to kill you?” Eddy wrapped their arms more firmly around him. It wasn’t the first time that it had become clear that Stede had barely managed to stumble to adulthood, but each time was a fresh wave of fear that they might never have gotten here together. 

“I don’t think so?” It wasn’t a very firm guess. “I never understood why they did any of it, honestly. I know I was odd, a bit off-putting and almost certainly annoying, but I gave up trying to make friends in a few weeks. I would’ve just let them be if they’d left me alone.” 

“Sharks smell blood in the water,” Eddy muttered. 

“I never knew how to be better. How to get people to like me, you know? Seemed like some kind of secret that I never learned. I’m so proud of Alma I could explode. She’s figured it out.” 

“Yeah, because she’s got you.” 

“Well, she has you, Mary, Doug and the entire bar.” 

“No, I mean,” Eddy tugged on one of his curls, “You specifically.” 

“I don’t think it’s any secret that I’m the bottom rung on her parenting ladder,” Stede shrugged. “Which I’ve earned.” 

“Love, you are so wrong.” 

“Am I?” 

“Look, Alma and me have a bond. Fucking love that kid, but my job is not ‘parent’, not really. Mary does a bang up fucking job, but Alma doesn’t tell her shit for her own reasons. Never has. And Charlie may think Doug is his father, but Alma’s never gone all in on that.” 

“Oh, but-” Stede started. 

“No, my talking turn now, shush up,” she said gently. “You’re the one that brought her all that poetry that inspires her. You’re the one that took her to the stores she actually wanted to shop at even though they make you nervous. You’re the one she was furious at when you left because she needed you, wanted you there. She’s got your curiosity, your mind, your oversized heart. The only fucking thing she has that you didn’t is all these people that you gave her.” 

“Mary-” 

“Yeah, she gets a lot of credit, obviously, but she’s not the one here crying on me.” 

“I’m only crying a little,” Stede countered with a watery laugh. 

“Alma’s never given me an entire poem before is what I’m saying. You know Mary only found out she was writing at all at the last parent-teacher conference. She’s trusting you with the soft bits of herself. I get the jealousy thing, but she’s only winning so hard because you gave her the tools.” 

“I don’t know how if that's what I did.” 

“You had a shit family and couldn’t figure out friends, so you built a friend trap,” Eddy pointed out. “Sticky little venus fly trap bar and now you have plenty of friends. And me.” 

“Is that how I got you?” Stede snorted. “I trapped you?” 

“Sure, it was all sugar sweet kindness in that bar and I was starving. Total trap. Helpless little Eddy fly.” 

“You didn’t fight hard to escape.” 

“S’what makes it a good trap. Point is, you figured your shit out. Little late, but you know glass houses, stones and whatever. Gave the kid a head start. Imagine if you had had that, you might be running the whole world.”

“I suspect Alma would rather run a graveyard.” 

“For now,” Eddy laughed. “Who knows where she’ll go? That’s the point.” 

“It’s a good poem,” Stede decided. “I’ll tell her that. If it won’t make her hate it.” 

“Nah. Might make her show you some more of them though.” 

“There are far worse fates.”

[dragonmuse]

I think you’ve mentioned it in passing before but would you ever write eddy telling stede what happened with their father? was that something she was afraid to tell him about more than the other stuff about her work?

(I hope I did this justice anon! this takes place a few weeks before they get engaged)

It was dark. It was always dark today.

It was a weekday night, the long drifting molasses time between curtain calls. There was no reason for it to be a bad night. The world was calm, rain pattering gentle on the window. 

But Eddy knew the date. It had haunted them like a terrible chain-rattling spook for years. They remembered how the wind had rattled through the house when the door had slammed open. The sound of rasping breath. How he’d fallen, limp and quiet. 

When she was younger, she’d drink to forget and wind up black out wasted. The kind that meant she woke up in her own bed, water and advil waiting for her and her memory scratched out. Sometimes a scrawled note in familiar handwriting warned her of this or that transgression when that had still mattered. When Hornigold had been around to care. 

There had been lots of days when Izzy couldn’t or wouldn’t get her home, but somehow on this date, she was only ever in her own bed. Maybe it was the way she woke up with her throat raw like she’d screamed or thrown up, weakening herself so he could drag her sorry corpse where it belonged. Or maybe it was a coincidence. She had never gotten the courage to ask and now that path was closed anyway. 

Tonight, she was sober. Painfully so. Stede, beautifully oblivious, was humming his atonal hum as he tidied up Leda’s vanity.  Eddy had turned off most of the lights, laying on the couch in partial darkness, lit only by Leda’s glowing mirror. 

