#back to my tumblr roots. i was the number one saw blog in the summer of 2018 funfact

[brbarou]

peace after the slaughter

[demadogs]

Hi! So I left byler tumblr after the fiasco that was volume 2 and I just kinda came back, and I see that you and everyone seem to be back on thinking byler is 100% endgame? Can you explain me what happened, and why are people still hopeful after mike's monologue?

sure! i literally just scrolled all the way down to my posts in early july to see what we were all thinking and wow it was a rollercoaster. good call just dipping out and coming back when we were back on our bullshit lmao.

so after volume two came out i think all of our initial reaction was sadness or anger but it was also a lot of confusion. i was so beyond confused at first especially when i got to the last scene and they framed all the couples and byler like that. after looking at my first posts after volume 2 i was pretty doubtful it would happen but i kept on thinking about the closet framed kiss. that was the number one thing that kept me wondering bc WHY would they do that if hes not in the closet.

about a week later was the first time i saw something that really made me think differently and it was actually from a mlvn shippers perspective. idk if this was anybody elses true “wait a damn minute” moment but for me it totally was. it was an anon sent to a byler blog from a nonbyler shipper who was rooting for mlvn (one of the respectful, normal ones) and they were basically saying they dont understand why all the bylers are so sad thinking they got queerbaited when to them, again someone who was rooting for mlvn not byler, the fact that the monologue seemed like a copy/paste of wills speech in the van only made then lose hope in mlvn bc it didnt seem sincere. that was so wild to me.

what brought us back to confidence in byler was mostly just us stepping away from the initial shock and disappointment of the monologue and remembering all the things that originally made us confident in byler endgame. i posted this towards the end of july where i just list almost everything that i held onto, not really as sources of evidence, but just genuine questions of what the hell the purpose of all of them were if not for byler endgame. most queerbaiting is just little things they could get away with but with byler the show would have genuine plotholes if they didnt go through with it. none of mike wheelers actions post s2 make sense if hes not in the closet.

i think overall it was pretty slow to get us all back to the point of 100% certainty of byler endgame tho. now i never see anyone saying they have doubts but all summer that was basically everyones posts going back and forth and i dont blame them. i used to hate the monologue and genuienly think it was a mistake but now i think with the potential of mike getting vecna’d and called out for him lying to el, especially with “friends dont lie” being such a huge part of the show, it could pay off so well. and that one anon was right, he was basically restating what will said in the van not knowing that that was wills feelings not els. now i realize its a perfect use of the miscommunication trope.

also just the fact that the tag on here grew tremendously. i think we had around 8k before volume 2 and now we have 300k. hundreds of thousands of people didnt care enough about byler to follow it on here but after volume 2 they realized something was up? thats very telling. i think a lot of people who believed in byler before volume 2 lost hope when they saw the monologue but for people who werent byler shippers, thats the scene that made them believe it was actually happening, which is pretty interesting.

but yeah i wouldnt say there was one specific thing like an interview or script that made us all confident again, it was just slowly remembering everything from previous seasons and the reassurance that one scene does not erase all of mikes questionable actions or all of their suspicious filming choices from earlier seasons.

[gotatext]

PREFERRED NAME — nora. i think i started going by it in like, 2009?? my full name is eleanor but i hated it n thought it was way too pretentious n i never felt like it fitted me so when i started writing on forums i decided i’d be a nora rather than eleanor and then my school friends called me it and it just kinda stuck, the only person who calls me eleanor is my mum

PRONOUNS — she / her / ethereal being beyond comprehension

AGE — 23 but i tell everyone im 21 because even tho time is literally fake im desperately clinging to that fleeting thing we call youth trying to catch it like smoke in my hands

PINTEREST — i actually have two. this one is my main one where i just cram all my shit n i’ve had it for years and some of its super unorganised. then i also have this one which is one i made for exclusively female characters. it started as mythological figures but now its like, women in literature and the occasional oc as well. variety is the spice of life!

DISCORD — lindsay lohan’s meth#8664

TUMBLR (PERSONAL/MUSE/RPH) — i used to be froseths but now im pvrscphones cos ya gal is a fucking whore for mythology 

OTHER SOCIAL MEDIA YOU’D LIKE TO SHARE — oi oi guvna ere’s me twitta. also here’s my letterboxd n my goodreads if anyone still uses tht

MYER-BRIGGS — enfp / infp border .... the classic profile of a lit student

HP HOUSE — hufflepuff, am fuckin mad. 

ZODIAC — libra which is a joke because i am in no way balanced but i guess i AM indecisive and a peacekeeper so?