Stede hadn’t asked why Eddy was plunging them into darkness. He had only watched and then found a way to keep himself busy. Maybe he just hadn’t noticed her misery or was trying to avoid it. They were still new to each other in a lot of ways.

Eddy was new to herself. No booze, no party favors. A silky dressing gown pulled around her. Lavender scenting her hair. It was all new and strange and beautiful. Except that she still desperately wished for oblivion. 

“Dear heart,” Stede said softly and when had he moved across the room? He was sinking to his knees. “You don’t....are you...you don’t seem well.” 

So he had noticed. Eddy turned their face away, unable to bear his kind scrunched up expression. 

“It’s the day. I’ll be fine tomorrow,” she got out. 

“Ah,” Stede made a soft noise as if that had actually enlightened him. He took their hand in his and brought it to his lips. He kissed the back of her hand like a fucking knight. “What did the day do to you?” 

“It’s what I did to it,” they whispered. 

“All right,” Stede started then stopped. Eddy waited for him to say something else, but there was only the rasp of both their breath in the air. 

“I’ve done terrible things. You know that?” 

“You’ve tried to make me aware, yes,” Stede pressed another kiss to the back of her hand. “And I know I’ve been a bit stubborn about this point, but I truly do not give a shit, love.” 

She huffed a broken syllable of laughter. “This is something else.” 

“So not about you beating someone to a bloody faceless pulp? That one was exhilarating. I liked the bit where you explained how to break someone’s jaw. Or is this closer to when you conned that mayor? Because I have to tell you that was impressive on several levels.” 

“No. No it’s nothing like that.” They couldn’t turn to face him. Couldn’t bear it. 

“You don’t have to tell me. We could just go to bed right now and I’ll hold you until you fall asleep. Then it’ll be morning.” 

It was very very tempting. It would probably even work. They’d be able to shuck off all of this and forget for another year. Who knew if Stede would even be there next year? 

If she was honest with herself, and lately she was experimenting with that more and more, she knew he would be. It was new, but it had a stable foundation. (She would discover later that he already had the ring. Had been tidying the vanity to conceal the purchase.) 

“My father beat my mother. Me too, sometimes,” they said slowly, not quite letting themselves in on what they were saying. As if it were an echo in a well, rising up to a man with a coin. 

“Yes,” Stede kissed her hand again. “Some things you said...I inferred.” 

There were words that had been sitting at the back of her throat for nearly four decades. They choked them all the time, resting there unspoken except for the way they bit  and scratched at all the other things they’d said. Taking chunks of meaning and feeling, leaving everything a little bit lessened. 

What if they spoke them? What if they let it off it’s chain and found...what? What would remain? Would it be so terrible to be free of it now? 

“I killed him, Stede.” They so rarely said his name. It helped. To pair the ugly with the beautiful. “I was ten years old and I murdered my father.” 

“My dear,” another kiss to her hand. “How awful that must’ve been for you.” 

“I’m a monster.” 

Stede knee walked closer, close enough that she could press her face to their joined hands without moving much. She could smell his cologne, mild after a day’s wear, but still lingering, bergamot and cedarwood. 

“There’s nothing monstrous in a child keeping themselves safe,” Stede told them with certainty she wished she could steal. 

“The court might disagree.” 

“When did we start caring about them?”  

“I hate it. Remembering. Things were better with him gone. But I can’t forget it.” 

“It happened today?” Stede guessed. They nodded, forehead still pressed to his hand, clinging. “No wonder you wanted to hide away. Next year, we’ll find something else. Some way to get your mind off it. But tonight...are you sure you don’t want a cuddle in bed?” 

The idea that Stede had heard that bleeding confession and was still offering his body as a space heater was almost too much to bear. Eddy reached for him and they didn’t make it to bed for a long time. Instead they pressed themselves to him on the velvet couch, already witness to so many of their moments. 

“I still love you, honey,” Stede said right into her ear, a drug that made her heavy and relaxed. 

They would make it to bed eventually, but what Eddy would always remember was the couch. 

“Please don’t tell anyone,” Eddy had whispered. 

“I never would. No matter what happened.” 

The secret shared lost some of its power. There would be, in the not too distant future, a year when Eddy didn’t remember the date until she was halfway to sleep. And that year, she would sigh and close her eyes against it. Little by little, the spell was broken and it had no power anymore.