DO YOU BELIEVE IN ASTROLOGY? — i believe it when it says good shits gonna happen in my life and blame it if bad shit happens but i don’t strongly follow it i just find it interesting

HOW OLD WERE YOU WHEN YOU STARTED RPING ON TUMBLR — maybe like 14?? my first rp blog here is literally so embarassing i wrote as clove from the hunger games n my best friend irl wrote cato :/ it was wild

WHAT YEAR WAS IT? — like 9 years ago?? 2010 maybs

NAME A RANDOM ROLEPLAY THAT STICKS OUT IN YOUR MEMORY — me n my friend ellie made this really cool group the summer before we left for uni which was loosely based on a concept mentioned mayb once in the divergent series, but it gave us loads of freedom to make it our own thing. it was called the fringe n it was like..... this dystopian society where people with different genes were cut off from the rest of society n lived in overrun slum cities where different groups had like, a monopoly over weapons, produce, etc.... my character jack was the leader of this lost-boy-esque tribe called the wolf pack who were hunters n used to run across the rooftops wearing the skins of animals they’d killed and engage in tribal rituals with sacrifices to the gods n shit. sounds lame but everyone there was so invested in their character arcs that it was a shame to see it go. but ! it kind of reached its end point so we blew it up w nukes n they all died. tragic.

WHAT WEIRD ANIMAL WOULD YOU HAVE AS A PET IF IT WAS REALISTIC — a fox?? do ppl keep foxes? idk i’ve always just felt a sense of connection w them like when a fox stares at me im like this shit is life i am living and breathing in this bitch.... visceral

NAME THE FIRST SONG ON YOUR DISCOVER WEEKLY ON SPOTIFY OR THE FIRST SONG THAT COMES ON APPLE MUSIC / ITUNES SHUFFLE — everbody party tonight by cobra man n summer girl by haim..... not my usual stuff but big summer chillin vibes,.....

NAME A BOOK THAT YOU READ IN SCHOOL THAT YOU SURPRISINGLY LIKED — lord of the flies and also the handmaid’s tale. one of assignments was to write a chapter from another character’s perspective n i chose moira

NAME A BOOK YOU HATED THAT MOST PEOPLE LIKED — skellig. fuck off with ur asprin ugly bat man i don’t care. also of mice and men. don’t care about the rabbits or curley’s goddamn wife.

WHAT TV SHOW DID YOU RECENTLY BINGE? — im not a big binger bc i find it jst makes me depressed if i watch tv all day but im nearly finished stranger things season 3 n i recently finished euphoria (big rec but proceed w caution as quite triggering content)

FAVOURITE QUOTE — cool girl speech from gone girl. but also “there’s something dangerous about the boredom of teenage girls” i know its like.... such an overused quote but it really encapsulates this kind of feral girlhood that a few of my characters like bridget n greta have tapped into. i also loved the line “i feel like i could eat the world raw” from song of achilles, that really captures this kind of.... pure n childlike enthusiasm tht i wanna achieve w rory 

LINK TO A VINE THAT EXUDES YOUR ‘ENERGY’ — this is my energy completely am always covered in glitter n staring broodily out of the windows of ubers at 4am like im in the sad bit of an indie film 

DO YOU WRITE OUTSIDE OF RP? WHAT DO YOU WRITE? — uhh.... not as much as i shd.... i want to be a writer so i shd be makin some effort to get my stuff Out Into The World but im just not.... lol. ive done a lot of poetry collections . i wnt to finish a novel @ some point too.

THREE YOUTUBERS YOU STILL TRUST — bold of you to assume i trust any youtubers

A CELEBRITY CRUSH THAT JUST WON’T QUIT — id literally die for saoirse ronan n timothee chalamet :/ chance perdomo also owns my ass. 

EVER MEET A CELEBRITY? SHARE YOUR STORY — i once high-fived dani harmer, the actress who played tracy beaker. today my sister text me tryin to make me guess what celebrity she just saw on holiday in wales and for ages she let me think it was timmothee but it was actually bradley walsh from the chase :/

WHAT’S YOUR PICTURE-PERFECT NIGHT? — i am in a bomb ass crop top and mini skirt, several scrunchies in my hair, glitter all over my face, wearing cowboy boots. we eat dinner in a trendy but affordable pub that doubles up as a cocktail bar n then we drink zombies or sex on the beaches n go to a rave where everyone is on the same wavelength n i share drugs with girls in the toilets and we swap numbers knowing we will never text each other but its ok bc in that moment we feel like we are soulmates and everyone is super drunk n touching everyone else n its all very visceral and we walk through the woods when the rave ends and lie in the grass because we wish to suck out all the marrow of life 