[dragonmuse]

I’ve been struggling a bit and have found major comfort in this universe. So i would love something about when when eddys depression crops up, and how stede supports her during them.

(I'm so sorry you're having a hard time anon. I hope this is what you were imagining)

“Ah,” Stede came home with a soft click of the door. “There you are, honey. I brought home some dinner.” 

Eddy had not been hiding. They may have become one with the couch, but they weren’t that good at camouflaging. It had been some time since they’d oozed out of bed and made it this far, curling in one far corner, but they couldn’t say how long. The television was on, prattling voices ringing through the air. 

“I’ll make you a plate,” Stede decided. “I wasn’t sure what you were in the mood for, so I just got some soup with the little dumplings that you liked.” 

Soup was always okay. Sometimes when she got like this, eating became irritating, but soup was fine. It was warm and stayed in its little container while she sipped at it and fishing the dumplings out with her bare fingers always made Stede give that little high-pitched whine that she enjoyed. Mildly scandalizing him was as good as she got these days. He was more resistant to her chaos or maybe just enjoyed it too much to protest. 

Eddy didn’t get up and Stede didn’t make her. They ate and the tv went blabbing on until Stede was done. 

“Can I read to you?” 

“...yeah.” 

“Any preferences?” 

Eddy shook her head mutely and waited for Stede to choose something. When he came back to the couch, she rested her head on his thigh, curling up under her robe. His free hand landed in her hair. He didn’t say anything about the tangles, just slid his fingers through the locks to rub at her scalp until her eyes were half-lidded. 

“Lay your sleeping head, my love,/ Human on my faithless arm;” he read in slow, solemn tones. It was more restful than the tv, easy to follow. “Time and fevers burn away/ Individual beauty from/ Thoughtful children, and the grave/ Proves the child ephemeral:/But in my arms till break of day/ Let the living creature lie,/ Mortal, guilty, but to me/ The entirely beautiful.” 

“S’nice.” Eddy palmed Stede’s knee cap. “What is it?” 

“Lullaby by W.H. Auden. Would you like to hear the rest?” 

“Please.” 

He went on, finishing that poem and then onto the next. The words poured over Eddy and sank into her skin.  

“It’s a nice night,” Stede said eventually. “Not too cold. Would you go for a walk with me?” 

The idea was exhausting, but they had been here for some time. Their knee was stiff with disuse which would be annoying soon.

“Yeah,” she decided and heaved herself upwards. Getting dressed was out of the question, so she just pulled on sweatpants and belted the robe tight. Shoes were slip-ons left at the front door. 

They didn’t go quickly. Stede had learned to keep up with the ground-eating stride Eddy still practiced on days when her body wasn’t actively stopping her, but they were at slower gear today and Stede seemed happy enough to ratchet it back. 

“I’m sorry,” Eddy said to the air. 

“What for?” Stede squeezed her hand. 

“For being like this sometimes.” 

“I don’t need apologies for that,” Stede said softly. “I worry because you seem so unhappy, but honey, you could be the saddest girl in the world and I would still want to be right by your side.” 

Eddy shook her head, “But it’s miserable. And I can’t do all the things you like to do.” 

“So I do them on my own for a bit. What do you think marriage is? It’s taken me two rounds to learn, but I assure you that the sickness and in health bit is important.” 

“We didn’t say that part.” 

“I meant it anyway. Didn’t you?” 

“Course I did,” they said quickly. 

“Then no apologies are needed. We’ll see each other through, won’t we?” 

They walked around the block twice and then back into the apartment.  

“What if I did up your hair?” Stede offered when shoes and sweatpants had been viciously shucked off again. “Just take care of the tangles and braid it?” 

Eddy wavered. It would feel good, probably. And she wouldn’t really have to do much.  

“Yeah, okay.” 

She sat on the floor and let him do his thing, the hypnotic weave of his fingers, so careful not to break up the curl made her sleepy.  The braid was getting longer, the tail falling nearly halfway down her back now. It was probably ridiculous to let it get so long, getting in the way and shedding everywhere. It made putting on wigs a trail and a half that was certain.  

But it was a cape of black and silver. A comfort even when everything else felt faded and distant as the moon. 

They slept as they always did, Stede curled around them, his lips just shy of touching their neck. Things would be a little better in the morning, then even better the day after that. Her dark mood no longer sank her for weeks on end nor did it curdle into the white hot anger that had once defined her. 

Instead, they would go for walks and listen to poetry and go to the bar. They’d play darts with Jim and Lucius would make them something disgusting or amazing to drink depending on how irritating they’d been that week.  They’d practice fire eating with Pete, still not a Stede approved act, but they’d get it down one day. 

But for tonight, there was Stede warm at her back, his hand resting over their heart. The world went on around them. None of it was a cure, but all of it was good medicine and she swallowed it whole.

[dragonmuse]

It might be weird timeline wise, but could we see Stede and/or Eddy teaching Alma how to do makeup?

(got this ask long enough ago that the timeline has changed, so there are plenty of place to put it now! This starts when Alma is 14, just before I'll Share Your Load) 

“Smooth as you can.” Stede painted eyeliner over the back of his hand to show her. “You can always take it off if you make a mistake, but I always do mine after shadow and it can make a mess if you have to wipe too much off.” 

“Okay.” Alma watched then took up her own felt tip. She moved it slowly over the lid. 

“Good,” he praised. “Going a little faster will help, you won’t get so many hesitation marks, but it looks nice already.” 

“Hey, look at that,” Eddy came down the stairs. “How come I wasn’t called for lessons?” 

“You were sleeping,” Stede smiled at them. “You’re welcome to join us. It’s mascara next.” 

“Surprisingly less pointy than you’d think,” Eddy offered and wrapped her arms around Stede’s shoulders. He was sitting in a kitchen chair so Alma could sit at the vanity with its lighted mirror. 

“How can I do that thing you do?” Alma asked, carefully doing her other eye. “With the sharp angle part at the edges?” 

“Wings,” Eddy nodded. “They’re tricky bastards, but you’ve got a steady hand. Bet you can do it without the training wheels.” 

“Eddy started with tape,” Stede explained. “Which there’s nothing wrong with. Gives a very crisp line.” 

“Freehand it now. Wound being less messy.” 

Stede got her through mascara and the eyebrows, then turned over his seat to Eddy for the face. 

“You’ve got such a nice touch with highlighter. I’ll get dinner ordered while you two manage. Charlie, do you want  to go with me to pick up Indian again?” 

“Yes, please!” He called from his room. 

“All right,” Eddy rubbed her hands together. You pick stuff out yet?” 

“Dad gave me some choices that go okay with our skin tone, he said.” 

“Yeah, you’re about the same shade.” Eddy plucked up the blush palette. “So you’ve already got some pink in your cheeks. Gotta just decide if you want to have a natural look or a fuck you I’m wearing makeup look.” 

Alma caught Eddy’s eyes in the mirror, and gave her a very ‘duh’ look.  

“Want to get weird then?” Eddy offered with a laugh. 

The pale blue blush gave her a delightfully corpse-ish look that they dusted over with an icy  highlighter. Eddy had to go dig in her own kit to produce the navy blue lipstick. Alma knew the general application method there, so Eddy let her at it. 

“Can you teach me how to make the beauty mark?” She asked, looking at herself critically in the mirror. 

“Oh yeah, it’s not hard. Get the eyeliner again.” 

It was a little difficult trying to explain without snatching it up to do herself. Alma picked it up though.  And when they were done, she added two more smaller stars trailing up towards her eye. 

“Yeah, that’s great!” Eddy decided. “Galactic.” 

“Sometimes comets are made of ice,” Alma told her, studying herself in the mirror. “Ice and dirt.”

“Why do they look like they’re on fire then?” 

“Burn up once they hit our atmosphere,” she explained. 

“Ice and fire, good stuff,” Eddy decided and spritzed her with setting spray. “There we go.” 

“Too bad I don’t have anywhere to go,” Alma laughed, eyes squeezing shut against the spray. 

“We’ll get ice cream after dinner. Ice cream parlors are a place.” 

It had been a bit of fun really, showing Alma a few things. Neither Eddy or Stede predicted how she would take to it and how many video chats they’d have over it. Until she was confident enough that they just got pictures. 

“I think she might be better than us,” Eddy muttered, staring down at her phone. 

“I know she is,” Stede laughed. “It’s fine. She’s got young skin and all of YouTube.” 

“Can’t believe I’m going to ask a fifteen year old for tips. I can’t get my eyeshadow to blend like that.” 

“We can learn from anyone.” Stede rested his chin on her shoulder. “But if she starts taking dance classes, I think we can ban her from the club until we’re ready to retire.”

“Nah, we’ll just have her teach Buttons choreography, that’d keep her busy until we’re ready to pass the baton.” 

It was the first time they joked about Alma inheriting the bar, but it wouldn’t be the last.