A CONSPIRACY THEORY YOU KINDA BELIEVE IN — princess diana was murdered 

ARE ALIENS REAL? — maybe the real aliens are the friends we made along the way

PLAY ANY PHONE GAMES? WHICH ONES? — love island game im addicted and way too invested in my fictional relationship with bobby, a cartoon

WHAT’S A FILM YOU LOVED WHEN YOU WERE YOUNG AND RECENTLY WATCHED, ONLY TO FIND OUT YOU DON’T ANYMORE — bold of u to assume i remember my childhood. but if we’re talking last 10 years angust, thongs n perfect snogging is so so cringe 

DO YOU COLLECT ANYTHING? — pairs of glasses belonging to other ppl when they break / get new ones even though i can see perfectly well. 

WHAT’S SOMETHING YOU WANT TO LEARN MORE ABOUT BUT YOU’RE TOO LAZY? — mythology...... always a craving and a wish i’d read like ancient texts but my school wasn’t good enough to do greek or latin or any of that shit n even tho i could read english translations i cant be bothered. also criminal psychology

THREE LANGUAGES YOU DON’T SPEAK, BUT WISH YOU COULD — italian, french and latin

MOVIE YOU’VE WATCHED MORE THAN 5 TIMES — ladybird, about time, angus thongs, shrek 2, what we do in the shadows, the history boys, atonement, coraline, the breakfast club, ferris bueller’s day off

NAME A FICTIONAL CHARACTER FROM TV/FILM/MOVIE/GAME/BOOK THAT YOU FIND YOURSELF PROJECTING ON / YOU RELATE TO — cecilia lisbon. rue in euphoria. alison brie in glow. adam parrish in the raven cycle. richard papen. olivia cooke’s character in thoroughbreds. allen ginsberg in kill your darlings. lily in sex education. holliday grainger’s character in the film animals --- i too am an aspiring writer who never writes and just gets drunk instead .

DO YOU FOLLOW ANY SPORTS? WHO DO YOU ROOT FOR? — no. cba

HOBBIES BESIDES WASTING AWAY HERE? — i go to the movies basically every day bcos i work in a cinema. im also a voracious reader n i occasionally do theatre or costume making

PLUG A TV SHOW / MOVIE / BOOK / VIDEO GAME / ETC… YOU WISH MORE PEOPLE WOULD CHECK OUT — where the wild things are (film by spike jonze).  animals. beats. the book fen by daisy johnson and a girl is a half formed thing by eimar mcbride. andy warhol’s biography from a to b and back again

WHOSE BRAIN WOULD YOU LIKE TO PICK, ALIVE OR DEAD? — phoebe waller-bridge on how i get her life. carey mulligan on how she got to be such a good actress n how i can become her. maybs wes anderson. maybs gillian flynn. i tend to listen to podcasts w the ppl i really wanna pick the brains of.

TEAM EDWARD OR JACOB? — edward :/

LAST MOVIE SEEN IN THEATRE — blinded by the light n i lovd it

DO YOU STILL READ? — when i finished uni i kinda got out of the habit but this week i finished two books so ive set myself the challenge of a book a week.

IF SO, WHAT ARE YOU CURRENTLY READING? — i finished song of achilles yesterday n i also finished call me by your name yesterday. started circe by madeline miller today, im also partway through milkman by anna burns and the plays of annie barker

ON A SCALE OF 1-10, HOW MUCH DID YOU HATE FILLING THIS OUT? – 3 i didnt hate it bcos at heart i am self-indulgent and love fashioning some sense of self when i feel lost in a world that is scary and constantly changing 

[lovemesomesurveys]

What’s your hair like? A mess. It’s long, wavy, and a mix of my natural dark brown hair and the red that I dye it because it’s been several months since I’ve gotten my hair done and my roots are very overgrown. It also needs a trim. Is there someone you can’t help but stare at? Alexander Skarsgard. How do you feel about teenagers claiming to be in love? It’s hard for me to understand because I can’t imagine feeling that at such a young age and I kind of feel like it’s easy to get caught up in the emotions and lust due to hormones, and I wonder if they know what it really means, but who am I to say what they feel? To them it’s real, they’re the ones feeling it. Plus, I’m almost 30 and I’m not sure I even really know what it means or if I’ve ever actually been in love. I thought so, but I’m not so sure now. Are you dating anyone? If so, for how long? No. Do you believe in long distance relationships? They work for some people. I’ve never had one.

Do you have unlimited texting? Yes, even though I hardly ever text. What’s your favorite button on the keyboard? All the ones I use. Do you like your handwriting? No, it’s awful. Your biggest fear? Losing my loved ones, dying, never amounting to anything or never doing anything with my life, things getting worse or never getting better... What’s on your walls? Some posters/paintings and decals. Do you like perfume? Yeah, some. Are you a guy or a girl? Girl. Do you prefer to have girls as friends or guys? I don’t really have a preference. If we vibe, we vibe.  What’s the top thing you look for in a S.O.? Someone who is patient, understanding, caring, and kind are especially important to me. Last words you heard and from who? My mom saying “goodnight.” Why do people cheat on each other? There’s a variety of reasons.

What’s your favorite brand of pencil? I don’t have one. Do you wake up by an alarm clock? If so, isn’t the BEEEEEP annoying? Yes, but it’s not a “BEEEEEP”, it’s something I chose from the options on my phone. It’s like an instrumental song type one. The last song you listened to? I have Señorita by Shawn Mendes and Camilla Cabello stuck in my head. The person you go to for advice? If anyone, my mom. Are you one of those people who just HAS to vent to somebody in some form? No. I don’t like doing that with people. I hate burdening others with my stuff and unloading on them, so I don’t do it much. I save that mostly for surveys and Twitter. Do you have Myspace, facebook, and myyearbook? I have all 3, but only my Facebook is active. I haven’t used Myspace or myyearbook in like 10 years, myyearbook even longer, but my account still exists out there. I don’t recal using myyearbook much, I think I just signed up to check it out. How do you feel about avril lavigne? I like some of her songs. I haven’t listened to her music in awhile, though. I wonder what happened to her. Don’t you hate it when people don’t say your name right? Nah. Now and then someone will mispronounce my last name, which I don’t understand, but I don’t hate it. It rarely happens.  Have you heard of Paramore? If not, look them up. :) Yes, I’ve known of them for years. I actually saw them in concert once as well. Who’s your favorite sibling? I don’t like choosing favorites when it comes to family members. I’m closer to my younger brother. Favorite Parent? I’m closer to my mom.  What do you want to do for a living? I don’t know. :/

Do you know anyone with down syndrome? No. Does anyone you know have a birthday this week? Mine is tomorrow.  What do you think of the middle name ‘Jane’? I don’t think anything about it. What’s your favorite name in the opposite gender? Alexander. Can you keep eye contact with everyone? I find it awkward to hold it too long at once, like I’ll look away for a bit and then look back and so on. What color are your eyes? Brown. Do you curl or straighten your hair? It’s been like 3 years at least since I last straightened my hair myself. When I get my hair done my hair stylist straightens it, but it’s been almost a year since I got my hair done. :X Pro-life or pro-choice? Why? What shape is your favorite bowl? Bowl shape?  Did you know the Salvation army was a church, too? I think I’ve heard that before. I hate winter. What’s your least favorite season? Ugh, SUMMER.