[dragonmuse]

My curiously was aroused on my most recently reread of the LH&K 'verse when Stede said there was "very heated bargaining" around the wedding party. Was that just about whether they'd have one at all/how many people? Or were they actually wanting the same folks?

(excellent question!)

What mostly happened was that Eddy did not give a flying fuck and Stede very much cared and was picturing a flock of doves worth of people. Eddy bargained him down to one each and then Stede asked,

"Who do I choose then?"

"Whoever you want?" Eddy had a headache.

"But that's playing favorites."

"Yeah? So?" Maybe if they fell asleep Stede would work through it on his own. Except it was noon and they were at the nice brunch place that Eddy would like to come back to and people got weird when you fell asleep face down in a plate of maple syrup.

"It's not...I don't want anyone to be upset."

"Why would they be upset?"

"Because I chose someone over them? It would make me upset," Stede reasoned, waving around a bit of bagel.

"So don't choose anyone."

"But that brings us back to either no party or an enormous one."

"No to the big one," Eddy reiterated. "We figured this out already. Best person each. Deal is a deal, golden boy."

"Fine," Stede frowned. "So who are you going to choose?"

"Jim," Eddy said without having to think about it.

"Why?"

"Why do you think?"

"Don’t do that. It’s just if I understand your reasoning, it'll be easier for me to decide. Maybe I want Jim."

"Fuck off, you can't have them." She took the bagel out of Stede's hand and popped it in her mouth.

"I would've given it to you, darling," he sighed. "Just tell me."

"Ugh, fine," Eddy chewed slowly, buying time. But there was no getting around admitting, "they're my closest friend."

“Are they?” Stede frowned. “How do you know that?” 

“Fucking hell,” Eddy picked up their empty coffee cup for something to occupy their hands. “Dunno. Got a lot in common. Spend a lot of time together. Have fun together. If I want to tell someone something and you’re not around, they’re next on the list.” 

“Oh. That makes sense,” Stede offered up his cup. “If you want more.” 

“I’m good.” They set down the empty one. “Just...it’s Lucius, right? You can have him.”

“Lucius?” 

“Yeah, my love. Tall one with the fluffy hair that follows you around like he’s on a string and it's annoying the hell out of him. Can’t miss him.” 

“We do spend a lot of time together.” There was a smidge of coffee left in Stede’s mug. Eddy reconsidered and took it off him. Stede barely took notice, lost in thought. “Do you think we’re friends? I mean I would consider him a friend, but I’m not sure he’d consider it back.” 

“Dunno. Probably. You’re likeable.” 

“I’m really not,” Stede frowned, noticed his hand was empty and picked up his water glass instead, taking a sip. “I think you’re the only person that thinks that.” 

“Good thing I’m the one marrying you then.” 

That brought a small pleased smile to his face, “So it is.” 

“Anyway, he likes you. Luc isn’t the type that hangs around people that he doesn’t like.” 

“He’s not?” 

“Nah,” Eddy finished Stede’s coffee. “He’d be long gone by now if he thought you were shitty. Plus, there’s all the gossip sessions.” 

“I do not gossip,” Stede huffed. 

“You do. Maybe it’s about dead writers or whatever, but you two get very catty when left alone for too long. Like about the Bironic guy.” 

“Lord Byron deserves every nasty word ever said about him.” 

“Mhmm. See you can’t get me to talk about that worth a damn, but I bet if you text Luc right now, he’d have some kind of rant ready to go.” 

“I’m going to tell him you’re defending Byron.” Stede did not get out his phone. 

“If he falls for that, than he’s way more gullible than I’ve ever guessed,” Eddy snorted. “Just ask him, my love.” 

“Don’t know if you don’t ask.” It was a phrase Stede often leveled at the kids and he looked half-annoyed half-pleased that Eddy had needled him into it. “Fine. I’ll ask him.” 

Good. Then Eddy could have Jim. Perfect. Not that she cared. She didn't need a wedding party.

“Should we have another round of coffee?” 

“No,” Eddy reached across the table, but this time all she stole was Stede’s hand. “Can we go home? I’ve got a headache.” 

“Of course, dear. Do you think they should have matching suits?” 

Eddy considered the maple syrup again, more seriously this time.  “I would like a nap.” 

“You can’t fall asleep every time we talk about the wedding for too long,” Stede laughed. “Just tell me you’re done.” 

“My love, my heart,” Eddy clutched his hand. “Mercy. I’m so fucking done.” 

“All right, all right. Tabled for the day.” 

He was a ridiculous man and Eddy was going to marry him so hard as soon as they figured out the flower arrangements.