Do you know the difference between a hoodie and a jacket with a hood? A hoodie is more thin/lightweight.  Do you belive in 'hating’ anyone? I don’t hate anyone. Do you like Twilight? I was really into it when the books were still coming out and then the movies, but I outgrew it. Do you know the difference between loving someone and being in love? Yes. I’m not in love with a family member, but I love them. What animal that is endangered is your favorite? Giraffes. :( How do you believe the Earth and life on it was created? God. What’s your religion? Christianity. How many fingers do you have? * 10 (dont u come @ me w that “”“thumbs”“” bullsh*t either, lmao. They'are ALL fingers) <<<< Hahah. I say the same thing. Don’t get all technical with me! What about toes? 10. Do you like your teeth? No. Do you need glasses or contacts? I wear glasses. Have you considered getting contacts that change your eyecolor? What color? It’s cool, but the idea of putting in contacts freaks me out. I also prefer wearing glasses anyway.  Do you have allergies? Yes. Have you ever made a quiz? Don’t you love it when you’re on a roll? Once, a long time ago. Like pre-Tumblr days. What time zone are you in? Pacific.  Do you wish you lived some where else? Yes. Sometimes don’t you wish you could move away and start over? Yes, but unfortunately my problems would follow me. It would be nice to live somewhere else, though. I hate this city. What’s the craziest color you’ve seen on a house? I’ve seen pink, yellow, purple, and blue houses. Do you like the name Trevor? Eh. How do you pronounce Bzoink? Biz-oink. Is Taylor Swift better than the rest of the teen singers? I’m not a fan of Taylor Swift.  What time will it be in 3 hours and 2 minutes? 7:14AM. What’s your favorite brand of cereal? General Mills, Kellogs, and Post. Do you like to read? Yes. What’s your GPA? I’m doneeee with school. Isn’t annoying when you’re friends are different around different people? Depends on how they’re being different. I did have a friend who was completely different and not in a good way. Do you want a phone with a keyboard? I have a touch screen phone. Do you go to church but you aren’t sure if you believe in God? I don’t go to church right now, but I do believe in God.  What grade are you in? I’m done with school, remember? Are you shorter then most of your friends? Yes, all of them. Do you prefer a S.O. older or younger? By how much? A bit older. Like up to 5 years at most, I’d say. I just feel like the older I get; though, the harder it’ll be to find someone. I’m almost 30, but I feel so...stunted and behind in life. Someone in their mid 30s would likely be in a much different place in life and be further ahead. I don’t know if they’d want to date me with where I am in life. Do you like popcorn? I love movie theater buttered popcorn. I also love this garlic parm seasoning I get put on it at this one theater we go to. SO good. Why does corn get chewed up but come out in the original form? Ew. Are you pessimistic or optimistic? Very pessimistic. What number do you think you’re on? I’m not counting. That was # 76. What’s your bestie’s name? Was it really? Wow. Anyway, her name is Yolanda.  What size shoe do you wear? 6 in women’s.  Do you like lollipops? Nah. Don’t you hate the texture of lotion on your skin? No. Well, unless it’s like greasy. Favorite movie? I have a lot. How many words per minute do you type? I don’t know. Do you think it’s possible to meet your bestie online? I don’t have a bestie online. Do you blog or write in a journal? This is my blog and journal. Isn’t health class annoying? I didn’t find it annoying. Who’s your favorite teacher, if any? What internet browser do you use? Chrome.  Isn’t it weird to like having butterflies? No? The good butterfly feeling is nice, like the kind you get when you’re excited or you like someone.  What’s the longest flower name you can think of? *shrug* What year were you born in? 1989. What time is it, backwards? 91:4. If you had to shorten your name to 4 letters, what would it be? Step. Sam; a femine name or a male name? Whatever. What’s the prettiest cat you have seen?  All the cats I’ve ever seen.

[rainbowyoungbin]

I was tagged by @rekaszabo. Thank you <3 

1. Nickname: Vanessa/Vannie/Van

2. Zodiac: Cancer

3: Height: 154cm/5′1 

4. Age: 16 in July

5. Time: 5:17pm

6. Fave Artists/Bands: SF9, Monsta X, NCT, BTS, Seventeen, Lauren Aquilina, Little Mix, One Direction, All Time Low, With Confidence, Ed Sheeran, Demi Lovato, Ariana Grande, Niall Horan, KNK, Red Velvet, Blackpink, Winner, Exo, Taemin, ect.

7. Song stuck in my head: Lowlife By: Poppy

8. Last movie I saw: Bright? The Netflix Original. I’m pretty sure. 

9. Last thing I googled: Tumblr. Besides that Haechan height. I think. 

10. Other Blogs: @snoopwoo @mikovalentines @awkwardlyjin @awesomeyoungjae

11. Do I get asks: Sometimes not very often though. 

12. Why I chose my URL name: Because Youngbin is cute af

Following: 2,000 or something close to that

14. Average amount of sleep: I guess like 9 hours. 

15. Lucky Number: 3, 4, 9

16. What am I wearing: A colorful tank and some yoga pants. 

17. Dream job: Photography/Something I can travel the world with

18. Dream Trip: London, Greece, really Europe in general. 

19. Fave Food: Pasta, French fries, Nachos, any leafy vegetable, rice, beef, chicken

20. Play any instruments: I know the notes to the piano and can play very slowly without paying any attention to rhythm (so no)

21. Favorite Song: Right now I like My Boy By: Billie Eilish (idk if I spelled that right I just discovered it on YouTube the other night) 

22. Play(ed) any sports: I did karate for like three months when I was nine

23. Hair Color: I’m naturally brunette but my roots look kind of blonde for some reason. I think I’m going gray. 

24. Eye color: They change but rn they look green

25. Most iconic song: Move by: Taemin 

26. Languages you speak/learn: I’m learning Spanish and eventually will go back to trying to learn Korean. But I’m pretty monolingual thanks America. 

27. Random fact: I pronounce the w in the word: sword. 

28. Describe yourself as aesthetic things: summer rain, silver glitter, mismatched socks, diners at midnight, wind blowing through your hair,dried paint on hands, weird laughs, cuddles with friends, rainbow kitten scratches, over abundance of pens. 

29. I tag: Umm I’m just going to tag the last five people in my notifs (y’all don’t have to do this if you don’t want to): @cynicalgrape @changbuns @babiiusagi @hellohwiyoung and @curlydawon

[jj-ktae]

☆…SHOULD WE KNOW US A LITTLE BETTER TAG…☆

Tagged by the amazing @marktunafish and @cecenybabe ! Thank for tagging me <3 <3 

RULES: you must answer these 92 statements and tag 20ppl…

THE LAST: 1. Drink: Sugar Free Coke 2. Phone call: Sister 3. Text message: “No it’s cool.” lol irrelevant without context. 4. Song you listened to: The King - Strange 5. Time you cried: A couple of weeks ago 6. Dated someone twice: Ew, nope 7. Kissed someone and regretted it: Hell Yeah 8. Been cheated on: Yeah 9. Lost someone special: Yeah my grandma who raised me  10. Been depressed: I used to be, but not anymore 11. Gotten drunk and thrown up: A year ago, I work too much to do that but summer is back so....

LIST 3 FAVORITE COLORS:

12-14: Blue, Red, Pale Purple

IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU:

15. Made new friends: Yes

16. Fallen out of love: Nope

17. Laughed until you cried:  Yeah

18. Found out someone was talking about you: lol Yeah I burnt them anyways

19. Met someone who changed you: Yes!

20. Found out who your friends are: I don’t care about this, I just cut them

21. Kissed someone on your Facebook list: Hah yes

GENERAL:

22. How many of your Facebook friends do you know in real life: Most people!

23. Do you have any pets: My Dog Rocky

24. Do you want to change your name: No I like it !

25. What did you do for your last Birthday: Went to a Restaurant and ate mussels with expensive wine till my stomach exploded because i’m getting old, shit

26. What time did you wake up: at like : 9 a.m

27. What were you doing at midnight last night: I was probably being a smol potato on my bed

28. Name something you can’t wait for: VACATION, please, come soon.

29. When was the last time you saw your mom: Yesterday, but it’s not like I’m expecting these moments lol

30. What is one thing you wish you could change in your life: Family

31. What are you listening right now: Football game on TV

32. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom: Yeah there was this kid back in secondary school, he was cool.

33. Something that is getting on your nerves: Hypocrisy. 

34. Most visited Website: Tumblr I guess

35. i don’t know what the question was haha + 36. same + 37. same -no idea what this is but anyway+38 same (i’ll just go in order by number ha) ????idkwhathappenedherebutwewillcarryon????

38. Hair color: Brown on roots and very much blond all the way down lol

39. Long or short hair: Shoulder length 

40. Do you have a crush on someone: Secret !

41. What do you like about yourself: My moles.

42. Piercings: 3 in both ear lobes, 2 Tragus, 1 Conch, 1 nose, and another secret one I had to take off :(

43. Bloodtype:  0+

44. Nickname: Rinachu

45. Relationship status: DOGLADY

46. Zodiac: Cancer

47. Pronouns: She, Her

48. Favorite TV Show: I don’t watch TV yo

49. Tattoos: nope

50. Right or left hand: Left-handed right here

51. Surgery: Once for wisdom teeth removal, another time for general infection in emergency room and I almost died, and one after because it got infected.

52. Piercing: I think I answered this already hmm...

53. Sport: I used to play Tennis, now I’m a pudding

55. Vacation:  Oslo was great!

56. Pair of trainers: Vintage Stan Smiths, Nike Air Max, Nike Blazer, Nike Running something I don’t remember lol

MORE GENERAL:

57. Eating: Tarte Tropézienne

58. Drinking: Sugar Free Coke lol

59. I’m about to: Go smoke coz I need it

61. Waiting for: Vacay :( 

62. Want: Get more time, get romantic, I need some loving yall x)

63. Get married: Heaven Spare me

64. Career: Nursing

WHICH IS BETTER

65. Hugs or kisses: Kisses

66. Lips or eyes: Lips

67. Shorter or taller: Taller

68. Older or younger: I don’t really care

70. Nice arms or nice stomach: Stomach

71. Sensitive or loud: sensitive

72. Hook up or relationship: Def Relationship

73. Troublemaker or hesitant: I’m fu. hesitant

HAVE YOU EVER:

74. Kissed a stranger: Hell Yeah

75. Drank hard liquor: Hell Yeah

76. Lost glasses/contact lenses: Hell Yeah, the most expensive shit tends to disappear very fast

77. Turned someone down: Hell yeah

78. Sex in the first date: Hell yeah

79. Broken someones heart: Hell Yeah

80. Had your heart broken: HELL YEAH

81. Been arrested: Nope

82. Cried when someone died: Yeah

83. Fallen for a friend: Nope

DO YOU BELIEVE IN:

84. Yourself: Lol what kind of shit is that, of course not.

85. Miracles: Nope

86. Love at first sight: EWWWWWW NO

87. Santa Claus : I used to yeah but then I saw my grandma tiptoe to put the present under the Christmas tree, but I was happy <3

88. Kiss in the first date: HELL YEAH

89. Angels: Nope

OTHER:

90. Current best friends name: Marion

91. Eyecolor: Brownish

92. Favorite movie: Léon

Tagging, and you don’t have to do it, it’s LONG : @arimity @ladyinpink221 @high-on-food @highanxietyclub @hadesalmighty @yugyeomish @gyeoms-shake @mochimork @husbandsjjp @dudukowsky @jj-peach @jajajaebum @itsokaythough @valerie-pena-blog @blacklioness15 @ungiis @tuanmarkers @everythings-koreanpop @ah-ga-seven @jackswangz @artistia

[multsicorn]

Top five filk songs!

…. I love how I asked for asks cause I’m like, I miss tumblr, I wanna talk with you guys more!  And then I didn’t have time to answer for a whole day >_>.  OH, WELL.

You would probably get a different list if you asked again tomorrow, but five OF my most favorite filk songs under the cut.  (Oh, and only some have links, because the others don’t seem to exist on the internet.  Though I could record myself singing them, if anyone would want to hear and if it wouldn’t be a breach of etiquette…).

1. My Brother, My Enemy by Sassafrass.  [and/or: lyrics and explanation here.]  It’s hard for me even to pick a favorite Sassafrass song!  They’re my favorite filk artist, and one of my favorite musical artists in general.  This one doesn’t have quite as many harmonies/parts as some, but, it’s still excellent at doing that Thing where each voice sings different words as well as different notes, and, especially here, I love the way the voices diverging and coming back together repeatedly illustrates the flow of the story.  I love the evocation of a foreign (to me) emotional background (and they cry not for justice forgiveness or peace but for vengeance vengeance vengeance vengeance, an insistent crescendo that ends in a crash), and… so why is this number one.  It’s the story as well as the artistry of the telling that gets me.

In the span of seven? Minutes, Odin and Loki find something unique and valuable in each other, make this connection, this bond, swearing blood brotherhood, and then are brought by circumstance to break it (these worlds are my duty to guard and protect, I can’t make exceptions before such a threat, your children were my enemies), and the emotionally painful and complex fallout.  Could you get any more my personal aesthetic?  I kinda think not.

2. Glass Half Full (Of the Sea) by Benjamin Newman.  This is one of those songs that’s So Important to me.  (And when I saw Ben at Contata last month, I got to incoherently try to tell him so!  :D.)  This makes sense, I’m sure, to no one but me, but it is to my life what I liked to imagine “Rock Star” was about Kurt in New New York.

The story is… I found this song (for #reasons), some few years before I properly got into filk.  (I somehow managed to not realize it was about a selkie until the first time that I heared it in a filk circle!).  There’s been a lot said - outside of filk circles, too, I’m sure, though I’m mostly thinking of “Still Catch the Tide” - about the selkie myth as representing how women are confined in the traditional picture of marriage.  And at the time that this song was the song I needed - my now-husband and I had just recently moved in together - we’d known each other for three months at that time? but there were practical reasons for this.  And I was SO IN LOVE, y'know, but also struggling so much.  What is space!  What is independence!  My husband then (he hasn’t been for years and years now, we have LEARNED~) was very much like Blaine in New New York.  Basically.  Always wanting to do everything with me, and taking me not wanting to as a personal hurt.

So I used to sing - “a free creature or a wife, either way she’d lose a life, that she never wants to lose.”  Because the song wasn’t just a description of my dilemma.  (Though even the fact that it shows these as both things you might want, I appreciate!).  The chorus - especially the last chorus:

i’m not the girl who sees the glass half empty, i’ve got both my loves, that’s what makes me free, and since i can decide, i’m staying by your side, with a glass half full of the sea

provided an image of resolution for me.  And here let me explain one more thing: back in my late teens/early twenties, I actively identified myself as a deliberate optimist.  So the ending of the story being a. well, I can pick, so I’ve always got that, and, b., maybe some things suck, but here’s this THE GLASS IS STILL HALF FULL image… it just fit the particular things I was looking for so WELL.  It was a rocky adjustment, living together, deciding whether to commit to this particular relationship rather than all the unknown possibilities out there.  I’m happy with my choices!  (If you read my blog, ever, that should be obvious.)  But, yeah, this song #helped.

3. Solar Flare by Sam Baardman.  I do not have an essay to write for this one!  I just find it really beautiful, both the music and the images created by the words.  I think it was the first song I heard in a circle (where it was perfomed by Decadent Dave Clement) where I was like… I NEED TO FIND THAT AGAIN, AND HEAR IT AGAIN… and that was early on (in my filking ~career), so back when I knew less how to do that.  And for most of a decade it’s just been for me one of those songs that - you know, when you don’t feel like singing almost anything, you’re sick of all the songs you know, or they’re just not right for the mood you’re in, or whatever?  (Maybe you don’t know.  Maybe this feeling isn’t in fact ubiquitous.  I don’t know!  *shrugs.*)  It is one of those very rare songs that I never don’t feel like singing.  *hums*  there’s a comet just outside my window, hanging in the afterglow of a solar flare, and the stars like a diamond spilling off of the moon…

4. As I Am by Heather Dale.  One of my favorite love songs Of All Time?  I love Heather Dale a lot, too, and I’ve been singing this song just so much recently.  It’s supposed to be about Arthur and Guinevere.  But there’s a lot of specific notes - ’i’m not looking for perfection, i’m not offering a saint’ - ’i offer you this look inside, i offer you this trust’ - and, most especially of all, ’i need your strength to help me fight the battles that i must, i need you to remind me of the light we bear within’ - that are beautifully worded and sung, yeah.  But that also feel to me like beautiful expressions not just of infatuation, but of the sort of partnership that is… my life, really ;).  And, it’s pretty.

5. Causes And Effects by Seanan McGuire.  [link is to lyrics]  A song that answers many questions for me - not with answers that I didn’t know, mind you.  But it provides a crystallized form of something that otherwise isn’t.  And I’ve used it, in-circle, as an answer to songs that I’m sure were meant well but Rubbed Me Wrong!  … the song feels like it’s About Me, though I’m sure it’s about Seanan, but it fits many of us geek girls, and what I most take from it is this: ’she tries to tell herself that beauty isn’t worth its weight in gold, she sometimes thinks she’d sell her soul just to come out of the cold.’  (Cause YES isn’t an explanation, but also, yes.)  I don’t know.  It’s one thing to know that societal standards of beauty and of it being paramount for women to be ~beautiful~ are both bullshit, to know that if you’re lonely it’s not necessarily because of you.  It’s another thing to be able to believe that all that’s true.  And I’ve gotten there now, yeah, but it’s been a long fucking journey.  So this is a song about the road I’ve walked.

AND because, I couldn’t resist, various honorable mentions.

6. Eternal Flame, words by Bob Kanefsky, music by Julia Ecklar.  [or, to slightly misquote Batya’s Words of Bob, Julia wrote the music, Bob wrote the filk ;)].  This song is particularly special to me out of all the other filk Songs I Have Loved because it was both the first song that I sang in a filk circle - a decade ago, now, in October! - and the first song I sang at a filk non-circle (concert!!), just recently.  Also it’s probably good to have a little humor in my list somewhere, because there’s really quite a lot of it in filk.  And also also, I do sincerely love this song not just as humor, but e.g. ’when he filled the leaves with green, fractal flowers and recursive roots, the most lovely hack i’ve seen‘… really does get at something real about the beauty that’s in Nature’s patterns, and of process-based even though not intentional design.

7. Mary Ellen Carter by Stan Rogers.  Is the song I’ve sung most frequently in filk circles that isn’t a filk song.  Well.  We sing it a lot.  It’s ~found filk??~  Or it’s just a song.  But a story song about resurrecting a ship that’s served you well, even if the ship’s on sea rather than in space, well, it fits in.  And it’s something that I sing against sadness, when I’m sad.  ’though your heart it be broken or life about to end, no matter what you’ve lost, be it a home, a love, a friend, like the mary ellen carter rise again.’  (… also, it reminds me of Jack Zimmermann, nowadays.)

8. Goin’ Back To Hogwarts by Starkid.  I could meta more, on that spoken bridge of Days of Summer, or on To Have A Home, but… as a kind of complement to 'frequently sung in filk circles, not really filk,’ as above, I’m ending with another 'not really filk.’  (Though I’ve sung starkid songs in filk circles several times, and it’s always gone over just fine.)  Cause, like,.. it’s a fan song about a fictional property.  (And fun and funny and a great crowd-pleaser slash singalong.)  And certainly has a place in fandom, somewhere!, - but not specifically filk fandom.  Even if this performance in 2009 looks SO MUCH LIKE so many circles I’ve been in at other cons since slightly before that time.  I don’t think any other celebrity clip has ever made me feel so much #oneofus.